Work Text:
It was a bad idea.
In fact, it was probably the worst idea they had ever had in their life, and Remus had once helped Sirius set a dungbomb under Mcgonagall’s seat during the End-of-Term Feast.
“It’s not my fault you're such a good kisser, Moony.” Sirius told him one time inside a broom cupboard. “But it’s not like this is a big deal.”
He was deadly wrong, but it wasn’t as if Remus could ever correct him.
Remus had been in love with Sirius Black for at least three years, he was not about to complain about Sirius sudden interest in snogging him.
Not that it happened that often, with how busy they were. There was less than one month of Hogwarts left, and the N.E.W.T.S were around the corner. Both James and Sirius wanted to take auror training, what required top scores, and were more often than not studying.
“How the tables have turned.” Remus said during a particularly sunny day, while his friends bent over a Transfiguration tome. He had his own book to keep him company, but it was difficult to motivate himself to study when he knew his scores wouldn’t matter. He would never qualify for a job at the Ministry, no matter his grades.
“Have you decided which program you are applying for yet?” Lily asked him. She had been pestering him about it for months now, but everytime Remus had managed to dodge the question, a heavy weight on his stomach. She and James were as serious as they could be, with plans to marry and live together after school, but she still didn’t officially know about Remus’ condition and he wasn’t planning on explaining it. She probably suspected after all the time she spent with them, but she surely did not understand how deeply the condition shaped him, or how empty of opportunities his future was.
“Not yet, I’m afraid.”
That night after Peter and James had fallen asleep, Sirius pulled him to the bathroom.
“Did Evans’ question upset you earlier?” he asked after what seemed like ages, Remus’ lips tingling after the onslaught of Sirius’ perfect mouth.
Remus shook his head dumbly.
“Good. I brought you some chocolate just in case.”
One week later, as Sirius helped Pete with his Patronus Charm for the practical Defense Against the Dark Arts exam, James lounged on his favorite armchair, fed up with studying. It was late and they were alone in the common room. Lily had gone to bed two hours ago and Remus knew he should have followed her, as the full moon was only three days away. He didn’t want to waste the scant time he got, though. In ten days time they would be packing to leave Hogwarts forever and Remus was not sure what to expect.
“Tell me, Moony.” James prompted. “Aren’t you excited for afterwards?”
Remus shrugged. “I guess.”
James turned to him, more somber than Remus had ever seen him.
“Listen. I know it won’t be easy. Especially with all that’s going on lately, the disappearances and all that Death Eater bullshit.” He seemed angry just talking about it. “But we’ll have each other’s back, right? If everything works out, Sirius, Peter and I will be in London training, and as you’ll be living with Sirius in London, we’ll see each other all the time!” He rested his hand on Remus’ arm, warm. “When will you move out from your dad’s by the way? I’ll help you guys out. I expect I’ll be needing the excuse to get away from ‘wedding planning’ for a bit anyhow.”
Remus smiled despite himself.
“I don’t know, Prongs. I haven’t thought it through yet, but I’ll let you know when I do.”
The thing was, he was having second thoughts about moving out of his dad’s. The idea had seemed wonderful when Sirius had first mentioned it during Easter Break, but not so much now. His uncle Alphard had left him a two bedroom flat in London and although James and Sirius had been talking about sharing after school ever since they were twelve, his engagement to Lily had ended those plans.
“You could share with me instead, Moony!” Sirius had told him excitedly. “I could do with the company and I wouldn’t want to share it with anyone but you three anyway.”
Remus had said yes, of course. The Lupin’s household was small and too far away from everything (it was too far to apparate directly if he did get a job in London, and floo powder was expensive) and the opportunity to live with Sirius Black was something his masochist heart had wanted.
That had been before though. Less than a month ago, they both had been caught in the middle of a rain shower while strolling through the gardens and out of the blue, Sirius had pressed his mouth to his. They hadn’t been able to stop ever since, although they hadn’t done much more than that. It was not like they had the privacy or the time to do anything more, but Remus knew that hadn’t stopped Sirius with any of his previous girlfriends. Perhaps Sirius simply did not want anything more, as this was no big deal for him.
It was a big deal for Remus, though. It was a huge fucking deal, and he didn’t think he could live with Sirius and have to confront all of that directly. They were almost never alone at Hogwarts,so it was easy to pretend nothing had changed. Living together though, just the two of them, like the two adults they were supposed to become…
“Prongs said you’re not sure when you’ll be moving to mine yet.” Sirius finally said. It was the day after the full moon, and Remus had just woken up in the hospital wing. The Wolf had been particularly vicious this month, probably feeling, as Remus felt, that everything was about to change. He was battered and bruised and there was a nasty bite over his ribs that would probably scar. “Did you change your mind?”
Remus hesitated, and Sirius took the time to brush his hair away from his face, soft and tender. He wished he could see something more in the gesture; interpret that Sirius did long for him as much as Remus did for him, but Sirius had always treated him so after the full moon.
“It’s only… Do you think it’s wise? I mean we-” Remus searched for the right words. “I know it’s not a big deal. But I just-.”
“We can stop if that’s the problem,” Sirius said with a crooked smile. “I don’t want to mess things up in our friendship and in our plans just because I can’t get my hands off you.”
Remus blushed. “As if.”
“I meant it, Remus.” Sirius said, and suddenly the smile was gone. “Don’t change your plans because of me. You were thrilled about it before, I don’t want this to ruin that.”
And when had Remus ever been able to say no to Sirius Black?
He moved to the flat a week after the end of the school year. He didn’t have many things, but somehow moving out had become a sort of event. James, Peter and his father had taken the day to help and now the five of them reclined in the old sofa, which smelled funny but was magic enchanted to fit comfortably as many people as necessary.
Sirius seemed a little shy about his father being there. “I know it’s not as clean as it should be,” he said. “But I thought it didn’t make any sense to clean before, as moving would make everything dirty again.”
“Don’t worry, lad.” His father chuckled. “You’ll be living with Remus, I don’t think you’ll have much of a cleaning problem from now on.”
They drank beer until late in the evening, the day hot and full of promises. At some point Sirius went out and brought them hamburgers from the muggle place down the street, and it was past eleven when his father finally decided to take the floo home.
“I’ll try to send you some money the next few months, until you get a job,” he said as parting. Remus wanted to complain, but he still wasn’t sure how he was going to help Sirius with the bills so he didn’t. Sirius was not going to charge him rent to live here, but Remus intended to share everything else and the two places he had searched for a job so far had refused him. It wasn’t exactly a surprise, as he knew many employers checked credentials at the Ministry, and Remus’ name was listed under the Werewolf Register. “I’m sure you will figure it out, son. You always do.”
He hugged his father goodbye, then drank a last round of beer before James and Peter left as well. James was supposed to go house hunting with Lily tomorrow and Peter was to help his mother with his cousin's birthday.
Soon enough, it was just the two of them, pleasantly buzzed from the alcohol as they tried to put the house in order.
Remus tried no to stare too hard at Sirius. The trouble was, he was absurdly attractive today, wearing jeans and a faded muggle shirt. His hair was getting too long again and he had developed the habit of pulling it into a ponytail of sorts.
“Do I have something on my face, Moony?” Sirius asked, smiling.
“Don’t be silly,” Remus mumbled, embarrassed, and pretended he was too busy washing up some cups.
They hadn’t kissed again ever since that conversation on the hospital wing. Remus knew it was better this way, but still, everytime he looked at Sirius he just-.
“It’s funny, isn’t it.” Sirius began. “Having the house just for ourselves.” He threw a few napkins on the trash then perched next to Remus on the sink.
Remus nodded non-comitaly.
“Moony. ”
He turned to Sirius, stopped in his tracks.
Sirius was looking at him intently, a question in his eyes, and he looked young and insecure and gorgeous, and for Merlin’s sake how was Remus supposed to resist that?
He fisted his hands on Sirius’ shirt and pulled him in for a kiss, and Sirius came, easy as breathing.
“Bloody hell, Moony, I missed this,” he confessed against Remus’ mouth. “I thought you didn’t…” But what he thought was soon lost in their kisses, long and desperate.
It was different, kissing Sirius without the fear of being caught. No one was going to arrive, or to wonder where they were; no one could hear them, or find them somewhere they weren’t supposed to be.
Sooner rather than later they had moved to the sofa, and Sirius’ hands had become much more adventurous than they had been so far.
“Sirius. You want to-?”
He nodded eagerly. “Yes. Do you?”
Remus considered what to say. He’d never…
“Why now? I mean, in Hogwarts there were moments we could have-”
"I wanted to. But you never tried anything and I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to."He kissed Remus’ nose. “Also, I'd much rather have you right now, in our flat than in some cramped broom closed.” He shrugged. “If you want it, that is. If this is just some friendly kissing for you, well, I can-”
“Shut up.” He pulled Sirius in for another kiss. His hands went back to work in Remus’ shirt in no time, undoing the buttons. He mouthed against Remus’ neck as he did so, making him shiver with pleasure.
“Pads,” he whispered, because his shirt was open already and it was important somehow that Sirius knew. “I’ve never… This is the first time I…”
“Don’t fret, Moony. It’s not like I’m very experienced in this myself.” He gave Remus a coy smile. “You’ll be the second bloke I’ve ever been with.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. That was not what he meant at all, but since Sirius mentioned it…
“And who was the first?”
Sirius had the decency to look embarrassed.
“A muggle called Chris last Christmas break. Don’t judge, Moony. I was in a muggle pub and he kissed me all of the sudden and invited me to go back to his place. And well… I got curious.”
“And how was it?”
“Bloody amazing. I can’t believe it took me this long to try it with a bloke, although I had been thinking about it for a few years now. ” His smile widened. “Let me show you.”
He tried to pull Remus close again, but Remus stopped him.
“Pads, wait a minute. It’s just… This is not only my first time with a man.I’ve never… Not even with girls, I haven’t..”
“What?” Sirius was appalled. “But I thought you and Marlene McKinnon had done it in the beginning of the sixth year?! I mean you told us you-”
“I lied.”Remus blushed. “She wanted to, but I was afraid if I took out my robes in front of her, she would notice the scars and find out the truth. So I ended it and told you guys we had done it, because I knew you wouldn’t let me rest until I had.”
Sirius chuckled.
“Who would have thought? Remus Lupin, a liar.” He grinned. “I guess I should be glad I’ve seen you without your robes before, so you don’t have that excuse with me.”
Remus sighed. “I really don’t.” Sirius was always there after the transformation, as Remus lay naked and bleeding and exhausted.
“Am I to be your first, then?” Sirius teased, but if anything he sounded delighted. “Oh, Moony, come here. We must make up for all this lost time.”
This time, when Sirius brought him close, Remus didn’t complain. He let Sirius push his shirt away, let him mouth at his torso, slow and intimate and delicious. Dimly Remus thought he should feel embarrassed about Sirius’ lips over his scars, but it felt too good to complain.
In Sirius' arms, he lost track of time. At some point he realized Sirius had taken off his own shirt as well, and then suddenly he was working on his belt, pushing Remus’ trousers down.
“Fuck, Moony.” He said when he first saw how hard Remus was. “You have no idea how…”
But he didn’t finish that one as well, too busy kissing Remus underbelly, his thighs, his…
“Sirius!” he called, shocked, as Sirius tongued the underside of his cock.
“Let me, Moony.” Sirius pretty much begged. “It’s been so long since I’ve been wanting to do this, I swear to Merlin, you won’t regret it…”
What could he say, really? It was not everyday Sirius Black begged to suck your cock.
He rested a hand in Sirius’ hair and closed his eyes, as Sirius went for it, as enthusiastic as Remus had ever seen him. Remus wasn’t exactly small, and Sirius’ teeth got in the way a few times, but he had never felt so good in his entire life, so it wasn’t like he could complain.
A few minutes later Remus tried to tug Sirius away, but Sirius pressed him down to the sofa instead, swallowing him whole, and that was more than enough. He came inside Sirius’ mouth, with a wail that was not entirely human, and Sirius gulped it down like he had never wanted anything more in his life.
He grinned afterwards, his ponytail rucked up by Remus’ fingers, looking as if he was entirely too pleased with himself.
“Liked that, did you?”
Remus nodded, breathless, then pulled him for a kiss.The taste was curious, but not unpleasant, and Sirius was hard between them, grinding against his leg.
“Your turn,” Remus whispered, and pulled down Sirius’ pants. He was hard and perfect, head glistening with arousal, and although Remus had no idea how to suck a cock, he at least knew how to stroke one. It felt somewhat absurd to be stroking somebody else’s, to be stroking Sirius’, but he seemed to be doing it right somehow. Sirius was beside himself, moaning and cursing under his breath, and in what seemed like no time at all he came as well, staining Remus’ fingers.
They lay together afterwards, naked and sated. Somehow the sofa had become huge, bigger than any of their beds, and although the night was warm there was a pleasant breeze coming through the window.
He was laying on his belly when Sirius conjured some cigarettes; lit one up wandlessly.
“‘Want a drag?” He asked, running his left hand slowly down Remus’ back, and when Remus nodded he bent over to blow the smoke directly into his mouth. Remus shivered.
“You’re ridiculous,” he said, but his heart was pounding.
“You like me anyway.”
He did. He fucking did, and it was absurd just how much.
“Pads,” he whispered.
Sirius took another drag of his cigarette. “Huh?”
“This is a big deal. For me at least.”
Sirius hesitated. He lay down by Remus’ side, his grey eyes searching. “Yeah?”
Remus closed his eyes. It was easier to say it if he wasn’t looking at Sirius.
“You got me all messed up, really. It’s like I have all those feelings, and they won’t go away, no matter what I do.” He exhaled. “I’m sorry. I know I should not-”
Sirius huffed.“Honestly, Remus, sometimes you are so blind I can hardly stand it.”
Remus opened his eyes.
“Excuse me?”
“Really, Moony, it’s not possible you don’t see it. I’ve been madly in love with you since the end of the fifth year.”
Remus stared.
“But...? You told me this wasn’t a big deal… You said-”
“Well, what was I supposed to say?” Sirius complained. “Every time I kissed you you looked as you were freaking the fuck out! I had to say something!”
“I was freaking the fuck out!” Remus answered, but his mind was still processing what Sirius had just said.
Sirius said he is in love with you. Sirius said he is in love with you.
“You are freaking out right now, aren’t you?” Sirius challenged, but he had a huge smile on his face.
“A little bit,” Remus confessed.
“Good.” Sirius pulled him to lie on his chest. “You wouldn’t be you if you weren’t.” He put the cigarette between Remus’ lips. “Now, take a deep breath and tell me all about those feelings. I want to hear about them.”
Remus took a drag.
“You know, I don’t think I will.”
“Oh you stubborn werewolf.” Sirius pulled back the cigarette for himself. “Just you wait, Moony. There’s so much for us to do still… We’ll fuck properly later and I’ll extract the truth right out of you.”
“And how exactly are you thinking of doing that?”
Sirius gave a wicked smile.
“I don’t know, Moony, how would you like it? I’m game for pretty much anything, as long it evolves you and your gorgeous body and your delicious co-”
“Padfoot!” Remus interrupted, blushing, “I meant about ‘extracting the truth’. Not about… That. ”
Sirius grinned.
“You’ll be insufferable about this, won’t you?” Remus asked, but he couldn’t help smiling as well.
Perhaps this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.