Chapter Text
Cold.
Verde shivered on the sterile floor of his lab. The smell of cleaning products filling his nostrils made him even more nauseous than he already was. Sweat caked his body, making things like hair and clothing stick uncomfortably to him. His once small infantile body, now slowly growing to that of an adult’s, curled up into a tight ball.
A position that would be relatively comfortable if it weren't the wires attached to the steadily humming machines he was hooked up to. At the very least the steady rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor reminded him he was alive. If just a little bit under the weather.
He just did maybe the stupidest thing he’s ever done in the entirety of his existence. The evidence of such a spectacular lapse of judgment laid just a few feet away. Having rolled the distance when he crumbled to the ground from the sheer pain that was inflicted upon him. Self-inflicted in all technicalities' as said evidence was one of his many needles that he always had on his person.
Normally, he wouldn’t have ever done such a reckless idiotic thing. He prefers to leave the dumbassery to the buffoons he once foolishly called friends. Before his inherent streak of self-destruction reared its ugly head. Forcing him into his continuous dilemma of bitter isolation.
A chuckle–dry and hollow–escaped past his clammy lips.
He really never thought he’d experiment on himself like this. Especially since he’s fine with just letting time do its thing and waiting to naturally grow back to his original adult form. However, while he was okay with it the others weren’t. He still remembers the bitter disappointment Skull displayed when the smoke from the curse braking had finally cleared. He was probably the only one of them to really show how he truly felt on the matter. Fon’s serene smile was rather strained. The edges of his lips were quivering just slightly. Any polite words he had felt a bit robotic. Viper’s cloak got a little darker. The color was normally a really dark, nearly black, indigo. This time it was jet black. A sign they were really upset about something. Reborn just did that thing he always does. The thing where he finds something else to focus all his energy on (like training Sawada Tsunayoshi and his guardians) instead of dwelling. Colonnello was too busy staring up at Lal to really be affected by everything, but Verde didn’t doubt the blonde was just as upset as the rest of them. He was just very distracted at seeing the love of his life back in her adult form.
The irony of his current situation wasn't lost on him. In fact, he finds it kind of funny. A selfish man like himself doing something so selfless in nature just to make amends for all the shitty things he's ever done to his fellow Arcobaleno.
Really?! Using himself as a test subject? Just so he could try to get everyone back to their original ages! He doesn’t even know why he suddenly cares so much. He just knows he’s drowning. A strange tugging, almost gnawing sensation seems to be overtaking him as of late. It makes his stomach plummet and turn. He can’t even look at himself in the mirror without wishing he were looking at anyone’s reflection, but his own.
For months now he’s been trying to throw himself into his work. Going as far as to take on job requests for things he’d normally toss aside as it was lesser than him. Because seriously, he was above making a pervy Don his own fucking machine. However, he just wanted, no, he needed to get his mind off whatever this was.
So in a fit of desperation, he slaved over formula after formula trying to find the right one that would turn everyone back to their own original ages. This isn’t even his first attempt at creating one. Actually, it’s the third.
The other two tries left him…well he woke up with Keiman curled up next to him. In a puddle of a glowing green liquid. A sample of it confirmed that it was from his flame channels. All things considered he’s actually relieved to be conscious, and with only bile next to him this time. It would certainly seem he’s made progress.
But is this it? The solution?
He tries to move his right arm and hisses at how his muscles ache. Forcing himself to move beyond the pain, he works on sitting up right. He feels like he ran a marathon, did some intense bodybuilding, then ended his night by inserting himself into a blender.
With slow, sluggish movements, he grabs the end of his laboratory desk, and tries to pull himself up. Cringing when his knee accidentally touches the bile in his clumsy attempt to haul himself up.
It takes some effort, but in the end, he manages to flop himself down onto his desk chair. Glancing up at the black screen of a gigantic monitor (one of many he has in this particular lab) he sees the reflection of his twenty-three-year-old self tiredly staring back.
Huh–he looks like shit.
But that doesn’t stop the large grin from wobbling its way onto his face. Nor does it stop the stupid little tears from leaking out of his eyes. He wipes them away, but they just keep coming. Accompanied by the laughter that just bubbles out of him. He isn’t sure if he’s happy. Hysterical. Or just hysterically happy.
Maybe that last one?
He honestly hadn’t realized that maybe gaining his adult form back was something he had wanted all along. The infant form never really impacted his own research and experimenting, so he initially thought it didn’t matter. Perhaps on some level it actually did.
He’s brought out of his thoughts when he feels a cold snout persistently headbutt his hand. Looking down he sees Keiman, eyes a little watery as well, wagging her tail while standing on her haunches. Her front legs being held up by the chair and Verde’s long legs.
He supposes she must have just wandered into the room. Done with lounging in the swap-like room he had built for his animal partner.
Scooping her up into his arms he nuzzles against her, laughing as she head butts him. Lightly snapping her jaw at him while she gives him a mix of love bites and kisses.
“That’s right, Kei. We did it! We really did it!” He exclaimed, holding Keiman up in the air, turning around in a full circle on the chair's wheels, before leaning back in his chair, and setting her down against his chest. Her little claws affectionately dig into him while making a noise between a purr and growl.
He actually did it. He found a serum that would age everyone back to their proper ages. The ones they had before they were cursed anyways. In reality they should all be in their forties or fifties.
He still has to run a few more tests, just to make sure there aren't any negative effects. As well as figure out a way to get the others to take the serum. He doubts they’ll all just willingly inject themselves with a mysterious substance. Even if his now fully grown ass is more than enough proof to show them, he isn’t lying.
His stomach does that uncomfortable lurching knot thing it’s been doing lately again. His mind drifts to the time his pawn drones almost literally killed his fri–er fellow Arcobaleno (he doesn’t deserve their friendship). It’s kind of hard to breathe right now so he just holds Keiman a little closer as his mind tumbles into anxiety.
“Well, time to run some more tests.” He says to himself and the cute crocodile that’s staring into his eyes. Looking into his very soul with an expression that might as well say, ‘Not now you’re not.’ The look is further insinuated when she grows in size and weight. Forcefully pinning Verde to his chair.
He sighs with a fond exasperation, “Okay. How about lunch instead?”
When Keiman shrinks back down to the size of a small dog, and slinks to the floor, tugging on his pant leg with her mouth, he supposes he is due for a break. That point was reiterated by his stomach making a low rumbling sound like thunder.
Getting up he heads to his kitchen. He’ll continue to run tests after a well-deserved break. Even if he doesn't think he actually deserves one yet.
After a quick shower and a change of clothes (he may have invented clothes that would stretch with his growth in order to put his money towards useful things like experiments, but he was still drenched in sweat), he winds up making a simple turkey sandwich. A sandwich he finds he can’t really eat very much of. Nor can he enjoy it. His mind keeps wandering back to the still baby sized ex-Arcobaleno. Forced to live that way while he has his adult body back.
They…they hate him, don’t they?
The thought itself makes him cringe. His breathing starts to quicken as his hands shake. It’s stupid really because he’s never really cared about that before. What others thought of him held no real meaning to him. His whole world revolved around his precious experiments.
“Can we trust you?”
Reborn’s stern, somewhat wary, voice echoes throughout his head.
How many times has he been asked that?
“Please–Senpai! D-don’t leave me alone with that lunatic! He’s doing that creepy-glasses-glint-thing he does before trying to stab someone with one of his syringes!”
The memory of Skull being left alone with him while on one of the many missions they went on before being cursed plays through his head. Of course, he really did stab the stuntman with one his many poisons. He had wanted to test it out, and the mission had technically ended when he did it...
His gut twists.
He-he doesn’t think he can breathe.
He gasps for air, but is it really getting into his lungs?
His hands come to cover his ears. His nails dig into the flesh there as if desperately pleading for the memories to stop.
They keep coming in an onslaught that leaves him brining his legs up onto his chair in order to curl in on himself.
"Why would you do that?! We're teammates, aren't we?" Lal shouts. Her face contorted into a mix of disbelief and betrayal as she gasps for air. A needle with the antidote is still embedded into her arm. Her morning coffee staining the white rug of the mansion they were all currently living in.
She was being so dramatic.
She'll live so Verde didn't see what the problem was.
Stop! Stopstopstopstopstop!
”It’s okay. You can do it.”, A gentle voice, as kind and sweet as a mother’s, whispers into the ear of a young boy.
This woman is not his mother.
He can’t be no more than nine.
The boy’s hands are shaking, but she slides her own on top of his, gently guiding him through the process she’s trying to teach him. Her other hand rests on his shoulder with her bright red manicured nails digging into his shoulder like claws. The boy winces as he watches the glint of the scalpel in his hand reflect the horrified expression of a boy about his age strapped and gagged to an operating table.
He feels the sweat through his blue latex gloves as his hand is forced to near the dotted line drawn on a small chest that rapidly moves up and down. Tears well in his eyes, threatening to spill over. Even with her hands guiding his own, even with her claws digging into his knuckles, his hands refuse to stop shaking. One thought is running on a loop through his mind.
I don’t want to do this. Please! Don’t make me. Please. Idon’tIdon’tIdon’t-
“SHUT UP!”
He brings both of his hands down into fists that are covered with green sparks. The table he was eating at shattered on impact. The cheap wood splinters, as its remnants decorate his small dining room.
He’s left taking shaky, panting, breaths amidst the ruins of his own destruction. Keiman peeks her head through the kitchen. Having been spooked into there when Verde expelled his flames. He’s thankful she didn’t get caught up in that.
“Sorry, I just…” He lets out a bone-tired sigh, “I just think I really need to finish this project.” He smiles sheepishly at her while she just gives him a look and a low groan that he reads as worried.
He feels bad that he was causing her distress, but he really did have to finish his current project.
Maybe then he could rest easy.
Maybe then he could focus on his own research.
Maybe then he'll stop drowning in endless guilt.
As he heads back to his lab dark green thoughts whisper into his mind:
I can make it go away.