Chapter Text
9/9/2121
"Sarah"
Well, even if it didn't happen today, I didn't care. Someday soon, I would get my name and my soulmate's name on my wrist, my name would be changed, and all would be okay. And yet, something had always felt off about my life. Like my name was never meant for me. And then I was taught about soulmates. Someone designed for you, someone you're designed for. Your perfect fit. It always seemed so dreamlike, so unrealistic, so unobtainable, so far away. And now, it feels like I've jumped from 150 years away to only 50. But it still feels like a long way off. It's the night after my twelfth birthday, and nothing has happened. But, it's good to know others feel the same way. When my mother was born, her parents named her Francine, a name she said she hated since she could talk. And then she got older, and an eleven-year-old discovered her true name: Nancy. Everyone still calls her that. "These feelings are normal," she says. "Everyone has them."
I always wanted to believe her, but for so long I never did. When I turned ten, the legal age for lesser internet access, I joined some groups. For kids who feel how I do, by kids who feel how I do. I do wish the lingering feeling of pressure would leave. It's like there's a gas, hovering over me to get two names instead of just one, like so many people do. And should I get two girl's names on my wrist I'd be emotionally rejected by my family. They never fully accepted me as one of their own. I wish my parents weren't so conservative. If they were more accepting, I wouldn't have to worry about it all- all the times they rant to me about how stupid the law is and how stupid it is that they can't just tell the teachers off for teaching about slavery, or for framing Donald Trump in such a negative light. His life and death were so controversial, some people mourned in the streets while others pissed on his grave. My parents would mourn, but I'd be a pisser- assuming they gave me a choice. They never do. I always have to do what they say.
God forbid I get two boy's names on my wrist- they'd disown me. I'd get handed over to an orphanage because "We can't afford to take care of her anymore" and then spend the rest of their lives envying the neighbors whose kids got a girl who turned out a girl and had a boy's name and a girl's name on her wrist. Blah blah, Christ, blah blah, Trump, blah blah, gay people suck, blah blah, who do you think will be your boy. That's all they ever talk about. There aren't a lot of Straight, white, christian, conservative families out there anymore, and my parents are pissed. If I had one of those "genies" from old folklore and movies from way back when, I'd get new parents. Rewrite the old ones, get put in an adoption center, get adopted by an old gay couple*, live out the rest of my life the way it should've.
Why couldn't I have lesbian moms? I'm positive I'm bi, and there's probably a 50/50 chance for either gender. And that's assuming I'm cis. I might not be. I figured I'd question it after I got the names on my wrist. I know my mom wants to see a boy's name and a girl's name. She'll order a name change for the girl one, and call me that for the rest of my life.
I don't have a lot of hope that I'll get a new name, but there's a little of it there.
'Jake'
Fuck, I'm bored. What am I supposed to do? I'm excited, but there's nothing to do. My thirteenth birthday is tomorrow- the day I'll get my soulmate's name and my own on my dominant hand's wrist. So my right. I have to say when I'm going to the bathroom so I don't accidentally spoil my own party. It both adds to the air of excitement lingering in my room and makes being stuck there even worse. I want my party now, but I can't have it yet because [1] It's not done yet and [2] It's not my birthday yet. That's tomorrow. I'll be turning thirteen and honestly, it makes sense that this is the biggest one yet. I don't have any siblings, just cousins who live nearby. Because of that, my parents only get to throw a coming-of-age party like this once. Turning thirteen is a big deal.
Full internet access is legal. Your parents need a legal reason to see what you're doing online- a mini warrent. Easily available, but enough to stop helicopter parents in their tracks. A thirteen-year-old gets to be in sexual relationships, or get a new job, or start being independent. And my thirteenth birthday is an even bigger deal because I haven't gotten my name or my soulmate's name yet. You can get them starting on your eleventh birthday, and ending on your thirteenth. Any day in between it could have come, but it didn't. So it comes tomorrow. I'm exited, I'm bored, but most of all, I'm scared.
* 'Sarah' considers old to be mid 30's and older