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The tent was glowing.
Estinien woke more slowly than usual, eyelids sluggish and reluctant to open, body relaxed beneath a pleasant buzz of warmth against his chest, but when he finally managed to peer up into what should have been the darkness of the tent, he found the fabric lit with a gentle red glow. His hand shot out, closing around the hilt of his lance before his eyes were even fully open, clattering the tip loudly against the stone as he lifted it, ready to face any threat.
Beside him, Alphinaud shot upright, blinking owlishly, hair in disarray. "What - ?" he began, before his eyes fell to Estinien. "Ah."
Estinien followed his gaze, and found a glowing red creature blinking up placidly at him from his chest. It gave a giant yawn before shuffling around in a circle and settling back down heavily, draping its tail over its nose.
"Ah," he agreed, more in bewilderment than understanding, but he felt the sharp rush of adrenaline starting to subside as he recognized that the light was no threat. He let his weapon drop back down beside him, still close at hand.
"Carbuncle," Alphinaud admonished. The creature didn’t open its eyes, but its tail flicked lazily in response. A flush began to rise to stain Alphinaud’s cheeks. "Leave Ser Estinien to his rest."
"Everything alright over there?" Estinien heard the Warrior call from the next tent.
"It’s fine!" Alphinaud called back, his voice rising a little too sharply on the words. "We’re fine."
"Alphinaud’s creature has decided to become friendly," Estinien said dryly.
He heard the Warrior chuckle, then the low murmur of his voice mixed with Iceheart’s for a moment before quiet fell again, broken only by the night noises of creatures around them. Estinien lifted a hand to poke a finger lightly into the carbuncle’s side, but instead of the brush of fur, he felt a softly yielding hum of aether against his touch.
"I apologize," Alphinaud said, crawling out of his bedroll to bundle the creature up into his arms. It gave a squeak of protest, its little paws trying to cling to Estinien’s blanket. "I summoned it before sleeping so it might alert us to any danger. I didn’t think…" He trailed off, looking sternly down at the struggling creature in his arms. It stilled and blinked back at him, eyes wide and innocent.
Alphinaud sighed, tucking the carbuncle firmly into his own bedroll. It immediately squirmed away and trotted back to Estinien, bumping its head against his hand until he obligingly ruffled it with his fingers again.
"Have you no control over it?" Estinien asked him.
"I do!" Alphinaud said defensively, glaring down at it. "Usually," he added, voice dropping to a mutinous mumble. "Fine, then," he said to the creature. "If you aren’t going to be able to behave - " He reached for his grimoire.
The carbuncle ignored him, curling up against Estinien’s chest again, and Estinien already felt himself sliding back toward sleep, lulled by the aetheric hum of the little creature, almost like a purr.
"Don’t," he said shortly to Alphinaud, holding up a hand, and Alphinaud let the spell he was beginning to cast fade around his fingers.
"I’m sorry?"
Estinien shrugged carelessly. "Let it stay. If it’s useful as a sentry, as you say, it won’t do any harm. And now that I know to expect it, I'll not try to attack it upon finding it in our tent when next I wake."
"I - " Alphinaud looked faintly stunned. "If you’re certain."
"Go to sleep, boy," Estinien said gruffly, letting his own eyes fall closed. "Morning will come soon enough, whether or not we’re rested for it."
"I…" Alphinaud seemed to be casting about for another objection, but when he failed to find one, Estinien heard the quiet shuffle of him tucking himself back into his bedroll. "Good night, Estinien," he offered in a small voice.
Estinien didn’t reply, but as he felt himself drifting off to sleep, he found himself lifting a hand to brush his fingers rhythmically through the carbuncle’s gently glowing aetheric fur.
______________
"I thought," Estinien said into the quiet of the room without opening his eyes, "that you were meant to let me rest." His voice scraped out of him roughly, harsh and painful, and he held himself very still to keep from waking the dull ache that hovered threateningly throughout his entire body, just waiting for him to shift.
Beside him, he felt a sharp jolt of movement. "Apologies," Alphinaud’s voice stammered out. "If my presence here will be a bother to you - "
Estinien dragged his eyes open to look at him. He looked rumpled and haggard, dark circles of exhaustion ringing his eyes. "You look like you’ve been through the hells, boy."
Alphinaud let out a weak laugh. "Something like it," he admitted. He glanced over his shoulder at the door. "I know we’re meant to leave you to rest. I’ll go if you’d like me to. Only…the Warrior was busy with Aymeric, and I thought…" he trailed off.
Estinien did his best to look down his body without moving too much. The worst of the injuries were hidden beneath layers of blankets and bandages, but he could feel the creeping itch of scales spreading out across his skin, making him want to shift uncomfortably against the bedsheets despite the looming pain. Along his side opposite Alphinaud, a faintly glowing black creature curled, radiating soothing warmth through the blankets into Estinien’s sore muscles.
"I’m afraid we can’t offer you any additional healing," Alphinaud said. "Your caretakers are already doing the finest job for you that they can. But I thought that perhaps some company…"
Estinien didn’t quite raise his hand, but he let it tilt to the side to brush the back of his fingers through the carbuncle’s glowing fur. "It looks different."
Alphinaud’s lips curved in a soft smile. "So do you."
Estinien let out a low laugh that cut off abruptly into a gasping wince of pain. He closed his eyes, turning away from Alphinaud, who mercifully said nothing, merely touched his fingers lightly to Estinien’s shoulder as if to soothe him. Everything in Estinien demanded that he wrench away from the touch, but he knew the ensuing pain would cause him further embarrassment, so instead he kept his eyes closed and his face turned until Alphinaud pulled his hand back.
"I’ll go," he said quietly.
"No."
The word echoed in the room, harsh and unintentional, too abrupt, too demanding, so Estinien forced himself to continue. "I’ve been laid up in this room for too long with too little news from the outside world. Tell me, what have you and the Warrior found yourselves entangled in this time?"
"Surely Lord Aymeric - " Alphinaud began, but trailed off. There was a pause, then a creaking shift as he settled himself more comfortably in his chair. "Well," he began, "after we saw you last…"
Estinien kept his eyes closed, but tilted his head back toward Alphinaud, letting his stories wash over him, barely able to hold onto any of the words, but drifting pleasantly on the steady lilt of his voice. He could feel himself slowly fading off into sleep, and he let it happen, seeking respite from the aches of his body in the gentle oblivion granted by Alphinaud’s voice and the warm press of his carbuncle against his side.
He woke alone, feeling more rested than he had in ages.
______________
Estinien sighed impatiently, propping his feet up on the chair across from him, craning his neck to look once again toward the firmly shut door of the Solar.
"I promise," Tataru insisted from behind her desk, "they’ll only be a few moments more."
"You did neglect to inform me," he told her, "when I agreed to join your order, how much infernal waiting is involved in the work you do."
"They don’t tell you that part," Alisaie agreed dryly from the table behind him. He tilted back in his chair to look at her. "If they did, they’d never get anyone to join. I've half a mind to go off and get this mission started on my own, without either of them."
"Let’s," Estinien offered.
She opened her mouth, undoubtedly preparing to say something absolutely withering, but before she could voice her objections, the Solar opened, Alphinaud and the Warrior emerging with G’raha Tia and Krile on their heels.
"Do let us know what you find out there," G’raha was saying, "and we’ll be hard at work here looking into things from our end."
"We’ll be sure to keep you informed," Alphinaud agreed.
His carbuncle slithered around his legs as he spoke, then made a break for Estinien as they emerged into the main chamber. It leapt onto his lap, turning three circles before settling down contentedly with its chin on its paws in a soft white cloud of fur.
"Don’t get too comfortable," he told it. "We’ll be heading off soon."
It ignored him, and Alisaie, already on her feet, paused beside him, looking down at him curiously. "Is that…" she looked up toward Alphinaud. "Normal?"
"It does this," Estinien said with a careless shrug, but he didn’t miss the way Alphinaud’s eyes darted between him and Alisaie almost guiltily.
"Of course it’s normal," he said, an edge of defensiveness to his voice. "Just because you’re not familiar with how to use one - "
"Oh, don’t you start on that," Alisaie said sharply. She rounded on Alphinaud, but the Warrior caught her by the arm before she could get far.
"You can bicker on the road," he said mildly, steering her toward the door. "Let’s go."
"Oh, do let's not give them permission," Estinien said dryly. "They'll take it as encouragement." He gave the carbuncle a gentle push, trying to shoo it off his lap, but it stubbornly wiggled around his hands, settling back down with a determination to match its master. "We’re going," Estinien told it, "with or without you."
"Carbuncle!" Alphinaud called from the stairs, and its ears perked up, but it didn’t move.
Estinien scooped the creature unceremoniously into his arms and stood. He gave a nod to Tataru, G’raha, and Krile, trying to maintain some dignity despite his armful of softly glowing fluff, and he followed the others up the stairs into the pub. As he emerged into the dusk light of Mor Dhona, he felt the eyes of all the others fall on him, the carbuncle clambering up to perch on his shoulder, curling its tail almost possessively around his neck.
"That," Alisaie said, "is definitely not normal."
Alphinaud strode forward and all but snatched the carbuncle away, Estinien needing to lean down a bit so he could reach. As he did, he caught sight of Alphinaud's cheeks, flaming brightly with heat.
"What…?" he began, but Alphinaud wouldn't meet his eyes, gathering the carbuncle into his arms and striding off toward the aetheryte instead.
"Come on, then," he said, his voice high and tight. "We're losing daylight."
"Alphinaud, Kugane is on an entirely different timeframe," Alisaie pointed out, but she strode along beside him, the Warrior pausing only long enough to give Estinien a shrug before following.
Estinien reached up to rub the back of his neck, unexpectedly finding himself missing the aetheric warmth of the little creature, before adjusting his lance on his back and following the other Scions onward.
______________
"You needn't stay up there, you know."
Estinien managed not to jump at the sound of Alphinaud's voice, too close below him, but he did startle a little, his grip fumbling against the roof tiles beneath him.
"Alphinaud," he greeted. He slid forward to peer over the roof of the Annex at Alphinaud, standing on his porch, craning his neck up to look at Estinien.
"You could come inside," he offered, "instead of lurking on the roof."
"I'm not lurking," Estinien told him with dignity. "I'm..."
"Hiding?" Alphinaud offered. "Brooding?"
Estinien sighed, dropping down beside him. He landed lightly, free of his armor, and found Alpinaud similarly dressed down, comfortable in soft worn clothes, his weapons and battle outfit discarded. "Keeping watch."
Alphinaud gave him a tiny smile. "I believe we may be safe enough here, for the time being, so would you care to come in out of the cold, oh brave guardian?"
There was a sharp reply that Estinien could have offered, but as he looked past Alphinaud into the chamber, he couldn't deny that the warmth of the fire looked inviting. "Perhaps," he allowed. "For a moment."
The moment turned into long enough for tea, which turned into Estinien relaying tales of elaborate battles with Alphinaud looking on in rapt fascination, which turned into Alphinaud doing the same, animated and lively as he described otherworldly creatures and fantastical settings.
It was late by the time the conversation faltered, Alphinaud rising to pour more tea, Estinien turning to inspect the case of sage weapons lying open beside him, one of the pieces propped across it as if Alphinaud had been caring for it before he arrived. "You’re becoming quite adept with these," Estinien offered. He reached to run a finger along the cool metal, tracing the edges of the elaborate engravings. "I will admit, however, I may miss the sight of you slinging a book around in combat, as if you are prepared to sit down to your studies right there on the battlefield."
Alphinaud laughed. "Yes, well. We’re not all suited to dart about the battle with a weapon larger than we are, are we?"
Estinien grinned at him, trying to picture Alphinaud’s thin arms hefting a lance. "You could learn," he teased.
"I am quite content letting you and our Warrior friend take the lead in that regard, thank you," Alphinaud replied. "Not to mention Thancred and my sister, and occasionally G’raha Tia besides. Some of us must remain available to keep you all safe."
"And full glad we are of it," Estinien assured him. He clicked the case shut, looking up to Alphinaud and finding a faint blush spreading across his cheeks at the praise. "Knowing that you are at my back has kept me fighting on many an occasion."
"I…" Alphinaud said faintly. Estinien half expected him to remain speechless, but instead he collected himself enough to continue, "I consider it the highest honor to fight beside you."
"Behind," Estinien pointed out. "And often slightly to the left."
Alphinaud laughed. "Yes, well. If we must be precise about it." He crossed to retrieve the case from before Estinien, placing it carefully beside his coat, ready to be snatched up for duty at a moment's notice. Beside it lay the grimoire, still pristinely maintained. Alphinaud reached out to touch the cover almost wistfully.
"I miss it too," he admitted. "I suspect, in time, I will learn to wield them both, as needed, but for now I must focus on becoming as accomplished a sage as I can be, so that I don't let any of you down."
"You never have." The words slipped from Estinien unbidden, but he found that he did not regret them, once they were said.
The laugh Alphinaud let out this time was harsher, lower, more of a stiff exhale than an expression of amusement. "Not you, perhaps, although I suspect your estimation of my deeds may be more generous than I deserve. But I have failed the Scions and the people we tried to help more times than I can count. We find ourselves in no position for me to do it again. There is far too much at stake."
"Alphinaud."
"I know," Alphinaud interrupted him. "Doubting myself will help no one, and will only serve to - "
"Alphinaud." Estinien strode forward, taking him by the arms and waiting until the words stopped spilling from Alphinaud's lips, until his eyes raised to meet Estinien's, wide and earnest and troubled. "Do you trust us?" Alphinaud gave a shaky nod. "Do you trust me?"
"I..." Alphinaud blinked. "Yes, of course."
"Then trust that I would not place my faith in a man who did not deserve it. There are few in my life who have earned that distinction. You stand in fine company, and have proven yourself worthy of it time and again." His hand drifted up Alphinaud's arm to land on his shoulder instead, tugging him forward, not quite into an embrace, but to allow Alphinaud to tilt closer, pressing his forehead to Estinien's chest. He let out a shaky little sigh that may have held a hint of a sob in it, and his hands came up to cling to Estinien.
"I'm scared," he admitted.
Estinien sighed, raising his hand to press to the back of Alphinaud's neck, wide and warm and reassuring. "We're all scared, boy." The tone was from their early days together, rough and deliberately casual, but he knew that Alphinaud could hear the tenderness woven into the words now, the warmth and meaning that the years had infused into their every interaction. "We'll face it together."
Alphinaud stayed there for long enough that Estinien began to get restless, but he was loathe to disturb him, feeling the unsteady breaths that shook his frame, the pounding of his heart. Instead, his hand lifted from Alphinaud's neck to play with his braid, then to slowly unwrap the ribbon from around the end of it. He unwound the strands gently, combing them out with his fingers, the motions slow and almost meditative. Unruly bits still curled atop Alphinaud's head, and when Estinien finished, the rest of the length held a gentle wave from being tied up for so long.
When Alphinaud finally raised his head from Estinien's chest, his hair fell in a soft cloud around his face, unfamiliar and beautiful. He gave him a watery smile, wiping at his eyes. "I apologize, I -"
"Don't," Estinien replied, gruff and final.
Alphinaud held his gaze for a long moment before nodding. He straightened, collecting himself, looking around for a change of subject, and when he let a small smile creep across his face, it nearly felt unforced. "You know what I think," he said, crossing to his weapons again, making subtle and unnecessary adjustments to the placement of his coat, his boots, his grimoire. He tapped the cover of it, looking over his shoulder at Estinien. "I think you're going to miss me being a scholar because you secretly enjoyed having the carbuncle around."
Estinien gave him a withering look. "On second thought," he said, "you're an exemplary sage and I never want to see you with a book in your hands again." He let the expression fade into a small smile. "Although now that we are free of it, I suppose I may ask. Was it strange that the creature took to me so? I hadn't the magical knowledge to be sure, but your sister seemed - "
"Ah," Alphinaud interrupted, flushing instantly. "Well. No, it was not strange, precisely. That is to say, it was not entirely unexpected. Simply..." He winced. "Inconvenient." He sighed. "A carbuncle is a construct of intention, you see. A channel through which to manifest the will of the caster. As long as it is given clear instructions, it will perform its task as directed. It has no true will of its own. Trouble arises when the instructions are unclear, or…" He hesitated, looking at Estinien from under his lashes. "Or if there is conflict within the caster regarding priorities."
Estinien felt a smile tugging at his lips. "So the creature wished to be near me…"
Alphinaud let out a dramatic sigh, face aflame. "Yes," he agreed shortly. He looked away. "It’s not something I meant to share with you, least of all now, with everything we are facing, but if it must be said then I suppose I shall do so, before the chance is taken from me." He looked steadily into Estinien’s eyes. "The carbuncle wished to be near you because I wish to be near you. To keep you safe, to be by your side as you face the challenges the world sets before you." He held out his hands in a shrug, still faintly flushed with embarrassment, but mostly looking resigned, as if awaiting Estinien’s judgement.
"Is that all?"
Alphinaud blinked at him, his hands falling to his sides. "I…"
"I must say, for how flustered you would become, I was expecting the secret to be much more dramatic." Estinien kept his tone wry, but gave Alphinaud a gentle smile. "Next you’ll be telling me that dragons know how to fly, or that your sister has a hot temper. Fury, I was expecting you to be losing control of your magic or some such. The fact that you are drawn to me has been no secret. It has been apparent from the start, as has, I suspect, the fact that I have my own weakness where you are concerned.
"You’re not…" Alphinaud asked, his eyes a little too wide. "Upset?"
"At you? For caring about me? Oh, for all the - no, Alphinaud. I’m not upset."
Alphinaud looked at his feet, running his toes along the edge of a tile. "It never seemed quite…welcome."
Estinien sighed, raking his fingers back through his hair. He considered carefully, trying to find the correct words for everything welling up inside him, before finally offering, "Not wise, perhaps. But welcome? It was." He stepped forward, taking one of Alphinaud’s hands between both of his, engulfing his small fingers in his touch. "It always was. It is."
Alphinaud lifted his head, eyes wide and earnest, a tiny desperate smile darting across his face. "A weakness?" he repeated, and Estinien, to his shame, felt his own cheeks heating to match Alphinaud’s.
"My," he said dryly, looking past Alphinaud toward the timepiece on the mantle. "Is that the time? I should allow you your rest. There’s no telling what the morrow shall bring."
Alphinaud laughed, allowing Estinien to let his hand slip from between his, but he leaned in, stretching up to press a soft, sweet kiss to Estinien’s jaw, murmuring there, "Good night, Estinien."
Estinien reached up to catch the side of his face, remembering nights so many years ago when Alphinaud had offered the same words and he had stayed silent, weighted down by everything within and around him. This time, he held Alphinaud’s gaze, and he brushed his thumb over the flushed skin of his cheek.
"Good night, Alphinaud."
______________
Even without a view to the outside of the ship, Estinien could feel the speed around them, feel the weight of inertia pressing against him as they rocketed toward home, not nearly fast enough. He slumped back against the foot of the Warrior's bed, Thancred by his side, and together, they waited.
The Warrior was alive, and he was himself, and beyond that, they knew little.
Above them, around them, the others worked tirelessly, consulting between them to determine the best spells to aid in his recovery. The moment when he had woken had drained some of the most urgent panic from the room, but even now as he lay resting fitfully, they bustled about him, trading theories and ideas that flew directly over Estinien's head.
"I do know a spell that can help with that," he heard Alphinaud saying eventually, his voice growing closer, "but I'll need my book."
He knelt by Estinien's side, rummaging around in the bag that he had discarded there. His eyes met Estinien's as he pulled out his elaborate grimoire, and for just a moment, his tense expression faded into an exhausted half smile. Estinien returned it helplessly and watched as Alphinaud opened the book, speaking the words of a spell under his breath. Between them, shining brightly, his carbuncle burst to life, shaking out its fur like a dog emerging from a bath.
The creature leapt instantly into Estinien's lap, and he heard Thancred huff out a laugh beside him. He met Alphinaud's eyes, feeling a sudden lightness incongruous with the situation around them, lingering just briefly in this uncomplicated moment that contained only the boy, his enthusiastically affectionate aetheric construct, and himself.
Alphinaud was finally the one to shatter the moment, gesturing to the bed. "We have work to do," he told the carbuncle, who obediently leapt up beside the Warrior. Alphinaud held Estinien's gaze for another second before crossing to Y'shtola and beginning to cast again.
Whatever he did seemed to ease some of the tension in the room, the healers' voices dropping lower and less concerned. When Estinien next looked up, Y'shtola and Urianger had trailed off into a distant corner to converse in low voices, and Alphinaud looked up long enough to meet his eyes. They crinkled in the slightest hint of a smile, and he turned to his carbuncle, murmuring something to it. Immediately, it turned for Estinien, padding over to him and leaping off the bed to curl contentedly into his lap. Alphinaud returned to the conversation he was having with Alisaie, and Estinien lifted a hand to ruffle the creature's fur, taking some comfort from the warm buzz of aether against his skin.
Thancred rose eventually, stretching, and crossed the room to lean heavily against Urianger's side and join his conversation with Y'shtola. G'raha and Alisaie remained on either side of the Warrior, G'raha curled against the headboard, fingers stroking absently through his hair, Alisaie slumping half asleep against the side of the bed. Estinien felt a faint smile cross his lips at the familiarity of the sight, remembering waking to find Alphinaud in much the same position at his own bedside.
As for Alphinaud, he crossed to the end of the bed and dropped into the space beside Estinien, his legs sprawling out in front of him uncharacteristically gracelessly, head tilting to rest against Estinien's shoulder.
"We've done all we can for now," he said, sounding exhausted. Estinien wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer. "Perhaps there will be more we can do when we land, and consult with other healers, but…"
"You've done good work," Estinien said, and felt Alphinaud melt against his side at the reassurance.
"I only hope we have done enough."
"Only by your standards could saving the universe be less than enough," Estinien said, and felt more than heard the shaky laugh Alphinaud let out.
Alphinaud's hand came up, tangling into the soft fabric of the underlayer that Estinien had stripped down to, pieces of his armor scattered all around him. "Thank you," he said, his voice too raw, too earnest. Estinien was still struggling for a suitably wry response when he continued. "For being here with us."
"On one of our last nights in Sharlayan," Estinien told him, "before the Final Days began, I went to see him." He tilted his head backward to indicate the sleeping Warrior.
"Is that where you went?" Alphinaud's voice gained a little of its brightness back as he knocked his leg against Estinien's. The motion jostled the carbuncle, who raised its head to blink at him sleepily. "When Alisaie and I invaded your room? I wondered."
"I told him," Estinien continued, "that he – and you – would have my lance, for the coming fight and all others. I pledged myself to him. To both of you."
He could see Alphinaud's lips curve in a smile. "I seem to recall you pledging yourself to me directly, as well."
Estinien chuckled. "At a later time, yes," he agreed. "I suppose I did do that. The point that I mean to make, however, is that there is no need to thank me, any more than you would thank any of the others. There was never the possibility that I would not be at your side. We stand together because you have proven to me that jointly we might do more good than any of us could ever hope to do separately. There is not one of us – not even him – who could have stood against this threat on their own." He bundled Alphinaud closer. "You've done well for him. For all of us. And we have done good together." He pressed his face to Alphinaud's hair, not quite a kiss, but the echo of one. "Rest," he told him. "You have earned it."
He could feel Alphinaud relax, feel the tension draining out of him as he pressed his face to Estinien's chest, allowing himself to hide for just a moment from the responsibilities weighing down on him. In Estinien's lap, the carbuncle circled and flopped back down, pillowing its chin on Alphinaud's thigh, connecting them both as it dozed off again.
Estinien tilted his head back against the bed, closing his eyes and drifting on the soft weight of Alphinaud against him, the sound of the Warrior's breaths – harsh and labored, but steady and alive – above him. They were so far from where they belonged, but even here at the edge of the universe, he could open his eyes and, surrounded by those he trusted and cared for, see a soft warm glow echoing across the ceiling, lighting their way until they returned home.