Chapter Text
Chapter One: Sling your way into my heart, Web Daddy
“Can I get a Venti iced mashta green tea, please?” Vienna dug through her purse as she walked up to the register. She had meant to pull out her phone before she got to the front of the line, but as usual, she had gotten distracted.
The Starbucks barista, clearly nervous, probably new, and definitely incredibly underpaid, waited a moment before responding.
“Uh… Do you mean matcha?”
“Sure. Yeah. That. So sorry. Matsha. Machta. Mach-tah.” Vienna fumbled with her phone as she spoke, swiping away notifications as she tried to find the damn Starbucks app.
“Your total is going to be $6.50.”
Vienna paused and actually took a second to look up from her phone at the poor, sweating kid behind the counter.
“Actually, do you have the -like- bigger size? I don’t remember what its- uh… the Trenta?”
“No.” The kid responded before she had even finished asking. Okay, then. He held his hand out for cash, card, or whatever form of payment.
“Oh. O-kay.” She finally got the scanning screen to load on her phone and stuck it up to the red light. He dropped his hand, grabbing a cup instead.
“You can wait over there until your name is called.” The kid almost dropped the cup as he gestured to the small grumbling crowd of customers at the other end of the counter.
“You didn’t ask for-” Vienna was abruptly pushed out of the way by the next customer, “-my name.” Whatever. She hadn’t been in New York for very long, but she was beginning to realize that pretty much everyone was always in a rush.
“No, I needed that report done yesterday.” Some man with a Bluetooth earpiece white-knuckled an iPhone as he practically shouted at whatever poor intern was on the other end of the line. “A rush” might be understating it.
Vienna pushed her way through to the corner of the coffee shop. She clutched her purse tightly to her chest, fumbling around with her phone again. God, if these busy people didn’t make her feel insecure. She could practically feel it, their eyes on her, eyebrows furrowed as if to say, “what the hell are you doing with your life?” It wasn’t what she considered a good time.
When she had first moved to Queens with her college friend, Emery, she had expected day-to-day life to be more glamorous. Writing scripts and pitching shows; coffee and aesthetic New York apartments with character! That dream was smashed the second they walked into their third-floor water closet of an apartment. One stale water droplet to the face and she was resigned to her fate. Hell, at the rate things were going, not even her caffeine addiction would cost as much as her portion of rent.
A different barista called out her name and she pushed her way to the front of the mob to retrieve her fix. It was a miracle, but with only minor jostling and minimal spillage, she was able to escape with her prize. For a brief moment, she debated hailing a cab. One thought about her bank account balance was enough to strike that idea and send her walking.
Again rifling through her purse, this time with the added challenge of drink balancing, she searched out her earbuds. Where the hell were the damn things-
Her bag was ripped from her arm.
“Hey!” She watched, in shock, as a rather beefy stranger ran away with her belongings.
“Hey! Wait, what the-” Vienna started to chase after the purse-snatcher but found herself suddenly shoved forward, falling instead of running.
“What the SHIT?!” She swore as she hit the ground. She landed pretty hard and knew there was no way her knees hadn’t been bruised.
“Sorry!” Some messy-haired guy called over his shoulder before shoving through a clump of pedestrians and disappearing into an alley.
Vienna had been very proud of her outfit when she left her apartment that morning. She had thrifted the ensemble on a spring break trip with Emery in their last year of college. They had been amazed to find the absolutely aesthetic look at the first shop they looked in. The look, as amazing as it was then, was now quite the opposite. She was soaked, thanks to the lanky weirdo who just ruined her chances of catching the jerk who stole her purse.
She pushed herself to her feet, dripping green matcha tea, and thanked the powers that be that she still had her phone in her hand when her purse was stolen. The screen was cracked from her fall, but the device was still functional.
She shoved her sticky, matcha-soaked curls out of her face so that she could type out a text.
“Just got mugged. Omw home. Tell you more when I get back. - V”
Damn. Her keys were in her purse.
“I don’t have keys - V”
She waited for the message to be delivered, then read. Her phone dinged.
“omg thats awful! also no prob. i gotchu b. - E”
She tried to wipe as much of her drink off of her phone screen as possible before sticking it into her pocket. She could feel the stares of people as she walked. A literal child on the street pointed at her. She had had it. Why couldn't people just mind their own lives? She turned to tell him off-
“Spiderman!” The child shouted. Wait what? Sure enough, she caught a glimpse of the red and blue spandex as the hero flung himself through the air above them. Now there was a first. She had yet to have had an encounter with the so-called “friendly neighborhood” superhero. The other pedestrians stopped and cheered as he passed overhead. The second he was out of sight, they continued on with their lives. Vienna guessed that was how it was normally. A brief flash of the hero, a shout of adoration, and then back to the grind. New yorkers and their precious rush.
She was rounding the corner on her block when he dropped down in front of her.
“AH!” Vienna instinctively swung her arm. The palm of her hand connected rather solidly with a spandex covered face.
“Ow.” She couldn’t really say what she had expected the amazing Spiderman to sound like, but it wasn’t that.
She flinched. Did she- She did. Oh no. She definitely did.
“Oh my god, I am so so so sorry.” Alright. The ground could open up and swallow her. She was ready. It was her time.
“Don’t worry about it. I should have been more careful not to startle you, Sorry.” He spoke again. Damn. She really was talking to him. She really had smacked him. Oh god, she had smacked him. Someone needed to snipe her or something before she made any more of a fool of herself. Not to mention she had to be stained in her wasted seven dollars. She could just die.
“So so so so sooo Sorry.” She continued to ramble her apologies, reaching out on impulse to touch his face and make sure all was okay. She caught herself and pulled her hands back, stuffing them into her pockets. Thank the Lord she still had at least a little self control. That day was for sure going down in record as her worst day ever.
“Is this your purse?” Spiderman asked, holding out her bag. What? Oh- OH!
“Yes! Wait, were you stopping the guy that mugged me?” She wanted to smack herself. Of course he had been stopping the guy that mugged her, how else would he have her purse? “Dumb question, sorry. Yes, Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She took her bag from him as she continued babbling.
“No worries. Just doing my job as your friendly neighborhood Spiderman!” He walked backwards, throwing up a peace sign before webbing himself away. Apparently, not even Spiderman was immune to the rush.
Vienna stood, bag in hand, frozen for several minutes. What the hell had just happened? A car horn tore her out of her shock. Tucking the bag securely on her shoulder, she nearly ran the rest of the way to her apartment building.
Her lungs were burning by the time she finally made it to her floor. She paused, trying to catch her breath as she searched for her damn keys. In the back of her mind, she took inventory of what was still in her bag. Surprisingly enough, it didn’t seem like anything was missing. Ah, yes. Keys. There.
She pulled out her keys and shoved the right one into the lock, slamming the door open.
Emery jumped off of their futon.
“I thought you said you didn’t have your keys?” They raised an eyebrow and gestured to the keys Vienna held very clearly in her hand.
“I didn’t. Until like five minutes ago.”
“Explain?”
“I was mugged.”
Emery nodded and closed the front door as Vienna collapsed onto the other side of the futon.
“You texted me that part.”
“Well,” Vienna took a deep breath. “I was on my way back from Starbucks-”
“Oh, is that what you’re soaked in?”
“Shh, I’m explaining. I was on my way back from Starbucks when this Jerk ran by and snatched my purse.” She dropped said purse onto the floor.
“Purse stolen?”
“Yes, purse stolen. And some other guy ran into me and knocked me down. My drink got all over me and I lost the guy who grabbed my bag.” Vienna watched as Emery tried to put together the story in their head.
“But you have your bag now?”
“I’m getting there.” She pushed her hair out of her eyes. “So we saw Spiderman-”
“You saw Spiderman?”
“Emery.”
“Okay, yeah. Sorry. Go on.”
“And I was almost back here when he dropped in front of me and-” Vienna hesitated. “I may have smacked him. But he gave me my purse back! And now I’m home.” Vienna flung her arms out and sunk deeper into the futon. “Thank God.”
“You.. smacked… Spiderman?”
“He dropped in front of me and I was surprised.”
“Vee.”
“Em.”
“You smacked Spiderman.”
Vienna groaned and slid off of the futon. Emery stood over her and leaned down, putting them face to face.
“I did. On accident.”
Emery started laughing. Vienna grabbed the back of their knees and they toppled to the ground next to her, still chuckling.
“It really isn’t funny.”
“Oh, but it really is. I’m surprised you didn’t squeal.”
“I would not squeal, how dare you!” She felt her face getting hot, but couldn’t help laughing along with her friend.
“Oh, but you would. I’m surprised you weren’t just like, ‘oh thank you, dreamy hero. Sling your way into my heart, Web Daddy!’” The high pitched voice Emery used to imitate Vienna sounded nothing like her, and they both knew it. Or, at least, Vienna knew it. She stopped laughing.
“No.”
“Oh come on-” Emery started laughing harder. “I’m teasing, I’m teasing.”
“Web Daddy? You have a problem.”
“Yeah, well. At least I didn’t fucking smack Spiderman.”
“It. Was. An. Accident.”
“Who knows, maybe he liked it.” They turned on their side to look at her. “Maybe he’s just super into getting smacked around and that’s why he does the hero stuff.”
“Emery?”
“Yeah?”
“I hate you.”
Emery laughed harder at that. Vienna shoved them back onto their back.
“In all seriousness, I’m glad that you’re alright.”
Vienna smiled. She knew her friend was just trying to ease the crazy with a little humor. It was one of the things she appreciated most about them. Since they had moved to New York, every day was an adventure. Neither of them ever really knew what to expect and a little humor was just enough to keep them sane through it all. That day had just been particularly out of the ordinary. Semi-sane. She sighed. Emery did too.
“I hope you know you’re in charge of killing all of the spiders in our apartment, now.” Emery pushed themselves off of the floor and offered their hand to her.
“Oh shut up.” She took it and pulled herself to her feet, using the momentum to push her over towards the shelf she kept her clothes on. “I’m going to clean up.” She waited for the hum of acknowledgement from Emery before she grabbed something comfortable and locked herself in the bathroom to change. She cringed as she pulled her sticky clothes off and dropped them to the floor. Matcha to drink? Nice. Matcha to wear? Definitely not so much.
She looked in the mirror and sighed. There was no way she would be able to fix her hair without washing it. But she had washed it just the day before- whatever. It now needed washing again, there was no avoiding it. Giving in to the inevitable, she reached into the shower and turned the knob. There better still have been warm water or she was going to lose the semblance of stability she had regained from her floor chat with Emery. But no, that was too much to ask for.
She swore under her breath as she stepped into the ice-cold stream of water. Her muscles tensed and shook as she washed the drink out of her hair. Even after she got out of the shower, she was shaking. She pulled on her leggings and then sweatshirt. She frowned. Of course she had to have grabbed the “I LOVE SPIDEY!” sweatshirt that Emery had jokingly gifted her when they moved in.
Exiting the bathroom, she grabbed her laptop off of the kitchen counter and made her way over to her mattress in the corner of the apartment. She opened a new document and watched the little text bar blink for a minute or two before sighing and opening her web browser instead. The news site automatically popped up first.
There it was, just under an article about NYC's "most eligible bachelor," Harry Osborn, running for State senate: “SPIDERMAN STOPS SERIAL PURSE THIEF.” An article posted 15 minutes ago.
“Are you kidding me?” Despite her better judgement, she clicked on the article. At the top of the page was a shaky video, probably taken on some kid's phone. She saw herself pushed to the ground by that one tall guy, the kid laughing at her, the camera pan up to see Spiderman as he practically flew by. God, New yorkers were fast. Great. By the looks of it, the video was well on its way to trending. After 15 minutes? Damn people.
She closed the browser. The blinking line still taunted her. If she could just think of an idea, somewhere to start; literally anything that would give her something to think about other than her embarrassment. But no, of course not. She heard Emery watching the same video on the Futon. There was no escape.
“Damn, you weren’t kidding.” Emery looked up from their phone.
Vienna shook her head.
“Too bad they didn’t get the bit where you smacked Web Daddy out of his Spidey Senses.”
“You know what-” Vienna took the pillow she was leaning against and threw it across the room as hard as she could. It hit Emery in the face with a soft thud.
“Hey, save that for Mr.Friendly-Neighborhood.” Emery tossed the pillow back. It landed at her feet and she leaned down to grab it and put it back behind her.
“I’m working.” If she ignored the taunts, maybe they would stop.
“Mmhm yeah, working.”
“Yes.”
“If only I believed you.” Emery stood up to go get their own laptop, shooting a smile in her direction. She rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the small smile she gave in return.
The clicks of Emery’s keyboard began to fill the air, encouraging her to go back to her writing attempt. She looked back to the screen. The line blinked. It blinked again. Okay, so a script wasn’t happening. Re-opening her web browser, she quickly closed the news tab and navigated to her online blog.
“New to York Lesson 12: New Yorkers and their Precious Rush.” She typed in a title and scrolled down to the text box. Yeah, that was the spark she needed to write. Switching into gear, she started writing all about the craziness that had just happened to her. She tried to use her conversation with Emery as inspiration to slip into her writing the comedic tone that her readers so loved. All eight of them. She couldn’t really complain about her lack of readers. She had wanted to keep the author, herself, anonymous and hadn’t told anyone, not even Emery, about it. She was lucky eight people had found it. Besides, less people reading meant less chances of her slipping up and being found out.
Both roommates sat on their beds, writing with focus for the first time in days. Vienna smiled to herself slightly as she wrote.
“I’m heating the kettle. Do you want tea?” Emery groaned as they pushed themself off the futon. Vienna looked up from her screen and rubbed her eyes.
“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great. Thanks.” She stretched her arms over her head and checked her word count. She was at least 1,000 words over what she normally posted. Deciding to stop while she was ahead, Vienna finished the paragraph she was working on and saved her progress. With a quick review to make sure she hadn’t spelled anything wrong or made any obvious grammar faux pas, she posted it.
She closed her laptop and stood up, shuffling over to grab a cup out of the cabinet. As the kettle began to scream, Emery removed it from the burner and poured it over their cup of instant coffee. Vienna grabbed a tea bag and poured water in her own mug, blissfully unaware of the climbing numbers on her blog’s reader count.