Chapter Text
Y/N's POV
I always seem to find myself back here. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself I won’t come back, I always miss the familiarity I have with him. Especially on days like these, when I feel suffocated at home. However, I quickly remember the hell I traded for another hell.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming, Cutie?” Terushima’s back is facing me, yet he recognizes me by the way I open the door of his room.
“Sorry, I just didn’t want to be home right now,” I stay close to the door in case he is in one of his moods and I have to leave fast, or worse, in case he is high from cocaine.
He finishes putting his shirt on and sits on his bed then pats the seat next to him. Slowly, I walk towards him, making sure to examine his face before I continue. His eyes seem normal -not too wide, not too dilated- so, a little more calmed, I do as told and take a seat next to him.
“You don’t have to apologize,” He lightly brushes his lips on my temple and draws little circles on my thighs with the tips of his fingers, “How was your day?” He asks, making sure to make eye contact with me.
I quickly find comfort in his touch and soft kisses. The look on his eyes is as delicate as his tone. Or at least that’s how I see it, how it makes me feel - like a little-stray kitten being snugged.
“Hated it,” I say as I recall the screaming match we had at home. It was an all for all. Dad versus Mom. Me versus Kentaro. Kentaro versus Dad. A whole mess. “Kentaro was out agai-”
“You should hear about my day,” He sights, “It was awful!”
I don’t even get to finish my sentence before realizing Yuji was expecting a simple good, and you? response. A loud exhale leaves my mouth, but I shouldn’t be surprised by his actions.
“What happened?” I ask and give the spotlight to him.
“The teacher failed me!” His eyebrows come together, “He has something against me, I swear!”
“Yeah, definitely,” I play his game even though I’m sure Yuji didn’t even prepare for the test, he probably didn’t even know there was one until he got to the class. But he seems in a good enough mood, and I’m not going to ruin that for something as stupid.
“I know, but thank god you came,” He cups my cheek and kisses my forehead and down until he reaches my lips. His lips brush lightly against mine, “You always make my day better.” He says before pushing his tongue in my mouth and controlling my body completely.
Unlike before, there is no passion, only hunger. Without breaking the kiss, he takes off my clothes- unbuttoned my shirt and slips my underwear off, leaving only my skirt on. He leans closer making my back hit the bed as I attempt to back off. Yuji gets on top of me, his hand next to my head and his knees next to my body, making sure he doesn’t crush me underneath. With his free hand he unbuckles his pants.
“You are beautiful,” He whispers in my ear before I feel the tip of his dick touch the entrance of my vagina.
His lips roam my body for a little longer, kissing my neck and chest, leaving marks all over me. I know better than to think this is a form to pleassure me, it is to mark me and let others know, I already have someone to fuck me. And although it should bother me, I like people knowing Yuji and are together.
So when his lips suck on my skin, my lips part a little, a blow of air going in and out, letting him know to keep going. To leave those purple marks like tattoos imprinted on me, just like the * The First Letter of Your Name * on the back of his ear- that too a proof of the attraction we feel towards each other.
Once he is done, he goes back to my mouth. A rough kiss that he dominates with me barely even moving my lips nor tongue.
Without a warning, he slides his dick in, making me break the kiss as a half-moan-half-scream escapes my lips, “Fuck~”
That makes him smirk.
He doesn’t wait for the pain to ease away, instead, he begins to thrust. The rubbing against my pussy feels like sandpaper. I have to spit on my fingertips and rub it on his dick to lubricate the area and for what’s supposed to feel pleasurable come close to bearable.
His head lays on my chest, his breathing hot against my bare skin.
And when he whispers, the warmness of his breath makes every inch of my body shiver.
“You are mine,” His breathy words make the echoing of our slamming bodies disappear, “Mine… mine…” He slides his tongue on my chest, makes a trail of wet kisses up to my shoulder.
It makes my body relax a bit and fall into the beat of the moment. However, his thrusting is still too harsh.
“Slowly, please-” I whisper between a groan he probably confuses with moans because he does quite the opposite. And when I place my hands on his shoulder to try and push him away, he grabs my wrist and pins it to the bed.
I try to match his breathing, but his inhales and exhales are abnormal and hard to synchronize with.
“You feel so good, cutie,” He says as his head goes back and his eyes come shut, “Oh, fuck~”
As he begins to get tired, he too becomes slower and simultaneously, he begins to hit the right spot.
“Oh, my god, Yuji~” I embrace his body, the nails from my free hand dig into his shoulder as my pussy begins to throb from pleasure.
His breath becomes heavy and his thrusting sloppy. I feel him tense from above and with one last breath, he moans and the hot liquid fills my walls.
He stops afterward, and unconsciously, my hips thrust forwarding, as if asking for more. My inner thigh touch his pelvis, but maybe he doesn’t notice or doesn’t care enough because he pulls out and I feel the creamy liquid spill out of my pussy and slide down my ass.
“Shit,” Yuji whispers as he looks down between our bodies and sees the mess he has made. The growing stain on his boys’ blue bed sheets.
He rolls out of the bed, picks his pants up, and makes his way to the restroom without saying a word.
He comes out from the restroom to find me just where he had left me- with my arms lifting me on the bed and my legs still spread open.
“Here,” He hands me the towel, “I have volleyball practice, so I need to leave. See you later?”
I almost ask what he means by his question, hoping it will give me some clarity. However, I do understand what happened, that’s why I struggle with finding the right words to tell him.
I don’t want to come back here, everything that happened now is probably just going to repeat, but I don’t want to tell him that.
“Uhm, I have plans with my aunt,” I lie, “Maybe tomorrow.”
“Sure, whatever,” He rolls his eyes and leaves without saying goodbye.
I should be the one annoyed, yet I don’t even feel that. Not even when the realization of the situation hits.
I’m a rag doll, the thought flashes through my head, Yuji’s rag doll.
I scan the room, looking for the clothes Yuji threw, but instead, I find myself in the reflection of his mirror.
My body lay on the bed naked with too many purple marks on my body to count. My hair is messy and eyes red from crying- something I hadn’t even realized. My legs are opened to get a glimpse of my vagina splotched with white. And soon every inch he touched begins to burn, a painful sensation that extends anywhere from my sore pussy to wrist.
I quickly pull my skirt down, dry my wet cheeks, and stand up to grab my clothes but my eyes never leave my reflection, she looks like a stranger. She looks disgusting and pathetic, and it makes me hag. However, she is no stranger, that is the person I have become and it makes me hate myself even more. I let this happen, I let him use me like this.
My legs struggle to keep me standing, and soon I find myself on the floor with my head buried between my knees as fat-hot tears begin to stream down my face freely. This time I do notice, I do notice the pain.
It doesn’t matter how much I try to hide from myself- even if I look away from that mirror -I am still living inside of that body whose image has been engraved into my mind and the little marks left behind feel like curses.
He does own me.
***
It was never hard for me to get along with people. I was good at making others hear what they wanted to in order for them to consider me their friend. However, I wouldn’t necessarily call them friends. I didn’t trust them, they are merely bodies to keep me safe from my insecurities. Sometimes it didn’t matter how many people I surrounded myself with, I felt lonely. So lonely it hurt.
My only real friend was my brother. Well, that was true until he started high school and distanced himself from everyone. That was the difference between the two: I found comfort in others while he was better off alone. It wasn’t always like this though, there was a time where the two of us were inseparable and could make everyone around us smile. I thought that if he joined volleyball and started doing something he loved, he would go back to his old self. However, it seems like the club only became another burden to him. And just like that, we drifted apart, only talking when we had something to scream about.
I sat in my usual spot: all the way to the back of the classroom with all the attention in the world. Everyone’s desk was around mine as they listened to another of my stories.
My hands fly to the air as I recite what had happened that night. There is a huge smile plastered on everyone’s faces as they sit on the edge of their seat waiting to hear what happens next. Their eyes shimmering from excitement while looking at me.
I enjoy this. It was times like these where I forgot how alone I was.
“Okay! Enough!” The teacher enters the class. Her eyes as dead as her soul. Can’t blame her though, if I had to deal with kids for a living I would also look like that. She scans the classroom as everyone moves their desks to their respective places, her eyes stop on me and she lifts a finger, “Take a seat there.”
I blink a couple of times in confusion. Is she talking to me?
It takes me a second to realize the girl next to her. A brunette girl with dark eyes who can’t be taller than a hundred and sixty centimeters. I am pretty familiar with every student in this school, I would remember someone with a darker complexion and different ethnic features.
“This is Sato Camila,” The teachers explains as if she can read my mind, “She just transferred from Tokyo, so make her feel welcome.”
Everyone stares at the new girl, makes sure to memorize every feature so they can later talk about it to their friends. The foreign eyes seem to make her nervous, for she stands awkwardly with her hands behind her back. Her small frame is cute, as cute as the red bows in her hair and the pink-shimmering gloss in her lips.
“Go on,” The teacher touches her shoulder and shows her her seat with the other hand in front of her.
Slowly, and a bit embarrassed, the girl walks towards me. She smiles at me warmly before letting her pink backpack fall on the ground and sits next to me.
“My mom is Argentinian,” She tells me when she catches me staring.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to stare,” I quickly make eye contact with her caramel pair and shake it off with a smile, “You just stand out.”
“No, I understand,” She laughs, “I’m kinda used to it.”
Doesn’t seem like it, because despite her efforts to cover up how she really feels, I know she must hate the stares and the rude comments that accompany them. My actions ashame me a bit, a sorry stays stuck in my throat.
Her curly hair tangles between her finger and her eyes wander around the room before she gains the courage to speak again, “Hey, would you mind showing me the male’s volleyball gym?”
“Male’s volleyball gym?” I hear her clearly, yet the words leave my mouth. The last time I was there was with Kentaro. When we used to get along, I would meet him outside of the gym to walk home together.
“Uhm, this guy asked me if I wanted to be the manager,” She says as she recalls what happened- I notice a small smile creep out, “He was really cute so I couldn’t say no.”
“I would be careful with the volleyball guys,” I roll my eyes when the image of them comes to mind. A bunch of assholes if you ask me.
“A quick tap doesn’t hurt anyone,” She says devilishly opposite to her sweet appearance.
“Girl, I swear-”
“Ladies!” The teacher lets go of the thick book catching everyone’s attention as it slams against her desk. Even the kid in front of me who was taking a nap stands up straight, “Are you done?”
“Sorry,” Sato stands up and bows down as she apologizes.
She gives me a quick glare. Is she scolding me?
My eyes open wide at the thought. Not even my mom scolds me.
Her head does a quick tilt telling me to mimic her actions.
I think it’s because of the sudden confusion that I stand up and bow asking for the teacher’s forgiveness.
“My bad,” I say as I do it.
I feel the students’ eyes on me as I tilt my head. When was the last time I did this?
They are probably as confused as I am.
“Sit,” She dismisses us and we do as told.
As soon as the teacher goes back to writing on the board, I snap my head to stare at the girl. How?
How did she do that?
“Something wrong-” She taps the pencil on her mouth before turning to look at me, “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”
“Y/N… Kyoutani Y/N.”
Hanamaki turns around with his sleepy eyes and devilish smile, “We call her Little Mad Dog.”
“Kentaro is younger than me, you do realize that?” I flick his forehead.
“Ouch!” He laughs as he massages the red spot stop I left behind and turns back around once he has done his damage.
“No one calls me that, trust me,” I quickly tell Sato, “Stupid Oikawa calls my little brother Mad Dog, Hanamaki just likes to tease me.”
Sato covers her mouth, in an attempt to suppress her laugh but I still see the corner of her lips curl.
“Oh, come on, look what you’ve done, Hamaki,” I lightly punch his curled back.
“No, I think it’s cute,” She says, “I see why it fits now.”
“Hey! I’m not usually like this,” I defend myself, “He just likes to push my but-”
“Kyoutani! Sato!” The teacher stops in front of us and lifts a finger in the air, “I gave you one warning.”
Sato stiffens at the sound of her name. However, my face morphs into an annoyed look without thinking about it.
“Kyoutani, you should know there is no such thing as a second warning in my class,” She says, “You two, detention after school.”
“But I have-”
“Please,” She places her hand in front of Sato, “Don’t make me make it two days.”
Her mouth stays hanging for a second before closing it.
“Now, as I was saying-” Her voice trails off as she walks away.
I turn to look at Sato, she looks genuinely upset. Either she has never gotten in trouble or she really wants to be the manager of that stupid team. When Kentaro started playing, I was the manager. I only lasted there a couple months before Kentaro’s and my fights became unbearable for the two of us and the team.
I couldn’t tell you what the class was about even if my life depended on it, but that was mainly because I was catching up on sleep. I didn’t talk to Sato after the teacher told us shit for it. To be honest, I couldn’t give two craps about what she had to say, however, Sato seemed genuinely upset, so I stopped bothering her.
The last bell rang, waking me up from my nap.
I got my bag and threw it over my shoulder. I would have forgotten everything about detention if it hadn’t been for Sato.
“Hey, where is detention?” She innocently asks.
I thought we weren’t going.
“Uhm,” I scratch the back of my head, “I guess we can walk there together.”
It doesn’t take us long to reach the detention room. My legs take us there like they have done it hundreds of times, I don’t even have to think much about it, it’s all muscle memory.
“Been a long time Kyoutani-Chan!” Suzuki-Senpai laughs from her desk, “How long has it been? A month since your last detention?”
I shrug at her question as I take a bottle from my backpack and put it on her desk, “I think three weeks.”
My mom and her are close friends, so she always sends her a cup of tea. I sometimes drink it, unless I know I’m going to be sent to detention.
“Whatchu in here for, kiddo?” She takes a sip of the tea.
“It’s always the same old rag,” I tell her as I take a seat in front of her desk next to Sato, “For talking.”
“I see you brought some company this time,” She stares at Sato, “I’ll advise you to stay away from Kyoutani, she is bad news delivered on a silver plate.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment, Suzuki-Senpai.”
“Ha! Girl, you know that-” Before she can continue, the doors of the room slam open and two people walk inside.
“Oh! Come on Iwa!” The boy nags as he enters and looks behind him. That voice is hard to forget- Oikawa Tooru. And right behind him, his partner in crime- Iwaizumi Hajime.
“We wouldn’t be here if you weren’t so stupid!”
“Hey! I wasn’t the one who hit me!”
“You deserved it!”
“Hey! Hey!” Sukuzi-Senpai quickly puts an end to their argument, “Take a seat and shut it!”
Both of them take a seat two rows behind us. I never understood their dynamic. Every conversation they sare seems to be an argument or a fight, yet they seem to be glues by the hip. It seems pretty toxic but I shouldn’t be the one expressing those type of thoughts, after all, I’m no different than the pair.
“Well, well, look who we have here, Iwa,” Oikawa smiles, “If it isn't our old Little Mad Dog.”
My relationship with Oikawa has been rocky to say the least. When we were kids, we were close. When I say kids I mean up to when we were like seven. A lot of things have happened since then, now, we are like strangers. When I was their manager, I didn’t really talk to him either.
I ignore the stupid nickname and redirect the attention to him, “So what’s the precious captain doing here?”
“Iwa and I had a little tiny argument,” His fingers curl except for the thumb and index that are held close to each other without touching, “And you? Who did you hit this time? Aggressiveness comes from family as I’ve seen.”
I had a little incident at school once. A girl was talking trash about Kentaro- calling him a druggie with no future -it led to a discussion which led to me slamming a book in her head. That earned me two weeks of suspension but it was worth it. Kentaro can be a lot of things, he can be overly aggressive and sometimes a little violent, but he isn’t a druggie… That title is someone else’s.
“I didn’t hit anyone,” I roll my eyes and turn to face the front, “And if you must know, I’m not aggressive. At least not like you with your passive aggressive comments, Oikawa.”
That last comment makes him quiet.
Sato seems surprise, she is getting a taste of the person I am. Maybe Suzuki-Senpai’s advice wasn’t as bad as I thought.
“Kyoutani-San, that’s the guy that asked me to be the manager,” She leans in and whispers.
I take a quick glance at the only two boys in the room. I know who asked her, who else could it have been? Yet I still have to ask.
“The one with the black hair?”
“No,” She responds, “The one with brown hair. Oikawa-Kun.”
Great.
To be honest, I don’t understand what’s so great about him to have every girl wrapped around his finger. He is just better looking than the average person. Even though he can get on my nerves, I wouldn’t say he is a bad person and if you can put up with his personality, go for it. Sato did say it was just for a quickie.
Oikawa can basically have any girl he wants to, yet he holds himself back. I mean, he does fuck around with a handfull of girls but not with as many as he could. Or maybe it’s just Iwaizumi holding him back, protecting him from STDs and unwanted pregnancies, who knows.
The way Sato stares at Oikawa though, I don’t think she just wants a one time thing.
“I should be in practice right now,” Oikawa wines like a little boy, “I’m the captain, I should be there!” He pouts.
“Quit it, Oikawa,” I hear Iwaizumi slap the back of his head, “What are you? A ten year old?”
Read my mind.
Before the boys can continue arguing, Suzuki-Senpai’s snores get everyone’s attention, making us stare at her in awe more than anything.
That was fast, she must have been exhausted.
I can’t make Sato do something she isn’t comfortable with doing. It’s obvious she won’t follow me to break the rules on purpose considering how nervous she was when the teacher gave us detention. So I don’t say anything and just stand up from my seat with my backpack already on. I’ve been waiting for this.
I walk towards the window and open it. Thank god the detention room is on the first floor.
“Hey! Little Mad Dog, what are you doing?” Oikawa asks from his seat.
“What does it look like I'm doing? I’m leaving,” I sit on the window, one leg outside and one in, “And quit it with the nickname, would ya?”
“You can’t leave, what if she wakes up?” Sato looks concerned.
“She won’t.” Is all I say without having to explain that the melatonin in her tea will keep her asleep for the next three hours or so.
“You sound too sure,” Iwaizumi comments.
“Well what can I say, I’ve spent a lot of days here to know she won’t wake up,” I say. Technically it’s not a lie.
The three of them share a quick glance. Neither of them want to stay here, but they aren’t the type to go breaking the rules. They are a bunch of cookie cutters.
“Well, in Kyoutani-Chan we trust,” Oikawa grabs his bag and walks towards me waiting for me to get out so he can follow my steps.
He smiles as he stares down on me. That smile. There is something about it that makes me uneasy.
I feel his cold fingertips on my thigh where the skirt doesn’t cover, but before I can say anything, he says, “Cover up, Little Mad Dog, you wouldn’t want those fresh wounds to show.”
My eyes go wide and my hand automatically slaps his hand away from me without making too much of a fuss.
“I’m leaving,” I say and jump out the window without looking back. I don’t care if they follow me or not. Right now I’m more concerned about what Oikawa saw, more importantly, on what he will do with that information. My hands make their way to where the cuts are- wounds left behind by my own hands -and make sure that they are not exposed.
I need to get some tights.