Work Text:
What in God's Name do I do with that?
Someone please tell me how I should react?
A confusing attempt at some reparations
A "Josh Lyman" apology for his sharp observations
Couldn't leave without sanction from the Deputy Downer
But the banter became an unpleasant encounter
My terrible sense as an eternal optimist
To agree to a date with an insurance lobbyist
We had vibes that were good, but mostly aesthetic
Your jibes an attempt to make me pathetic
Seemingly trying to ruin my dinner
With a last minute ‘meeting’ with Congressman Skinner
No time for much fun with only an hour
A cold bowl of soup chasing two whiskey sours
Then dare to declare “You look great in that dress”
Inciting desires aggressively suppressed
Have you any idea what’s gonna happen now?
Head to bed on a drink, and overthink how
I should have had a good night out with Todd
A nice guy with blue eyes, well dressed, steady job
Yet all through the date what I thought of was you
The crap that you said to me. You have no clue
Do you realise how much your words are hurting?
Can you tell when they’re harsh or just ‘harmless flirting’?
The difference for me is exactly the same
Replaying intimations, again and again
A touch, a glance, a lingering look
An intimate dedication in an antique book
Remembering back to when it was just us
Awake in the darkness in the old campaign bus
Huddled up under the overhead light
We talked about everything, night after night
Complex conversations about legislations
Excited explanations of changing the nation
Campaign phone calls that were shockingly heated
(Words that cannot be politely repeated)
Where others had failed, you'd already succeeded
Energetically infectious, undeterred, undefeated
Somewhere along the way, in those early days
Something changed, but the ‘when gets lost in the haze
Time worn memories, it’s hard to find reality
When remembering is tainted by a fanciful fantasy
I do remember though, that to me, you were wonderful
I did everything I could to make myself valuable
You ignored my education, just saw the potential
The reward was experience which made me essential
Of course your dark horse won the party nomination
The historic win led to the Bartlet Administration
Life is very different living here in Washington
People choose you and use you for what you get done
For some it’s not lost that my most attractive feature
Is my primary role as ‘Josh Lyman’s Gatekeeper’
Become nothing more than a sum of connections
Makes it so hard to find genuine affections
Dating is arduous when we live to serve
You just fall sideways into women you don’t deserve
They are brilliant and beautiful, alluring with ambition
Who push their own agendas, but abuse your position
Luckily for you they give up pretty soon
They move on and they’re gone, and then you move on too
And luckily for me, I don’t have to see
You being enamoured too regularly
But I’m not immune to rumours in the corridor
Hallways of here-say, I’ve heard it before
From blatant speculations through to lewd accusations
Veiled suggestions of amorous intentions.
Some eyebrows were raised when I became your home nurse,
But couldn’t stand back with you stricken and hurt
You needed someone, and it could have been worse
Just idiots so eager to make it perverse
And it wouldn’t even matter if we wanted to be together
A ‘real’ relationship would be subject to conjecture
People would wonder, there would always be suspicion
“Just how DID she get herself a White House position?”
You’d get a few looks, a wink or a smirk
Then business as usual, get straight back to work
You’d keep your position, because no one would laugh
At Leo McGarry’s Deputy Chief of Staff
The ‘Washington Boy Wonder’, ‘One of a Kind’
A ‘Once in a Generation Political Mind’
Yes, you’d be fine. But me on the other hand
Dismissed with a pink slip and no leg to stand
Prospects dry up, no professional integrity
Never again be your ‘Deputy Deputy’
And it wouldn’t even matter how good we could be
Things rarely survive such intense scrutiny
No way I could stay, I wouldn’t survive
The gossip and tabloids would eat me alive
For all the wrong reasons people would know my name
Retreat to Wisconsin with my head hung in shame
My mother and father would gleefully claim
“The leopard couldn’t change, see her spots are the same”
It’s happened before so it’s no great surprise
Since I find myself attracted to the same type of guys
Passionate and driven, focussed with vision
Men who seek forgiveness instead of asking permission
Intelligent, confident, somewhat egotistic
Full of charm, strong forearms and antagonistic
I see in your eyes, you get such a thrill
When the throat is exposed and you go for the kill
It’s what makes you good. It makes you effective.
But I don’t want to have that ruthless perspective
I like to be nice and prefer to believe
That people are good, though some think it’s naive
And it isn’t a weakness to want to find love
To want something special to be a part of
I need to have more than career in my life
Doesn’t mean I’ll amount to a cheap trophy wife
But somehow it makes me seem less in your eyes
Use it against me to judge and criticise
Your body is strong now, you say that you’re fine
But you’re putting your friends in the firing line
I see you getting tired, see you getting stressed
Don’t think for a second I don’t feel your distress
We all learned a new level of fear that night
When some faceless racist put your life in the gunsight
I ran all the reds, I wasted no time
Toby said you were hit and I stayed by your side
Through the long moment of waiting and hoping
Chest lay wide open while they fixed what was broken
Traumatic to see you assaulted and bandaged
Cautiously watching you heal through the damage
We’ll always be here for you, doing our best
To pray you’re OK and go home for some rest
So I'll put aside anything I might want
Just be your assistant, your friend, your confidant
Try to put an end to the school girl dreams
Try to get over you by any ways and means
Stop with this fairytale, try to resist
A romantic ideal that doesn’t exist
There won’t ever be any grand declaration
No whisking away for a romantic vacation
I’ll continue to search for a man to date
To distract from the fact you don’t reciprocate
Then when I find him I’ll go out to dine with him
Perhaps take him home and have a good time with him
And time will go on, you can work if you’d rather
But I’ll take my chances, there are Rosebuds to Gather!
I refuse to be the secretary who falls for her boss.
But.
I’ll always be Donna who’s in love with Josh.