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The pink flurry of ladybugs swept across the city when the lucky charm was up in the sky, leaving behind a multitude of smiles as Parisians watched the bright swirl restore the city. Marinette smiled in anticipation as they enveloped her in warmth and magic to alleviate the exhaustion in her muscles.
She padded towards the edge of the rooftop to see a sheepish Mr. Ramier’s wave as his pigeons cooed and fluttered around him. She muffled her giggles with a hand and waved back at him.
A loud groan behind her caught her attention, and she turned to see Chat Noir sprawled on the rooftop with an arm draped over his eyes. She rolled her eyes at his antics and walked towards him.
“Such a grumpy cat,” she teased.
He huffed in annoyance and moved his arm down his face to stare blearily at her.
“You’d think a superhero wouldn’t have to deal with such silly allergies,” he mumbled.
She bent down to extend her hand to him and her lips twitched, holding back a fond smile at his confused head tilt.
He blinked a few times before smiling tiredly at her and reaching for her hand to pull himself up to stand.
“You okay?” she questioned softly.
“I’m pretty tired, to be honest.”
To emphasize his point, he let out a loud yawn and sleepily rubbed his fists against his eyes. Her heart stuttered at the endearing gesture. She knew she was staring at him, staring for far longer than was deemed normal. But her eyes continued to catalog every microexpression. The slight furrow of his right brow, the way his lips were in a slight (adorable) pout, and the way one of his eyes had a slight crinkle of mirth. He blinked slowly and deliberately, as if relishing the warm rays of the sunset that made his eyes shine and his skin glow. It was almost irritating how beautiful he looked.
And oh, how he tested her patience.
Sometimes, all she wanted to do was ignore his outstretched fist after a battle and wrap her arms around his neck instead. His broad shoulders beckoned her, and every day it was harder to resist the impulse to seek the warmth of his arms that she knew would melt away all her post-akuma tension. But Ladybug is nothing if not professional, so she had to wait until she ditched the spots to be closer to him.
Marinette and Chat Noir were now engaged in an awkward, endearing dance filled with blushing and shy glances. They never addressed the fact that she had kissed him once, and instead opted for racing hearts and wide eyes whenever their hands accidentally brushed.
She hated how restless she became to detransform. She hated that she never knew for sure if he would visit her balcony and yet, she still made an effort to always fix her appearance and keep blankets on the roof, just in case. Most of all, she hated that those things didn’t really bother her when it might result in his pink cheeks and sparkling eyes. His very green eyes–
“-ug?”
Marinette blinked rapidly at him, finally realizing that he had been speaking to her the whole time. She suddenly became aware of the slight chill on her lips. How long had her mouth been hanging open for? That’s not cute!
She shook her head and smiled apologetically.
“What?”
He grinned at her before stepping closer, her breath hitching in the process. She swallowed nervously as he bent down a bit, and swallowed again in disappointment when he didn’t come even closer. Instead, he brought a hand up to brush her fringe away from her face, and lightly tapped her forehead.
“What’s on your mind, little bug?”
She suppressed a shudder as a fierce wave of warmth made its way from her spine to the back of her ears and cheeks. She ignored the rising panic of her frantic thoughts and focused on the flecks of lime green in Chat’s feline eyes, drawing comfort and strength from his patient gaze.
“Just tired,” she mumbled.
Her earrings beeped just then, and they both took a step back.
“As much as I like to stay out as Chat Noir when I haven’t used my cataclysm–” Chat Noir began while rubbing the back of his neck, “–I should probably head home. Maybe take a cat nap.”
As he turned to walk towards the other side of the rooftop, she couldn’t help but feel a tug in her chest. One that compelled her to step towards him and stay close.
She absentmindedly waved at him when he turned around to say goodbye. Now that she didn’t feel the burn of his gaze, she was safe to finally delve into her frantic thoughts. She didn’t want to think about it when Chat Noir leaned towards her, but it was undeniable.
She had never blushed like that around him before. She had usually felt her cheeks warm in embarrassment and when adrenaline filled her veins. But she could feel the blood rush to her face and she could almost hear the rhythm of her dancing heartbeat in her ears. She felt a slight buzzing in her neck that left her feeling exposed and vulnerable to his earnest gaze, all while her scalp tingled with the exhilaration of his proximity. How many times had she ever truly blushed like that?
Only once, her mind whispered.
One day in the rain, with a black umbrella extended towards her and kind green eyes that were all too willing to give without expecting anything in return. The day when it all began.
Oh.
“Wait!”
Chat’s black ears twitched and he lowered his baton as he turned back towards her. He was waiting for an explanation, but her tongue suddenly felt heavy in her mouth.
She really hadn’t thought this through. It became even more apparent when her earrings beeped in warning again. Her hand shot up to her ears and she drummed her fingers against her ear and temple.
“Just- can you just give me one second? I’m going to feed Tikki really quick!”
She ran towards the door she saw on the roof before he could question her, and wrenched open the door. She let it slam closed behind her, and saw an empty stairwell leading down towards the apartments below. She reached out for the doorknob behind her on instinct, but shakily retracted her hand. She trusted Chat Noir, and she knew he would keep her identity safe.
“Spots off,” she sighed.
Tikki flew into her cupped hands, and happily reached for the macaroon Marinette presented her. She looked up at Marinette expectantly as she chewed, and Marinette bit her lip in thought.
“Tikki, what do I have to do to position the yoyo string the way I want it?”
Tikki swallowed her treat before tapping her little chin in thought.
“It should be able to do whatever you want it to when you fling it. What did you have in mind?”
“You’ll see,” Marinette giggled before kissing Tikki’s head and transforming again.
She reached for the doorknob but froze when she realized her hand was trembling. It would be okay; she trusted Chat Noir with her life and knew she was safe with him.
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and yanked open the door.
“I have an idea, if you want to relax a bit before going home,” she said as she approached him.
She held her hand out and jerked her chin towards the baton he was tapping his fingers against. He squinted at her curiously, and wordlessly handed it over. She scowled at the contraption as her hands fiddled with the surprisingly light metal before finally twisting the staff and separating it into two separate halves. She set down one half of the baton on the edge of the rooftop, tugging on it where it stood to make sure it wouldn’t budge, and repeated the process on the opposite side of the rooftop. She flung her yoyo out, imagining a tight weave of string interconnecting and smiling with excitement when her vision came to life.
“A hammock?”
She turned towards Chat Noir’s questioning gaze and nodded enthusiastically.
“Yeah! I- well, if you didn’t want to go home just yet, we could… hang out? For a little bit? If you want to,” she whispered.
Just because she could hear the pleading tone that left her lips didn’t mean he could too, right?
But it seemed her kitty was much more enthralled with the new rooftop hammock, as he ran towards the yoyo string and flung himself onto the net. His limbs were sprawled like a starfish, taking up as much space as he could while his momentum rocked him from side to side.
She smirked as she walked over and plopped herself on top of him, her back draped across his shoulders as she muffled her laughter with her hands when he groaned and tried to wiggle away. He stopped moving after a few moments and she felt his muscles relax underneath her as he settled in.
There was something about feeling the warmth of his back beneath hers that soothed her troubled heart. As much as she relished it, however, she quickly became overwhelmed with the prolonged touch and the increasing tempo of her heart beat. She scrambled off the hammock with a huff and nudged Chat with her hand. He quickly took the hint and rolled over to make space for her next to him.
Side by side, their arms were pressed against each other’s. The urge to grab his hand and interlace their fingers the way she sometimes did as Marinette tickled her fingertips, and she considered the repercussions of just having her hand on top of his palm when he moved his hands underneath the nape of his neck to cushion his head.
“Why haven’t we done this before?” he asked.
Because I never knew I needed this , her mind lamented. She couldn’t tell him that though. Maybe just Tikki. And the other kwamis, if they’re nosy.
“I’m glad the yoyo cooperated,” she replied instead.
He nodded eagerly and opened his mouth to say something, but his voice was cut off by a boisterous sneeze that rocked the hammock.
“Any chance your yoyo could also carry allergy medication, just in case?”
She giggled at his sheepish expression and tilted her head down to peer at him through her lashes.
“ Paw ssibly kitty-cat.”
It shouldn’t have been so easy for his smile to destroy her. It was just a silly pun! But it seemed the sunshine smile she was rewarded with had the power to break her heart within seconds, and his laugh was the only thing capable of putting it back together again just as quickly.
“Never have I ever,” she prompted. She could reflect on the effect he had on her later. For now, she was Ladybug, and she was going to make the most of her time with her kitty because she didn’t know when she’d have this opportunity again. She could only hope he would be as transparent with Ladybug as he was with Marinette.
“Bug, isn’t that a drinking game?”
“Well,” she trailed off. Maybe she could use some liquid courage right about now.
“Next time,” he winked.
“Two truths and a lie, then.”
He tapped his chin in thought, lost in thought for a few moments.
“Okay. I find coloring therapeutic–” he paused to roll onto his back and gaze at the sky, “– my favorite color is blue, and I had never lounged on a hammock before today.”
“Easy,” Marinette dismissed with a wave of her hand. “Your favorite color is green.”
Chat’s lips slowly pulled up into a smirk, and he shook his finger in front of her face.
“Tsk tsk, spoke too soon, Bug. My favorite color is blue.”
“It reminds me of someone really special,” he whispered reverently.
Pink bloomed at his cheeks, but before she had time to wonder who he could possibly speak about with such a loving inflection, he cleared his throat obnoxiously before speaking again.
“Coloring is stressful ,” he whined.
“What? How? Children do it all the time!”
“Okay but they don’t even do it well !” he retorted indignantly. “You have to stay inside the lines, otherwise it looks disgusting. So you have to trace inside the lines to make sure it’s perfect, and it’s so frustrating when you mess up! Just like cutting!”
She couldn’t help her scoff of incredulity, and she most definitely couldn’t help the soft smile that tugged at her lips when he pouted at her.
Oh, her kitty really was adorable.
“It’s not that hard Chat Noir,” she drawled. “We literally do harder things almost every day, like fight literal super villains.”
He rolled his eyes and mumbled a grumpy “it’s your turn.’
She rolled her eyes in turn at his obvious attempt to change the conversation.
“Well, I love drawing, I’m a good dancer, and…” Oh, he’ll get a kick out of this one. “...I once stole a phone.”
His cat ear twitched towards her at that and he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye skeptically before waving his hand dismissively.
“You? Ladybug. Steal a phone? There’s no way.”
She pursed her lips and scrunched up her nose, too embarrassed to have to admit to that out loud .
“Sneaky bug,” he whispered in shock.
She sniffed and cut him off before he could ask any follow up questions.
“I suck at dancing.”
He hummed in thought before swinging a leg over the side of the hammock and standing up on the rooftop. She turned her face towards him in confusion, lifting an eyebrow at his eager gaze.
“I highly doubt that m’lady,” he quipped, extending a hand towards her.
Did-
Did he want to dance ? With her?
She might need a minute. An hour would probably be best for the amount of internal screaming going on in her head at the moment, but it seemed her body had a mind of its own when she registered her spotted hand already in his.
She scooted her way towards him and used his hand to pull herself up to stand again. Once she was standing in front of him, she shifted awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed. But it seemed her kitty always knew what to do when she was unsure, and swept into a dramatic bow. He grinned at her soft laughter, and offered both his hands for her to take.
Without a second thought, she placed her hands in his and gave him a shy smile when he placed her left hand on his shoulder and lightly gripped her right hand against his chest, where she felt the reassuring beating of his heart.
The urge to draw him closer and rest her head in the crook of his neck was overwhelming, but it frightened her to think how much she craved that closeness now. So instead of closing the wretched distance, she looked down at her feet and took extra care in not embarrassing herself and stepping on his toes.
“Milady, you won’t enjoy yourself if you’re looking down at your feet all the time.”
She huffed in annoyance and blew at her fringe on her forehead. Why did he have to make sense? So instead of focusing on the awkward shuffling of her feet, she focused on the warmth of his body, shielding her from the cool breeze that swept through.
She glanced up at the sky and was surprised to find the sun gone, covered up by dark gray clouds that promised rain. Well, she mused as she let her head fall against the crook of his neck. A little rain never hurt anyone.
They swayed from side to side, wrapped up in each other’s comforting presence. The crescendo of their heart beats and the serendipitous harmony of their thoughts played softly in tune with their footsteps.
And just like that, they were dancing. She didn’t even need to think about how she moved, she just had to close her eyes and trust that somehow, her body would fall into step with his. Their almost spiritual synchronization was the one thing she could always rely on, no matter what. She would never not be grateful for such a beautiful connection with her partner, her kitty.
“Chat Noir?” she whispered, afraid to ruin the beautiful moment they were living in.
He hummed in response and she took a deep breath to steel herself.
“Thank you for always showing me the best parts of me, even when I’m stupidly clumsy and can’t see them for myself.”
Chat chuckled, suddenly tightening his hold on her waist and hoisting her up. She squealed in shock (and maybe in delight) as he spun them around and around, laughing as they became more dizzy.
“I know very well that you are clumsy sometimes, Bug. But you always manage to jump back into action whenever you stumble. There’s a special kind of grace to getting back up when you fall, never forget that.”
He leaned forward to gently set her down, but their unsteady feet made them stumble ridiculously until they stumbled back onto the makeshift hammock in a heap of tangled limbs and hysterical laughter. It had been so long since they laughed together like this, she just wanted to bottle up their melodious laughter and save it for every moment she needed a pick-me up. Once their laughter died down, he shuffled around on the hammock until his cheek rested against the top of her head.
“See bug?” he asked, nuzzling her hair softly. “That was perfect. Just as graceful as when you kick akuma butt.”
What she wanted to respond with was a laugh or a quip about having the perfect partner, but it seemed the darkening sky and intimate atmosphere inspired deeper thoughts in her.
“Everything looks perfect from far away,” she whispered. She froze, her anxious breathing feeling unnatural. Was she breathing too loud? Was she deathly silent? Why did it feel like she was holding her breath when she inhaled? Why did it feel like she was panting if she breathed the way she wanted to? What kind of response was she even looking for? Did she want him to agree with her, or did she have hope he’d say something that bolstered her confidence and faith?
She waited with bated breath as she heard Chat Noir hum pensively and cup his cheek with one hand.
“True,” he whispered. “That’s why we have to get closer, to appreciate how real something is, don’t you think?”
And just like that, he left her speechless. There was a fine line between appreciating her partner and loving him, and it seemed it only took a few wise words to make the line even more natural to breach. The walls she built around everything labeled Chat Noir were crumbling away quickly, and she was helpless to do anything other than wait for the moment his puns and laughter cataclysmed her defenses for good.
But even though she knew how much they meant to each other, she still had her doubts.
“Flaws and all?”
He answered without hesitation. “Flaws and all.”
ooOoo
Marinette had never had to make such an excruciating effort to swing away from a rooftop. Every toss of her yoyo pulled her closer to home while some invisible line tugged her back to where she had the best sleep of her life.
They had fallen asleep for an hour or so on the hammock, and the thought of her sleepy kitty quietly trilling in her ear while he was asleep…
Well, no one could blame Marinette for squealing to herself at how adorable it was, right? Right.
Her heart could burst with how content she felt on that rooftop. But the happy dream is over, and now she must face her reality. A horrible reality, really, filled with homework and chores.
Well, maybe not the chores, since she did think better with a clean space. But that could wait for a few moments while she relished the fresh pricks of water droplets the breeze carried.
She finally swung up on her roof, and detransformed as soon as her pink flats hit the balcony. She kept her gaze towards the Seine, it’s soft whoosh clear above the minimal on the streets. It soothes her as her chest swirled with unaddressed emotions.
“Is everything okay Marinette?”
She eyed Tikki from the corner of her eye and smiled reassuringly.
“Yes Tikki, I just want to enjoy the moment. Why don’t you go inside and grab the macarons I made this morning for you? They’re on my desk.”
At the mention of sweets, her little face lit up. She hugged Marinette’s cheek and flitted off to indulge.
She took a deep breath, and her hand unconsciously came to press against her frantic heart, as if to stop its hammering by mere touch. The water droplets danced in the breeze and cooled her cheeks. She was sure they were still burning red after their cute moment — well, the entirety of the last few hours were cute, but Marinette wasn’t keeping count.
She stirred awake, but was far too comfortable and warm to bother opening her eyes. She smiled contentedly, knowing she couldn’t be safer anywhere else in the world than right next to her partner.
She shuffled closer to her source of comfort. If anything, she could claim she was asleep and had cuddled closer unconsciously.
“Five mu-minutes m’lady,” he mumbled sleepily.
She giggled silently and gave a small nod of approval. Five more minutes. “Silly kitty.”
It was easy to feel as if nothing else existed outside the two of them when they were suspended above the rest of Paris, far from their daily lives and daily struggles. But now that she was finally at home, where she wasn’t just Ladybug and Chat Noir’s partner, another pair of green eyes came back to haunt her. To remind her it should not be possible to love two people at once.
Adrien.
She spent countless hours making gifts for him and storing them for the moment she would finally be brave enough to give them away. Her hands remembered every movement when she knitted the blue scarf for his birthday, but now they itched to rediscover the creases on his palm she felt when he held her hand. Her fingers once bore the smudges of ink from her love letters, but now they unconsciously tapped her phone screen until she was suddenly looking at the plethora of messages under “Adrien <3”
She was so used to hiding, a tactical retreat of her emotions. Whenever she was embarrassed from her own behavior or her reactions to Adrien, she’d run. When Chat Noir would say something that made her heart beat a little bit too fast, she’d flick his nose and run away. But now… she wanted to stay.
She wanted to know what it would be like to fall asleep next to him. Again, her mind quipped. Would she somehow end up in his arms? Would he reach towards her in his sleep? Would she be wide awake, restless with electricity running through her veins at the smallest sigh on her skin? Or would she fall into a dreamless sleep, content with the knowledge that she is in the safest place: wrapped up in his arms that have saved her so many times and lifted her up when she was about to give up.
More importantly, who did she want that with?
She loved Adrien. Her love for Adrien was a light drizzle that fell in soft sheets of rain. The small drops cooled her skin and offered respite with the earthy smell of damp concrete. It was the promise of a new beginning underneath a black umbrella, with the sun peeking through the clouds in the far distance but offering warmth in his smile in the meantime. She couldn’t imagine a more innocent first love, or ever giving up on it for that matter. She would do anything to keep his smile as her guiding light in the midst of the storm that her life had become since becoming a hero.
And while she spent all her time reminiscing about that day in the rain, she couldn’t help but feel restless in the gust of wind that is Chat Noir. It was an inescapable, almost brash kind of love that carried her onto a pedestal, one she was sure not even a whirlwind could break her fall from. But with time, it relaxed into a soft breeze that caressed her hair and carried the twinkling of laughter from the city they loved and protected. It was the breath of fresh air she needed when life had gotten too much; he was always very good at lifting her up from her bouts of self-doubt and inspiring her to be the force of nature he knew she could be. Whenever the winds became stronger, she shouted at the top of her lungs and let the wind carry her worries away, safe in the knowledge that he’d guard her secrets, guard her.
Marinette whined in frustration and tugged at her ties to let her hair flow in the breeze. Even the weather added to her indecision! The wind and rain simultaneously taunted her into making a choice.
But how could she, when they were both so important to her? She wouldn’t be the Marinette she is today without them both.
So maybe…
Maybe the weather wasn’t taunting her.
Maybe life was just showing her how you can experience both in a beautiful, new way. If that was true, that meant accepting, once and for all, that she can’t beat this convoluted love game. She held out for as long as she could, calling out Chat Noir’s bluff and shying away from facing Adrien. But her hand’s at risk; she can’t keep pulling away and self-sabotaging to enable her hesitation.
So she folds.
I’m in love with both of them .
She thought the acknowledgement would come with a swirl of guilt. Instead, she finds comfort in the recognition. It’s a relief to finally be honest with herself, however scary the unknown consequences may seem. It’s also incredible just how natural it feels to love them both.
Somehow she knows, deep inside,
they’ll be alright.