Chapter Text
Hope ran her finger around the rim of her glass as she vacuously stared at the building across from her.
She was currently hiding out in Lizzie’s terrace, finishing her fifth glass of wine of the evening, wishing she could get drunk like a normal person.
Being a tribrid sure had its perks, but the high alcohol tolerance was not one of them. Although, it’s not like Hope had anything better to do and Freya did buy a lot, a lot, of bottles of alcohol...
God bless that woman’s bank account.
... So she might as well make good of her aunt’s money.
Besides, there was no way she would get through this party sober.
The twins 21th birthday party.
Although, Hope wouldn’t exactly call it a party.
Lizzie and Josie made it clear they didn’t want one. Lizzie even said she didn’t want anyone wishing her “happy birthday.”
“Let’s pretend it’s just a regular day.” She asked a month ago, but Caroline insisted they did something.
“Anything, sweetheart. Even if it’s just dinner.” She said. “We can keep it small. Just us. Just family.”
Eventually, they agreed, Josie and her. Lizzie still didn’t want “Happy Birthday’s” and Josie only said yes because she knew saying no to their mom was pointless, but that was all Caroline needed.
“I promise we’ll have wine..” Freya said over the phone when they called to invite her. Not knowing Caroline had already done it, much less that the three of them were planning said party together.
“A lot of it.” Keelin added.
It was the only time Hope saw Josie smiling that whole week.
Freya and Keelin flew to New York the next morning and along with Caroline they organized what Hope was sure was the booziest and strangest dinner she had ever been invited to.
Starting with the hostess: A werewolf, a 1000 year-old-witch and a vampire.
Followed by its guests: Herself, the tribrid, a werewolf, a vampire and a muse, all coming together to celebrate their friend's birthday.
Really. Just day-to-day stuff.
Except for the fact that said birthday was the twins’s last one before they had to merge with each other due to some ancient curse put upon the coven they belong to.
See? Nothing out of the ordinary.
Hope let out a deep breath before tossing down her drink. She closed her eyes, wondering for the 10th time that night if there was a spell strong enough to stop time.
She really wished there was one.
She wished she could stop it all. Time. Life.
Or at least pause, so she wouldn't have to deal with the shitshow that was about to happen as soon as Keelin announced the dinner was ready.
Hope knew Caroline had the best intentions, she was happy she was here and she knew Josie was too.
The vampire was still traveling - still trying to find a way to stop what Hope was starting to believe was unstoppable, but Caroline spent more time with the twins now than she did before, especially after Alaric passed away, and Hope knew how much both of them - Josie and Lizzie - missed her.
Hope felt the same way about her own family.
But regardless of how much the twins loved Caroline and how much Hope loved her aunts, there was no way this dinner was a good idea.
Even if Freya tried to convince her otherwise.
3 days ago
“Aunt Freya, why did you agree with all of this?”
“Because birthdays are important, Hope. Turning a new age is a reason to celebrate.”
“Not this time.”
“Hope...”
“Do you honestly think this is a good idea?”
Freya held her hand. “I think letting the date go by as if it was nothing would be worse. You need to acknowledge it. We need to be here for them.”
“I’m here.” Hope's voice came out small. “I know you are, sweetheart but there’s not such a thing as too much family.”
Hope didn't say anyhing, her eyes glued to the table in front of her. Freya continued.
“Yes, it’s depressing. It’s awful in more ways than I know how to describe it and that’s exactly why we need to do this.”
“Have dinner?”
“Get drunk.” Freya smiled. “If life has taught me anything, it is that.”
“The power of alcohol?”
“More or less." The witch's hold on Hope's hand grew stronger. "But it also taught me that sometimes we need to take a break from all the fighting, the searching for loopholes, the morbidity of it all and just breathe and yes, have a nice dinner with friends and family.”
Hope poured herself another glass, emptying it in the next second. She needed to get her shit together. Fast. But she had no idea how to.
The wine sure wasn't helping.
It was so much easier when she could say “We still have time.” “You’re not even 18 yet, we have time.” “You’re only 19, we have time.”
She stopped saying that when the twins turned 20. Yes, they had time, but it didn’t feel like it anymore.
Something had changed.
Because that year was the year Hope finally told Josie she was in love with her - and suddenly everything became real. Too fucking real.
She loved her. Hope loved her. More than she had ever thought it was possible and she hated herself for not releasing it sooner. She had lost so much time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
She fucking hated that word and its whole concept.
Hope opened the wine bottle again, filling her glass again, but right as she was about to drink it, she heard someone approaching her.
"I said 'no Freya, you must be mistaken.’" Josie's voice filled the room at the same time her perfume filled Hope’s senses. The tribrid involuntarily smiled. "'There’s no way Hope started drinking without me.’ Her girlfriend. Who she says she loves and to whom she promised she would wait for because she wanted us to get drunk together.’”
Hope’s smile grew wider as she watched Josie walk towards her.
“You said you were gonna be late. I was simply wanting for you.”
“Sure, sure.” Josie said, sitting next to her on the couch. Hope set her glass on the table before turning back to look at her.
God, she was beautiful.
"I'm sorry." She said, moving closer to the brunette. Josie mimicked her actions. "I forgive you."
Their faces were now less than an inch apart. "Thank you, you're very kind."
Hope wasn't sure who kissed who first, but soon enough Josie’s lips were touching hers and the rest of the world stopped mattering. As it should.
Hope pulled her closer, her hands moving to the girl's waist. She knew the second Josie stopped kissing her she could be forced to face reality again, but for the next minute or two, she wouldn't worry about that.
Not about the merge, much less about the dinner from hell they were about to have. She wouldn't even let Lizzie’s awfully uncomfortable couch upset her.
She still remembered how the blonde tricked her into carrying it through the very crowded streets of New York all the way through the stairs of her apartment up until the terrace.
She did consider the use of extreme violence as payback, but Josie managed to talk her out of it.
"Think of it as a favor to me." Josie had said and it worked. Hope didn’t punch Lizzie, but she still hated that coach.
It was too small, the color was awful.
How would someone willing buy a yellow anything was beyond Hope, but now as Josie nails scratch at her scalp and the couch's small size made her nuzzle closer to her, Hope didn’t hate it as much.
"You taste like wine." Josie said when she broke the kiss, licking her own bottom lip, eyes still closed. Hope didn't answer, trailing after Josie instead, kissing her again. "Now you do, too."
Josie smiled, opening her eyes. "I wasn't complaining."
Hope pulled back, only enough so she could rest her back against the arm of the couch, bringing Josie with her.
"Me neither." She said with a smirk as she reached for Hope's glass on the table. Hope simply watched her. Josie holding a wine glass was a sight that never failed to leave her mesmerized.
“What happened by the way?” The tribrid asked. "That made you late."
“A kid with a broken arm arrived at the ER. Nothing serious, though.”
Hope nodded, looking pensively at the sky. "If you break my arm, can we go home earlier?" Josie laughed. "Seeing as you'll heal in less than one minute, I don't think mom or Freya would fall for that."
"You make a good point."
Hope moved her arm to Josie's shoulders, making the siphoner rest her back now against her front, instead of the couch.
That's better.
"How long have you been up here?" Josie asked, mindless playing with Hope’s fingers. "Less than an hour, I guess."
The brunette drank the rest of the wine, turning to face Hope a second later. "Freya asked me to come and get you."
"Of course she did." Hope said, involuntarily rolling her eyes. Josie put the now empty glass back on the table, before turning her full attention to her girlfriend.
Their eyes met. "It's just dinner."
"It's just dinner." Hope repeated to herself.
She had lost count of how many times they had said that to each other the past week. Whether or not it was a way to convince the other one or themselves, Hope wasn't sure, but it became almost their mantra.
It's just dinner.
Hope moved her eyes to the nearly empty bottle sitting on the table then back at Josie's face. The perfect picture of stoicism stared back at her.
How are you ok with all of this? She wanted to ask. How are you not freaking out?
How?
But she didn't. Instead she smiled.
"Let's go, before I change my mind."
Josie got up, holding her hand up for her. “It’s just dinner.” She said.
Hope enlaced their fingers together, pushing herself off of the couch.
It’s just dinner.
It wasn't just dinner.
It was a fucking banquet.
Caroline, Freya and Keelin had truly outdone themselves, Hope would give them that, but no amount of food and drinks could save that night from being a total disaster.
One look at Lizzie was all it took for Hope to be sure of that.
Hope hadn’t actually talked to her ever since her aunts arrived - she had no idea what she was thinking or feeling about this whole thing, but Hope knew better than to ask her, just like Josie, Lizzie functioned at her own time, at her own accord. Hope knew that.
That didn’t mean she wasn’t desperately wanting to put Lizzie in the car and go to some place they could just scream together.
Josie refused to talk about the merge, refused to even acknowledge it, but Lizzie- Lizzie didn’t know how to ignore things. Not for long.
Hope needed to find a way to be there for the both of them.
She needed time, but more urgent than that, she needed this night to end.
“There you girls are.” Caroline said cheerfully. Josie closed the door behind them. “C’mon, take a seat.”
Hope let Josie guide her to the dinner table, refusing to let go of her hand. Refusing to let go of her.
“Everything looks and smells amazing, Mom.” Hope heard her saying. She also heard Caroline saying something about how Keelin and Freya were “such a big help” while Freya only laughed and said “I simply opened the bottles”, but everything after that became background noise to Hope.
She purposely blocked the conversation out, the over the top politeness of it all… She didn’t have the will to partake in it. She would much rather focus on the feeling of Josie’s hand in hers and busy herself with playing with her girlfriend’s rings.
But Hope still nodded and smiled as if she was paying attention, like she had promised Freya she would, followed by an occasional “Yes” “Absolutely.” “I agree” just to be safe.
If her friends saw through her sham, they were kind enough not to comment. Caroline and Keelin, too, but not Freya. Never Freya.
“Hope.” She said, stopping the girl from pouring yet another glass of wine for herself. Josie’s hand slightly squeezed her thigh, whether offering support or silently telling her to answer Hope wasn’t sure.
“Yes?”
“You’re monopolizing the wine, beautiful.” Freya said playfully, flashing her most bright smile at her, but Hope saw the concerning look in her eyes.
MG laughed. “She’s always monopolizing the wine.”
“I do not. You’re the one that alw-”
“Yes, you do.” Josie cut her off, grabbing the bottle and gracefully pouring Freya a glass. “But you look beautiful doing it.” She turned around, filling Hope’s glass for good measure. She smiled as she did so, pressing her lips ever so slightly against Hope’s cheek.
Hope let her head rest on Josie’s shoulder.
“Thank you.” She said with a smile.
“Now, why are you all fighting over one bottle when Freya bought a whole vineyard for tonight?” Keelin asked.
Caroline laughed, sipping at her own glass. “Keelin has a point, Freya.”
“I did not do such a thing.”
“Yes, babe, you did.” Keelin said, laughing. “I didn’t. I simply provide this dinner with the proper pairing.”
Lizzie smiled. “I for one am not complaining.”.
“Me neither.” Cleo said, bringing her own glass to her lips.
“I’m more than ok with all and every pairing.” Jed agreed.
“See? They like me.” Freya said, smugly. Keelin rolled her eyes, but the smile never left her lips. “I never thought they didn’t. I’m just saying that you spoil them.”
Instead of answering, Freya just laughed.
“And there’s nothing wrong with that.” MG said as he reached for another bottle, opening it in record time. “You’re totally invited to my birthday party by the way.”
“Thank you, Milton. At least someone appreciates me around here.” Freya said at the same time as Josie’s hand found its way back to Hope’s thigh.
Hope was almost sure Josie didn’t even realize what she was doing anymore. Whether it was a hand in her thigh like in that moment, or the way Josie would start caressing her arm at random when they were talking, Hope had a feeling it was all unconscious actions at this point, but it never failed to make her pulse race.
“Dude, you’re a vampire. You don’t get birthdays anymore.” Jed deadpan stated, pulling Hope out of her thoughts. Josie started to laugh, throwing her head back as if Jed had told the funniest joke in the world.
Hope smiled, but not because she thought it was funny.
No. She smiled because Josie was laughing and she looked beautiful when she smiled.
Actually, she looked beautiful doing pretty much anything and also nothing at all.
Hope rested her head in her hand, turning to the side, feeling dizzy and happy just looking at her.
Josie was always beautiful. No one should be allowed to look this beautiful. It was unfair.
But Josie was - beautiful, that it’s.
So, so, so, so beautiful and-
Fuck.
She was drunk.
“Finally.” Hope murmured under her breath.
“What did you say babe?”
“Nothing, just…” She stopped herself, needing time to choose the right words. “Thinking out loud.”
Josie narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “What about?”
You. Always you.
Hope’s eyes traveled up and down her girlfriend’s face.
So fucking beautiful.
But before she could say anything, Caroline decided to bring her back to the real world. The cruel, awful and dreadful real world.
“It’s time for the cake.” She announced, successfully bursting the bubble of happiness and drunk contemplation Hope was in.
She hated it - and as soon as her eyes met Lizzie’s, she realized she was not the only one.
Both of their postures stiffened as soon as Caroline spoke, both of their minds got instantly sober and both of them remembered what tonight was really about.
It wasn’t just dinner.
It wasn’t just another fun, casual and regular evening with their friends and family.
No matter how many jokes Jed told, nothing about any of that was remotely regular, much less casual or fun, or “happy” - no matter how much effort Caroline, Freya and Keelin were putting behind that word as they sang “happy birthday to you” at the top of their lungs.
“Happy birthday, girls.” Caroline said with a smile, kissing both of her daughters on the forehead. “Make a wish.” She whispered.
Josie closed her eyes, blowing the candles one second later.
Lizzie tossed down her drink.
Hope looked away.
“You’re awfully quiet…” Josie said as she put the last plate on the dishwasher. “...Even for you.”
She turned around, resting her back against the kitchen counter, eyes meeting Hope’s from across the room.
Hope pushed herself off of the door, closing the distance between them with a few steps.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked, looking at Josie from under her eyelashes, a small smile appearing on her face as she spoke.
“Exactly what I said.” Josie said, smirking.
“I have no idea what you mean by that.”
Josie rolled her eyes. “Sure you don’t... “
“I really don’t.” Hope’s tone was light as she spoke, even if she was feeling anything but that. But If Josie noticed, she didn’t say, instead she took Hope’s hands in hers, bringing her face closer to the girl’s. “I’m just thinking.”
“You're thinking too loudly...” She said, using her free hand to trace Hope’s jawline. Her voice now lower and her smirk gone.
Hope felt the air getting heavier.
“I’m trying not to.” The lump in her throat made itself known, against her better efforts to ignore it.
“I know.” Josie said with a sigh. “Me too.”
And for the first time Hope saw her own sadness mirrored in Josie’s eyes.
“Any tips on how?”
“Wine helps.” The siphoner answered with a smile, every bit as sad as the look in Hope’s eyes, but still beautiful and always breathtaking.
Before Hope could stop it, parts of her conversation with Freya come back to haunt her.
“I can’t lose her, aunt Freya. I just- I can’t”
“I know, Hope. And I promise you, we will do everything we can to solve this. Until the last minute.”
“Until the last minute.”
The memory all but made the lump in her throat grow bigger.
She didn’t want to be sad and realistically Hope knew she had no immediate reason to feel anything but happiness.
Josie was right by her side. She was alive and well.
Alive.
Alive.
Josie was alive. Josie was here.
Hope swallowed, trying her best to ignore the growing spiraling on her mind.
It was supposed to be easier, she thought to herself, but it wasn’t. It was never going to be easy.
She closed her eyes, unconsciously tightening the hold she had on Josie’s hand as the feeling of the girl’s fingertips still caressing her face sent shivers down her arms and legs.
“I think I need something stronger than wine.”
A beat passed before Josie spoke again. “That can be arranged.”
When their lips met, Hope finally felt like she could breathe again.
Her hands found their way to Josie’s waist and she gently pulled the girl closer to her. Josie let her, cupping her face in both of her hands as she deepened the kiss.
She was alive, Hope repeated to herself. She was alive and she was here.
Hope focused on the feeling of Josie’s lips on hers. She was alive. She was here.
She focused on the warmth of her skin. She was alive. She was here.
But for how long? The thought rushed through her mind before she could stop it.
She tried to focus on Josie’s heartbeat, letting the sound fill her ears.
She had lost count of how many times she had done that.
At first she didn’t realize what she was doing, it just happened - even before they started dating. Whenever Josie was near her, she felt drawn to it, to her.
Now she did it on purpose, whenever she felt stressed or nervous, she just laid by Josie’s side and listened. Not a word was said between them in those moments. Josie simply hugged her as Hope rested her head on her shoulder, an arm wrapped around her waist while Josie played with her hair.
She was alive. She was here.
Hope pulled Josie closer.
She was alive. She was here.
Her hands moved from the girl’s waist to her sides, listening suddenly becoming no longer enough. She needed to feel Josie’s heart beating.
It was strong, steady.
She was alive. She was here.
Firm. Secure. Like it always was.
She was alive. She was here. She was alive. She was here.
For how long? For how long? For how long?
Josie eagerly kissed her back. Her hands moved from Hope’s face to her neck and Josie dug her nails on the skin she found there.
Hope didn’t think it was physically possible to pull Josie any closer to her than she already was, but it didn't stop her from trying.
She was alive. She was here.
She focused again on the sound of Josie’s heart, on the feeling of it beating against the girl’s ribcage.
But something was different.
It was beating faster than before, stronger, but also more erratic... Less like a reassurance and more like a countdown.
Josie pulled away.
“Take me home.”