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“Hn.”
It was a tame reaction to someone biting down on him hard enough to draw blood but Zhou Zishu was used to it. He looked blandly at his wrist, one of the madman’s favorite places to sink his teeth into and sighed. It stung but it was familiar.
“I wonder when you’d stop being a dog,” he placidly remarked as Wen Kexing wordlessly cut off a strip of his robe to wrap around the fresh wound.
“Maybe you should stop being so sumptuous,” Wen Kexing tried to tease but his brows creased and he looked distracted enough that Zhou Zishu almost offered his other wrist up to pull him back to the present. Grief was an insidious thing. Most of the time it was Ah-xiang. That sweet girl with a foul mouth. His little girl in purple . Some of it was about those unspoken years growing up in a place as inhospitable as ghost valley. He even knew that some of it was because of him.
Those three months of unconsciousness were nothing to him. All he did was sleep. But to Wen Kexing, who lived in limbo, not knowing if he might live or die, the damage was permanent. He was guilty enough that his own issues had to pile on everything else. But he also knew that if he were in Wen Kexing’s shoes, he would have done the same.
It didn’t take long, however, for Wen Kexing to snap out of it this time. He smiled mischievously at Zhou Zishu, a perfect mask settling in that inhumanly beautiful face.
He was the spy but that didn't mean Wen Kexing was less better at pretending.
“Aiya, Ah-xu, are you worried about this wife?”
He must’ve slipped and made the concern evident in his face so he rolled his eyes and looked away slightly to reset his expression. Wen Kexing’s smile grew wider and more malicious. Like this, his face appeared bloodstained even in the sunlight. Zhou Zishu blinked and the blood was gone, only Wen Kexing’s clean face and dark eyes that seemed to both absorb and dispel light.
“If you’re hungry, make more food. Treating me like a snack. Who do you think I am?” He admonished loftily, looking at the empty dishes at their table pointedly.
Wen Kexing’s answering laugh was more genuine and he raised both hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. This wife was wrong.” That’s what he said but he still leaned in with bad intentions and nipped at Zhou Zishu’s cheek. Zhou Zishu pushed him away with real force this time.
“You really are a dog.”
“If I’m a dog, what are you?”
That statement had too many implications and it was almost enough to shame him into a blush.
Fuck you.
As if reading his mind, Wen Kexing dutifully tidied up the clutter on the table, a result of Zhou Zishu’s push. But it was with a smirk that he said “I know you will.”
At night before bed, Zhou Zishu usually washes up while Wen Kexing takes some ointment and applies it to every wound on Zhou Zishu’s body. Each and every single one of them inflicted by him in his moments of vulnerability and impulse. He knelt down when he was done with Zhou Zishu's upper body and disrespectfully groped the other man's legs at the guise of examining them.
Some of them were a dull purple while some were an angry red. He was slightly apologetic, but also irreverently satisfied.
“What are you smirking about, little wife?”
Caught in his indecent thoughts, he laughed softly while rubbing at a particularly deep mark in Zhou Zishu’s thigh. They were soft but nothing was softer than Zhou Zishu's heart. So far he had been successful in all of his endeavors, even if he had to cry each time he needed and wanted to give affection. It was more of a habit than necessity now. He knew Zhou Zishu doesn’t think he’s pitiful, he knew Zhou Zishu wanted it done to him but he would preserve Zhou Zishu’s dignity by pretending he doesn’t know.
What a magnanimous wife I am. Proud of himself and basking within his own thoughts, not noticing that Zhou Zishu was looking at him darkly, he wound his arms around that person’s soft waist and buried his head in Zhou Zishu’s stomach. Oh a soft waist, and a soft heart. Zhou Zishu's body was plumper now and his previously dainty appearance has transformed into a not exactly rounded figure but sturdier, and with more color. Not a sickly green or a lifeless pallor, but one with more vigor, more life. He almost forgot that he once vowed to douse himself in oil and follow this man in death if he left this world. Almost. While it may not be a pervading thought these days, he would still willingly walk into the fire when that time comes. There are times, like now, when he’s overwhelmed by emotions and Zhou Zishu would be his only anchor. And so, he couldn’t resist it. After a small, experimental lick, he bit into that fleshy part too. Zhou Zishu hissed above him.
“Get off me. This husband is tired.”
“Oh? But you don’t have to do anything, just lay there and-”
Zhou Zishu flicked his forehead strong enough to leave a mark. He knew he was pushing it anyway, teasing him like that. Zhou Zishu gave him a little kick when he still hasn’t moved from his position. He deliberately got up slowly, and kept away the bottle of wound ointment.
Zhou Zishu glared at him and walked to the bed. He lay down with most of the quilt covering him and occupied most of the space, leaving no room for Wen Kexing beside him.
“No space for me?”
Zhou Zishu didn’t answer.
“If there’s none under the quilt, this wife will just have to lay on this husband.”
Without warning, he dove and jumped onto Zhou Zishu’s prone form and rested his whole weight on him, pressing him onto the mattress. Zhou Zishu tried to push him off but he only made his body heavier. With his face close to Zhou Zishu, he could smell the other man's soft, calming scent tinged with alcohol through the quilt. There has never been anything more fragrant.
“Little wife, you really are testing this husband,” came Zhou Zishu’s muffled warning. It significantly lost its effect while Wen Kexing was smothering him.
It didn’t take long for Zhou Zishu to muster enough power to flip him over. Zhou Zishu hovered above him and restrained his arms so he couldn't counterattack. “Stay down, or I’ll tie you up.”
“That sounds nice.” He made sure his smile was as insufferable as possible and he knew he achieved it when Zhou Zishu narrowed his eyes in warning.
“Shut up and let me sleep. Don’t bug me.”
He could feel Zhou Zishu warm puffs of grumpy air caress his face and he was almost tempted to flip them back around and ravish Zhou Zishu with abandon. But he knew Zhou Zishu would be the one bugging him later so he just decided to let it go for now. He gently tapped on the mattress with his fingers, a sign of surrender. Zhou Zishu let him go and burrowed back into his previous position.
“Goodnight, Ah-xu,” he called out.
Zhou Zishu didn’t reply. He didn’t really need to.
As per usual it was one of those nights. He really should stop thinking of it as that when most of his nights is one of those nights .
He kept moving around, wrapping and unwrapping the quilt around him, wringing and unwringing the loose sleeves of his inner robes. Outside the crickets were chirping and there was a faint light from the few lanterns under the eaves together with the moon bathing the room in a gentle glow.
“Lao Wen,” he called out, barely even a whisper. He turned towards the sleeping man. Under the meager light, he can still see Wen Kexing’s hair fanned around him, the silky strands emitting a soft glow. His mouth was slightly open and the sound of his very light snores filled the room. Even then, Zhou Zishu could not stop staring at that silly face. There was nothing left in the world that was more interesting to look at than Wen Kexing and he was willing to admit that to himself. Zhou Zishu moved closer to listen if he really was asleep. He rested a hand against Wen Kexing’s chest lightly only to feel the long steady breaths of his deep slumber. Zhou Zishu looked around and closed his eyes and tried to feel if Chengling was in a similarly deep sleep. He was.
Like a thief he moved the heavy blanket away and took a vial from under the bed. With one last look to make sure Wen Kexing really was unconscious, he very deftly swung a leg over Wen Kexing’s waist and sat on him.
Wen Kexing didn’t move.
“Wife Wen,” he tried again, to ease his conscience, even though his voice was still soft enough not to disturb a feather. “Are you awake?” No answer.
He hurriedly stripped Wen Kexing from the waist down as he parted his own robes. He popped open the plain vial and let the viscous fluid flow down to his palm. First he spread it all around Wen Kexing and was once again filled with the satisfaction of his zhiji actively desiring him even in sleep when Wen Kexing’s body responded almost immediately from his ministrations. Wen Kexing groaned but he nevertheless stayed put. Wen Kexing felt like velvet over marble and the sensation of palming him almost made him come just from the feel of it.
He couldn’t stand the wait any longer so when he made sufficiently sure that Wen Kexing was ready, he reached behind him and prepared himself too. He was already leaking. He had been since the lunatic bit onto his stomach, only to be exacerbated when he jumped on him. He felt Wen Kexing’s warmth and the scent of him that always smelled a bit like iron and the need and want to feel him rose up within him like usual. And then he couldn’t sleep. And so, like he did most nights, he didn’t even rouse Wen Kexing, he just did as he wanted and Wen Kexing was none the wiser. Probably. Maybe.
When he was ready and he felt like Wen Kexing could enter him without tearing, he positioned his hips above Wen Kexing’s and impaled himself onto his zhiji .
He didn’t know why he was doing it. Maybe he was making up for lost time, maybe he was just that depraved. What he knew was that Wen Kexing wanted to devour him but he wanted Wen Kexing in him. If he could absorb the man, let him live in his blood, feel his limbs and his presence around and within him, he would. Only when Wen Kexing was there did he feel like he deserved the life he still had. Only with this person was he full enough to keep the emptiness at bay. Only with that knowledge of being able to surround himself with Wen Kexing, swallow him into his body, did he ever find the peace to fall asleep.
Wen Kexing in his sleep took a deep shuddering breath and tried to move but Zhou Zishu held him down and anchored himself to his chest as he moved and moved and rode towards that high peak that would bring him to completion.
“Ah-xu?”
Zhou Zishu was jolted from his almost blind ecstasy by Wen Kexing’s voice but he did not stop moving.
“Go back to sleep,” he commanded as his hips moved faster and his speech almost stuttered.
He could feel Wen Kexing’s eyes on him, knew the moment the fog of sleep disappeared from his eyes and awareness settled in. He knew when Wen Kexing felt the desire hit him too because his whole body jerked underneath him and he pistoned his hips upward like he wasn’t just asleep a moment ago. The extra force stimulated him so much and he both wanted to push him away and pull him closer.
“Don’t move,” he pleaded and Wen Kexing, obedient but impudent as ever, stopped moving but blew on Zhou Zishu’s face seductively.
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck me,” he agreed.
Wen Kexing lazily laid back and allowed Zhou Zishu to ride him, looking for all the world like a privileged young master enjoying a show. He knew what Zhou Zishu had been doing and he knew why. Even if he didn’t, what would he not allow? What concession wasn’t he willing to give to this man? He need only ask. He does not even need to ask. Wen Kexing would make sure Zhou Zishu felt the answer deep inside him.
He couldn’t stay idle for so long, however, when he felt that tidal wave getting closer and closer and threatened to drown both of them. It felt like a monumental thing and they were very close to reaching a summit. He has never felt like each orgasm was a force of nature with anyone other than with his Ah-xu.
When he could see the imprint of himself in his zhiji ’s stomach, that pushed him over the edge too quickly and he reached out and grabbed onto Zhou Zishu’s arms so hard that he knew it would leave bruises. Still with Zhou Zishu close enough, and that delicate curve of his shoulder right in front of him, he was a starving man at a banquet. He bit onto the smooth skin like he was feasting and even when the blood flowed at the same time his release filled Zhou Zishu’s insides, he did not stop.
Only when Zhou Zishu was shuddering around him and he could feel the tender flesh in his mouth starting to swell did he move his head away and lap up the blood. How very sweet.
“Did my husband have his fill?”
As Wen Kexing slowly pulled out, earning a soft groan from the man on him, he gently settled Zhou Zishu back on the bed. Carefully, he undressed him and Zhou Zishu whined at the motion, but he was finally satiated enough to drowsiness.
“Go away.”
“After you used my body?”
“Shut up.”
"I am but a slave," Wen Kexing conceded, and he silently got up to clean them both. Zhou Zishu was asleep before he came back with warm water and some clean cloth.
After Zhou Zishu was cleaned up, his clothes changed, his wound bandaged, and soothing ointment applied to his backside, he pulled Zhou Zishu into an embrace. Wen Kexing lay a warm hand on his lower back and applied just enough strength to make Zhou Zishu limp as he stretched instinctively and almost purred with feline satisfaction.
Wen Kexing hummed, the hands on Zhou Zishu’s lower back were still kneading delightfully. He moved closer and playfully bit Zhou Zishu’s nose with no real force.
“Sleep, Ah-xu.”
“Are you avoiding me?”
Zhou Zishu paused in his tracks as Wen Kexing out of nowhere appeared in his path. It was always unnerving how he could do that. Perhaps he was the only person who could still surprise Zhou Zishu.
Zhou Zishu raised a brow. “Why would I?”
If possible, Wen Kexing made himself bigger, his height almost blocking out the sun and the smile playing on his lips was menacing enough. His presence was stifling. So much so that Zhou Zishu almost took a step back, not out of fear but out of instinct.
“Maybe you’ve sinned on my altar.”
He scoffed. Wen Kexing was sometimes too amusing. This impertinent man .
“Little wife, don’t flatter yourself, you’re not a god.”
Still, he didn’t look straight at Wen Kexing. Those black eyes saw too much. While his mouth spouted nonsense, his eyes could stare deep into the soul and strip him bare. Last night was different. Not awkward, just…revealing. And although he was willing to show himself, it was still jarring to be seen so clearly.
Wen Kexing reached out, and with a finger under Zhou Zishu's chin, guided his face and his gaze back to him.
“Between us, there is no shame. Other people don’t understand, but I do."
The echo of a question he once asked long ago back when he did not have much time left, back when he heartlessly refused to live any longer, coming back not to haunt him but to reinforce Wen Kexing's devotion is truly rare for someone like him. He still did not deserve the life he had but he will live it if only for this person in front of him.
"I understand," Wen Kexing insisted and he smiled at Zhou Zishu like he was the sun.
Of all the things that ever existed, Ah-xu has always been and always will be the one that weighed most heavily in his heart. Had he not conceded long ago that he would break down his own body piece by piece for this person alone? What shame is there to feel in front of him?
Of the world's most contemptible beings, he sits at the top. How could Ah-xu think anything was beyond what he could stomach?
He took Zhou Zishu's hand. It was warm like his own heart. And the intoxication he felt in the presence of his Ah-xu hit him with a gentle but undeniable force. Ah-xu had always seemed unkind but his heart was the softest. And with Ah-xu's hand in his, he had always felt calm and happy. Did he not fulfill his promise that every day Ah-xu lived is a day he lived with him?
"If you want me. As long as you want me…"
Zhou Zishu did not move his hand away even as his gaze looked beyond. He just moved a finger and caressed one of Wen Kexing's as he held on.
His collarbone showing through his loose robes was temptation enough for Wen Kexing, who pulled Zhou Zishu closer and let his sharp teeth graze on the sensual area.
"Ah-xu…"
Only when Zhou Zishu nodded did he truly bite. He didn't sink his teeth in too deeply, did not allow Zhou Zishu to bleed. It was not a claiming, just an assurance.
When Zhou Zishu moved his hand up and tugged at a lock of his hair, he knew Zhou Zishu understood.
"Tsk. Really. What kind of dog are you?"
“You know the answer.”
A dog that’s yours.