Chapter Text
“Ya all right?” Spike asked as he caught up to Xander.
“Yeah…just…kinda surprised,” Xander answered quietly, “I mean I didn’t really expect him to return to Sunnydale…again…after what he said…Guess he wants to see Buffy.”
Spike cursed and stopped walking. Xander didn’t notice right away but when he turned to talk to the blond vampire he wasn’t there. The human turned around and looked back at Spike.
“Hey…It’s…it’s not that important,” Xander said and walked back to Spike, “I could just stay away from the Magic Box and Buffy’s house for awhile…no big deal,” he mumbled and tried to hide the tears threatening to roll down his cheeks.
“Bloody stupid bastard should have the manners ta know you’d get hurt,” Spike yelled. Xander’s shoulders slumped and he looked tired.
“Just leave it, Spike. Please,” he said, “And when he arrives, don’t start fighting. Buffy would want to know why and we both know he wouldn’t tell her.”
Spike moved closer to Xander and whispered, “If he could see how much ya hurt…”
“No Spike! You have to promise me you won’t tell him. Okay? Okay, Spike?!” Xander grabbed on to Spike’s duster and held on to it as if it was the only thing keeping him on his feet.
“Still say that if he knew he’d take ya with him ta LA,” Spike soothed.
“No, Spike. Even if he did take me with him…It’d be out of pity and not because…It wasn’t even him, Spike. Wasn’t him and making him do things out of pity won’t make things different.”
---------------------------------------------------------
Xander stood in front of the mirror and looked at the mark on his shoulder. It wasn’t quite as vivid as it had been that first year. He let his fingers trail over it. The skin was still as sensitive as always and he sighed softly.
“Tell me again,” Spike said from the door and Xander looked into the mirror. Even if he couldn’t see Spike in it he knew he was there. Xander had told the story many times and he wasn’t stupid enough to think that Spike couldn’t remember it. But the blond vampire knew that Xander needed to remind himself. Needed to retell the story because as time passed he was afraid he would forget the details.
“I was possessed by the hyena. Buffy couldn’t find me…I…I didn’t want her to find me,” Xander said quietly, “They found my pack pretty fast. Used a spell to make them…normal…I met someone. First time we met like that…me as the hyena and him as…” Xander tried never to say the name. It hurt too much
“And somehow we started to hunt together. Spent time together. A month…two,” Xander smiled, “He claimed me. You…” Xander looked into the mirror, his eyes focusing on the scar on his shoulder, “You were there…somewhere…in the house.”
“Could hear ya,” Spike said and laughed when Xander blushed.
“Yeah,” Xander nodded, “He claimed me and then I…Buffy and Giles found me. Caught me and took the hyena from me…He looked for me and I…I wanted to go back but…then the whole thing with hell on earth and Buffy sending Angel to a hell-dimension.”
Xander looked lost for a second and Spike said, “No need ta tell the rest, pet. Better ta think ’bout the good times, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Xander said slowly and turned around and looked at Spike. The blond vampire was leaning on the doorframe. “Why didn’t he want me?” Xander whispered, “Am I that…disgusting?”
Spike was there in a split second hugging the human close.
“He’s a bloody wanker for not wanting ya, Xander,” Spike murmured in the consort’s ear. “Let go of a treasure, he did.”
Xander just sagged against the vampire.
------------------------------------------------
Xander was asleep now. His heartbeat slow and steady. Spike was sitting in the living room. This apartment was much nicer than that horrible basement the boy had lived in before and much more appropriate for a consort.
Spike growled quietly. He was going to have a talk with the bastard before the meting at the watcher’s tomorrow night.
-------------------------------------------------
Angel locked the car and looked over at the watcher’s house. He wasn’t looking forward to the meeting. He had actually tried to send Wesley but the human had been busy. Cordy had just huffed at Angel when he had suggested that she go back to Sunnydale.
So here he was. If he was lucky the boy wouldn’t be there and he wouldn’t have to deal with him. Angel started walking across the street when someone slammed into him.
“Fucking bastard!” Spike hissed as he started to punch Angel in the gut. Angel pushed the blond vampire away and managed to get back on his feet. “Leaving him like that,” Spike growled and tried to kick the taller vampire in the groin.
Angel grabbed hold of Spike’s leg and pushed him away from the road and up against the car. “What the hell is your problem, Spike?” Angel snarled while he held Spike against the car.
“Ya just left him. Like a bloody pet!” Spike said and looked into Angel’s eyes. “Ya know how much pain he’s been in? Well do ya?” Angel took a step back and shook his head.
“He…I didn’t have a choice,” Angel said.
“Fucking liar! Could have taken him with ya!” Spike straightened his duster.
“He’ll be fine,” Angel looked away.
“When, Angel? When will he be fine? Been years since it happened. And he ain’t getting any better,” Spike pushed Angel and the vampire took a step back. “He’s bloody lonely.”
Angel looked back at the house, “Is he coming tonight?” he asked.
“Yes,” Spike answered, “Wanted ta stay away…but guess he felt compelled ta be here…wonder why that is?” Spike asked mockingly, “Oh yeah almost forgot. It’s cause he’s your consort!” Spike growled and pushed past Angel and walked toward Giles’s house.
“Not mine,” Angel whispered quietly to the dark and tried to ignore Angelus‘ anger battering against his consciousness. Tried to ignore the growling voice in his head that demanded to be heard.
Mine, it screamed.