Chapter Text
When Levi had first seen Erwin without her armour, she hadn't quite recognised her.
The woman had approached her on the way back from training. Normally after hours Levi hurried back to her room to shower before dinner, but Erwin had managed to catch up with her.
"Ah, Ackerman, I'd like for you to join me in the archives this evening."
"I can't, I'm busy."
Levi didn't need to look up at the woman to know she was confused.
"May I ask what you're doing?"
Levi rolled her eyes.
"Sleeping."
She quickened her pace.
"Captain, I --"
"My apologies, my dear, esteemed Commander. I'll be getting a full eight hours so I may continue to serve our emperor to my best ability."
She grinned up at the commander, who was trying her very best to remain unfazed.
"Well, I suppose I cannot argue with that. Goodnight, Captain."
With that the blonde walked off, leaving Levi to hurry toward the communal showers in hope of not having to queue.
At dinner, as she shovelled bland food into her mouth and tried not to look Levi felt a little disappointed that Smith hadn't put up more of a fight, especially at dinner, she thought. She was, regretfully, rather curious as to what the Commander wanted. Regardless, she ought to stifle that curiosity, the woman told herself, and tried to give all of her attention to the meal in front of her. She hadn’t stifled it enough, it seemed, because that night Levi lay awake in her bed, curiosity creeping about her brain, meddling with her thoughts until she could bear it no more and slinked out of her room, down the hall, to the archives.
Erwin smirked when she saw Levi walk in.
“What.”
“I thought you were busy?”
“I’m here to do whatever bullshit you want, so don’t take the piss. Out with it, Smith, before I leave and go back to bed.”
Erwin stood and gestured toward the bench she was sitting on. Levi didn’t sit down, but she did catch a glimpse of the woman’s torso, now veiled by robes rather than obscured by armour. Levi was impressed, for the most part, because even like this Erwin was fucking big and muscular. Levi found herself particularly fixated on how well-endowed the woman was, judging from the way the fabric fell on her body. Enough of that, Levi thought to herself, and brought her eyes up to the way in which her commander’s face was framed by her blonde hair. She looked more relaxed, hair down like this, in loose clothing, and Levi found a strange warmth pooling in her stomach at the sight.
“…do you understand, Captain?”
Levi realised how spaced out she’d been, and choked out some sort of answer.
Erwin frowned.
“No, your drivel is so fuckin’ boring it put me to sleep for a second.”
“I told I needed your help building an advanced regimen for some specialised fighters. Nothing particularly complex or long-form, rather something that will improve their hand-to-hand combat skills quickly.”
Levi's blood boiled, and she felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her body. Fuck fucking Erwin. Always needing to put her in her place. She hadn't even wanted to come here, but the commander had lured her here, only to embarrass her. I'll show her. I'll never leave my room again, now, and one day she'll regret it because I'm her best soldier, she knows that.
Levi spun round and marched out of the archives, kicking a chair for good measure. At the other woman's squawk of confusion, Levi said bitterly;
“I can’t write very well, fucker. You know that."
"Oh, no Levi I..."
Erwin had replied, but Levi had not caught the last of that sentence for the overwhelming feeling of shock that had overcome her, an unknown yet not unpleasant feeling snaking up from her wrist, which Erwin's larger hand was circled around. She was sure that Erwin might feel her pulse quickening against her thumb at this contact, or that she might notice how red her ears were. A flurry of wants rushed through her head: She wanted to slap the damn commander's hand away, in the hopes that Erwin might realise her mistake. She wanted to yell at her, for her strong, tall commander to feel anything less than perfect, to understand how it might be to be Levi. But more than anything Levi wanted the sensation of Erwin's big, warm hand to remain around her wrist forever.
"Captain, I owe you an apology,"
Levi winced at the hurt in Erwin's tone, and turned round to meet her eye.
"I promise you that it was not my intention to have you write a regimen. Rather, I thought I could transcribe your ideas. That was why I had us meet to create the plan, rather than instruct you to do it alone," Erwin smiled, gingerly. "I know you like your alone time."
At this Levi felt a second, rather less violent wave of shame heave over her. She was never nearly this sensitive, and even if Erwin had meant to be malicious she'd had far worse things said to her face. She wondered if she had some deep-rooted insecurity about writing, but had decided that such a thing would've surely arisen at some point in her life. There was no time for such speculating, anyway, because Erwin had not yet let go of her wrist, and Levi was relishing in the feeling as Erwin led her back to the table, as if she might spring away at any second. She'd felt a little disenchanted when Erwin had finally dropped her wrist to pull out a chair for her and vowed to confront these newfound abandonment issues later. Thankfully all Levi had to do was list her training routine, something she was very familiar with, while Erwin scribbled, umm'd and ah'd, and occasionally interrupted with an observation.
"Ah, Captain, I don't wish to pry, but you are descended from Fremen, correct?"
"What's it to you?"
Erwin ran a hand through her hair, furrowing her brow in thought for a moment.
"Your fighting technique. I've noticed some similarities between the way you engage in close combat and some early reports written on the Fremen. You are very precise and you don't make any unnecessary movement for fear of expending precious energy."
"Don't see why the connection matters," Levi said gruffly. "You ever heard of being too keen, Smith? Surely it's not in your job description to source reports from fuckin' eons ago."
Erwin giggled, and Levi decided that she liked the sound.
"Maybe so, but I am trying to learn to better predict things. Have you heard the phrase history repeats itself?"
"We have training for that, Smith. No need to add to your workload by role-playing as a mentat."
"I suppose what I want to predict is a little more distant than that. I would like to best prepare the imperium's army for the centuries to come."
Levi grunted indifferently, and finished her description of her training regimen, imparting every detail to Erwin, who had dutifully filled six pages of her notebook with Levi's wisdom. She smiled at Levi warmly when she realised she was finished.
"And with that, I will let you go. Thank you very much, Ackerman."
Levi gestured to the notebook: "That the regimen?"
"Ah, these are my notes. I'll write them up more concisely now and have copies made tomorrow. I did not wish to keep you here for too long."
Erwin waved it about, as if to demonstrate. Truthfully Levi found reading print difficult. Handwriting was just impossible. Erwin's looked pretty on the page, though, and Levi found herself trying to make out where, if ever, the woman had written her first name. She felt a strong desire to have Erwin take her wrist again and guide it over the page, to point out where Levi's name had been scrawled so she might know what it looked like in Erwin's neat, looping handwriting. Levi thought she might like stay with Erwin, in the archives, watching her write by candlelight.
"How long do you reckon it'll take you to write 'em up?"
"An hour or so, I imagine."
"I'll stay," Levi said gruffly, "So you can read me the finished piece. I don't want you to fuck it up and make me look like an idiot."
Erwin smiled and nodded, and Levi blushed and mumbled something about finding a strategy book to read. Luckily there were a substantial amount with diagrams, so Levi could pretend to read while stealing glances at Erwin and listening to the sound of her breathing. She realised it had been months since she'd spoken that much.
Erwin had explained that she often went to the archives to study, and Levi had made up some excuse about joining her, and the two women fell into a routine. The evenings were uniform, sometimes spent entirely in silence, unless Erwin found a quote she wanted to read to Levi or Levi had a particularly foul joke to tell her commander. Masked under the guise of keeping one another accountable for study was a genuine revelry in the other woman's company and both women found themselves found themselves looking forward for when they might find one another in the archives. Although she'd never admit it, Levi was grateful for the time they spent together. Despite this, she found herself plagued with a new, bothersome amount of self-consciousness. She spent a great deal of the time in the archives gazing at Erwin while the woman worked, noting the colour of the eyes in the candlelight and how her finger traced the sentence she was reading. She'd wondered how she looked peering down at the diagrams in front of her, if, like her, Erwin took small glances when the other was not looking. Afterwards she had chastised herself for being so vain. In an effort to stop overthinking Levi had chalked up her sensitivity on that first night to her being tired, but that hadn't accounted for the sheer amount of awkwardness she felt whenever Erwin caught her eye.
It was an odd break to their routine when Erwin had approached her in the morning, just before training. Even odder, but not unwelcome, was what Erwin was wearing - a long skirt over her leotard and flat shoes. Levi tried to keep her eyes away from the way the fabric clung to the woman's biceps and stretched over her bust.
"Ah, Captain, please come with me."
Levi nodded, and followed Erwin to her office, utterly bewildered. Erwin had opened the door for her and hurried her in, immediately busying herself with making Levi a cup of coffee.
"Smith, why're you dressed like that?" Erwin finished the coffee and set it down on the desk.
"I have been asked to meet with the emperor today in regards to a recent engagement. You and Hanji are the only ones aware of this, there will be an official announcement tomorrow, but I trust you will keep this a secret until then."
Levi sat down begrudgingly opposite her commander, and took a sip of her coffee, eyes following Erwin as she darted about the room, gathering together books and files.
"Gotta look pretty, for the emperor, then?" Levi sneered, from over her coffee cup.
"Our emperor is to be engaged to an ambassador, Levi, and we may therefore gain the fellowship of another army. I expect I will only be needed for a few hours, but if not, I may be slightly late to our reading session tonight."
Levi felt her interest perk. "Hmm? An ambassador? So he wouldn't wife any of his prized army?"
Erwin smiled at that, looking up from her notes.
"Jealous, are we?"
Levi scowled. "I'd rather gouge my other eye out before even touching that monstrosity. And, unlike you, i'm not devoted to the fucking worm. I'm devoted to Arrakis, and I'm devoted to survival."
Erwin hummed. "So I take it I won't be seeing Empress Levi Atreides anytime soon?"
"You wish. Even if he wanted a fish-speaker, and even if I wasn't utterly repulsed by the fucker, I'd be his last fucking choice. Not pretty or polite enough."
Erwin turned to the woman, and Levi felt markedly aware of the scarring that spanned across her face and down her body. Particularly marred was one eye-socket, the unfortunate victim of a knife wound. For whatever reason, her body rejected any replacement that had been grown in a lab, and now more than ever Levi felt uncomfortably aware of its absence. She reached a hand up to adjust her eyepatch. She was no longer interested in the conversation at hand, she decided, and wished more than anything to be invisible. When she snuck a look at Erwin, she found the woman staring back out at her. Erwin's face had lost its humour, the twinkle had left her eyes.
"I don't know, Ackerman. I think you quite lovely."
Levi snickered at that. It was half-hearted, emotionless. "I told you not to take the piss Smith."
"I'm not," Erwin replied, a slight rose dusting her cheeks. "You may not see it, but you're very charming."
Levi snorted. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Erwin smiling shyly.
She was training now, trying to focus on only the dummy in front of her.
Levi imagined Erwin, knelt in prayer at the alter of the God Emperor, skirt pooling over the floor, tight black leotard accentuating her upper body. She thought about the woman's eyelashes brushing against her cheeks, her long hair falling over her shoulders, her brow furrowed in concentration. Erwin would be mouthing a prayer of some sort, soft lips shaping out the words, tongue moving in tandem.
A roundhouse kick to the dummy. The sound of the impact bounced about within the damn thing's hollow torso, it's wobbly arms splaying about and hitting the wall behind it. Levi's frustration reverberated about the training room, and she reached into her pocket.
Levi felt a surge of rage rise up within her as she imagined his eyes falling over the curve of Erwin's breasts, at the shape her skirt might make as it fell about her muscular thighs. She thought about the Ghola reaching a hand around Erwin's waist, large, hairy, masculine hand moving down to her arse.
Levi scowled bitterly, knife flying through the air toward the dummy's neck. The dummies head hit the floor. Levi cursed again, this time at the flimsiness of the damn thing.
The word lovely echoed within her brain.
That afternoon she touched herself while dreaming of Erwin nude, lying in her bed, fantasising of her own small hands pushing Erwin's broad shoulders onto the mattress. How Erwin's taut muscles might feel under her fingers, how she'd lean down to kiss her. The sweetness of Erwin's lips pressed against hers. She'd fantasised about the curves and contour's of her commander's body, how she might trace her tongue down toward the mounds of Erwin's breasts, pressing her mouth onto each one's peak. Tongue trailing light, sandy hair down toward the lowland of Erwin's torso, grey eyes set upon her commander's face.
Levi thought about how blue Erwin's eyes would look against her flushed face, how golden her hair might look splayed about Levi's pillow in the low light of the evening. Levi had mouthed the woman's name, alone in her room, curtains drawn, marvelling at just how good it felt in her mouth, how perfect it felt to stretch her tongue out at the 'Er', to pout her lips slightly at the 'win'.
Leaving the valley, crawling to the depths.
I'd treat Erwin much better than that worm fucker ever could. She thought angrily to herself, and tried her best to simulate how Erwin would sound shrieking her name, breathy, broken cries, loud enough to travel up to the throne room, penetrate the Emperor's ears.
Somewhere on Arrakis the great swell of a wave dissipated as it hit the shore.