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“I…I really can’t thank you enough for answering my ad,” Elsa says as she drums her fingers nervously on the tops of her thighs. “Also I can’t thank you enough for not screaming and running away in terror.”
“O-of course! I mean…I was just browsing Craigslist and well your situation…made mine seem a little more sane you know?” Anna chirps with her own nerves, before taking a long drink from her coffee thermos.
“And God knows Elsa…uh that is …my Elsa could use a playmate that is less dog and more…but also less…human.”
“Your situation is more sane???” Elsa looks incredulously at the copper haired woman next to her. “Your dog turned into a girl…because you wished it!”
She pauses to take a drink from her own coffee thermos.
“And your girlfriend is a zombie.” Anna responds coolly.
Elsa chokes on the hot liquid, covering her mouth as the coffee leaks from the corners of her lips.
“We…we are not dating,” She wheezes and beats her chest with a gloved fist.
“Oh…,” Anna says, resisting the urge to pat the blonde woman on the back to soothe her strangled coughing. That might be an inappropriate invasion of space having just met someone….from Craigslist…it was probably unsafe as well.
“Are…you?” Elsa asks finally when her coughing subsides. She avoids eye contact and looks out instead to the two “ very different” girls sitting in the grass not far away from the park bench their seated on.
“Am I what?”
“Are you two..um…together?” Elsa glances at her from the corner of her eye and motions her head at the girl wearing a collar that was now bounding towards them.
It was Anna’s turn to spew her coffee, spraying both Elsa’s as the other braked to a halt in front of the bench.
The charging Elsa shrieks in surprise before shaking the coffee from her hair and giggling. It does nothing to quell her excitement.
“Anna! Anna! Anna guess what?”
“Oh my GOD! NO!” Anna finally manages with a gasp, looking between the two Elsas with eyes big as saucers.
The Elsa at her feet immediately crouches down submissively at the harsh tone.
“Elsa bad?” She whimpers meekly. “Elsa do something bad?”
Anna softens immediately. “No, no. Elsa is good,” she reassures her with a pat on the head. “I was just having a conversation with…um…with this nice lady here.” She points at the Elsa on the bench. It was probably not a good idea to introduce her as Elsa to ..um..Elsa…there was quite enough confusion already. It was bad enough that they looked so similar. Of course her Elsa wouldn’t know that…she still thought she weighed two pounds and wiggled her butt all the time like she still had a tail.
“Was there something you wanted to tell me?” She asks before giving her Elsa a scratch behind the ear.
“Oh! Yes! Yes! Anna! Anna guess what?”
“What?”
“New friend’s name is Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggghhhhhh.”
“Actually, it’s A,” Nice lady sitting with Anna says. “Her name is A.”
The tag on her collar clinks as Elsa tilts her head curiously.
“A?”
“Mmmhmm,” She nods. “She gets a little excited around new friends. Takes her a little bit to um…enunciate.”
“Enun..enuncinate?” Elsa’s head pitches to the opposite shoulder for maximum display of “whatthefuckdidyoujustsay?”
“Um…she’s just shy…it’s okay…it just means she likes you,” Anna says hurriedly. “Go on now and go play with your new friend A.”
“A like Elsa?” Elsa begins bouncing in place. “A like Elsa?”
“Yes of course she does,” nice lady on the bench says before yelling out to Elsa’s new friend. “A you like Elsa don’t you?”
A turns with a bit of difficulty to look at them over her shoulder.
“Aaa….l-likke…El..saa,” she says before continuing to devour the chocolate bar in her hand.
“A like Elsa!” Elsa claps her hands excitedly before bouncing back to her new friend.
The blonde collapses beside her new friend panting happily. “Elsa like A!” She squeals and commences to roll the grass.
A stops chewing and stares at the strange girl. She turns back towards the Elsa she knows and asks loudly, “El..sa…l-likke..A?”
Elsa cups her hands around her mouth and yells back. “Of course Elsa likes A!”
“This is…so..fucking…weird,” Anna mutters.
Elsa shrugs and puts an arm around the bench. “Oh its fine. They don’t know the difference.”
“Are you absolutely sure your zombie isn’t going to eat my dog?”
”She prefers chocolate.”
****
“What eating?” Blue eyes are unflinchingly close to her mouth as A takes another bite of her candy bar.
“Ch-chorrrc..wate,” she replies slowly with her mouth full and swallows before continuing.”A …l-likke…choc…l-laate.”
“Elsa like biscetti!”
The corners of A’s mouth drop as she tries to process this new bit of information. She looks over her shoulder at Elsa once more.
“Whooo…Bis..cet…ti…El..saa?”
“Why don’t you give your new friend some of your chocolate?” She yells back. “A piece you’ve not eaten off of!”
“NO!” The girl beside her shrieks. Was that Biscetti? She needed to have words with Biscetti. Possibly a lot of threatening growls and teeth flashes as well. “DO NOT GIVE HER CHOCOLATE A!”
Hmmm maybe Biscetti wasn’t all bad. A didn’t want to share her chocolate anyway…with anyone for that matter.
“Miiinnnnnneeeee,” she grumbles and clutches the candy bar tighter with both hands.
****
“Oh right! She’s a dog! I’m so sorry I forgot!” Elsa responds to Anna’s sudden outburst apologetically.
“No…no its not that…I mean she is..but…physically she’s human so I’m sure it’s fine,” the redhead replies,
chewing on her lip. “But she’s already so hyper. I just don’t think it would be a good idea.”
“Good point,” Elsa acknowledges before yelling, “Don’t give her any chocolate A!”
“Miiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnneeeeeee,” comes the low moaning response.
Elsa flashes a nervous smile at the girl beside her. “A isn’t fond of sharing.”
“Ah,” Anna replies simply before their conversation drifts into awkward silence.
“So…um…in the whole scope of things…which would be worse do you think? Necrophilia or bestiality?”
For the second time that day Anna’s coffee erupts from her mouth like a geyser. “Oh my fucking god! What is wrong with you?”
“I mean..hypothetically speaking,” Elsa tries to correct herself. “And to answer your question I’ve been living in an apocalyptic verse for a long time now and lately I’m spending all my time with something that logically should have eaten me already and well…my etiquette is a little askew…a lot askew….I was trying to make small talk…I’m sorry.”
Silence engulfs them again.
“I get it.”
“You…you do?”
“Yeah. Things have been weird as shit here too. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone a little crazy myself,” Anna replies, tugging at her own braids.
“Thanks. Thanks for understanding,” Elsa says and offers her first genuine smile of the day.
“This has been…well this has been different,” The other woman affirms before offering a smile in return.
““But nice.”
“Yeah, it has.”
“NO!” Anna suddenly shrieks leaping to her feet. “Elsa NO!”
“Elllllssssssaaaaaaaaaaaa,” A whines under the assault.
“A!” The strange girl replies gleefully as she continues rolling and rubbing all over her. “A smells wonderful!”
“Stop rolling on A!” Anna scolds as she stomps in their direction. “We are so burning those clothes when we get home young lady!”
“Yeah…,” Elsa says as she jogs over to retrieve her zombie. “Yeah, you’re probably gonna want to do that.”