Work Text:
Simon
It's pretty safe to say that I didn't grow up with music.
Bouncing from care home to care home didn't leave much time, or ability, for it. Honestly, I'd never cared until today. Today, when I can't for the life of me remember what this song is called.
I've been hearing in my head non-stop for the past week and I have no idea what it's called.
The worst part about it all is that it's such a gorgeous song. The music seems to ebb and flow perfectly, starting harshly, dueling through piano and violin, until it break. Suddenly the song is no longer harsh but vulnerable. It's beautiful.
I've decided that Im going to ask Penny. She's always listening to music, she may know what it is. If I know it then she definitely will.
"Simon? Are you feeling alright?" Penny asks me. She looks concerned.
"Of course."
"Alright," she says hesitantly, eyeing me suspiciously, "You're awfully quite this morning."
"Ah. Well..." I start, "There is something I wanted to ask you."
"Simon I swear to god of this is about Agatha or Baz I will-" I cut her off before she continues.
"No, no, nothing like that. Actually I was wondering about music. I don't really know much and this song's been in my head. I can't quite place it but it sounds so familiar." I ramble at her.
"Well you can try singing it for me but I'm not sure I'll be able to place it either." She tells me. I start the song over in my head.
"Okay yeah, one sec," I let her know as I scan my brain.
I attempt to start the song but my throat locks up. I look at Penny. No sound will come out. I stop trying to sing it almost as fast as I started.
"Simon?" Penny asks in concern and what seems to be wonder, "Can you not sing it?"
"I-" I start to speak. "I don't think so?" I say more confused than anything. Why couldn't I sing it? Why can't I speak now? I should probably go see the nurse.....
"Circe, Simon that's great!" Penny exclaims as though my throat didn't just lock up.
"Penny what do you mean that's great?! I might have something wrong with me!" I yell loud enough to get some stares in the dining hall.
"It's your soulmate song Simon, this is great news!" She yells as though all of this information is obvious.
"What the hell is a soulmate song? Why can't I sing it?"
"Look," she says, "I'll explain it all later but we've really got to go to class." Penny packs up her things and leaves the dining hall before I can ask her more questions. I make my way out too and head to my first class.
Baz
Lunch is the best time of day to practice the violin. Hardly anyone is in the music hallway at lunch. Plus, it's one of the few times a day where Simon isn't tracking me like dog. He eats lunch in the library with Bunce. I pull out my violin and a blank piece of sheet music.
Ever since I turned fifteen I've been learning and writing my soulmate song. It may sound sappy but, when I meet my soulmate I want to be able to play it for him. I've resigned myself to the fact that it's not going to be Snow but, whoever he is, I know that he's meant to be with me. I think that if I just meet him it'll force me to get over Simon. Then I won't have to hope.
My fifteenth birthday was two months ago. When I started writing out the music it felt so familiar, the rage that accompanied it. Now it feel off, now it feels light, wistful. I start the song with the same long, hollow note that I hear in my head.
The song's barren and cold notes morph into a fast paced melody that leaves on edge every time I hear it. As I play I stop periodically. I write in notes that I missed, make correction. I want it to be as accurate as possible.
By the time my lunch has passed I've written about twenty more measures, each one with a beautiful, full sound that leaves me longing for the emotion it portrays. When I leave, I leave feeling like I could fly.
Or maybe I leave feeling like I'll fall.
Simon
I find Penny as soon as my last class lets out. She's not hard to find. Every afternoon she goes out on the Great Lawn to study.
I start speaking as soon as I near the tree she's sitting under, "What the bloody hell is a soulmate song?" I ask.
"Do you really not know? I had always assumed The Mage had told you..." she says, almost to herself, "A soulmate song is a song that all mages and their soulmates get. Every soulmate song is unique to the love that will be shared. Some soulmates are romantic and the songs reflect their romance, some are platonic and reflect how you interact. All mages get them when they turn fifteen." I stare at Penny trying to process what I've been told.
"You mean there is someone out there destined to be with me and I am just being told this?!" I almost yell in frustration. It's not her fault I didn't know but, it feels almost ridiculous that no one had ever told me.
"Simon calm down, I can feel the magic coming off of you," Penny said, attempting to calm me down.
I'm panicking. I can't go off on the lawn. It's irrational, there's nothing here. Take a fucking breath Simon.
"Simon," Penny says cautiously, " play the song." She tells me, "Just play it in your mind, calm yourself down."
I didn't go off on the lawn.
Baz
When I eventually got to the top of Mummers this evening, Snow was already there. He was sat on his bed, seemingly bobbing along to something. Ignoring his presence I collected my pajama's to change for bed. When I had changed out of my clothes I brushed my teeth and hair. I exited the bathroom, turning off the lights as I went to my bed.
As I curled up, Simon spoke.
"Why didn't anyone tell me about soulmates?" he asked. He was quiet about it, almost vulnerable.
"I assumed you didn't have one. You know, seeing as you're normal," I spit, lacing as much malice as I could in my voice.
"Oh come off it Baz it was a question. Stop being a wanker." Simon shoots back.
"I'm not being a wanker, I'm being honest. You are normal, or at least you're not a mage." I snarl.
"Well someone could have told me. I never even fucking knew!" He started raising his voice.
"Snow, shut the hell up and let me sleep. If you don't I am going to Cat Got Your Tongue you." I tell him, flipping onto my side so I can glare at him.
"Bloody hell, fine," he says sounding almost as done with me as I am with him.
He turns to go to sleep. I stare at his back as he drifts off. The moon shines on his skin. He's beautiful in the moonlight, his skin shining gold as his breath evens. My mind cant help but drift back to the song that catches me every time.
I try not to let myself hope.
Simon
Ever since I learned soulmates are a thing I can't stop thinking about it. Someone out there is destined to love me. To be there for me. I just have to find them.
Penny told me to learn an instrument so I can play it. She started teaching me scales on the piano. Apparently she plays, she says it's a calming instrument for her. It's a marvelous plan but, I'm absolutely dreadful at piano.
It should come as no surprise. There are so many rules and notes, it's like it was made to be confusing. Penny said I just need more practice. Today she said that we're going to practice at lunch. Penny says that hardly anyone goes to the music hallway at lunch so we can practice without having to spell the room silent.
"So Simon," Agatha interrupts my train of thought, "I was wondering if you wanted to eat with me on the lawn at lunch? I thought it might be good to hang out a bit." I stare at Agatha as though she's speaking another language. She's never quite this eager to hang out. Honestly, she's been quite distant this year.
"Actually I was going to practice piano with Penny at lunch. Any chance you want to come with?" I say trying to include her in our plans.
"I can come with," Agatha says, "My roommate has been off recently." I nod at that. Agatha's roommate has always been fairly bland, she's never been very... present.
I walk with Agatha to class before I go to class. Baz sits across the hall with Dev and Niall. I make sure to send him a proper glare before sitting down.
I feel eyes on me for most of class.
Penny
If I'm being honest we don't really need to practice at lunch. Simon is entirely hopeless on piano, this hour of extra practice isn't going to save this train wreck.
If I'm really being honest I'm only taking Simon there at lunch because I need to be sure. I have a suspicion that the song Baz is always playing when I go to the music hall is Simon's song.
If nothing else, I'll at least be able to cross Agatha off of the list. That's probably for the best. I don't think either of them are entirely interested in the other. The pressure they face just pushes them together.
I'm leading Simon down the music hall while he complains about something Baz didn't during theirs elocution lesson.
"He spoke Latin, Penny! What sort of person speaks Latin if they aren't plotting? The language is dead for a reason!" Simon is waving his hands as he speaks. Music floats through the hall as Simon stops.
Needless to say, I'm not very surprised.
Baz
I shouldn't be surprised anymore when Snow busts through the door and stops over to me.
"How do you know that song?!" He demand angrily, as though I've personally wronged him. I mean, I have in the past, but still.
I pause when I realize what's happening. I make eye contact with Bunce first, who has a knowing look in her eyes. Then Wellbelove, who seems to be shocked to silence.
"I'm guessing the same way you do." I say cooly. Shit.
Realization floods his features. I quickly put away my violin, walking away, leaving Simon gaping.
As I leave I see Bunce hurry towards Simon. I'm halfway down the hall when Agatha speaks up.
"Basil," she says, scurrying towards me as to lower her voice, "I know you don't like him, but don't hurt him."
I snort at that. Then I just laugh. I laugh and laugh and keep laughing, unable to stop. Wellbelove is looking at me like I'm mad. By the time I compose myself there are tears forming in my eyes. I make eye contact with Agatha.
"He's not the one that's going to get hurt." Agatha is stunned when I leave.
Simon
This has to be some cruel joke. It must be. Penny is by my side. I can tell she doesn't know what to say right now. I think I do.
"You know," I start, sounding much more optimistic than expected, "when so think about it, this kind of makes sense." Penny's eyebrow raises in shock.
"And how's that?" Her words are hesitant and soft, like I'm a frightened child.
"I mean think about it. I've pretty much always been obsessed with him. He's right fit. And he's been just about as obsessed with me as I've been with him. Maybe we weren't enemies." I pause to consider what I've said. I only really think about my words when I say them. "Actually we were enemies but we don't have to be. I don't want to be." I look up at Penny.
"You're taking this better than I expected." She says looking impressed.
"Maybe so but, Baz and I haven't acted like enemies in a while and I think with some work, this could work out." As I talk I surprise myself. Since when did I think this rationally? When did I apply that to Baz?
All I know is that I need to talk to him.
Baz
When Snow finds me he's like a tornado. He comes in quick and with a bang.
He bursts into our room, slamming the door open with wide eyes. He lets out a breath of release when he spots me.
"Oh thank god, I couldn't find you anywhere" He closes the door shut and walks to stand next to where I am on my bed.
"Yes, I do live here Snow," I say icily. I know I'm putting up walls. It's all I know how to do around him.
"It's just," he sighs again, "I looked everywhere and couldn't find you. I was scared you were avoiding me."
"I don't see any reason for me to not avoid you right now, Snow."
"Don't call me that." Simon snaps. "My name is Simon and you shouldn't be avoiding me." He's so worked up, I just want to grab him by the shoulders and tell him to get a grip.
"Well, sorry for not wanting to immediately be rejected by my soulmate, Simon." I say his name like a curse. It doesn't do it justice.
His face softens at that. He softens. His shoulders that were once up high, right with stress, drop.
"Who says I was going to reject you?" I look up at him, shocked. He meets my gaze fiercely. Still, this look is new, it's one I've never seen before, it's passionate where there used to be disdain.
I stand up, grabbing his wrist lightly, keeping eye contact as I go. I think I want to kiss him, but I don't think I can.
Then, he kisses me. I close my eyes and meet him halfway. Simon, Simon, Simon, it's all I can think. The boy who I never dared to let myself have, here, kissing me. It's a good kiss. Simon kisses like he's searching for an answer that he can only find on my lips. He's soft and passionate and his lips tell me everything he can't say with his words. He wants me here, if i'll have him.
My walls crumble.
When we stop kissing I pull away. I reach down under my bed and pull out my violin case.
Playing the song comes naturally to me now, so does the look I give Simon.
I funnel all of my emotions into what I play.
Simon
Its pretty safe to say I didn't grow up with music.
But I'll be damned if I don't love it.