Work Text:
Hey! if you're reading this then yoiu mucsth wanted want to be a good manajer, if not- then keep reading i guess. Not likr i can control you-
anyway, every step i wrote is crucial to your succes. So you HAVE to follow every one of them.
Step 1 : Have/get a job
Sometimes you can get a job by doing a definetly fool-proof method that i invented, i like to call it
Sleep
you used the method by sleeping at random place, i usually slept in a dumpster at your local cafee or coffee shops, or uh grocery stores?
i don't and will not recommended to try this method with government based corporation. It won't work. Trust me- i tried. They will just thought you're another body to dispose.
Step !?@ : Befriend a supervillain.
Step 2 : Be a manager
Once you have a job or more, (doesn't matter, but usually more means more chances for you to be a manager) you just. Work.
keep grinding, crush your competition, FUCK CASUAL WORK GRIND, GO COMPETITIVE. Your boss will notice your amazing (but not as amazing as me ofcourse) work ethic that is definatly not out of fear and promote you- from whatever job you started as to a manager.
Congratulation! you are a manager now.
Step 3 : Don't be a dick.
Just- don't be a dick to your co-worker and every other people i guess?? It's easy as that, i don't get why it's so hard to do- (ps. if you are a dickhead before reading this, then stop being one)
Except IF they deserved it, (like karens or someone named Jared. Fuck you Jared, give me my 2 dollar fornite gift card back) you can unleash your inner Tommyinnit at them
Step 4 : Interact with other
Yeah, this is, is the hardest part, anxiety am i right?
For this step, a good communication and bullshitting skill are very handy to have
-Interaction with other includes : simply talking to your co-worker and customer, help them when in need of one, have a good relationship with them, charm them with cool pictures of fluffy cows and moths.
Make them your goons, they won't even realised they are hypnotised by the pictures of fluffy cows and moths you printed on a diy printer machine your roommate (which you totally should have) made with samsung refrigator.
step 5 : Make them do your chores
The people you have charmed will now do things you say, you can make them do almost everything. Like do your homework, wash your appartment, be a stand in vigilante for you and many other stuff
step 6 : rest
Take a step back and see how far you have gone. Be proud of it.
Step 7 : GET KICKED OUT OF YOUR APPARTMENT AND DISSAPOINT YOUR ROOMMATES (AND ALSO GET IN JAIL FOR A SECOND TIME AFTER ATTEMPTING TO ROB A BANK)
Step 8 : Get escape jail with help of your supervillain friends
Step 9 : Get adopted by your supervillain friends
Step 1 0 : Drag your friends into it