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December 10th. One whole day after Abed’s breakdown, and Annie is more worried than ever.
“Jeff?” She calls out as she knocks on the door.
She waits a moment and can vaguely hear shuffling behind the door but there’s no answer.
She knocks rhythmically again. “Jeff? I wanna talk about Abed! I’m still worried” she calls out losing hope of him answering the door, assuming he’s just ignoring her.
“Please? I’m really worried” she tries a final time, her voice cracking.
Jeff, who is stood completely dishevelled on the other side of the door, feels his heart crack when her voice does. He knows she needs him, they’re each others safest supports, the person the other cares about the most.
But the thought of her catching him here? Like this?
With her?!
She would lose every ounce of respect he’s gained from her over the last year and a half.
And that means too much to lose.
“Annie? I-I uh- I’m really sorry I have uh- company but can I call you in a bit?” He finally finds the strength to call back. He leans on the other side of the door, arm braced above his head, forehead leaning on the wood as he peers through the peep hole, seeing her face drop right before his eyes as he answers and she realises he has no intentions of letting her in.
Annie knows he’s on the other side of the door, can feel the vibrations of his voice through the wooden frame.
And yet he doesn’t even open it on the chain to let her see him.
Her stomach drops at the thought of him sleeping with someone else, though she desperately tries to ignore it. She knows he sleeps around, she knows he has no interest in her.
This shouldn’t be any shock to her.
And yet it feels like a punch to the gut, nevertheless.
“Oh, I’m sorry for interrupting. I’ll uh-“
“You didn’t interrupt Don’t be sorry” he tried to speak over her to reassure her, but she just carries on talking.
“-no I did, I did, I’ll uh, I’ll go see Troy instead.” She says, leaving as fast as she can with a small wave to the door and a grimaced fake-smile on her face, one she knows Jeff will see right through.
She’s walking out of the front of the building over to her car when she stops abruptly, as fast (and feeling like) as though she’d been struck by lightening.
Because three cars down from her own she sees it.
She sees the beat-up, red Honda Civic with Green peace logos stuck along the back window and a dent from the greendale parking lot on the rear bumper.
Her breathing picks up and she feels tears burning at the back of her nose and eyes.
She is not going to cry over this.
At least not in public.
Once she gets into her car and away from this building, then she can do what she pleases.
As she pauses briefly in the nearly empty road, head turned in the direction of the red car, Jeff feels his stomach drop to the floor as he watches her out the window.
She knows.
Annie knows he was up here having sex with Britta, and he can’t undo this or talk his way out of it.
He almost would prefer if Annie came storming back in to confront him about it, but it somehow feels worse when she just stands up a little bit straighter and gets into her own car, driving around the corner and out of sight.
Britta looks up at Jeff, them now dressed as Jeff didn’t want to resume their previous activities, far too in his own head about how he was going to make it up to Annie about leaving her out in the hallway and turning her away without so much as looking at her, when she was coming to him with concerns about their friend.
“She just saw your car..” Jeff mumbles under his breath, looking and sounding distraught, Britta just looking confused.
“I know we don’t want the group to be all up in our business, but if anything Annie is the one person who would keep it to herself. Why are you so bothered by this?” She asks him, genuinely confused at his utter anguish.
“Because she- Annie and I, we have this, I don’t know, mutual understanding that- I’m not even sure. I just really, really care what she thinks about me, okay? And just- the thought of disappointing her?! I just can’t- I don’t know. I can’t have her think I don’t care about her-“
“Oh my g-d, you’re in love with her..” Britta says as a statement, not a question.
“What?! N-no she’s- she’s my best friend. She’s the person I care most about - no offence-“ he adds, her just shaking her head at him to say she’s not offended. “I’d do anything for her and I don’t want her to think after today that me having sex is more important than her..” Jeff continues to ramble.
“Jeff Winger, you just told me a girl’s feelings are more important than sex to you.” Britta says with a smile, astounded at how this is still Jeff and yet Annie can turn him into such a flustered mess.
“Well, her’s are” he says, running a hand down his face wondering how to fix this all.
Annie let’s tears flow to the extent it’s safe to keep driving until she can get to Hawthorne manor. She tells herself how she should have just gone to Troy in the first place. How it wouldn’t have hurt if she had. How she wouldn’t be sad. That he’s care more about Abed anyway.
He’d care more about her anyway.
No, that’s not fair, she chastises herself. Jeff really cares, she knows he does. He doesn’t always show it but deep down, she knows him better than anyone else. She knows the real him.
The real him who currently has a naked Britta in his bed.
She takes in a shaky breath and keeps her breathing as steady as she can until she gets to Hawthorne manor.
The drive way is big, but she likes that it gives her time to pull herself together.
Once she parks she checks her visor mirror to see if her makeup has run, and thankfully it hasn’t, even though her eyes do look a little watery and red.
She grabs her handbag and checks her phone is inside. She has a couple missed calls from Jeff she can see flashing up on the screen, but she just zips the bag closed and rings the doorbell.
“Yes?” She hears a woman answer over the speaker question - Annie realising immediately it’ll be a housekeeper.
“Hi I’m Annie Edison, is Troy Barnes in?” She asks.
“Oh Miss Edison - you’re on Mr Hawthornes approved list. Both men are in the screen room, I’ll go get Mr Barnes for you. Please, come in” she hears before a telltale buzzing of an electronic door being unlocked. She pushes the door open and steps inside, marvelling at the bizarre decor.
She waits a few moments before both Pierce and Troy arrive to check she’s okay, concerned looks on both their faces at her unexpected arrival.
“Annie! Are you okay?” Pierce asks, concerned. She’s never visited before.
“Yeah, yeah I’m good sorry I didn’t call ahead first. I was just wondering if I could talk to Troy for a while? In private?” She asks, Troy standing there unquestioning anything but Pierce - who thinks he understands why she’s there - just nods and winks at her.
“You two kids have fun, okay?” He says before clapping Troy on the shoulder and walking off.
“What was that about?” Troy asks, oblivious.
“Don’t worry, just Pierce being Pierce. Can we talk in your room?” She asks rocking on her heels.
“Of course, it’s in the other wing” he says, still not used to saying that, and Annie seemingly boggled by it too.
“You look like you’ve been crying” Troy notes as they walk down the plethora of hallways to his room.
Troy opens the door for her as she walks in, sighing.
“Yeah, but I’m just being silly” she says far more meakly than he’s ever heard her before.
“Hey, you can talk to me. You know that right?!” He asks, caringly.
She sighs and sits down on his bed. “I actually came over to talk about Abed. I went to Jeff’s but he was- uh, busy.. so I came here to talk to you about it” she explains.
Troy gets a lot of flack for being the airhead of the group, but that doesn’t mean he’s not perceptive when he’s looking to be.
“You’re sad Jeff was busy?” He asks, her head snapping up to look at him.
“No.. I’m-“ she sighs and lays back on Troy’s bed, feeling far more comfortable and safe than she’d ever expected to in a place she’s never been before.
“It was more about the thing he was doing and who he was doing. But I’m just being delusional. He said it himself a few months ago, I’m just ‘young flesh’, he was never actually interested in me” she says sadly, rolling onto her side to look away from Troy, which doesn’t work because he comes to lay on the opposite side of the bed - them now facing each other.
“You’re not delusional, Annie” he tries to reassure her.
“I spent all of high school and half of freshman year of college in love with a guy who’d never see me as anything more than little Annie Adderall, and then kissed a guy who turned out slept with our friend the week before and was hung up on him for months, and am now sad about it again. Sounds pretty fucking delusional to me” she says sadly.
“Woah, stop right there-“ he says, reaching out to hold her hand in a non-romantic way, just pure genuine support and physical contact which he know grounds her.
“I had no idea how you felt about me. And even if I had I would never have deserved someone as amazing as you-“
She scoffs in response, but he squeezes her hand to bring her focus back in.
“I mean it. That day Jeff and Britta told me how you felt, I felt like someone had finally explained the secrets of the universe to me. And I’m so, so sorry for every time I was mean to you in high school. I was a jerk. That says more about me than about you, though. I was so mad at them after they told me too, though, because I suddenly realised now only how you’d felt but how insanely out of my league you are.” he reassures her.
“I’m not out of your league” she replies genuinely disbelieving.
“Yes, you are. And if you still felt the way you felt about me in high school I’d never give up the chance again. But we both know your heart is elsewhere now” he whispers like it’s some massive secret.
Annie sniffles. “My heart is currently with a guy who’s naked in bed with a girl who’s supposed to be my friend, so I’m pretty sure my heart needs a new home” she says, voice cracking a little, it totally breaking Troy’s heart.
“Oh come here-“ he whispers, pulling her into his chest. He lies on his back holding her to him as she clings onto him for support. “Let’s work on you getting your heart back for yourself for now. Where it goes after that is another day’s task, okay?” He whispers.
She nods. “And in the mean time, we can have platonic cuddles, right?” She asks him, looking up with the doe eyes that he can totally understand why Jeff can never say no to.
“Of course. Honestly, I love cuddles. I’d be more than happy to be an extra pair of arms for you any time you like” he tells her, her happily squeezing him as a thanks.
Troy grabs a blanket and pulls it over the two of them.
They enjoy a few moments of holding each other, the peace and calm it brings them both. Be it platonically or because they both would be open to something more, they just need some comfort in this moment and can give it to each other.
“What did you want to talk to me about Abed about?” He asks, low volume to keep their peace bubble.
“I wanna find a way to help ground him more often. To try and make sure we don’t have a repeat of yesterday. Something we can do to keep him in the real world. I don’t know, a texture? Something to hold or feel? Something to watch? Taste? Hear? I’m not sure. I just know we can’t let him feel as alone as he did today” she says, voice cracking as she thinks of how upset Abed had to be to fall into a delusion.
Troy turns his head so he’s facing Annie’s forehead, placing a sweet kiss into her hair. “That’s the best idea I’ve heard. It’ll be amazing. We’ll figure out the specifics, but I mean it Annie that’s genius. Abed’s so lucky to have a friend like you. We all are” Troy tells her, holding her even closer like they both needed.
Both realising that sometimes you just need to be held, and it’s okay to be that for each other even if you’re not romantically involved.
Troy traces his fingertips up and down Annie’s arms, the rhythm soothing her to a light sleep as she finally rests after a very long couple of days.
From the side table Troy can hear buzzing of Annie’s phone.
The first time he hears it he ignores it. If it’s important they’ll call back.
The second time it rings he realises it’s probably important - but so is Annie’s sleep and comfort.
The third time he gets concerned, so he reaches over her to pull the bag over until he can reach the phone.
He picks up the call, his own voice sounding sleepy, as he sees it’s only Jeff calling.
“Jeff?” Troy croaks our.
“T-Troy?! I thought I called Annie” he says, confused.
Troy replies whispering so as to not to wake the girl in his arms. “You did, she’s sleeping, I didn’t want to wake her cause it’s been a rough couple days” he explains over Annie’s phone to their friend.
“Yeah, no, of course. She needs to rest. Are you at hers?” He asks, trying not to pry where he knows he has no right, but unable to help himself.
The person he cares about most in the world is sleeping with (well, is asleep with) the boy she was in love with for years.
His stomach isn’t suppose to twist like it currently is, he tells himself.
“No we’re at Pierce’s, she came over to talk about Abed. She has some really great ideas to help him” Troy explains, looking down at Annie asleep in his arms, his heart swelling at the idea his friend feels so safe in his arms she can rest like this.
“Yeah she came over to tell me then but I was uh- preoccupied” Jeff explains.
“I heard” is all Troy says, Jeff’s whole body feeling like he’s been dunked in ice water.
“Y-you, uh- you did?” He asks nervously “She doesn’t think I don’t care about her, right? Cause it wasn’t about choosing someone else over-“
“Jeff that’s a conversation to have with her, not me” Troy interrupts Jeff’s rambles.
“Yeah, yeah you’re right. Sorry. I just, the idea she could think she’s anything less than the most important person in the world to me..” he spills out.
“I’ll get her to phone you tomorrow. Get some sleep, Jeff” Troy tells him, not unkindly but not giving him more sympathy than he needs.
“You too. Look after her, okay?” Jeff asks Troy.
“Of course. She’ll speak to you tomorrow Jeff” he reassures him.
“Night, Troy” Jeff finishes the call with.
Troy hangs up the phone, putting it down and settling back down to sleep with Annie in his arms.
Troy thinks about the conversation with Jeff, how he’s never seen Jeff so worried about what someone else thinks before. Superficially, sure, he cares about his appearance both literally and metaphorically - but to truly care that Annie knows how he feels? That’s big, especially so for Jeff.
Jeff holds his blackberry in his hand, still unable to move after phoning all night to try and speak to Annie and getting Troy instead.
She’d be better with someone like Troy , his mind tells him. She’s been in love with him forever, he’s age appropriate, he’s not a bad person, he’s not sleeping with their friend.
Unable to quite understand what’s going on in his head, nor his heart, but knowing full well what he’s feeling now - he dials another number.
“Hey. It’s me. You were right.. I’m in love with her. And..” he sighs” I don’t know how to be okay with it” he says, voice breaking as his sinuses burn with the tears he’s holding back.
He’s in love with Annie Edison.
How is he supposed to be okay?