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Mitsuki’s shawl slips through her fingers as she tries to fix it. She shrugs, letting it fall off one shoulder. In front of her, Masaru fumbles with the house keys. They’re both a little drunk after a lovely dinner date and decided to come home to wrap it up.
A giggle bursts through her as Masaru manages to knock his glasses off his face, he still hasn’t unlocked the door. She gives him a little shove and tosses her clutch at him as she grabs the keys. Predictably, it falls on the floor.
They’re both laughing softly by the time they manage to get into the foyer but it’s cut short abruptly when they hear a scream bounce off the house walls. Their eyes meet but before they can register the terror, the sound stretches from a scream to a moan.
She watches Masaru’s eyes widen and his mouth snap shut. She wonders if she looks the same. Their house is built sturdy - thick walls and solid doors. It’s a given with Mitsuki and Katsuki under one roof. So whoever is making those high-pitched screams is loud.
She moves to shut the door because her husband is frozen in shock and jumps a little when more noises become apparent in their silence - skin slapping skin, a headboard banging against a wall, and moaning - oh God, so much moaning.
“Mitsuki,” Masaru’s voice is a pained whisper.
“Shh,” she says because that voice moaning and screaming and fucking whimpering sounds a little too fucking familiar. That’s her son! Doesn’t matter if he’s sounding like a little bitch, she gave birth to him, she can recognize him anywhere!
“Ahhhh! Harder! GO HARDER!”
Masaru’s face turns red. He looks absolutely stupified. Mitsuki has to bite her cheek to keep from laughing out loud.
“Hey,” she nudges him with her foot, “let’s go upstairs…quietly.”
Masaru manages a small nod and she takes his hand as she drags him up the stairs as slow and silent as she can.
Which isn’t a lot as she drops her clutch and has to cover Masaru’s mouth to keep him from crying but luckily, it looks like her son is a little too busy to pay attention.
Masaru, on the other hand, is not as lucky because as they near the top of the stairs, everything becomes a lot noisier.
“Mmmnh, eeiiii, please give me more, pleeeasseee!”
They hear a deep, almost scary growl from whoever the other person is and even from this distance, they can hear the pace pick up. Katsuki starts screaming again.
“Yes! Yes! Oh god, don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stooooppp!”
Mitsuki notices Katsuki’s door is slightly ajar and shakes her head. No fucking wonder they can hear everything. Masaru pulls on her hand and she lets him pull her away.
They rush through their end of the hallway. As soon as they’re in their room with the door firmly shut behind them, Masaru cries out, “baby! What the hell!”
“Looks like our boy is all grown up,” she says with a grin.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Oh covering the door so he doesn’t realize we’re home,” Mitsuki says as she bundles her shawl under the door to prevent any light from leaking out into the hallway.
“Right,” Masaru says dumbly.
“We’re also still wearing out shoes,” Mitsuki points out, laughing at her husband’s horrified expression. “It’s fine. We’ll just call the cleaners over. Katsuki’s room can probably use a deep clean!” she can’t stop the guffaw at that.
“How can you say that!?” Masaru sounds aghast, “baby, I’m not ready to give him the talk!”
“The talk?” Mitsuki questions.
“Y-you know! The sex talk!” his voice drops comically at the word sex.
Mitsuki raises an eyebrow, “Love, it sounds like he should be the one giving us the talk.”
Masaru covers his ears and walks away from her to the bathroom.
With him gone, she finally lets herself laugh without shame. This is the funniest thing she’s ever experienced. Her little Katsuki! Sounding so… so unlike himself. So meek and needy. She’s going to ride this high for the rest of her life.
When they climb into bed, Masaru gives her a kiss and says, “do you think it’s bad that he didn’t tell us he’s gay?”
“He’s gay?” she asks with a gasp.
“Baby…I mean, I don’t want to say a woman can’t make a man sound like that but the other person sounded very masculine,” Masaru sighs.
“I was kidding, dummy,” she flicks his forehead. He pouts so adorably that she can’t help but give him a kiss.
Katsuki came out to her when he was a little, little boy. She promised him she wouldn’t tell his father until he was ready to. But Masaru still looks troubled, so she tells him,
“I don’t think it’s a problem, love. He probably just doesn’t think it’s a big deal to ‘come out.’ The bigger question is who did he find willing to put up with his loud ass.”
She gasps for real this time, “oh my god, Masaru! His loud ass!” she breaks into laughter again and Masaru mutters, sounding very done with her.
“Still, shouldn’t he have felt comfortable enough to tell us?” he asks.
“Why? I mean he knows I’d be fine with it. He knows I’m hip, with the times, cool, all that,” Mitsuki shrugs, “I don’t know about you.”
“Honey…I know you like to pretend I have never wanted anyone but you. But you are aware I’ve actually dated a man, right?” Masaru sighs.
Mitsuki narrows her eyes at him.
“I am bisexual,” he says slowly.
“What you are is in love with me and me alone and that’s all that matters,” she replies just as slowly.
Masaru groans and rubs his eyes, “yes dear.”
“We’re going to pretend I never said this but you should tell him about your past. Especially now. He’ll appreciate knowing you have experiences he can learn from,” she says. She really is fine with Masaru’s sexuality. She just doesn’t like hearing about anyone her husband has liked except her. She’s a little possessive that way but just this once, for her son.
Masaru smiles at her fondly, “okay, baby. Not that anyone ever comes close to you.”
“Good,” she says, feeling a little better about the whole thing.
“Let’s ask him tomorrow,” Masaru says, bringing her attention back to their son.
“Oh, so you’re willing to acknowledge that our son is having sex? Loud, passionate, good sex?” she teases.
“Let me rephrase,” Masaru groans, “I’ll talk to him much later, and tomorrow, you can ask him.”
“You bet I will,” she grins.
She leans over to flick her lamp off and falls into sleep absolutely delighted.
Mitsuki hums to herself as she asks her fancy coffee machine to prepare a cappuccino for her. Even her hangover won’t ruin her mood today.
She can hear Katsuki stomping down the stairs. She allows herself a moment to grin before she schools her face into her usual morning grouchiness.
“Mornin’,” she nods at Katsuki. He glares at her and takes out his own cup. She moves hers away so he can choose his drink of choice.
“Want some toast?” she asks.
“Why are you being so nice?” he asks suspiciously.
Shit.
“Fine! Go fuck yourself,” she says and sits down at the dining table. She starts buttering toast anyway because she knows her son.
“Ugh, you’re so annoying! Yes, I would like some fucking toast,” he grouches.
Mitsuki’s charade nearly breaks when she notices the wince on Katsuki’s face as he sits. She quickly takes a sip of her coffee to hide her smirk.
“Where’s dad?” Katsuki asks when he’s settled into his chair.
“Avoiding,” she replies.
“Huh?” his eyebrows furrow and Mitsuki has to stop herself from cooing at how calm her son is this morning.
“He had something to do,” she says with a wave of her hand, not bothering to come up with a lie.
“‘Kay,” Katsuki says as he munches on his toast.
“So, we got home early last night,” Mitsuki says casually, reveling in the joy of watching Katsuki choke on his toast.
He smacks his chest and coughs so he can breathe.
“W-what? I - I mean, why?” Katsuki manages to say after he’s taken a deep breath.
“Ah, we had too much to drink and you know, your father just wants to cuddle and be affectionate when he gets like that,” she takes another sip of her amazing cappuccino.
“Gross! Don’t tell me that!” Katsuki snaps.
She rolls her eyes, “anyway, what were you up to?”
He’s watching her carefully but heck, she’s a master poker player. She’s got this. He finally relaxes, thinking he’s safe.
“Nothin’. Just went to bed early,” he grumbles.
Mitsuki nods and lets her son finish his breakfast in peace because she’s not that terrible. But she is also a little terrible, you have to be to have fun in life! So she waits until he takes a sip of his strange spiced tea before she puts a gold tray full of condoms and lubes in front of him.
He spits out the tea. Fuck!
“You’re cleaning that,” she snaps.
“Ma, what the FUCK?” Katsuki screams.
Mitsuki cackles, “oh yeah, did I forget to add we heard you last night?”
Katsuki’s turned completely red. It’s astounding to see her son blushing like this. He doesn’t even have words. She even patiently waits a few minutes but he says nothing, just staring at the tray as if it killed him in a past life.
“Kid, ya know we’re fine with it, right?” Mitsuki adds in, ‘cause fuck he should know that maybe.
“Fine with what?” he says finally.
“You bringing over random men so they can fuck you till you’re crying,” she grins.
“MA! YOU CAN’T SAY THAT!” Katsuki screams again.
“Well, I just did. Plus you look so cute, all pink like this. Maybe I should get a blush in this shade,” she says.
“I - I -YOU - YOU’RE FUCKING INSANE!” Katsuki looks like steam is going to start coming out his ears.
“Did I break you?” she laughs.
Katsuki looks away from her and takes several deep breaths.
“It’s not someone random,” he mumbles.
It’s Mitsuki’s turn to be shocked.
“Uh…you…you know him,” he adds, biting his lip and looking nervous.
“Know him?” Mitsuki parrots.
Katsuki’s eyes flit about. He looks adorable and shy.
“It’s, um, it’s recent. I really like him,” he admits.
“Aw sweetheart,” she coos, unable to keep it in.
“Shut up,” he grumbles, “you thought I was a slut!”
“Nothing wrong with being a slut,” she snaps back and suddenly has a realization, “wait…wait. Sweetheart, honey, I love you…but you…you’re not dating Izuku, are you?”
“Maaaa!” Katsuki looks horrified. Fuck, she shouldn’t have said that. She should be supportive!
“It’s just…he’s so…and you’re so…I just don’t see it. I mean. He’s good in bed?” she can’t stop herself! Her angry little son dating the timid, mousy Midoriya kid?
“Ewwwww, you’re the fucking worst!” Katsuki yells.
“Ugh. I know. Okay, okay. I am sorry. I’ll try to be supportive, okay? This is just a lot to take in,” she sighs.
“Don’t fucking take anything in! I’m not dating that damned nerd!” Katsuki throws his face into his hands.
“Oh thank god,” she breathes out in relief. She’ll have to send Inko some mochi to make up for her horrible thoughts. But for now, Katsuki has her full attention, “who then?”
“Now I don’t wanna tell you,” he pouts.
“Oh come on! Don’t be like that. You had the same reaction. I mean bless him, he’s a great kid. But -”
“Can you stop?” Katsuki cuts in, “I don’t ever want to fucking think of this again.”
She nods, “understandable. Me either. Soooo?”
“UGH! Fine! It’s Eijirou,” he throws his hands in the air dramatically to hide how tense he is about the whole thing.
“Eijirou? Oh, the ‘Eiiiii!’ Yeah that makes sense,” she muses and quickly ducks out the way to avoid the pear Katsuki has just thrown at her, “don’t give me shit when you were announcing it to the whole world!” she yells.
“You weren’t supposed to be home!” he yells back.
“Whatever! Who’s Eijirou? You said I know him but I don’t remember,” she says as she racks her brain for Katsuki’s few friends. Not the yellow-haired one, she hopes. He’s always trying to sneak looks at her. Now that’s what you call awkward.
“It’s…it’s the redhead,” Katsuki mumbles.
“Oh! The Kirishima boy!” she snaps her fingers as his face comes into her mind. Katsuki’s eyes widen as he looks at her. She has to smile at that. If he wants his mother’s approval for this, he’ll get it.
“He’s a sweetheart,” she gushes, “I can’t get over how he bowed so low when he met me. And didn’t he send some sweets home at the beginning of this year?”
“He did,” Katsuki ducks his head, the corner of his mouth turning up.
“Well, I like him,” she says.
“So do I,” he shoots back with a soft smile. All the tension has loosened in his shoulders. Mitsuki’s smile grows. Love looks good on her son.
“And it sounds like he really knows how to handle you!”
She has to duck to avoid the apple this time.