Work Text:
Kat was at the dentist, it was very routine as Kat had perfect teeth. Always. She would never ever skip a day of brushing. Dentist appointments were pretty pointless really, she’s only ever had 6 cavities in her life, and she was about to graduate next year, but I digress.
While she was waiting to get called back, she began to flip through various magazines, mostly the hunting ones cause those are the best ones ever. All those orange jumpsuits and rifles, oh it’s wonderful!
“kat? The doctor will see you now” the attendant called.
She stood up and followed the attendant back to one of the little rooms with the reclining motorized chairs.
“he will be here shortly, so please wait here for him.”
“Ok, thank you.” She said. She wandered around for a few moments, waiting for the doctor to arrive.
“Hello Kat!” he said bursting through the opening. “Are you ready to get started?”
“yes. I am so ready for this.” She replied.
“then please, sit in the chair, and I’ll give you the mouth numbing shots, and we’ll be done before you even know it!” He said gesturing to the recliner.
“no Mr. Dentist man, you get in the chair.” She said as she flipped him over her shoulder and into the chair.
“wha-why are you doing this?!”
“I have a problem with not having control in any situation. I most certainly do not bottom.” She said as she climbed on top of him and started rummaging on the table to find the syringe full of numbing chemicals.
“But I’m married! I have kids!” he cried out.
“And now they will call me daddy.” She said, jabbing the needle into his neck, and ramming the plunger home.
“you see mister doctor man-“
“my name is Drew.” He interrupted.
“and now it’s my name. You see Kat, that’s you now, I’ve been following you arrowed for the last few weeks. Turns out, I really like your family, but I don’t wanna make my own. So I’m taking yours.” Drew, who was once Kat, began searching for another syringe full of stuff.
“why would you do that?” she asked, and he emptied another one into her neck.
“because you’re rich, and your wife will never know the difference.” He grabbed a pair of pliers and decided that it was going to be used to slowly rip out her eyes to speed the unfortunate doctors demise. “but mostly, because you’re an abusive ass.”
“I’ll change, I promise!”
“It’s too late, I need your eyes!” and he began to gouge out her eyes.
“well, shit. I guess I’ll die now.” And so she did.
“thank you mister doctor, I’m going to go live your life now. But first, I have to put your corpse into my trunk.”
And so, the new Drew left to begin their life as a doctor in a field they had never studied, and, somehow managed to never have a malpractice law suit, proving once and for all, dentistry was total bullshit, and didn’t really mean anything! Some things are like that, and teeth are one of those things.
Epilog:
Years later, Drews new surprise wife has decided to go shopping. And as she puts the groceries discovers a slightly rotted corpse in the trunk of her car. Surprised, she called her husband.
“Dear, there’s a body in the car, and it looks like you. What happened?”
“oh, well that’s my old patient. She was a bit of a bitch. So I killed her.”
“oh is that all. Why didn’t she decompose very much, and what happened to her eyes?”
“I injected her with a hell of a lot of chemicals, and then took them out with a pair of pliers.”
“ok.”
The end.
