Chapter Text
Do you ever have that feeling that you aren't good enough? Like you try everything to do the right thing, and it still wasn't enough. You had that feeling all the time.
Being the oldest Maximoff, you, meaning you got all the crap. It was your fault you and the twins ended up like you are today. Or that is what everybody else said. Like you could stop the twins when they had something in their heads. They consistently chose each other and left you to clean up the mess.
When Wanda and Pietro joined HYDRA, you followed to protect them. For the most part, you did, get the harshest punishments. The most brutal experiments were always for you cause you didn't want your siblings going through that. After everything was done, you and Wanda seemed to have developed the same powers. The only difference was that magic was red, and yours was blue.
Even in those days, you were the second choice, always getting the brunt of the hammer.
Then Ultron came, and you told Wanda and Pietro he shouldn't be trusted, but you were outvoted by your siblings. Like you always were. Until this day, you still get reminded of what a bad choice it was while Wanda and Pietro get a free pass. Nobody talks about how against it you were. No, all they talked about was how Pietro almost died, forgetting you took a bullet so he could get out of the way.
You hoped that joining the Avengers would be the turn-around in your lives you needed. Not for you, at least for your siblings, and they could be brats sometimes, but they were still family.
Being at the Avengers was like HYDRA all over again for you. Never chosen first for mission and everybody always complained when you did go with them. Eventually, you were sent on solo missions, and you thrived on those. On your first day off training, Captain America himself told you in not so kind words that you had to figure out your powers on your own. While Wanda got the archer and Captain America to dote on her. Pietro wasn't much help, either. He always chose Wanda's side. Leaving you out and making you feel like an outsider more and more every day.
The only light in your life was Natasha Romanoff. The redhead had formed a bond with you the first couple of weeks that you were at the Tower. She helped you train, helped you get over the emotional guilt of Pietro's almost dead. She was the thing that kept you going. Over time you noticed that the feelings you had for your teammate weren't strictly platonic.
So the next week, you tried to distance yourself from Natasha, telling yourself you weren't food enough for her. The ex-assassin noticed your behaviour change quickly, cornered you in the locker room after training one day, and demanded you tell her what was going on. Under her intense gaze, you just blurted it out.
"it's because I love you!" you had your eyes closed and held your breath, waiting for her to laugh at you. Tell you were delusional, that she was far out of your reach, and you knew that. But those words never came. Instead, she grabbed your face and kissed it passionately.
You had just come back from a month-long mission. Both physically and mentally exhausted, the only thing keeping you on your feet at the moment was the prospect of feeling your girlfriend in your arms tonight. You had been able to finish your mission a couple of days early. Asking Fury to not tell anybody about this, you wanted to surprise Natasha
This cause you to sneak around the Tower, hoping to not be seen before you reach your shared room. Knowing she was home because you asked Fury if Natasha had any mission planned, he told you he didn't. You also knew looking at the time of day, she liked to be in her room, unwinding before going to bed.
However, when you entered nobody was there. In fact, it looked like the room had been unoccupied for a couple of days. Your brows knitted in confusion, and an uneasy feeling set off in your chest. Trying to figure out what had happened, you heard sounds come from Wanda's room, just two doors down from yours.
You recognized the sounds quick enough. It was the sound of two people having very loud sex, and it made your heart sink at the thought of who it could be. Cause you were pretty sure you recognized one of those people.
You were at a standoff with yourself. On the one hand, you don't want to see your (ex)-girlfriend? Having sex with anybody, but on the other hand, you needed to see it with your own eyes.
You hadn't felled in years with vigour, not since the days of the HYDRA experiments where you had to protect your siblings as you walked to the offending sounding door. Only hesitating for a second before opening the door.
In front of you, you saw Wanda being fucked into the mattress by your now definitely ex-girlfriend. They hadn't noticed you yet, and you were frozen in place, unable to look away. You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or cry.
The worst part was Natasha knew your insecurities, knew that getting betrayed by the people you loved your worst fear was, and apparently, she didn't give two fucks about it.
You were so sick of this, of never being good enough. If you weren't good enough for them, they didn't deserve your tears. So you decided that while Natasha fucked your sister, you wouldn't care about this team anymore from this moment forward. For once, you would look out for yourself.
A dark humourless laugh left your lips, startling the two occupants in the room. The mood changes on the two woman's faces were priceless. Going from shock to horror to shame.
They jumped away from one another as if burned. Part of you wanted to yell at them for how they could do this to you if they had no shame, but you didn't. Instead, you just walked away.
Both called your name, probably trying to explain what had just happened. This started to feel like a bad romance movie.
"Don't!" was the only thing you said before walking into your and Natasha's room. Using your powers to grab a suitcase and your clothes. Meanwhile, you gathered your other personal belongings. No way in hell were you staying in this dam-building longer than you had to.
"what are you doing?" Natasha's voice came out rough as she tried to keep the tears away. More likely, it was her after sex voice you tried to get rid of. You used to love that voice; now it made you sick. You couldn't even look at her right now.
"what does it look like I am doing, Natasha." The bluntness of your words and the fact that you didn't call her by any pet name really told Natasha how bad she had fucked up. Normally you would use every kind of pet name you could think of. Even when the two of you were fighting, you wouldn't get this cold with her.
"it didn't mean anything, I promise." Her words fell to dead ears. Normally you would believe her instantly, but now they were just empty words. Who knew how many times she had lied to you.
When you did look at her, she flinched from the blank look you gave her. Normally you would look at her with so much love. Natasha didn't know what to say to make this better. She used to be so good at feeling your mood, but she couldn't feel anything from you right now.
"what I saw didn't look like nothing." You glance from Natasha to Wanda, lingering in the door and flinched away from your gaze. In her haste to get dressed, Wanda put on an oversized hoodie from Natasha. A hoodie that was once yours. That alone gave confirmation it was not the first time.
You scoffed when you didn't get an answer after that. Grabbing your stuff, you start walking out the door. There was only one question you wanted an answer to.
"how long?" you see the crinkle in Natasha's eyebrows. Not wanting her to lie to you, you use your powers to stimulate her brain to tell you the truth. It was a trick you had mastered during all your solo missions and made getting information more easily, and it caused people to tell the truth without the memories being altered.
"Six months." Natasha was shocked that she had just blurted that out. At least she had hoped it would get a reaction out of you, but you did nothing, just kept on walking toward the elevator. Not looking back at either Natasha or Wanda, they could have one another for all you cared.
Some part of you knew you should feel sad and angry for all that had happened, but you were just tired. Tomorrow you will ask Director Fury for a transfer. Somewhere far away from New York.
For tonight you will rent a hotel room. Natasha and Wanda try calling all night, but you never pick up.
In the security of your hotel room, you allow your emotions to wash over you. Crying your eyes out until you have no tears left to cry and a promise to yourself this is the only time you will shed tears over this. They weren't worth it.
With that promise, you fell asleep.
So the next day, you did exactly that, and to your surprise, the man agreed to it almost immediately. Even told you he had expected this conversation a lot sooner. He also tells you he has the perfect place, somewhere far away from New York and where you still can be a hero.
Apparently, the theory of the multiverse wasn't just a theory. You had read a couple of Starks scripts about it and got the concept of it and even believed it when you first read it. Something happened that almost but instead, all universes were combined into earth Prime.
The transfer would be immediate, and SHIELD could fly you out later today. You told Fury you accepted and that you were ready to leave today. You already had all your important possessions, and the rest could be replaced.
Before you left, the only thing you wanted to do was tell The Avengers you were going. Saying goodbye to Pietro was the least you could do, and you were still furious at Wanda to consider giving her a proper goodbye.
Fury promised he would see it done and have a Quinjet ready for your after. An hour later, you are back at the twoer, and JARVIS informs you that an important meeting was requested by Director Fury, and everybody is waiting for you.
However, the moment you step into the room, nobody acknowledges you. Steve and Bucky are talking to each other about some things that happened in the 40s. Bruce and Tony are discussing some new power reactors for Tony's suits. Clint is sitting in a chair brooding. Wanda and Natasha are sitting close to one another. From the looks of it, they haven't slept. Pietro was trying to cheer Wanda up, but it didn't work. He was also the first person to spot you in the doorway.
"Sestra! You are here. I didn't see you at breakfast today. Wanda said you arrived early from your mission, but I haven't seen you yet." Pietro could be a brat, but he was a good kid, maybe too energetic sometimes. Like nothing happened last night, he zooms over to you and hugs you. This spurs the others to jump into action.
"well, seems like the with finally showed up." Tony snarked.
"It is nice for you to finally show up. Fury ordered an important meeting." Steve tells you, getting up from his seat. And closing the door. People would never believe you, but America's golden boy could be snarky when he wanted to be. Although it only happened with you. Wanda and Natasha also jumped into action when they saw you, but you didn't want to talk to them, so you cut them off before they could even speak.
"I know Rogers. I was the one to request the meeting." You tell him, giving him a blank stare. Everybody was a little taken aback at your blunt response. They were used to you rolling with the punches and rarely talked back. You felled Wanda trying to invade your mind, but you pushed her out and gave her a dirty look. She shrunk back in her seat, Natasha asking what was wrong.
"what, why?" Tony asked, getting up from his seat and stepping closer to you. You just looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Not giving a crap about these people was already making your life a lot easier.
"Because I had an announcement for all of you. I will be resigning from The Avengers and moving out of the Tower." A silent shock goes through the room. Steve; Bucky, Bruce and Tony don't know what to say. Pietro looks a little stunt, but you know he will understand. Natasha and Wanda have tears, but you are unaffected by them. Steve seemed to be the first to get out of his stupor and advance on you.
"why and who the hell has decided that without going over it with Tony and me first." He seemed angrier that something happened with his team that he didn't know about than the fact that you were leaving. The rest of the team also expresses curiosity in the why question, and you decide to indulge them and get a little venting done in the process.
"you want to know why Captain? How about the fact that since the moment I joined this team, everybody has been nothing but hostile, and the act of betrayal I witnessed yesterday was the final straw. For the record, Rogers, you don't have a say who is or isn't on the team. Everything is already gone by Fury, and he accepted it." Everybody had at least the decency to look sheepish.
"What happened last night (Y/N)?" Pietro asked. Wanda and Natasha looked like they wanted the floor to swallow them whole, and you got a bit of a sick satisfaction out of it.
"Why don't we ask that question to Wanda and Natasha," you say, turning to the two redheads in the room. Wanda already knew what you were about to do and sent you a pleading look.
"(Y/N) please don't tell them." Wanda begged. Oh, they thought you were going to spill the beans, and no, you would let them do it themselves.
"I'm not going to tell them anything." Natasha and Wanda breathed out a sigh of relief.
"no, I'm going to let Natasha tell them." You sent out the same stimulant as last night, and Natasha, the world's best assassin, spilt the beans.
"Wanda and I have been sleeping together for the last six months." When the words left her, Natasha clapped her hands over her mouth like she couldn't believe what she had just said. Pietro was the only one that looked shocked, and you had already gathered that the others were in on it. Pietro immediate engulfed you in a hug and told you how sorry he was and that he understood why you were leaving. You hugged him back, but the intimate moment was cut short by a very angry Winter Soldier pinning you against the wall.
"what did you do to her?" he growled in your face, a little taken back by the fear on your face. You were looking at him like the two of you were just having a normal boring conversation.
"I did exactly what Rogers wanted me to do. I figured out my powers on my own. Seems when you don't get dotted on like some people." You send a side-eyes glance to Wanda. "you get creative on how to use them. With one little stimulus to the brain, I can get people to tell me the truth. Let me tell you that some HYDRA agents have been more honest with me than my own tham family. So sorry. I don't give a crap anymore for your charades. If you let go of me, I would like to leave." By now, Wanda was crying, and Natasha looked at you furiously.
"as for the rest of you, I'm done being treated like a second rate person." When Bucky made no move to let go, you forcibly removed him from you. With just the bath of an eye, you had him plastered again on the wall, your powers surrounding him. Even though he was struggling, you didn't feel any restraint on your powers. Your former teammates seemed to be amazed at how talented you were, even Natasha, who thought she knew you the best next to your siblings. You could hear all their thoughts, and it made you smirk. If they thought this was impressive, wait until they saw your next trick.
You kept Bucky pressed against the wall while walking backwards and toward the exit. Concentrating your powers around his Vibranium arms, you increased the pressure on it, and you saw the metal start to bend before you let him go. Bucky fell to the ground looking at his prosthetic with confusion.
Believe that was enough showing off, you turn around and walk away. Hearing Natasha and Wanda calling out to you again.
Just like last night, you don't look back and hope that you will have better teammates in the new city than the last one you had.