Chapter Text
arm the koalas. koarmlas.
i. wanna. see. koalas. with. mgs.
if i can't be a siamang ape going wild, then what's the point in anything honestly?
please put the lesbian birdhouse in a tree.
tommy i'm sorry for mugging you please can you get me out of the puddle
philza, why do like 25 of my bones require upkeep? all my mouth stones are pretty high maintenance, but you don't see me brushing a femur
IT'S OUT OF KEY!! THE CLOCK IS SKEWED!! WE'VE DESCENDED INTO CHAOS!!
C R I M E
wasps strike reasonable fear into people. anteaters strike unreasonable fear into me.
if i came to you one day and said "phil, each day i eat my body weight in ants" you would put me in an institution. why do we let anteaters get away with it
someone in my chat flew by saying "that was hot" and i don't know if they're talking about my rendition of sir mixalot or my guttural vomit sound
phil, the envy i feel for your life causes me hatred.
home home.
I'M GAY. I'M GAY FOR THE EGG.
... i wanna fuck the brown m&m.
2 to the 1 to the 1 to the 3 please get tommyinnit off my screen
PIGEON!!! NOOOOOO
*laughing hysterically* IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK *aggressive harmonica* *loses his shit*
if it pleases the court i would like to say that my opponent is talking shiiit
YOOOOOOO!!!!! SUCK IT GREEN BOYYYYYY
YEAHHHH DADDY DREAM!!! oh wait i-
*calmly* sike! fuck you! dickhead!
one wrong move and i'm in the ether
i got to 7500 on the x axis and i'm Going Back
*carro con sapato* AHHhH IT'S GOT SHOES ON ?!
i've started calling it the goxler and it's really pissing off everyone-
don't load no ass around me bitch. i'll kill you
philza minecraft, you're on everything duty
how's the wife, you fuckin virgin
philza minecraft is so... e...
OHHH thats four skeletons thats more than- more than enough! aha i dont need that many! i w- OH no niki nihachu i have- i've royally R- oh that's a creeper. you know what. i'm just gonna mine this iron and ignore the creeper exists. i don't think this creeper exists. this creeper? not real. was never here.
oh no tommy have you just found the funniest minecraft mod ever
i want to make him pass away.
IF YOU PUT A SWORD IN HIM HE DIES
somebody come get her she dancin in the neether
I'VE MISPLACED MY NIKI
oh my god niki i'm literally looking at you like stood next to some ribs.
i was just merely vibbing.
YOU LOOK AT I. YOU LOOK AT I AND YOU THINK. AH YES. THAT ONE. THAT ONE WHO HATES THE SUN. LET'S MAKE IT DAY. FOREVER.
THE GUNFIRE. THE GUNFIRE PHIL
it's fine. you can just venmo it. ven- ven- venmo me me. venmo me it.
i've made an affront to god. :D
you can keep the doomshack,
TUBBO YOU'RE SEVENTEEN LET'S DO DANCING QUEEN!!
ich will sprechen sie deutsch
I Want Speak The German.
we would like some Pollen. :)
i've taken to living in other people's homes now
i'm straight fallin!
charlie we're building the pube :)
and they cum monster......
we're making a ziggurat what are u doing here while i make my ziggurat >:((