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A heavy sigh escaped the Cavalry Captain as he hastily shut the door behind him, leaning onto it as a hand ran through his disheveled hair, searching for the eyepatch’s clasp and letting it fall to the ground before a breath of relief left the man’s lips, the glistening golden orb pulsing with a faint black as it was released from its dark confinement.
He finally let the feeling of exhaustion and weariness sink into his bones, filling every crevice with an ice cold presence, lingering through his gut and soon enough his mind.
“Rough day?”
Kaeya sluggishly rubbed his usually covered eye as he dragged himself away from the door and into the house, shedding a piece of his eccentric attire with every step till he was eventually left with the pants and dress shirt, loosely hanging around his shoulders after undoing the lace at its back.
He stood in place for a moment while making it to the kitchen, eyes dazed and unfocused as he let his arms fall to his side, the cold in his spine nearly making it a good idea to just lay down on the comparably warm floors and wait till Celestia personally comes down to finish him off.
But he couldn’t. He simply, positively couldn't . Instead, he shuffled into the kitchen as his eyes remained hooded but slightly less fogged, following the call of what would be the key to his relief, a slight wince on his features as his sore body reacts to him leaning down to the cupboards.
Not too many coherent thoughts cross the Captain’s head in a private after work state, but the loudest of all the muffled words and whispers always somehow manage to lead him to the wine cabinet.
“Really? You haven’t even washed up and you’re already chugging poison”
Screwing open a bottle before taking a long swig, Kaeya wondered just how hard he needed to ignore the voice for it to go away as he slumped onto the lone chair by the dust kissed table in the kitchen.
“I’m not leaving, if that’s what you’re thinking”
The bottle was slammed down onto the wood, a thin cloud of dust filling the edges of Kaeya’s vision as he held back a shiver. He was so cold .
“Then could you pretend you are? Please, and thank you”
Diluc, the offending voice, rolled his eyes while watching Kaeya throw his head back as he loudly choked down the bottle of alcohol, only stopping to breathe once the relieving buzz of ignorance clouded his gaze and mind, a dark cloud of bliss settling over the world he sees.
‘Tch. He did that on purpose. Just how intent is he on killing his liver?’
Diluc couldn’t help but quietly seethe as he watched his younger brother take deep breaths and heave them out with a wheeze, the occasional empty chuckle or laugh leaving his throat as his drunken mind rode the high the drink provided.
Kaeya smiled to himself as the comfortable thrum of alcohol allowed him to melt into a heaven fit to his tastes. He reached for the bottle again, bringing it to his lips, but his eyes went wide as he slammed it back onto the table, hacking into his hand as the blood boiled in his veins at the audacity of the other.
“ Fucking water? Did you really just fucking do that? Why—Why the FUCK would you do that?!”
Diluc was content on not answering, simply crossing his arms as he found any other piece of bland furniture more interesting than the man on the table.
“Gods damnit now you decide to ignore me?!”
The redhead registered the sound of a whizz by his ear before the loud sound of shattered glass filled the house, Diluc winced as he turned to the wall, sighing at the remnants of his brother’s bottle on the ground.
Part of him didn’t want to turn back to Kaeya, a type of lingering fear sinking in to see the face the younger was making. He’d probably only make it worse anyway.
And then he heard sniffles.
Accompanied by loud, heavy, heart wrenching sobs that his brother shouldn’t be allowed to make, to ever feel.
It tore Diluc apart to hear his brother, his sweet little brother, his pride and joy, sob into his sleeve, each breath coming out more strained than the next, a series of hiccups clinging onto each sniffle.
Diluc didn’t think twice before turning to Kaeya, instantly trying to comfort the man. His hand reached out, but Kaeya flinched away with a loud, incoherent sound that sounded more like a sob.
“Don’t y-you— Don’t you fucking touch me!”
The blade in Diluc’s heart twisted deeper as his brother put a hand out defensively, eyes wide as his breaths grew louder.
His curse.
Diluc thought, staring at Kaeya’s abyss tainted eye.
‘It cries blood’
He got closer once more, ignoring the younger’s yells as a shiver of panic ran down his spine. No, a cursed thing can’t cry. Is he hurt? Did Kaeya hurt himself? Is he alright? Is his little brother in pain? Is he okay?
All thought was thrown out the window as Diluc muttered questions, asking if Kaeya had injured himself, leaning towards him and trying to place a hand under his eye to make sure the area isn’t hurt.
“Get—G-Get AWAY ”
He faintly recognized the familiar glow of a weapon materializing before he felt a biting cold on his abdomen. He looked down, expecting to see Cryo, but there never was any.
Kaeya hadn’t called upon his vision, Diluc was the source of the cold.
“Oh…”
Diluc patted the area the sword was supposed to go through, his abdomen was whole, but the bitter freeze still surrounded him.
He looked back at Kaeya, worry instantly seeping back in as he saw his brother sob silently, eyes fixed on him as the sword in his fist shook, body trembling from both the cold and frustration.
“Kaeya—”
Kaeya let out a heart wrenching scream before falling to his knees, sword tossed aside as he slammed his fist against the floor and wept loudly, a splatter of blood spreading every time his knuckles hit the ground, his cursed eye’s tears mixing to make an ugly puddle of red.
Diluc was by Kaeya in seconds, telling him to listen, to for Archon’s , for anything’s sake, to stop.
“Kae, please, you’re hurting yourself, stop it, please, Kae!”
The younger kept sobbing as he slowly but gradually calmed down, reduced to sitting on his knees and sniffling as he eyed the sword tossed next to him.
Diluc didn’t dare get close to him, opting to get the first aid kit and a towel from the kitchen instead, and returning to see that Kaeya still hasn’t moved, only slouched into himself a bit more as his gaze was still on the floor.
“Clean the wound with this, then wrap it with the gauze”
Kaeya nodded and wordlessly tended to his wound, and Diluc stood, watching his moves from a distance, glad his brother was back to his senses.
“Why are you here”
“...”
“Diluc, why are you here, you–you died five years ago. Tell me, for what godforsaken reason you’re still here! Is it to torment me? G-Guilt me for staying alive?! Well, congratulations, Diluc, because you’ve been doing that just perfectly!”
“Kaeya, no , don’t–”
“Then why ? Please, Diluc, why . I found the body. You’re buried with him, the Winery is being run as you’d wanted, Mondstat is protected by the Knights and Traveller. Eroch is dead, the man who gave him the delusion is dead, the people who killed you are dead. What else could you possibly regret? Tell me, please Luc, I’ll do it, just please ”
The pleading tone in Kaeya’s voice only shattered Diluc’s still-beating heart as the cold came back tenfold. Huh. That always happened when his death was brought up. Guess a dead man can feel with the right words. Is this how Kaeya constantly feels? Is this why he wraps his arms around himself and shivers in his sleep? Is this what it was like to be alone?
“ Diluc ”
“I… I don’t know”
Kaeya let out a strangled sob as he tried to latch onto his brother, only to fall right through him.
He’d wanted him away a moment ago, he couldn’t bear being met with nothing instead of the warmth that surrounded him when Diluc held him. And yet, he didn’t want him to go, he didn’t want to forget the voice he grew to associate with home and love, the face, the hair, but it still hurt, because Diluc was gone .
Nothing but a cold soul and a husk of a vision left behind.
Diluc tried to hold his little brother, he watched him coiling in on himself, sobbing as before, and all Diluc could do was grasp at air as the other muttered to nothing in pained whispers.
He felt his dormant heart ache from the sight, kneeling down and doing his best to wrap his arms around Kaeya (still reaching through him nonetheless) and soothe him with hushed words, but what could a dead brother do to comfort the younger?
Diluc shuffled to try and get Kaeya to listen to him better, satisfied and relieved when he saw him uncurl from his position and rub at his eyes. And then he saw it.
The grey cored, gold winged vision Kaeya carried by his heart.
A sudden realization hit Diluc as he could swear he felt the phantom sting of tears in his eyes.
‘You’
He thought, staring at the steady and comforting rise and fall of Kaeya’s chest (something he’s lost), having dozed off due to exhaustion.
‘I stayed for you’