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''Let me finish this, and you'll never hear from me again.'' Marc promised.
''Look, when I am done, when I have repaid my debt, I swear to you, you will never see me, or hear from me again. I promise you.'' Marc pleaded.
''Look, I wish I could just disappear. I really do. But unfortunately, I'm still here.'' Marc mumbled.
Words that seemed deeply important to Steven during the time he didn't trust Marc.
When they were still sharing one body, when Steven wanted nothing more than to get rid of Marc and his horrible tendencies to flirt with danger.
But then they got to know each other in a whole different way.
They got separated and needed to learn how to trust each other. The alters working together instead of against each other.
Marc didn't seem as terrible as Steven once believed.
After they returned home, three bodies (Jake included) instead of one, they fell into an easy routine together. Neither of them spoke about splitting up anymore.
Over time Steven grew attached to Marc. He loves coming home from work to Marc lounging around the apartment. Every Saturday night they watch Love Island, despite Steven cringing at everything that happens. Stealing Marc's sweaters when he grows cold became part of that routine.
Marc's words about disappearing slowly made Steven feel sick.
Simply thinking back to Marc promising repeatedly about leaving makes Steven's stomach clench unpleasantly.
They never talked about it because there was no reason to, but Steven can't seem to let it go. The words itself were always vague, never really explaining what Marc meant by 'you'll never hear from me again', yet with an underlying meaning.
Steven worries.
Besides, Marc doesn't make it any easier by behaving like he's weary of life.
He never checks both ways before crossing the street, so Steven always has to hold him back, scolding him for acting unsafe. Sometimes Marc will make insensitive jokes about hurting himself, upsetting Steven despite it obviously being a joke. He'll stay in bed some days claiming he feels tired, but Steven knows it's much more than that.
Marc never makes it a secret he feels unworthy.
They need to talk about it, but Steven doesn't know how because a big part of him is scared of answers he can't handle.
Steven doesn't know what he would do if Marc made the decision the leave.
**
He's resting his head in Jake's lap with his fingers carding through his curls, an episode of some Spanish documentary about kangaroos playing in the background.
Steven isn't really paying attention. Aside from not understanding a bloody word, his brain can't stop turning. Marc left an hour ago to meet up with Layla and the only thing Steven can do is worry.
What if Marc gets hit by a car because he doesn't pay attention to traffic? What if he gets into a fight because he smart mouths to guys twice his size, not caring about the consequences? What if his eyes get all dull and empty like they do when he can't get out of bed, and he decides he doesn't want to come home anymore? What if-
''Steven.''
Steven blinks his thoughts away and hums softly in question.
Jake's fingers gently tug his hair. ''I can hear you thinking, mi amor. What's wrong, hm?''
He sighs deeply, closing his eyes momentarily. Somehow Jake and Marc always know how to look right through him even when he doesn't utter a single word.
Jake lifts his chin upwards, forcing Steven to look at him. Their eyes meet and Steven feels himself crumble under Jake's gaze.
''Answer me, bebé.'' The other man presses, not unkindly but with an underlying seriousness.
Steven takes a hold of Jake's free hand, pulling it closer so he can press a kiss against his knuckles.
''Do you ever worry about Marc?'' he whispers.
Jake is quiet for a moment. ''What do you mean?''
''Like-'' He sighs deeply and pushes himself upright so he can cuddle against Jake's side. ''I don't know.''
Words fail him despite endlessly tumbling around inside his skull. He doesn't know how to explain to Jake that he worries about Marc making the decision to leave them unexpectedly. He doesn't know how to explain how deadly afraid he is that Marc will snap and do something stupid but permanent.
Lately Steven dreams.
Nightmares filled with darkness and blood. Imagines that flash by of him finding Marc's body. Marc's eyes suddenly empty and his body unresponsive when Steven starts to scream at him to wake up. It always ends with Marc's body slowly being swallowed by the sand of the Duat no matter how desperately Steven tries to pull him back up.
Just by thinking about losing Marc has Steven driven to tears.
He didn't even realise that he completely zoned out. Tears are spilling down his cheeks and Jake is talking to him, his warm hands cupping his cheeks and worried eyes flickering over his face.
''-even. Cariño, look at me.''
Steven does, slowly blinking until his vision knits back together. Their apartment comes back into vision just like Jake's concerned expression.
Oh. Right.
''Sorry.'' he whispers, reaching up to brush his tears away but pausing when Jake tuts before brushing them away himself with his thumbs.
''Do not apologize.'' Jake presses a kiss against his forehead. ''You were gone for a second, mi corazón. Where did you go?''
''I'm scared that Marc is going to leave us.'' Steven admits quietly.
Jake frowns, obviously a bit confused. ''Why would he do that?''
''I don't necessarily mean something like moving out or anything but actually leaving. Without any chance of coming back.''
The words settle heavy and painful between them and Steven can see that Jake is overwhelmed. Jake is always the most put together between the three of them and there are few things that easily set him off.
Whenever it involves Steven and Marc is when that trigger happens.
''Did Marc say anything to you, Steven?'' Jake's eyes burn with protectiveness when he looks at Steven. ''I need you to tell me if he did.''
Steven quickly shakes his head and curls his hands around Jake's to ground him.
''No, he didn't, love.'' he promises. ''I mean, not right now.''
Jake is obviously confused again so Steven explains. He spills everything that has been bothering him for so many weeks now. About the promises Marc made when they first met, about being worried that Marc will make the decision to disappear nonetheless, about small things he notices about Marc that Steven loses sleep over.
At the end of his rant Steven feels exhausted. Sharing his anxiety and fear with Jake is like lifting a heavy weight of his shoulders. The funny thing is he knows that Jake will always share his concerns, but Steven has a tough time speaking up about stuff that actually bothers him.
His lover proves himself again when he pulls Steven closer to kiss him, keeping it easy and comforting. After he pulls back, he presses another kiss to the corner of Steven's mouth.
''Thank you for telling me, mi amor.''
Stevens nods, smiling softly when Jake kisses his knuckles.
''I promise you that we will fix this. You and Marc are the most important things in my life and nothing will harm you. Not while I'm here to prevent it, prometo.''
He pulls Steven closer and he complies easily, wrapping his arms and legs around Jake like a koala.
There's not a single doubt in his mind that Jake will keep his promise.
**
They come up with a plan.
It feels a bit silly to come up with a whole step-by-step to make sure Marc knows he is loved and they don't want to miss him. But on the other hand, Steven is entirely grateful for Jake taking this so seriously.
Marc is clueless about the whole ordeal, because of course he is.
He's a total sweetheart by nature and Steven adores him with everything he has but Marc can be a bit thick sometimes.
The plan is formed for Marc's benefit, but Steven would be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy it, too. He loves making sure Marc knows how much they love him. Every single day but now even more.
Steven is better with words than Jake, so he takes up the task of drowning Marc in compliments and affirmations.
*
On Monday Marc goes to a job interview dressed in a nice fitting dressing pants and a blouse. Steven sees him and it all but takes a second before he wraps his lover in a hug and kisses his cheek.
''You look really handsome.'' Steven says with a warm smile.
Marc looks a bit thrown off by the compliment, still not used to receiving them after all this time, but he thanks Steven nonetheless. Jake follows by pulling Marc in a heated kiss before he leaves and whispering dirty promises in his ear about later that night.
Marc gets the job but doesn't get much sleep that night.
*
On Tuesday they meet up with Layla and visit the local zoo. Steven has a deeply planted love for animals, so he has the time of his life running around and rambling facts about all the different animals.
He holds Marc's hand as they walk, proudly showing him off to everyone willing to see.
Around the afternoon they lose Marc in the crowd and decide to split up. Jake goes with Layla, rolling his eyes fondly when she hooks their arms together to wander off but not before reminding Steven to be careful.
Steven is the one that finds Marc by the penguins.
Marc doesn't say anything when Steven quietly joins him, carefully wrapping an arm around his lover because he senses something is wrong. They watch the penguins wobble around their enclosure in silence aside from Steven huffing out small laughs when the small animals do something funny.
He's hesitating to ask what is wrong when Marc speaks up.
''These were her favourite animals.''
There's no explanation needed because Steven understands. He isn't quite sure what triggered Marc to feel so painfully nostalgic all of a sudden, aside from the penguins of course, but at the end of the day it doesn't really matter.
Marc feels sad and that doesn't fly well with Steven.
He cuddles Marc closer and presses a kiss against his temple, smiling softly at him when he turns to look at Steven.
''How about we go see your favourite animals, love?'' Steven asks, squeezing Marc's waist.
The other man smiles, a tad too sad. ''We already saw the elephants.''
''Doesn't matter,'' Steven promises, ''we'll just go see them again, yeah?''
It takes a minute before Marc sighs deeply and nods his head in agreement.
''Okay.''
Steven kisses him, wrapping him in another hug.
''Okay.'' he echoes.
And that is that.
*
On Wednesday Marc has a bad day.
He's still in bed when Steven returns from the bathroom, frowning when he looks at his lover curled up beneath the blankets.
Jake is leaning against the headboard with his hand resting on top of Marc's head, fingers carefully brushing through his hair.
Their eyes meet over Marc's sleeping form and a million words are spoken.
Marc isn't a late sleeper.
The only times he stays in bed is when Steven and Jake cling to him, begging him to stay a minute longer for a cuddle. Normally Marc is always the first one up and about, making himself a cup of coffee and lounging on the couch until one of the other two wakes up.
Steven joins them on the bed by carefully crawling over Marc. He turns on his side and curls up around Jake's torso, wrapping his arms around the other man.
It takes another hour before Marc rouses from his sleep.
His eyes are dull and incredibly tired when he wakes up, blinking slowly before realizing where he is. It's a rough process to watch and Steven feels his heart squeeze with sympathy.
''Morning, mi amor.'' Jake says, brushing Marc's curls away from his eyes. ''How are you feeling?''
Marc closes his eyes again. ''Tired.''
He doesn't elaborate but the unspoken words are heard.
Steven wraps his arms around Marc and pulls him closer. His heart squeezes in discomfort when Marc makes no move to pull away and simply sags back against his chest. Normally he would put up a bit of a fight by grumbling about them being clingy, even though they all know he loves to be wrapped up inside Steven's or Jake's arms.
''We're here for you.'' Steven whispers in Marc's ear and softly kisses his head. ''You just rest, love.''
Marc doesn't answer as he closes his eyes again, looking so unbelievably tired despite sleeping through the night.
He falls back asleep rather quickly and Jake and Steven make sure to watch over him for the rest of the day.
Neither of them speak but inside they're both crumbling with worry about their lover.
*
On Thursday Marc's previous sad mood makes a sharp, weird U-turn.
It feels a bit unsettling to watch him so obviously happy because Marc is always a bit 'contained'. He moves a lot easier around his boys but it's no secret Marc always feels the need to be in control over everything.
Steven usually is the one who vibrates with emotions.
Jake usually is the one who keeps himself the most in check.
Today the roles seem shifted and although it feels a bit strange, neither Steven nor Jake complain about it. They're immensely happy to see Marc smiling again, quietly celebrating that their plan is working.
Steven has to go to work but not without an affectionate hug-attack from Marc.
He wraps his arms around Steven's waist and kisses him, warm hands slowly creeping underneath his shirt where they can feel soft skin. Marc seems insatiable, softly whining every time Steven pulls back to remind him he has to head off to work.
Jake makes it even harder to leave when he comes up behind Steven to press his front against his back. He curls fingers in Steven's hair and pull his head to the side, granting him easy access to his neck. Steven's pulse flutters underneath Jake's lips from where he presses wet, hot kisses against the skin.
''Don't worry, mi amor,'' Jake whispers to Steven, dark eyes glued to Marc in front of him. ''I'll keep him warm for you until you get back home.''
Steven goes to work and fights through the longest seven hours of his life.
After work he rushes home, where Marc is all over him the second he steps through the front door.
He is used to Marc being rather dominant in bed but today is an exception. Marc undresses Steven with trembling fingers and urgent lips mouth over his neck. His heartbeat stutters and thumps beneath Steven's hands.
Steven doesn't protest when Marc gently pushes him down on the bed and crawls over him, pulling his head closer for a kiss with a hand at the back of his neck.
Suddenly Jake is there.
He makes no move to intervene, simply letting his two lovers do as they please while taking a comfortable seat on the mattress. Steven feels heat prickle down his neck towards his chest at noticing they're being watched. Of course Jake wouldn't judge them, never, but Steven is still getting used to receiving this much attention at once.
Marc's hands start wandering as he kisses Steven, inching down over his sides to his waist ending at his thighs. Steven whimpers softly and spreads his legs further, granting Marc more room to brush their still clothed cocks together.
Normally Steven is the one who starts begging very easily. His lovers always know exactly which buttons to press and what to say to unravel him.
Today it seems as if Marc took that role upon him when he starts to beg, eyes closed as he works the skin of Steven's neck between his teeth.
''Please,'' he begs, ''please, Steven. I need-''
Jake's fingers make another appearance in Marc's curls, gently tugging and making the other man moan. Steven tries to calm down his heart when he glances at Jake in question, a bit worried to why Marc is acting like this. So soft, so submissive.
If Jake is feeling worried, he doesn't show it. His face is calm when he smiles at Steven, probably to help him ground instead of making him worry even more.
''Marc has been a very good boy today.'' Jake says and Steven doesn't miss the way Marc's hips stutter as they grind against his. ''The only thing he still craves is you, corazón.''
Steven pushes his own worries aside, instead tilting Marc's face up so he can look at him. His pupils are blown wide and there's a flush decorating his cheeks that Steven traces with his thumbs.
''What is it you want, love?'' he asks. Marc tries to chase his lips so Steven pulls Marc's hair in punishment, not too hard in fear of actually hurting him. He feels content with pushing Marc's limits if he needs it, but he isn't one to hurt his lovers.
''Answer me, darling.'' Steven brushes his fingers through Marc's curls. ''Bit hard to know what you want if you don't give me an answer, innit?''
Jake chuckles and Steven smiles, his heart flooding with emotions with the way Marc and Jake look at him. They mean the entire world to him, and Steven would do anything for them to make sure they are safe and taken care for.
Steven allows Marc to kiss him again, the blood inside his body flowing south with the way Marc uses his tongue. He only pulls back long enough to answer the question.
''I want to feel you. I want to fuck you so bad, sweetheart.'' Marc whispers, ''Can I? Please, Steven, I-''
Steven gently shushes him to make sure he doesn't get too worked up.
'''Course you can.'' Steven promises, gently moving his hands over Marc's bare shoulders. ''Anything you want, yeah?''
That's obviously the only confirmation Marc needs before his whole demeaner changes to desperate.
He clings to Steven as if he's afraid he'll fade to dust in his hands while at the same time pawing away Steven's jeans and underwear. Jake quietly steps in when Marc grabs the lube to work Steven open but his hands tremble too hard.
Steven lets it happen, watching in relative silence how Jake grounds Marc by gripping the back of his neck and whispering in his ear. The words are too soft for Steven to hear but Marc visibly relaxes, his shoulders dropping and hands steadying.
Marc works Steven open slowly with Jake looming over him, pressing hot kisses against his shoulders as he watches Marc's fingers disappear inside Steven.
The pleasure sparks through Steven's belly with every twist and curl of Marc's fingers, moaning softly inside Jake's mouth when he bends close enough for a kiss.
''He's going to take you apart so well, bebé.'' Jake whispers, ''And I'll be next when he's done with you.''
A high-pitched moan rips from Steven's chest when Marc brushes against his prostate and Jake grins against his mouth as if he is the one pulling the sound from Steven.
Marc doesn't waste any more time when Steven is ready. He presses the head of his cock against Steven's hole and groans in relief when he slips inside, the slide going easy with how much lube he used.
Jake moves out of the way so Marc can bend forwards, resting his elbows next to Steven's and resting their foreheads against each other.
The pace is uncharacteristically slow, Marc rutting up into Steven's body as they both moan with the feeling. Steven's whole body is on fire and his breath catches in his throat every time Marc's cock teases his prostate.
A small part of him is worried about Marc.
Marc normally prefers animalistic fucking, with his fingers gripping their hips until they bruise and a pace so brutal it's sometimes too much for Steven although always too little for Jake.
He worries because Marc is clearly making love to him.
But a bigger part of Steven can't feel too bothered.
Not with the way Marc is staring inside his eyes, making sure he maintains eye contact while their bodies move. Not with the way Marc lifts Steven's legs and urges him to wrap them around his waist. Not with the way Marc seems so completely lost inside Steven, sliding one arm underneath the small of his back to pull him closer.
Steven moans brokenly when Marc reaches his spot again and stays there, slowly grinding into Steven to spur him on. His head falls to the side and Marc immediately latches on, warm breath fanning over his neck as he worships the soft skin.
His eyes find Jake watching. Dark eyes flicker between their faces and where they're connected. A dangerous grin pulls at his mouth at the same time as Steven cries out in pleasure.
Marc senses Steven is getting close. His lips trail upwards until they meet the shell of Steven's ear, brushing over the sensitive skin.
''Can I come inside you?'' he asks, voice hoarse with want. ''Please. I'll be good for you.''
Steven can't even think. The fuzzy feeling inside his head is present and the only thing he can focus on is the drag of Marc's cock against his walls.
That's why he nods without opening his eyes, pulling Marc closer until there's no more room between them.
''Yeah.'' Steven breathes, his body trembling with pleasure. ''C'mon, baby.''
Steven's eyes roll back to the back of his head when he comes without a single hand on him, body locking up while waves of pleasure roll over him. He can't help but clench down on Marc like a vice and the reaction is immediate.
His whole body shudders as Marc's hips snap forward before stopping. Marc moans in Steven's ear as his cock pulsates, filling Steven up until it feels like it's going to drip out of him.
It takes a minute before they find their breath back. Marc seems really out of it when Steven lifts his head, brushing his damp hair from his forehead and kissing him softly. Luckily Jake is there; carefully lifting Marc off Steven and moving him to the side.
They make sure Marc is taken care off before Jake's eyes find Steven. Before he knows it, he is pressed down in the mattress, face down and hips up with Jake's arms around his waist.
Jake takes his cock in his palm and presses inside Steven, bending his upper body over Steven's so he can whisper in his ear.
''My turn.''
*
On Friday it all goes to hell.
Jake gets into an argument with Marc about something so bloody ridiculous Steven can't even remember about what exactly.
They're screaming angrily at each other with Steven in the middle, sighing softly as he watches them bicker about God knows what.
Fighting isn't something they do a lot. Of course they have disagreements but it's never really serious. Steven doesn't know what to do with Marc looking so angry and Jake spitting more Spanish than English.
''Loves, please-'' Steven tries before getting interrupted by Jake.
''Eres estúpido?! [Are you stupid?], why can't you get it through your thick head that sometimes you're wrong?''
''Like you're one to talk.'' Marc bites back, ''You're the one making a big deal out of fucking nothing because you want me to tell you how perfectly right you are.''
Steven sighs again, standing up to stand between them. He carefully puts a hand against their chest to put some distance. They wouldn't start a physical fight but it puts Steven's mind a bit at ease.
''Can you guys please-'' he begins only for Jake to interrupt him again.
''That's because I am right, idiota [idiot].'' Jake raises his voice and causes Steven to hunch his shoulders a bit. He doesn't like it when people start screaming.
''Mi dios [my god], sometimes I can't fucking stand you when you act like this.''
Steven says Jake's name in warning, a bit angrier this time. He can understand they are both angry but that doesn't mean they need to start saying such unsensitive things.
Suddenly something seems to snap inside Marc.
''How about I'll just fucking leave then, huh?'' he screams, tears springing inside his eyes and tearing through Steven's heart. ''If you seem to hate me so much maybe it would be better if I were gone.''
''Stop.'' Steven's voice rips brokenly from his throat and causes the whole room to turn silent.
''Please stop. Don't- Don't say things like that.''
The tension inside the air snaps.
Marc's cruel words slice through Steven and leave him bloodied and bruised, feeling as if he can't breathe now Marc openly speaks about the thing they were so afraid off.
Of Marc leaving them.
No matter how angry Jake and Marc may get, their main priority is always Steven. Even now they prove it by wrapping him inside their arms, quietly shushing him as he cries.
''Don't cry, sweetheart.'' Marc begs, wiping his cheeks dry. ''I'm sorry for yelling.''
Jake adds to that by kissing Steven's temple.
''Lo siento. [I'm sorry]'' He murmurs.
Steven calms down rather quickly but his heart doesn't settle. His watery eyes find Marc's and the words flash through his head again.
''How about I'll just fucking leave then, huh?'' and ''If you seem to hate me so much maybe it would be better if I were gone.''
''Why are you saying such things?'' Steven asks, turning to Marc who looks perplexed. He obviously doesn't understand what Steven is talking about, his furrowed brows say as much.
''Steven-''
''Is that what you want, then?'' Steven asks, voice breaking again the more upset he gets. ''Do you want to leave us, Marc?''
Marc blinks slowly. ''Of course not. Baby-''
''Then why would you say such things?'' Steven repeats. Jake quietly says his name and curls his hands around his shoulders for comfort but Steven shakes his head.
They wanted to avoid this conversation but it's happening now.
And he's not walking away again.
''You talk about leaving all the time. When we first met, about how you would be gone after that stupid deal with Khonshu was done. You repeated over and over again how badly you wanted to disappear but couldn't because of that bloody pigeon.''
More tears start boiling over, anger and sadness boiling together until Steven feels like drowning. But he keeps going because Marc deserves to know the truth.
''Do you honestly believe that Jake and I aren't noticing how sad you are deeply inside?''
Marc doesn't response aside from averting his eyes.
''I'm afraid you are going to wake up one day and decide to put an end to your life, Marc.''
Even Jake falls silent at hearing the truth, but his fingers tighten around Steven's shoulders. The words hang heavy and painfully bare between the three of them.
The longer the silence drags on, the more desperate Steven feels. Marc won't look up at them and that alone is answer enough.
Steven wishes Marc would just look up and tell them; ''Don't be so ridiculous. I'm not having suicidal thoughts.''
But that would be a bittersweet lie and Steven prefers the painful truth.
Jake quietly steps closer and wraps his arm around Marc's waist, gently pulling him closer so he's sandwiched between Steven and him.
''You don't have to explain to us, cariño.'' Jake presses, not unkindly. ''But you must know that we are here for you. We shared a body once, we know exactly what is going on inside your beautiful head.''
He knocks softly against Marc's head, causing the latter to huff out a wet laugh.
''I'm sorry.'' Marc whispers, angling his head a bit lower so Steven can nose along his temple and cheek.
''Don't be.'' Steven softly kisses Marc's head. ''But you have to talk to us. We may be able to understand you really well but we can't look inside your head.''
Marc nods without answering. He seems shaken up by this sudden turn of events with suddenly his darkest and deepest secret laid out for the trio to see.
But that's love.
Loving your partner despite their ugliest parts. Loving your partner because of their ugliest parts.
''I love you.'' Steven reminds him gently, smiling when Marc's eyes flicker up to look at him. ''And we'll always be here to catch you when life grows unbearable, yeah?''
Jake hums in agreement. ''Te amo [I love you], baby.''
Marc smiles weakly and lets himself be cuddled closer by his lovers who kiss his knuckles and forehead.
''I love you, too.''
Somehow, it feels like a promise.