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Elena paces back and forth, glad for her vampiric grace – and healing – as she balances in Katherine’s stylish but uncomfortable pumps. She knows they sell the look, but they are not the most practical choice in shoes if Elena has to fight.
Or run.
Elena doesn’t know who this “em” is; she has to be prepared for anything. Any friend of Katherine is unlikely to be a friend of Elena’s. If they figure out that Elena isn’t Katherine…
Elena pushes any anxiety away. Her humanity is off, and staying off. She’s calm, and cool, and collected. And she’s staying that way.
Elena looks at Katherine’s watch for what must be the tenth time since getting to the gazebo: it’s 2:03pm.
Whoever this “em” is, they’re late.
“Come on, Em,” Elena mutters to herself, continuing to pace. She knows barely any time has passed at all, but every minute feels like an eternity.
Elena checks Katherine’s watch again: now it’s 2:06pm.
“Katerina,” she hears a familiar voice call from behind her. Elena spins on her heel, doing her best to hide her surprise.
“Elijah,” she murmurs, before trying to get back into character. She wasn’t expecting to know “em”; this is going to be trickier than she expected. “You’re a little late, aren’t you?” she says, in her best Katherine imitation.
Elijah ignores her question, stepping up to her – each motion casual, familiar.
Not threatening at all, the way that Elena thought he’d be, if he ever encountered Katherine again.
“You colored your hair,” Elijah comments, before reaching up to stroke her hair, touching the red strands. “I like it,” he tells her, staring into Elena’s eyes.
Elena’s eyes, but he thinks he is staring into Katherine’s eyes. Elena starts to get a funny feeling in her stomach.
She pushes the feeling away, refusing to put a name to it.
Elijah at times caused her to act against her better judgment, back when she was human. Elena isn’t going to make the same mistake again.
“Thank you,” she says, and even as she does, she wonders if it’s a mistake. If her response is too Elena, and not enough Katherine. She continues anyway: “I was actually gonna…”
Elijah cuts her off with a kiss. Elena isn’t as surprised as she wishes she were: it’s so typical of Katherine, to ingratiate herself for power. To seduce for power.
Even Elijah is not immune, apparently.
Elena kisses him back, telling herself that she’s just playing a role. Katherine would kiss him back, after all.
He’s as good at kissing as she always imagined.
As they begin to part, Elijah pecks her on the lips again, as if he can’t bear to stop kissing her.
As if he can’t bear to stop kissing Katherine.
Elijah caresses her face so gently, so tenderly, so lovingly. His every touch burns like a brand; she reminds herself that he doesn’t know he’s touching Elena like this.
This is all for Katherine.
Katherine, Katherine, Katherine.
Elena will never get away from her face.
“I missed you,” Elijah murmurs.
“And I’ve missed you,” Elena replies, almost automatically.
Rebekah was right: they’re pathetic.
Elijah, for missing Katherine.
Elena, for missing him.
No. She tells herself that she’s just acting like Katherine; she hasn’t missed Elijah at all.
Not after everything.
Elena remembers the last time she saw Elijah, when he promised her that he and his siblings would leave Mystic Falls if she gave them Klaus’s body. She remembers the last time she spoke to him, when she told him that she and Matt were returning to Mystic Falls.
She remembers how Rebekah used that information to run Matt’s truck off Wickery Bridge – to kill her.
Elena tells herself that she doesn’t care about Elijah at all. Certainly not now that her humanity is off.
She doesn’t care that Elijah didn’t keep his word: he never has before, when it conflicts with his love for his family.
She doesn’t care that Elijah never checked in on her: he had no reason to do so.
They’re nothing to each other.
They’ve always be nothing to each other.
Nothing but acquaintances. Uneasy allies at best.
Uneasy allies who make deals they then turn around and betray: over, and over, and over again.
“This is an interesting little town you've chosen to settle down in. So, do you have it with you?” Elijah asks, startling Elena from her thoughts.
“Do I have what?” Elena responds, before she thinks better of it. That isn’t what Katherine would say: she always pretends to know everything.
“The cure,” Elijah tells her. Elena can tell that he’s starting to get suspicious. She decides it’s best to retreat; she’ll regroup with Rebekah, and they can just torture the location of the cure out of Katherine.
That’s a much better plan.
Elena puts her hand on Elijah’s chest, and tells him: “It’s in a safe place. Why don't I go and get it and I'll bring it back?”
She starts to walk away, but Elijah grabs her arm – pulling her back.
Elena knows how strong he is – knows she has no better chance of getting away from him now than she did when she was human. If he doesn’t want her to leave, she isn’t going to be able to get away.
“Where’s Katherine, Elena?” Elijah asks her.
Elena thinks about trying to laugh him off, to insist that she’s Katherine. But it doesn’t seem worth it; she doubts that she’d be successful.
Elena just shrugs instead. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” she says coyly.
“I would,” Elijah tells her, getting in her face, just a hint of a growl in his voice.
But Elena isn’t intimidated.
Maybe that’s stupid. She knows that Elijah could kill her - permanently kill her – in less than a second. She’s seen him slap heads off and tear hearts out of vampires far older, and far stronger, than she is.
So yes, Elena knows that Elijah could kill her, and easily.
But somehow, despite everything, she trusts that he won’t.
Elijah stares into her eyes, and Elena stares back. He huffs, just a little, when he sees that Elena isn’t scared of him.
And that she isn’t going to tell him where Katherine is.
Suddenly, Elijah grabs Elena around the waist and flashes out of the gazebo. He moves almost too quickly for Elena to see, even with her enhanced speed. Before she can get her bearings – or even start thinking about fighting his hold on her – he comes to a stop.
He allows Elena’s feet to touch the ground, his hands still on her waist. Elena doesn’t bother to pull away as she quickly glances around. They’re in an alleyway, presumably still in Willoughby somewhere.
Elijah can move quickly, but Elena doesn’t think he can move that quickly.
Elena looks at Elijah, and he looks back at her. Their faces are so close together, and he’s still touching her, although his hold is gentle – Elena knows she could back away, and he would let her.
She doesn’t back away. She maybe even moves a little closer… She thinks that maybe – just maybe – he’s going to kiss her again.
Elena, this time – not Katherine.
And then Elijah’s phone starts to ring, startling them both. Elijah’s hands fall away from her waist as he pulls his phone out of his suit jacket and answers it.
“Katerina?” he says – his tone more question than greeting.
“Hello, Elijah,” Elena hears the person on the other end of the phone respond, and it isn’t Katherine.
It’s Stefan.
Ugh. She knew that he and Damon wouldn’t leave well enough alone.
Wouldn’t leave her alone.
They seem fundamentally incapable of it.
Elena leans against the wall as Elijah and Stefan continue their conversation, exchanging barbed comments and threats. She mostly tunes them out, except to smile a little bit when Elijah mentions how much Rebekah hates Katherine.
How likely she is to kill her.
If only.
“You listen to me very carefully, Stefan. If anything whatsoever happens to Katherine, I will descend upon Elena,” Elijah threatens, before hanging up.
Elena resists the urge to snort.
She doesn’t believe for one moment that Elijah would hurt her.
Not for Katherine, anyway.
(For Klaus? For Rebekah? In a heartbeat.)
“You’re both idiots,” she says snidely, unable to help herself.
Stefan and Damon, chasing after her yet again when all Elena wants is to get away… Elijah, buying into Katherine’s manipulations so easily: kissing her, touching her, missing her…
It all makes Elena a little testy.
“Excuse me?” Elijah asks. He sounds offended.
Well, if he doesn’t want to be called an idiot, he shouldn’t act like a fucking idiot.
Elena sighs. “Ugh. What happened to you, Elijah?” she asks him, almost rhetorically. “I mean, I thought you were supposed to be a man of honor, and yet you’ve been hooking up with Katherine this entire time?” she says, unable to keep the derision from her voice.
Elena wonders how long he’s been with Katherine.
Did Elijah run to Katherine after he fled Mystic Falls the first time, leaving Elena with nothing but a letter sharing his regrets?
Or did he hook up with Katherine after he left Mystic Falls the second time, Elena drowning in the same water that stole her parents from her? (And then drowning all over again, for months and months, under the weight of the sire bond.)
Elena supposes it doesn’t really matter. Either way, Elijah’s been with Katherine long enough to miss her when they are apart.
“Well, I suppose this man of honor always shared a connection with Katherine. She contacted me when she learned about the cure. We thought we could be of mutual use to one another,” he tells her.
Elena can’t help but laugh. Who is Elijah trying to kid?
Himself?
“‘Of mutual use’?” she snorts. “Please. You fell for her trap just like every other one of those idiots.”
She pushes away any tendril of hurt at the thought of Elijah sharing any “connection” with Katherine. It shouldn’t bother her so much.
It shouldn’t bother her at all.
Elena already knew that Elijah isn’t infallible. If he were, Klaus would be dead, and Aunt Jenna would still be alive.
Elena would still be alive.
And Jeremy, too.
“You underestimate me, Elena. I know who she is. I know what she’s done,” Elijah tells her. He sounds confident.
The fool.
“And you think she’s changed?” Elena retorts. “She’s playing you. She lied to you, Elijah.”
That’s what Katherine does: she lies, and she plays games, and she hurts people.
She kills people.
(Elena refuses to think of her little brother; he’s gone, and thinking of him won’t help anyone, anymore. Least of all, Elena.)
“She didn’t lie to me about your transformation,” Elijah says, staring at her with those dark eyes.
Is he implying that Katherine was the one who told him that Elena died and came back as a vampire?
That doesn’t make any sense, though. Why wouldn’t Rebekah tell him? Or Klaus? Or even Kol, before he died?
Did Elijah assume that Elena was just fine, and human, in Mystic Falls?
No, that doesn’t make any sense, either. Surely, his siblings would have at least told him that Alaric was dead?
“You’re not just a vampire, though, are you?” Elijah asks her, before Elena can ask him what he did and didn’t know about the last few months in Mystic Falls. Elena just shrugs, not wanting to get into it. “There's something else. You… you’re not yourself. You’ve abandoned your emotions. Why?”
Elena didn’t abandon her emotions. They were stolen from her.
Damon stole them from her.
But Elena likes it better this way, and she doesn’t want her emotions back; so, she doesn’t see any need to correct Elijah about it.
“My brother’s dead. Your girlfriend killed him,” Elena tells him. Elijah seems surprised. Elena isn’t. “You didn't know? Of course, you didn’t.”
Typical Katherine.
“She lied,” Elijah says, like it’s a revelation.
Perhaps he’s even more of an idiot than Elena thought he was.
“I hate to say I told you so, but… duh!” she responds, unable to keep herself from rubbing it in, just a little.
Elijah shakes his head, but doesn’t otherwise react to her disrespect. Elena thinks about rubbing Katherine’s lies in his face a little more, but decides it isn’t worth the effort.
He’s clearly starting to get the picture.
Elijah scowls, seemingly deep in thought. As he starts to pace, digesting her woods, Elena sits down.
Katherine’s shoes are gorgeous, but they hurt – even with vampire healing. No reason to stand around waiting while Elijah takes his time to process everything.
Eventually, he breaks the silence. “I know what it feels like to lose a brother,” Elijah tells her.
Elena wonders if that’s meant to be a dig.
She helped kill two of his brothers. She’d almost forgotten, in the wake of Jeremy’s death and Damon forcing her to shut off her humanity.
But he doesn’t mention Kol or Finn again, or Elena’s part in their deaths.
“And I'm sorry for your pain. I… I only hope that you can find your way back to yourself someday,” Elijah tells her instead.
Elena stands up, wondering if he can see the regret in her smile. Wondering why she feels any regret at all, when she isn’t supposed to care.
She pushes the feeling away, focusing on Katherine instead.
“Just like you hope Katherine will find her way back? You still think that innocent girl you saved from Klaus ages ago is in there somewhere?” Elena asks him, wondering if Elijah is really that stupid.
It’s been more than 500 years. 500 years of running, and killing; 500 years of manipulating, and seducing.
Whoever Katherine had been as a human, she was lost a long, long time ago.
“I’d like to think so, yes,” Elijah tells her.
“She’s not,” Elena says, bluntly. “She’s a monster now, Elijah. The sweet peasant girl you fell in love with way back when is dead. And she’s not coming back.”
Elijah doesn’t deny falling in love with Katherine.
Elena wonders if he loves her, still.
If he loves the monster that she’s become, as well as the sweet girl that she was.
“I’m not a fool, Elena,” Elijah replies. Elena doubts that, but she lets him continue anyway. “Of course this has occurred to me, but what kind of man would I be if I didn't try to find my Katerina beneath this… Katherine façade?”
He speaks as if Katerina and Katherine were two different people, rather than just one person: one girl, who became a monster to survive.
Elena wonders if he sees her the same way.
She knows that Damon and Stefan do.
“You boys are all the same,” Elena tells him derisively. “Damon and Stefan still think that the girl they love is still in here somewhere, too.”
“You can’t blame them for having hope, Elena. It’d be a shame if the world lost a soul as compassionate as yours,” he murmurs, leaning back against the wall.
Hope.
There’s no hope in this world.
Elijah’s mention of her compassion makes her think of his letter. But Elena is all out of compassion. Most of it died with Jeremy – and then Damon cut her off from whatever was left.
“‘Your compassion is a gift, Elena. Carry it with you, always and forever.’ I remember reading that in a letter once,” she says. She says “once,” but Elena doesn’t know how many times she read that letter, after Elijah left Mystic Falls.
More times than she’ll ever admit to.
“Well, the writer sounds positively gifted. I’m sure he meant what he wrote,” Elijah tells her. He looks far too pleased with himself.
Elena itches to wipe that smug expression from his face.
“I’m sure he did,” she acknowledges. “And it felt good to watch that letter burn, along with my old life, and along with Jeremy’s body,” she says.
Elijah doesn’t look so smug anymore.
“You don’t mean that,” he tells her.
“Don’t I?” Elena asks with a shrug. She supposes it doesn’t really matter what Elijah thinks.
He disappears in a blur – reappearing right in front of her before Elena can do anything but jump a little in surprise.
“You’ve dealt with grief before,” Elijah murmurs, looking at her searchingly. “Why did you turn your humanity off?”
“I didn’t have the option to turn off my humanity before – I was human,” Elena replies, sidestepping the question.
“You aren’t telling me everything,” Elijah says, reaching out to cup her face – forcing Elena to meet his eyes.
“Are you going to compel it out of me?” Elena asks him snarkily.
Elijah’s hand drops from her face immediately, and he takes a step back. “I wouldn’t do that to you,” he tells her, and there’s something almost painfully earnest in his expression.
Elena believes him.
And the fact that Elijah isn’t going to force her to tell him, when he so easily could, makes her want to tell him what happened.
So, she does.
“When Jeremy first died… I thought he was going to come back,” Elena admits, pushing away any wisp of emotion; keeping her recital entirely clinical. “He had a ring, passed down through our family, that was spelled to bring him back to life if he was killed by supernatural causes. Except, when Jeremy became a Hunter, he became supernatural himself, and the ring didn’t work. He started smelling – started rotting – before I could admit to myself that he wasn’t coming back.”
Elena pauses for a moment, but Elijah doesn’t interrupt her – just keeps looking at her with sympathetic eyes.
It makes her a bit angry.
Which in turn makes her angrier.
She shouldn’t feel anything, anymore. She doesn’t want his sympathy.
And Elijah should save his sympathy for someone who wants it. (Someone who deserves it.)
“And then I doused his body, and the house, in lighter fluid, lit a match, and watched it all burn,” Elena tells him, hoping to wipe away the sympathy from his face.
She’d rather face his judgment.
“Was that before or after you turned off your humanity?” Elijah asks her, his tone calm. And his expression is still all sympathy; no trace of judgment to be found.
Elena turns around, tired of staring at his stupid face.
“Elena…” Elijah murmurs her name, and he touches her shoulder gently.
Elena thinks he means it to be comforting. She might even find it so, if she still had emotions enough to care.
She shrugs his hand off.
He lets her.
“The longer you wait to turn your humanity back on, the worse it will be when you finally do,” Elijah warns her, after a few moments pass in silence.
“I can’t turn them back on,” Elena tells him. Even the thought of it makes her want to light herself on fire.
“I understand that it will be difficult, but you’re strong,” Elijah says, with all the confidence of a man who has lived a thousand years without worrying about anyone else controlling him.
He doesn’t understand.
She tells him so.
“What don’t I understand?” Elijah asks her.
“I’m free,” Elena tells him, turning around to face him again. “For the first time since I turned into a vampire, I’m free.”
“Your emotions…” Elijah starts, and he still doesn’t understand.
“It isn’t about my emotions!” Elena yells, interrupting him. And then she takes a deep breath, and another, and pushes the anger away.
(Anger is a gateway to feeling other things; dangerous things.)
“It’s not just about my emotions,” Elena tells him, this time managing to keep calm. Detached. “I’m free to make my own decisions.”
“In the time I’ve known you, you’ve always made your own decisions,” Elijah responds, a sardonic quirk to his lips.
“You only knew me as a human,” Elena refutes. “After I turned, I wasn’t me anymore. Not until my humanity turned off.”
Elena can tell that Elijah still doesn’t get it. And for some reason… she wants him know. To truly understand.
“Damon’s blood turned me,” she tells him. Elena watches as understanding starts to dawn for Elijah. She confirms it: “I was sired to him. I did what he told me to do; felt what he told me to feel; was who he told me to be. I wasn’t me anymore. When Damon told me to turn it off, I did. And then, for the first time since I died, I was me again. Now I do what I want to do, and I don’t feel much at all, but at least I’m me. If I turn my humanity back on…”
“You’ll be sired to him again,” Elijah says, and he is no longer looking at her with sympathy.
Or at least, not just sympathy.
Elijah seems more horrified than anything.
And then, as Elena watches, horror gives way to anger – and then Elijah’s expression evens out.
Neutral.
Calm.
“I would kill him for you,” Elijah offers, with no more emotion than someone else might express when offering to buy her a coffee.
Elena thinks about it.
“Would that fix it?” she asks him. “Have you seen a sired vampire whose sire has died?”
“I don’t know,” Elijah admits. “It’s very rare.” Elena senses that he’s holding something back.
“There’s something you aren’t telling me,” Elena comments.
“Finn sired a vampire once,” he tells her. “They were lovers before she turned, and I believe she was sire bonded to him.”
Sage.
Elena is sure that he’s talking about Sage.
“And?” Elena prods.
“After he was daggered, she searched for him for 900 years,” Elijah admits.
Elena swallows, uneasy. 900 years… she can’t even imagine.
If Damon dies, and Elena turns her humanity back on, is she going to try to find a way to bring him back?
Or a way to join him?
“Elena, you have my word that I will help you break the sire bond,” Elijah tells her.
It would make her feel better – if Elena felt anything, and if she trusted in Elijah’s word.
But she doesn’t.
“If I turn my humanity on, I won’t even be able to want to break the sire bond,” Elena responds. “Damon wants my love for him to be real.”
“And so it was,” Elijah murmurs. “How cruel.”
Elena hears someone approaching behind her, and is able to dodge before Katherine grabs her – and snaps her neck, or worse.
Elena flashes out of the alleyway, and Elijah lets her go. From the scuffle that Elena hears, he prevents Katherine from chasing after her, too.
Elena ducks into a nearby alleyway, still close enough to listen in. She doesn’t know how Katherine got away from Rebekah: whether that means that Rebekah got a hold of the cure, or just that Katherine pulled one of her tricks.
“You killed Jeremy Gilbert,” Elena hears Elijah say, his tone accusing.
It’s an interesting opening.
“Yes, Elijah, I killed Jeremy Gilbert, a bombshell I’m sure she just couldn't wait to drop on you. Ironic, since she supposedly doesn’t care about anything,” Katherine replies, her tone sarcastic.
And also resigned.
Good.
Elena will never be able to hurt Katherine even a fraction as much as Katherine has hurt her.
But it doesn’t mean she can’t try.
“I care,” Elijah says. “You’ve taken away the last of Elena’s family, just as yours was taken away from you.”
He’s calm, as he’s almost always calm. But Elena hears the anger, bubbling just underneath the surface.
Anger on Elena’s behalf.
“Don’t let sweet little Elena get to you. She hates me. She wants you to turn against me. And she isn’t the angel that you think she is,” Katherine says, not bothering to hide her bitterness towards Elena.
“Neither are you,” Elijah replies.
“I’m not,” Katherine agrees. “But I never pretended to be. And still, you looked out for me when I had no one. You’re giving me a second chance now when no one else will. I love you.”
Elena holds her breath, wondering how Elijah is going to respond, hoping that he’ll see through Katherine’s blatant attempt at manipulating him.
He doesn’t say anything. Elena wishes she could see him – his expression, his body language.
“Elijah,” Katherine murmurs his name. She sounds sad, but it’s surely another attempt at manipulation; Elena doesn’t think Katherine is even capable of the emotion. “You don’t believe me.”
If Elijah were smart, he wouldn’t believe a word that Katherine says.
But today has proven that Elijah isn’t as smart as he thinks he is. As smart as Elena once thought he was.
“I want to,” Elijah responds. “It’s my disease. I just keep wanting to believe you, but how can I when at every turn, you give me a reason to doubt you? I don't know you. I don't know that I ever will.”
Elena allows herself to feel some petty satisfaction at Elijah’s words. So much for his so-called connection to Katherine.
“Wait,” Katherine says. She sounds desperate. “You gave me your word that you would talk to Klaus. I can’t make a deal without you.”
The words are a strategic mistake, on Katherine’s part. She just revealed that the deal with Klaus is the most important thing to her – more important than Elijah himself. That Katherine valued her deal, and her survival, above everything.
Katherine’s words also mean that she still has the cure somewhere. Even if Elijah were on her side, Katherine wouldn’t be able to make a deal with Klaus without it.
“Goodbye, Katherine,” Elijah says, and Elena hears footsteps. She thinks he’s walking away.
Elena supposes that means he isn’t going to keep his word to Katherine.
She isn’t surprised: satisfied, but not surprised. Elijah likes to think he’s a man of honor, but his honor is more flexible than he’d admit. He never prioritizes it over his goals: typically, protecting the people he cares about.
Elena stays where she is until she hears Katherine start to leave. She keeps her distance as she follows behind her, ready to run at the first sign that Katherine knows she is there.
But Katherine seems distracted. She doesn’t appear to realize that Elena is following her.
It could be a trick. Elena stays on her toes.
Katherine walks to a nearby house, and the woman who opens the door is familiar: she’s the one Elena tried to snack on earlier.
After a brief discussion, the human ducks back into the house for a moment, and then she hands something to Katherine.
The cure.
While Katherine is staring down at it, Elena flashes behind her and snaps her neck. She snatches the cure from her hand before Katherine’s body hits the ground.
Before the human can scream, Elena catches her eyes, and compels her to stay calm, and to invite them inside. She slides the cure in her jacket pocket, and she drags Katherine inside the house by her hair.
Then Elena snaps the leg off one of the kitchen chairs.
One of the wooden kitchen chairs.
And she drives it through Katherine’s heart, without even a moment’s hesitation, and watches in satisfaction as Katherine’s face turns grey.
Katherine killed Jeremy because she wanted to stop running from Klaus. Well, Elena gave Katherine what she wanted – she won’t need to run from Klaus anymore, now that she’s dead.
Elena has a little snack, but she leaves the woman alive. And remembering nothing.
It isn’t her fault that Katherine compelled her, after all – and a missing human might draw attention that Elena doesn’t want.
She borrows a shovel and buries Katherine’s body in the woods behind the human’s house.
Deep, where no one will ever find her.
If anyone even bothers to look, to care, they’ll think that Katherine just went on the run again.
Once Elena is done cleaning up after herself, she texts Rebekah to ask where she is.
Elena has a gift for her.
And then maybe she’ll take Elijah up on his offer to help her with her little sire bond problem. At the very least, Elena is sure that Elijah won’t let Damon and Stefan take her anywhere against her will.
Best case scenario, Elijah helps her figure out a way to remove Damon’s control over her.
Permanently.