Chapter Text
arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]
AG: Hey, fish8reath, how's it going?
CA: shut up vvris
AG: You're lost again, aren't you? XXXXD
CA: yeah laugh your ass off this is hilarious
CA: evvery fuckin buildin here looks exactly the same
CA: an theyre all shinin hurtin my eyes somethin stupid
CA: wwho evven designed this place
AG: All I'm hearing is a bunch of whining!
CA: yeah easy for you to say miss map in the sky
CA: youre a fuckin cheater
AG: That's right! >::::D
AG: And that's why I win aaaaaaaall the games!
CA: if you only trolled me to gloat about howw youre an unprincipled bag a grubshit you can glub off
AG: Geeeeeeeez, you're a cranky one!
AG: 8ut fine, I guess I can help you out just this once. You know, just 8ecause you're so slow on the upt8ke!
CA: fan fuckin tastic
AG: Are you going to listen or just 8itch a8out my generous offer until I change my mind?
CA: fine lay it on me
AG: Ask one of your consorts for dir8ctions.
CA: the fuck is that supposed to mean
AG: You know, one of those critters who live on your planet.
AG: They're not very smart, 8ut they're there to help you. Take advantage of that!
CA: wwhat you wwant me ta talk wwith one a those demon things
CA: no wway
AG: Oh come on, you 8ig gru8, are you just going to 8um8le around helplessly, or are you going to finish your stupid quests and give me a challenge?
CA: wwell if its a challenge you wwant
AG: Eeeeeeeew, no, I definitely didn't mean it like that!
AG: Forget I even trolled you.
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]
She signs off quickly, but you already have proof that she never got over you, no matter how much she denies it. It must be hard for her to talk to you while plagued by bittersweet inky longing, but you're not going to be the one who crawls back to her. You're going to bide your time and wait for her to resume this relationship. You're going to play it smart, not like your other quadrants.
You don't have time to dwell on the nuclear downfall of your romantic pursuits, however, because you've reached the end of the stairs. You open the door, and white light spills in, but you squint your eyes and soldier on. You step out into a bell tower, but the solid wooden beam by which a bell should be hanging is empty, save for an angel lounging on it.
The angel is lying on its belly, wings folded close, watching you with its beady black eyes. It doesn't react in any other way as you step into the bell tower and closer to the banister. If you didn't see the end of its tail flicking lazily, you could almost pretend it was a statue.
You scan the horizon, trying to figure out your position. You see your hive in the distance, and you use it as a point of reference as you plot your course. The quest you're trying to complete requires you to find a sort of city square with a fountain. You can see it from the bell tower, just barely, between the corners of two structures, and you try to figure out which streets you should take to get there quickest. You capture the image with your glasses and mark the directions with a shaky purple line. It will serve.
You turn around, ready to leave, and almost topple over the edge, because the angel has moved without you hearing a thing, and now it's brought its head really close to yours, getting in your space and staring at you.
“What the fuck--” You grab onto the banister with both hands as you lean back. You are also developing a sudden and completely rational fear of heights.
the king is coming the king is coming we have seen all is wrath there will be nothing left but terrible terrible wrath it has been seen we have seen there will be nothing nothing will be left in his wake
The angel's voice is like the chiming of broken bells, dull and devoid of musicality; it hammers right through your head and vibrates down your spine. The words make no sense, and you have no time to parse whatever thread of logic they follow. You duck out of the way and make for the door.
You run down the stairs and stumble into the cathedral, knees shaking and lungs too tight after such a short sprint.
*
You don't understand this land, nor how wrath has anything to do with it. Unless it is the wrath of having to double back twice before realizing you were on the right path the right time because the streets make no fucking sense is the one being represented.
This whole place is stupid. Everything is either gleaming metal or dark matte stone. The angels gibber nonsense. The quests mostly involve clever puzzlework, which is a pain when you're much more in the mood to blow shit up. You blow shit up anyway, because fuck it. Fuck it is the reason why.
You reach the fountain, at long last. It's a hideous baroque thing, the statues representing a clusterfuck of writhing angels with their horrible maws open in horror. You find it upsetting, even if you can't stand the creatures. You've certainly never seen the real things with anything resembling a facial expression before.
The spouts are dry, but there is still water in the fountain, clean and clear. On the bottom of the pool, silver coins catch the light. You're supposed to find just the right one, according to the quest, and if you pick up the wrong one something horrible is said to happen. You received a riddle to help you find the right coin, but you couldn't make heads nor tails of it (ha ha). Hopefully now that you're actually here the answer will become apparent on its own.
You step into the water, and it barely even ripples. You start scanning the bottom of the pool, taking in the design of each coin. Some are ornate, so densely carved, you can barely tell what they're supposed to represent, and some are simple, with only a number indented on their surface. You flip a few over with the tip of your shoe, but they're all double-sided, so you needn't have bothered.
You try to recall the riddle, but your mind brings up only a few words you snagged on. And even if you knew what you were looking for, this is still just annoying busywork. You could try to troll someone for help, but the best person at figuring out this stuff is Vriska, and you kind of... don't want to go there. Her renewed rejection still stings, even if you know she's only delaying your inevitable and undoubtedly torrid reconciliation.
You decide to try Aradia instead. She knows a thing or two about riddles. Apparently desecrating ancient tombs makes a troll really good with this wordy shit.
caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]
CA: guess wwhat rustblood youre in luck
CA: i am givving you the opportunity to servve your betters
AA: wh0 are y0u talking ab0ut?
CA: me obvviously
AA: im s0rry but it was n0t that 0bvi0us actually
CA: wwell wwhat reason wwould I have to contact you otherwwise
AA: id rather n0t speculate
AA: tell me what y0u want fr0m me
CA: i got this stupid riddle an i need you to figure it out for me
AA: why?
CA: its for a quest
AA: why w0uld i help y0u?
CA: cause
AA: ?
CA: cause youre good wwith this kinda shit
CA: help a felloww team member here
CA: come on i dont wwant to havve to ask vvris for help
AA: 0kay
AA: just this 0nce if y0u pr0mise n0t t0 b0ther me again
CA: thanks youre a doll
CA: not like i wwas going to bother you about anythin else anywway
CA: i aint into any a that robot shit
CA: i couldnt stand the chafin
AA: ...
AA: just tell me the riddle
CA: alright, let me think a second
AA: eridan
AA: are y0u still there?
CA: yeah i just cant remember it exactly
AA: y0u want me t0 tell y0u the answer t0 a riddle y0u cant even remember
CA: glub
CA: i think it wwas something about hiccups an clocks
CA: an also there wwas somethin about a squeakbeast
AA: a squeakbeast
CA: almost definitely
CA: actually maybe it wwasnt about hiccups I think it might havve been trees
AA: i see h0w the tw0 can be easily c0nfused
CA: i knoww
AA: eridan
AA: d0nt c0ntact me again
apocalypseArisen [AA] has ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]
You growl at the rustblood's nerve. You stomp your foot, splashing water, and then, in a final tantrum, you grab a handful of coins from the bottom of the pool and fling it across the square. The coins clink cheerfully against the black stone, bouncing off and rolling away. The angels on the buildings around the square give off shrieks and fly away in a flurry.
Everything goes unnaturally quiet, and the rasp of your breath is too loud; it echoes.
There's a groan—it's the closest description you can find for the sound that you feel more than hear. Something is moving behind you.
You stumble out of the fountain, tripping over the edge and falling. That awful statue of the angels is moving, the stone bodies writhing a bit too much like a horroterror for comfort. It doesn't turn to flesh, exactly, just a teeming stone mass moving together as one towards him.
You take out Ahab's Crosshairs and crank it up to its highest setting. The beam that results engulfs the monstrosity completely, but you know it doesn't die right away because—oh god—it's screaming now, the noise reverberating through the ground and shaking you down to the bones. Your finger presses down on the trigger so hard it aches, and the awful pained shrieking turns into a death howl and then ceases. You keep firing long after it stops.
What remains is a pile of charred rocks, smelling of rot and sweetness. The fountain is no longer there, and of the water, only a puddle remains, and a few darkened coins.
You steady yourself, slow your breath, but you don't put away your rifle. You merely stand there for a very long time, because you're startled, not scared. You just committed architectural annihilation on a grotesque ambulatory statue. This is something you should be proud of, and not something that should make you lament that you can no longer troll Feferi and talk about it.
And technically you did finish the quest. So. On to the next one. Preferably one that requires killing a lot of things.
"What would you say if I said a vengeful boy on a path of nihilism was taken under the wings of fearsome angels, and learned to destroy hope with their light?"
*
The brush of feathery wings against each other sounds like whispering. The angels sit coiled around the gleaming spires and stare down at you with their blank reptilian gazes, but they don't say anything as you walk down the street. This land shines bright and merciless. It's unnerving.
You round the same building twice before you realize you're lost. You recognize the archway, because you cracked it in half a while ago, when you were trying to finish a different quest. You need high ground to get your bearings.
You go into a nearby cathedral. The light shines through colorless stained glass windows, creeping along the pitch black floor and illuminating nothing. The walls are barren, carrying only sad empty sconces, empty like your quadrants, and you heave a sigh. It resonates too loudly in the high ceiling, and something moves up there. You catch glimpse of stark white, and you hear the ruffling of feathers, but it's only a few moments' stirring.
You find a staircase, spiraling up into darkness and you take it. The air is dusty and smells too strangely sweet, but it's a reprieve from the constant demonic glimmer of your planet. The stairs are slabs of gray concrete, veined with little cracks. You wonder if anybody has ever used them before. You're pretty sure the angels don't use stairs, since they can fly. And also lack feet.
Halfway up, you are trolled by someone. For a moment you consider not answering, but the flailing emotionally needy part of you succumbs much too easily when you see who it is.