Chapter Text
Changbin was quietly humming along the radio and tapping his fingers to the beat on the steering wheel just to keep him somewhat grounded in the material world so he wouldn’t fall too deep in thought. The sound of the traffic around him and the voice of Minji talking to her toddler brother were all mushed together to a constant background white noise.
Quietly he thanked God when his sister’s house finally came to his view and he was able to park at the parking spot. It definitely was no good to drive, especially with your kids in the car, with this much going on inside your head. Quickly he got out of the car and opened the door for his oldest spawn before opening the trunk so she could get her little luggage out (she was in that phase where everything she did, she wanted to do herself because “ she’s a big girl now” ).
Then he opted for picking Saeon up from his safety seat, easily raising him to his hip, not before telling Minji to not soil her clothes on the dust from the back of the car when she reached for the bags packed in there.
Changbin reached down to grab the bag with all of Saeon’s stuff from the trunk himself but Minji was faster than him, snatching the bag and insisting that she could help mommy and take both of the bags. This earned her a ruffle of the hair and a thank you by her mother who was now easily able to close the trunk and lock the car thanks to his other arm being completely free. Minji was only 5 but definitely already showing the signs of a future grown alpha with the way she was competitive, hot-headed and got protective over her omega parent.
Saeon started squirming in Changbin’s hold, communicating in his limited vocabulary that he wanted to be put down and walk on the ground.
Changbin obliged to the demand, still not letting go of the little boy’s hand when his feet touched the ground.
Changbin’s sister opened the door with an excited smile on her face, happy to see his little niece and nephew. They all got inside and Changbin helped Saeon with taking off his shoes and putting them neatly beside the other shoes on the shoe rack.
The female beta rushed the two kids to unpack and to go play in the small guest room where she had already made the beds for the duo this morning.
She then turned to her brother asking if he wanted to stay for lunch or even just a coffee. Changbin denied the offer. He didn’t want her to see that something was wrong. The hassle of navigating the parking lot and the elevator with the kids had distracted him enough to appear normal again but if he stayed, he knew that she ought to notice something was wrong.
“Are you in that much of a rush to see that alpha of yours alone?” she asked from over her shoulder, a smirk glinting in her eyes.
Changbin scoffed a shut up with the same tone as on the phone the other day when he phoned her to ask if she could look after the kids over the weekend. She had asked if she should already start looking for summer dresses in case they’d be celebrating the birth of another child in 9 months. Lord, if she only knew that making another child with Chan was at the bottom of the list of things he would like to do at this moment. And how out of pocket of her to say that. Changbin wasn’t a baby factory and it was HER and HER ALPHA’S news of an oncoming pup that their family was waiting for… Changbin had already done his part
He quickly kissed goodbye to both of his children, saying that he was going to miss them very much and that he and daddy will pick them up on Sunday and telling them to be good to their aunt and their aunt’s mate.
After the final wave of goodbye to all three of them, Changbin closed the front door to the apartment and let out the hugest sigh he could muster and at the privacy of the elevator he pressed his palms against his eyes, grunting out of frustration. What the hell has he done to deserve all this?
He turned the radio all the way up when he started driving back home, not trusting himself to sit in silence at this delicate moment.
He kept himself busy the whole day and hour after hour, he felt more like he did not want to confront Chan about it tonight, thinking he was too emotional right now to do so. He scraped up a very simple dinner and ate before Chan came home. He didn’t want to eat together with the alpha today.
When Chan came home at 8, Changbin pretended that he was already ready to go to sleep. He told the alpha that there was dinner on the stove and he could serve himself, Changbin had already eaten.
Chan was not going to lie, the omega’s actions confused and even bummed him out a bit. Like he did not expect the evening to go like this on the night when the kids were out of the house. On another thought, he was not all that surprised, the omega obviously needed some alone time just by himself too. From work, to picking the kids up from the daycare and looking after them, to spending time with his husband, Changbin never really had a break from people, so Chan respected Changbin’s decision to go sleep early alone. Hopefully he would also catch up on some of that sleep deprivation that has definitely piled up after giving birth two times. Saeon had finally reached that age too where he wasn’t keeping his parents up every night anymore so sleeping more was possible again.
It’s only that Chan was oblivious to the fact that Changbin had a real hard time sleeping right now. Despite it all, the omega stubbornly powered through the boredom and the temptation to go confront Chan right fucking now or even to just do something to entertain himself. He forced himself to count sheep until after a couple torturous hours, he finally fell into deep slumber.
He did not wake up to the alpha joining him in their shared bed, and that he was thankful for.
</3 </3 </3
Chan woke up to the smell of eggs being fried the next morning.
With a big yawn, he entered the kitchen, his puffy face distorting in confusion when he saw his omega working in the kitchen. Although with age, Changbin had learned to cook decently, he still was not an enthusiastic chef. Chan was the one to cook in this household maybe 70 percent of the time. But especially making a hot breakfast and preparing it for other than himself or the kids, nearly unheard of.
“Morning, my darling,” he murmured, stepping beside Changbin and hugging his side gently.
All he got for a response was a hum and a shrug to get alpha off of him.
“You can sit at the table, I’ll serve you,” the omega said, not taking his eyes off of the task in front of him.
The alpha quietly obeyed, still confused and stupidly only now realising that something was wrong. Changbin was acting weird, distanced and sulky.
“Changbin-ah –” he tried when the omega placed the bowl of rice and two fried eggs in front of him. But as soon as he had arrived he had turned around to pick up the side dishes from the kitchen aisle. Chan was wearing a troubled expression trying to search for his omega’s attention so he could find out what’s going on.
Back still turned to him, the omega finally properly spoke up:
“Do you call the other one your ‘darling’ as well?”
His tone was flat and monotone, so unlike he was normally.
Chan dropped the other one of the chopsticks he was holding, the realisation dawning upon him.
The inevitable.
“What?” the alpha blinked.
“You know what I’m talking about, don’t act dumb,” Changbin slumped on to the chair on the opposite side of the table, looking his mate straight in the eye now, “your other omega, y’know, the one you’re having an affair with. Do you call him ‘darling’?”
Chan couldn’t formulate an answe. He let out a quiet ‘fuck’ as he rubbed his face with his palms.
Changbin snorted, unamused.
“The fucking nerve of you to get frustrated after finally getting caught. You were not upset at all about this situation a minute ago when you thought I didn’t know. And now you are? Because you got caught.”
“No, Binnie, I– I just– Let me explain, I can’t believe I got myself in this situation. I failed to set a boundary–”
“A BOUNDARY!?” this was the first time Changbin actually yelled, “what type of boundary is there to even consider when you go and start fucking a younger, taller, skinnier, prettier omega other than that you are a fucking two faced asshole?”
“He’s not prettier than you, stop it,” Chan butted in “and it’s– it’s complicated. It’s not just sexual.”
Chan kept babbling his apologies and explanations and Changbin finally let go of the tears that he had been holding in. Did Chan think that was supposed to be better? That it wasn’t just sexual? That there was now a looming possibility that Chan would leave him fend for himself and the kids. After 8 years of being together? After two children?
“What!?” the omega sobbed loudly, interrupting the alpha.
Chan stood up and rushed to the other side of the table instinctively to hold his omega after seeing him cry. Changbin was quick to push him off of him so Chan kneeled beside his chair on the ground, taking the omega’s hand in his own. That contact, the omega let slide and turned back to Chan when the alpha started speaking again.
“Baby, I don’t blame you at all for reacting like this. I am so fucking selfish and I should’ve told you myself but I just– did not know how to. I didn’t want to make it seem like I was leaving you because I really wasn’t. Changbin, you’re my rock, my home, my soulmate, the mother of my children. There’s something wrong with me that this happened but I swear I did not do it out of malice, I love you too much.”
Chan hated himself for the way he spoke, everything sounded like an excuse, like a lie. But he swore, on his mother’s grave, that he was being genuine. He loved Changbin so much. He just had lost himself in a fascination.
“It won’t unhurt you or make this all go away or excuse my behaviour but please, let me at least explain it to you,” he begged, looking up at his omega.
The omega sniffled and sighed stoically:
“I guess I don’t have a choice.”
“Changbin, can I hold you?”
The omega glared at Chan and quietly told him to come sit down on the chair, swerving so that he could sit down on the alpha’s lap.
“How? How could you have another?” he cried onto Chan’s shoulder, too worn out to pretend to be unemotional or to argue anymore.
“It was all an accident. We– we worked together on something. His ideas, his vision, his artistry. It intrigued me. We developed a deep friendship but I longed to know him, to understand him. I needed to get closer. I don’t know why admiration and fascination twisted into those kinds of feelings in my brain but it just happened.”
Changbin cried again.
“It’s different from how it is with you. I’ve never had to second-guess or wonder my feelings for you. With you it’s so effortless and natural. The moment I saw you, I knew that I wanted a family and future with you and now that I’ve shared my life with you, you are like a part of me. You’re my mate, he would never replace you. I love you in different ways.”
Changbin didn’t say anything. He felt good about the words that were said about him because he felt the exact same. But he felt like crying when he thought about the other omega catching Chan’s attention. Why wasn’t he enough? Why was his alpha so strange?
“I know I should be reassuring you that he means nothing to me and that he’s inferior to you in every way and that I would never see him again. But I don’t want to be a liar.”
They were both wearing an unreadable expression. Changbin felt his chest tightening. He was getting devastated and angry again as all the information was setting in.
“But what I feel for him has never taken away from what I feel for you. It’s weird isn’t it? Is it set in us humans that we can only love one person? I guess that’s why I’ve been able to live this lie. Because I’ve thought I’m still a good mate… I’ve always known it’s wrong but… I’ve just blocked my morality out…”
Changbin stopped the alpha from his rambling by tutting in:
“Okay so you accidentally fell in love. Okay. But there was no thought to not act upon it? There was no point where you stopped to think: how would this emotionally affect Changbin? Let’s not even start with how badly you’re treating the other one! Letting yourself fall for him, letting him fall for you? But still loving your omega at home? No matter the purity of your feelings, you’re a horrible person, Chan.”
He fell silent for a while, calming down again.
“I guess that’s the boundary that you talked about then that you failed to set,” he called back to what Chan had said before, clicking his tongue, “anyhow, I’m fucking ashamed of you.”
Chan looked down, nodding.
“That’s understandable. I am too.”
“Thank you for listening to me, though,” he continued, “like I said. It doesn’t make it right and I can’t properly explain this. But just. Binnie, I really don’t deserve the life you have given me when I’m like this. I am absolutely unsuitable to be your alpha, you deserve someone so much better…”
Chan’s words made Changbin’s heart jump to his throat. Was Chan going to leave him after all? After all the things he said?
“But I’m still going to be selfish once again and ask you to please not leave me? You’re my world, Changbin. I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave me.”
Changbin’s shoulders relaxed, a sigh of relief coming deep from his lungs.
“Chan, I could not leave you. I am mad at you, ashamed of you and I feel truly sorry for myself. But no matter what you did, how many omegas you had feelings for, I could only have you. Because unlike you, for me, you’re my man, my only one, the only one I see and there’s nothing I can do to change that. Even if you wanted to go, I would not let you.”
It was Chan’s turn to cry. God, he was an useless alpha. An alpha who couldn’t only have eyes for his omega, an alpha who couldn’t even stay strong for his omega.
“What did I do to deserve you?” he asked out loud.
Changbin shook his head:
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Loving you this much is my burden, some sort of punishment for something I have done. Everyone has to endure suffering in their lives and you’re simply my source of suffering. It’s a tale as long as time”
He clung to his alpha, an aggravated sob leaving him.
“Chan, what the fuck are we going to do now? Why did you have to make things so complicated? I know what you mean by how you were “supposed to” now berate your affair to me to attempt to make me trust you again. I know I’m also “supposed to” tell you to leave that whore now and never see him again but what would that do? My trust would still be gone, you’d loathe me for it, nothing would be fixed.”
“I don’t know, baby. I wish I knew.”
Changbin hit Chan’s shoulder aggravatedly but very gently before burying his face in the crook of the alpha’s neck.
“Shut up, Chan. We wouldn’t be in this mess, if you had chosen differently. Shut up. Shut the fuck up.”
So Chan did. He didn’t say anything. He hugged the omega tightly and started slightly rocking them from side to side.
</3 </3</3
They stayed like that for a better half of 10 minutes. The only thing breaking the silence was the ticking of the kitchen clock.
Chan was stirred awake from his thoughts by Changbin mumbling something.
“What?” he asked.
“I said that I want you to take me on the couch.”
Chan’s eyes widened in disbelief. Changbin wanted to have sex? With him? Right now?
Changbin rolled his eyes.
“What? Just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I don’t want to take advantage of the kids being out of the house. It’s like the only good thing about it, I miss them already.”
“Or do you only fuck bleach blonde, tall, model types nowadays, alpha?” he whispered right next to Chan’s ear, tone so incredibly seductive but words filled with venom.
“Changbin, don’t–”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Changbin gritted and grabbed Chan’s from through his pajama pants. He did it a bit too hard on purpose so that the balance of pleasure and pain was a bit at the side of the pain. Changbin knew Chan liked it like that though. The alpha was bound to be affected by his mate’s pheromone but Chan was a special kind of alpha who also got turned on when his omega became dominant, aggressive almost. Changbin didn’t usually like it, preferring to be taken care of. But now? All the rules had been thrown out the window already. He didn’t care.
He messily kissed the alpha and guided his hands to grope at his thighs and ass.
“Better yet,” he whispered between the kisses, “don’t talk at all, It’s much better when you don’t. You should learn your place.”
He moaned when Chan’s hand squeezed his inner thigh, dangerously near to his crotch.
“Who needs you to talk when all your mouth can spew is lies and excuses,” Changbin knew these were low blows and that this was just him taking his anger out on Chan but he couldn’t help it.
“Why talk when all you’re good for is serving me a decent knot–“
Chan lifted the omega up in his arms, cutting his speech up. With Changbin in his arms, he walked over to the sofa and threw him on the pillows.
Changbin felt slick gush out of him from the rough handling of his alpha. He took in the sight of him, shirtless with his pajama hanging low on his hips, hair curly and face so handsome. Another shock of arousal shot so strongly through his abdomen that he moaned out seemingly at nothing. God, he wanted to have this man’s children again, the omega in him thought before he could stop himself.
Chan took advantage of Changbin’s vulnerable position on his back on the couch and yanked the omega’s trousers off all the way and threw them onto the floor. Chan got on to the sofa in front of Changbin, folding the latter’s legs so that his knees were hitting his chest and placed himself between Changbin’s open legs.
His other hand reached for Changbin’s hole and a finger easily dipped in.
The omega hated to admit it but it actually was so hot that Chan was not talking at all, something so primal and rough about how he just inserted himself in Changbin without saying anything. Changbin was so turned on that just the one finger was making him moan out softly.
After Chan put another one in, Changbin became bored and just wanted Chan to fuck him already. He wanted him to go rough, fast, and make it hurt.
“Just fuck me already, I know you want to.”
Chan exhaled strongly through his nose and pulled his cock out. Changbin bit his lip at the sight when Chan stroked himself. He fought a loud whine when Chan pressed his tip right to his hole, not pushing in yet, knowing exactly how much the omega enjoyed the anticipation. And when he pushed in, the omega just hummed in satisfaction.
Chan moved his hips languidly, quietly enjoying his mate and the soft noises he made.
Suddenly, Changbin was hit with a feeling of jealousy that he hadn’t even had the time yet to process. He wasn’t the only omega who got to see the alpha like this. He knew, he shouldn’t think about it but he couldn’t help but wonder how Chan fucked the other one. Fuck, Changbin didn’t even know the omega’s name. Was that one more dominant than Changbin? Or was he perfectly pliant and malleable to the alpha’s desires? Changbin felt tears forming from behind his eyes.
“Harder,” he told the alpha before the tears threatened to fall, he did not want to feel these emotions, “please fuck me harder, alpha.”
At some point Changbin actually started hating the quiet, he just wanted everything to be normal. He didn’t want to be having hate sex with his alpha anymore. He wanted to be normal, make love to him in the bed. Not knowing how to fix it though, he just wrapped his arms tight around the alphas neck and brought him as close as he could, the latter still pistoning his hips fast and harshly into Changbin. He came before the omega but right after he pulled out, his hand was replacing his cock, fingering him until he came with a quiet whine, body shaking against Chan’s.
</3 </3 </3
“Would you like to meet him?”
Changbin finished folding Minji’s shirt before he turned around to Chan who had just entered the laundry room.
“What?”
Chan cleared his throat:
“Hyunjin. What if we, all three of us, just… sat down and talked about this situation.”
Changbin let out an exasperated grunt, a few water droplets flying from his hair as he had taken a shower after going for a workout to clear his mind a bit.
“Chan, I love you and I want to fix this but, just understand, I don’t think I’m okay with you having two omegas even if I liked this person. I know there are people like that but I just, I can’t. I need to be your only one. Chan, we have kids…”
“Baby, don’t take this as me having an attitude towards you because I don’t but seriously: do you have any better ideas?”
Changbin just stared at him with a sad expression; defeated, pissed off, clueless. He shrugged.
“I swear, I have no agenda of how this should go or how you should act or what you should decide,” Chan scratched his neck, “I just thought, maybe… all being transparent now, talking. It could get us closer to a solution. We don’t have to of course, if you’re against it. Also, we could start trying therapy or…”
“Let’s do it, yeah.”
“The therapy or?”
“No– well, maybe, but seeing uhh, Hyunjin was it? Yeah, Hyunjin. Let’s… I don’t know, invite him for dinner?”
Chan nodded in careful agreement.
“Yeah. Or lunch tomorrow maybe? A bit longer to process.”
Changbin pouted in a way that he knew, after years of experience, would make Chan forced to agree with him.
“But I wanna pick Minji and Saeon up at midday tomorrow, we would have to rush…”
Chan knew it was no good to argue so he nodded again.
“I’ll call him about dinner.”
He didn’t miss Changbin’s sad eyes as he picked up the phone. His heart ached for his omega.
“I’ll put it on speaker okay?”
“No, you don’t have t–”
“Hi, Channie-hyung,” a new voice interrupted them through the phone.
Changbin froze.
“Ah, Hyunjin-ah,” Chan coughed, “oh uhm, would you uhh… would you like to come over for dinner tonight?” Chan looked at Changbin for approval and the younger nodded.
“Oh but of course. When and where are we going?”
“My house. Me and Changbin’s house. At uhm..?” Chan looked for confirmation from Changbin.
“Seven,” Changbin answered.
“Seven.”
“Eh?” Hyunjin exclaimed at the mention of going to Chan's house and the presence of another voice.
“Look, Jinnie. Changbin, he, he found out. It’s… I just want all of us to talk about this. We- I- I know this would come. I’m sorry–”
A deep sigh could be heard from the other side of the line.
“Seven is okay but… Coming to your house, it feels wrong and what the hell, your mate has just found out about his alpha’s affair…sounds like a beginning of a murder case. Could we do a restaurant?”
To Chan that wasn’t an irrational request and when Changbin shrugged, meaning that he was okay with the suggestion, he agreed to meet the youngest omega at seven at a nice but casual restaurant downtown.
</3 </3 </3
Changbin put his silver earrings on, pouting while looking at himself in the bathroom mirror, tussling his black hair from side to side to see how it looks the best.
He hated to admit it but he felt nervous. And insecure.
From what he knew, Hyunjin was in many ways the opposite of him. Artistic rather than academic, high-maintenance rather than easy-going, serious and elegant rather than bubbly. He had bleach blonde hair and liked gold jewelry…
Chan held Changbin’s hand while they entered the restaurant. Probably just out of habit since Changbin himself had not taken a notice at the action at first but the second he saw the long, slim figure of the other omega sitting alone at one of the tables, he suddenly became very aware of his and Chan’s interlaced fingers.
Chan held his head down a bit, appropriately for the uncomfortableness of the situation that he had caused and beelined to their reserved table.
He cleared his throat to timidly greet Hyunjin.
Startled from his own thoughts, the omega jumped a little at his seat as he returned the greeting with a ‘hi’.
“Hi,” he then mustered a nervous smile at Changbin.
Changbin answered him with a nod before sitting down on the chair that Chan had pulled out for him, probably again, without even thinking. Both of the omegas definitely were affected by the action. Changbin was weirdly flustered, as if the man wasn’t already his mate and he noticed Hyunjin’s eyes lingering in their shared space. He was very tense and the older omega could not blame him. The position where Chan and Changbin; the real, official, public couple here were seated together on one side while he was alone on the other. It couldn’t have been anything else than intimidating.
“I didn’t order food yet but I got a bottle of wine already,” Hyunjin gestured to the opened, nice bottle and the glasses on the table, “I thought we could share. I- I know neither of you are big drinkers. I just don’t think I can sit through this sober.”
Changbin couldn’t help but laugh a bit at that, seeing a crack in Hyunjin’s polished exterior, an unmistakable charm. It was clear that he was spending every ounce of his energy to keep himself collected and when neither one of the other two didn’t start a conversation, he sipped on his wine, avoiding eye-contact.
Chan awkwardly tried to spark some casual chat by asking Hyunjin how his day had gone, probably trying to ease the younger’s nerves somehow without upsetting his mate by showing too much affection. All he got from that was a short answer during which Hyunjin did not even glance at him.
A collective sigh of relief could be sensed when the waiter came by to ask the table’s orders.
Changbin could see that the waiter’s eyes dwelled longer on Hyunjin than they did on him or Chan, further highlighting the weird position of the omegas. While a part of Changbin believed that the waiter didn’t spare him another glance like that because he didn’t find him attractive the same way he found Hyunjin. Mind you, Changbin thought Hyunjin was fucking gorgeous, he could never compare, no matter what Chan said. The other part of him knew that it was because Changbin was clearly mated with the alpha next to him, holding his bite mark and it being obvious from his smell while Hyunjin was clearly single and on the market. Or well, he wasn’t really single when you think about it. But y’know, he didn’t have a mate.
They were left in the quiet again and Changbin really wanted to say something. Not that he had anything to say but he just wanted something . He needed this situation to have some momentum but there was nothing formulating in his brain.
</3</3</3
Hyunjin downed a large mouthful of his wine with an audible gulp.
“Changbin, why aren’t you being mean to me?”
More wine poured into the glass.
“What?”
“You should hate my guts, scream at me, be passive aggressive and mean to me,” the taller omega looked around between his two companions, “yeah, that’s what you should be. Y’know I imagined all of the ways that this dinner is going to go. That I could leave here angry after fighting with you, that I could declare you a bitch and leave Chan with dramatics, get drunk after and get fucked by another alpha who I will not remember the next morning. Hell, I could even get three at the same time to really hammer it in that all I am is a cheap whore–”
Hyunjin sipped his wine again, taking a deep breath after.
“But no. That would be too easy for me, wouldn’t it? If I got angry and bitter, I could ignore all the other emotions and it would be easy. And now I’m stuck here, not knowing what the fuck to say, what the fuck to feel.”
Changbin tilted his head as he took in everything that the other omega said. He related to what he said, he also didn’t know what to feel or what to say.
“I’m not being mean because I would gain nothing from it. And you’re not the one I should be mad at, you don’t owe me anything, I don’t have any trust in you,” he explained calmly, “it’s the other party here that I’m mad at.”
Chan was gazing between the two omegas, mouth opening and closing like a fish on land, unable to get a proper sentence in.
“Baby–”
“What the fuck have you done to him Chan? The way he’s reacting is scaring me. I can’t, he should be angry, Chan– I can’t…” Hyunjin cut Chan off, head snapping to look at him.
After a moment of staring, he turned to look at Changbin again.
“I know this is naive and hypocritical to only be upset about this situation now that shit hit the fan but, fuck, seeing you in person is really messing with my head right now. You never felt like someone relatable or real to me when Chan and I were together. And I… sort of was able to antagonize you in my mind. Y’know, outta sight: outta mind type deal. I wasn’t hurting you in my head when I was doing it.”
Yeah, Changbin could see that it was messing with Hyunjin's head right now. He seemed nearly manic.
Hyunjin pointed an accusatory finger towards Chan.
“But YOU. You knew what you were doing and who you were hurting the whole time. But you just didn’t care. I can’t believe you couldn’t just fucking reject the first whore that threw themselves at you–”
“Hyunjin, stop calling yourself that,” Chan said sternly.
Hyunjin laughed, absolutely appalled.
“Why yes I will, someone has to, because your omega here is too fucking nice to say as it is.”
The two looked at each other arms crossed as if they were challenging each other to prove something about the omega’s self-confidence.
“It’s not that I’m with you just because. You are a precious person to me, Hyunjin.”
“Fuck you and your little dick, Bang Chan,” Hyunjin spat, successfully shutting the alpha up, “if you really cared about me you would’ve turned me down gently and nourished our friendship. Not whatever this is. Selfish bitch.”
A deep silence settled between the three again.
Changbin was looking down at his hands on his lap. Completely silent, he had nothing to add to this conversation anymore and he felt like crying again. But he was good at controlling his emotions, he would never do it in public.
Hyunjin exhaled through his nose.
“I’ve never felt worse about myself than I do now, so thanks a lot for that, Chan,” he smiled sarcastically, “I never want to see you again. You ruined a good friendship by not rejecting me. You ruined your mate’s trust. You ruined everything. I truly wish Changbin could leave your ass too, that is the only thing you deserve. But I know he’s too nice and loving to do that.”
Changbin looked up at him with a sad, exhausted smile.
“I guess we all have our own privileges,” he said.
Hyunjin looked at him questioningly.
“I get to come out of this situation as the innocent, morally-correct one, the winner. If people knew, I would be the one who they sympathize with and I’m the one who has his love to keep,” he sighed softly, “but you’re the one who gets to leave, the one who can just call this a mistake that happened a long time ago in a few years. You get to start everything over. While I’m stuck. This all is now part of my life, forever. But you can leave it in the past”
The two omegas stared at each other.
Hyunjin’s heart ached. He swallowed harshly. He was surrounded by people but he felt so, so, so alone.
“You’re very wise and very kind. But trust me, this will forever follow me. I know I’ll pay for this one way or another.”
He slammed two ₩50 000 bills on the table and stood up.
“Chan, never contact me again. I hope you’re fucking ashamed of yourself,” he declared.
Face softening, he turned to Changbin and said:
“I am so sorry, Changbin for my part in this. I’m an idiot and I feel so bad. I feel like in another life, we could’ve been friends.”
He bid his final goodbye before he stormed out of the restaurant.
…
………………….
And after the storm comes a calm. But no one ever said that the calm was good.
Chan and Changbin were left dumbfounded. Neither of them could’ve ever imagined that there was a possibility to experience a silence this awkward with a person who you’ve been mated with for over 7 years.
“Should we call for the bill?” Changbin asked, looking down at his ⅔ finished dish.
Chan quietly agreed.
Both unable to make eye-contact, Changbin huffed somewhere between amusement and frustration.
“Why did he leave this much money, this easily covers his share and most of ours too…”
Chan contemplated for a while whether to say anything in response before very quietly saying:
“Because of the wine probably…”
Changbin shrugged.
Hyunjin indeed drank a lot during the meeting. Fast too.
Changbin wondered if things of this nature were one of the things that gravitated Chan towards Hyunjin. Chan was a highly empathetic person who loved to help other people, which in itself is a great thing. Changbin fell head over heels for the alpha partly because of his impeccable kindness. However, Chan has also always had issues with his self-confidence and Changbin believes that he has never really gotten to process them. Changbin knew for a fact that he was one of the only people who Chan relied on and that concerned Changbin to an extent. The poor self-confidence mixed with his high drive to help and feel for people ultimately created a concoction where Chan would take other people’s issues on his shoulders rather than dealing with his own and while this looked heroic to people from afar it would only lead to hurt Chan himself and the ones or the one closest to him: Changbin. Like a pattern, this was the outcome of their current situation as well.
That’s why Changbin wondered about Hyunjin’s relationship with alcohol, maybe even other substances as well. If Chan had seen this talented, creative but horribly troubled and disorganised person, he would’ve immediately been driven to start collecting the pieces of this person and start helping and organizing them. To fix the omega and save him from himself.
The way Chan had reacted when Hyunjin called himself a whore wasn’t lost on Changbin either:
“Hyunjin, stop calling yourself that.”
There was definitely something there.
Chan had said that the affection he felt for Hyunjin was different from what he felt for his mate. And if it wasn’t looks or age or sex then could this be that? Changbin had never needed Chan’s saving or Chan’s fixing. From the beginning Changbin has been strong and independent, he came from a wealthier background than Chan and has always sort of had his shit together. And although Chan loves him and has decided to spend the rest of his life with him, secretly he craves a partner who he can save and take care of.
These thoughts were running through Changbin’s head as he watched the alpha call for the bill. He sat in silence as the alpha payed, smiling politely at the waiter
He wondered if Minji and Saeon were already preparing to go to sleep. Or was Minji trying to convince her aunt to let them stay up later now that they were out of their parents’ supervising eyes. He chuckled as he thought about his little troublemaker. He should phone his sister when they got home if she had gotten the two rascals to bed fine.
Chan looked at him with a questioning look and Changbin just shook his head as he smiled.
“I was just wondering how Chaesong has been dealing with Minji and Saeonnie. Y’know how sneaky Min Min has been lately.”
Chan simply nodded. He wanted to smile and agree with Changbin because the topic of his daughter always made him happy. But he just simply couldn’t.
It was the first normal sounding sentence he had heard from the omega in the day and he didn’t know how to respond to it so he just laughed awkwardly. Changbin’s smile started dropping too as the reality of the situation dawned upon him again. He sniffled lightly.
“Shall we go then?” he looked up at his mate.
The alpha nodded in affirmation following the omega closely out of the restaurant.
The sun was setting, painting the sky and the buildings around them beautiful colors.
Chan opened the passenger side door for Changbin before getting in the car himself.
The omega mouthed a thank you and they drove home in silence.
</3 </3 </3
Changbin laid on his stomach next to Chan who was pretending to be asleep. Changbin knew he was pretending, he had his hand on the alpha’s chest and he picked up from Chan’s breathing pattern that he hadn’t actually fallen asleep yet.
The omega didn’t even bother. He was anxiously biting his bottom lip, blinking rapidly as he tried to gather his thoughts.
Next to him laid an alpha who he once thought was an unbelievable catch. Scratch that; Chan still was an unbelievable catch. He was handsome, strong, fit, sexy, kind, smart, loving and a great father willing to give his omega the family and support that the omega has always craved. Let’s not forget that Chan was a skilled lover, a successful career man and a gentleman. He was nothing short of a perfect alpha and they were nothing short of a perfect couple. Their family was nothing short of a perfect family.
People, even their friends and family, have never been shy to admit their envy of the couple. Time and time again they would hear exclamations of awe about how young they had found each other and how beautiful their family was. Omegas would ask for a tip on how to get themselves an alpha such as Chan who would give the stars from the sky to their omega if they asked. They would tell him how he was the luckiest omega in the world and how Chan is the ideal partner and how their love for each other radiated like sun rays in the spring.
Changbin scooted closer to Chan, nails digging slightly into the skin of the pec his hand was resting on. The alpha had probably just started to doze off because Changbin heard a short but unaware hiss from the alpha and he habitually let the omega curl against his chest.
Changbin swallowed dryly as he felt the alpha’s arm close around him protectively because all what those people would say is true. It was true and it continues to be true. Chan has given him the best life he could’ve ever asked for and he likes to believe he had done the same for the alpha. Chan was incredible and loving and absolutely irreplaceable.
Changbin would never ever ever leave. He would never ever ever be ungrateful or yearn for a different life or wish he could go back.
Technically and mostly, everything was still perfect.
But what Changbin now had to unfortunately live with is that no matter how picture perfect everything about them was, how much Chan loved him and how much he loved Chan back:
Changbin might still need to always share Chan’s heart with another…