Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Yoonji curses under her breath, staring at her soiled underwear. "No no no no, fuck fuck fuck!" 

This is the worst thing that could happen to her today. 

Getting her period on a Monday right after her first class is really not how she saw her day going. 

She didn’t even bring her kit with her because her period wasn’t supposed to come for another week. With a grunt, she grabs an insane amount of toilet paper and wraps it around her underwear, and tells herself to go see the nurse for a pad. She wipes herself, rolling her eyes when she sees all the blood, and then flushes. Seriously, did she have to be a girl? 

She meets Jimin by her friend's locker. She leans against the hard metal with a loud sigh. "I got my period this morning." It's recess time, which means they have about fifteen minutes before they have to go back to class. Yoonji hates school. If it was up to her, she'd be home-schooled. But according to her parents, she needs "to stop reading those english books and remember she's korean". Or whatever. 

Jimin, Yoonji's best friend, turns to her with wide eyes. "Really? Again?" 

Yoonji nudges her shoulder. "Yes, again." She chuckles a little because of course Jimin would say something like this. 

"It's just.. so soon? I feel like you just got them." Jimin says after she closes her locker. 

"Tell me about it." Yoonji groans. "Maybe my cycle is a short one. I read that some girls have cycles as short as 21 days." 

"Gosh, that feels really short." Jimin replies. 

They start walking down the hall to go outside. But of course, life isn't as easy. Yoonji sees the three boys running around and rolls her eyes at the sight. God, boys are so dumb, she thinks. She grimaces when they make disturbing faces at her and Jimin, who only looks away. "Gosh, I hate boys so much." She retorts once they're outside. 

The two young girls sit on the stairs, pushing their skirts under their legs. Jimin laughs at Yoonji's words. "You won't say that once you get a boyfriend." 

Yoonji pulls a face. "Eurgh! No, never, I am never letting a boy and let alone a man approach me!"  She takes a little bag of dried fruits out of her bag and opens it, offering some to Jimin. 

"So you're never going to get married and have children?" Jimin asks as she takes a few snacks in her hands. Yoonji watches as her best friend carefully places each dry fruit in her mouth, wrapping her plump limps around the small snacks every time. Yoongi wonders if Jimin knows how beautiful she is sometimes. The young girl is so shy and sweet and gentle, while Yoongi is a bit of a rebel who doesn't care much about everything. Yoonji doesn't know how they did manage to even stay friends for ten years already, but still. She wouldn't give this up for anything. 

"No." She replies fiercely. "No man is ever going to grace the temple that is my body!" She adds with a playful tone and Jimin laughs. 

"You're crazy, Yoonji-ah!" 

"Yet you love me, Minnie!" 

Jimin visibly blushes at the little pet name and Yoonji is a little proud of herself. They sit together for the rest of recess, talking about their classes. Once recess is over, the two girls head towards their classrooms. They have a different class but thankfully, they're right next to each other's so they can have a bit more time together. But that also means they're walking back with other of their classmates. Who happen to be boys. 

"Hey Jimin-ah! How do you feel about making today our day one?" 

Jimin looks away, not answering but Yoonji glares at the boys as they rush down the corridors, snickering to themselves. Gosh, she really hates boys. She turns to Jimin and then bumps her shoulder. 

"See you later at lunch in the square?" 

Jimin nods and they part ways to go to their classes. Yoonji wishes they were in the same class, just so she could be with Jimin all day. It's a selfish want but she can't help it. When she and her family moved here, Jimin was her first friend. With her bright and gentle personality, there was no way Yoonji wouldn't like her. The worst thing about it, Yoonji tried so hard to not like her. Yoonji doesn't like people. People suck. Jimin doesn't. She'd like to have an explanation but she does not. 

It's bad for Yoonji. Really bad. 

At lunch, Yoonji finds Jimin in the square, in their usual spot. Except she's not alone. The boy from earlier is with her, and by the shitty grin Yoonji spots on his face, she can guess what he's saying. Enraged, she storms towards them, feet determined and strong paced. Once she's close enough, she doesn't wait for them to notice her. 

"Yah! Move!" She addresses the boy, not bothering to speak formally even though he's older. 

The boy turns to her, his smile fading as soon as he sees her. "What? I-" 

"I don't care if you're about to propose to her. You're in my way, move." 

The boy glances at Jimin, who smiles nervously at him, and waves her hand. The boy glances back at Yoonji who gives the coldest glare she can and the boy literally runs away. Yoonji watches him until he's far away and only then does she turn to Jimin. The other girl has settled on the grass, and started laying out her lunch. Yoongi sits down next to her, doing her best to sit comfortably with her skirt. The pad she got from the nurse earlier is a little weird but well. 

"Why was he here?" Yoonji asks, unable to hold herself back. 

"He just wanted to ask me something." A simple shrug from Jimin but it feels too casual, too nonchalant. 

"What did he ask?" Yoonji knows she won't like the answer, she already knows the answer. 

"He just asked me out." Jimin unwraps a gimbal roll. "It's no big deal." Jimin takes a bite of her roll while Yoonji is frozen. 

Her insides are twisted and there's a lump forming in her throat. She feels her hands shaking, and there's a twitch at the back of her eyes. "He.." the words die on her tongue, as she's unable to properly process it. "What did you say?" She asks after some time. 

Jimin shrugs again. "I said I'd think about it." 

"But you're going to say no, right?" Yoongi pushes. Her lunch is forgotten next to her, so is the world around her. 

Jimin shrugs again, looking up. "I don't know. I need to think about it." 

"Think about .." Yoongi repeats, dumbfounded. "Do you.." She can't believe she's going to say this. "Do you like him?" 

Jimin keeps munching on her roll. She doesn't answer right away, and Yoonji feels like every second is stretched out in front of her. Does Jimin like this guy? She never said anything about him before. Yoonji can barely conjure an accurate picture of the guy in her head. Is he handsome? He's a little taller than Jimin, Yoonji remembers. Maybe that's it. 

"Is it because he's tall?" Yoonji asks. And then, because she's never had any filter ever. "I could be tall too." 

Jimin looks up. "You're literally my height." 

"I am still growing!" Yoonji retorts, thought it's a lie. For a sixteen years old Korean girl, she is quite tall but she's stopped growing around last year. 

"Yoonji-ah, why do you even care?" Jimin asks, and she tilts her head towards Yoonji, eyes set on her. 

Yoonji isn't sure why, but she feels cornered. The truth is right there for her to say, but she can't. "I just didn't know you were interested in him." In men, her brain says. 

Jimin shrugs once more, going back to her gimbap roll. "Does it matter if I am interested?" Somehow, those words infuriates Yoonji more than they should. 

Yoonji wants to say that it does, it matters to her, it matters if Jimin is going to say yes. She wants to say that this boy sucks, that they all do, that no one in the world deserves Jimin anyway, that she's too good for anybody, with her kind eyes and her pretty brown hair and her round cheeks and pouty lips. She wants to say that this boy is dumb, as dumb as his feet, but then she realizes that someone has to be clever if they fancy Jimin. 

But she doesn't say all that. She stays quiet and eats her own lunch, pushing her frustration down to the pit of her stomach. 

By some curse, Jimin does end up going out with that guy. Yoonji immensely disagrees but Jimin is her own woman who makes her own decisions so she ends up dating the guy. Park Hyungsik. Yoonji hates it. She feels a little stupid at first, because nothing really changes. Jimin and her still hang out at school and afterwards. They still have a lot of fun together, but it's just that now, Jimin talks about her boyfriend a lot. A lot. 

At first, it's fine. It's just a few things. How handsome Hyungsik is, how clever he is, how affectionate he is, how this, how that. Yoonji hears it all, and she nods along even though each time, she feels her heart breaking a little more. She tells herself that nothing is that perfect and that they'll break up soon. But Jimin and Hyungsik celebrate their 100th day together, and he actually shows up to school with flowers and chocolates. For their 200th day together, he offers Jimin a new pair of ballet pointe shoes. At the sight, Yoonji wants to hurl. A year of school ends and a new one starts, and they are still together. Hyungsik spent a summer abroad with his family and Yoonji had kinda hoped that the phrase out of sight, out of mind would be proven right. But the first day back and Hyungsik and Jimin are tight as ever. 

On the first week back to school, Yoonji comes home angrier than she's ever been. Her older brother, Minyuk notices. "Everything okay?" 

Minyuk is a good brother, he cares about his little sister deeply. He's always there for here if need be. So Yoonji is hopeful when she asks him. "Why do people date anyway?" 

Minyuk is a little taken aback but he knows his sister so he takes a seat next to her on the couch, ready to help. "Is this about Jimin?" 

Yoonji frowns. "How do you know?" 

Minyuk chuckles. "I am afraid every boy in your school is too afraid to ask you out so it can't be that." 

"And they should be." Yoonji flips her hair back. "They don't deserve me." 

"That's my sister!" They high five and share a laugh but then Minyuk insists. "So it is about Jimin." 

Yoonji sighs. "I just don't understand. Why are they still together?" She grunts and starts fidgeting on the couch. "I looked it up. Teenagers relationships barely last six months. It's the time of exploring. They've been together for almost a year. I just don't get it." She throws her body on the side arm in an attempt to physically portray how she feels. Minyuk laughs then pinches her calf. Yoonji barely flinches. 

"Well, a lot of things can be considered. Maybe they are in love." Minyuk says. 

Yoonji, who had been in the middle of hanging her head upside down, flips upwards immediately. "What? That's impossible. You can't fall in love after dating for nine months, that's unrealistic!" 

"Hum, I am not sure." Minyuk replies. "Some people fall in love fast. Some people only need a minute. Some need more. It's all about the person." 

Yoonji thinks about it for a minute. Jimin never mentioned anything about being in love. Sure, she talks about his hair, his kindness, his smile, his intelligence, but she never said the words "I love him". Or at least not to Yoonji. "How do you know someone is in love?" 

Minyuk ponders the question for a moment. "Again, it depends. I think love happens when that person is all you can think about. As in, when all you can think about is that one person specifically. When you want to see them all the time. When you think about them at random times, when you shouldn't be thinking about them. And sometimes you find yourself missing them when they're still here with you. You miss them on the days you don't, and even then, you miss them a little bit still." 

Yoonji listens to her brother and she feels like her brain is being wired in a whole new way. What he's saying..  "This .. this is love?" 

Minyuk nods. "I think so." 

Yoonji sits there, processing her brother's words. If this is love then.. oh no. Oh shit. 

All of sudden, she stands up and runs to her room. "I have homework!" She actually does have a lot of assignments to start but the minute she gets to her bed, she takes her phone out and starts researching. 

naver search bar : can two girls be in love? 

naver search bar: what happens when i like my best friend? 

naver search bar : does love break friendship? 

naver search bar: girls in love 

The last research gets her on very shady websites that she closes immediately.. after lingering for a few seconds when she sees a video of two girls kissing. Naked. 

She falls back on her bed and thinks. Could she actually be in love with Jimin? Naver says that it's not uncommon and Yoonji bookmarked the page which suggested movies and books about it. She's not sure how exactly but the more she thinks about it, the more she thinks she's a little stupid for not realizing it sooner. All the times she thought Jimin was very beautiful? All the times she got sad when she couldn't see Jimin even if it was just for a day? All the times she sneaked out to go over to Jimin's house? Yoonji thinks about doing this for a boy and grimaces at the thought. No, definitely not. No boy would ever deserve her breaking curfew or sneaking out. Also, why would she go over to her boy's house anyway? It's not like she wants to kiss them. 

Oh. 

Oh no. 

Yoonji has seen Jimin and Hyungsik kiss before. Just a quick peck on the cheek before they each head over to class. Each time, Jimin would blush and hide her face but, Jimin has gone over to his house before. Only a couple of times but. Yoonji's hands form fists around her sheets. Did they kiss? Did they use tongue? Did they do anything else? Did they do more? Jimin has never told her. Or maybe she did, but Yoonji tends to tune out the minute Hyungsik is mentioned so she's not sure. 

Grabbing the pillow behind her head, she places it over her face and lets out a frustrated scream. 

It's probably worse now that she knows she loves Jimin. Now every time she sees Jimin and Hyungsik together, bile forms in her throat and she has to look away. What she thought was just anger at the thought of being replaced by a boy, is actually jealousy and she learns it in the worst way. It's worse because now she knows and she can't do anything so she just stays silent and keep her feelings to herself. It's unlike her, to quiet her thoughts, but she sees the way Jimin smiles at Hyungsik, and she doesn't want to risk breaking that. Sacrifices have to be made sometimes. 

Months pass and Yoonji tells herself that time will make her move on, but maybe it was delusion. Her feelings don't go anywhere, and by the time they're ready to go to university, Yoonji thinks she might be done for. But when she gets accepted into Seoul National University, she almost wishes she could go now, and not in five months. She still has to hear from other universities but SNU is in Seoul and they have one of the best music program of the country. Plus, maybe moving will be good for her. She'll be away from Jimin and Hyungsik and maybe only then, she'll know if out of sight, out of mind truly works. 

A week after Yoonji heard the news of her acceptance to SNU, she gets cornered by Jimin before her algebra class. The student looks excited, beaming at Yoonji with bright eyes, holding an envelope in her hand. Yoonji only has to take one look at it before she knows what it means. Her eyes grow wide and she instantly is filled with warmth. "No way?!" 

"I got accepted!" Jimin cheers, jumping with excitement. " I am going to be a ballerina!" 

Jimin and Yoonji both share a shrieking cheer and Jimin hugs Yoonji because of how excited she is. "Oh my god! I can't believe I'm going to be in Seoul, next year! Have you heard from universities yet?" 

Yoonji nods. "Yes. I got accepted into SNU last week." 

Jimin slaps her shoulder. "Bitch! And you didn't tell me?" 

Yoonji rubs her shoulder, faking a grimace, and shrugs. "Well, you were busy." 

Jimin makes a face. "Still! We're best friends!" 

Yoonji purses her lips. She wants to say, she hasn't felt like Jimin's best friend in a while, that what she feels has evolved from friendship-standards but she keeps it all in. Jimin moves on quickly and she locks her arm with Yoonji's. "Can you see it? Us living together in Seoul and going to classes, and having nights at the noraebang and going down the Han river at night?" 

Yoonji chuckles but then she remembers something she read online about the Han river and how it's the spot for couples and their dates. Going there with Jimin.. at night? This raises a question in Yoonji's mind. "Wouldn't you rather go there with Hyungsik? Since you two are a couple and everything." 

Jimin's lips turn into a thoughtful pout. "I don't think he's going to university." 

"He's not?" Yoonji asks. "What is he going to do then?" 

Jimin shrugs, looking sort of disinterested. "I don't know, and I don't think he does either." 

"Not knowing.. in this economy.." Yoonji shakes her head in disbelief. 

Jimin chuckles. "Anyway. We should have a sleepover to celebrate." 

Yoonji frowns a little. They haven't had a sleepover in a while. With Jimin spending all her free time with her boyfriend, they don't see each other as much outside of school. "Sure, why not." 

"Cool! I'll ask Eomma and Appa if you can come over tonight but they'll say yes obviously." 

Yoonji grins. "Of course. Everyone loves me." 

Jimin chuckles, tightening her hold around Yoonji's arms. "Yes, they do!" 

They talk a bit more on their way to class, though it's mostly Jimin talking about all the amazing things they'll do in Seoul. Yoonji won't lie, the more she listens to Jimin talking, the more excited she gets. Their life in Seoul, or at least the one depicted by Jimin, sounds promising. Yoonji almost forgets that only a few days ago, she was hoping that she would be alone in Seoul in order for her to move on. But she tells herself that if Hyungsik isn't going to be there, then it'd be fine. 

"Ha Yoonji-ah!" Jimin's mother greets her cheerfully the minute she enters the Park household. "It's been so long!" 

Yoonji takes off her shoes and bows deeply to Jimin's parents. "Almeoni, Ahjussi, good evening!" 

Jimin's father opens his arms wide and immediately Yoonji goes to hug him. He's like her second father, and she considers him family. He takes one good look at her and clicks his tongue. "Finally, a face I want to see!"

Jimin, who's been standing in the corner, groans. "Appa!" 

Jimin's father only glares back. "What? It's true!" 

Jimin rolls her eyes and moves to grab Yoonji's hands. "Whatever, we'll be in my room." Jimin leads Yoongi down a familiar path. Yoonji chuckles at her best friend's behavior. Jimin is usually very sweet with her parents but well, teenagers. They're weird, she would know. 

The two young girls spend the late afternoon eating snacks and watching a few k-drama episodes. Halfway through an episode, Jimin speaks up. "I think I wanna break up with Hyungsik." 

Yoonji, who is nose deep in a bag of chips trying to get the last bits, stops. She pulls her face out of the bag and wipes her mouth. Jimin chuckles at her. "Why?" Yoonji asks. "Did he do something? Did he hurt you?" 

Jimin shakes her head, letting her head fall on her pillow. "No, he's sweet as always, but I don't know. I don't want to go to Seoul with a boyfriend." 

Yoonji nods, registering what the words mean. "So you want to be a whore." 

Jimin playfully slaps Yoonji's shoulder, and Yoonji lies down next to her friend, slightly laughing. "I mean.. you must have thought about all the boys we're going to meet at university." 

Even though, Jimin isn't looking at her, Yoonji averts her eyes. "I guess." She lies. She hasn't thought about boys at all. If she is being completely honest, she's never really thought about boys ever. Not in that way, at least. 

"I think I'll do it tomorrow. He and I have a free period together." Jimin continues, unaware of Yoongi's thoughts. 

"Already?" Yoonji is surprised by this. 

"I just want to rip the bandaid off." Jimin shrugs. "It's better this way." 

Yoonji feels her insides twist. If Jimin and Hyungsik break up, then that means Jimin really means it when she says she wants to meet boys in Seoul. Except there won't be just boys there, there'll be men. And if men are anything like the boys in their school, they're going to throw themselves at Jimin's feet. 

"Maybe you shouldn't break up with him.." Yoonji says the words she never thought she ever would. 

"What?" Jimin raises herself up on her elbows. 

"I mean," Yoonji clicks her tongue, trying to think of something, "it's going to break his heart." Okay. She could have found a better reason than that. 

Jimin scoffs. "Since when do you care about him?" 

Yoonji rolls her eyes. "Look, I just think maybe it's hasty. You don't need to break up with him now. Plus, who says the people in Seoul are going to be attractive?" Okay, now she's just straight up not even trying to be rational anymore. 

"Yoonji-ah." Jimin calls her. "If I want to break up with my boyfriend, I will." 

Yoonji is a little taken aback by Jimin's tone. "Okay. You do what you want." She plays with the hem of her shirt, trying really hard to focus back on the episode they were watching, though she has no idea what's happening anymore. 

A moment passes before Jimin speaks up again. "Are you scared people won't find you attractive in Seoul?" 

Yoonji's brain short-circuits. She sits up and turns to Jimin, frowning. "What the fuck?" 

Jimin sits up too. "I didn't mean it that you're not pretty! You are! It's just.. no boys in our school want to date you.." 

"And I don't want to date any of them, so good for all of us!" Yoonji retorts. Jimin purses her lips, while Yoonji sighs. Jimin has never been that straightforward with her. "Why would you say that?" Yoonji asks, though it's not exactly what she wants to say. 

Jimin shrugs but she looks nervous. "I don't know.. I just.. Aren't you lonely?" 

"Lonely?" 

"Yeah, I mean.. you don't have friends other than me, and sometimes I get worried when I am with Hyungsik that since you're not with me, then you're alone." Jimin says, and Yoonji sees her bottom lip quivering, a sign that the girl might cry soon. It breaks Yoonji's heart a little but she doesn't move to comfort her friend. Instead, she brings her knees to her chest. 

"Look," she starts, taking a deep breath, "I am good on my own. I don't need anyone to be happy. I like my own company, I like it better than most people's. You don't have to worry about me when you're with your boyfriend because I am fine." 

Jimin nods, registering the words. "But .. don't you want someone?" 

Yoonji does want someone. But that someone isn't hers to have. "Not right now, I don't." 

Jimin nods again. "I am sorry I said boys might find you unattractive." 

Yoonji pats her leg. "It's fine. It stings but well. I guess I can't be everyone's taste." 

Jimin sits up better so that she's eye-level with Yoonji. "You are very pretty, Yoonji-ah. Boys will see it." 

Boys. The last of Yoonji's worries. "Sure. I am in no rush though." She shrugs, and lets herself fall back down on the bed. She's in no rush to get with a boy. Ever.

Jimin lies back down again and for a while, the drama episode plays. The voices of the actors fill the space but Yoonji can't think about anything else other than Jimin and her worries. Jimin worrying about her being alone.. Is Yoonji that transparent? It's true, she does not have friends other than Jimin. Sure, she talks to people in her class but, they're not her friends. Not like Jimin at least. Plus, she wasn't lying when she said she likes her own company. She'd rather be alone than ill-accompanied. 

Later, after dinner - where both girls were quiet at the table and Jimin's parents kept looking between them, wondering what happened to the usually very chatty and loud duo -, the two girls settled in Jimin's room again. Jimin is going through her playlist, picking what to listen, and Yoonji is rubbing some lotion on her arms. Yoonji is putting her hair in a bun when Jimin speaks up. "Let me do your makeup." 

Yoonji looks at her like she's grown two heads. "Did Ahjussi sneak you some liquor?" 

Jimin clicks her tongue. "Come on, I'll do it really pretty." 

Yoonji tilts her head. "Minnie, I don't even own makeup." 

Jimin sighs. "And the fact that you still look this good is unfair, trust me." At this, Yoonji blushes and looks away. She's not good at getting compliments, let alone when it's from Jimin. "Come on, I'll do it simple but really pretty!" 

Yoonji hates to admit it, but now she is wondering how she'd look with makeup on. She always likes to watch the girl groups perform and when she was younger, she did like to dance and sing along to them. Though makeup at the time wasn't one of her preoccupations, now she does want to know. "Okay, fine." 

Jimin beams and claps her hand in delight. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Jimin moves quite fast and before she knows it, Yoonji is pulled up to sit against the bed. Jimin sits next to her sideways, laying out all of her makeup palettes. Jimin has always liked makeup. In middle school, she had started wearing a little bit of mascara with foundation. Now, in high school, she openly wears eyeliner. Jimin has always been a little more feminine than Yoonji, and that has never bothered either of them. Yoonji sits patiently as Jimin starts putting colors on Yoonji's eyelids. The song in the background is catchy, even a little sensual in Yoonji's mind but she tells herself it's nothing. 

"Have you ever watched the movie "My First Summer" ?" Jimin asks, as she continues to apply make up on Yoonji. 

Yoonji tries to think if she has any memory of it. "I don't think so." 

"You should watch it." Jimin says, her voice sweet and low. She's leaning in to brush Yoonji's eyelids with eyeshadow but she's not getting every angle right. "Wait, let me just.." Swiftly, she puts herself on Yoonji's lap. Yoonji's eyes shoot open, surprised at the sudden switch of position. 

"What are you doing?" She asks, voice trembling. She can feel her heart racing in her chest, like it's about to jump right out of it. 

"I need to see you better." Jimin answers casually, as she grabs her palette. "Can you look up and close your eyes for me?" Jimin asks and she pulls Yoonji's face upwards by the chin with the tip of her fingers. 

Yoonji could die. 

She does close her eyes, but she can feel Jimin's breath on her cheek. It's warm and soft and it has a nice rhythm, it's almost soothing. Jimin's weight on her lap isn't much so it's not that bad. After a moment of telling herself to just breathe, Yoonji manages to move past it. It's fine, they're best friends. Friends can be close to each other. They're best friends. What's a little proximity between girls who are best friends? It's fiiiine. 

"It made me think of you." Jimin whispers. Yoonji hums in question, unable to open her eyes. "The movie. It reminded me of you." 

"Oh?" Yoonji finds it strange. "How so?" 

She can't see it, but she feels Jimin shrugging. "When you'll watch it, you'll know." 

Yoonji could roll her eyes. "Okay, I'll tell you then." 

Jimin hums. A few more minutes pass and then, Jimin tells her to open her eyes. "There you go!"  She pulls a hand mirror in front of Yoonji's face to show her. 

Yoonji blinks a few times before she speaks up. "That's.." 

She's never looked prettier. The eyeshadow is subtle but it makes her eyes look longer somehow, and the brown pops a little bit more. Jimin applied some pink color to her cheeks, and Yoonji thinks she looks more alive somehow. Her lips look pinker than usual, and she's halfway considering asking what Jimin used. 

"Do you hate it?" Jimin asks. 

Yoonji looks at her, putting the hand mirror down. "I think I want to marry myself with hot I look right now." 

Jimin's face lights up. "You like it?" 

Yoonji nods. "You did really well." 

Jimin's grin is blinding. "Thank you. You do look really beautiful." 

Yoonji feels good about herself, and a little playful. "Oh really? Should I go to your cute neighbor's house and make a move on him?" She even wiggles her eyebrows thinking about it. "Should I go and kiss him?" 

Jimin gives her playful slap on the shoulder. "Hey! We're having a girls night! No more boy talk!" 

Yoonji laughs. "Alright, alright. Can you move though?" 

Jimin holds her finger up. "Wait. I have to take pictures. For proof." 

"Proof of what?" Yoonji asks while Jimin moves slightly to grab her phone on the bed. For a quick second, she leans over and Yoonji finds herself with Jimin's lower belly in her face. Yoonji tries to avert her eyes but if she looks up, she will have Jimin's breasts in her face, and if she looks down, it'd be her legs. She decides to close her eyes, not needing her brain to think about things she definitely should not be thinking about. 

Jimin falls back on her lap and angles her phone at Yoonji's face. "Okay come on, strike a pose." 

Yoonji shakes her head to get back to her playful mode and decides to do as she's told. She strikes a few poses and Jimin giggles as she snaps the pictures. The two girls laugh as they look at them. "Please, never show these to anyone." 

"Don't worry about it. Only my eyes can see you like this." Jimin says. 

Yoonji smiles. Jimin doesn't move from Yoonji's lap and keeps looking at her. Yoonji holds her gaze for a minute, before she starts getting flustered. Jimin isn't looking away from her, and the way she's looking at her feels .. strange. "Why are you just looking at me?" 

Jimin gives a small shrug. "Can't I look at you?" 

Yoonji clears her throat. "I guess, you just don't do that usually-" The next words out of her mouth die when Jimin pushes a strand of hair behind Yoonji's ear. Jimin still looks at her, and maybe it's because they're standing closer than they've ever been, but Yoonji feels the air shift somehow. There's a small tint to Jimin's lips and Yoonji hopes Jimin can't see how many times her eyes have drifted to them. Jimin doesn't move, her hand still close to Yoonji's ear. Slowly, she lets the back of her knuckles glide over Yoonji's cheek. Yoonji's lips fall open in a quiet gasp, her pulse racing. The color on her cheeks isn't due to the blush Jimin diligently applied anymore. Jimin is still looking at her, but her eyes have turned .. sad. 

"Minnie?" Yoonji tries, unsure.

There's a tear in Jimin's eyes, threatening to fall. "You know it's you, right?" 

Yoonji doesn't understand. "What do you mean?" 

The tear falls down Jimin's cheek and she smiles. "You're my best friend." 

Yoonji isn't sure what's happening. Ten minutes ago, they were laughing. What happened? "Jiminie, what's wrong?" 

Jimin shakes her head. "Nothing, I just.." She sniffles a little, then put on a smile. "Nothing. I am probably nearing my period. I have been feeling emotional lately." 

Yoonji knows what PMS can feel like, and though Jimin rarely has any symptoms, Yoonji believes her. She pats Jimin's thigh carefully. "Then let's get in bed and get some rest, okay?" 

Jimin nods. She stands up, off of Yoonji's lap and Yoonji hates that she notices how cold she suddenly feels. She tells herself that it's only because of Jimin's body warmth and that she'll get used to her normal temperature again shortly. She goes to take off the makeup and she feels weird when she sees her normal face underneath afterwards. It takes her a moment, she stares at her reflection in the mirror and thinks back on Jimin's words from earlier. Should she put on makeup more? If she does, would people notice her more? Would boys notice her? She grimaces at the thought of boys ever coming near her. She has no interest in boys but.. she's never been kissed. She's turned eighteen last month and yet, she has never been kissed by anyone. She sighs. This is so embarrassing, she thinks. For a quick second, she wonders if there are girls who date other girls at university.. She shakes her head quickly, pushing the thought away. She's still far away from that life. Plus, she needs to get over her feelings for Jimin. Easier said than done, especially after tonight, but she'll manage. She's Min Yoonji, she got this. 

She doesn't got this. 

She doesn't got this at all.

One month after moving to Seoul with Jimin, Yoonji thinks she will die in this city. The streets are loud, there are people everywhere, and she's certain her roommate smokes weed. Her classes are interesting though, and by the first couple of weeks, she comes off as a teacher's favourite, which she's not complaining about. She goes to a mixer party one night and five minutes in, she wants to leave and go back to her dorm room. But Jimin, who oh so gently accompanied her although she technically doesn't go to this university, makes her stay, saying she won't make any friends if she stays in her dorm room all the time. Which, okay, she's right. But Jimin has always a little bit more sociable than Yoonji, and Yoongi just doesn't see why she can't stay in her dorm room all day, composing songs. 

But well, she's here now, at this party she already hates, nursing a drink she knows she won't like, praying that she can go home soon. She stands by a wall, counting the minutes till she can. 

"Hey." 

She turns to her right to find a tall young man. He has short brown-ish hair and she can't really see much of his face because the lighting in this party sucks but he has full lips and a little button nose that reminds her of a child's. His cheeks are round and look soft as well. He looks sort of familiar but she can't pinpoint where she's seen him before. Instantly, she rolls her eyes. "Don't waste your time, I am not interested."

The young man raises a curious eyebrow. "You're not interested in making a new friend?" 

"I have enough friends." Yoonji replies, turning back to stare at the crowd. 

"You look lonely, though." The young man says. Yoonji sighs while the man extends a hand. "I am Kim Namjoon. I am in your creative writing class." 

At this, Yoonji turns back to him. Oh, that's where she knows him from. Kim Namjoon, the boy who somehow won the heart of their creative writing teacher during the first class. She looks down at the hand he is still offering. 

"Ah." She looks at him then back at his hand. "Why would I be friends with you?" 

Kim Namjoon drops his hand, and he looks a little sad about it but Yoonji is a wary person. She doesn't have male friends, never saw the interest in being friends with guys. Boys from high school were dumb and Yoonji has only been at university for a few weeks but so far, boys seem to be just as stupid. 

"Well. We're in the same class, and I don't know.. I thought we could.. I thought it'd just be nice to have a friend that goes through the same thing as me." For someone she literally met officially only a minute ago, he's certainly very honest and open. Plus, he doesn't sound like the toxic men in the movies Jimin insisted they watched over the summer. 

"Okay. Fine." She shrugs. "Let's be friends or whatever." 

Kim Namjoon smiles at her, and he stands a little taller, shoulders high and chest bumped. "Cool. How old are you?" 

"I turned eighteen in March. You?" 

"I turned seventeen a few weeks ago." 

"Wait, what?" Yoonji's eyes grow wide. "You're seventeen? What the .. how on earth are you in university?" 

Kim Namjoon suddenly looks very shy and his hand comes to rub the back of his neck. "I skipped a few grades." 

Yoonji stares at him then looks around. Everyone else is dancing, following the loud music playing. Everyone here is of legal age. Maybe some people here are even older than her. Suddenly , she realizes that she can't let Namjoon stay here. If she had a younger brother at a university mixer party, she wouldn't want him to stay. "Do you want to go and get a snack somewhere? I haven't had dinner yet." 

It's a lie, but Kim Namjoon doesn't know her that well. He frowns though. "You came to a party without eating? And you're drinking?" 

Yoonji rolls her eyes. "Yah, are you sure you're only seventeen? Why are you speaking like a dad?" 

Kim Namjoon grimaces but then he chuckles a little. "Alright, alright, noona. Let's just go."  

Yoonji doesn't even tease for calling her with the honorific when they haven't talked about it yet, but she supposes it'll come later. She nods at him before fishing her phone out. "Sure, let me just text Jimin.." She quickly types a text message to Jimin, telling her she's heading outside with Kim Namjoon. 

"Who's Jimin?" Kim Namjoon asks. 

"My best friend." Yoonji answers instantly. She pockets her phone again and looks up at Kim Namjoon. "Alright, let's go." 

The two new friends go into the night, and Yoonji finds herself enjoying Kim Namjoon's company. They find a convenience store nearby and share ice cream cones and soft drinks on the sidewalk. 

"So, like, did you move here alone?" Yoonji asks curiously. "How does a seventeen years old even get into university?" 

Namjoon chuckles while he takes a bite of the frozen flavored ice. "I was supposed to enroll last year, but I told my parents it would be awful for me to be a sixteen years old at university. When I got tested for my IQ, everyone was so ecstatic for me to be the youngest graduate or the youngest scientist to do whatever. Which, don't get me wrong, I like maths and science and for a moment, I wanted to become a scientist too." 

"But you're in the music program.." Yoonji says, thinking to herself. 

Namjoon nods. "That's all I have ever wanted to do. Write songs and hope someone listens to them and that it reaches them." 

Yoonji thinks about it, about how young Namjoon is. She can't imagine how much pressure he must have been under. He's only seventeen, a child, thrown into a world full of adults, expected to know everything and be everything, be great at everything. Yoongi doesn't know what it's like, thanks to her parents being somewhat supportive of her scholar choices, but still. 

"I'd like to hear them." 

Namjoon turns to her. "What?" 

Yoonji eats the last bit of ice cream cone before he stands up, dusting off her knees. "Come on, let's hear it." 

Namjoon looks at her then around at the street they're in. "Huh.. are you mad?" 

She chuckles. "No. But if you want your songs to reach people, they have to be heard right? So let me hear them." 

Namjoon nods before he takes his phone out. "Well, I only have a couple of them finished on my phone but-" 

"No, you gotta perform them for me." Yoonji insists. 

All the color on Namjoon's face leaves. "Noona.." 

"Kim Namjoon-ssi." Yoonji says, teasingly. "It's just me. If you can't perform in front of me, how are you going to perform in front of people?" 

Namjoon blinks at her before he clenches his fists and stands up. Yoonji grins at him and goes back to sit on the curb. Namjoon, tall and sturdy, stands on the side of the road, and takes a few deep breaths before he starts. 

Now, Yoonji wasn't sure what she was expecting. But she probably wasn't expecting this seventeen year old kid to start rapping like he was spitting fire. His voice is grave, but a little higher than when he speaks. His whole body gets animated and Yoonji feels like she's watching a superstar performing. Namjoon moves his hands and even does facial expressions that reminds Yoonji of her favorite rappers. She listens carefully and even nods a little bit. The beat is fast and it flows and she gets into it even though there's no instrumental background. She prefers it accapella though. 

Once Namjoon stops, he breathes out loudly, and closes his eyes. "Gosh that was stressful." He turns to Yoonji, eyes full of expectations. "So? What do you think?" 

Yoonji thinks about her words carefully. She loved it. She thinks Namjoon could the next biggest Kpop idol, truly. She wants him on stage right now, and she'd be the first in line at the show. She wants him to win awards for his poetic words and his flow and his presence and-. 

She shrugs. "I can do better."  

Namjoon grins. "Oh yeah?" Namjoon steps aside and gesture at his spot. "Well, by all means." 

Yoonji grins too. Who's this kid and where's the shy boy who approached her at the party? Yet, she stands up, ready to show off a little. Namjoon takes her spot on the curb, putting his hands under his chin, waiting. 

Yoonji shakes off her hands, and cracks her neck. Namjoon laughs. "Are you about to rap or about to fight someone?" 

"Yah!" Yoonji exclaims but she's laughing too. She breathes in and out, clears her throat before he starts singing. It's an unfinished song, barely a verse and a chorus really but it's the only one she can think of right now. It's slower than what she usually writes, and a lot cheesier as well, but it's okay. She's done pretty fast but it feels like forever. She doesn't look at Namjoon once she's done. She just breathes in deeply and goes to sit next to him again. Namjoon doesn't say anything and the longer he stays silent, the more nervous Yoonji grows. 

"Noona." Namjoon finally speaks up and Yoonji waits. "Let's make a kpop duo." 

Yoonji laughs loudly, and slaps Namjoon's shoulder as she does. "Yah! I don't want to be an idol!" 

"Why? You're really good!" Namjoon says. 

Yoonji clicks her tongue. "I am not pretty enough." 

She feels Namjoon turning to her. "Ha noona, don't say that, you're pretty."

"It's okay. I've made peace with it." Yoonji says. She checks her phone to see that it has gotten pretty late and she has gotten a new message from Jimin. 

jimin <3 : who's Kim Namjoon???

yoonji : a friend 

She locks her phone again and puts it back in her pocket. "Wanna have something else before we go home?" 

Namjoon nods. "Can we have hot tteokbokki?" 

"Sure." Yoonji nods. They get up and goes to find a place where they can have the hot snack. Conversation flows easily between them and by the time she goes back to her dorm, Yoonji is glad to have met Kim Namjoon. She still hates parties but maybe not everyone is bad. 

The next day, she meets Jimin for lunch before the younger goes back to her dance class at the conservatory. Jimin looks like she's barely slept. 

"You look awful." Yoonji tells her as her best friend takes another sip of a coffee thermos. 

"Thanks." Jimin replies sarcastically. "Where even were you last night? I looked for you everywhere." 

Yoonji shrugs. "I told you, I met a guy and we went outside to get snacks. That party sucked anyway." 

"I met some nice people." Jimin retorts. "You would have to if you had stayed and not go off into the night with a stranger." She looks upset and Yoonji purses her lips, growing frustrated. 

"Namjoon-ah isn't a stranger, he's in my creative writing class. He makes music too, and he's really nice." She defends, and she hates how animated she's getting. 

"So what, you like him now?" Jimin spats and Yoonji notices how red her eyes are. The dark circles under her eyes are prominent and it makes Yoonji frown. Jimin always wears makeup, especially when she goes to her dance class. Even her tight bun doesn't looks as meticulously done as it usually is. 

"Jimin-ah, what's wrong with you?" 

Jimin stares at her. For a long time, she does just that and Yoonji doesn't know what she's looking for in her eyes. Jimin shakes her head after a minute, looking away. "You wouldn't understand." She grabs her bag at her feet and moves to leave. "I am already late anyway. I'll see you later." 

Yoonji watches as Jimin leaves her alone. Yoonji has no idea what just happened. Was that a fight? An argument? They've never fought before and Yoonji isn't sure how to react. Is Jimin really  upset because Yoonji left the party? But Yoonji didn't even want to go in the first place. Besides, if Jimin wanted her to stay, maybe she should have stayed with Yoonji, the girl thinks. With a groan, she grabs her own bag and heads off towards university again. 

Yoonji checks her phone for the millionth time. It's been days -two weeks actually- and Jimin still hasn't answered her numerous texts. At first, Yoonji was worried, scared. But now that fear and anguish has turned into a small ball of fury fueled by left-over frustration. Jimin is upset with her because of that silly party? Fine. Yoonji is tired of waiting. Maybe this proves that Jimin is right, and Yoonji does need more friends. So when Namjoon suggests they enroll into a club, she immediately agrees. 

Namjoon beams. "Okay, which club do you want to join?" He is holding the university's pamphlet where all the club are summarized. 

Yoonji shrugs as she presses a few more keys on the piano before notting them down on the music sheet. "I don't know. Just nothing that involves sports." 

Namjoon chuckles. "Okay okay.." Yoonji lets him decide because in the couple of weeks of knowing him, she's realized that Namjoon is a very good leader. He may only be seventeen, but he has a keen sense of leadership and Yoonji likes to see him step into that role. Plus, she trusts him. 

"Okay, I've decided!"  

"Great, now help me finish this song." Yoonji says and Namjoon obliges. He's become her study partner and a good friend to have around. Namjoon has a very calming nature, although sometimes Yoonji wonders how on earth is he still alive judging by how clumsy and accident-prone the younger boy can be but well. Yoonji is here to make sure he doesn't die so young. 

A few days later, Namjoon leads Yoonji to the room where the first meeting of the club is being held. Yoonji, dressed in all black and her favorite Mastermind bomber jacket, follows him, asking all sorts of questions. She did ask Namjoon what kind of club this was, but the younger didn't want to tell her, claiming it'd be a surprise. 

"I am not underdressed right?" Yoonji asks. She is wearing a skirt today, black and casual but only because she wanted to make a good impression on all the strangers she was going to meet tonight. 

"No, you're not." Namjoon answers, although he's dressed particularly nice tonight. He's wearing a button-up shirt, a clear contrast to the usual oversized t-shirts and hoodies he wear to class, and his blue jeans aren't showing signs of being ripped anywhere. 

Namjoon stops in front of a door and Yoonji stops behind him. He turns to her, eyes looking full of fear. "Noona, before we go in, I need you to promise me something." Yoonji is getting worried but she nods at Namjoon, silently telling him he can go on. " First, promise me you won't get mad at me. And second, I need you to promise me that nothing will change between us." 

"Why would things change between us?" Yoonji asks, voice low and shaking. "Namjoon-ah, what is this club?" 

Namjoon fidgets in his spot. "Just promise me." 

"Okay, okay. I promise." 

Namjoon sighs and then he turns back and pulls the door open. He steps inside and Yoonji follows him, and she's hit with.. everything. 

The rainbow flag catches her attention right away and she then looks around to find people chatting in groups with some of them going back and forth between groups. There are tables in the room, with plates of food on display and Yoonji sees the words "LGBT YOUTH" written on a banner on the wall. Yoonji's stomach twists and her throat gets tighter. 

"Namjoon-ah.." She whispers, hoping Namjoon can hear her. She looks around still, and she sees everyone is smiling and being friendly and it's just.. 

She feels Namjoon's fingers around her wrist. "We can go if you want. We'll find another club." 

Yoonji feels tears well up in her eyes. She spots a girl and a boy chatting and the boy has a bright glittery eyeshadow with pink hair and he looks so.. happy. The girl he's chatting with is wearing a bright colored outfit and her hair is full of highlights. A girl approaches them and Yoonji doesn't miss the moment the two girls share a soft and simple kiss. 

"No, it's fine. We can stay." Yoonji nods and dries her eyes. "We can stay." 

Namjoon takes her hand and guides her forward. 

Yoonji loves it. She thinks she's never belonged anywhere more than here. Everyone is so friendly and welcoming and warm, and after thirty minutes, she's met more people tonight than in her two months of being a university student. She meets a boy, Jung Hoseok, who identifies as asexual, and he explains it all to her in a gentle tone and by the end of his explanation, she wants to protect him forever. She also meets Shin Ryujin and Hwang Yeji, the two girls she spotted earlier, who are girlfriends and have been together for two years. Yoonji is impressed and slightly envious honestly. The two girls look very happy and Yoonji wonders when it's going to be her turn. She then meets Taeyeon, who she realizes is a music major like her - and also likes girls, and that they share most of their classes together. Taeyeon is very bright and definitely an extrovert and after ten minutes of meeting, the two already have exchanged Kakao ID and social medias. She checks in with Namjoon at some point and the younger boy is smiling from ear to ear, as he meets people on his own too. 

By the end of the night, Yoonji and Namjoon have official registered in the LGBT Youth club and have already made plans with the people they've met to hang out soon. Namjoon and her leave campus and Yoonji feels elated. She's talking Namjoon's ears off but he doesn't seem to mind, even talks louder and the two of them go to share ice cream by the same convenience store as the night they met, sitting on the same curb. 

"I just.." She breathes out, holding her ice cream cone close to her. The night is colder than usual, a sign that autumn is truly here. "I just never thought this many people could.. could be.." 

"Like you?" Namjoon finishes her thought.

She nods, feeling shy. "Yeah." She turns to him. "By the way, why did you take me here in the first place?" It's not exactly what she wants to ask. How did you know? 

Namjoon shrugs. "I don't know. I just thought you'd enjoy it." She deadpans him, prompting him to give the real explanation. "Okay, okay, I just.. I could tell, alright? I knew you were part of the community." 

"How?" Yoonji questions because if anything, before tonight she never thought there was a community to begin with. 

Namjoon shrugs again. "Call it my gaydar." He smirks playfully and Yoonji nudges his shoulders. 

She finds it funny, how Namjoon could tell within days of knowing her, while Jimin has known her basically her whole life and yet. She shakes her head, pushing away the thoughts of her best friends. Lately, they've only brought her sorrow. Instead, she takes a bite of her ice cream. "How did you know you liked boys? As in, only boys?" 

Namjoon purses his lips. "I kissed a girl when I was in middle school. Well, she kissed me actually.  Or tried to. " Namjoon shakes his head, shivering. "We were walking towards our class, and it was just a normal day. Then suddenly, she turns to me, grabs my shoulders and starts leaning in. Her lips were all puckered and pouty and I had watched enough movies to know what she was about to do." 

"What did you do?" Yoonji asks, curious. 

"I sort of ducked under her arms and left before she could truly kiss me. But I did feel her lips on mine, and it was the worst thing ever." 

Yoonji chuckles as Namjoon grimaces. "Who was your first real kiss then?" 

Namjoon blushes as he looks down at his feet. "This boy back in my hometown. Kim Seokjin. He's your age. He lives next door to my parents' house and I think I've liked him even before I knew I liked boys. He's just .. he's just it. And one time, after school, I was playing with him and his brother at the basketball court and after his brother left, we stayed back a little. I don't know but one minute we were shooting hoops and the next , we were kissing." 

Yoonji nods at him, impressed. "Well, Kim Namjoon, you are a real hit." 

Namjoon smiles sheepishly and shakes his head. He eats a little bit of ice cream before he asks. "And you? Who was your first kiss? Was it your friend Jimin?” 

Yoonji stops herself mid-ice cream bite. She freezes, processing Namjoon's words and shakes her head. "I.. I haven't had my first kiss yet." 

Namjoon stays silent by her side. Yoonji spins her ice cream cone in her hand, watching as the frozen food melts slowly. How embarrassing this is. She's eighteen years old, turning nineteen next year, she's a freshmen at university and she still hasn't had her first kiss. 

"Well. That's okay." Namjoon speaks up after a moment. "Kisses are overrated anyway." 

Yoonji smiles and places her head on his shoulder. He doesn't have to say that, but he did. "Thank you." 

Namjoon places his head on top of Yoonji's, and they both stay like this until their ice cream cones are done and their hands have gone numb. They go back to their respective dorms with the promise of seeing each other tomorrow. Yoonji falls asleep that night with her heart full and light, forgetting all the worries in her world. 

She's reminded of them in the morning when she checks her phone to find messages from Jimin. 

jimin <3 : hey

jimin <3 : sorry, i am only reaching out to you now 

jimin <3 : i miss you

jimin <3 : can we talk? 

Yoonji stares at the words on the screen, feeling the tears well up in her eyes. It hits her now that she has missed Jimin too. A lot. She hasn't shown it really, decided that she should get some work done but .. she's missed her best friend. 

yoonji : let's meet for dinner tonight 

Jimin's answer comes shortly. 

jimin <3 : yes please

yoonji : let's have ramyeon 

jimin <3 : great! you can come to my dorm! my roommate is away tonight.

yoonji : okay! 

Yoonji lets her phone drop on her chest, thinking about tonight. Two weeks. Two weeks since they've seen each other. It'll be the longest time she's ever gone without seeing her best friend or talking to her. It may not seem like a long time for some, but when you're used to talking to someone every day, it surely creates a habit and once that habit is broken.. 

She gets a text from Taeyeon as she finishes putting on her shoes. 

Kim Taeyeon ( Lgbt club) : Hi Yoonji-ssi! It was really great meeting you last night! Today, let's sit next to each other in class okay? Haha, see you!

Yoonji smiles and types back a reply. She first types in aegyo, then cringes at herself and deletes the text but then she remembers that Taeyon had laughed last night when she acted cute so she typed the message again in aegyo. 

Yoonji : Thank you Taeyeon-ssi! Can't wait to sit next to my new friend haha, see you soon! 

Yoonji smiles before she grabs her bag and leaves her dorm room to head to class. 

The day goes by slowly but surely enough, Yoonji ends her day feeling happy and light. She has lunch with Taeyeon and Namjoon, and most of her classes go well. She's a little antsy about this song assignment she had to hand out but she tells herself she can worry about it later. 

She makes her way to Jimin's dorm by 7pm. She even brought some chocolates and a jar of kimchi that her mom had sent her soon after she arrived. She knows how much Jimin loves her kimchi in her ramyeon. She texts Jimin once she's in front of the dorm building. Technically, outside students aren't allowed to stay after 8 pm in the students' dorm of Jimin's school so maybe that's why Jimin appears in a black hoodie and black leggings, looking around. She opens the door for Yoonji and hurries her inside. 

"Hey." Yoonji greets her, a little amused. 

"Come in, quick!" Jimin pulls her inside, looking outside before she closes the door. 

Yoonji laughs a little. "Damn, I missed you too, but chill." 

Jimin turns to her and stares at her for a minute. It's strange, long. The way Jimin looks at her. It's been two weeks after all. Two weeks without seeing and talking to each other. It's a long time for them. Jimin breathes in before she steps closer and wraps her arms around Yoonji's frame, burying her head into Yoonji's neck. Yoonji is a little taken aback, and freezes when she feels Jimin tightening her grip around her. 

"I am so sorry." Jimin says against her neck. 

Yoonji feels her breath catch in her throat. "It's okay. Don't worry about it." 

Jimin pulls away with wet eyes but no tear falls thankfully. She lets her hand fall to Yoonji's and gives it a little squeeze. "Thank you for coming tonight. I wasn't sure you'd want to talk to me." 

Yoonji clicks her tongue. "Hey, we're best friends, right? That happens." Jimin nods, though she looks a little saddened still, looking down. Yoonji nudges her hand. "Won't you take me to your room?" 

Jimin looks at her, her eyes different than Yoonji has ever seen them. They're darker somehow. "Ha Yoonji-ssi. Don't put ideas in my head." 

Yoonji freezes in her spot. She wasn't expecting that from Jimin. She could have said anything. Anything but this. This doesn't sound .. innocent. 

Jimin gives her a smile. "Come on. I can't wait for you to see my room." 

Yoonji follows her upstairs, willing her brain to forget about what just happened. Jimin doesn't like her like that, and never will. Yoonji has made peace with it. But still, her heart flutters as Jimin leads her upstairs, her hand clasped with Yoonji's. 

Jimin's dorm room is definitely a lot different than hers. She clearly sees Jimin's side and her roommate's. Jimin's side is clean and tidy while the other side has things scattered and unorganized. Jimin takes out the small kettle she brought from home and starts getting the water ready for their ramyeon. The two girls settle on the floor to eat as there aren't enough room on the desk. As Jimin gets the ramyeon cups ready, Yoonji opens the jar of kimchi. Jimin praises her for opening all by herself. Yoonji jokes that she's as strong as a man, and Jimin laughs. They eat while talking comfortably, catching up on the last two weeks. Jimin tells Yoonji that she is starting rehearsals to be a dancer in the corps for the next ballet season soon. Yoonji tells her about Namjoon and the new people she's met recently. She doesn't tell Jimin about the LGBT youth club. She's not sure why, but for now, she just wants to keep it to herself. She thinks back on Namjoon's words before they had stepped in. Promise me that nothing will change between us. Namjoon had been scared to bring Yoonji in this part of his life, even though he somehow knew she was part of the community, and now she thinks she can see why. It's daunting, terrifying. So Yoonji keeps it to herself and tells herself that she'll tell Jimin at the right time. 

Once the two girls are done, they settle on Jimin's bed with Jimin's laptop between them to watch a movie. Yoonji has her eyes trained on the screen but she can feel Jimin looking at her from time to time. Still, she keeps her eyes on the screen. Except when she sees the main female character and male character share a kiss. She can't help but roll her eyes and make a little grimace. Jimin catches it. 

"Why are you making a face?" She asks. 

Yoongi scrunches her nose. "It's just.. she barely knows him. They met like a month ago. She surely can't be in love with." 

Jimin chuckles a little. "So you can only kiss people you're in love with?" 

Yoonji thinks about it. She thinks about the conversation she had with Jung Hoseok last night about asexuality and the broad spectrum it represents. She thinks about him telling her that he doesn't like kissing at all, even though he's fallen in love with people before. She thinks about him explaining to her what aromantic means, what demisexuality is. She shakes her head in answer to Jimin. "No, of course. But personally, I can't see myself kissing someone I am not in love with." 

Jimin hums. "That does make sense." 

On the screen, the two characters are having the typical "the morning after" scene. Yoonji cringes a little when she sees the female character giving the man heart eyes and sweet smiles. She could never do that. No man has ever given her that feeling and she's highly sure no man ever will. Still, she wonders if she's ever going to have someone who will give her that feeling and have it be reciprocated. Once upon a time, she had hoped it could be Jimin but that had died quickly enough. She has made peace with the fact that she has to move on from that crush, from those feelings. Plus, now she's in the LBGT youth club, so she might meet someone there. 

Jimin yawns a little audibly. Yoonji looks up at her. "Are you tired?"

Jimin nods a little. "Yeah, I haven't slept really well lately." 

"Are your classes stressing you?" Yoonji asks. "Is it hard for you?" Yoonji knows Jimin has always been a good dancer, but here, everyone is a good dancer so maybe she's feeling a little stressed. 

“Kind of.." Jimin sighs. "People are different here." 

"What do you mean?" 

Jimin shrugs. "Mean. Everyone is competitive. I understand that we could all get cut if we're not good enough but the girls here are just.. awful with each other." 

"Minnie.." Yoonji reaches for Jimin's hand. "Has someone been mean to you?" Jimin's silence is answer enough. Yoonji hates that she didn't know. She hates that someone has been mean to Jimin and that she's not here anymore to protect her. "Do you want me to beat them up?" 

Jimin smiles and chuckles a little before she shakes her head. "It's fine, I'll get over it." 

Yoonji hates that Jimin is the one who has to do something. "Can't you tell the school? If it gets too much-" 

"I'll be fine, okay?" Jimin squeezes Yoonji's hand. "Plus, I can always come to you if need be, right?" 

Yoonji doesn't think before she nods. "Of course, I am always going to be here." 

Jimin offers her a small smile before she goes back to watch the movie. Yoonji does too although she has no idea what's happening anymore. They keep watching until the end, and on screen, the two main characters get married, obviously, which makes Yoonji grimace again. 

"What now?" Jimin laughs. 

"I just don't get it." Yoonji says. "She's really going to be with a guy she met a month ago and settle for him when she could meet someone who is better for her? And she won't ever know because now she's married to this guy!" 

Jimin chuckles, sitting up to close her laptop. "I think settling for him is a little harsh though. He's nice, he cares for her. Sometimes, that's all you need." 

Yoonji lies down on the bed. "I don't know. I think people should want more. Books talk about that spark, that flame you should be looking for in someone, but this movie just tells us that you can settle for less. No." She shakes her head to further her point. "Plus, dating and marrying the first guy you kissed, slept with, just feels off to me." 

If she were truly honest, she'd say dating and marrying a guy, period, feels off to her but she keeps that to herself. 

"I get it." Jimin as she dims her wall light. The atmosphere gets a bit more comfortable, a bit cosier and when Jimin settles back in bed beside her, Yoonji feels like she is back home and they're having a typical sleepover at Jimin's childhood house. The sense of familiarity is welcome and Yoonji embraces it deeply as she lets Jimin scoots closer in the bed. "But still, sometimes you don't have the luxury to wait for the person who gave you that spark or that flame, you know. Sometimes, a little attention is enough." 

Yoonji turns to her. "Really? You could settle for someone you just like, not love?" 

Jimin sighs. "It's more complicated than that." 

Yoonji clicks her tongue. "I know but.. I couldn't do that. It's only my opinion but it'd feel strange to only know one person, to only have kissed one person, or slept with one person my entire life." 

Jimin chuckles a little. "Well, excuse us miss I-have-kissed-no-one-in-my-life-so-far." 

Yoonji feels her teasing tone so she taps Jimin's shoulder lightly and the other girl chuckles even more. "Shut up! Can't everyone stop talking about me not having a first kiss? It's already embarrassing as it is!" 

The room is filled with the girl's giggles. "You mean you haven't found anyone to kiss at university? Are all the boys there ugly or something?" 

Yoonji shrugs while groaning. "They're okay, I guess." For good measure, she flips her hair back. "But no one deserves me so." 

Jimin giggles even more and Yoonji looks at her as she does. Jimin's face lights up and her cheeks are a little flushed but they're puffed out and her eyes are all crinkled up and Yoonji can't help but stare a little longer. 

"Don't worry," Jimin says as she catches her breath, "we'll find you someone worthy." 

Yoonji makes a noise. "Ha! I don't want anyone!" She pulls the duvet over Jimin's frame and tucks her in a little. "Okay, now let's sleep, it's already late!" 

"Yes, mother!" Jimin teases but she lets herself be tucked in, and Yoonji then pulls the rest of the duvet over herself. They stay quiet and Yoonji closes her eyes, trying to calm her heartbeat after laughing so much. She can feel Jimin's hands resting next to hers in-between them but doesn't move to hold them. It's been so long since they've been this close, and somehow, it feels like no time has passed either. It's quiet for a moment, so long that Yoonji almost feels like Jimin has fallen asleep but then, Jimin speaks up again. "Yoonji-ah." 

"Hum?" 

"What did you mean when you said that everyone was talking about your first kiss?" 

Yoonji purses her lips, opening her eyes again. Gosh, she knew she shouldn't have said anything. Now, Jimin probably thinks she's lame too. "I didn't mean everyone everyone. It's only Namjoon really." She thinks about Namjoon's sweet reaction when she told him she hadn't kissed anyone yet. He truly is a great friend. 

"Do you like him?" 

"What, Namjoon? Ew!" Yoonji grimaces and shakes her head, horrified by the thought. Even though she knows there's no way Namjoon and her would ever see each other in that way, it still makes her cringe. "He's like, my little brother. He's literally a kid."

"It's just.. I don't know, never mind." Jimin's fingers tap the duvet, quiet thuds on the soft material. Yoonji stares at them. She has held Jimin's hands so many times in her life, she knows she could reach and hold them right now. But somehow, the air is different. Heavier. Thicker. "Who do you want your first kiss to be?" 

Yoonji looks up at Jimin's question. "What do you mean?" They're whispering now, and the only way she can hear Jimin is because they're so close. 

"Well, if you could pick someone to give you your first kiss, who would it be?" Jimin explains. 

Yoonji thinks about it. Back in high school, she had thought long and hard about it. From the moment she knew she loved Jimin, she had wondered about what it would be like to kiss Jimin. What her lips would feel like, would they be soft? Would they hurt her? Would they feel weird against hers? But she knows it'll never happen. So she shrugs lightly. "I don't know. I guess.."  You, her heart wants to say. But she knows she can't. "The person I love with all my heart, the one that's most important to me." 

She can see Jimin's eyes although the room is dark and she can see a tear fall on her best friend's nose. She isn't sure why Jimin is crying, but she hates it. She hates the way she can feel that something is different with Jimin but she can't tell what it is exactly. Trying to lighten the mood, she speaks up again. "But well, then I should just kiss you." 

Jimin's eyes shift and her lips fall open in a short quiet gasp. Yoonji feels the shiver that runs on Jimin's body since they're so close. Another tear escapes Jimin's eyes and Yoongi can't help it this time. She moves her hand and gently wipes Jimin's face. She hates to see her best friend cry, always has, but this is strange, this is different than all the other time. She gently rubs her knuckles over Jimin's cheek, trying to soothe her. She doesn't know what to say so she says nothing but hopes this is enough. 

Jimin looks at her while she does it, unmoving. Yoonji is about to tell her that she should really get some rest but then Jimin moves towards her. The low press of Jimin's lips on hers is short lived and Yoonji is frozen as Jimin pulls away. Yoonji isn't sure she's still breathing. Jimin looks up at her and Yoonji has so many questions, but she might as well be brainless. 

"Here's your first kiss." Jimin whispers and her lips are still right there, so close. Yoonji would only have to lean in slightly. A couple of inches. She can feel Jimin's breath on her own. But Jimin shifts until her back faces Yoonji's. She pulls Yoonji's arms around her and keeps her hand in hers. Yoonji is still speechless and lets Jimin do what she wants. She feels little tugs on her fingertips but she is growing numb with second. She barely realizes when tears fall from her own eyes. 

When Yoonji wakes up, she doesn't need to open her eyes to know the bed is empty. The spot under her hand is cold, meaning that Jimin must have woken up a while ago. She stirs a little before she opens her eyes. She notices Jimin immediately. The other girl is on the floor, her legs extended in a perfect side split. Yoonji watches how Jimin moves her body carefully but with so much elegance. She's just in sweatpants and a tank top yet she exudes so much delicacy, Yoonji feels like she's watching a professional ballerina. Jimin raises her arms above her head, keeping her eyes closed still. She looks like a fairy, Yoonji thinks, or like a princess. Jimin isn't wearing any makeup, Yoonji can tell, but the dancer looks mesmerizing right now. Jimin exhales slowly, and opens her eyes. She finds Yoonji's eyes immediately and offers her a smile. "Hey, you. Did you sleep well?" 

Yoonji rubs the sleep from her eyes and nods. "Like a baby." She can't remember the last time she slept so peacefully. When her fingers pass over her mouth, she remembers that Jimin kissed her last night. The soft pressure of her lips on hers, so brief, fleeting. Yoonji could have forgotten. In the simple and soft moments between waking up and reality, she had almost forgotten that Jimin had given her her first kiss. Her heartbeat quickens in her chest. Should she mention it? Did Jimin mean anything by it? Maybe it was just a kiss, after all. Kisses don't have to mean anything ..right?

Jimin chuckles and stands up. She raises her hands above her head again in a big shoulder stretch and when Yoonji looks at her, she catches a bit of Jimin's bare belly. Jimin has always had a small waist, thanks to her training since she was really young, but like this, looking so smooth and soft and-

Yoonji shakes her head, looking away. 

"We should go down and get breakfast." Jimin says once she's put her arms down. She grabs Yoonji's hoodie from last night and puts it on. Yoonji doesn't move, looking at Jimin in her clothes.  Jimin has always been a little bit smaller than her and Yoonji has always liked her hoodies oversized so it looks bigger on Jimin. "Yoonji-ah?" 

Yoonji brings her gaze back up to Jimin's face who's looking at her curiously. "Hm?" 

"Get your ass up already! I am hungry!" Jimin says, nudging Yoonji's leg. 

Yoonji groans and only curls herself into a ball. "I don't want to get up. I don't have classes this early." She muffles into the duvet. 

"Yoonji-ah, get up!" Jimin whines. Yoonji whines back a shrieking no. She feels Jimin pulling on her leg. Yoonji kicks her leg back to push Jimin away, hiding herself under the duvet. "Come on, we might even find you some hot dancer to date!" Jimin adds, giggling. 

Yoonji makes a grimace, thankful that the duvet is hiding her face. "I'd rather die." She says flatly and she hears Jimin sigh. 

"Alright then, but please get up now." 

She groans and sighs but Yoonji does end up getting off the bed. She puts on some pants and a shirt that Jimin hands her. She tries to fix her hair but she ends up making it more of a mess. Jimin reaches for her. "Here, let me." 

The dancer pulls Yoonji's upwards gently and starts twisting it. She then grabs a hair clip and wraps the messy half bun-half ponytail in it. Gently, she then pulls a few strands of hair around Yoonji's face and twirls them around her fingers. Yoonji stays still the whole time, feeling very much like a doll, but also.. loved somehow. Jimin's hands are quick and efficient like she's done this a million times and Yoonji kinda wants to ask Jimin to do her hair every day. "There you go." Jimin says once she's done. She looks at Yoonji's hair, examining it before she nods to herself. "Yup, you're all good." 

She then locks eyes with Yoonji and brings her index to Yoonji's nose. "Now we can go to have breakfast." 

She grabs Yoonji's hand and leads her out of her dorm room, unaware of the fast beat of Yoonji's heart. 

Breakfast at a dance school is a little different than university but Yoonji likes it all the same. Jimin and her share a nice breakfast and light conversations. Neither of them talk about what happened last night and Yoonji is too afraid to bring it up. Jimin looks far too happy and relaxed and Yoonji doesn't want to break that bubble. After breakfast, Jimin walks Yoonji back to the bus stop and the two girls hug before they part with the promise to see each other soon. Yoonji waves at Jimin until the bus turns the corner and she can't see her best friend anymore. Yoonji settles back in the bus seat and she sighs. It finally feels as if her world is back to normal. 

Yoonji gets busy over the next few weeks. She has a lot of assignments and classes and mid-terms to take. Jimin and her manage to see each other for dinner on Jimin's birthday at a nice street restaurant but other than that, they mostly text or call each other at times where they're not busy. It gets hard though as Yoonji gets more involved and starts making friends with the people in her classes and the LGBT youth club. She hangs out with Taeyeon a lot and the two girls find themselves getting along really well. Yoonji even enrolls Taeyeon to help her in one of her music assignment. As it turns out, Taeyeon has a lovely voice and Yoonji is fascinated by it. Taeyeon sings with so much emotion, she makes Yoonji's words come alive. 

They're in Taeyeon's apartment one mid November night, sitting on the floor with their backs against the couch. Taeyeon is lucky to live off campus, Yoonji thinks. They're sharing beer after finishing eating. They were supposed to finish recording Yoonji's song for her assignment due next week but Yoonji likes this better. Things are easy with Taeyeon. Maybe it's the fact that they met at a place where they didn't have to hide or pretend to be anything they weren't. The LGBT youth club surely knows how to accept people and Taeyeon has been a bit of a guide for Yoonji in terms of navigating the space. Yoonji is very thankful for that. 

Taeyeon flicks her hair off of her shoulders and takes a sip of the beer bottle, leaning her head back. Yoonji watches her, a little transfixed. "You're very pretty.." She lets out. She's a little tipsy, she knows, but the words are true. 

Taeyeon turns to her, smiling. "Thank you, you're very pretty too." 

Yoonji scoffs, looking away. "You don't have to say that." 

Taeyeon scoots closer to her. "What! But it's true!” With one hand, she turns Yoonji's head towards her. Yoonji finds Taeyeon looking at her with gleaming eyes and a giddy smile. "You are very pretty, Min Yoonji." 

The air in Yoonji's throat gets caught a little. Taeyeon's hand doesn't move away from her face and Yoonji likes how warm it is. She likes how warm Taeyeon is in general. She likes spending time with Taeyeon altogether but right now, something feels different. Yoonji's eyes flicker to Taeyeon's lips for a brief moment, wondering how they would taste. It's not the first time Yoonji has wondered about it. Once Taeyeon and her had developed their friendship, Yoonji had been wondering a lot. Taeyeon is a bit of a flirt too, hasn't stopped complimenting Yoonji from the day they met. She hasn't made an actual move so Yoonji hadn't made one either. But now.. they're so close and Yoonji just .. wonders. 

"Taeyeon-ssi.." Yoonji whispers. 

Taeyeon smiles at her, pushing the strands near Yoonji's face behind her ear. "I told you you can call me Eonnie." 

Yoonji's body shudders when Taeyeon's hand move to play with the hair falling on her shoulders. Taeyeon is still smiling, wrapping small strands around her finger while Yoonji is barely breathing. Taeyeon looks up at her curiously and that's all the incentive Yoonji needs. She closes the gap between her and Taeyeon, pressing her lips against the older’s. She pulls away almost immediately. Taeyeon's eyes have widened and Yoonji is about to confuse herself in apologies when Taeyeon pulls her closer by her neck, pushing their lips together. 

It's surely different than her kiss with Jimin. If Yoonji could call it that. Jimin had kissed her so briefly that Yoonji had barely had time to register the whole thing. Taeyeon kisses her and keeps her there. She moves her lips against Yoonji's in a way that is secure, her hands on the back of Yoonji's neck. Yoonji is no expert but this might be the best kiss she's ever had. Taeyeon is gentle, delicate. When she pulls away for air, Yoonji is rightfully panting and Taeyeon smiles at her. She brushes her thumb against Yoonji's lips slowly. 

"I've wanted to kiss you for so long." Taeyeon whispers. 

"Why didn't you?" Yoonji doesn't know how words are coming to her right now. 

"I wanted to wait the right time." Taeyeon says, a little flustered. Her faint blush tints her cheeks. "I really like you, Yoonji-ah." 

Yoonji's heart skips a beat in her chest. No one.. no one has liked her like that before. It awakens a mountains of feelings in her stomach and she feels a nest of butterflies erupting and being set free. Her brain feels like it's spinning and she knows it's not the alcohol anymore; still, she speaks. "I like you too." 

Taeyeon's grin grows and with her thumb, she pulls Yoonji's bottom lip down, opening her mouth wider. Taeyeon slips her tongue inside and a moan leaves Yoonji's chest. Taeyeon's other hand moves to her waist, bringing her closer. Yoonji's own hands start moving on their own, finding a place in Taeyeon's hair and on the side of her waist. The kisses grow longer and more languid, and each time they have to pull apart, Yoonji has to actively stop herself from pulling Taeyeon closer. Taeyeon kisses her so well, knows how to move her tongue around Yoonji's in a way it makes the air in Yoonji's lungs feel short. At some point, Taeyeon's mouth moves from Yoonji's lips to her jaw, her neck, until she settles in a nice spot between her shoulder and collarbones. Yoonji moans as Taeyeon sucks and licks and bites at the skin there. Yoonji has never heard herself like that but she barely cares. Her whole body feels things she's never felt before and it feels fucking amazing. 

Yoonji feels one of Taeyeon's hand grabbing her breast over her shirt and she gasp when she feels it. Taeyeon leaves her neck and looks at her, looking for her eyes. "Are you alright? We can stop if you want." 

If Yoonji's whole body could scream in protest, it would. Yoonji shakes her head vigorously. "Please don't. Please, just, kiss me." She brings Taeyeon with her hands so they can share another kiss again and then, Yoonji grabs one of Taeyeon's hand and brings it back to her breast. Taeyeon grins in Yoonji's mouth and gives Yoonji's chest a squeeze. Yoonji gasps audibly and Taeyeon kisses the side of her mouth before she resumes her descent to Yoonji's neck. There's a sensation building between Yoonji's legs the longer Taeyeon gives attention to her neck and breasts and despite how she thrusts her chest onto Taeyeon's hand, she wants more, she needs more. 

"Taeyeon, Taeyeon, I, I need.." She's panting, barely able to form a full sentence. She looks down and sees that Taeyeon has now moved to rest between her breasts, and Yoonji thinks she sees God. 

"Tell me what you want." Taeyeon tells her with fully blown eyes. 

"You." Yoonji answers in an instant. "I want you." Her body feels hot when Taeyeon grabs her hand to pull her up.

With quick efficiency, Taeyeon brings her to her bedroom. Yoonji doesn't have time to look at the room, she has other more important matters at hand. Yoonji licks her lips when Taeyeon pulls her closer. She doesn't move to kiss her, just looks at her with incredible fondness and affection. "Are you sure?" 

Yoonji waits a few seconds but she nods. "I trust you." And she does. She trusts Taeyeon and for this, what they're about to do, Yoonji trusts her more than anyone else. 

Taeyeon wraps her hand at the back of Yoonji's neck, moving closer. Her lips hover Yoonji's, but they don't touch. "Let me know if you don't like something, okay?" Taeyeon's breathing is hot on her face and Yoonji is about to explode. 

Yoongi manages a nod. "Okay." 

Still so close, Taeyeon moves to remove Yoonji's shirt. Yoonji feels a little cold at the sudden change of temperature, but Taeyeon's hands are immediately on her, wandering gently and raising the fire inside of Yoonji. Taeyeon's hands finds Yoonji's chest and Yoonji's eyes fall shut when thumbs brush over her nipples. 

"Can I take it off?" Taeyeon asks, ever so gently. 

Yoongi nods with her eyes shut. 

Taeyeon is kind as she moves closer to Yoonji, embracing her from the front to reach for the clasps of her bra in her back. Their bodies are fully touching now, and Yoonji is sure she's seconds away from bursting into flames. She feels Taeyeon's lips on her shoulders as her fingers move idly. At one point, Taeyeon even starts slowly moving her upper chest up and down, giving some friction to Yoonji's breasts. She has a plea on the tip of her tongue but then she finally feels her bra coming off and release finally comes to her. Taeyeon lets the bra fall to the floor and Yoonji has to open her eyes to look. Taeyeon is looking at her chest with what Yoonji now recognizes as lust in her eyes. She takes a deep breath, about to speak but then Taeyeon leans downwards and puts her tongue on one of Yoonji's breasts. Yoonji gasps loudly, not expecting it, and her body jerks back a little but Taeyeon puts her hands on her waist, keeping her in place. Taeyeon's tongue flicks repeatedly over Yoonji's nipple while one hand starts massaging the other breast. Yoonji has her head thrown back and she thinks she's seeing stars. She barely realizes when Taeyeon moves to lie her down, only lets herself fall backwards on the soft mattress. When she looks down briefly, she sees Taeyeon looking up at her, eyes big and wide and dark. Yoonji feels the same sensation between her legs becoming stronger, more intense and when Taeyeon goes back to licking her nipples, it only grows worse. 

With one of Taeyeon's knee in between her legs, and because she's moving so much on the bed, moaning and panting, she barely realizes when she starts grinding herself on Taeyeon's legs. She only realizes when she feels once of Taeyeon's hands moving around the waistband of her jeans. Yoonji looks down as Taeyeon undoes the button and zipper. She watches as Taeyeon's hand goes past the waistband and disappear between her legs, finding where she needs her the most. Yoonji exhales a long sigh when Taeyeon's fingers touches her core. Taeyeon, who is still licking her breast like it’s her long life mission, chuckles when she reaches Yoonji's pussy. She looks up at Yoonji with a little smirk. "If you could feel how wet you are right now.." She whispers against the valley of Yoonji's chest. 

Yoonji moans when she feels two of Taeyeon's fingers circling her clit. She wraps her fists in the sheets, her hips bucking upwards searching for more. Taeyeon does it slowly, she starts dipping her middle finger past Yoonji's clit and lower. She starts slow but then she reaches Yoonji's entrance and Yoonji moans when she feels the finger going past it. It's small and not enough to hurt and Taeyeon doesn't move it at the beginning. When she does, she does it gently and with care, so much that Yoonji barely feels any sting. It feels nice and when Taeyeon curve the end of her finger inside Yoonji, she moans louder than she had before. 

"Taeyeon, more, please, more, more.." 

"Are you sure?" Taeyeon asks and Yoonji nods, hips moving rapidly. 

Taeyeon pulls her middle finger and it's strange how empty Yoonji feels from a simple thing. But then she feels Taeyeon push two fingers past her entrance and oh. Oh, that hurts. It's small at first but it's like trying to push a key where it doesn't fit. She feels Taeyeon kiss her cheek sweetly as Yoonji whimpers. "Relax." She keeps dropping kisses on Yoonji's jaw and cheek and neck all the while pushing two fingers Yoonji. Yoonji does follow her advice and tries to relax, and soon enough, she feels herself enjoying the slight pressure of the fingers against her walls. 

With a shaky voice, she speaks. "You can move them now." 

"Yeah?" 

Yoonji nods positively. Taeyeon starts moving her fingers indeed, and Yoonji frowns as it feels a little weird, but it also feels good somehow. After a moment, the pain disappears and only pleasure is there for her to enjoy. Her whimpers are replaced by moans while Taeyeon finds her mouth and kisses her fully. Yoonji returns the kiss to the best of her capacities but her mind is gone. There's something building in her stomach and it only takes a few more of Taeyeon's finger thrusting into her for Yoonji to gasp into Taeyeon's mouth. The older girl grins when she sees it happening and Yoonji realizes that she's just cummed for the first time. The sensation is strange, as if every nerve in her body has been undone and her entire being is finally at peace. She looks into Taeyeon's eyes and finds the older girl looking at her with glee. Taeyeon takes her fingers out of Yoonji and it feels even weirder. When Taeyeon pulls her fingers up, Yoonji stares at them a little. They're coated in a sticky liquid, though it doesn't look that liquid. Then, Taeyeon does the craziest thing Yoonji has ever seen. 

Taeyeon brings her fingers to her mouth and licks them clean. Yoonji's mouth falls open. This is the hottest thing she's ever seen. Taeyeon licks her lips as she's done, and smiles. "You taste delicious." 

She isn't sure what prompts her to do so, but Yoonji pulls Taeyeon closer into a hard kiss, sweeping her tongue inside Taeyeon's mouth for remains of her cum. Taeyeon eagerly kisses her, moving to be on top of her again. The two keep kissing until Taeyeon pulls away to remove her own top and bra. Yoonji stares a little when she sees the two breasts staring back at her. It's like a pull and she can't help but reach up and wrap her mouth around one small bud. Taeyeon moans as Yoonji kisses her breast, hoping she's bringing as much pleasure to Taeyeon as she did to Yoonji. This is her first time doing this so she's not sure what she's truly supposed to do. She looks up at Taeyeon who has her face scrunched up and a small line between her eyebrows. Yoonji grows nervous. 

"Is that alright?" Yoonji asks. He lips feel sore, a little numb but when Taeyeon looks at her and after a few quiet seconds, Taeyeon taps Yoonji's shoulders, bringing her up. The kiss they share this time is sweet and gentle, slower. 

"We can stop here if you want." Taeyeon whispers against Yoonji's mouth. She presses a gentle kiss to Yoonji's cheek. "You don't have to do anything you're not ready for." 

Yoonji wants to smile. She knows it's fast, and part of her wants to just stay like this and just kiss Taeyeon until all the air in her lungs is gone, but she also wants to know. She wants to see if she can do what Taeyeon did to her. "Can you teach me how?" 

Taeyeon's features show confusion for a brief second before a smile takes place on her lips. The kiss Yoonji captures next is full of promises. 

"It's like different, in a way?" Yoonji explains. "I mean, it's just.. I just know it'd be different than with a guy, you know?" 

As usual, she's sharing a snack with Namjoon while sitting on the pavement in front of the convenience store. This time, due to the colder weather that has settled over Seoul, they're having hot hotteok instead of ice cream. Namjoon, who has been listening to Yoonji's tales of her first time with Taeyeon, nods. "I can't believe you have a girlfriend before I have a boyfriend." 

Yoonji chuckles though she shakes her head. "I can't really say we're girlfriends now." In truth, she's not sure. It's been a few days since they've .. done it, and they've seen each other a few times, shared heated kisses in the privacy of an empty corridor or an empty recording studio at school. But they haven't talked about it in earnest. 

"Well, you should ask her at least." Namjoon says as he finishes his hotter. He looks disappointed by that fact and Yoongi smiles bigger. "I think you two look cute together honestly." 

Yoongi blushes a little. "You think so?" 

Namjoon turns to her, smiling too. He studies her for a long moment before he speaks again. "You look happy. Happier somehow." 

"I do?" Yoonji asks. She understands what Namjoon means. Namjoon nods and Yoonji sighs. "I do feel happier too. I feel.. lighter." She's not sure if this is the right word but it's the one she'll use for now because it's the closest to how she feels. Boundless. Free. 

Namjoon puts his arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer. "And you should be. I feel like you and Taeyeon are good for each other." 

Yoonji smiles and lets her head fall onto Namjoon's shoulder. She's so content in this moment, she wishes she could stay in it forever. 

A few days before the final exams start, Yoonji texts Jimin. 

yoonji : hey! what are you doing on the 19th of December? wanna come to a party ?

jimin <3 : min yoonji asking me for a party? oh my god, is this real??

yoonji : ha ha ha, no seriously, are you free? you can crash at my dorm if you want

jimin <3 : haha just teasing! sure i'll come! 

yoonji : amazing! do you have exams this week? 

jimin <3 : no, not really, exams are all year-round for us, so we're always on our top game. so far i'm passing all of them

jimin <3 : but yours are coming up right? 

yoonji : my little ballerina <3 ! can't wait for you to be a soloist at the national company! 

yoonji : yup, but it'll be fine, i am the best hehe 

jimin <3 : that you are! 

jimin <3 : i am sure you'll do well! and i can't wait to see you! it's been too long! 

yoonji : it truly has :( 

yoonji : i have so many things to tell you! 

jimin <3 : me too

jimin <3 : there's something i have been meaning to tell you for a very long time! 

yoonji : oh? what is it? 

jimin <3 : i'll tell you in person! 

Yoonji frowns a little at the text message. She wonders what Jimin has to tell her. Could she have found a new boyfriend at her dance school? Yoonji remembers briefly meeting Jimin's dance partner when they came down to breakfast so many weeks ago. She can't remember his name but she had caught the look he had given Jimin. Maybe that's what Jimin has to tell her. A little knot settles in her stomach at the thought of Jimin having a boyfriend. After breaking up with Hyungsik, Jimin hadn't dated anyone. Which Yoonji had quietly appreciated but maybe now, she found someone? Yoonji finds the familiar feeling settling inside of her, the same as when Jimin was with Hyungsik. 

She shakes her head and pushes the feeling away. Just a few days ago, she had sex with Taeyon, a girl she really likes and whose company she enjoys immensely. There's no reason for her to be this... uncomfortable at the thought of Jimin being with someone. She's moved on. Yoonji knows there's no point in wishing for a world where Jimin would love her back. She's moved on. Plus, she's with Taeyeon now. There's no more reason for her to be feeling this way. 

Her exams go well and Yoonji is highly sure that she'll pass her first semester with flying colors. She meets up with Taeyeon almost every evening and they even have dinner with Namjoon and Hoseok a couple of times. It's a little embarrassing to see Namjoon so enamored with Hoseok but she can't do anything about it except listen to Namjoon ramble about how he wish he could make a move on Hoseok. The day of the party at the LGBT Youth club, Yoonji is getting ready in Namjoon's dorm room. She's going through his clothes, looking for a jacket she could borrow. She definitely needs to go shopping soon, as in she highly needs new clothes. Taeyeon has seen her in almost all of her clothes by this point - and out of them. Yoonji needs something new. 

"I think I'll kiss Hoseok tonight." Namjoon says from his bed. He's been reading a book on his bed for as long as Yoonji has been here. 

Yoonji turns to him. "You're not kissing anyone, you're not legal. Hoseok is a junior and absolutely oblivious to your feelings for him." She glares a little. Over the past months, she's grown to be more like Namjoon's older sister than his friend, a thing that the two of them will never admit to secretly like. Yoonji never had a younger sibling and Namjoon is an only child. Plus, she likes to care for him. 

Namjoon groans. He drops his book on his chest. "What if I just tell him how I feel then?" 

Yoonji ponders over the idea. "As long as you're sure about it." She takes a green jacket from Namjoon's closet and places it before herself.

Namjoon rolls over and lies on his stomach. "That jacket looks nice on you." 

Yoonji thinks. "I have a skirt that could go with it." 

Namjoon clicks his tongue and laughs. "You're so transparent." 

Yoonji frowns at him. "What?" 

"A skirt, noona? Really?" Namjoon narrows his eyes at her playfully. "I think Taeyeon does know you have great legs." 

Yoonji looks away blushing and puts the jacket back in the small closet. "Oh shut up." She goes through the range of clothes again. "I just want to look good tonight." 

"Why? We've seen those people in worst outfits." 

Yoonji's brain immediately goes to Jimin somehow but she clears her throat and shrugs. "I just want to look good. Can't I want that?" 

"Of course, you can, it's just.. you usually don't." Namjoon says, hesitantly. 

Yoonji knows he's right, she's not necessarily the one to make an effort to dress cool or formally. But tonight, she wants to make an impression. She thinks about Jimin and about how she's about to let her best friend in on a very big part of her life. She wants Jimin to accept this side of her, the side of her that likes girls and is queer but also, she wants Jimin to meet Taeyeon and know she made the right choice. 

What right choice, she's not sure. Maybe she'll know when it's in front of her. 

She meets Jimin at the bus stop and runs to her friend as soon as she steps onto the pavement. The two girls both squeal as they share a tight hug. Yoonji pulls away and frowns. "You've lost weight." 

Jimin rolls her eyes. "Please, don't." She then takes a look at Yoonji's face, checking her up and down. "You look good." 

Yoonji pretends it does nothing to her. "Thank you." She answers with a smile. She's wearing a casual white blouse that she ended up cutting a good few centimeters off so it'd look cropped, paired with an A line denim skirt with her trusty combat boots. She borrowed Namjoon's black denim jacket which swallows her almost completely. Jimin is wearing a short dress, light beige, which flares at the waist. She's wearing the cute sandals she bought with Yoonji before leaving their hometown and the sight warms Yoonji's heart. "You look good too." 

"Thank you." Jimin says with a smile. "So, where's the little party you so badly wanted me to attend?" 

"Right this way." Yoonji links her arm with Jimin and they start walking towards the building. "I can't wait for you to meet Namjoon and the others." 

"Oh yeah? They're your new friends right?" 

Yoonji nods. "You'll love them." And then, because she's feeling playful. "Just don't love them more than you love me."  

Jimin laughs openly in the evening air. "Don't worry about it, there's no one I'll love more than you anyway." 

Yoonji knows she shouldn't let herself be this affected but she also knows what Jimin means by it. So she just smiles and they walk towards the venue. 

The venue is truly just where the club holds meetings and little events but for the occasion, the vast room has been decorated in bright colors and with colorful balloons. The theme seems to be a mix of dark blue and silver as it's the colors which come out the most. Yoonji enters first and immediately spots Namjoon with Hoseok and Taeyeon in a corner. Namjoon waves at her and Yoonji mirrors him. She turns to Jimin, about to ask her if she's ready to meet her friends but the look on Jimin's face stops all the words from coming out of her mouth. Jimin looks in awe of the space and the decorations and the lights of the small disco balls on the ceiling are reflecting on her milky face. There are stars in her eyes and a small bewildered smile at the corner of her lips. She looks beautiful, Yoonji thinks. She hates herself for breaking that but she nudges Jimin a little by the elbow and Jimin turns to her. 

"Hey. Ready to meet my friends?" She gently asks and Jimin nods with a smile. 

The two girls head over to where Namjoon, Hoseok and Taeyeon are. Taeyeon immediately reaches for Yoonji and pecks her gently on the corner of her mouth. Yoonji feels herself blushing at the small gesture and immediately shies away. She clears her throat, trying to make the moment go. "Hum, everyone, meet my best friend from home, Park Jimin. Jimin, this is my friends, Kim Namjoon, Jung Hoseok and Kim Taeyeon." 

It takes Jimin a second too long to answer. "Hi! It's very nice to meet you all!" Her voice is a little strained and her smile looks tight but Yoonji is the only one to notice. 

Namjoon offers Jimin his hand and she shakes it. "I've heard so much about you. Yoonji noona said you’re a dancer." 

Jimin nods and the conversation starts flowing naturally. At one point, Taeyeon leans in and whispers in Yoonji's ear. "So now, we're just friends?" 

Yoonji blushes and looks at the rest of the group. They seem to not have heard, too preoccupied by the conversation. Yoonji turns to Taeyeon a little. "We never really talked about it, so.." She trails off, biting her bottom lip. It's true after all, they've never talked about status and relationship labels but it feels serious. 

Taeyeon leans back a little, looking Yoonji right in the eyes. "Do you want to be my girlfriend, Yoonji?" 

Yoonji's heart quickens his beat and she grins at Taeyeon. She nods vigorously and can't help the grin on her face as Taeyeon kisses her fully. Right now, she feels so wanted and loved. It's amazing. 

"Gyeurk!" Yoonji hears Hoseok exclaims. "Please get a room." 

The two girlfriends part and Taeyeon laughs, turning to Hoseok. "Seokie-ah! Let us be in love!" 

Yoonji notices Namjoon downing his drink as Hoseok scoffs. Jimin clears his throat. "So, hum, how did you guys meet?" She doesn't specify, but Yoonji knows she's solely talking about Taeyeon and her. 

Taeyeon moves to stand behind her, wrapping her arms around Yoongi's waist, keeping her close to her. She places her head on Yoonji's shoulder and Yoonji leans into it. "We met here actually. Namjoon enrolled us into the club." Yoonji explains. 

"God bless Namjoon." Taeyeon says, teasingly. 

"I am doing God's work here." Namjoon replies. Yoonji laughs with him, and Hoseok joins them. 

"And you, Jimin?" Taeyeon asks. "How did you meet Yoonji?" 

"When she moved in the house next to ours, back in Busan. We were ten years old, I think? " Jimin answers swiftly. "The rest is history." Yoonji smiles at the memory. They really had been best friends from the first day they met. 

"Wow." Taeyeon says, sounding admirative. "You've been friends for so long." 

"And our Yoonji noona is your best friend?" Namjoon adds on. "With how weird she can be?” 

"Yah!" Yoonji tells him off, but Namjoon knows she means no harm. 

Jimin chuckles but she shakes her head. "No. I am Yoonji's best friend." 

Yoonji turns to her, not sure what Jimin means by that exactly. Jimin has her eyes on her too, a small smile playing on her lips. It looks sad however, almost painful. Yoonji wants to ask her what Jimin means, but not right now, she can't. Plus, the song playing suddenly changes and Hoseok and Namjoon both turn to each other. Yoonji rolls her eyes as the two boys run to the dance floor, screaming in delight. 

"I'm going to join them." Taeyeon says as she unwraps her arms from Yoonji. "I can't let them embarrass themselves on their own." 

Yoonji laughs and smiles as she watches Taeyeon joining Namjoon and Hoseok on the dance floor. Yoonji walks closer to Jimin and nudges her hip with hers. "Wanna join them?" 

Jimin smiles but shakes her head yet again. "No, I think I am good for tonight." 

Yoongi hums. They stand here like this, watching everyone dancing. Yoonji turns to Jimin and like clockwork, seconds later, her best friend turns to her as well. Jimin offers her a smile before she asks. "What is it?" 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Taeyeon and I." Yoonji says. 

Jimin nods. "Is that what you wanted to tell me?" 

Yoonji nods too. "Yes. It didn't feel like something I should say over text or call.. I am sorry." Her hands are shaking with her next question. "Were you surprised? That I am dating a girl?" She has to ask. She'd hate for her friendship with Jimin to stop because Jimin might not support her choices. 

Jimin frowns at her, then her eyes widen in realization. "Is that why you didn't tell me? Because you thought I wouldn't be okay with it? Yoonji-ah, I.." Jimin closes her mouth suddenly, shutting her eyes in the process too. She takes a deep breath before reopening them. "Are you happy?" 

Yoonji feels tears prickling in her eyes but she nods regardless. "I am. I really like Taeyeon." 

Jimin offers her another smile, but just like earlier, it looks painful. "Then, that's all that matters to me." 

Yoonji wants to hug her right then and there, but then she feels someone grabbing her hand. "Yoonji-ah, come dance with us!" Taeyeon is smiling as she holds onto Yoonji's hand. Yoonji smiles back almost immediately, but she turns to Jimin, silently asking if it's okay. Okay to what exactly, she's not sure but it feels like it's more than just a dance. 

"Go." Jimin tells her. That same smile is there. "Have fun." 

"You're sure?" Yoonji insists. 

Jimin nods. "Yes, go." She even nudges Yoonji forward into Taeyeon who doesn't waste time in pulling Yoonji towards her. Yoonji leaves Jimin's side with one last look of reassurance. By the time she's on the dance floor, Taeyeon has her lips on her already and like always, Yoonji forgets everyone around them. 

They dance like this for a while, and Yoonji shares a couple of dances with Namjoon but she mostly sticks with Taeyeon. She feels light on her feet and in her heart, a sense of happiness wrapping her whole. A slow song starts and Taeyeon pulls her closer, a day smile on her face, the same as Yoonji's. They lean into one another until their foreheads touch. With their hands around each other's waists and their eyes closed, Yoonji feels like the world is theirs. A moment pass where they sway to the sound of the music before movement on their side break the little spell they were under. When Yoonji turns, she spots Hoseok pushing Namjoon away violently. 

"Why would you do that?!" Hoseok exclaims and Namjoon, looking terrified, opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. The younger boy turns around and runs, leaving a few people to stare at them on the dance floor. 

Yoonji steps away from Taeyeon, stepping closer to Hoseok. "What happened?" 

Hoseok looks at her, in horror. "He kissed me." 

Shit, Yoonji thinks. "I'll go find him." She gives Taeyeon's hand a squeeze before she leaves the dance floor too in search of Namjoon. Leaving the venue, she's hit by the cold air outside and brings her arms around herself to keep warm. She looks around, no Namjoon in sight. When she goes around the building, she sees two figures sitting on the staircase a little further away and recognizes Jimin and Namjoon immediately. Frowning, she wonders when did Jimin step outside; Yoonji hadn't noticed. Slowly, she steps closer, ready to comfort her friend. 

"I just.. friends don't look at each other that way, you know?" She hears Namjoon say. 

"Looks can be deceiving. Trust me, I would know." Jimin answers next. Yoonji stops in her tracks, listening. She shouldn't eavesdrop, but it's unintentional really. "Sometimes, you can look at someone with all the love in the world trapped in your eyes and they wouldn't see it. I've also realized that most of the time, when you see that little glimmer in their eyes, it's only your mind playing tricks on you." 

Yoonji wonders who Jimin is talking about. Jimin hadn't mentioned anyone in her texts or phone calls. Why would she keep it in secret? Especially to Yoonji. They're best friends, they've never kept anything from each other. But then Yoonji thinks about how she kept her relationship with Taeyeon a secret from Jimin until tonight, and well. 

"But I did see it." Namjoon complains and he sounds broken, his voice shaking and it breaks Yoonji's heart a little. "It was right there in his eyes. And he keeps complimenting me all the time, and every time I brushed it off, thinking it was all in my head but tonight we were dancing and I just.. I thought.." 

Yoonji sees Jimin wrapping her arms around Namjoon. The younger boy leans into it and places his head on her shoulder. "It's okay. He wasn't expecting it, and you took him by surprise. Even if he doesn't like you like that, it's okay." 

"But what if I lose a friend? What if after tonight, he never wants to speak to me again?" Namjoon sniffles. 

At this, Yoonji decides to step in. She clears her throat and steps closer. Namjoon and Jimin turn towards her. Yoonji sits down on the opposite side of Namjoon. "Hey, how's my brave boy?" She asks, easing in. 

Namjoon scoffs. Like this, she can see his eyes full of tears and cheeks flushed bc of the cold. "I wasn't brave, I was stupid." 

"Hey, don't say that." Yoonji immediately retorts. "You're the most intelligent person I know. What happened tonight-" 

"Is a mistake and now Hoseok hyung hates me!" Namjoon finishes.  

"He doesn't hate you, Joon-ah." Yoonji shakes her head. "Plus, anyone who would hate you for something as silly as a kiss is stupid." 

Both Namjoon and Jimin look up. "So you do admit the kiss was stupid?" It's Namjoon who speaks. 

Yoonji opens her mouth with an answer but Jimin takes the lead. "A kiss isn't stupid but it's such a small thing, it doesn't always have to mean anything. Sometimes, a kiss is just a kiss. Right, Yoonji-ah?" 

Yoonji wants to protest. She wants to say that she still thinks about Jimin pressing her lips onto hers, how it had sent shivers down her spine despite how short-lived it was. Yoonji wants to say that a kiss does mean something, even when you don't talk about it. She wants to say that a kiss is special, regardless of what happens afterwards. She wants to tell that Namjoon that he has nothing to be afraid or ashamed of but she looks back at Jimin and her words are stuck in her throat. 

"But it did mean something to me." Namjoon says, breaking Yoonji's train of thoughts. "I really like him." 

Yoonji feels for him. If she could protect Namjoon from everything, she would. Wrap him up in a bubble wrap blanket and keep all the bad things in the world away from him. She pulls him closer and squeezes his shoulders. Her arm slightly brushes Jimin but she pays it no mind. 

Jimin continues. "Ha Namjoon-ssi, you have your whole life in front of you. Years from now, you won't even remember tonight. One day, you won't even remember you wanted someone named Jung Hoseok. " 

"How do you know that?" Namjoon genuinely asks. 

At this, Yoonji jumps on the train. "Because you'll meet someone." She says, nudging Namjoon's shoulder. "You'll meet someone and they will change your life and how you see it. They'll make you see the world in a different light, in different colors and everyone you've loved before is going to fade into the past, forgotten. I promise you, Joon-ah. Sometimes, things don't have to be a big deal. Sometimes, a kiss is just a kiss." She repeats Jimin's words but something inside her chest cracks. 

Namjoon wipes his cheeks in between the two girls, and sighs. "Even with that, I don't think I could ever face him again. At least, not tonight." Turning to Yoonji, he asks. "Can I sleep over at your dorm tonight?" 

Yoonji opens her mouth to protest, to say she and Jimin are supposed to have a sleepover but then, she finds herself not being able to say no. "Of course." 

The three of them walk into Yoonji's dorm near midnight. It's quiet, with so many students having already departed for the winter break. Yoonji already texted Taeyeon to let her know that she's taking Namjoon and Jimin in for the night. Yoonji's dorm room is empty and silent as they step in, thanks to her roommate being away on break already. Upon entering, Namjoon asks if he can use the shower and Yoonji agrees. She starts to set up a little area in between the two beds so they can all sleep as one on the floor when Jimin speaks up. 

"I think I'll head home." 

Yoonji turns to her, frowning. Jimin hasn't moved from the side of the door, holding one of her arm tightly against her body. She looks at the little nest she has made and then back at Jimin. "There's enough room for the three of us." 

"I know, I know, I just.." Her voice shakes and when Yoonji looks up, she sees unshed tears in Jimin's eyes. 

"Hey.." She steps closer immediately, reaching for Jimin. "What's wrong?" 

Jimin shakes her head. "Nothing, I am.. I am just a little tired." 

Yoonji tries to get a look at Jimin's face but the other girl only looks away. Gently, Yoonji pulls Jimin's face up with her hands. A trembling breath escapes Jimin and Yoonji finds a small joy in feeling Jimin slowly relax under her touch. "Hey, what's wrong?" She repeats. Jimin has been.. a little off all evening. Yoonji thinks it might be her fault for not spending time with her as she had hoped they would tonight. She had gotten distracted but now that they're standing so close, Yoonji can see the little cracks around Jimin's composure. She's never seen Jimin like this. 

Jimin's eyes fall shut and Yoonji leans forward until their foreheads touch, their breathing mixing. The gesture is the same but somehow, it feels different than earlier, with Taeyeon. While Taeyeon had been holding her waist tightly, keeping her near, Jimin only has one hand in the crook of Yoonji's elbow, as if she's ready to pull away. Yoonji can see the tears running down her best friend's cheeks, but she has no words of comfort for them, only questions. But she can only watch as they stain Jimin's cheeks. They remain like this until the door of the bathroom clicks open and Namjoon enters the room again, all clean and fresh, his own cheeks dry of tears. They all gather on the nest Yoonji has created on the floor and fall asleep after a while in utter silence. Yoonji falls asleep counting each of Jimin's breaths, watching her chest rise with each one. 

When she wakes up in the morning, the air is still and Jimin is gone.