Archive of Our Own

my name is june egbert, and i’ve had a pretty weird day!

to start off with, i came out to my dad a few days ago! he honestly took it really well. better than i was expecting him to. he went around changing all of the “SON, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU” notes to say “daughter”!

but the weirdness isn’t all positive. last night, i had a really shitty sleep because i got mugged on the way home from hanging out with dave. the mugger didn’t get anything, but he did scratch me up pretty bad before running away! i’ve got bandaids on all my arms now. i’ve been telling people i fought a bear.

anyways. after having that absolutely awful sleep, i slept straight through my alarm and couldn’t get breakfast this morning before school. so i’m fucking starving, which isn’t the most conducive to learning! but i’m dealing with it.

i’m in the car with my dad right now. he’s driving me to school after my alarm mishap, which also caused me to miss the bus. right now i’m focusing on staying awake, which is surprisingly hard.

dad quirks an eyebrow in response. he doesn’t talk so much, but we both know sign language with a bit of our own brand of pidgin thrown in for when his hands are busy. like now!

he nods and jabs a thumb at the backseat.

i twist around to rummage through the backseat and find a granola bar in one of the pouches. fucking score!

i unwrap it and take a bite and… eugh. must be stale. it tastes like cardboard.

eh, whatever. it’s calories. i’ll tough it out.

dad touches my shoulder gently to get my attention and nods out the front window.

oh hell yeah, we’re here!

er, i mean. oh noooooo, i hate school.

but really it’s not so bad with my friends there. especially dave…

i clear my head and get out of the car, headed for the front door. i don’t have any of my friends in my first class so i’m sort of on autopilot. i get some people waving at me and i wave back.

i sit down and plunk my bag next to my chair. didn’t have time to hit my locker.

the first class passes in a blur. it’s english, which i’m not the hugest fan of, but at least it isn’t math.

computer science is my favourite class though. and music.

music, mostly. because i get to see dave.

and…

yeah, i’ve got it bad, i guess.

oh yeah. another part of my weird day is that i’m planning to tell dave i have a crush on him.

see, i’d pushed my feelings down for a while when i realized i was a girl because i was worried he might not accept me, and therefore might not reciprocate. but when i came out last week, just before i did to dad, and he was so nice and accepting and used my name and pronouns…

yeah. my little crush came back in full force, hah.

i zone back in from my expository thoughts as the teacher’s saying “see y’all tomorrow! get that essay done, y’hear?” or something sanctimonious and southern like that. which is kind of weird, because a) we’re in the eleventh grade, not the second and b) we’re in seattle. but oh well!

time to get moving to my next class. music, as mentioned. my favourite. i play piano, dave plays saxophone. yes, he knows careless whisper. no, he doesn’t know any of the songs we’re supposed to know.

anyways. i sit down in my usual spot at the piano, with dave’s empty chair on my right. technically, he’s supposed to be on the far left of the room with the other horns, but he likes sitting over here with me and the teacher got bored of correcting him.

the best part about this arrangement is that dave and i are sitting in the corner of the room, pretty far away from the other queers i mean band kids. so we get to talk as much as we want, or until the teacher gives us the stink eye.

i settle in, futzing with the electric piano so i can get it back to the settings i like after the other classes futzed with my futzing. jerks.

i barely even notice dave walking in until he’s dropping into the chair next to me with a “whumph”.

i’ve been out for a short enough time that that still gives me a pleasant tingly feeling in my spine. or maybe it’s just from him being the one to say it and shush shush shush it’s eight am focus on the piano!!!!

dave’s setting up his instrument next to me. good time to ask him if he can talk to me at lunch for… the thing. butterflies lurch in my stomach even though i didn’t think about it directly.

he does a goofy impression while he says this. it takes me a second to register who he’s trying to imitate, but…

his ears go pink.

he places his hand on his chest and stares at me from behind his shades.

he flips me off with a snort. god he’s such a fucking dork.

class’s about to start. better spring the question on him before everyone starts playing and the room gets too loud to think.

the trumpets start warming up and whatever we were gonna say next is lost to the noise.

—

walking with dave and making small talk is getting kind of hard and i don’t know why.

eugh.

i feel kind of like… weird? there’s this ache in my chest that won’t go away and i’m really hungry. but i had breakfast, didn’t i?

oh shit right!!!

okay i’m still really hungry but that’s fine i’ll just eat at the park.

oh shit dave’s saying something

he slips his water bottle out of the side of his bag because he’s the kind of dork who forgets that lockers exist. he passes it to me and i’m definitely gonna be normal about putting my lips where dave’s lips have been.

i take a few big swigs and… hrmmm.

he stops dead in the middle of the sidewalk and strikes an exaggerated pose, one hand on his hip and the other pointing at me.

we pick back up.

i pass him the water bottle and he takes a sip, then looks at me with an eyebrow raised before passing back the bottle.

he makes that stupid “come hither” motion with his hand and nods somewhere behind him, then does a stupid voice that i think is supposed to make him sound like some sort of casanova chick magnet.

he winks.

he winks again.

he winks.

he finally breaks composure and laughs.

he leads me off to somewhere in the middle of the park. as we walk, i take some more drinks of water. still doesn’t really taste like anything, kinda like that granola bar from earlier. are my taste buds working?

i sit down across from dave and dig into the lunch dad packed for me. another DAUGHTER, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU note is inside.

i get some food in me.

i eat the sandwich dad prepped for me and…

hrmmm. still doesn’t really taste like anything. just… textures. dad’s usually pretty good at this. i’m beginning to get kinda worried.

well… at least it’s filling the hole?

it’s not really even doing that, though. in fact, i feel hungrier than before.

like, really hungry. i feel like i haven’t eaten in days. and thirsty, too, even though i just drained dave’s water bottle.

dave spots my worried expression and furrows his eyebrows in worry.

dave shrugs.

butterflies are back. hough, jeez.

that empty feeling in my gut won’t go away, either, so i just talk and hope i can forget it.

my eyes flick to his jaws as he talks and… he really does have a nice jawline. sort of round and sharp all at once, like it would make a cool shadow boundary in an artsy photo but also be good to touch.

i hear him saying something but my thoughts are more important right now.

looking at his jaw. imagining touching it. fingers trace down to his shoulders. mouth to his neck, teeth dig in. this scene keeps playing out in my head. it restarts when it ends. i dunno why i’m… so hung up on that last part. teeth dig in. i’ve imagined kissing his neck before this shouldn’t be so different

he’s got his hands on my shoulders.

i try to speak but i find my throat is. super dry. can’t, do anything.

i make some sort of weird croak and point to his water bottle.

i clear my throat and that at least lets me talk.

wait a fucking second. something clicks in my head.

food and water don’t taste like anything. i zoned out while focusing on dave’s neck. and to top it all off i’ve been thirsty all morning and water isn’t working to fix it!!

fuck!!!!!!!!!! i really like being out in the sun!!!!!!!!!!

i stumble up from the bench and back away from dave slowly. he tries to follow but i put my hands up to stop him.

he straightens up and puts his hands up like “alright”. sits back down on the bench i just left, facing me.

he holds his hands out palm up like he’s comforting a wild animal.

my breath hitches and i wrap my arms around myself to keep them from shaking.

can’t think about his words without thinking about how hungry i am. can’t think about how hungry i am without thinking about how i want dave’s,

his,

my brain stutters like a scratched record over the word.

dave’s blood.

something in my head snaps at that thought and i uncurl myself like a flower in bloom.

try to force my voice to stay even. chipper as usual.

he goes to sit back down but i interrupt him

he flushes dark at that, another reminder of what’s under his skin.

as he opens his arms and leans in i’m very certain what i’m doing is wrong, but i’m too hungry to care. absolutely manic with this empty feeling, like if i don’t get a drink i’ll just die outright.

we embrace and i lean my head into his neck and i bite.

my teeth pierce his neck like it’s made out of paper mache.

i hold him closer to keep him from running. his blood touches my tongue and it’s

holy fucking shit, it’s like i’ve been crawling through the desert for a year and finally found an oasis.

hot, tangy, sweet, rust flavour. blood. it tastes so good. i drink greedily, and as i feel it hit my gut i feel all of the exhaustion and aches and thirst of the last morning fall away, replaced with calm. calmer than i’ve ever been, i think.

as the calm soaks over me, and reason returns, i-

OH FUCK!!!!!!

i pull away from dave and he scrambles away from me, falling to the ground beside the park bench.

i try to approach him hands out like he did to me but he just scrambles back on his hands like he’s terrified of me and that breaks something in me.

oh god i’m crying now okay just push through it egbert

i try to make a noise of frustration but it comes out more like a growl, that’s, kind of worrying,

i open my mouth and gesture at my teeth. i don’t actually know if they’re like… you know. but i guess i’m just hoping they are. for the effect.

dave hisses in a breath.

i pull out my phone and aim the selfie camera at my open mouth.

sigh of relief, because fuck yes, dave was just messing with me. i got the typical vampire look. two fangs on top two on bottom. god that’s weird to look at. do i need braces now?

and… there’s dave’s blood trickling from the corners of my mouth, coating my teeth. i

hrm

i mean it would be kinda rude to waste it…

i put my phone away, flick my tongue over to the corner of my mouth and get the remaining blood. still tastes good but doesn’t hit me with that feeling from earlier. maybe that’s just because i was super hungry. i turn my attention back to dave who’s looking at me with a little disgust. i raise an eyebrow.

i realize what i’m saying halfway through saying it and fluster slightly, but i did come here to spill the beans so…

dave joins me in the blushing party.

finally a question i can actually answer!

i realize that i’m still standing while he’s sitting in the grass and decide to sit down across from him.

dave looks sheepish, scratches his head.

dave holds up a finger for me to wait, then roots through his backpack and tosses me a box of kleenex. i shoot him an “are you kidding?” look as i clean the rest of it off with my tongue.

even though it had kinda started to dry, it still tastes good. like really good. did gordon ramsay make dave’s blood?

dave looks away from me, blushes, and says something so quiet i can’t make it out.

i blush way harder than dave at that.

he puts his hands up and rushes to reassure me.

dave’s been blushing more and more as he goes on with his monologue. is he…?

he takes a breath then rushes out the next few sentences.

oh god i’m definitely blushing way too much to pass off as completely platonic

i burst out laughing because are you fucking kidding me he beat me to it!!!!!! that rat bastard!!!!!!!!!

dave slides slowly down to lay on his back in the grass. he looks up at the sky as he says