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Stan knew it was time to get over her, it had been almost nine months for fuck’s sake. But his heart broke a little more whenever he saw Syd with Dina, or whenever he was reminded of the fact that they were together. Of course, he was happy for both of them, especially Syd, but there was always that slight jealousy that he just couldn’t ever move on from.
He still hung out with Syd regularly, nothing between them changed and, on the surface, nothing was any different from before Stan confessed. To his knowledge, he was doing a good job at hiding the fact that he was still helplessly crushing on Syd. He was only sixteen, yet already letting things like love fuck him up. Great job, Stan. Your life is already a fucking shitshow . This was something he would often think to himself.
When he laid in bed at night poorly attempting to go to sleep, he would replay the exact moment that Sydney Novak rejected him. It had taken him so much courage to tell her, and when he wasn’t expecting the response he got, he tried to play it cool. It broke his heart then, but it broke him even more now, somehow.
He knew he took their friendship for granted—he and Syd had an extremely strong bond yet he still wanted to be more. And with Syd being his only friend, he had no one to ask for advice on how to lose feelings for someone.
Stan was walking around the neighborhood one rainy day when he found Syd sitting in the middle of the road as rain poured down on her. Her previously curly hair had straightened out and the orange color it was had been replaced by a dark brown with those warm undertones.
“Syd?” She looked up as Stan ran to her, helping her up off of the ground and pulling her over to the side of the road, making sure she was covered by his umbrella the whole time. Stan suggested they go back to Syd’s house for her to change clothes and then he would ask why the hell she was sitting in the middle of the road. So they walked together mostly in silence under Stan’s bright blue umbrella back to Syd’s house, which wasn’t too far from where they were. Her mom was at work and Liam was with one of his friends, so Syd and Stan had the house to themselves for a little while.
Syd made Stan wait outside of her room while she changed her clothes and opened the door when she was finished. “So, please do tell me, why the fuck were you just sitting in the middle of the road?”
“It’s nice,” Syd said, though it came out almost like a question.
“Yeah, real nice when you get hit by a car,” Stan sat down next to Syd on her bed and crossed his legs over each other, turning his head to look over at Syd, who had her head tilted down.
“What happened?” Stan wasn’t really expecting a response since the only times he had ever gotten Syd to confess anything was when she was high—and he knew that because they weren’t at his house, he wouldn’t be able to do that because Syd’s mom would kill both of them.
“Dina happened,” Syd sighed. “I don’t think she ever actually liked me—not anymore than as a friend. And then we got into an argument about that, and you know we never argue, and she said she needed a break. So things are going great !” Syd forced a fake smile and held up a very sarcastic thumbs-up.
“If you wanna get high we could go to my house,” Stanley suggested with a shrug. “Maybe it’ll take your mind off of it.”
“Nah, it’s fine,” Syd fell on her back on the bed and blankly stared up at the ceiling, fidgeting with her hands which rested on her stomach. “I’m honestly just thankful that I didn’t have an outburst. You’re still the only one that knows. I think I’m getting better at controlling it.”
“Actually, now that you mention it, you seem a lot calmer recently. Not such a dick all the time,” Stan said with a quiet, airy laugh. Upon realizing that Syd wasn’t laughing with him, he stopped and awkwardly coughed a few times to fill the silence.
“Um,” Stan stood up and coughed once more, actually having given himself a dry throat from fake-coughing. “I’m gonna—go,” he said and started walking backwards out of the room. Syd sat up and before Stan could leave, she walked up to him and brought him into a hug. Stan was completely taken aback, but didn’t complain and instead wrapped his arms back around her—who knew when and if this would ever happen again in the history of the world. He took advantage of this moment and when it ended, he made sure to lock this memory in a special cavity and keep it safe.
“Wasn’t expecting that?” Syd asked with a bit of a smile.
“Oh, yeah, I was totally expecting a hug from Sydney Novak, specifically sober Sydney,” Syd uttered a small laugh. She hugged him again.
“Hey, I don’t exclusively like girls. You might have a chance someday,” she whispered to Stan.
“How could you tell?”
“When I hang out with you almost every day, things like that become obvious. And I’m sorry for like, only talking about Dina. I can’t imagine how shitty that feels.” Stan smiled a little and made himself a bit less awkward in Syd’s arms.
“It’s okay,”
Maybe his life would take a turn for the better. Maybe he wouldn’t be miserable for the rest of his life, sitting in a corner and watching his best friend and crush be in love with someone else. Maybe, one day, she’d like him back.
Maybe he was okay with this.