Archive of Our Own

Hail of Bullets

As he stepped into the shabby old housing block, he immediately noticed the familiar moldy smell of rotten wood and fungus that had grown on the damp stone of the walls. It was the cold pure autumn air that drove every nuance, no matter how faint, even deeper up his nose making it impossible to ignore. Maybe he should have reconsidered the location of their hideout by then and maybe it would have been wiser to move to a more homely and inconspicuous area.
On the other hand, people rarely got around this part of the town; no one asked unnecessary questions, and they didn't have to pretend being someone they weren’t. But then again, maybe all that just didn't make any difference; death, we all know, came on silent paws and could ambush them pretty much anywhere.

With tensed shoulders and a vigilant look, he slowly made his way down the dark corridor until he had reached his destination. The battered door looked pretty much dilapidated, but the appearance was deceiving - he would have never taken such a risk. He focused his mind one last time, screening his surroundings, before quietly sliding the key into the metal lock and unlocking it.
As soon as he entered the apartment behind, a rush of warm air and the smell of instant noodle soup hit him, and the room was sparsely lit, with only a small desk lamp next to the sofa illuminating the room. Silently letting the air out of his lungs, he felt a bit of the burden about to fall off him. He knew he could finally relax as soon as the door slammed shut.

The light coming from under the bathroom door gap told him that he was not all alone. His suspicions were confirmed almost at the same instant when the very door swung open and a familiar pair of eyes peered out with curiosity.

Matt.

"Mello?"

"Hm."

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Didn’t care to make an appearance in a while."
As he was midway through his observation, Matt moved across the room to one of the cupboards and fumbled in one of the drawers with one hand. In the other, he balanced his toothbrush.
Mello slipped the boots off his feet and his fingers wandered almost automatically to the zipper of his jacket watching Matt out of the corner of his eye. Even though his partner was not the type to sit at home and worry about stuff, there was yet something comforting about knowing that Matt wasn't making a big deal out of his homecoming.

"There you go, catch!"

Although it wasn't his custom, Mello complied instinctively as his reflexes responded in a blink of an eye.
For a brief moment, he gazed at the chocolate bar in his hand that the gamer had thrown towards him. It was precisely what his nerves had been longing for for so long. So, without further hesitation, he began peeling the sweet gold from its wrapper as he looked around in the apartment.
He noticed his spirits lifting with each moment that passed and it almost made a smile steal onto his lips. Only almost.

"It's the last bar, though. Hmm... Well, I thought about doing the grocery shopping tomorrow anyway. The fridge is empty too, I didn't expect you to be popping in."

"Popping in, huh?"

"Oh, excuse me! It slipped my mind that the gentleman also lives here."

A mocking grin laid on the features of his for-so-many-years-trusted partner (or should he say his companion, or even… friend?) He'd known Matt since Wammy's, actually since he could remember. Matt was the only one in his surroundings who could stand up to him, and who had been by his side loyally for many years.

And for that very reason, Matt was the only one he trusted.

"Took a little longer this time." Mello watched with a piece of chocolate between his lips his roommate, who quickly cleared with his toothbrush in his mouth his cables and the disassembled laptop with all its separate parts from the sofa to create some space and ‘order’.
He knew perfectly well that Mello hated nothing more than tripping over electronic components all over the floor. And Matt hated nothing more than having to watch Mello step on his precious treasures. So for him, cleaning up became a rescue mission.

"Since when do you volunteer to do this?" Asked Mello.

"Just because." An outright lie. And the mafia boss knew it, too, but it didn't bother a bit. Not at this moment.

Matt couldn't be fooled. He had seen at first glance how things were about Mello's mood and decided it was best to keep any potentially conflict at bay for the time being.
Mello was tired and strained, which could only result in him being incredibly annoyed. It provoked the chocolate junkie whenever something disrupted or distracted his acumen. But his current mood was probably also related to his quite long absence. And his henchmen, his enemies, the police, the press, L, Near, and of course the simple-minded human race in general, as Mello had once summed it up.

"Matt?"

"Hm."

"Nevermind." As he said this, the gamer clumsily dumped the last load of electronics into a box with a single wave of his hand.

"Aren't you worried about this junk breaking?"

"So, what if it does?", countering Mello’s question with a shrug Matt continued: "Then I'll just fix it again. Don't have that much to do anyway."

And it's not nearly as irreversible as being crushed under your feet, he added in thought.

"Don't you dare -"

"I'll make sure it works whenever need something," He cut him off in his threat. As a matter of fact, Mello hadn't expected anything like this from his roommate. Matt had not only taken the wind out of his sails but had also silenced him with this. It somehow caught him off guard.

With an annoyed growl, he disappeared into the bedroom and flopped down on the vast joint bed; neither of them had a problem sharing it. One, neither had to sleep on the couch should they both be home, and two, they had quickly realized that two single beds in the tight room almost amounted to the same thing as a shared one.
The bed alone already took up almost the entire width of the room, with only a little space on the sides for either of them, each of which was furnished with a small table either full of chocolate or a Gameboy.
The remainder of the room had only enough space to store their very few belongings. But they didn't need more than that; over the years, they had both learned to get by with only bare essentials.

Mello noticed how the mattress next to him gave way. However, he felt little desire to open his eyes and look at his visitor. Nor did he when he noticed someone tampering with his tight leather pants. "You don't want to sleep with your clothes on, do you?"

"Hm."

At some point in the last two years, they had started sharing more than just the bed. Neither of them could say now why or how it had even come to this. But despite Mello's initial reservations, he had soon refrained from even trying to resist it.

After all, there was nothing to it.

At the very least, that phrase had become engrained deeper and deeper in his mind, and there had been no reason to question it ever since. It was one of the few things he had simply just accepted.
At the moment he was about to open his eyes, he felt Matt's warm lips gently meet his and slowly, but increasingly, they became ever more demanding.
Willingly he let himself fall for it, pulling Matt closer and making it unmistakably clear to him that he was welcome to go on – that he had to. To be able to just indulge in his desires for a while, to not have to think and to block out everything else, seemed to be a welcomed change for him.

"You feel cold."

"I am cold." Growled Mello angrily as he really had no intention to talk now. Now he wanted something completely different.

"Hm. That can be helped," Matt whispered softly in his ear and he could vividly picture the lascivious grin on Matt's features. Mello shivered pleasantly as he felt Matt's grazing breath on his neck and the damp lips on his skin. Warm fingertips traveled light as a feather up his sides under his shirt, teasingly exploring his body.

Mello’s hand slid through his partner's red hair, clawed into the tousled strands and dragged him back to his mouth. He pressed his lips against the other's imperiously and only a second later Matt’s tongue that pushed playfully against his own. With their tongues entangling in a passionate game either of them wanted to lose and Matt’s seductive touches all over him, the gamer ignited a voracious fire within him that made him crave for so much more.

Matt hummed into their kiss in delight, his hands still trailing over his partner's cold skin. He had approached cautiously at first to test Mello’s mood and how far he could dare to go. There were many things Matt wanted to try - Mello's knee in his crown jewels, however, was not one of them. But the blond seemed to be lusting after him and he wasn't about to withhold himself from Mello. Again and again he kissed him impetuously, with every kiss becoming more intense, his hands more possessive and Mello more demanding. 
Mello moaned softly as Matt tweaked his nipple and ran his thumb over it again and again teasingly. He lightly twirled it between his fingers, then gently caressed it and thus sending a thousand little electric impulses through Mello's body. He felt Matt's heat, rousing shivers emanating from his touches all the way deep into his abdomen, and he almost automatically moved even closer to his partner.

It was the urge to grasp some air that forced them to briefly separate from each other and that gave Mello the chance to take action on his own. While his one hand was still clawing the mane of red hair, the other strayed over Matt's heated chest all the way straight to his hips. Nimbly he slipped under the fabric of the pants, grasped his ass firmly and pulled him harsh against him. Mello heard the surprised gasp and sensed the heated breath on his skin and Matt's demanding hands all over his body.

He felt the feisty lips spreading passionately kisses and the sharp teeth that dug into him and with this, the unquenched lust that Matt continued to incite with each of his touches. But even more than that, he felt Matt's bulge pressing hard against his beneath the cloth.
Mello lost himself in their hustle, wanting so much more, and his very impatience began to throb uncomfortably in his pants.

And then suddenly all of it stopped, Matt’s touches were gone within the blink of an eye.

Matt had abruptly detached himself from Mello and without further ado he bluntly stripped his partner of the black top and took advantage of Mello's surprise to do the same to the tight leather on his hip. Oh boy, that view was already much better.

"Matt!" growled Mello warningly, but without any success.

With unflinching calm, Matt looked at the slender body under him, the pale aroused skin, the fine muscles that barely visible contoured on the delicate torso, and the dark irises glaring at him in anger.

Oh yes, Mello did not like to wait, nor to be exposed. But Matt did not let that bother him.

Before Mello had a chance to vent his discontent on him, Matt grabbed his hands and pressed them into the mattress, making sure they wouldn't get in his way. With a malicious grin, he bent over to Mello and began, agonizingly slowly, to run his wet tongue down the collarbone and farther down the chest. He licked over the nipples, nibbled tantalizingly at Mello, and let his hot breath glide over the still cool skin.

No doubt he would make Mello forget all the hardships of his job and drive him to the point where he craved nothing but him, completely surrendering to his lust.

Matt shifted his weight on Mello's abdomen and felt his hard cock thrusting against him. He couldn't deny his pleasure as he moved on top of Mello during his caresses, slowly but surely driving him out of his mind. He felt the slender body squirm beneath him, his waist leaning forward, Mello's self-control dwindling further and further, and his throat letting loose all the sounds Matt wanted to hear - except for the occasional grumble.
He freed one hand from his grip and ran his fingertips along Mello's sides, his touches nothing more than a delicate breath, going deeper and deeper. He watched with amusement the shivers he sent through Mello's body.
The mere look of Mello intensified the tingling in his lower abdomen tenfold and waves of lust flooded him from top to toe. Matt chose not to withhold Mello any further and in almost the same instant he could feel the cool fingers digging into his shoulders as he slid down Mello’s slender body. Matt wandered with his lips to Mello's navel, nuzzled against the soft skin of is belly and letting his warm wet tongue slide into it, in and out, in and out, again and again - fucked it in a way.

Mello moaned in defeat, his fingers scratching deep into his skin which elicited a pressed gasp out of the gamer. Impatiently he started tugging at Matt's clothes and felt his unspoken wish being immediately fulfilled, his partner now also stripping himself of his own clothes. From lust-veiled eyes, he followed Matt's every move, viewing the erection that even the gamer could no longer hide – not that he had wanted to in the first place.

"Just do it already" It wasn't much more than a stifled growl, but enough to dampen Matt's spirits.

Just as much as Mello hated it when people interfered with his leading, Matt hated it when people interfered with his leading. And these moments were exactly when he was leading. Because he could and he also wanted to.

He bent down to Mello until only mere millimeters separated their faces and looked deep into the dark irises that stared back at him with annoyance but also yearning. It bothered Mello when it didn't go his way but Matt really wasn’t keen on getting Mello’s bruised ego to get in his way or to get him even involved; after all, his partner certainly was not going to be the loser in their game.

Purely as a matter of principle, he should have just stopped here and now.

But even he could no longer ignore the almost painful throbbing in his cock. Harshly, he pressed his lips against Mello's, took possession of them roughly and indignantly until they were both out of air.

Okay, fine.

"I'll give you a pass on that one."

He ran one hand up the sensitive inside of Mello's thigh and with light force signaled Mello to open his legs. As he positioned himself, his hand kept moving over Mello's ass and from there to his middle, stroking along the delicate skin with gentle touches, his fingers teasing the taut muscle ring, moving further and then closing tightly around the erect cock. Mello's rollicking and almost relieved moan echoed in him and a silent sigh escaped his lips. He, too, was growing impatient.
Screw preparation, neither he nor Mello wanted to wait and besides, the blonde had just earned it. His hand sped to the small table next to the bed and fished out the lube from the drawer.

Mello only heard the snap of the clasp when Matt grabbed him and lifted his hips in the very next second. He felt the thrilled tingle in his belly and the greedy throbbing of his cock as his whole body flooded with desire. However, for a moment nothing seemed to happen and he watched as Matt leaned over him, strands of his hair tickling his chest. An angry growl was already stuck in his throat when Matt bit hard into his nipple, scattering his attention all over the place in a beat. He sharply gasped for air, only to groan loudly not a split second later. Thousands of lightning flashes twitched through his body as Matt pushed hard into him at the very same instant. He didn't know if it was pain or pleasure, but whatever the emotion was, it made him black out, forced the oxygen out of his lungs, and electrified his senses. 

He was only peripherally aware of the stifled gasping and panting and fingers clawing deep into his hips. All he could feel was Matt filling him completely, pushing his taut muscles apart and his cock pulsing impatiently inside him.
The gamer slowly withdrew and then immediately pushed back, again triggering his most sensitive spot. Over and over Matt thrust hard into him, getting faster with each time and completely driving – fucking - him out of his mind. It felt so damn good.

The more Matt penetrated him, the more he moaned and cried out in pleasure, almost automatically he started to sync with Matt’s movements. Mello tuned out everything else and let himself go. Matt's hard rhythmic moves, the fingers digging into his skin and the excited sounds of his partner drove Mello ever closer to his peak. 

Matt could barely hold onto himself. Mello's pain-distorted face and his simultaneous scream of lust as he harshly thrust into him had wrecked his self-control. His movements were jerky, rough, and driven by an almost animalistic lust that demanded more and more. He moaned loudly.

Fuck, how he enjoyed it when Mello surrendered to him like this.

He felt the growing tension in Mello's muscles and reached for his stiff cock to rub it in rhythm with his motions. He nearly regretted it when Mello's body tensed completely, reared up to meet him and he ultimately sent him over the cliff with only a few more thrusts. But the hot and almost crushing tightness had also brought down the last resistance inside him in the end and with a sound of release he came in his partner.
Breathlessly he looked at the skinny body under him, saw the flushed cheeks, the sheens of sweat that covered their bodies and all the lust that lingered still in their features. Leaning down to Mello, he took advantage of the slightly parted lips, entering with his tongue in the moist and warm mouth and claimed once more his possession of it.

Oh, they were far from being done here.

__x__

It was a miserable awakening the next day. Though it was only another night they had spent together. One of so many, except this night engraved this one particular realization deeply into his very core. Brutally. It was an almost random awareness that he could painfully feel at all levels of his consciousness. He had just woken up, finally getting at least some of the sleep he had craved so much, when this one particular feeling nearly made his stomach turn. The warmth of his partner against his back and the early rays of the sun hadn't made it any better, only worse. And the deeper this realization seeped, the more he rebelled against it. This was not what he had wanted. Not at all.

But whether he liked it or not, he felt at home right here. This actually was his home, for better or worse. Although it was this weirdo next to him who had made it so in the first place.
He had turned his back on Wammy's and everything that was related to it. He had chosen the life he now lived - one in which he did what he thought was right; in which he was judge. A life guided only by his own understanding of justice - not that of any government, of an organization like Wammy's, or L's.
At no moment had he chosen a happy home, joy, or even any profound feelings. And he certainly hadn't wanted a family - regardless of its form. Yet it was as if all of this had come crashing down on him in accumulated glory this morning.

It violently went against his grain that exactly this was now trying to force itself upon him. Or actually had already. Mello felt how his thoughts – and even worse - his feelings hit him ever more in the stomach and he could already sense the growing choking reflex.

None of this had he wanted.

But presumably he would then have had to turn from Matt, too.

He took a deep breath, swallowed. Thinking rationally; In case Matt should have given him a home - was that even possible? Wasn't all this a bit… strange? After all, they'd only ever been partners, sharing a certain background. But was that already enough? In the end, their deal was nothing but collaboration. From the very beginning. Nothing had really changed, so why was this revelation hitting him now of all times? Basically, Matt and he were still partners. And they still shared the same past as they had before. They still worked together like before and their companionship was pretty much the same.

Well, almost the same.

They had added only a few things. He had opened up to and accepted only a few things. He had only trusted a person blindly for the first time.
But it didn't in fact change anything. At no moment had their lives gone according to any sort of plan. Their jobs, yes - but everything that happened between the jobs or because of the jobs was like gambling. Only with thousands of nameless variables. What difference would it make to factor in another unknown? Except that his partner wasn't unknown to him. He was Matt.
Partner... Mello suppressed a fretful growl. As if this wretched realization wasn't already deep enough in his bones, he felt something eating deeper and deeper into him. Or trying to break out from right there. Either way, he didn't like it. He was abruptly torn out of his thoughts as he noticed a movement behind him and mentally thanked Matt for it. With effort he tried to distract himself and pushed back the nausea, which by now was making itself felt in the most penetrating way.
He didn't need to check to know that Matt was still fast asleep. It was a rare event that the gamer would be up before lunch.

Mello's gaze wandered out the small window to the scattered clouds drifting across the sky and then roamed over the gray, run-down skyscrapers and from there back to their room.

Suddenly he was wide awake. Wasn't there... ? Hadn't he just -

"Get up!" He yelled at Matt and got on his feet.

He was not mistaken. Completely impossible. Never would he misinterpret that glint in the light.

"Hell, damn it! Get up!" He yelled at him at the top of his lungs, silently scolding himself for his negligence. Matt still didn't respond. This idiot wouldn’t be rattled by absolutely anything, it rushed through his mind.

"GET UP!"

Matt, still completely drowsy, idly looked up at Mello, who was about to kick him violently out of bed.

"What...the hell...?"

"You should -"

Too late. Even before Matt had a chance to grasp the situation, it had already forced itself upon him. He only saw the window shatter into a thousand tiny pieces the next very instant. He heard a low whirring sound, as if arrows were cutting the air, and immediately understood. These were no arrows.

These were bullets.

Matt watched as Mello took cover, his reflexes being those of a predator, razor sharp with his senses strained to the max - no matter the circumstances. Not something Matt could claim of himself in comparison.

"Bloody hell," he grumbled as he clumsily took cover next to Mello. All that remained was to hope that the thin wooden planks of their bed could also withstand the gunfire.

"Where the hell did you find these-" "Fuck it!" snarled Mello through clenched teeth. "That miserable scum!" He had already gripped his gun tightly with his finger on the trigger; his muscles were tensed and ready to take the rebound of each bullet from his barrel. Crouching, he slid under the window and peeked up in the direction from which he suspected the gunfire was originating. He had clearly seen the flash of metal in the sunlight on the opposite roof.

"Matt."

"One, two at the most. The shots are all from pretty much the same direction, if you look at our wall here." His voice was calm, businesslike, while his gaze scanned the floor in search. His hand wandered under the bed, feeling his way blindly, but he just couldn't find what he was looking for.

Mello valued his partner's analyses more than he was willing to admit. But this matter-of-fact and completely unimpressed manner that Matt maintained even in such situations sent a cold shiver down his spine. They were under attack; within their own four walls. They were being targeted in the one place where they let their guard and caution down. And yet, Matt's voice was just as calm and uninvolved, as if he were playing one of these damn computer games while listing the results of some data analysis to him, as he so often did. Of all people, he, the one of them who was unarmed.

Their assailants made him furious and Mello sensed how it was boiling inside him. But it was Matt who countered this blazing fire inside him with such an icy coldness that his whole body began to tingle nervously. He tried to suppress this feeling within him, now he first had to get rid of this scum. For after all, it was also because of Matt's unruffled spirit that he could always count on him. Up until now, it had not happened once that he had given him false information. He unlocked his gun.

One sniper, two at the most. Well, in this case he had already spotted his target even before the first bullet had been fired. It was time to return the favor and put some lead in their friend's flesh.
The sensation that flooded his body as he pulled the trigger was indescribable. There was nothing else left, just him and his target. Everything was so crystal clear; the world was at his feet.

 
One.


          Two.


                    Three.


Then silence.

Nothing was left of the hissing rain of bullets that had cut the air. It was as if Mello had reverted time with his firing. All at once it seemed as peaceful as only a few minutes ago; almost too peaceful, hypocritical. They waited tensely, not making a move. But nothing happened. In the distance, they heard the low rumble of the freight train rushing along the old tracks, but there was nothing else.

Absolutely nothing. 

It appeared Mello had nailed it. Matt wasn't surprised; after all, there was a reason the chocolate junkie was as successful as he was in this business. In any other case they’d be making a living with something else to pass the time. Or they’d be already counting straws of grass from beneath the surface, depending. His hand was still blindly scanning the ground and gradually he could feel his patience wearing thin.

Then, at last - found.

Finally. He knew, they had to be here somewhere. With a craving itching in his fingers, Matt reached for the pack of cigarettes he had quickly tossed out of his pockets last night. Just a few hours ago, they would have only interfered with his plans, but now it was precisely what he was needing. Relieved, he fished for a cigarette and pressed down the lighter's igniter with his thumb. As he lit the embers at the tip, he could already feel himself relaxing immediately. Although he had seemed calm, he really could have done without starting the day like this. His whole posture collapsed as his muscles relaxed and he sank backwards against the edge of the bed. For a moment he closed his eyes, greedily taking drag after drag of the tobacco, inhaling the nicotine until he was sure it had filled his entire lung.

Mello slowly let himself slide down the wall. What the hell...? Somehow, in some strange unknown way, he felt completely paralyzed.
Why hadn't this moron taken cover? Sleepy and annoyed, Matt had even looked at him and asked what he had wanted him to do. As if he hadn't made that clear enough! What had he been thinking when he was still calmly watching their window, no, the entire room being perforated with bullets? And what wretched piece of filth had thought he could mess with him? Damn, he was extremely pissed now. His nerves were on edge, not at all had he had a thing for being messed with at home. At work or during an assignment, he didn't mind at all. That was something completely different.  
He scolded himself. It was foolish of him to have drawn that line, to think there was any safe place for them in this world.

Whoever had fired at them knew which window to aim for. That guy had to have been watching him - him and Matt. He felt the anger even more boiling up inside him. Maybe he had been tailed last night, but maybe they had been targeting him for some time now. Whoever it was, Mello hoped the bullets were deep in his bones making him writhe in pain for at least a few more minutes. He would most like to make sure that Death himself could scrape this scum off the street!
He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with oxygen, trying to force down this sickening reflux in his throat. All strength had gone out of his limbs and he felt the awkward tugging of his strained muscles as he leaned against the wall. He hoped the cold of the stone wall would transfer to his body and eventually to his brain and calm his nerves. They had just had a lucky escape; they might as well could have been killed.

He watched Matt leaving the room with serene steps and without saying anything else.

How could this guy be so relaxed and having a smoke in such situations? Addiction or not, he wouldn't have been able to swallow a single piece of chocolate now. Mello let several more moments pass, remaining motionless in place, and then looked around for his phone. It couldn't be too far away, after all, he had had it in his hand last night. He could only hope that it hadn't taken a bullet, but if worse came to worse, Matt was sure to have one that still worked - if not several.
It laid on the far corner of the bedside table, which he reached with two quick steps. With a sweeping flick of his wrist, he flipped open the small device and pressed the speed dial button before putting it to his ear, he sat down on the mattress. It didn't take two gasps before he heard the familiar voice on the other end of the line.

"I've had a visitor. Make sure you take care of his leftovers."

He wasted no time with pleasantries or any circumlocutions, and as soon as he had given the location, he let the phone snap shut again, and so ended the conversation.

He looked around, inspecting the room and especially the damage it had taken. And again, that weird feeling went through his stomach. This red-haired idiot urgently needed to start following instructions. And that without hesitating or even asking. But he'd probably have to beat that into him by force. It wasn't that Matt wasn't cooperating with him, he just had a mind of his own. Something he wouldn't have tolerated in any other person.
Frustrated, he bit his lips. He couldn't sit around here forever, he would have to look into this matter and find about how it had even come to this. But neither his thoughts nor his body wanted to obey him; there was still pure chaos inside him. Just a moment ago, Matt and he were...together, and as soon as he opened his eyes, this damn metal came crashing down on them.

He faltered.

By the way, what about Matt? Had he actually managed to take cover in time? He hadn't said a word and had instead just gotten up and walked out of the room. In a twisted way, Mello admittedly wished that Matt had lost the taste for them working together and would just up and leave for the sake of his safety; just get the hell far away from him. But he knew that the odds were against him. Even though it would have served Matt best if he held his life dear. But that was probably the point - this idiot didn't give a fuck about his life.
Whatever it was that was keeping Matt around him. After all, he was a lead figure in the mafia, took on only the most lucrative and therefore most dangerous assignments, and would certainly be under fire many more times in the future. And Matt? Matt had always stayed in the background, feeding him with intel and often preparing things even before he had asked for them. Matt wasn't his right-hand man; he was the only person who actually cared about him. And therefore, Matt always made sure that Mello was one step ahead of his enemies.
But basically, the gamer had no business being involved, he was just risking his life.

Mello snorted. What was all this for? For him, you mean? That wouldn't be helping Matt either when it came down to it. He should never have dragged Matt into this whole thing, it had been a fool thing to do. He'd been putting him in danger for years and it could have cost him everything, even his life. But maybe Matt would also have done it altogether anyway without him. At the end of the day, his partner was no longer a saint and was one of Wammy's children, just like him. One of the chosen ones. L's potential successors. Doomed to wait for someone else to die to do the right thing. It was morbid.

Maybe that's why he had taken this path, to be able to take matters into his own hands?

These thoughts got him nowhere. Whatever had once happened in Wammy's, right now he alone posed that main threat to Matt that included all others and would eventually kill him.
Because this idiot trusted him. And he trusted this idiot.

Ah, there it was again. That one sickening sensation.

Mello's stomach contracted convulsively and he felt gushing shivers rush through him. He struggled to choke back the acid in his throat. There was no use denying that Matt was someone he actualy really cared about and that he meant more to him than he would ever admit to anyone.

Not even to Matt.

It was this one thing he would take into the grave with him.

He heard the clack of the bathroom door and Matt stepping into the bedroom in his underwear only a few moments later. The dark towel around his neck greedily absorbed the tiny drops of water that came off his sporadically rubbed-dry hair. Not an uninteresting sight, especially since he knew he could be having everything he was viewing. And yet, looking at Matt from the sideways as he did, he couldn't help but notice the paleness on the gamer's features. And with each passing second, it became clearer to him that something was off. Matt was avoiding him.
Only at second glance did he see that Matt had something provisionally wrapped around his arm.

"What's that?" Mello attempted to sound calm and composed. Mentally, he scolded himself for not seeing it right away. Though on the other hand, he figured Matt had deliberately tried to distract him with his demeanor. He tried to catch a glimpse of his partner's averted side but couldn't identify anything with certainty.

The gamer only shrugged his shoulders boredly and said, relaxed as ever, "Got hit by a bullet. No big deal."

Mello's jaw dropped. He got what?!

Besides, he didn't believe one word Matt said. It most likely wasn't no big deal by any means. He'd known Matt too long not to see through his evasive behavior straight away, so he could play it down however casually. And now that Matt had turned slightly, he could also see it better. And he saw from a distance that the blood had already seeped through all layers of the fabric.
But even before he could say a word, he felt his stomach tighten in a spasm, as if a fist had been rammed into his body. Ere he could grasp a clear thought, his body had decided on its own and as if remote-controlled briskly shoved past Matt to the bathroom.

"What’s the ma-" started Matt a little perplexed, but stopped when he heard a choking sound, "...ou."

Not sure whether he shouldn't better leave him alone for a minute or more, he followed Mello into the bathroom. Keeping a little distance, he stopped behind his partner and peered down at him cautiously.

"You're not feeling so good, huh?"

You’ve got some nerve! Mello threw an angry glance over his shoulder and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. The fact that Matt, of all people, was asking him that now! If he wasn't doing so well?! No, but damn it, he hadn't been riddled with a bullet! Matt could at least pretend to seriously care about himself for even a split fucking second. He had already felt sick when he recalled that he could be the one to bring Matt to death - a grave he had even dug with his very own hands. The fact that Matt showed up in front of him not even a fraction of an instant later with a dripping gunshot wound was the final straw. Furiously he glared at his partner. Not only Matt, but the whole situation made him mad. However, he would have to postpone his answer to Matt as he couldn't suppress another choke. Damn, he usually wasn't this pathetic. 

Normally, it was him who kept a level head and would listen to his partner's concerns, which he would then brush aside. He knew what he was doing. But now... damn it.

"Maybe you should lie down.... On the sofa, I mean." He'd better not suggest the bed to him after such a start into the day. Matt was not quite sure how to handle the overall situation and watched Mello helplessly from afar. He had to admit that he felt a little swamped. What had gotten Mello so upset? He was usually the tough one and to give the orders.

He didn't even wait for Mello's reaction but set off in search of the last bitsy bit of chocolate there was left. Maybe that would ease Mello's mind a little.

__x__

Not long after, Matt had carefully settled down next to Mello on the sofa trying to look as natural and unharmed as possible. Out of the corner of his eye he could observe how Mello's teeth slowly buried themselves in the chocolate, his gaze, no, his entire countenance had taken on the typical coolness and lack of emotion again. It indeed eased his mind, but he did not quite trust the peace. The mood between them was tense and he imagined a volcano bubbling inside of Mello, ready to erupt at any time.
After he had had some spare time to think it over, he guessed the reason for Mello's mood. Of all the possible and also the actually-not-quite-impossible things, only a handful of them could ultimately be considered to be the cause. And when he looked at the setting that had developed since Mello's arrival – well, in fact, for a good long time now - there was only one possible reason for Mello's behavior.

It could have been heartwarming, touching, and all that if it just hadn’t had this awesomely fucked up potential to break their necks even sooner. But there was no need to tell Mello that; he knew it himself. When this realization had hit him like a punch in the face, he had shut himself off for days with only his computer and then continuously challenged himself, constantly testing and questioning his intellect. He had ceaselessly hacked into the systems of governments, global players, and other underground organizations. He had not even stopped at Near.
And all that just to prove to himself that his mind was still as sharp as it was before this one crappy realization.

Retrospectively, this actually was the ultimate evidence that he definitely lacked common sense. Mello must never know of this. Not. A. Thing. But since the chocolate junkie hadn't found out about it until now, his chances were pretty good.

Matt sighed silently. He didn't know what was bothering him more, the gunshot wound or this weird atmosphere between Mello and him. The room was dead still; there was not the slightest sound that would have broken this omnipresent silence. Neither of them said anything, very much as they had just a few hours ago after their window had shattered in a shrill clatter and these damn cartridges had eternalized themselves in dull thuds in their apartment.
And though it was the same silence now, it was still different. The little hairs on the back of his neck rose; he didn't like any of this at all. This silence practically screamed in his face that something was not right. At the same time, it was nothing unusual that they had nothing to talk about, nothing new to tell one another. They had grown up in the same orphanage and had been partners for years; they simply knew what the other was up to. And then, of course, there were those things they weren't supposed to talk about.

But this right now was not normal.

Would this go on all day now? Would they sit rigidly next to each other on the old couch for the rest of the day, looking straight ahead and waiting for something to change?

Just the thought of it gave him a jittery tingling sensation under his skin.

Even before this idea could gain a foothold in his mind, he got back on his feet in one swift move, grabbed his backpack, and headed straight for the front door. Ere he reached out his hand for the door handle, however, he patted down his pants pocket for his keys and lighter, and fished a pack of cigarettes from his backpack.

"Be right back."

"What are you up to?", Mello turned over the back of the sofa to face his partner.

"I'm gonna get groceries."

"The hell you are." It was no more than a statement, calm and collected. And yet it had not missed its effect.

Matt stopped and gritted his teeth, swallowing. He was struggling with himself. He didn't want to argue with Mello, but he didn't want to be second-guessed in his decisions either. Then, "We've got to tape the damn window shut with something."

"You're not going anywhere." Mello's tone, while relaxed and calm, was above all definite. He would not tolerate any resistance.

Matt, however, was in neither the mood for discussion nor patronization. He just wanted to get this day over with and find something to take his mind off his arm. He sensed how the wound was wearing on his nerves, so he really didn't need an argument with Mello.

"You of all people don’t get to tell me that," he said, turning toward the door. "All right, I'll see you in a minute."

"I said you're not going anywhere!" Mello's dangerous growl spoke a plain language. And Matt knew his partner was as much in the mood for a joke as he was. Not. He was annoyed, yet he really didn't want to argue. Not with Mello, it wasn't worth it.

"You can come if you want."

"Matt."

"Mello." Again he paused and took a deep breath before turning to face his partner. "I'm not going to get locked up in an apartment just because you brought us a couple of trigger-happy losers."

"This thing was only a few hours ago and it's not settled by any means. Don't act like you're stupid."

"Anyone who is willing to shoot should be prepared to be shot, Mello."

"But you didn't shoot."

"But you did. And I happen to be your partner." He brought a cigarette to his lips as he pulled the lighter out of his pants pocket.

"Pf. Ridiculous. Are you going to burden yourself with the sins of others now, too?"

"How many of your victims did I ultimately lead you to?" He could see on Mello's features that he had scored. He was the hacker - the one who found them all. And if he had to, he would take Mello personally to his - their - mission destination. "That said, I don't think you'll be able to handle all those dead bodies in your basement by yourself."

And again all was quiet, with their eyes clashing ruthlessly and silently fencing out a match that neither of them wanted to lose. The tension between them was palpable and Matt had to remind himself once more that he didn't want to fight. And actually, Mello didn't want that either, Matt had very well recognized the underlying concern behind all of this.

"I can still hide indoors from disasters when I'm old," he took a deep puff of the glowing tobacco and let the smoke flood his lungs. As he exhaled it again, he added to his statement in an almost incidental manner with a shrug, "Should I grow old, that is."

Mello felt like he'd been stabbed in the chest and he couldn't tell if that hadn't even been exactly Matt's intention. After all, his partner could be a true asshole when he wanted to.
And this usually so peace-loving and serene being seemed anything but balanced at the moment. Mello got more and more the impression that Matt was trying his hardest to keep his composure, his voice forced calm.

And to hell with it, Mello couldn’t care less.

If Mello wanted something, he got it - Matt was no exception. He bit off another chunk of chocolate as he rose and made his way toward Matt. He would be taking Matt’s counters, but he had no intention of letting the gamer have his way.

"I don't care. You stay."

Mello watched Matt sliding the backpack off his shoulder and stopped just in front of the gamer. Matt didn't look at him, just took another drag of his cigarette before his fingers wrapped around it and led it from his lips.

There it was again.

A dismissive, amused sound left Mello's lips. What a stubborn bastard! How dumb did he think he was? That man did everything against his custom, starting with the hand he normally held his smoke in. All the gamer's movements were aimed at not lifting his injured arm - it was pathetic.

Mello waited for his partner's next move. By no means had he understood the dropping of the backpack as surrender; he knew him too well for that. It cracked softly as he broke off another bit of chocolate with his teeth. Frustrated, he looked at the dwindling bar in his hand; it was the last he had.

Matt placed the glowing remedy of his addiction in the hand of his wounded arm and took advantage of the brief moment when Mello's attention drifted away from him. His now free hand sped forward, grabbed Mello by his collar, and pulled him harshly to him. In the very same instant, he thrust his mouth violently at Mello's, kissing him firmly and pressing himself against him. He began to move his lips against his partner's demandingly and as they opened slightly he took the chance to penetrate the warm mouth with his moist tongue. Rather than soft, their kiss reflected their two fronts clashing onto each other.

Mello tasted the flavor of cold smoke mingling with the sweet chocolaty aroma, leaving a combination that was all too familiar to him by now. At first, it had bothered him to taste Matt's cigarettes on his tongue, but over time it was that very mixture that signaled him to be home. He granted Matt his lead, enjoying this little game too much for it to end. But that's all it was. A game. And Matt wasn't going to win it.

Still holding him tightly by the collar, Matt released the kiss and mere millimeters kept their faces apart. "Thank you for caring so much. Very sweet of you." A malicious smirk played around his features. Mello's eyes were boring into him and he could see the animalistic flash in the dark irises as he breathed the words against Mello's lips.

"I'll bring you some chocolate, too," He said, loosening his grip and stepping away slightly.

Mello could watch Matt's grin turn into a playful, casual smile. He knew this was something the gamer was solely letting him see. But he had also spotted the light film of sweat on Matt's forehead that had finally betrayed his companion and sealed his fate. The corners of Mello’s mouth twisted into a sadistic grin.

"Game Over, Matt."

Matt straightened up and looked at Mello with big questioning eyes. But in the very same moment he sharply sucked in his breath and just barely managed to suppress a loud yelp; his face was contorted into a grimace of pain.
Mello was quick as a flash to grab him by the arm and place his thumb directly on the entry wound, not an ounce of pity in his expressions. Matt had had his chance, several in fact. It had been quite convenient for him that Matt had narrowed the distance between them voluntarily. Thus, the gamer had less room to back away from him, if he had even seen it coming. His partner had thought it too easy and now he had to learn that he, Mello, should in no way be underestimated. Not ever.
Mello watched the cigarette roll at his feet as his partner dropped it in startlement, but most of all in pain. He stomped it out as he tightened his grip and his fingers dug deeper into Matt's arm.  

"Fuck! Damn it, don't do that!", Matt practically yelled at him. But Mello remained unimpressed.

"Learn to take care of yourself first before you try to do that to others." He strode out of the hallway, moving back further inside the apartment. Dragging Matt carelessly behind him as he did so. He knew that Matt just couldn’t oppose to it at all if he didn't want to increase his own suffering immeasurably.

"Mello, damn it! Fuck off! That hurts!" Slowly Mello raised an eyebrow, it rarely happened that the gamer got loud and swore. The resentment in the deep voice didn't escape him either.

But it didn't bother him. On the contrary, it rather encouraged him in what he was doing. 

However, he very gladly fulfilled Matt's bidding and pulled him past him with a sweeping motion, causing the gamer to stumble forward and land ungently on the couch. Mello watched as his partner slumped against the back of the seat, sucked in a sharp breath, and held his arm with a pained face. Matt swallowed hard, seeming to have lost all desire to curse or engage in any sort of discussion.

Oh good, that's exactly what he was going for. There was no way this idiot was going on the loose out there like this. He was desperate to get out of the apartment and then what? Strolling bloodily through the brightly lit corridors of a konbini and attracting the attention of Devil knows whom?
In the best case, he would have unnecessarily caused a stir, in the worst case - and this fear had gnawed deep into Mello's core - he would have collapsed in an alleyway on the way.
Some people had to be forced to be happy, it seemed, and Matt by mere violence if it had to be.

"Now, you need a decent bandage to begin with."

__x__

Thank you for reading.