Chapter Text
Yasutomo was full aware that he likes cross-dressing.
Of course, no one else from his family or his circle of friends knew besides him because it was obvious that people would think that it’s weird. He was the Wolf of Hakone, a beast that people fear whether it’s racing on the road or just walking off the streets. People didn’t want anything to do with him because of his rough behavior and ever-present scowl that seemed to have been etched on his face for eternity. He was used to this and he couldn’t care less. It was the personality he has built throughout the years; a wall in which he was safe on the other side where no one could see the real him. Worrying isn’t much of a problem anymore, because he has succeeded in making people weary of him.
He hated to admit it at first but having companions that are from the same environment as him is refreshing. Fuku-chan had been the tool to turn his world upside down; changing his point of view in a lot of things may it be a difficult situation or way to turn reality on its back. If it weren’t for him, he would probably still be a moping delinquent with a wasted future in front of him. If it weren’t for him, he wouldn’t probably be as close to Hayato, Jinpachi and the rest of the road racing club members. It took time to finally open up to them, despite the fact that he still kept his vicious nature.
It’s just that none of them knew or had any idea that he likes dresses and skirts.
Whose fault is it again?
Ahh, yes. His two, younger sisters.
Yumi and Hana are also the reason why the way he talks is really impolite and rude. If only they had been real angels like what their grandparents had endlessly claim them to be, he could have saved himself from dealing with their constant cat fights. And he would have saved himself from liking something like this now.
Years ago, Yumi and Hana were playing Disney Princess attending a school where they were taught manners and such things that royalty has to know before they can wear a crown and the take the responsibility of ruling a country. No matter how you looked at it, he couldn’t understand why Belle must be with Aurora (who is Yumi) and Cinderella (who is Hana). Both girls understood long ago that their brother was way out of their choice for being a playmate, but that day, they were really persistent. Hana was pestering him by using her ultimate weapon that works all the time; her tears and her endless wails. Yumi was a no better sister than their youngest for it was her idea to drag him into their fantasy anyway. To make everything worst for Yasutomo, she involved their mother with her tenacity to ask him to come and play with them.
On that day when they were supposed to argue with each other, they joined forces to make Yasutomo wear a pretty, yellow dress that was a little too big for his skinny body. It was the tragic day of his childhood life, but not entirely in a sense that he’d curse it for all eternity and it was ironic. As a matter of fact, he’s surprised by how soft the fabric of the dress was when he wore it. At first, it was itchy but the way the skirt practically set his legs free swept the irritation away. He could still remember how cool and refreshing it was to his ass and legs whenever he walks or sits. Since he was a boy with no such care for his posture, he earned a lot of slaps on the thighs when he sat with legs wide open or when he rests his arms on his knees
“Belle doesn’t do that!” Hana tried to look stern but quickly retreated when Yasutomo frowned at her.
“I ain’t Belle anyway and this is just playtime so?”
Yumi stood in between. “You’re going to ruin Belle’s image on her! I’m telling mom that you’re traumatizing us.”
“Don’t you care that you’re traumatizing me?” Yasutomo fought back, hitting the table with his fist, causing the two to jump back. “Don’t go asking for one thing after another!”
In the end, the two girls have decided to continue playing even though their big brother had been less cooperative with words and actions. When playtime was over, Yumi and Hana gave their brother privacy to change back to his clothes by leaving the room, telling him to not make them wait for long. Yasutomo may have quickly removed the dress but that doesn’t mean he was being careless. In fact, he folded it neatly before setting it some place he couldn’t give a damn about. He stomped on his way outside, giving his sister one last growl before retreating back to his room with a hurried pace.
There are some things that you can never change no matter how many years have layered one single scenario in your life and this was one of them. At some point in his high school life, Yumi had asked Yasutomo if he could model for her since she would like to give a dress for a friend on her fifteenth birthday the last time he went home for the holidays.
“Why the hell would you ask me instead of Hana, huh?” He spat, as he thought his sister knew that he's a boy and the most obvious thing in the world. I thought we settled long ago that I’d only do it once?
“Because Hana has gained more fats than you!” Yumi countered, her hands suddenly found their placed on either side of her hips. If there was one thing that Yasutomo hated about genes, it’s that whenever she puts a scowl on her face, he could almost see himself. Sometimes, it was challenging to see how far his sister can go with him without storming out of the room screaming and on the verge of tears out of irritation. “And besides, you have the same built as Shiori-chan.”
“Does that supposed to mean that your friend has a body of a man who’s a cyclist? Are you even sure she’s a female?”
“Excuse me, but I mean to say is that you’re lean and skinny if you haven’t noticed after all these years.”
He knew that for a fact. What can he do? No matter how big amounts of food he eats and work out, his metabolism seem to be contented in burning fats so much that his body doesn’t grow large muscles like the people from his team. At least he knows that one does not need a lot of muscles when it comes to cycling. He’s an all-rounder, and having this built was an advantage for him and for his team since he can pull for the sprinters who are weak on climbs. Some people cannot understand this logic, especially when it was his sister who hasn’t shown interest in any sports at all
“No, I am not going to be your model. Not now, not ever!”
“It won’t take long, I promise!”
“I said no! And I thought mom has bought you that mannequin you kept on bugging her about?”
Since Yumi had taken interest in designing clothes before she even entered middle school, her room is always full of sewing materials. It was only recently when she has almost spent her allowance buying a lot of fabrics and testing a lot of things that Yasutomo would never grow interest of glancing at ever. Hana almost had the same interest like her, it’s just that Hana has shown interest in taking medicine when she goes to college. Yumi couldn’t always ask her sister to model for her since they don’t hang out much anymore.
“It hasn’t arrived yet.”
“What?” You bought online when you can just buy somewhere here?”
“Look, you don’t understand, okay? Just let me—“
“No, and that’s final! It’s not my problem why you suddenly wanna sew for your friend when you haven’t received that mannequin yet. Go away!”
“You’re so lame! You know nothing about art.”
“How the hell did art came into this conversation?”
“Clothes. Designs. Duh!”
“Hey, mind you, I know something about art. Like for example, your face, it’s an abstract. No matter how hard I look, I just can’t understand--”
A magazine flew somewhere from Yumi’s direction to Yasutomo’s face. Thanks to his years of training and being athletic, his reflex has saved him when he was able to catch the flying object mid-air. He couldn’t stop the tiny smirk he felt creeping from the corner of his lips. Fuck yeah. I’m such an asshole. “Those hands are meant to destroy!”
“Then I will make the art of destruction which I will use to destroy your face!”
The angry girl slammed his door closed, heavy footsteps haunting their hallway. Either she must be sulking inside her own territory, or she has invaded Hana’s personal space. Yasutomo couldn’t bring himself to care, because that’s just how much of an ass he is.
Although he had to admit, the thought of wearing the dress had crossed his mind for a split second. It’s been years since he last wore that yellow dress that belonged to Hana, yet he could still remember how fresh his ass and inner thighs felt. He had to admit that it was so comfortable that he wouldn’t mind wearing them for a day, minus the itchy top it has been sewed with.
Yasutomo sighed. He opened the magazine that has now been a part of his space, thinking that there must be something interesting to read rather than staring at the instruction of his homework. The magazine must have been a gift that the heavens had sent him.
It turns out that the magazine was a photo book of some famous male cosplayer who wore a lot of costumes from various animes, including games, including female costumes. The guy had a pretty face in the first place, so everything he wore practically suit him. Before the raven-haired boy could even look further into the magazine, his phone beeped, telling him that someone had sent a message through LINE.
'Yasutomo! Kaoru has agreed to have a date after the holidays.'
'Oh? That’s great, man. Where do you plan on taking her first?'
Hayato had a crush on that girl who was a year younger than them. She may be a kouhai, but she has been active in participating in a lot of club activities, resulting to her popularity at school. Maybe if it weren’t for that, Hayato wouldn’t notice her at all, considering the fact that she doesn’t look like his type in his opinion. But what does he really know about his friend? To his surprise, Hayato had admitted that he found the girl attractive one day when they were taking a break from practice. It was just an admiration at first, which led to a crush and to something more maybe. Who would have thought?
Maybe Kaoru wasn’t really Yasutomo’s type. Yeah, she had a pretty face and a sexy body, he bet she even smelled good all the time, but there was something with Kaoru that Yasutomo couldn’t get a grip on at first. He sniffed that the girl was the bossy and demanding type when she saw her one time outside of school, giving orders to everyone with a tone of voice that his sister used against him whenever they were arguing.
Being the good friend that he was, he told Hayato, who seemed to not be bothered even in the slightest. Sometimes, he wanted to punch their sprinter’s face because he was pissed at how he can just laugh at things to shrug them off. Kaoru won’t do Hayato good. That girl may have passable boobs and a body to die for, but hell, what does he see in her? He’s a senior, soon to graduate and continue his life in some place far from Hakone so he couldn’t see the reason why he should be sticking to a chick who has another year before she can follow him.
Why was he even frustrated when Hayato had told them that he was planning to ask her out before the holidays?
It felt like some idiot who wanted to end their lives quickly poured him a bucket of cold water when his unconscious mind spoke to him, telling him that he’s attracted to this man.
Attracted? Such a mild word but it had Yasutomo’s blood boiling. I’m not fucking gay!
He’s not. He had a crush on girls during his elementary days, dated and had a girlfriend. It’s just it shocked him to the fullest when he realized that he has been staring at Hayato for too long. What were these kind of people called? Bi. Maybe I’m bi-curious or whatever.
The internal battle he had versus himself was one of the toughest struggles in his life. Eventually, he was starting to accept the fact that he was indeed attracted to the red head. Eventually, he let the fact that he wanted to hear the man’s laughter process. Eventually, he let the desire to think about how it would feel like to touch those thick lips would make him feel.
Yasutomo was not a weak man—no, his cycling career is a proof that he’s strong enough to grow even stronger, if that ever made any sense. There are things that you can change— like reality, no matter how hard it was to do that. However, sometimes, things just don’t go the way like what you want them to be. There are things that you may find hard to alter or never at all, and one of them is a person’s feelings. One can choose not to talk about what they feel, but that does not mean that they won’t feel it. It will always be inside them, until it passes away or remain there, left unsaid.
He always knew that he was an honest man with a tongue like a dagger. Despite that, Yasutomo is smart and kind enough not to voice out these thoughts and opinions to someone who has not asked for, nor will he say anything that he doesn’t want to. That’s just how he is.
He decided to endure and keep this to himself. He decided to let his friend do whatever the hell he wants because it’s his life. Because Hayato was straight and dating girls are normal. Because he has never really talked to anyone about this before.
Hayato: Hmm, I don’t really have any idea yet. Do you have any place in mind?
Yasutomo: Uhh, I don’t know. Do you know what she likes? Maybe you can ask about what she likes and then make that as a basis or something.
Hayato: Okay. I’ll try digging for that. Thanks, Yasutomo!
He threw his phone somewhere he couldn’t look at that guy’s name for more than a minute. It may sound really cheesy to say this out loud, but he feels down to review their conversation about that chick he doesn’t approve of.
How long can you keep this up?
Standing up and grabbing the photobook that has been sitting in his room for no more than 20 minutes, Yasutomo made his way to the door with the intention of returning the book to his sister.
Until graduation.
***
“You know, from time to time, I think Hayato is having difficulty with handling Kaoru.”
“Hah? What do you mean?”
Yasutomo could hear shuffling noises from the other line, probably Jinpachi was reaching for something or doing whatever. “Well, don’t you think so too? I mean, yeah, Hayato almost has the patience of the saint among all of us, but I can feel that he’s really been stressed out lately.”
“Maybe it’s just because of too much school work and practice, sleeping beauty.”
“Huh. You think so?”
“Yeah, you’re the one who’s stressing too much about it.”
“The last time I remember seeing him looking so refreshed is after graduation. After you guys moved out to dorms and apartments, all I can depend on to know how you’ve been doing are your voices.”
It’s true. The last time he ever saw Hayato’s usual, carefree smile was after graduation, when they all met up to congratulate one another, promising a farewell party before they went on their own ways. On the day of their farewell party, Hayato has been looking worried, if not confused. His smile was strained, and Yasutomo knew that something was up. Nobody may have said anything, not even Fuku or Jinpachi, but the three of them knew.
“You are such a mother hen.”
“Shut up! I’m just worried about my friends and their well-being.”
“You didn't even deny it," Yasutomo grinned. "Before you talk about other people’s relationships, why don’t you handle yours first with Sohoku’s climber?”
“Oh, now that you’ve mentioned it, I told him that I’d call him today. Since he’s more important than you are, I’m hanging up on you to check up on him.”
“As if I care. Go away, you’re bothering me.”
“Arakita, you’re still as mean as ever.”
“Heh. Bye.”
The day when they finally moved to their own apartment and dormitories near to their own universities, everyone has been keeping in touch, most especially Jinpachi. It was keeping Yasutomo company even though there are times when he just want to turn off his phone and continue working on his homework. It was a pleasant feeling to have your high school friends still close to you, no matter how far the distance is. He has new friends in the university, like Kinjou and Machimiya, but talking to people he knew for three years was different.
It doesn’t really suit in Yasutomo’s character to be the first one to approach a person and initiate a conversation, but there are exceptions. He wanted to kill himself for having a special place in his heart for this stupid bunny lover. He did reassure himself that these unwanted and unrequited feelings would go away as long as he didn’t see him nor talk to him in person. The distance would discourage his feelings, that's what he told himself.
You’re almost in your third year in college yet you still feel the same way, dumbass.
So he browsed into his contact list to find a name that he was looking for. Before he could stop himself, he pressed call. It took about five rings before his heart almost jumped out of his mouth when he heard a click.
“Yo,” he started before his voice dries away completely.
“Hey,” came from the other line. If Yasutomo could allow himself to dream, he would say that Hayato’s voice sounded tired but pleased. Pleased that I called? Dream on.
Maybe Jinpachi has secretly blessed him with voice reading skills for a short period of time.
“Hey, man. How are you?”
“I’m—“ a clutter of pencils on a desk. “I’m good! I’ve just finished homework for tonight and currently cleaning up.” Oh Yasutomo could tell, based on the tiny noises he could hear. “What about you? How have you been holding up?”
Yasutomo flopped himself on his bed, burying his face on his pillow before answering, “M’fine. Tired as hell but still breathing in the air of this dusty room.”
A chuckle before hearing a squeaking sound. He's probably put his stuff away and has retreated to his bed, judging from the way he exhales. "You should ask your sister how to keep rooms tidy."
"No, thank you. I'd rather die chocking on dirty air rather than asking her for something."
"Typical sibling arguments, huh?"
"I sometimes wonder why she's cheeky and clever. And annoying."
"Hey, I'll bet she's a hot chick right now."
"You don't know what you're saying. As a matter of fact, I received a voicemail from Onoda-chan telling me about his new pet which happens to be a chick. Dang, I kept on hearing its chirping from the background. I don't have anything against chicks but if that chick doesn't stop, then I might."
Another chuckle, it's just that it's deeper this time. If Yasutomo isn't careful, he's sure that the blush must have crept everywhere from his body. He had a guess that soon Hayato would be falling asleep due to exhaustion so he had to let him go before he does.
"I suddenly miss Usakichi."
"Oh, please, don't start with your bunny..."
"I'll trouble you with my sudden homesickness one day. Maybe the next time we see each other."
Okay. "Hmm. And I'll be sure to stuck energy bars into your mouth to keep you from doing so."
He heard his grin. "It's great to talk to you again, Yasutomo." A sigh. "When are you free?"
A pause. "Saturday."
"Alright. Can we meet up? I'll invite Juichi and Jinpachi too since I think I need old companies."
"Yeah, sure."
"Good night."
"G'night."
It’s great talking to you too again.
Saturday and Tuesday were the days he could take it easy since he had class for four hours and didn’t need to go to work. It was tiring to work after class and then come back home to do homework, but that leaves him two days where he could totally slack off. Spending one day with friends during one of his special slack off day was something that he could sacrifice, most especially when he thinks about a certain dumb man with thick lips and pretty, droopy eyes. He wondered how Fuku-chan is, and if he looked different. Jinpachi, on the other hand, he already knew what he looked like because sometimes, when they text, he sends selfies of him with a caption that’s always something good about him.
It was a tiring day after a lot of papers he had to finish and submit, but as much as his body wanted sleep, his brain couldn’t stop functioning and his heart was giving these funny feelings to his chest. He kept on scolding himself for feeling excited and nervous at the same time whenever he thinks about Saturday.
I thought I told myself that I’d get over him eventually? It’s just a stupid crush.
A stupid crush that makes him go crazy. Before he could almost scream out his frustration and maybe bother his neighbors, he decided to pick an option in which really helped him to relax and fall asleep. He didn’t care anymore; he just wanted to get some sleep because he’s going to have a long day tomorrow and he hasn’t touched himself for two days now, so this is okay. This is good.
He lay flat on his back, pushing his boxers down to his ankles before grabbing himself with one hand. There was a voice that told him he was foolish to give himself false hope, thinking about that man with wavy hair near his face, breathing heavily as he stroked his hard member. Yasutomo hissed as his thumb swiped the head of his arousal, giving enough pumps to have his pre-cum leaking. He licked his lips, closed his eyes and surrendered to his desire to think about Hayato while jacking off. In each pump, he could see Hayato’s big hands instead of his own. In every hitch of his breath, he could hear Hayato’s gasps and moans. In each sudden pleasure that surged inside him, he could imagine feeling Hayato shiver with him, looking at him with eyes drunken with lust and face contorting with bliss.
With his free hand, the one gripping the sheets, he cupped his balls repeatedly as he set his pace faster, biting his lower lip to stop the noise that was about to slip from his mouth. His whole body was hot, his toes curling as he climbed higher and higher to his climax. Thinking of Hayato watching him as he bit harder, stroked faster, desperate for his release only made him more sensitive so he wasn’t surprised when he let out a helpless whimper as he came.
“I am so fucked,” he whispered to himself.
And he wasn’t talking about his post orgasm.
***
Saturday came. The boys agreed to meet in a bar that’s near Meisou since Juichi had to finish a project when he gets home. It was good to see the old gang again, that’s what everybody was feeling. Juichi and Hayato did picked the same university to attend to and are both active with their bicycle club just like during their middle and high school days but according to him, they don’t really see each other often outside of practice. College is getting tougher and tougher throughout the years anyway.
Yasutomo had fun, despite the nervous feeling that’s buried deep in his stomach. He was tolerant against alcohol, but he knew he shouldn’t consume much for a lot of reasons; one of them is because he might accidentally let his feelings slip. No matter how careful a person is, when intoxicated, you can never know what he might do or what can happen. The beast couldn’t risk that, no.
They talked about a lot of stuff that boys always talk about whenever they are with their own circle of friends. None of them felt embarrassed to admit something or let out an opinion about a certain situation.
“Arakita, do you and Kinjou talk a lot?” It was Jinpachi.
“Yeah? During practice or whenever we bump into each other in the library.”
“Just like me and Juichi.” Hayato.
“I can understand that,” Juichi smiled a little before taking the last of his second beer. He informed the guys that he won’t be drinking more than two bottles since he needed to return as soon as possible.
“Oh, speaking of Sohoku’s captain,” Hayato adjusted turned to Jinpachi. “How are you and Yusuke-kun?”
Jinpachi smiled wide, eyes twinkling more than they already do. “We’re good. I usually call him every week and still send him a lot of e-mails. He hasn’t stopped cycling in England!”
“Do you plan on following him there, sleeping beauty?”
“As a matter of fact, I do plan on that, Arakita. But maybe I’ll just wait for the time he comes back here so that we could race again. I’ll focus on becoming stronger to beat him!”
“But you miss him. It’s written all over your face, dumbass.”
“I—“ Jinpachi swallowed, ducked his head for a few seconds and smiled slowly. “Yeah.”
The three of them knew that he and Yusuke were already a couple to begin with. Nobody said it out loud at first, but eventually, they told their teammates before the inter-high back in high school. Despite the relationship as boyfriends, both of them did their best when it came to competing with each other. Both of them had done their jobs without any second thought. Both are professionals when it came to separating personal things to road racing.
Jinpachi and Yusuke were great people and everyone wished the best for them.
A few more comments here and there before Fukutomi had excused himself, giving all of his friends a pat on the shoulder as he bid them good bye. Jinpachi stayed for a few more drinks before he said good bye himself, reminding Yasutomo and Hayato that they better not drink too much, especially their wolf because he still had to get back to his apartment.
“Do you have anything to do tomorrow? I hope I’m not asking you for too much if I ask you to please stay with me until I finish this one last bottle.”
“My class starts at 8 and I have shift at work tomorrow, but it won’t hurt to drink one bottle,” Yasutomo responded, his words weren’t slurred like Hayato. He knew that he had to keep his friend company since he was such a lightweight. “Let’s get out of here before eleven, yeah?”
“Yeah,” the other man answered. He brushed off his bangs from his face, leaning a little close to Yasutomo after taking a short swig of his beer. “Can I talk to you about Kaoru?”
Hayato may be smiling, but it didn’t reach his eyes that were somehow getting dull. It was either from the alcohol or he was feeling down. Yasutomo decided it was the latter. “Sure.”
“Do you remember when you told me about how you didn’t like her because you saw her being bossy and demanding?”
“Yeah?”
“I… proved that you’re right. A long time ago.”
“Hmm.”
“And I’m really having a hard time dealing with her right now.”
It looks like it. “Heh, I told you so.” Yasutomo didn’t mean to sound accusatory, and to indicate that he was being playful, he nudged on Hayato’s elbow with his, putting a small smile before hiding it with his bottle of beer. One last drink and it’s all gone, but a glance from Hayato’s drink told him that he should hold one until he’s the first one to finish it. “What happened?”
The sprinter didn’t seem to be offended. He seldom does get offended anyway because that’s just how good natured he was. He played with his bottle, watching his hands do the action before speaking, “A lot of things actually. At first, it was really fun, you know? Everything felt like they fell into the right place. I think I may have known that I won’t like being with her so much but I told myself that it wouldn’t hurt to try dating someone who’s kind of…. Not your type.”
Yasutomo’s jaw dropped. “What? You know that she’s not your type?”
“Yeah, I had a hunch that she’s not gentle and caring a hundred percent like what I like about girls.”
“Woah, so you actually experimented with someone who is the opposite of what you really like?”
“Not exactly,” he chuckled. “I thought that girls are always demanding in a relationship? I think it’s pretty normal, because it’s cute in a way. Don’t you agree?”
“Tell me that again when I get a girlfriend and not a sister, okay?”
“Oh? It doesn’t go the same with siblings?”
“In my case, no. Hell no.”
“Is that so?” Hayato shook his head, amused with the conversation he’s having with his friend. He downed a large amount of his beer, leaving enough liquid to savor later.
“Hey, man. You did the right thing, you know. You can’t always find the person who will always meet your standards. Yeah, there might be characteristics similar or close enough to what you have in mind, but the things that don’t hit are like somewhat… awesome too, in a way. It’s a challenge.”
“I know, I know. But sometimes… I’m just too tired for this. I shouldn’t be saying something so ill of her, but she’s… selfish. At least that’s what I am starting to see. She wants this, she wants that. I do my best to give it to her because it’s my responsibility as a boyfriend, but real life issues, you know? I told her she should understand that because she’s in a university now.”
“You give it to her because it’s your responsibility as a boyfriend…”
“Hmm.”
“Do you even give her time because you want to, because you feel something for her and not just because you’re a thing?”
“Yeah, I do. Although sometimes, I just feel like giving up. It feels like I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Hayato,” Yasutomo straightened his back to stretch before resting his forearms on the table, letting go of his beer to let it sit in front of him. “This is an advice from one friend to another. If things really don’t go pretty well for the both of you for so long, you should let it go.”
The words seem to claw itself into Hayato’s brain, waiting for it to be sucked in and be processed. “Let it go…”
Yasutomo wasn’t being an ass here. He knew that he holds feelings for this man, seeing him like this was something that he couldn’t stand. His advice wasn’t because of his selfish desire to be able to try a thing with his friend, no. He was still in his right mind even though his body was swimming with intoxicant. He knew the words that he said. Hell, he could even go home and function properly the next morning if he chose to. This was an advice coming from someone who’s smart, honest and perceptive.
“Okay, how about like this: Give it just one last try. Last one. Maybe you can turn reality on its head. Or on another sense, bring your chick’s fucking brain from her ass back to her fucking head, tch.”
Hayato grinned, and it was enough to make Yasutomo stop breathing for a while.
“Yeah, just like that, smile like the big dumb bunny lover you are. It suits you better anyway,” he said the last sentence in a rough, sarcastic way, but both of them knew better.
“Thank you, Yasutomo.”
“I didn’t do shit.”
“You know you did. It was really helpful.”
“Heh. Glad you found me useful for tonight.” Yasutomo decided to drink the last of his beer, licking his lips when he swallowed everything. “You can always talk to me if you need someone to bother with your crazy shits.”
“I will,” the guy beside him assured, drinking the last contents of his beer. “We should go. You have a long day ahead of you.”
“Don’t you?”
“My classes start in the afternoon tomorrow so I got time. I’ll walk you to the station,” Hayato got up, straightened his jacket and wait for Yasutomo to follow him.
“You don’t have to, you know. It feels like we’re just beside each other since I’m just from the next prefecture.”
“Yeah, but still. It’s the least that I can do.”
“Yeah. Whatever. I’m more worried about you since you’re such a lightweight.”
Hayato nudge his shoulder with his own. “Oi, I didn’t drink too much. I didn’t want to trouble you more by passing out.”
“You think I’d carry you back to your dorm?”
“Yasutomo!”
He laughed. “Of course I would."
***
It’s been a few days since their last mini reunion, but Yasutomo could swear that Hayato has been texting him a lot. Not like Jinpachi who’s practically making his contact list his diary, sending everyone what he did that day or what he would do the next day. No one from their team could compete with how much Jinpachi could text. Sometimes, he was thankful that Yusuke was already used to him like that.
Or was he?
Hayato didn’t text him every day, maybe every other day or two days but it was enough to make Yasutomo smile whenever he does, enough to look forward into keeping his phone close to him. The conversation would sometimes drift into something funny that even he would laugh to himself. Yasutomo would ask about his friend’s girlfriend and their status, and he would feel ambiguous whenever he does. Yes, he is worried about his friend’s well-being and yes, he also disapproves that Hayato has eyes only for girls.
He needed to stop being a hypocrite.
As if the heavens knew that he was going to have a rough day tomorrow after that fun texting, teasing and cursing with Hayato.
“Shit,” he muttered to himself, but it didn’t mean that Machimiya didn’t hear it.
“I know you always say that or ‘fuck’, but hey, this one sounds serious.” Machimiya gave his friend a bottle of Bepsi. They’re outside of the university, sitting on a bench that is just beside the vending machine.
“It’s my landlord,” he grumbled. “I have to pay for the rent and half of last month’s since I told him I’d pay for it this month. It slipped my mind, fuck.”
“Wow, that sucks.” Machimiya opened his own bottle of Bepsi, taking a few sips before patting Yasutomo’s shoulder. “I’d let you borrow if I had extra but I’m running pretty low too. I was thinking of looking for another part-time just to continue paying for my fees.”
“You’re just greedy, ‘ya lil shit. But I think I’d do the same if worse came to worse. Even it means I’d have to sacrifice my freedom.”
“You know, you can borrow from Kinjou. I bet he won’t really mind.”
“Fuck, argh!” The raven-haired boy ran both of his hands on his hair and pulled because of his frustration. “There’s Kin-chan too! I borrowed from him last week. Shit.”
“Hmm… try borrowing from your sister?”
“Hell, no. I am not going to ask help from my family, I can stand up on my own!”
“Suit yourself, bro. I’ll give you news if I happen to find some interesting stuff for you.”
“I’d do anything. Anything. Just tell me if you got something to help my ass, alright?”
“Gotcha,” Machimiya looked at his watch and grabbed his bag. “I have to go. See ya at practice later!”
Yasutomo was fucked. He needed cash instantly and he knew that his job at the convenience store wasn’t enough to help him put out of his misery. He was willing to do anything this time, because that’s just how desperate he is. He told himself that he could make it; that he didn’t need to borrow money from anybody because he can stand up on his own, he could prove himself.
He suddenly remembered Fuku-chan and his notorious line.
The wolf smiled to himself as he went to his next class. I’m strong.
***
“HAH?!”
Yasutomo couldn’t help himself to scream out loud in the middle of the street on his way home from work. He was exhausted after starting class so early in the morning, practicing until the evening and working until the end of his shift. He was hungry and sleepy, so he just wanted to get home quickly. Machimiya texted him that a friend from somewhere in Kanagawa prefecture told him that there’s an event in which guys were supposed to cross dress, convincingly make themselves look like female and answer whatever questions that judge have for them. The prize money is large enough to pay his debt, that’s what the text said, ending it with ‘I’ll e-mail you the rest of the details if you tell me you’re interested.’
He huffed, ruffled his hair with his hand as he slipped his phone inside his pocket. Okay, calm down. His heart was pounding in his chest, his brain trying to process what’s the best solution that he can come up with. He knew that he’d rather die than to put on a costume in front of everyone in a contest. If it’s going to be held in Kanagawa, there’s a great possibility that some people might recognize him. No, he couldn’t risk that. His pride wouldn’t let him.
Deep inside, Yasutomo actually felt exhilarated when he thought about what dress he would wear if ever he joined the contest. Does it make any difference if the skirt was too short? Would he be forced to shave some of his body hair if it was really needed? As if I have a lot of body hair to show. Ugh. He could feel a brush creeping from his cheeks down to his neck just thinking about these gory details.
As soon as he got home, he rushed into his bathroom to take a shower, pushing down the heat coursing throughout his body. His mind was like a pool of thoughts right now, a lot of things going on his head and he can’t quite pick out which one to process first. The running water was helping him calm down bit by bit, and he soon could his brain could function properly again.
He had a week in and a half before his debt is due, and he knew that he said he’d do anything to earn some cash. He needed to pay for his rent, Kinjou and some other stuff. He needed this contest. He needed to win.
But exposing yourself in public dressed up as a girl? Hmm. Maybe it was better than selling himself to some people who needed a quick fuck. Maybe it was better than exhausting himself for the remaining days doing labor or manual work in a construction site. Maybe it’s better to give this one a try, and put his effort into it to earn cash. Maybe.
If ever he did join that contest, what the hell would he wear?
The thought only made him cringe.
He finished showering quickly, making his last two resolve with determination. The first thing that he went to hunt down after putting on a shirt and short on is his phone. Who would have thought that he needed help from a devil?
'Hey, you twerp. Are you still awake?'
It’s one in the morning so he wasn’t really expecting an answer yet he wasn’t even surprised that he got a text.
'What do you want?'
That was what Yasutomo only needed before he could press the call button, not even bothering to ask permission. Who needs to be polite with siblings?
“This is new. Whatever you need, I am pretty sure you’re desperate, big brother,” Yumi mocked him on the other line, and he was pretty sure that she was grinning like an idiot she was in her room. He almost regretted that he called her, almost.
Swallowing, he allowed himself to sink in his sheets, deciding to be a little, just a little nice and patient with his sister just this once.
He explained.
After the explanation and debating about borrowing money from mom and dad, Yumi laughed. Yasutomo didn’t know if he could accept the fact that he’s mortified while talking to his sister. He did try his best to sound like his usual self, hiding his embarrassment with layers and layers of rough words and tone.
“Give me your shoes size and measurements. I’ll text you what I need tomorrow. When do you need it?”
“In a week so you better be fast.”
“Wow, says the one who asked for my help. This isn’t free you know.”
He had a feeling that she’ll ask something for return so already prepared himself for it. “Fine. Let me know after I get through this hell.”
Yumi made a tiny noise of glee. “Will do.” She hang up.
Before Yasutomo could make one last call, he groaned. There’s no turning back now. The conversation he had with his sister kind of made him feel like he exposed something that he’s kept for a lot of years. It was scary to think about being able to walk in an open field with a lot of eyes that seem to belong to predators.
You’re only stressing yourself out.
He called Machimiya. That guy is sure to be still awake by this time since he mentioned that there’s a chance of pulling an all-nighter because of a sudden quiz announced very late by their professor.
“I’m trying to be a good student here,” came from Yasutomo’s speaker.
“Looks like it. Listen,” he closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled. “Sign me up for that contest.”