Work Text:
“Can you please stop leaving dead bodies on my doorstep? You’re worse than a cat.” I said, looking down at the black red-eye dog. He gave a small whining sound before disappearing.
“Of course, I have to be the one to clean this uh..mess up..” my words trailed off as I looked down at the bloody mess that was on my doorstep, it seemed as though Pluto brought in a dead bird. I let out a sigh as I walked back into my home for cleaning supplies.
For starters, I should probably explain who I am first. I’m Zappa, age 22, and currently working for a paranormal organization. I have the ‘unique’ ability to be a flesh bag host for many different spirits, also known as spiritualists, channelers, and mediums, I’m all of that. And let me tell you, this ability is not fun. Waking up with injuries, not knowing where you are, and possibly a dead body next to you isn’t my idea of a ‘good time’ for me.
I had a normal life, y’know? I had my mum back in my hometown (I should write to her sometime..), a normal college career path (Well zoology is normal in some ways), and maybe a slight chance at getting a partner (Yeah right) Then all of the sudden I become a sort of ‘vessel’ for these beings (what even are they?) in short, they made my life a living hell.
It wasn’t until getting too close to dying that I tried to communicate, and what ended up happening was living in a fairly small apartment with a bunch of poltergeists, fun.
Needless to say, we’re trying to work things out..it hasn’t been easy, especially for a certain one. Can’t say I can forget and forgive them yet but they’re practically stuck with me.
“Where did I place that spray bottle?..” I mumbled to myself as I searched through my laundry room.
Suddenly I started to feel a presence just right behind me. At first, it was very subtle, enough for me to ignore it. I felt a cold chill run down my spine, then the feeling of hands gripping my shoulders. It was her, it was her, it was her. I slowly turned my head around, from the corner of my eye I could see and feel sense her. I screamed, jumping far back, falling into one of my laundry baskets. I then realized that, of course, it was S-ko.
S-ko was (probably) the first ghost I ever noticed. Which makes sense, she was the one mainly possessing me and the burden of my life. I don’t know anything of her past, other than the grudge she holds. Hatred is a strong word, but for her, I believe it’s more than just hatred that keeps her here.
S-ko and I had a complicated relationship, she saw me as her ‘lover’ while I saw her as a monster, devil, whatever you wanna call this possessive being. It has gotten to the point that we are now on ‘mutual’ terms. But I would be lying if I said it was ‘good’ terms. S-ko hasn’t ever been peaceful. She’s hurt me, hurt everyone and every being, and yet even after everything I still have to deal with her.
“Hey- don’t scare me like that! I honestly don’t know why I keep you around at this point.” I said scolding the floating ghost in my laundry room.
S-ko gave me a twisted grin, her eyes locking onto me. “Then…why..don’t you?..”
Mocking me, she knew that I couldn’t get rid of them. That’s the ironic thing about ghosts, no matter what you do they can never truly ‘leave’. They have to go of their own will, to whatever higher place or world.
“Seriously- god, why do I even bother with you. And you know I can’t.”
“Tsk..you're no fun anymore…”
“Fun? So was this all a joke to you” I choked out.
S-ko had started to drift towards me. Hands reaching out to touch the sides of my face. The feeling of bitter coldness had given me goosebumps all over my body.
“Hm..maybe.”
I jolted back. I didn’t want to feel the touch of those cold hands, never again. She knows what to do to make me uncomfortable, to see me squirm in my own skin.
“Listen I really don’t have time for this- and can you please just back off..”
“What?…has my love ever been enough for you?..” she hissed at me.
Love, I can never understand it. The irony of it. S-ko wants to love, yet she hurts everyone and everything around her.
“This isn’t ‘love’, it never has been and never will be.”
“They wanted to hurt us..all of them did, I did what I had to do to protect us…” S-ko snapped at me. “They were trying to stop US, don’t you understand?…”
“Getting taken in by the police, the hospital, and the tests. Blacking in and out of consciousness, trying to stay alive from all of YOUR mistakes,” I shouted out.
“I’m sorry but maybe I wouldn’t be so damn tense if it wasn’t for you!” I took a breath in, now realizing what I’d done. This wasn’t going to end well.
This was the final straw that broke the camel's back.
“Of course you blame me..you never once think about what I’ve been doing to help US,” She retorted, her words stinging like acid in my ears. “WHY DO THEY GET A PASS?!”
Her eyes flared up with rage, I was in for it now. I heard the sick twisted sound of snapping joints from her. She was clawing into her dress, contorting in different positions. She was going to kill me.
“Because S-ko- you were the one HURTING ME! I can’t move on from what you did- I’ve never been able to. No one else wanted a fight, it was you-“ I was suddenly cut off by S-ko lunging at me.
Her cold hands wrapped around my shoulders, with a deathly grip on them. S-ko leaned forward towards me. Revealed her eyes as she stared at me. She always clawed at my body before when she got upset. Breaking a bone, slashing into my chest, it all didn’t matter to her. She always took her pain out on others. And she always ended up hurting me, all over again.
I was waiting, anticipating the hit when she finally spoke. “I…just..forget it..” S-ko had then released me from her death grip, having then disappeared as the lights turned back to normal. leaving me to wander off, all shaken yet unharmed.
I should hate you, despise you for what you’ve done…yet I can’t bring myself to say anything.
She was already gone, no use in trying to scream my head off. Petty arguments and scares like these have always happened, the ghost has gotten better at finding peace since we started to communicate. Though S-ko was still bitter as ever. I never asked her about her past or what happened, I never dare to ask. But I know that whatever did happen, has caused her a lot of pain and grief.
What was I even here for again?…
Right- the cleaning supplies..
It feels like life is repeating. A sense of recollection, something that was meant to be forgotten. Small arguments always happen, how come this one is any different? The room felt too bright. Too much to like at. My body started to stiffen, the need to lay down was overwhelming.
She tried to kill me, the way she wrapped herself around me. How she looked into me whenever she was upset. And yet I did nothing, I waited for it. Yet she did nothing.
There was a feeling of crawling, biting, slithering, under my skin. It all felt wrong. It should be over, all over. I’m cured, right? She wasn’t going to harm me again, they all promised to never use me again like that. Moving my body felt unnatural, like a puppet on a string. Everything felt like one big blur as I stumbled out of the room.
I moved myself over to the side of the hallway. Finally allowing my body to rest, letting everything go as a slid down onto the floor.
I wanted to curl up against the wall.
I wanted to run away from my life, start anew, and leave everything behind.
But most of all, I wanted to forget.
“Human are you alright?” a booming voice announced. A slowly lifted my head upwards to see, that it was the one and only Raoh.
“I’m..y-yeah..just kinda tired?…” I quietly mouthed out.
Raoh was another ghost that had latched onto him, but they’re an interesting case. According to what they’ve told me, Raoh was a warrior (possible god?) in their past life, having been killed in battle and not being able to move on from it. Years went by and I got stuck with them. For being a powerful broad warrior Raoh is very calm. It’s a nice change of pace from all the chaos that the other spirits cause.
“You are shaking human..was it perhaps one of the residents of this fortress that caused you this distress?.. I swear if it was those 3 horrid children-“
“No- well uh..not really, just a small squabble happened…”
“Seems to be more than just a ‘small squabble’ as you put it.”
“Just- fine..it brought back some bad..memories…and I-”
Raoh leaned over towards me, placing their hand on my back. It brought back a memory of a cold dark room, a cell. The feeling of dread yet a comforting presence combined.
“I-I don’t know what to…do with myself..I was barely able to keep myself together..and now it- it feels like something will happen to cause everything to fall apart..like before.” I took a breath in and out, in and out. You haven’t started crying yet Zappa, you can keep it leveled.
“Human I know that we are not your ideal way of living,” Raoh ranted.
“But you have come so far in this life, you were able to keep on going-“
“But your NOT listening!- YOU weren’t the one who had to carry the burden of a thousand spirits inside of you. I just- I don’t want to go through it…I want to move on, but everything reminds me of it.”
“Then you take your time human, no being here is forcing you to forget,” Raoh responded calmly.
“You can never truly move on from the past, that is the sad truth. It will come back as snippets and pieces in our minds. However, you can learn how to deal with it, and look into the future with new eyes. What you were then was different from what you are now…do not let any being tell you otherwise.”
Breath in and out, the feeling was still there yet it was more like a buzzing in my head. Not fully gone yet much calmer than before. Breath in and out.
And for a moment, everything seemed like it was going to be ok.
———————————————
The bird was starting to attract bugs now, great. It’s funny, almost ironic. The smallest problems that happen at the beginning can slowly turn into something worse as the day keeps on going.
S-ko appeared in front of me, standing still and observing.
“Listen, I’m trying..I’m really trying to give you a chance. I don’t want to be wandering around for my entire life trying to get myself killed because of a grudge,”
She continued to stare into me, waiting.
“You stole me from my own body. I don’t know what I am to you, nor do I care anymore… But all I wanted, in the end, was to live a normal life,”
“I-I can’t forgive you or really anyone for what happened. This isn’t what I wanted, but I’m trying to make it work.”
S-Ko started to lean over me, her long black hair dangling over my face and shoulders. The swelling dread arose from my throat, telling me to run, scream, and get out, but I couldn’t.
And for the first time, I saw both of her eyes. She seemed so sad, there wasn’t any anger, wrath, or jealousy, just grief. It felt like I was in a trance almost. It makes you wonder whatever happened, how S-ko became so hateful. Through all of it, was something that felt human. Even if she wasn’t.
Then all at once, she spoke. “Why am I… still with you?…”
“I could ask the same thing. I don’t know much about the occult, let alone how all of this happened…”
“I just want to..stop hurting..I need someone too…”
“That’s something you will have to figure out for yourself. Not me or anyone else is going to come along and fix this mess…”
For a moment, we just sat there. Not knowing what to do or say. It felt like an understanding almost. An agreement that she finally came to terms with after so long, being able to let go.
———————————————
All the ghosts decided to take something up to help calm down at the beginning. And apparently, S-ko decided to take up reading. It’s still taking time for everything to become level-headed, and they still act aggressively towards certain beings. But I can hardly tell they’re here.
Then as quickly as it started, I snapped back. Right, I was scrubbing away the stains at the door. The past is the past and I know I can’t go back and change it. I looked down at the mess the black dog had made, continuing with cleaning it. From afar I heard a soft whimper. Looking up I first noticed the red eyes, big claws, and wide mouth. My vision then got obscured by the big black mass jumping on me and- licking? Well, this isn’t the first time something like this happened.
“AH- You just scared me, boy!” I let out a laugh, “I’m ok! I’m ok!” the dog barked with approval and lowered themselves down, letting me get away from the ‘attack’.
As I stood up the black dog wagged his tail eagerly, it probably would be a good idea to play fetch after getting cleaned up. I patted the dog on the head as I turned towards the door. The giant sword was lying to the side, the three lost souls were sleeping on the couch, and S-Ko seemed to be keeping herself occupied with reading.
The world hasn’t ended yet, everything is still happening. Maybe things aren’t so bad now.