Work Text:
“You don’t know how to cook mac and cheese!? Jesus Christ, T, that’s like the easiest thing to make!” Michael shouted as he squeezed the handle of the fire extinguisher again, dousing the stovetop in another cloud of foam. The fire had been the result of Trevor’s failed attempt to make macaroni and cheese for the two; however, Trevor clearly had no cooking experience- if the flaming frying pan full of blackened noodles was any indication. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you cook.”
“Fuck you, Michael! I said I was sorry! It’s not my fault that I didn’t know I had to boil water, alright!?” He snapped bitterly. The pyromaniac in question was currently sitting on the tabletop, sulking. “Boil water,” he scoffed. “What do you think I am? A scientist?”
Michael rolled his eyes and lowered the fire extinguisher. The fire was finally out, thank god. He put the extinguisher back in the closet and walked over to Trevor. Michael felt bad for him, actually. From what little that Trevor had told him about his past, it sounded like he could’ve been the poster child for neglect. His mother wasn’t around much, and when she was, feeding her sons was the farthest thing from her mind, let alone teaching them to cook for themselves. It was a daily struggle for Trevor to find something to eat back then, most of it scavenged from the neighbor’s garbage cans- rotten, expired, slimy, and toxic- it didn’t matter. Food was food to the young outcast.
“It’s not that hard, Trevor. You just need a bit of practice.” He smiled reassuringly and brought a hand up to run his fingers through Trevor’s scraggly mullet; something guaranteed to soothe his partner in crime during times of stress. Trevor sighed and apologized for almost burning their safe house down and offered to help with the cleanup.
While they bickered over whether or not the noodles were still edible- they weren’t, much to Trevor’s dismay- Michael made a promise to help turn the man into a “real” cook. “I’ll teach you the basics, you know? Like the fact that you need water when you make pasta?” Michael teased. Trevor growled playfully and threw a wet rag at him, satisfied with the horrified noises Michael made as it slapped against his back and stuck there out of arms reach.
The next day, Michael guided him on the proper way to cut meat up for stew. Trevor got a little too excited when Michael handed him the knife and he started stabbing the chunk of beef violently, making tiny, horrified, mooing sounds.
“Fuckin- A, Trev, it’s dead, alright?!” Michael clamored as he snatched the knife out of the psychopath’s hands. “If you aren’t gonna take this seriously, I’m not teaching you shit.”
Trevor leaned against the counter and scoffed, crossing his arms. “Fine. Go right ahead, Gordon Ramsay.” He quipped.
Michael clenched his jaw and chuckled. “You know what? That’s a compliment. He’s a fantastic chef, so thank you.”
“IT’S NOT A FUCKING COMPLIMENT!” Trevor roared, slamming a clenched fist against the counter. A bottle of black pepper toppled over and rolled away, clattering to the floor.
“Do you want to learn to cook or not?” Michael asked exasperatedly, offering the knife to the criminal again.
Trevor nodded and mumbled quietly in defeat, taking the knife from Michael’s hand. “Now what?” he asked.
“Grab the meat with one hand-”
“Mmmmhhh…Not the first time I’ve heard that, eh M?” The younger criminal grinned haughtily, arching an eyebrow at Michael seductively.
“Oh grow up, will you?” Michael said as he fought the blush that spread up his neck. “Grab the meat- shut up- and use the knife to cut it into chunks.”
Trevor jabbed the knife straight down into the hunk of meat and began sawing it into a smaller piece. He frowned at the amused hum Michael let out as the older criminal walked over, stood behind him, and brought his hands cover Trevor’s, peering over his shoulder as he guided him. Trevor furrowed his brow in concentration as he tried to focus on the way the knife was supposed to move, rather than thinking about the fact that he had an erection from the sudden proximity of Michael behind him. After a few minutes, the cutting board lay covered in small chunks of beef, perfectly diced up, seasoned, and ready to cook. Trevor watched as Michael walked to the stove and dropped the pieces into a large iron pot.
“C’mere T,” Michael beckoned. “Here’s how you correctly turn on the stove. You don’t have to turn it up all the way.” Trevor walked over to him and peered into the pot, watching as the meat began to sizzle and pop. When the meat browned, Michael showed Trevor how to make a broth with the cooked beef, teaching him how to use a measuring cup to get the correct amount of water and beef stock. “Okay, while that thickens up, I’m gonna need you to dice up those carrots.”
Trevor cleaned off the knife from before, and prepared to chop the carrots into slices. He looked down at the phallic vegetable and grinned. “Hey, M.” He turned to Michael and brought a particularly fat carrot up to his mouth, wrapping his lips around it seductively. He hummed and took more into his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks as he watched Michael’s face flush with heat again.
“Knock it off, T. Now’s not the time.”
Trevor’s eyes glinted dangerously. He growled and brought his teeth down, crunching the carrot in half. He hummed happily as he munched, ignoring the horrified expression on the older man’s face. Content with himself, he laid the rest of the carrot on the counter and chopped it up along with the others.
Soon the pot was full of a thick, savory beef vegetable stew, and Trevor’s mouth was positively watering. “Do we eat it now?” He asked, peering over Michael’s shoulder as the man stirred the steaming pot.
“Not for a while, Trev.” He sighed. This was the tenth time the criminal had asked. It was time for another distraction. “Do you want to learn how to bake a chocolate cake?”
Trevor’s eyes lit up at the idea and his face split into a childish grin. “Sure, M.”
“Okay then, get that bag of flour, and some baking powder outta the cabinet. Oh, and the box of cocoa too.” He rambled as he went to the fridge to grab the butter and eggs. They set everything on the counter and started to preheat the oven. Michael let Trevor crack the eggs, but unfortunately, the psychopath ended up crushing them in his fists, oblivious to the fact that eating eggshells was NOT normal. After grabbing a new mixing bowl, Michael covered Trevor’s hands with his again, showing him the proper way to crack an egg open without getting any of the shell in the bowl. Michael added the butter and baking powder, but he let Trevor add the flour and cocoa, keeping an eye on the measurements he made in case he poured too much or too little.
“Can I trust you with the hand-mixer?” Michael asked as he opened a drawer.
“The what?”
“Okay, wooden spoon it is.” Michael chuckled and tossed it to the criminal. “Mix that for exactly three minutes. Any longer than that and the cake will come out tough. I’ll set the timer and start making the frosting. Three minutes later (precisely) they poured the batter into two cake pans and placed them in the oven. Trevor demanded to lick the spoon, and he sat on the counter, happily licking it clean. Almost none of it got on his mustache. He pouted halfheartedly while Michael wiped it off, fidgeting in protest like a child having to endure the horror of a spit-wet napkin to the face.
Michael went back to stirring the frosting, whipping it into a fluffy chocolate glaze before scraping it into a small container to cool. Trevor hummed happily and slid off the counter, coming to stand behind Michael. The taller criminal snaked his arms around Michael’s waist and pulled him back against his hips, purring seductively in his ear.
“Hey, M…Save some of that frosting for later. I’ve got an idea.” He rolled his hips, grinding his slowly growing erection against Michael’s ass. He loved the breathy groan it drew from Michael as he responded by grinding his hips back.
“Trevor…Not now.” He warned as the psychopath began tracing his tongue up his neck to nibble his ear. Trevor rolled his hips again, more demanding this time.
“There’s a timer set…We’ll just be in the other room,” he licked Michael’s ear and breathed hotly against it. “I wanna know how you taste covered in chocolate.” He tightened his grip and spun Michael around, shoving their hips together. He brought a hand up to grip Michael’s jaw tightly and crashed his mouth against his. Trevor felt Michael sigh and he shared that breath, slipping his tongue into Michael’s mouth. There was a brief duel of tongues as Michael tried to take command of the kiss, but to no avail. They broke apart, gasping for breath. “Bedroom.” Trevor panted. The older criminal nodded and headed to the room, but not without a quick slap on his ass from Trevor as he followed behind with the bowl of frosting.
Michael unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off his shoulders, dropping it in a heap on the floor. He shivered as Trevor ran a hand down his back and peppered his shoulder with kisses before sauntering over to the bed. Michael removed his pants, leaving his boxers on. Trevor motioned for Michael to lie down, watching as his partner got comfortable on the large mattress. He hummed lowly and climbed onto the bed, positioning himself so that he was straddling Michael’s waist. He rocked his hips back slowly and Michael sucked in a breath. Michael and grit his teeth and grabbed Trevor’s hips tightly.
“Fuck, T.” he hissed through clenched teeth.
Trevor hummed in approval and scooped a small amount of frosting onto his finger. He rubbed it against Michael’s neck, smearing it against his pulse point. Trevor leaned down and gave an experimental lick, smiling triumphantly when Michael let out a quiet whimper. He continued the swipes of his tongue, licking the patch of skin clean and growling happily as Michael twitched and gasped beneath him. Trevor pulled back and dipped his finger again, assessing the expanse of his friend’s quivering skin. He dragged his finger down Michael’s chest, leaving a trail of chocolate in its wake. Michael’s heart fluttered as Trevor leaned down and lapped at his chest, and he dropped his hands to his sides, grasping the sheets as the man continued his assault with his lips and tongue. Trevor rolled his hips again and smeared frosting on each of Michael’s nipples. He brought his mouth down and flicked his tongue against the hardened nubs, choosing one to latch on to and suck hard, swirling his tongue around it to gather all of the frosting.
“Oh f-fuck! Trevor, shit.” Michael moaned, bringing a hand up to grip Trevor’s hair, arching his chest into his hot mouth. Trevor’s hum of approval shot delicious vibrations through his chest and Michael was panting now, tossing his head side to side in pleasurable frustration. He guided Trevor’s mouth to the other nipple, and the younger man smirked as he traced the nub with his tongue, lapping the frosting off slowly. Michael huffed and tried to thrust his hips again, letting out a sound of disappointment when he was denied friction as Trevor lifted his hips and slid lower. Trevor hooked his fingers in Michael’s boxers and slid them off slowly, the man’s cock springing free to smack against his stomach.
“Fuck, M,” He breathed, his pupils blown wide with arousal as he traced his tongue up the underside of Michael’s dick. He grabbed under Michael’s thighs and lifted him up, tilting him backwards for better access.
“Ow! Fuck! I don’t bend that way, T!” Michael chuckled and reached back for the pillow. “Here you go, ya fucking sadist.” He tossed it at Trevor. The younger criminal caught it and folded it in half, sliding it under Michael’s hips.
“You precious ass.” Trevor jabbed. He picked up the bowl of frosting and scooped another glob onto his finger.
”I swear to god, T, if you put that frosting in my ass I’ll fucking throttle you.” Michael threatened playfully, earning a gentle smack to the inside of his thigh.
“I’ll do whatever I fucking want, cupcake.” Trevor purred, swiping the chocolate on Michael’s balls. He brought his mouth down and swirled his tongue across it, pulling one into his mouth, suckling gently. He groaned low in his throat, the vibrations causing Michael to moan weakly.
“Jesus, Trevor…Come on.” Michael panted and brought a hand to his aching cock. Trevor growled and batted the hand away, pulling his mouth off Michael’s sac with a wet pop. He gazed at the man’s cock- swollen, twitching, and slowly dribbling pre-cum. He looked up at Michael and saw that he’d turned his face away, eyes shut tightly. With every few breaths, he’d let out a quiet, breathy moan.
“Look at me.” Trevor groaned. Michael turned his head and glared as the grinning criminal placed his thumb against Michael’s asshole and began to rub small circles. Trevor growled and slithered up the man’s body to claim his lips in a sloppy, desperately passionate kiss. “I wanna fuck you, M.” He mumbled against the man’s lips. Michael responded by rolling his hips, grinding his cock against Trevor’s still clothed erection.
“Then fuck me.” Michael breathed, sliding his hands up under Trevor’s shirt to rake his nails down the psychopath’s back. Trevor tossed his head back and shuddered, moaning loudly as the scratches blossomed into beautiful, painful pleasure. He pulled off his shirt and threw it across the room, followed shortly by his jeans and underwear. He clambered over to the bedside table and opened the drawer, retrieving the bottle of lubricant the men kept. ‘In case of horny Trevor,’ Michael had joked. Trevor lifted up Michael’s knees and draped them over his shoulders as he scooted closer. He popped the cap open and drizzled some onto Michael’s hole, loving the way it twitched and puckered, drawing some of the lubricant inside.
“Shit, Michael…” Trevor breathed, swallowing hard. He began to tease the opening with his finger, slowly working it inside. Michael gasped at the feeling, quickly growing accustomed to it as Trevor slid another finger in alongside the first, stretching him wider. Trevor gradually built up to three fingers and watched, enamored, as Michael’s dick twitched with every graze of his prostate. Trevor slid his fingers out and grabbed the bottle of lubricant again, pouring some onto his palm. He hissed through clenched teeth at the cool sensation against his cock and lined his dick up, teasing Michael’s entrance with the tip. He locked eyes with Michael as he pressed in; his eyes fluttering closed of their own accord. He groaned lowly as the tight, welcoming heat engulfed the head of his cock. “Ohhh…fuck. God, Mikey, you feel so fucking good.”
Michael groaned deeply and wrapped his legs around Trevor’s hips, pulling him in deeper. “Fuckin- A.”
Trevor growled and began rocking his hips, fucking the man deep and slow. He grinned and reached for the frosting again. Trevor dipped his thumb and brought it up to Michael’s mouth. Michael grabbed Trevor’s wrist and pulled the chocolate covered finger into his mouth, sucking and moaning erotically.
“Fuck yeah…” Trevor hummed, sinking in the rest of the way. “You like that, don’t you?” Trevor huffed and pulled his thumb away, replacing it with his lips, tasting the delicious mixture of Michael and chocolate once again as he panted and moaned into his mouth. The pace quickened and the room slowly filled with the sounds of ragged breaths, shuddering moans, and the vulgar sound of skin crashing together. Soon Michael was shouting with every thrust, clinging to Trevor for dear life as the man continued to pound into him relentlessly.
“Fuck, T. Oh f- right there, don’t fucking stop…don’t stop,” Michael could feel himself getting close to cumming.
“Yeah?” Trevor growled and thrust harder, watching Michael’s face as he went through the first creeping tendrils of his impending orgasm.
“Trevor, I’m gonna cum. Oh shit, shit. Jesus, fuck…AH, FUCK, T!” Michael sucked in a breath and grabbed Trevor’s hair, pulling harshly as his cock shot cum across their stomachs, grinding his dick against Trevor’s waist. His body shook and he moaned incoherently while Trevor fucked him through it, hissing vulgar praise in his ear.
“That’s it, baby. You’re so goddamn beautiful when you cum, Mikey. So fucking beautiful…”he purred as he thrusted faster and harder. “I love you, Michael. I love you so much. Just you and me, M…you an’ me. I love you, I love you, I lov-“
Michael silenced Trevor’s frantic rambling with his mouth, swallowing Trevor’s gasping moans as the man came hard, hips stuttering against Michael’s as he spills himself deeply, claiming Michael for his own. Michael holds Trevor close as he cums, running his fingers through the thrashing man’s hair, echoing his moans at the feeling of Trevor fills him. Trevor gives a few more sloppy thrusts and groans deeply as the last waves of orgasm fade. He lifts his head to capture Michael’s lips in a sloppy, content kiss.
Not two minutes later, the smoke detector began to sound off, jarring both men from their post-coital stupor. Their confusion was short-lived as they both arrived at the same conclusion.
“The cake!!” They shouted simultaneously, quickly scrambling out of the bed to run into the kitchen. The pot of stew was boiling over and the cake was beginning to catch fire in the oven, belching black smoke into the air.
“I thought you set a timer!” Trevor bellowed as he ran to the closet to grab the fire extinguisher.
“I thought you did!” Michael replied, suddenly realizing that they were both still naked. “If I burn my dick off I’m gonna kill you, T!” Michael took the extinguisher from Trevor and doused the flames. After it finally went out, they looked at each other for a moment before breaking into loud, hearty laughter at how ridiculous the other looked. They were naked and covered in bits of frosting and cum, the food was ruined, and their oven was definitely useless now. Michael laughed, and placed the extinguisher on the floor. He sauntered over to Trevor and kissed him, both of them chuckling against each other’s lips. Michael broke the kiss and walked to the bathroom, starting up the shower for the two to clean themselves off.
“So…Chinese food?” He called over his shoulder.
“Fuck yeah! I want tiny corn.” Trevor replied as he joined Michael in the bathroom. They stepped into the shower and scrubbed each other clean, arguing over whether or not the cake was still edible.
It wasn’t.