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Derek's not looking for a mate and even if he was, it wouldn't be some skinny, spastic kid like Stiles.
God, he is annoying, always hopped up on some prescription drug or another and talking like his tongue will fall out if he stops. Stiles is obnoxious and awkward and cocky as shit. Everything that Derek hates in humans in general and teenagers in particular. Prolonged exposure to Stiles makes Derek want to slam him up against things-- hard-- which Derek quite frequently indulges in, and kiss him till he can't think straight, which Derek most definitely does not.
Because a kid like Stiles wouldn't know what he was signing on for. God, he's a kid, sixteen is just so damn young, but even if he was older, say eighteen and perfectly legal, Derek still wouldn't want to make a move. Because Stiles is young in more than just age. Even with everything that's gone down recently, he's still the sort of fresh faced and innocent that makes Derek's hackles rise. Makes him want to do stupid thing, like wrap Stiles up in cotton and lock him in a room somewhere so that nothing in Derek's world can damage him more.
And that, right there, is a big giant neon sign that things are real bad wrong, as far as Derek's concerned.
Derek doesn't do protective. Hasn't done it for years. Not since he up and decided to protect the one person in the world who needed it least. And here is he, wanting to throw himself between Stiles and the rest of the world. Stiles, who last time Derek checked could barely stand him. And that’s just not right. Not right at all.
But it’s there, that instinct to protect. Along with the one to treasure and mark and claim for his very own. Each and every time he’s near the kid, he just wants to grab tight and never let go. And it’s not even about sex, the way it was with Kate. God, it’s nothing like it was with Kate. He was so confident then, so sure of himself and his place in the world. Yeah, his parents had warned him not to trust so easily, told him not to confuse teenage hormones with the deeper, more meaning bond between mates, but what did they know?
A lot, as it turns out.
But this is different. This is a connection that runs so deep it feels like it’s buried in the marrow of his bones. The way he is constantly attuned to Stiles, even when he’d rather not be. The way he can sense him clear across town, the way smelling someone else’s scent on him makes Derek bare his teeth and growl.
Which is happening a lot these days, seeing as how Stiles doesn’t know how to keep his hands to himself, can’t even seem to manage to stand on his own two feet without bumping into someone or other. But somehow, despite his clumsy ways, the kid never manages to bump into Derek. Oh no. He’s got perfect balance whenever Derek’s around, though he common sense never seems to make an appearance.
Hell no. The kid pushes back more than anyone Derek has ever met, eyes rolling in the face of Derek’s anger, causally brushing aside Derek’s threats like he never issued them at all. It makes Derek’s pulse race and his temper rise in ways they haven’t since he was a kid himself. That coupled with the way Stiles looks at him, like Derek’s something nasty stuck to the bottom of his shoe. But then, that’s part of the draw, isn’t it? Finally finding someone willing to challenge him, even if only for a moment before backing down quick. What would it be like, he wonders, to give him the bite, to see how that instinct to push back would translate into a pack dynamic.
Pack. Another thing that Derek doesn’t want; another thing that seems like he’s going to end up getting, one way or the other. Scott already comes to him looking for guidance and Jackson’s much of the same. Or at least he will be once he works through his insecurities. But Stiles, Stiles would never bear his throat without a fight, without knowing that the one he gave his submission to was worthy of having it. It would mean more than just instinct if Stiles were to roll over for him.
God, Derek burns for it. Aches deep inside with longing. Because Stiles is an equal, damn it. For all he’s still just a kid, he’s got more to offer than your average teenager convinced of their own self-worth. Given time, he’ll be something worth having. It all there, written across his face when he questions Scott’s judgment or gives his father that extra nudge in the right direction. And if Derek had the sense god gave a gnat, he would back the fuck away, ignore all things Stiles related and move on with his sad excuse of a life. Because nothing as good as Stiles could possibly be for him and so there is no way that this whole angsty pining thing he’s got going on is going to end well. No way at all.
But then, Derek's never been known for his good sense and, for the life of him, he can't stay away.
It's pathetic, the way he follows the kid around, creeping into the unguarded corners of his life. At least with Scott there is a reason for him to be keeping tabs. With Stiles it's just... obsessive borderline stalker behavior. There is no reason for Derek to need to know where Stiles is at all times. No reason for him to hide out in Stiles room during the day, burrowing into his blankets to catch a whiff of the teen's weak human musk. Or for him to listen in as he interacts with his father at night. Or for him to insist on being present when Stiles's lab partner comes over just so that he can sit and scowl at the boy, who clearly isn't even interested in Stiles, no matter how much Stiles might be interested in him.
And doesn’t that just burn, having to watch Stiles pine over someone else. But does Derek react normally? No. Of course not. Instead he makes a point of trying on each and every one of Stiles's shirts when he knows that none of them have a hope of fitting, because by doing so he has a chance to mark Stiles's clothing-- and, by extension, Stiles's body-- with his scent. Claiming the kid even when he has no right to do it.
Pathetic, all of it. And, as much as he hates to admit it, absolutely impossible for him to stop.
Because Stiles is it. No matter how much Derek might wish it to be otherwise. He wraps Derek up in knots and he's not even trying. Hell, he doesn't even like Derek. And not in the disinterested way that people don't like things like homework and brussel sprouts. No, Stiles actively dislikes Derek. So much so that he puts off angry stay the hell away from me vibes every time they are alone together, he body chemistry making his feelings as clear as if he had shouted them out loud.
And all while Derek is wanting to wrap him in his arms, sniff behind his ear, bite down hard on his neck, marking him as Derek's for the world to see.
It's enough to turn Derek's stomach, the way he wants Stiles.
Wants him forever, the way Scott wants Allison. Wants him desperately, the way Jackson wants the bite. Wants him with a single minded focus, the way Kate wants to destroy what's left of Derek's life.
Wants him for all the reasons he can't have him.
Derek's not looking for a mate. Never has been, actually, but that doesn't mean that he hasn't found one. And, god help that poor bastard, because now that Derek's keyed into him, he'll never let him go. He'll always be there, creeping along in his shadow, burrowing his way into Stiles’s life as easily as he burrows into the kid's blankets. Making himself a nice cozy hollow, whether Stiles wants him to or not.
Because when wolves mate, they mate for life. Even unto death, his father had said, his eyes soft with love and affection as he looked at Derek’s mother. Derek wonders sometimes if that’s what he look like someday, if their someday ever comes. All soft and wondering and filled up with love, smiling at Stiles like he’s everything in the world.
Derek’s not looking for a mate, doesn’t have the time or energy for one. And even if he was, it wouldn't be some skinny, spastic kid like Stiles. Unfortunately for the pair of them, nature did the looking on Derek’s behalf.