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Concert days always ended with Luke's head slowly falling onto Ashton's shoulder. In a chaotic life of touring, performing, fans, and interviews, it one of the thing he knew he could count on.
They had to wake up at nearly 7, dragged themselves out of their bunks on the tour bus to do a million interviews, followed by the soundcheck and a meet and greet with the fans. Their performance went great for them, of course-the fans screamed, they played their set, they goofed around on the stage, making fools of themselves for thousands of people. Fans begged them to stay, but eventually the band said goodnight and left the stage, only to be swarmed by more fans. They did the customary autographs, pictures, and hugs before security finally ushered them outside and back onto the tour bus.
Lazily, the older boy scrolled through Twitter, reading all the tweets about the concert and pictures they'd taken after. Several fans were talking about the comment Ashton had made about Luke between one of the songs, saying how he "looked particularly hot tonight" and how Luke had winked at him awkwardly like he always does. By now, Ashton was used to all the connections fans made, and sometimes he could pretend that it was just the two of them being friends; other times, Ashton let himself wonder if Luke had other intentions he'd never shared with him.
Calum appeared from the bunk area and sat on the couch next to Ashton, asking, "You coming with us tonight?"
Ashton shook his head, responding with a sigh and saying, "I'm exhausted, man. Another night."
Michael, splayed across the opposite couch, mockingly sang without glancing away from his phone, "Ashton is an old man."
Luke came out of the bathroom then, joining Ashton on the couch as Calum and Michael danced around singing, "Ashton's an old man! Ashton's an old man!" The younger boy pressed himself against Ashton, quietly speaking in his ear, "It took them this long to realize how old you are?"
Ashton laughed and pushed the boy away, forcing him onto his back with a hand on his shoulder. "I'm not an old man!"
Luke whined, "Twenty is old!"
"You'll be twenty in like two years!"
"That's a long time, Ash!"
Luke sat up and reached over to lay across Ashton, who resisted by pushing him off and onto the ground. The younger boy pulled Ashton down to the floor and now the two of them were full on wrestling now, causing Michael and Calum to join in. The four rolled around the floor, laughing and yelling at high voices. When somebody's elbow jabbed into Ashton's crotch, he decided to pull away and find his way back to the couch. When the other three noticed his absence, they broke out into song again:
"Ashton's an old man! Ashton's an old man! Ashton's an old man!"
Trying to ignore them, Ashton grabbed his earbuds and plugged them in. Putting on Green Day, he blocked out the noise of their screaming and singing. Eventually, they settled down and Luke sat next to Ashton on the couch again, pressing his shoulder next to him. The blonde reached over to take out an earbud and put it in his own ear. Ashton closed his eyes and let the music fill his body. The only thing he registered was Luke's shoulder pressed to his and a few minutes later, he felt Luke's head drop onto his shoulder.
Ashton glanced down at the younger boy, trying to hide his smile. Luke's hair was starting to fall and was sticking up on only one side. With his eyes closed, his dark eyelashes touched his cheek. His mouth was slightly open, and he made a little half-snore, half-gasp sound when he breathed. Luke leaned a little more into Ashton, fitting into the crook of his neck.
"Hey, Ash," Michael called out, taking Ashton away from his fixation.
"Yeah?"
"When are you and Lukey over there gonna make out? We wanna know if were gonna need barf bags before we get back."
Ashton rolled his eyes and held up a finger Michael was very familiar with. "Funny."
Calum and Michael went back to playing some game on their phones, laughing and punching each other occasionally. Ashton reached over to brush Luke's hair out of his eyes, his fingers ghosting over his neck lightly. The boy breathed deeply, shifting a little, probably to get more comfortable, and Ashton slowly moved his head to rest on his lap while bringing up the rest of his body to lay on the couch. Pulling a nearby blanket off the floor, he spread it over Luke's body and lightly threaded his fingers through the tangled blonde hair.
This is normal, Ashton thought to himself. Best friends do this, it's okay. It's okay.
Luke moved his head slightly, creating friction, and Ashton desperately tried to keep his emotions (and hormones) at bay; I can not get a hard on because of Luke. This would not part of a normal friendship.
Luckily, he didn't have to resist his urges for too long because their tour bus was stopping and when Ashton looked out the window, they were already parked by their hotel.
Ashton shook Luke's shoulder, trying to wake him up. Luke picked his head up but turned away and instead pulled his legs closer to his chest. Smiling, he shuffled out of the bus, pausing outside to wait for Luke to stumble out. When Michael and Calum climbed out, saying they'd be back by morning, the older boy decided to find out why Luke was not coming out. Stepping back into the bus, he saw the blonde still curled with the blanket wrapped around him.
Ashton pushed Luke's shoulder, but he just mumbled something and turned away. "Hey," Ashton said softly, "You have to get out now."
"Don't wanna."
"Your bed is a lot more comfortable than this couch, Luke."
"Too far," he mumbled, his voice full of sleep. With his eyes still closed, the younger boy held out his arms to Ashton, making grabby hands for him. "Carry me. Please."
"You're ridiculous."
"You love me."
Ashton laughed and managed to pull Luke across his arms. For somebody who looked so lanky and bony, Luke was heavy for Ashton to carry and he struggled to hold him while the younger boy wrapped his arms around his neck and helped press himself against Ashton's chest. The older boy carried Luke out of the tour bus and up to their floor. Along the way, Ashton tired to decided when he had become such a sucker for the younger boy, when he had started taking care of him.
He'd always been in love with those baby blue eyes of his, but lately he'd been wanting to be able to claim that they were his. He wanted Luke in every sense possible: to love, to cherish, to comfort, to protect.
But that idiot of a boy was oblivious to everything, never realized how much Ashton cared for him and loved him. It was hard to stay this close with him, but after knowing Luke for 3 years, he'd been able to keep his feelings from affecting his judgment. He knew how to love the boy inside and just be friends outside.
Now, here he was, carrying Luke bridal-style back to their shared room and all he could think about was why he would be doing this in a different situation.
When he reached their room, Ashton let Luke, who whined as he leaned against him, down long enough to fish the room card out of his backpack. Luke was clinging to him even after the door was opened, clawing at his arms to pick him up instead of walking into the room himself. Ashton shook his head, but nonetheless scooped Luke into his arms like a child, kicking the door closed with his foot.
He walked to Luke's bed and lightly laid him down, throwing his backpack to the floor as Luke undressed before pulling the covers over himself. Mumbling incoherent words, the younger boy buried himself in his blankets, curling into a ball.
After stripping off his shoes, shirt, and pants, Ashton crawled into his own bed, calling out a, "Goodnight, Lukey," into the quiet dark of their room. He was answered with more mumbling and the shifting of sheets from the other bed.
The silence only lasted for about 2 minutes before Luke threw back the covers and said, "Fuck."
Ashton sat up and looked over at the other boy, who was now laying on his back looking at the ceiling. "Can't sleep?"
Luke looked over and met Ashton's eyes. Without even having to invite him in, Luke rolled out of his bed and snaked his way under the covers into Ashton's bed. Reaching up with grabby hands, the younger boy pulled him down. Familiar with this situation, they pulled each other.close, Ashton wrapping an arm around his head and Luke laying his head on his shoulder.
For a minute they stayed like that, Luke's head rising with each breath Ashton took. Then the younger boy rolled over so half his chest was laying across Ashton's body, a freezing hand flopping on to his bare stomach. Shivers were running across Ashton's skin, despite how hot he felt under the mountain of blankets. Luke kept moving on top of him, moving his legs a bunch until one was lying between Ashton's, his knee somewhere atop his hip.
Anybody else would have felt awkward being in this kind of position, but after years of "cuddle nights" with Luke, he'd grown used him being so affectionate and close. A part of him might even admit that he slept better on the nights when he could fall asleep with the giant lying across him.
Ashton let his hands rest of Luke's exposed back, rubbing circles into his shoulders with a knuckle. Eventually, he relaxed on top of him, blowing warm air across Ashton's chest as he sighed.
It was nice; it was familiar; it was home; it was Luke.
He couldn't help not admiring the boy as he slowly fell asleep on him. Ashton had literally watched the kid grow up, transitioning from his awkward high school years into what he was now. No matter how hard he had tried through the years, he couldn't get the boy out of his mind. Their relationship was always close, but they'd never actually admitted any feelings to each other. (Of course, Ashton had no idea what Luke thought of him; while he was often too affectionate,he never was a big person on "sharing his feelings.")
He didn't know he'd end up falling in love with his best friend; he didn't know how much it would hurt.
Ashton thought Luke was asleep, but then, with his cheek squished against his shoulder he mumbled something the older boy didn't understand.
"What?"
Still with his eyes closed, Luke lifted his head and said quietly, "Do you want to be my boyfriend, Ash?"
Never before had Ashton's heart stopped so suddenly. His breathing ceased all together in an instant. I heard him wrong, I must have heard him wrong.
When a full minute passef without a response, Luke laid his head back down, saying, "Nevermind."
"No, no-fuck-wait. I just-did you really ask that?" Luke rubbed his head.against Ashton's shoulder in a gesture he assumed was a nod. "I'm-I... Are you drunk?" There had to be an explanation; he wouldn't just ask that.
"No, Ash. Just forget-"
Ashton took a deep breath, he was feeling dizzy, his head spinning around. Sliding out from under Luke, who rolled.back onto his back, the older boy sat up and looked down at him. Slowly, Luke opened one eye then the other, his face beginning to take on a pink tinge.
"Do you mean it, Luke? Was that a serious question?"
He squirmed under Ashton's stare. "I don't know why I-I shouldn't have, I'm sorry. You don't even have to say no, just pretend nothing happened." The pink blush was spreading across his face and down his neck.
Ashton thought about what he could do--the pros and cons of each option--for a whole 5 seconds before saying, "Fuck it." He leaned down, pushing against Luke as he kissed him. Pulling back, he instructed, "Ask again."
Luke was breathing hard now, staring up at Ashton. "Do-do you want to be my...my boyfriend?"
The older boy pressed another kiss to him, his hands threading into Luke's hair. "Again."
"Do you w-want to be my boyfriend?"
This time, Luke met Ashton halfway, pulling him over top so he was straddling the blonde. "Again."
"Do you want to be my fucking boyfriend?"
Ashton started at his neck, gradually kissing Luke until their lips were moving slowly against each other, both of them sighing into each other's mouth. It was nearly a minute of kissing before Ashton pulled back. "Guess my answer."
Luke's reply was cut off with a moan as the older boy started sucking a hickey on his neck. His breathing was becoming rapid, his hands wrapped around Ashton's biceps. "Ash, I-I'm sorry it took so long to-to ask. I never even told you that I-how I felt about you."
Ashton heard him, still in disbelief that this was actually happening, and eventually he withdrew from Luke, rolling off to lay down next to him. He wrapped an arm under the other boy's back, turning both of them on their sides to face each other. "I would have waited another century, Luke."
They laid in silence, Luke's eyes closed as Ashton ran his thumb back and forth over his jaw.
"I don't think I can sleep after this, Ash,' the younger boy said quietly, pushing his head closer to Ashton, who kissed the tip of his nose.
"Try because we play for 26,000 tomorrow."
Luke laughed, and gradually, their breathing reached an even rhythm, their eyes fluttered close as they fell asleep with their hands knotted together.