Work Text:
"To MC --
How are you? I hope you're doing good, as always. I heard from Jumin that the party is coming up soon... I don't know when this will reach you but I'm sorry I can't be there. I know you worked so hard.
I wish I could tell you I'll see you soon, but even I'm not sure still. I'm really sorry I'm keeping you waiting for so long... You might even hate me by the time I do come back. I'd be okay with that.
Have fun at the party though, enjoy your time with the members without worrying about me. Take care of yourself too, don't skip your meals. I'll write again soon.
Sincerely, Jihyun."
MC had been running the letter between her fingers all morning. She cherished every letter Jihyun sent, as it was like she could hear his voice speaking the words out loud. She was almost afraid she would forget what he sounded like as the letters were his only form of communication the past 2 years. No phone calls, no texts, just his neat handwriting and occasionally a photo, which he did include this time. His face was partially hidden by a beige scarf, but MC could see part of his wide grin. His cheeks were a rosy pink, probably due to the cold in Alaska this time of year, and his hair was a bit of a mess under his hat.
He looks so cute... MC thought to herself.
Even after all this time, her heart still ached for him. She knew he needed this time away, but she couldn't help but let her worries get to her. What if he came back but he decided he didn't want to love, or he didn't want to love her? There's nothing she could do about that, of course, but she knows the pain of that possibility would take an eternity to heal from. Or what if he didn't come back at all? Would he really leave the people who care about him behind like that? She didn't want the answer to these questions she had.
"Are you alright?" Luciel was leaning over the kitchen counter, a look of concern on his face.
"Yeah... Yeah I'm alright." MC nodded and gave him a small smile. "I just worry about him, is all."
"I get it. I worry about him too, but now I think Jihyun knows how to take good care of himself." Luciel was trying to lighten the mood. All he really knew how to do was joke around and somewhat compliment people. "Especially since he has you waiting on him. He wouldn't let anything happen to him until he sees you again.
"Until?" MC chuckled a little. Luciel's methods were working.
"Oh you know what I mean." He laughed and shook his head. At least he could make her laugh a little bit. The party was tomorrow, and knowing Jihyun wouldn't be there is probably taking a toll on MC.
Almost every day since Jihyun had left, Luciel was at his house to keep MC company. He knew better than anyone how hard being away from someone you deeply care about is, plus being by yourself on top of that. Also he lived the closest and Jihyun sort of asked him to do it, but MC was also his friend so he happily obliged.
Though at first he happily obliged. Not that he was unhappy spending time with MC, but that was the problem. He woke up every morning eager to make his way to Jihyun's (and MC's, he supposed) house. After a few months, he realized how much he truly valued spending his time with her. They ate their meals together, watched movies or stupid reality shows together, on rare occasion would go shopping together, all sorts of things. She would cook for them too, and make sure Luciel was doing alright emotionally too.
But when he returned to his home, reality greeted him.
No matter how much he would wish or pray, the life he lived with MC wasn't his to live. Not only was she waiting on Jihyun, someone very close to Luciel, but he was Luciel. He lived in his shitty, closed off house with his shitty, closed off job. He wasn't allowed to live the life he wanted anymore. He thinks he probably could've gotten out of his lifestyle now, but he missed his chance. He wasn't even supposed to go spend as much time as he did with MC, but it was a risk worth taking for just a little bit of time with her. If he slacked off or got caught, maybe it'd be best for both of them...
"Seven?" her sweet voice immediately snapped him out of his thoughts. She softly laid a hand on his arm too, and he fought off every urge to take her delicate hand in his own.
"Sorry, was thinking about work. What's up?"
"Isn't it almost time to go meet with everyone?" She asked, looking at him with curious eyes. So cute...
"Oh, right you are! If you're ready to go then let's go hop in the Sevenmobile!" He jumped up to grab his keys as she giggled.
What he would give to be in Jihyun's place.
Luciel and MC walked into the luxurious restaurant Jumin had made reservations for. There was no party last year, and since the year before was... quite traumatic for everyone, all the members, save for Jihyun, were finally able to get together this year for the party.
Everyone exchanged greetings and some small compliments, Zen making an offhand comment about Mr. CEO-in-line and his nobleness. It had been far too long since this little family was able to catch up with each other.
Of course, everyone asked MC questions about Jihyun. How he was doing, where he was now, the latest. She just answered as vaguely as possible, as it made her chest feel heavy talking about him. Jumin noticed this and started to shift the subject closer to the party and everyone else's lives. More smaller conversation broke out between the group while waiting for their food. MC started talking to Jaehee and Zen about musicals and skincare, or something. Luciel was across the table, so he wasn't too sure. Jumin and Yoosung were talking about some business opportunities, and Luciel couldn't be bothered to add anything to that.
So he let himself slip in his thoughts, stealing looks at MC from time to time. He knew it was wrong and selfish of him to want to make her happy, but at the same time... did he not deserve a happy ending too?
"What do you think, Seven?" Yoosung interrupted whatever daydream Luciel was trying to have.
"Hm?" He didn't want to even try to pretend like he was paying attention.
"You weren't even listening..." Yoosung pouted and Luciel stole another glance at MC. He wasn't discreet enough though. Yoosung also glanced at MC, and then back to Luciel, and then he squinted at Luciel. "Seven, are you.." Yoosung's eyes widened. Jumin raised an eyebrow at the two.
"Hungry? Yeah, I am! I can hardly wait for my steak!" Luciel quickly laughed whatever Yoosung was about to suggest away. Yoosung wasn't buying it, though, but decided not to press more in front of everyone.
"Hey, can I... call you later? I have a question about um... my new computer!" Yoosung asked quietly in case anyone else heard him. Luciel knew he was caught, but he was a master of disguising emotions, so he grinned and nodded. The rest of the meal he went back to his bright, joking self. If anyone else found out, they would probably hate him.
"Go get some good rest, and I'll pick you up at around 8 in the morning tomorrow, alright?" Luciel walked MC up to her front door.
"Alright, but I need you to get a normal amount of sleep too." MC replied.
"I do get a normal amount!" Luciel argued back playfully.
"All in the same period of time!" MC poked him in the chest.
"Alright, alright, I promise." Luciel surrendered.
"You promise?" MC's voice grew soft and she held her pinky up. Luciel was glad it was darker outside because he could feel his face heat up just a bit.
"I promise." He hooked his pinky around hers. He so badly wished this promise was something else, something selfish. Her hands were so warm, he didn't really want to let go. "And not to brag, but I'm pretty good on keeping those."
"You better be. And this promise means you have to take care of yourself too."
"Ma'am yes ma'am!" Luciel gave a small salute. Time for his least favorite part of his days. He laid a hand on her shoulders. "Congratulations on this party, also. You worked so hard."
"Give yourself credit too. You kept me from losing my sanity since... he left." her voice trailed off. "And you helped with the preparations. Everyone did! It was a team effort!" MC quickly brought back her upbeat tone.
"Right you are." Luciel softly smiled at her. She gave that precious smile of hers back. He couldn't help but shake this weird feeling he had. He almost wanted to confess to her right now, it just felt right, but he didn't want to risk anything being ruined between them. He figured she would have to reject him, since her heart clearly belonged to someone else. He couldn't ruin that too, or even if she accepted him, he couldn't do that to Jihyun.
"I'll see you bright and early Luciel!" MC gave him a thumbs up as she started unlocking the door.
"Right. Goodnight MC, I'll catch you tomorrow."
On the drive home, Luciel couldn't help but feel like this would be the last time his days would be ending with her. He knows the day will come as soon as Jihyun was back, but there's no telling when that is. Then his phone started ringing.
"Lucky Seven Zero Seven at your service!" He answered.
"It's me, Yoosung." Luciel tried not to groan. He didn't want to have this conversation, not now. "Are you free to talk?"
"Cut to the chase, please. I know this isn't about a computer."
"Luciel, I... I'm sorry." Yoosung sighed. "I can just see it in the way you look at her, and I'm sorry."
"Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?"
"I guess I'm just sorry you have to go through this. I know you can't help how you feel."
"...Why are you calling me? To give me advice?" Luciel was starting to feel a bit frustrated. He knows he couldn't help it. He didn't need Yoosung to tell him things he already knew.
"Well, no... I guess... I just wanted to tell you that I'm here for you. Really! I can't really relate to your exact situation, but if you just need someone to hear you out..."
"Thanks, Yoosung. I'll be alright, though."
"Luciel, please... you don't have to hide from your friends anymore. Please."
Luciel felt a single tear start to form in his eyes, so he had to end this call quickly. "I hear you Yoosung. I have to go now, I just got home." He made up some excuse and hung up. He had to pull over to dry his tears so he could drive safely, thinking about the promise he had just made to MC. If anything happened to him, she would kill him.
He was starting to think he was truly cursed since the day he was born.
"Are you nervous?" Luciel asked MC as they sat in his car outside of the party venue. He noticed MC was fiddling with the ring on her right hand.
"I guess I am... This is the first party since... everything happened. I feel like if anything goes wrong, it'll be my fault. I just want everyone to have a good time today." MC sort of half-mumbled in embarassment.
"Oh don't say that, MC. I bet everyone else feels the same way, but I promise everyone will have a good time. Besides, Jaehee probably quadruple checked all the preparations, so nothing will go wrong." Luciel assured her. MC nodded and took a deep breath.
"So, are you ready?" MC nodded again and the two got out of the car and headed towards the grand venue. "M'lady." Luciel guised it as a joke, but offered her his arm. MC softly laughed and took it.
"Thank you, Luciel. For being there for me so much." MC said quietly. Call me Saeyoung... He wanted to tell her so badly. He wanted to show her who he truly was and be in her life in a different way than he was. He felt selfish since he already spent nearly every waking 24 hours with her, why wasn't that enough for him? Why wasn't he satisfied with the one good thing in his life?
"Just doing what V asked me to do." Luciel mumbled. That wasn't entirely true, but he couldn't tell her what he so desperately wanted to. In this moment he decided that she could never know his true feelings, for everyone's sake.
They entered the venue, arms linked, and greeted everyone. Luciel noticed MC's eyes sparkle with amazement at how the place looked and how many people were here. "You did this." He whispered to her. MC had no words, so she just smiled as big as she could.
Luciel thought he could die right now.
"If I didn't know any better, I would think you two are a great couple." Zen comments as the two make their way over to the other RFA members. Yoosung laughed nervously.
Maybe now Luciel would die.
Jaehee soon swept MC away to talk about more party stuff, and Zen was also taken away by a sea of paparazzi.
"Are you going to tell her?" Yoosung asked.
"Shh! And no!" Luciel hissed at him. "I can't do that to her. She's already V's."
"Who knows when the guy's actually going to show up..." Yoosung bitterly muttered. "If she falls for someone else while he's been away for two whole years, it's only his fault."
"She doesn't feel the same." Luciel sighed. "I know that already. I can see it when she reads his letters. I hear it when she talks about him. It's just not happening and I'm going to respect that."
"Luciel, you have to do things for yourself sometimes! It's okay to want to be selfish sometimes! You're human!" Yoosung was starting to get louder, and Luciel was about to hush him again when someone else cut in.
"What are you two talking about?" Jumin was done with his side conversations with various staff members.
"Oh we're just talking about some new computer game." Luciel quickly lied as Yoosung glared at him.
"Ah, I see. Since that's not in my field of expertise, please excuse me for a moment." Jumin shuffled through crowds of people until he eventually disappeared.
"I think you should tell her. I think it's better than keeping it in. MC is such a kind person, I don't think she'd think any different of you." Yoosung offered his advice once again. Luciel shook his head, but part of him thinks his friend is right. Would it really hurt to tell her? What if... possibly... she...
"Yoosung! I need your youthful help!" Zen called from a little ways away. Yoosung groaned a bit but gave one last look at Luciel. Tell her. Then he was alone.
He decided to go get a drink to avoid his thoughts, although it didn't completely work. He just kept thinking about Yoosung's silent plea. If he did confess to MC... what could go wrong? A lot, certainly, but he was willing to risk it if it meant he could live the life he dreamed about with the only person he's ever (romantically) loved. He decides to pour a drink for her, too.
He can't believe he's doing this.
Without much thinking, he starts walking around looking for MC. There's so many people here, and so many people with the same hair color, or wearing the same color she was. Where could she have run off to?
After what felt like forever, he finally tracked her down. "MC!" He called out and started picking up his pace towards her, but he quickly stops.
A man is gently cupping her face, a desperate kiss, a longing one. He was holding her so tightly, because he had missed her. Of course, Jihyun had missed her so, so much.
Luciel thought now, truly, he could be struck down dead right now. He felt such a sharp pain in his chest he thought he might actually be having a heart attack.
Lucky for him, MC didn't hear him call out to her, so he quickly turned around to go sit somewhere alone to process this. But he wasn't that lucky.
"Luciel! It's been awhile!" Jihyun had noticed him and beckoned him over. Luciel had to pull himself together, which was something easy for him, but that didn't mean he enjoyed putting on fake emotions. Especially not now.
"V! Hey! How have you been?." Luciel cheerfully greeted his old friend, who had his arm tightly around MC's waist. He swallowed hard and it stung.
"I've been alright, I decided it was time to come home." Jihyun looks over at MC, who is beaming back at him. She looked so... just happy, Luciel took note. Happier than any time she spent with him.
"Sorry, I wasn't expecting you to be here, so I brought MC a drink." Luciel hands her the drink he poured for her. "I would give you this, but I already drank out of it."
"No worries, Luciel. MC says you took very good care of her since I was gone, and I can't thank you enough." Jihyun said. MC nodded with him.
"I really owe you one Seven! I had so much fun with you, I'm going to miss us hanging out so often." MC smiled. He knew she meant well, but that last comment made Luciel feel like someone punched all the air out of his lungs. That's right, there wasn't an excuse to go see her every day now. It had been for 2 years, but Luciel felt like he didn't have enough time. He wanted so much more. He wanted the rest of his life.
"Oh don't mention it. I was just helping out a friend, and being there for another." Luciel kept up the act. But he didn't think he could keep it up much longer. "I should get going now, I think Jumin needed me for something. We can catch up soon!" Luciel started to walk off before anyone could stop him.
He pushed through the crowds of people, past Yoosung who watched the whole thing and attempted to say something to him, past Jumin's confused stare, out of the party the girl he loved worked so hard for. He sat behind the building and the tears just didn't stop. Yoosung was right. He couldn't control his emotions. He was wrong too, though. It truly could never happen. He could never have his own happy life. He knew this from the start, but he wanted to try.
His happy ending could never be his own.