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I held him as he took his final breathe . He spoke his final words to me,"If more of us valued Food,Cheer,and Song above gold,It would be A merrier world." I saw the light fade from his vibrant blue eyes. I stood by him as he watched his eldest nephew pass into the halls of Mahal .I stood by and watched as all three of them were returned to the stone*.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him and his rambunctious nephews.I see his brilliant sapphire eyes,feel his strong,thick arms around me.Sometimes I hear his rough baritone voice singing Misty Mountains. I imagine him standing in front of the fire place with his pipe hanging loosly from his lips.
I often wonder what my life would have been like if he still lived.Would I have stayed in Erebor or would I have come back to the Shire.
Apart of me died that day on that frozen lake, Ravenhill.
I never realized I loved him till it was to late.I realized it when I stood in BagEnd ,numb and terribly alone.It happened in meer seconds,all took was a glance at the fire place. And all the emotions i pushed down in fear of rejection came crashing back.
People say that finding that one person who makes your heart skip a beat at the mere mention of there name, is a blessing. Its not,its a curse. A curse follows you everywhere you go.
I have nightmares of his cold,lifeless eyes staring into mine as he holds me over the battlemounts. I always wake up before he lets go and I fall to my death.I wonder what would have happened if he never fell to the goldsickness. Would they still live? Would Fili and Kili still draw breath? I will never know but I do know that I loved them. I was and still am in love with a stuborn, pigheaded, Blue-eyed Dwark king. His name was Thorin.