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From the first day John met Harold Finch; small and unassuming, nervous and forgettable and yet somehow none of those things, his life turned upside down. From that first day when he forced himself into Reese's life, Finch gave John back a lot of things he'd never expected to have again.
He saved him, not just from Carter's curiosity but from John's own apathy. Finch gave him a job, a purpose, a reason to keep on living. He gave him not just a home base but a home.
The problem was, Finch had also given John someone else to lose.
With Jessica he hadn't realised she was even in danger until it was too late. Cara, she could take care of herself. In the CIA he'd never worried about his partners. If he was honest, he'd never really cared about them beyond their ability to do the job.
That was the problem with Finch giving John back so much of the humanity he'd lost. Humans were a social species; they saw the world through the connections they made with others.
At some point since that first day, John wasn't sure when, he'd started to see the world through Finch's eyes.