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Before you had left for your mission four days ago, you’d been noticing your girlfriend becoming increasingly distant. You often woke up to an empty bed. Wanda would be finished breakfast by the time you came to the communal kitchen to eat. She’d answer you with brief, disinterested responses whenever you spoke to her as if she wanted to finish any conversation with you as quickly as possible.
But Wanda sometimes did this when she was worried about you, terrified with how close she was to you. It was a habit of hers that she’d been trying to break. Discussions about it often stretched into the late nights with your arms around her while she opened the depths of her heart for you and you only. That was one of the things you loved about her. No matter how much time you’d spent apart, whether it be on missions or simply the trials of your everyday lives, it was always you she went to bed with. It was you she poured her heart into.
You supposed that no matter how distant she’d been before you left for your mission, it was Wanda who would be the first to greet you once you landed at the compound. Perhaps you’d bring up her recent indifference in the morning. You didn’t want to spend your first night back doing anything but being loved and loving her.
Your leg bounced impatiently as the Helicarrier descended into the compound’s landing spot. Familiar trees and fields of mowed grass greeted you through the aircraft’s windows. Warm nostalgia ran up your body at the sight of it. It had only been a few days away, but coming back home always felt like this. Coming back home to Wanda.
Natasha, Rhodes, and Clint left the ship first. You exited last. Beyond the figures in front of you, your eyes raked the landing area for orange hair. Even when the Helicarrier began closing up its cockpit, you still could not find Wanda.
“Welcome home, Avengers!” Steve greeted from the compound entrance, hands folded in front of him with legs parted.
“What was that? Shout a little louder, I don’t think I heard you the first time,” Rhodes responded sarcastically, earning a laugh from Natasha and Clint. You heard Steve shout something back, louder this time, but you couldn’t make it out. Your eyes still looked over the grassy plains.
Steve patted you on the back. “All good, Y/N?” he asked you. You supposed your distraction was visible on your face.
“All good,” you responded with a cordial smile. It was all good, right? Wanda might’ve been caught up with something, or perhaps she forgot you’d be arriving. Both scenarios were unlikely, but you couldn’t imagine any other reason for her not being there. Was she angry with you for something? Either way, you were sure that it would eventually be fine. “I’m just glad to be back home.”
The lights of the hallways seemed brighter somehow. More invasive. Everyone had gone to their respective bedrooms since you landed, but you stayed back earlier to talk with Natasha in the lobby. The more time you spent before seeing Wanda right after coming home would allow you some time to calm your nerves.
You weren’t sure why, but you felt anxious. Was everything okay between you and her? Walking down the hallway to your shared bedroom, your nails dug into your palms. It would be fine. Absolutely fine. Why wouldn’t it be? You were sure Wanda just got caught up with something. Whatever it was, you’d figure it out at some point. There was no use in worrying about it.
Taking your swipe card out of your bag, you thought you imagined hearing movement behind your bedroom door. Was it the sound of your own heartbeat? At that thought, your heart beat even faster. No use in worrying, you told yourself again. Just open the door. Step through. Wrap your arms around Wanda. Everything else would come after.
You swiped your card through the door’s reader and the doorknob clicked open. Twisting the knob, you pushed yourself through the doorway quietly after considering the possibility that she had fallen asleep.
Out of all the possibilities you imagined was the reason for why Wanda wasn’t there to see you when you landed earlier, what came next was not one of them.
Half-naked and on your bed, Wanda was on top of Vision, orange locks slipping from around her shoulders to brush against his face. She was wearing nothing but panties and a loose shirt. You did not pay attention to what Vision was wearing. Their lips are interlocked, hands wandering much too quickly for you to keep up with. Or perhaps you just don’t want to keep up with them.
A moan came from Wanda when Vision’s hand travelled up her shirt and you felt like your heart had physically been torn apart, its shreds trickling down your ribcage and setting every nerve it touches on fire.
Your chest clenched and it got difficult to breathe. You felt as if there were a dozen hands around your neck, threatening to drain the life out of you on the spot. Not a single word escaped you nor did you advance into the room. Your hand slipped from the doorknob, not even bothering with closing it as one thought blared in your mind: Get out.
You swallowed the tightness in your throat only for it to rise back up as you walked down the hallway, hands on your face as you tried your very best not to break down anywhere else but somewhere far away. Far away.
After you fled, your casted shadow had run across Wanda’s face and over Vision’s body. Her head shot up, a dozen weights dropping in her stomach at the sight of the ajar door. There was no one else who had the key to the bedroom except for you. Vision tried pulling her back down to his lips but Wanda forced herself out of his hold, nearly toppling onto the floor as she hopped off the bed as she hastily put her pants back on. She ran out of the bedroom barefooted, brushing through her hair with her fingers in an attempt to look less culpable.
Then, “Y/N!” The voice made your shoulders rise to your ears but you continued to walk. You didn’t want to run, because Wanda would run after you. You didn’t want to stop either. You kept the same speed while your entire body tensed.
Wanda grabbed hold of your arm and you writhed away from her immediately. The sudden aggressive gesture made her flinch back, retracting her hand from you. You didn’t know what you were doing until it happened.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” you shouted. Your face was warm and tears fell from your eyes when you looked back over to her. There wasn’t even a sliver of consideration of any of the nearby bedrooms in you when you shouted at Wanda as loudly as you could.
The sight of you made her feel immensely guilty, but the moment you continued shouting at her, the moment all of her guilt withered away.
“What are you doing, Wanda? What were you doing with him?” The both of you knew exactly what had been happening earlier, but a part of you hoped that exhaustion had just taken hold of you and you were simply hallucinating everything.
A glower formed on Wanda’s face and you felt as if you were sinking into the ground. You weren’t sure how your legs weren’t still anything but jelly. “You’re always like this,” she hissed. “So overbearing.”
“Are you fucking joking? That’s a joke, right?” you questioned incredulously. Overbearing? “I just saw you, my girlfriend, kissing some fucking guy in our bedroom!”
As if you had just ruffled every remaining ounce of restraint in Wanda, she snaps back, “You know that his name is Vision. He is not some guy. You treat me like a child, acting so possessive over me like this. Even he agrees.”
You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. It was completely backwards. The blatant insanity that was coming out of her mouth left you in disbelief. “Vision agrees? Or was he the one who suggested it to begin with?”
Wanda threw her hands up at her sides. “Does that even matter?”
“It does to me,” you insisted. “He has no business in our relationship. Who is he to comment on it?”
“He’s my friend.”
“A friend. I’m sure he is. Just a friend.”
A scoff escaped Wanda. “Sorry? I’m not some common fucking slut, Y/N.”
Your face contorted into sheer bewilderment. “I never said anything like that.”
“You were implying it.”
“I wasn’t!” No matter how angry you were with Wanda, you’d never say something like that, and she knew that too. “I… I just thought I was going to see you earlier when I landed. I thought you’d be excited to see me come back.”
“Why?” Wanda asked with an inquisitive shrug. “Why do you expect to be treated like some champion? You’re no better than any of us. You’re lucky any of us tolerate you here. There’s not a single person in this building who doesn’t know you’re the weakest Avenger. We have you around because we pity you. If you haven’t picked up on that yet, you’re more idiotic than I imagined.”
The whole world crumbled around you. Everything you’d ever imagined about Wanda and your relationship with her. You saw everything in her likeness. Colours were more vivid when you imagined the world through her eyes. Music sounded smoother. A happy future seemed plausible. And now, nothing. The only phrase you can squeeze out of yourself is, “I thought I was different. Different in your eyes.”
“It’s always about you, isn’t it?” Wanda knew full well that she was pulling at straws, but she hit back at your every accusation anyways, no matter how true your points were. She didn’t know what was coming over her, but each word came over her like a mighty wave- unyielding and inevitable.
A red figure appeared from your bedroom door and your hands went to your face in exasperation. Wanda turned around to look at what you had seen. Vision was approaching the two of you, an intentful glare focused on you. He walked over to you and Wanda as if he hadn’t just been feeling your girlfriend up in the bedroom you shared with her.
His arm wrapped around the Sokovian’s shoulders supportively, muttering something to her you couldn’t hear. She nodded in response to whatever he said to her.
You’d rather die on the spot than watch anymore of this. The only thing holding you up was anger. Every limb of your body felt like it weighed twenty times more than it normally did. Trembling huffs escaped you in irregular exhales, and if you had been overtaken by anguish instead of anger, they would’ve left you in sobs instead. Anger was all you had until you were ready to confront what just happened, granted you could ever come to terms with it.
“She’s not finished talking to you!” Vision called after you.
Everything in you felt like it had caught fire. You were walking, but you couldn’t feel your legs. You didn’t know when you were inhaling and exhaling, but didn’t feel like passing out. It felt like your body was moving on its own. You willed everything in you not to snap back at him and you succeeded once you realised that snapping back at him would require turning back to see his arm around Wanda.
To hell with the missions.
To hell with the entire compound.
To hell with Wanda Maximoff.
Just over three weeks pass before you find yourself heading back to the Avengers facility.
You had only seen Natasha occasionally since you left. She was all you could bear seeing from that part of your life at the time. She had told you the first day you were gone that you couldn’t keep avoiding Wanda and Vision and the rest of the Avengers. You knew she was right. You couldn’t ignore them. Not forever, at least. So, you took as much time as you wanted away from everyone but her.
As much time as it took until you were able to picture a half-naked Wanda on top of someone else but you without feeling like the whole world, with you included, felt fictitious. When who you imagined was the most solid thing about your life with the most impermeable existence turns out to be nothing as you imagined her to be, it was difficult to imagine anything else was real.
But Wanda had never played an impermeable role. She had never been as well-founded in your life as you had previously imagined she was. It was your own perception of her that had fooled you. If anyone was to blame, it was you. One cannot blame a fickle person for being fickle, but only oneself for trusting their own hearts in another’s hands.
“You didn’t tell anyone I was coming back, right? Or where I was?” You asked as you were driving down the freeway with Natasha on speaker.
Natasha was having breakfast outside while talking with you, and you could hear the occasional obnoxious chewing of what you assumed was an apple. “No,” she responded. “I said I wouldn’t. Don’t worry, you-know-who does not know what you’re up to.”
A momentary sigh came from you before you answered, “Thanks. If things go right, I’ll be able to slip in and out of our bedroom without anyone noticing.”
“I think she’s going out for groceries for dinner tonight, so she’ll be gone by the time you get here,” Natasha told you. “You have a completely clear landing area here.”
“Thank you, Nat. This means more than you know.”
“Anything for you.”
Dinner tonight was going to be homemade margherita pizza. Tony and Pepper both told the team that they’d perfected a recipe for Morgan, who’d been favouring margherita pizza over any other meal lately.
Wanda had been the one to volunteer to go out for fresh mozzarella and basil when Rhodes realised they didn’t have any. She didn’t mind. While out, she’d buy you a welcome home gift. She couldn’t shake the smile that formed itself on her lips ever since she had read Natasha’s mind and found out that you were coming home this afternoon.
It was always wrong, you told her, and she knew, to read people’s minds without permission. But you didn’t have to know she had read Natasha’s mind. Ever since the battle with Ultron, Wanda had been trying her hardest to be more responsible with her magic to avoid hurting you and the team again. She’d been so used to using her magic on impulse, namely when being weaponized for HYDRA, but you had shown her that life wasn’t meant to be lived on the command of one's nerves.
You had a big heart, you were the brightest being she had ever met, and you did not act solely based on the spur of the moment. You were headstrong and kind. A brighter future was built in her path after Pietro’s death because of you. Wanda had never known such affection and love before you.
She’d made you a promise that because she could not even begin to reciprocate the love you gave her, she’d work hard every day of your lives together to show you. Three weeks ago, she hadn’t been working towards giving you that. And, admittedly… for the past few weeks before that. But what happened those weeks ago was the first time something like that ever happened. It meant nothing. You’d understand. She knew you would.
Wanda had fought with you before, and every single time, you worked through it together, and this argument would be no different. She’d spend all the late nights that were needed to work through it with you. Together. There was nothing the two of you couldn’t get through together. It was you who taught her that.
Steve ended up calling Wanda during her grocery trip, letting her know that Pepper took a second look into the cabinets and found basil. Wanda had hung up before she could hear Pepper calling Rhodes an idiot. Only having to get fresh mozzarella meant she could arrive back at the compound earlier than planned. She could be in the bedroom the two of you shared before you came home.
Passing by the farmer’s market, Wanda was sifting through a diverse bundle of flowers, looking for your favourite kinds. She picked out several flowers she knew you loved and packed it up into a decently-looking bouquet after paying for it. It was a small gesture, but you loved flowers, especially when it was from her.
There was nothing, and no one, you loved more than her. The thought repeated in her mind like a mantra as she walked back to the compound. Nerves frayed in her rapidly. It was difficult to walk home steadily, but keeping up a composed behaviour was necessary. Wanda didn’t want to look unpresentable for the first time seeing you after weeks. Nerves only meshed with buzzing excitement as the compound came closer.
Wanda stopped by the kitchen to put the mozzarella in the fridge before heading to the bedroom. She scratched at her wrist absently as she cooled herself down. It would still be awhile until you came back home. She wished Natasha was around in order to read her mind, double-checking when exactly you’d be back.
Pulling out her swipe card, Wanda exhaled, forcing all her nerves out with it. You’d come home today. Soon. She’d hug you, then kiss your face all over, apologise, and give you the flowers she bought. She’d sit beside you at dinner tonight with her hand on your thigh. She’d walk back to the bedroom with you and fall asleep beside you. That was how the rest of the day was going to be, and by the morning, everything would be okay.
Wanda swiped her card through the reader and stepped into the bedroom, attempting to steady her inhales and exhales as she did. Her entire body froze and she stopped breathing once her head raised to look into the bedroom.
You were digging in the closet, an open half-packed suitcase on the bed.
“What are you doing…?” Wanda asked, struggling to keep her voice above a whisper. She had been so eager to see you all day. You had told Natasha several days ago when you’d be home, but Wanda only read her mind three days ago. Ever since then, Wanda had been meticulously planning everything she’d say to you once she saw you for the first time in weeks. But nothing she had planned had ever involved this.
You turned around, pushing through some clothes to look at Wanda. She was standing in the doorway of the bedroom, holding a bouquet of what you believed was a collection of your favourite flowers in two hands. “I didn’t know you’d be back so early,” you said to her before turning back around to the closet. After not having seen Wanda in weeks, that was all you could find yourself saying to her.
The blandness of your response, the lack of emotion on your face when your eyes met hers took her by surprise. Wanda stuttered out uselessly, “Yeah… I mean yes, Steve told me we had… um, basil. Are you…?” Her eyebrows furrowed and she stepped further into the room, closing the bedroom door behind her. You do not look back to her to await the rest of her sentence. You couldn’t care less if she stopped talking all at once. “Are you leaving again? You just got back. Stay a little bit.”
From behind you, you heard Wanda approach. Your shoulders raised, even after having weeks to cool off. While your arms dug through the closet, pulling out jackets and dresses that were yours, Wanda came up behind you. Arms wrapped around your waist and Wanda began kissing up the back of your neck. You flinched away from her and her arms dropped to her sides.
“Are you still angry with me?” Wanda asked. You do not know where she had the audacity to ask if you were still mad at her.
Pushing past her, you place your last few dresses into your suitcase. You have nothing to say to Wanda anymore. Everything that had nearly burst at their seams, desperate to shoot out of you without any second thought, had dissipated. Nothing Wanda tried to pull out of you, any response or reaction, would come.
“Detka. Please. Will you say something?” Wanda pleaded and wrapped her fingers around your wrist softly. Her hand slipped down to yours, attempting to hold your hand before you pulled it away to zip your suitcase up. Before wasting another second, Wanda placed her hands on either side of your face, forcing you to look at her. “I know you are angry with me. I don’t need to be told that much. But I missed you.” Green eyes gazed into yours intently.
Instead, your eyes look anywhere but at her. “You missed me?” you asked. The words came out meekly, and to Wanda, it sounded like you were moved.
“Yes. I did. So much…” she whispered. Wanda leaned forward to kiss you, eyes fluttering shut as her lips found yours for the first time in what felt like decades. Your lips were so soft. But unmoving. You were not kissing her back. Her eyes opened to see you staring at her, eyes stern. Wanda felt tears begin to prick at her eyes. It had been so long since you had last seen her, and yet… you couldn’t spend even a moment to look at her like you used to.
“I can’t imagine why. Didn’t you have Vis around to warm my side of the bed while I was gone?” you uttered out against her lips.
Wanda pulled away, looking at you as if she had just been slapped.
“You’re pathetic. I can’t believe how you’re fucking behaving right now when you’re the one who cheated on me,” you spat out and pushed her away.
Her heart sank at your words. You’d never talked to her like this before, but she understood why you started. What she had done to you, even before she’d been caught with Vision… it was unforgivable. But she and you had beaten impossibles before. After Pietro’s death, Wanda never imagined she’d ever find the ability in her to love again, but she did. Now, it was no different, but it was just your time to budge. She wouldn’t stop until you did.
“That was the first time we ever did anything like that. I promise,” Wanda told you bluntly. No matter what, she’d keep communication open with you. Anything you wanted to know, she would tell you. “We hadn’t even kissed before that night. The Mind Stone…” Wanda shook her head immediately. No. She had to take responsibility for what she did. “It was a mistake. It was a one-time thing. It was-”
“It happened on the spur of the moment. Right,” you replied simply as you headed into the washroom to pack your shampoo and toiletries into a small bag.
Panic rose in Wanda as you continued to pack your things. Why had you come back after all this time to pick your things up? Whatever the answer was, she only had a few moments left before you left the room. She needed to get as much as she could out in the open. “So, you understand?”
You recalled the thought processes you had gone through during the past few weeks, “I understand that you were ready to throw our relationship on a whim. I understand that if I hadn’t walked in on you two groping each other, you would’ve done much more without a second thought. I understand that in spite of how much you say you missed me, you were ready to betray our relationship for a quick fuck.” When you leave the washroom, Wanda is standing in the same place she was before, stupefied at what you had been saying to her.
Once you had arrived beside her again to tuck your toiletries into the top pocket of your suitcase, Wanda spoke again. “That’s not true,” she argued, stepping forward to look at you closer. “You don’t understand. I love you. I love what we have together. I wouldn’t do a thing to ruin what we have.”
“But you did.” You straightened with a tired sigh and faced her. The sudden undivided attention made Wanda slightly unsteady, but she picked herself back up quickly.
“I did.” Wanda’s head hung and she ran a hand through her hair. “I did. And I’m sorry. But you have to give me a second chance. Please. I’ll do anything to make it up to you, baby.” She reached forward to take your hands with hers and you stepped back. The action shot an aching pain through her chest.
“I should’ve fucking known you’d be like this. How little I’d mean to you.”
Tears slipped down Wanda’s cheeks and she imagined your warm hands coming up to dry her eyes, pulling her into your arms as she sobbed apologies into your chest like she’d done hundreds of times before, but that past was just that- the past. That became increasingly evident as the conversation with you went on. “Please, don’t say that. You mean so much to me, Y/N. I love-”
Shouting out angrily, you snapped at Wanda, “Stop saying that!” Perhaps you had more unresolved conflict within you than you had originally believed. The fact that Wanda still had that type of grip on you even after what you’d seen her doing enraged you in ways you could express entirely by shouting at her. “Stop saying you love me, because you don’t. You and I both know that isn’t true. I’d rather you stop lying to me.”
“What can I do? Tell me. I’ll do anything to fix this.” Sobs racked Wanda’s body as she pleaded for your mercy, begging for you to give her a resolve.
“I don’t think you can,” you replied simply. Your hand wraps around the handle of your suitcase, and without thinking, Wanda stepped forward and pressed her hands down on it, forcing you to stay put. “Wanda, stop! Let go.” You tugged on your suitcase and red tendrils formed around Wanda’s fingers before she knew what she was doing, forcing you to stay still.
She nearly caught her breath before she realised what she’d done, staring at your frozen body and your stone-cold glare in her direction. Her face was struck with guilt as her hands pressed against her chest protectively as if trying to physically prevent herself from using magic again. Her fingers peeked out from beyond her hand, smoky red coils snaking around her fingers as she unfroze you.
A furious expression formed on your face like fast-melting ice once you’ve been unfrozen. Your hand tightened around the suitcase handle and you dragged it off of the bed. The suitcase thumped down on the bedroom floor loudly, causing Wanda to flinch and step back.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry. It was an accident,” Wanda blabbered out desperately. “Shit, I didn’t mean to use my magic on you.” Her nails scratched at her collarbone in distress. Controlling her magic was one of the very first things you had helped Wanda with when you first started getting closer to her. You had never been scared of her. You never flinched when Wanda’s nerves were fraying at their edges. You were her rock, and it was because of her that a crack had split you right down the middle.
You’re headed over to the bedroom door and Wanda rushed over to you. And just like everything in her life, she imagined you would just leave her without a trace. Without warning. Without even a goodbye. You. And it was no one else’s fault but her own. When your hand reached for the doorknob, Wanda hurried forward and attempted to place her hand atop of yours before you slapped it away. Both of her hands were placed back to her chest tightly. Her lips parted to speak before you interrupted her.
“If I hear another sorry come out of your lying fucking mouth, I promise you’re never going to see me again,” you snarled out behind clenched teeth.
“Can’t you at least tell me where you’re going? I want to know that, at least.”
“Where else do you think I’m going, Wanda?”
Wanda raked through her brain, desperate to come up with an answer before you left the bedroom forever. “Are you moving back to your old room?” she asked, looking over your face for an answer. Your silence told her enough. “You’re just going to move to the other side of the compound! There’s no use putting effort into something that minimal. Please, let’s just-“
“What? Let’s just talk? I have nothing more to say, and I don’t want to hear anything you’re going to say. It may only be on the other side of the compound, but Wanda, when I woke up to an empty bed while you were fucking off with Vision somewhere in the very same building, it felt like we were lightyears away. Across the compound is enough for me.”
“I want to see you every day. Let me visit.”
“I won’t see you.”
“Why not?
“You feel compelled to visit the team’s weakest Avenger every day?”
Wanda winced at your reference to what she told you weeks ago. “You’re not the team’s weakest Avenger. If anything, I am. I’m nothing without you, Y/N. Without you, I’m unsure how I’ll even be able to control my abilities.”
You could only laugh through a breathy scoff as your hand raised to the doorknob to leave.
Wanda stepped in front of you before you could pull the door open entirely. “Don’t leave me. Please, don’t leave me. You’re all I have left. You’re all I’m ever going to have.” Her words were entwined with sobs that were torn out of her without restrain. Her shoulders trembled with her cries. You were only half-visible through her teary eyes. “My country, my parents, my brother, and now, I must face losing you too?”
Devoid of emotion or even a twinge of guilt, you only stare as Wanda weeped in front of you. You pulled the door open, making her step to the side to avoid being pushed over. “Maybe Vision will be your homerun,” you told her, looking over your shoulder as you left the bedroom.
Wanda’s hands rose to her face as she slipped down to the floor against the side of the bed, your forgotten bouquet of flowers toppling down with her as the bed dipped. Sobs escaped her as she cried into her hands. Shame racked every bone in her body.
Wanda Maximoff had never had an easy life; many of her life’s losses were due to this. And after Wanda had built up enough strength to choose her own path, she met you. She fell in love with you. She began seeing you. You were her greatest pride, your relationship her great accomplishment.
And then, she lost you.