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It doesn’t happen to you very often, not anymore. At least not as often as it used to a few years ago, when the memories were still fresh and bright.
You thought this nightmare is already in the past since it didn’t bother you for quite a long while, but there it is again, still haunting you. Air thick and suffocating from smoke; gunshots, explosions and ringing in your ears; dead bodies of your friends and enemies… blood… Lots of blood.
You gasp, starting up from your sleep, heart hammering wildly as you’re trying to catch your breath. Well, at least you didn’t scream out loud this time, you think, as you turn your head to see Booker still peacefully sleeping by your side. Another reason why the dream was so unexpected - usually after having sex you sleep soundly until the early morning, which is not surprising. Your sex with Booker is always rough, desperate and impatient. It happens after battles, while adrenaline is still boiling in your blood. You don’t need much foreplay; sometimes you don’t even bother taking off your clothes, like tonight when you snuck up into his tent. You simply wanted him to ruin you, to fuck your brains out and make you forget. It worked, but not for long - the nightmare got you anyway. Maybe the thing is that today’s battlefield was so painfully similar to the one where you died for the very first time? Apparently so.
Feeling the urge to take a breath, you sit up carefully and rub your eyes. It’s still dark, but you manage to crawl out of the tent into the chilly night air. Inhaling deeply, you let it fill your lungs. You set a camp in the mountains tonight, and you think it’s a great choice. It’s beautiful and quiet, the sky is clear - not a single cloud, and the stars are so bright you can’t take your eyes off them as you sit on the ground next to the remains of the fire.
“Hey,” Booker’s husky voice, quiet and thick from sleep, caused you to flinch.
“Sorry,” he lets out a grunt as he sits down beside you, gently throwing a blanket over your shoulders.
“Book… you didn’t have to…” you protest weakly.
“You’re gonna get cold,” he says simply. “Nightmares again?”
“Yeah…” you sigh. “Did I wake you up?”
“I’m a light sleeper,” he shrugs, a faint smile on his lips.
“I thought I’m already over it… I mean… It’s been years since I uh… Since I’m with you guys,” you murmur.
“It’s not that long. Just give yourself some more time. After all, we’re lucky to have a lot of it,” he chuckles softly.
“Right.”
You both fall silent for a while, simply watching the sky above you. Leaning against his frame, you can feel the comforting warmth of his body.
“You should get some rest,” Booker breaks the silence. “Tomorrow’s another tough day.”
“You go… I’ll be fine.”
“You won’t. You need sleep y/n, come on.” His tone is somehow both stern and gentle.
“Why do you care so much about me?”
He seems to be baffled by your question, because he hesitates with his reply.
“Don’t tell me you don’t know why,” he finally utters.
“Just want you to say it.”
Slowly, he reaches to cup your face, thumb grazing your cheekbone softly. You lean into his touch, closing your eyes as his lips find yours. It’s the sweetest kiss you’ve had in your entire life. Booker kisses you slowly, tenderly. Not even close to those feverish sloppy kisses you usually share. This time it seems like he wants to savor it. Every touch, every trembling sigh. A shiver that runs through you when his warm tongue darts to meet yours, and the way your fingers tangle in his hair.
“I think I’m falling in love with you,” he whispers against your mouth, and the way he looks at you makes your heart flutter. “It’s… been a while since I felt like this…”
“Yeah… Me too,” you reply breathlessly, pulling him into another kiss.
“Will you go to sleep now?” Booker smiles as your lips finally part.
“Alright… I should probably get back to my tent…”
“Y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you really think they ,” he nods at the other two tents occupied by Andy, Joe and Nicky, “know nothing about us?”
You bite your lip.
“I doubt that,” you admit.
“Come on then,” he gets on his feet and offers you a hand.
In the morning there’s not a single sight of surprise on your friends’ faces as they see you getting out of Booker’s tent. And you’ve never slept better.