Chapter Text
For someone who’s inexperienced to the process of being in a mutual agreement to another person and have them earn the permission of showering you with overly affectionate attention and the consent of shuddering-and-butterfly-feeling-whatever-shit-worth contact on the daily basis, or what can be narrowed down to the simpler terms of what the modern ages call “dating”, you are only bound to be careful in your very first own relationship. And at that, with someone who’s known to be the complete opposite of you.
It was something not so easy, complex it is per se. And Sangwoo didn’t know what he had in coming after the night he came to face and accept what he felt for a senior he knew through ugly chances. His past self would scoff at the thought of ever taking the step of being in a relationship with the same person he despised the most.
But screw him.
Screw the senior who everyone knows goes by the name of Jang Jaeyoung. Screw him and his stupid, pretty smile. Screw him and his little acts of service that would turn Sangwoo himself into a complete flushed mess that would leave a satisfied taste in Jaeyoung's heart. Screw him for being the very first person for Sangwoo to actually try and think of the slight possibilities of what can hold for “them” in the future.
The bottom line was – everything about it was ridiculous. Sangwoo couldn’t believe it that he had allowed himself to fall for a person who was all downright obnoxious, crazy (Don’t even underestimate it when you put crazy and Jaeyoung in the same sentence because that man was nuts! Sure, he goes completely nuts around Sangwoo only because the senior was in head over heels for him but he was still crazy in general, no human being on earth can argue with this obvious fact.), a waste of time, an error Sangwoo had long gone to fix and get rid of only to have it indulge in his life.
However, as weeks passed, months at that, Sangwoo couldn’t deny it anymore that he bore such emotions for Jaeyoung and he would find himself to continuously want him, to keep him, to be with him, to have that once walking two-legged, annoying, bright, and shining error be in his life for a very long time. It was disgusting for him to give a second thought to him but Sangwoo tolerated it. At this point, he didn’t care about anything or anyone as long as it was Jaeyoung and just Jaeyoung.
The start of their relationship was rocky at first, having to adjust to both of their contrasting personalities but somehow, for good faith, they manage to meet in between and care for one another despite their big differences. Jaeyoung was mostly the one who initiated everything at the beginning, testing out the waters to take note on what were Sangwoo’s limits in everything. From the consensual touching to the words they’d exchange.
Because Jaeyoung wasn’t stupid, Sangwoo was aware of that, Jaeyoung was just as cautious with what he would say to him. With the time they had spent together, Jaeyoung cracked through Sangwoo to find out how sensitive he could be, especially when it came to words. Sangwoo contradicted whenever Jaeyoung brought it up when it was just the two of them. And not wanting to rub it in further to Jaeyoung’s high and mighty ego, Sangwoo did appreciate his boyfriend’s concern. It was a first for him to have someone try and mold and fit right into his lifestyle.
The effort was there in perfect picture. As Jaeyoung continued to dote and look after him, Sangwoo had no other option but to fall and fall and simply fall even harder for the man who took it upon himself to sacrifice his time loving Sangwoo.
Oh, love? That was something that was still under discussion. Well, to Sangwoo that’s what he thinks because he hasn’t said those three infamous words of sentiment to him and neither had Jaeyoung.
Sangwoo had done his research. After that one morning, when he woke up in Jaeyoung’s arms with his back to the elder’s chest and his head resting on one of his arms while the other made its way to the front to interlock with his own hand. It was still early, the sun hadn't entirely set to the sky so it hadn’t beamed through the curtains yet and Sangwoo saw the discarded mess of papers, opened books, and cans of coffee across the room on his desk. The last thing he remembered was being dragged gently by Jaeyoung who begged for him to sleep with him for night and have his school work wait ‘til the next day.
He was reluctant at first at the idea to just leave his assignments and projects that were most likely not due for another two weeks but when he caught eyes of Jaeyoung’s sleepy, pleading eyes he eventually gave in and had himself pulled to the mattress. Making the decision to move in together in his apartment was rather convenient because even when Sangwoo hadn’t verbally admitted it, sleeping without Jaeyoung was officially off his list and he would feel absolutely weirded out to be tucked in with the zero presence of his boyfriend.
(Jaeyoung would occasionally and jokingly talk about those times when he’d receive calls and texts from Sangwoo in the middle of the night, asking for his “body heat” in need of winter’s time.
Jaeyoung told Yuna, Hyeongtak, and Jihye about it in one of the evenings they would spend together. Yuna took this classified information as worth as any of the gold or priceless artifacts in the world. Hyeongtak messed with his drink to clear the awkwardness he felt. Jihye giggled and side-eyed Sangwoo who was embarrassed in red.
Sangwoo had then announced that Jaeyoung was banned from kisses, hugs, cuddles, and all of the things that required touching him known to mankind for two months. And Jaeyoung was, well… frantic. That could summarize the way the senior went emotional about it, thinking of all the ways he could earn Sangwoo’s forgiveness and perhaps, maybe be nice and take it down to a month or to be nicer, a day.
Only rolling his eyes at his boyfriend’s dramatics, Sangwoo realized he should’ve played the nicer part because the moment they went home that night he was pinned to their front door the second they stepped inside the apartment and Jaeyoung had seized his lips instantly, kissing him senseless. The out of the blue act was dizzying to Sangwoo and he instinctively went to push Jaeyoung away but Jaeyoung knew him all too well, his grip on Sangwoo’s tightening and pulling him impossibly closer to deflect all unnecessary space between them, as if there were any left.
“Am I off the hook now?” Jaeyoung had asked with a smug tone when he finally leaned back a bit to take a proper look of Sangwoo, who was as expected a blushing mess.
When Sangwoo didn’t say anything, still in daze after what happened, he watched Jaeyoung revel in the way he mindlessly caressed his fingers through the back of Jaeyoung’s hair, hearing the elder hum at that. “Warning, I’m gonna kiss you again in ten seconds.” Jaeyoung then added and Sangwoo couldn’t help but notice the undenying want that mirrored in Jaeyoung’s eyes. “You can still say no, Sangwoo.”
The countdown had started but Sangwoo huffed at his boyfriend’s words. “Shut up.” He mumbled before bringing Jaeyoung down to claim back his stirring kisses.)
Deep in thought for a while, Sangwoo had then taken the pattern of Jaeyoung’s breathing against him. It was odd, something hard to explain, especially for Sangwoo who was slowly finding peace within Jaeyoung’s breathing on that specified morning. He took it in for a moment and was quite unsure with the emotion that was taking laps in his heart that he chose to shift on the bed to face his sleeping boyfriend. Right there, asleep Jaeyoung was that it brought a warm feeling over Sangwoo’s chest.
Jaeyoung was a deep sleeper but just to be sure, Sangwoo hesitated as his tiniest movements made a disturbance to come to close proximity, enough to have his one finger softly trace the side of Jaeyoung’s face. Sangwoo liked every bit of it. How Jaeyoung looked to him right then was undescribably beautiful. The harsh thudding of heartbeat made way to his ears as he kept on staring at Jaeyoung, wondering how he got himself to attract such a man. Sangwoo will never know and doesn’t mind it at all.
His index had tumbled down to the tip of Jaeyoung’s nose. Sangwoo wanted to bop it then give it a little peck. Before he could do so, Jaeyoung made a small grunt and scrunched his face rather adorably as his eyes fluttered open. And Sangwoo froze, acting as if he was caught doing something illegal and so did his hand that remained right between their faces.
There was that comfortable silence once again as Jaeyoung was looking back at him, still half asleep. He glanced at Sangwoo’s hand then back to his eyes to understand what he had been doing. Afterwards, Jaeyoung smiled.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Sangwoo thought as his own breathing stopped because in such clear vision, from the front row seat, in fucking ass 4k, in this exclusive space that only the both of them were allowed in – his own eyes witness the sight of Jaeyoung taking his frozen hand into his then pulling it close to his lips, the bottom edge of his palm meeting it. Jaeyoung had his lips lingered on it for a little while. It took everything in Sangwoo to not press further to the contact, letting Jaeyoung take care of it.
When Jaeyoung reeled his hand away he then let it lay on his cheek and averted his eyes to Sangwoo who was shamelessly speechless.
Sangwoo blinked once. Twice. They were back to staring at each other like it was only the two of them while the world faded away.
Jaeyoung had his own hand reach up to Sangwoo’s as well, the first thing was his thumb that grazed over his bottom lip.
Oh my fucking God.
Licking his lips, Jaeyoung was smiling that damn heart-throbbing smile of his as he admired Sangwoo like he was the king of the fucking world. “Good morning, Sangwoo.”
Everything around Sangwoo came crashing down and he didn’t know how he had not noticed it before. How Jaeyoung was outstandingly graceful even in the early hours of the day. How his deep, post-sleep, voice that sent a million shivers down his spine when he greeted him. How Jaeyoung smelled like fresh vanilla, lavender, citrus, rosemary thyme, petrichor – whatever was there to name but most of all, he smelled like the detergent used for the bedsheets. Home. That was what it was.
And God forbid Sangwoo wanted to run away from it, whatever was taking his senses and creeping into his heart because he didn’t want to come to terms with it just yet. He thought of Jaeyoung’s past lovers who were lucky to document out the sight before him, a bitter taste on his tongue to think about how he was not the only one who got to see this and how he selfishly wished for this to only be his from now on.
Jaeyoung had noticed how restless he looked. “Sangwoo? What’s wrong?”
I love you. Sangwoo bit the inside of his cheek. I think I do. Actually, I really don’t know. Maybe I do. I want to be certain before I tell you. But what I’m sure about is not letting anyone else have you but me. I want to be with you forever. I think I love you, hyung.
Time went on and Sangwoo was busy figuring his feelings out. And were they ever this complicated? To Sangwoo it was but it didn’t affect the way he was around Jaeyoung; rather, it only made him more comfortable with him that he had told him one day that Jaeyoung didn’t have to ask for consent every time he wanted to touch him.
In response, “Consent is sexy, my Sangwoo.” were Jaeyoung’s exact words with a wink in the end and you could probably guess it already that it made Sangwoo melt. He didn’t know what else was there to prove for him to be definite and that in over the moon skies, past mountains and oceans, Sangwoo was in love with Jaeyoung. There was nothing he could do but to at least tell him.
Oh and Sangwoo was, he was confident and he didn’t double over what Jaeyoung could say to him about it. Sangwoo wasn’t dense or oblivious. He tried not to get excited and mentioned how Jaeyoung has been weird lately. At first it was stumbling with his words as Jaeyoung tried to tell him something only to cover it up with a random excuse. His gestures had only gotten sweeter. Really, everything about Jaeyoung was out of order when he tried to tell Sangwoo how he felt.
He took a step down, thinking that he should let Jaeyoung say the words first and Sangwoo had no doubt that whatever he was assuming was not wrong (He may have accidentally slipped out some intel from Yuna but that’s not important.) and so Sangwoo stood by, amused, as he watched Jaeyoung’s failed attempts in telling him that he loves him and to be frank, it was hell of cute.
Trying not to have it distract him from his studies, Sangwoo still stood his ground whenever there was a chance for Jaeyoung.
Jaeyoung tried. Stuttered. Rambled. Failed. The cycle went on and Sangwoo found it almost too endearing and pretended to have no clue what was going on with Jaeyoung and his sudden weird acts.
Coming down to the present where Sangwoo was situated on his desk as usual while Jaeyoung lazed around in bed on his phone, he called out for Sangwoo’s attention, having the younger look over a bit at Jaeyoung who now sat up nervously. Ah, here goes another one. Sangwoo bit back a grin and dropped whatever he was doing to put focus on Jaeyoung because after the endless amount of times that Jaeyoung tried to tell him, perhaps this could be it seeing the way Jaeyoung fidgted with his fingers.
It was the first time for Sangwoo to see Jaeyoung anxious like this so he waited like they have all the time in the world which they don’t because Sangwoo has an upcoming test soon and he knew very well that he was bound to explode internally if he doesn’t get back to studying but he immediately snapped back when Jaeyoung cleared his throat. Anyone from a mile away could tell that this was it.
“Sangwoo, I have something important to tell you.” Jaeyoung started seriously, heaving out a deep breath to make straight eye contact with Sangwoo who remained unmoved by the unexpected mood that was beginning to settle in the room.
“Sure. What is it, hyung?”
Then Jaeyoung was up and moving towards him. Grabbing another chair and settling it in front of Sangwoo, Jaeyoung was now across him with his elbows resting on his knees to prevent them from shaking. “I know we have been dating for only around eight months.”
“Seven months, three weeks, and four days to be exact.” Sangwoo corrected him. “Not that it matters but look who’s counting.”
A corner of Jaeyoung’s mouth lifted at his words, his nerves going at ease. “Of course. I shouldn’t expect anything less from you, my Sangwoo.” Jaeyoung considered him for a moment, naturally putting a hand to reach for Sangwoo and Sangwoo obliged to the gesture with pure mind. “You’re not what I thought you’d be, if I’m going to be honest.”
Sangwoo’s brows lifted curiously at those choice of words. “What do you mean by that, hyung?” He inquired right away, inching down to get close to Jaeyoung and be on the same eye level with him and when he captured Jaeyoung’s eyes, he didn’t know what kind of emotion there was for him to decipher because it disappeared quick just like it had appeared for a split second.
Looking down at their tangled fingers, playing and kneading on one another, Jaeyoung sighed deeply.
He was stalling, Sangwoo noticed. He disregarded the familiar discouragement that washed over him and removed his hands from Jaeyoung. “If it’s that hard for you to tell me whatever it is you need to tell me, you don’t have to force yourself.” Sangwoo told Jaeyoung in a comforting manner, hoping it would reach his boyfriend.
But, Jaeyoung seemed so lost at the thought right then and there as if every vocabulary was taken out of him. “It’s not that I can’t tell you.” Jaeyoung said carefully. “It’s just…”
Like it was a rare sight for Jaeyoung to catch Sangwoo cry (which he hasn’t yet and Sangwoo prays that he’ll never have to cry in front of Jaeyoung), it too was not common for Sangwoo to see Jaeyoung like this. And by “this”, Jaeyoung was all small and fragile like he would break if Sangwoo were to lay a finger on him. Because Jaeyoung always carried himself highly with such confidence that Sangwoo envied a bit of that part of him but was never desperate to have it. Confidence suited Jaeyoung and when he’s not wearing it, Sangwoo could barely recognize him for what he really is.
Were saying “I love you” to his face that difficult for Jaeyoung to say that it was able to push him to the verge of being in a vulnerable state? Sangwoo didn’t have the answer to that either. He was no longer touching Jaeyoung but his gaze stayed as Sangwoo observed and analyzed Jaeyoung with the purpose of trying to understand him.
He wondered at the back of his head what would be Jaeyoung’s reaction if he were to say them right now. Sangwoo wasn’t much of a risk taker. The first time he’s ever taken a risk was when he fought the urge to correct his high school teacher about a formula that was deemed to be mistaken according to his own calculations. The second was letting all senses out of the window and chase after Jaeyoung to profess his feelings.
“This is your first relationship.” Jaeyoung commented then.
Furrowing his eyebrows, Sangwoo nodded along.
“I’m your first boyfriend.”
“And clearly, in your case, I’m not your first relationship or first lover.” Sangwoo said, still not understanding where this conversation is going. “Are we going to be exchanging facts that we know about each other now because I have a Docs file saved in my Jang Jaeyoung folder that lists everything I know about you so far.”
Jaeyoung lightly laughed. “You still have that folder? I thought you deleted it after I saw them myself.”
Sangwoo crossed his arms in protest. “It does come in handy, as a matter of fact.” He grumbled with a pout. “It’s like collecting data for a significantly long project which keeps me sane. Taking down things about you convinces me more that you are real.”
Taken back by the confession, the other put out his hand again and Sangwoo knew what he meant, fitting their palms and slim fingers through one another. “So,” Jaeyoung paused, moving his hand to wrap it around Sangwoo’s wrist and tug him towards Jaeyoung. “There are times when you think I’m a hallucination?”
“More like a dream too good to be true.” He muttered back, finding that solid comfort in Jaeyoung’s touch and having it take over his thoughts and making him feel jelly inside all at the same time. It’s quite impressive that Jaeyoung still has this effect on him even after being together for seven months, three weeks, and four days.
It was Jaeyoung’s turn to furrow his brows, processing what Sangwoo said to him while taking the feel of the boy in front of him. Sangwoo was slender and had smooth skin which Jaeyoung very much appreciates about him. “I’m a dream?”
“You are a dream too good to be true.” Sangwoo repeated. “There are times when I would think of how it was even possible for me to keep someone like you in my life. You pestered me when we first met, I hated your guts enough to wish death upon you –”
Jaeyoung’s hands stopped moving.
“– which I don’t wish for now, of course.” Sangwoo glared at Jaeyoung who feigned hurt. Jaeyoung sent a smile his way, catching Sangwoo off guard while his heart betrays to keep beating rather harshly for Jaeyoung who always, always manages to make him go weak. “Idiot.”
“Your idiot.” Jaeyoung proudly declared.
Sangwoo squinched his face up, “That’s too cheesy to say, don’t you think?”
Tutting his one unoccupied finger to the typical no-no sign, Jaeyoung tilted his head to the side to grin at Sangwoo. “What could be more cheesy than you dating and living, might I say, with said idiot?”
Imitating a disgusted gag, Sangwoo successfully got Jaeyoung off him to stand up and escape from whatever dialogue he was bound to get trapped in if he stayed a second longer. The purpose of their talk was long forgotten and it ended up with Jaeyoung swooning and sweet talking to him. Like Sangwoo would voluntarily sit around for that, he excused himself to go shower to avoid Jaeyoung for a while.
When he grabbed a towel, it was taken from his hands from behind right away. “Hey –!” He choked on his own words, stiffening at the body pressed behind him and a pair of lips attacking the side of his neck. “Jaeyoungie hyung,” Sangwoo warned.
“I’m right here, Sangwoo.” Jaeyoung said against his skin, the vibration sending all over Sangwoo’s neck.
Rolling his eyes, Sangwoo went to hold the strong arms around his waist and struggled to set free from them. “No shit, Einstein. Now get off me.”
“Where are you going?”
“To shower?” He answered with an obvious tone.
Jaeyoung left his neck to have his nose travel up to the shell of his ear. “Let me join you,”
Sangwoo shook his head. “I’m only going to be a room away. Not a million of miles.”
Then he was spun around and that took his breath away. He was now chest to chest with Jaeyoung and was greeted with darkened eyes which Sangwoo knew well enough about and what it meant. “You’re such a pain sometimes. Why do you have to be a logical smartass when I try to sweep you off your feet?”
Biting the bottom of his lip gently, not for the reason to tease Jaeyoung, but because he tried hard not to smile to give him the satisfaction. “Won’t I get hurt if you do sweep me off my feet? I’d literally fall to the ground if that happens. Gravity still exists.”
“I’ll be there to catch you. You know, like a damn prince charming.”
“And you think I would let you?”
“As if I would let you fall to the ground and crack your head open.” Jaeyoung remarked, leaning down to nuzzle his nose with Sangwoo’s and that also gave them both a direct eye contact. “Your brain would be too precious for that.”
Looking past his eyelids, Sangwoo raised a hand to flick Jaeyoung on the forehead before putting it back to where it was with his other and that was settled on Jaeyoung’s chest, palm pressed flat. “I never took you for the romantic type.”
“Oh, you wound me.” Jaeyoung pressed a soft kiss to Sangwoo’s cheek. “How else was I able to snatch all the lads and gals wherever I go?”
Sangwoo gave a light hearted shrug. “Don’t know. Don’t care. But do tell me their names and social security number.”
“What for?”
“Scientific research purposes.”
Jaeyoung was having fun with this. Seeing Sangwoo ticked off about his past relationships which were rarely talked about but it still brought him over the edge of possessiveness and insecurity. And Jaeyoung sensed Sangwoo’s now tensed mind, tipping his head up to give his forehead a kiss as well. “Don’t you worry because from here on out, you’re the only one I want.”
“I’m not jealous.” Sangwoo mumbled under his breath.
Amused, Jaeyoung bent away to give some space so that he could hold one of Sangwoo’s hands and he did the exact same thing that made Sangwoo realise that he loved him. An innocent kiss to his palm was what did it. “You implied it though.” Jaeyoung said cheekily, his touch warm and sending Sangwoo to a spiral series of emotions.
Sangwoo scoffed, “Do you ever stop talking?”
“Not with you, no. Someone’s got to level with you and your smart mouth.”
“Well, someone’s got to put you in your place.”
Out of habit, Jaeyoung licked his lips as they twitched to smile even more and Sangwoo hoped he wouldn't because he didn’t think he could deal with another one of his beautiful smiles tonight. “I’m going to kiss you, Sangwoo.”
He watched Jaeyoung’s flicker down to his lips then back to his eyes. Sangwoo made a move to have his hands clung to Jaeyoung’s neck. “Asshole.”
“Your asshole.”
“Now I’m starting to think how I even put up with you.”
“Because I’m an extremely handsome, attractive web designer who is talented in lots of things.”
Sangwoo didn’t say anything, pressing his lips to a thin line.
“...Because I’m a great kisser? Come on Sangwoo, don’t give me the silent treatment. Just so you know, there are still a lot of things I haven’t shown you yet.” Jaeyoung rambled as if he were trying to prove a point but to Sangwoo, he only looked more stupid as he went on. “And if you’re curious, all you have to do is just ask but you wanna know what I'm mostly intrigued about? What it would be like to have you under –”
Shutting him up, Sangwoo did. He surged forward to plant a big one on Jaeyoung’s lips, welcoming the bursts of fireworks and the thundering beat of his heart when he felt the texture of Jaeyoung’s lips on his.
Jaeyoung stilled against him, his arms stopped as he was shocked by Sangwoo’s bluntness. His eyes were wide open when Sangwoo leaned away, cheeks flushed cutely that it had Jaeyoung to only draw Sangwoo back to him and kiss the daylights out of him. Sangwoo responded earnestly, relaxing himself in Jaeyoung’s arms as the older took charge to take him apart simply by the usage of his mouth.
Every kiss he shared with Jaeyoung was overwhelming, igniting a fire into his heart and leaving a trail of goosebumps over his skin. Sangwoo is not entirely sure if he’ll ever get to feel something like this with someone else other than Jaeyoung and he honestly didn’t complain about that. With Jaeyoung being the only person to make him lose control, Sangwoo would easily submit and try to give back just as much.
And just like now, he allowed Jaeyoung to dominate. Having his bottom lip licked over and pulled until he opened his mouth, Jaeyoung took the opportunity, swallowing Sangwoo’s gasp and kissing him with equal fervor and a passion that can’t be compared. His senses were still heightened as he could tell where all of Jaeyoung’s touch lingered – from the small placement of his lower back to rubbing gently at his hip bones proceeding north to cup his face and caress his cheeks lovingly as the elder continued and continued to shower his powerful feelings into that lone kiss. Sangwoo let it infiltrate his system, taking him piece by piece to having evolved into something better and he loved every second of it.
Sangwoo didn’t realize it later on but he was standing a bit on tippy toes whereas Jaeyoung accommodated to the height difference, inclining down all for the goal to meet Sangwoo in the middle and have him all to himself. And to all of Jaeyoung, Sangwoo was. Jaeyoung abandoned Sangwoo’s lips to have his move to the side of his jawline and nip lightly.
As always, Sangwoo let Jaeyoung take care of him. He let his boyfriend go further as to peppering his neck and throat with open-mouthed kisses, the process clouding Sangwoo’s mind. Sangwoo whimpered quietly when he felt teeth that began to sink in which made Jaeyoung snap to go back to his lips and devour him once more. It was also quite funny to Sangwoo to see the mutuality effect they had for one another and he could only smile at that thought of being someone who can make Jaeyoung go crazy.
He didn’t stop grinning, not too much that it would reach his eyes but enough for Jaeyoung to know. Jaeyoung gave one last peck to the corner of his mouth before giving in to incline back. Silenced followed after that as they took in each other’s existence, Sangwoo’s hands carding through Jaeyoung’s hair while Jaeyoung’s were snaked around his waist. It was so quiet that they only heard each other’s pants.
Looking, by only looking at those dilated pupils, Sangwoo was still fogged up. He felt the need to say something, he wanted to say it. He spoke with his eyes to give a heads up to Jaeyoung who seemed to know what’s about to happen. Sangwoo parted his lips, contemplating, “Jaeyoungie-hyung. I lo –”
“You should go ahead and shower.” Jaeyoung cut in, separating himself from Sangwoo to exit the room to the kitchen.
What?
Dumbfounded, Sangwoo had Jaeyoung let go of him to walk out. Probably thinking that Jaeyoung was craving a midnight snack, Sangwoo didn’t think too much about it and did go to the bathroom yet his head pondered over what just happened. The thrilling atmosphere had evaporated just like that before Sangwoo could comprehend it and Jaeyoung was increasing the distance between them.
Running a hand through his scalp, he looked at himself in the mirror as he came fresh from out of the shower and was dressed in his pajamas with his hair damp. The mirror was fogged, reflecting the current state of Sangwoo’s mind. “Did I do something wrong?” He asked himself, squinting his eyes at his reflection.
Overthinking was another waste of time so he put an end to whatever was threatening to cut through him. Jaeyoung couldn’t have known what he was going to say at that moment because even if he did, he wouldn’t back away like it was something he was scared to go over with when that’s what he has been trying to do to Sangwoo for the past few days. It simply didn’t make sense. The math wasn’t adding up.
Sangwoo sought it being useless so he threw his head towel over his shoulder to finish up. He went straight in search for Jaeyoung first in their bedroom then assumed his boyfriend was in the kitchen. Except, he wasn’t there. Sangwoo looked to their front door and at the floor to where they place their shoes and surely enough, Jaeyoung’s were gone.
No way. He wouldn’t. Sangwoo held his breathing tight as he scanned the apartment for any sign of Jaeyoung. If Jaeyoung left he would have told him in advance by knocking on the bathroom door to inform him. Not just vanish. He’s never done that. In all their times of dating, Jaeyoung knew how antsy Sangwoo can get if things were to happen without his knowledge about it beforehand so Jaeyoung made a practice of it to tell Sangwoo if ever something came up and that he would have to go.
If he were to leave. And Jaeyoung left. Without telling him.
Even if he had only taken a bath recently, Sangwoo can feel sweat starting to trickle down his temple as he studied through all the reasons for Jaeyoung’s sudden disappearance. “Should I call him?” Sangwoo did. No answer. Jaeyoung’s phone was shut down. He glanced over at the clock hanging on the wall and it was around two in the morning already. “Where can he possibly go at this hour?”
He tossed his towel aside to go to the fridge and get a bottle of water to at least calm down. Sangwoo hated this. Jaeyoung knew better than to leave without him knowing. Jaeyoung knew or could he have forgotten about it? Or was Sangwoo overreacting and acting like a mad, possessive boyfriend who believes his boyfriend can’t go anywhere unless he has his permission? He cringed at the image of himself being like that.
Not knowing how to take it, even if he saw the note pasted to the fridge that Jaeyoung left that said along the lines that he will be staying with Yuna for the night because she technically needed someone at the moment. Was that supposed to make him feel better or worse? If it was something regarding Yuna, Jaeyoung could simply tell him vocally and not be required to leave a written note for him to find.
Crumpling up the paper into a ball before throwing it to the nearby trash can, Sangwoo headed to their bedroom. It became somewhat colder without Jaeyoung with him. Sangwoo didn’t want to seem clingy, though. He ought to brush away all the unnecessary thoughts in his head and go to sleep. He’ll see Jaeyoung when the sun comes up and classes for the day will start anyway.
Finding himself in front of a vending machine with Jihye was where he was instead of hanging around with his senior boyfriend. Jihye must’ve noticed his twitching facade, uncomfortable at that, but didn’t bother to mention it which Sangwoo was grateful for.
Jaeyoung hasn’t called or texted yet.
Sangwoo didn’t fuss about it. Although, some part of him wanted to. It wasn’t also like Jaeyoung to not annoy the heck out of him first thing in the early morning so it did bush Sangwoo’s buttons to complain. Annoyed, he downed his morning coffee and bid Jihye goodbye to go to his first class with the troubling emotions dragging behind him. Should he call and text Jaeyoung again? Yes. Again. Last time Sangwoo checked, he left thirty seven unread messages and rang the elder’s phone about eighteen times.
The boy stopped on his tracks, his face contorting to something unreadable for others. He couldn’t believe it himself that he was acting like this. Why should he worry? For all he knew, Jaeyoung could still be asleep in Yuna’s place and will most likely be late for today’s classes. So he continued down the hallway, glancing to one corner before moving forward at a group of loudness and placed a neutral expression on when he caught eyes with one of them. The stranger was probably a grade above him, he had his hair dyed to blue and there was a small scar marked over the side of his right cheek.
Not wanting to be late, even when he was already falling behind his schedule of not being in the classroom one minute and forty seconds ago, he gave the boy who gaped at him an uninterested look and turned to another corridor. He was in his designated class before the teacher arrived but he was still two minutes and eleven seconds late. Sangwoo mentally scolded himself for that.
Classes went by like a blur. Sangwoo had put all his focus on each subject as usual until it was time for the one hour lunchbreak. There was still nothing from Jaeyoung and Sangwoo was bitter about it, especially considering that his messages weren’t even seen yet. This wasn’t going to be the first time they ignored each other in their relationship of course. Most of the times it was for stupid and pointless reasons during their stupid and pointless little fights. This might as well be another one and this time Jaeyoung is playing the tantrum child.
He ate lunch with Jihye, running over the recent topics they learned today since they were both in the same department. “Did you and Jaeyoung sunbae have a fight?” She asked him as they packed up from their table.
Sangwoo felt the need to say no but in all honesty, he doesn’t know. Nothing bad went wrong last night in the bedroom. They did their usual stuff, bickering over their own ways. Last night was a normal everyday for them so he didn’t think they fought yet Jaeyoung was out there acting like they had. Sangwoo decided to say no with a forced smile. “He could’ve gotten drunk with Choi Yoochae and they’re both too hungover to attend class today.”
Jihye nodded, slipping on her bag. “Why am I not surprised? They’re both drinking buddies after all. Poor Hyeongtak. Bet he had to stop them before they died of alcohol.”
“Speaking of,” Sangwoo hesitated, remembering the note Jaeyoung left on their fridge and turned to Jihye with furrowed eyebrows. “Did something happen between you and Choi Yoochae again? Jaeyoung hyung did say she needed company. That’s why he wasn’t with me last night.”
They were now standing to dump their lunch trays. Sangwoo waited for Jihye’s response, getting rid of all his leftovers to the bin. “Nothing negative in particular.” Said Jihye, tapping her fingers on the edges of her books carried in her arms. “We’re doing great. Taking things slow. Yuna unnie is very understanding.”
“I never thought you would swing that way, to be honest.”
Laughing at him, Jihye only smiled warmly. “Me either. But I guess Yuna unnie helped me realize it.”
Sangwoo pursed his lips. “So in other words, she was what you call your gay awakening?”
Jihye snorted as they rounded another aisle to exit the lunch area and to the next building. “You saying that is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. Aside from that time when we were all out drinking and you were drunk as hell. Red cheeks and all. Then you most likely forgot that you and Jaeyoung weren’t alone ‘cause you lost your marbles and –”
“Remember that time when you had a crush on me?”
That quieted Jihye down as she halted with puffed cheeks and flustered eyes. “Do you seriously have to bring that up every time?”
Shrugging, Sangwoo pivoted his heels to Jihye’s direction with a smirk. “If that gets me to win in a conversation with you then yes. I will bring it up every time.” He let Jihye roll his eyes at him. “You’re lucky I haven’t said it in front of Choi Yoochae.”
“Oh yeah. Totally thankful for you not risking your balls to say something like that in front of her because as much as I like you as my friend, Sangchoo oppa, I would trade it in for anything to see her wind you down from your high horse.”
“I already have Jaeyoung hyung for that.”
“I thought you were doing the humbling between you two?”
“Oh, you are most definitely correct.”
Pressing her lips into a thin line, Sangwoo knew she was about to say something to tease or provoke him. “Nah. You’re getting way too confident recently. I’ll have to put in a request to Jaeyoung sunbae to have his egotistical behavior tone down a bit before his mini lover combust.”
Sangwoo choked. After Jaeyoung, Jihye has been ranked up to be second of all people in the world who can get to him. It wasn’t something Sangwoo appreciated but he tolerated if it were to make Jihye at least have fun. “May I remind you that I was the one who introduced you to Choi Yoochae.”
He gave her a moment to run over what she should say next. Sangwoo gave her a flat look when she can’t obviously think of any smart comeback. “Alright, fine. You win this time.”
“Again.” Sangwoo pointed out, a small smile forming on his lips.
“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Jihye walked over to Sangwoo and in silent agreement, they continued down the hallway while the noises around them buzzed out. “Will you make up with Jaeyoung sunbae later?”
Another question Sangwoo didn’t know the answer to. “I hope so.”
She gave him a questioning look, one that nearly knew he was doubting it. “You both will. Jaeyoung can’t stay away from you for more than even a day. Or a second.”
It was so easy for Sangwoo to doubt that statement because if it were true, where is Jaeyoung now? Sangwoo began to wait on him again. At first, he thought he would find Jaeyoung back at the apartment when he gets there so that they’ll reconcile and go back to how things were before. Jaeyoung wasn’t home.
Going back to an empty apartment chilled Sangwoo down to the bone when he called out for his boyfriend first thing when he entered only to be greeted back with cold silence. Calling, texting, Sangwoo had the feeling that if he were going to dial the senior’s number again he’d be utterly annoyed and block him just for the stress relief. Because Jaeyoung wasn’t here beside him, he wasn’t answering, Sangwoo didn’t know what to do.
The fast pacing of his heart wouldn’t decrease. Sangwoo breathed out frustratingly before making a quick visit to his closet to grab a sweater and his hat. His hands hovered at the ball cap that he hasn’t worn for awhile but when Jaeyoung’s absence was pulling down his sense of confidence and security, his hat provided that.
He took a once over of the apartment, a bitter bite taking in his gut as he left to go Jaeyoung’s studio to see if he was there.
Leaving with heavy disappointment weighing over his shoulders, Sangwoo knew he was being ridiculous. But to find out that the studio was locked, Yuna was also out of reach, and to bring this small problem of his to Jihye was absolutely out of his control. Sangwoo managed to sleep it off the first night, the throb in his head may be worsening but that didn’t stop him from acting as if everything was going to resolve itself soon and that Jaeyoung was still somewhere, just not in contact at the moment.
Who knows really, maybe he’s not the main reason for Jaeyoung’s disappearance on him. Maybe a relative died and he didn’t want to tell Sangwoo since they never talked about their family relations. Or maybe Jaeyoung needed space and to make better preparations to tell him that he loves him. Sangwoo pinched himself at that thought. Not everything is about you, Chu Sangwoo.
Nothing has ever been about Sangwoo. He was never the center of attention. That was Jaeyoung. He was never the social butterfly or life of the party. That was Jaeyoung. He wasn’t the one who proposed the idea of moving in together. That was Jaeyoung. Everything, every bit, all portions that would define “life” was Jaeyoung and he made Sangwoo actually feel alive and moving, even making the choice of making his schedule more flexible for them both.
And he can’t stop thinking about it. Days have passed, then it turned to weeks. Not too long, it would be about a month since he had last seen or heard from Jaeyoung and if that wasn’t enough to drive him over the edge of insanity then that would be inhumane of him. Jaeyoung’s existence over Sangwoo was slowly decipitating into what has never been there before. It was like Jaeyoung was never there.
On that morning, when it had been two weeks and five days when Sangwoo wasn’t with Jaeyoung, he woke up and felt the familiarity of being alone. He didn’t get up to check with fainted hope that Jaeyoung would be in the kitchen cooking him breakfast. He didn’t bother to read over his notifications for anything from Jaeyoung. His craving for Jaeyoung’s touch was dying down.
He made his bed. Done his morning exercise. Got ready for school. Wore his hat. And rode the bike.
Sangwoo won’t allow himself to feel more miserable than he already was with his pathetic life all for a man who was supposedly his boyfriend. Were they still together? Were they still considered lovers? Why? Why? God, why? Where was Jaeyoung? Where had he gone to leave Sangwoo in the dust?
Pressing on the brakes of his bike to have it screech to a stop, Sangwoo bit back the sob that threatened to escape out of him and forced the lump in his throat down and the sting of tears that blossomed in his eyes. This was so stupid that Sangwoo wanted to laugh at himself for it. He was not about to cry for a not-so-good reason. Remembering back to when Jaeyoung told him how stubborn he can be sometimes, Sangwoo will do just that and not give in to the experience of breaking down over a person.
He cleared his throat as he gathered himself. It was only seven in the morning, this can’t be happening to him now. He pushed off the ground with his foot and pedaled to the university where things are consistent as far as he was aware of. Sangwoo didn’t care for the rumours that would float each day, the daily gossip and juiciest tea. He didn’t care a damn thing about it, biking past all of it to let the day happen as it should through his schedule. It still hadn’t occurred to him and he was glad it never did nor will it in the near future. He’ll get through college like planned if he had to pretend that Jang Jaeyoung was never a part of his life. Or had left an impact on it.
Shaking out of his daze, he got off his bike once it was parked to turn his direction straight to his classroom. But should he check? Just to be sure?
Sangwoo squeezed himself. No. Get over it. He won’t be there.
But what if he will be?
“Fucking what-ifs.” He grumbled to himself and had his feet go the newly added route to his routine which was to Jaeyoung’s studio. He still had time as always before the first period began, making it fast to his destination which was a few blocks away and he never minded going on foot.
This had become a part of his everyday. To check the studio that was locked for two weeks and five days. And every time he found himself in front of the door of the studio, he hated himself even more for being this weak and desperate. Who cares if Jaeyoung was finally back to where he usually was – on his swivel, facing the computer as he typed away with such professionalism, doing what he’s most talented at while snacking on unhealthy, disgusting food that Sangwoo grew to tolerate all because it was something Jaeyoung like – Sangwoo very much cared.
Despite his forced ignorance in the apartment, he kept wishing that Jaeyoung would be waiting for him at the studio instead with his playful smile and welcoming arms where Sangwoo longed to belong. Sangwoo never thought deeply about the chances of him losing it, losing what he had with Jaeyoung, until recently when Jaeyoung still hasn’t returned. It didn’t take long for him to admit and realize that he took it all for granted.
His hugs, cuddles, kisses, sweet-nothing words, his teases, his little quarrels over meaningless things – Jaeyoung, Jaeyoung, Jaeyoung. The man dared to put a permanent mark on Sangwoo’s life so Sangwoo would be damned if he didn’t give a fucking dime of concern over his boyfriend’s whereabouts.
Even when he knew that he shouldn’t expect much, even when he knew the door was going to be locked and that there won’t be anyone on the other side of it, even when there’s nothing he can gain from walking all the way over, Sangwoo still went. Adjusting the straps of his backpack, he got to stand in front of the heavy door with a stiff stance. No one was in the building when he came, the same thing as always. The next event would be him giving a knock on the door then turn to head to his class.
Knocking while holding his breath, he started counting to ten with his eyes closed.
Jaeyoung won’t appear in front of him. Sangwoo knew that too. He continued counting, nearing zero.
Five.
Please. Please. Come out of the door.
Four.
Three.
Jaeyoung hyung. Please.
One.
See?
One and one-half…
This was pointless, Chu Sangwoo.
Zero.
Sighing inwardly, he kicked the door with the edge of his foot. With the feeling of such utter defeat, Sangwoo wanted nothing more than to go back to the apartment and bury himself in the sheets of his bed that smelled like that laundry detergent. Does Jaeyoung still smell like that too? Would he after being away from home for so long?
He didn’t want to delve further into that question in his head, ready to take his leave and really debate on whether he should come back tomorrow. “I miss you.” Who would’ve thought these words would carry so much more sensibility than any of the remaining 1,100,370 in the Korean language and here Sangwoo was, saying it to a fucking door that wouldn’t return the same feeling.
Sangwoo was going to be late. Forty seconds in and counting. But, he couldn’t bring it within himself to move when he heard rummaging from inside the studio.
Eyes wide, he stood and waited for anything else. The air surrounding him went dry when the doorknob twitched as whoever was inside pry the door open with such haste.
“Woah, Chu Sangchoo?”
“Choi Yoochae-ssi?”
Yuna grinned, pulling the door open fully. “Wah, Chu Sangchoo. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” She stepped aside for him to enter, walking ahead of him as he shut the door behind him. “You should’ve told me you were coming otherwise I would have cleaned up a bit in here for you.”
Understanding what she meant a second late, the place was indeed a mess but the whole disarray didn’t put Sangwoo in an uncomfortable position ever since he came in. Not when he was too focused on the girl in front of him who crossed the room carelessly. He played with a loose string at the end of his sleeve, shifting on his feet like it was his first time coming here.
It felt weird being here. Finally being inside here. What Sangwoo expected didn’t come to life. There was still no Jaeyoung.
Tightness clogged up in his throat. Sangwoo licked his lips, gazing towards Yuna who sauntered to the mini fridge. He still hasn’t said anything. In all honesty, he didn’t know what to say but border up a wall between him and her because Yuna could read people like an open book and Sangwoo had the feeling that if she were to look over at him one more time, she’d instantly figure out what’s been going on with him and Jaeyoung.
Glancing over her shoulder, Yuna put out a can of soda for him to have. “You want some?” She took his answer of no with a shrug then turned back to the fridge to grab three cans for herself whilst tossing a portion of her long hair behind her shoulder.
Sangwoo headed over to the couch and waited for her to settle across him with a chair. He discreetly avoided wrappers of trash on the floor on his way, flinching at anything that touched him when he sat and when he had composed himself, he could feel Yuna’s burning stare.
Yuna folded one leg up with it pressed against her upper body. “So, Chu Sangchoo,” Sangwoo gulped when she popped the can open and a hissing sound came out of it. “How’s your studies for the exams going?”
Frowning at the sudden question, he went back to playing with the string on his sleeve while Yuna chugged down her drink like a thirsty animal. “Preparations are going well.” He answered, balancing out the pained and neutral tone in his voice all in one to not raise any suspicion from Yuna.
“Hmm, and what brings you here?” She asked. “‘Cause clearly, you wouldn’t be here to see me. Unless Jihye sent you, of course.”
Sangwoo scowled. “I’m not your personal messenger. If you’ve got whatever shit you both want to say to each other, do it yourself.”
Raising her hands up in defense, Yuna put down her drink on the coffee table and laughed at Sangwoo’s outburst. Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on her knees and narrowed her eyes at Sangwoo. “Someone’s grouchy early in the morning.” She commented which earned her a fair glare from Sangwoo.
The burn forming over the tip of his finger as he rolled with the string was the last thing keeping his words in control. “And you’re still as blunt as ever.”
“I see someone’s got their panties in a twist.” She waved him off when he tried to process that phrase. “What? Did you and Jaeyoung have another lovers’ spat?”
That had Sangwoo press his lips into a thin line.
Yuna gasped, “Am I the one who’s going to be playing messenger today? Well, I don’t mind that one bit. So get over it and tell me what you wanna say to Jaeyoung. I’ll deliver it to him word to word.”
Shaking his head at the craziness laid before, he sighed tiredly as he tried to match her energy. “Jaeyoung hyung and I didn’t have a fight.” He told her because that’s what Sangwoo believes. Unless he finds out the reason why Jaeyoung won’t contact him or go home, this situation is a one-sided misunderstanding and most certainly not a fight.
“Then,” She leaned back on her chair with her arms crossed. “Why are you here? Jaeyoung must’ve told you he wouldn’t be at the studio today ‘cause he’s got somewhere else to be. So, you must be here to talk to me.”
Sangwoo thought about it for a moment. He looked at Yuna, studying her and it was clear she didn’t know that Jaeyoung had been avoiding him. “Actually,” Sangwoo clamped his teeth tight to restrain himself. “I have been meaning to talk to you. About Jaeyoung.”
He must’ve slipped accidentally by the way Yuna reacted to his words that she shot up from her seat with an immediate change of emotion in her eyes. “What did that bastard do again? Did he say something stupid? Did he do something stupid?”
Lifting his head to meet her gaze, he raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re not implying that Jaeyoung cheated on me, right?”
She blinked twice, realizing she had the outburst this time and sat back down with cheeks flushed. “Of course not. Jaeyoung cheating on you will be a one in a fucking billion chance. That man is shit in head over heels for you.”
Not knowing why but what she just said sent warmth to his heart that Sangwoo smiled to himself. “Do you really think so?” He couldn’t help but ask Yuna.
“Do I think so? I know so.”
Sangwoo motioned her to expound on that.
“I mean, I’m constantly the one who has to go through every blabber about you from Jaeyoung’s mouth. He talks about you like you hung the stars in the sky. As if you were the one who first came up with the idea of clothes.” She exaggerated, shaking her drink in one hand. “Clothes, Chu Sangchoo. Clothes. Heck, I don’t think even a single person on earth knows who came up with the idea of that but yeah, Jaeyoung talks about it like you did with such praise. Like, have you seen him talk about you? Fucking sparkles in his eyes if we were in some comic, I tell you.”
By this time, Sangwoo’s cheeks were beeting red as he listened to Yuna who spoke with zero care in the world about it. “Sometimes, you can be so unbelievable.” He said, covering up his croaked voice with a cough.
One side of her mouth lifted, she raised her drink with the move like she was going in for cheers with Sangwoo in the air. “I will take that as a compliment.”
Shaking his head for the umpteenth time, he tugged at his checkered polo’s collar while fixing himself on the couch. “I do have something to talk to you with which is about Jaeyoung like I mentioned earlier.”
Cocking her head to the side, she accepted the seriousness in him and placed all her attention on him. “I’m all ears, Chu Sangchoo.” She assured him with confidence.
“Remember when you told me that Jaeyoung plans to tell me he loves me –”
“Speaking of which! How’s that working out for you two? Did you say it back? I mean, of course you did. You told me yourself you love him too. So what now? Did y’all plan a wedding already? Will I be the best man? I don’t care whose, really.”
“Choi Yoo –”
“Okay, maybe marriage is a bit of a stretch. What I need are details after that. Did he kiss the life out of you? Oh! Did you guys have the most blissful sex ever because you both finally said –”
“He didn’t say it.”
Yuna seemed to not believe Sangwoo right there. “Come again? He didn’t say it?”
It was the harsh truth Sangwoo kept to himself for so long now that admitting it out loud was a punch to the gut. “No. He didn’t. Which is what I needed to talk to you about and I’m going to be straightforward with you from here on,” She gave him the go signal when he asked beforehand. “Was he with you on the night of the fifth?” He questioned, an answer he wanted one to that had been eating him up.
“On the fifth? Yeah, I can recall because that was the night before I left to go to my hometown for family issues. He suddenly called me up to say he was staying over.” She informed without thought but the gears in Sangwoo’s head started coming to life. Because, in other words, Jaeyoung lied to him.
“I asked why then assumed you both fought but he said you needed space because exams were coming up.”
“He said that?” There was the odd churning in his stomach, trying to make all of what she said sense. “I never needed space when I had to study for exams, though.”
Nodding along, Yuna got up to grab her phone from the desk. She handed it to Sangwoo with it open and she presented the messages exchanged between her and Jaeyoung to confirm it more to him. “Even I thought it was funny. You’re Chu Sangchoo so you can easily ace those exams. But I didn’t want to be nosy so I let him stay without question.”
He ran through this over and over. “Did he tell you anything else in person? Like why he’s been avoiding me.”
Furrowing her eyebrows at him, Yuna put out her hand for her to retrieve her phone. When Sangwoo gave it back, she slipped it into her back pocket. There was a stern look on her face, Sangwoo noticed as she was starting to think deep too. “What do you mean he’s been avoiding you? He said he wouldn’t be away from you for too long and just needed a place to crash for a while.” Her fingers slid round the brim of the can of soda. “How long has it been?”
Sangwoo answered. “Two weeks and five days.”
“Shit. That long?” She watched him nod numbly. He sensed that she was starting to understand the given situation, with a long face Yuna crushed the can around her nimble fingers. She asked for all the details from start to present and Sangwoo was more than willing to explain everything to her. Sangwoo appreciated the way she listened without interrupting. “Oh, that fucking jerk. He lied to you.” She conclued when he finished his part of the story.
“And I’m trying to know what I did wrong,” Sangwoo muttered lowly. “If I made a mistake from my end however, I really can’t think of anything. I thought we were doing just fine.”
“Please,” Yuna scoffed, leaning on her chair again. “The whole world believed you both were going to hit it off after you graduate. Of course you were doing fine. What I don’t understand is why he lied to you in the first place.”
Sangwoo stayed quiet, hesitating to ask another question. Truly, Sangwoo had an endless amount of questions now that he had told Yuna. He made direct eye contact with her, letting her see the fear in his eyes. “You don’t think he –”
“No,” She cut in almost too immediately. “No matter how much of a dick Jaeyoung can be, he wouldn’t cheat on you so don’t go worrying about something like that.”
Unlike all of the things Jihye told him, he trusted and believed Yuna’s words right away because she was someone who knew Jaeyoung longer than him. She knew his boyfriend well enough to defend him about one thing so it would be a smart choice to not doubt Jaeyoung ever cheating on him. He sniffed, not sure what else there was for him to say. “Well, what do you suppose I should do now?”
As if she was waiting for him to ask that, her phone was brought back to view. “You’re going to confront him about it. I love Jaeyoung and all but man, he can be quite the handful.” He let her do whatever on the gadget in her hands, the sounds of typing loud in the quiet studio. “I only gave him access to my place for two days. That’s it. So who fucking knows where he has been staying ‘cause it’s surely not with Hyeongtak considering that he can’t last that long to be in the same roof with the little booger.”
Assuming she pressed send, Sangwoo watched as she put her phone on the coffee table and pointed at it with her freshly manicured finger. “I asked Jaeyoung where he’s going to be tonight, telling him I’m back on campus and that we would have to meet up ASAP.”
“Where do you think he’s going to be?” Asked Sangwoo.
“Probably in a bar alone.” Yuna said in a heartbeat. “Once he texts me back telling me which bar it is, you’ll be the one to go in my stead. Talk it out with each other. Kiss and make up. Say those three fucking infamous words or whatever. I really could care less about that part, just get your man back.”
“That’s the plan?”
“That’s the plan.” Yuna confirmed. “It’s not that hard if you think about it. Jaeyoung is the one acting like a total baby for not talking to you –” She received a notification, the nickname she had for Jaeyoung coming on the screen. Yuna quickly went to read what he messaged back, a frown etching on her face. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Sangwoo most definitely did not like the sound of that. He went forward to take a peak of the text, feeling a bit envious that Jaeyoung replied to her in less than a minute while his messages were dusting in their chats unseen. “What’s wrong?”
Twisting her phone in his direction, she allowed him to read it. “He will be attending a fucking party tonight at some transfer student’s place. Said it’s going to be lit and shit.”
He gestured to her to put her phone back, sitting further to the edge of the couch. “And what’s the problem here? You don’t go to parties or?”
Yuna laughed at his words, throwing her head back because it was that funny to her when he said that. “Oh, I go to parties alright.” She said, “But, you sure as hell don’t and even if Jaeyoung is avoiding you like the plague, he’d have my neck when he finds out I brought you to a party. That overprotective motherfucker.”
It was Sangwoo’s turn to frown. “Why doesn’t he want me at a party?”
“Just because,”
She didn’t continue, as if to tell him that the explanation was already obvious and believed Sangwoo was knowledgeable enough to understand what she meant. “You told me to confront him. So I must go.” Yuna was about to disagree but he didn’t want to hear it. “I’ve been going mentally insane for two weeks and five days with not knowing how he is doing, where he has been fucking staying, and why he had the nerve to go and completely ignore me like I meant nothing to him. I’m going to that party.”
There was a hint of pity across her face and Sangwoo ignored it. “Do you know where it’s going to be?” She asked.
“No. But you’re going to tell me.”
“You damn right I will, smartass. I need to see Jaeyoung getting owned. But do you seriously think I’m going to let you go alone?”
“If it bothers you that much, I wouldn’t mind company. I’ve never been to a party before. I’m pretty sure the whole campus knows that.”
Yuna looked at him, he stared back. She was clearly having second thoughts about it. “Okay. Fuck, fine. I’ll take you to that party, bring Jaeyoung to you and that’s where you handle it yourself.”
He nodded without a thought, the buzzing in his veins going mad at the image of himself going out at night instead of staying in his apartment where it was safe and peaceful. “Thank you, Choi Yoochae-ssi.”
Humming wordlessly, Yuna spun around on the swivel to go roll to the desks where the PCs were located. “You owe me two meals after this, Chu Sangchoo-ssi.”
Sangwoo didn't argue back about that.