Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

As a terminally sick boy you don't do much. You lay about, wondering when you'll inevitably die. You lay awake listening to your body struggle. You sleep waiting to be woken up by pokes and prods of doctors.

But you really do nothing.

Well Xie Lian did do something. A thing he wasn't really supposed to do.

He's tired of his room. Tired of the halls and the walls. The doctors faces he's knows so well. The examination room and the blood room. The surgical equipment and the full ache his arms always have from having needles shoved in them. Xie Lian was tired and it wasn't just because he was dying.

He usually got told off for saying such things. "Positivity is key to recovery." Every one says. But he sees the sad smiles. The pained faces. He won't recover. He's knows it. He's seen his test results. He knows it's why he can't leave the hospital. He had his own room too.

For heavens sake, he's been here for months.

All he had to do was wait. It would come, his time would come and it would be too early for those around him but that's fine. He will die before 20 and he'll die with no regret.

It's something he's proud of. Dying without regret. It's hard to do when you're young but he'll do it. He just had to wait.

A thing he did while he waited was wander the halls at night. It gave him something to do. Got him moving and out of that room. He could clear his head. Or think himself into a black hole. Depends on the day.

It was a good break. He never went far, couldn't trust his body to bring him back if he did. So he somewhat paces the corridors.

They're all lined with windows. Floor to ceiling. They look over the city and the lights that twinkle like urban stars.

It's pretty.

But also cruel.

So close yet he can't reach them. So near yet he'll never go and see. Xie Lian's destiny is to die in this hospital, and with death so close he's never going to leave.

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On the third night of a new week he was walking further away from his room in the young peoples ward, he was in the under 25's section of the hospital.

No longer young enough for the children's ward, not that he was complaining. The long stay area in the young adults ward was quieter.

No screaming babies and lights that glare at all hours of the day and night. No frantic machines or nurses rushing around.

In fact it was here in the young adults long stay ward, where he met a boy.

And just like that Xie Lian would be cursed to die with regret.

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But let's take it back to the beginning shall we. 

Xie Lian was an active healthy kid. He always had been. From birth the heavens seemed to shine down on him.

His parents always so proud bragged about him to everyone they meet.

The scholar and athletics star who was the pride and joy of his home and school.

He was everyone's favourite and the golden boy. He had friends by the mile and the who of the south country seemed to know him.

He was kind, and welcoming, calming and level headed. He could be impulsive and was so talented he could sometimes come off as slightly arrogant, but those flaws were so soft when compared to everything else that it fell into a quirky charm.

A lovable trait.

He did have a flaw. A huge flaw, his closest friends tell him.

He was selfless.

So unbelievably selfless and maybe that was his down fall.

His two friends always tell him if he had changed, became selfish and held onto his life harder. If he didn't give it away, if he cared a little bit more about himself, he wouldn't have ended up on deaths door.

Xie Lian knows it doesn't work that way but he lets them believe it. If that's their way of coping.

If that's how he can make this easier for them who's he to stop them. He may be upset, but he won't be cruel and lash out because of it.

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It was at 13 his energy started to deplete. His stamina was weaker and he got out of breath doing things like climbing stairs. He didn't let it hold him back.

He pushed harder and showed no weakness. What was a little inconvenience? He wouldn't let it ruin everyones expectations of him. No chance.

It took months before people started to twig something was wrong. Much to Xie Lian's dismay. 'Hide it better! Push harder!' His mind complained.

Unsurprisingly it was his two friends who comment first.

He waved them off happily ignoring the problems his body protested and carried on regardless.

"If it was something serious I'd be dead by now wouldn't I?" He had laughed.

Xie Lian still laughs at that even now. Oh the irony. Younger him really had a way with words.

He was however, eventually taken, dragged, to the doctor for tests. After everyone started to notice something was clearly wrong. Xie Lian's excuse of having a cold may have worked but who has a cold for two months?

Blood got taken at the hospital and sent off to a lab far away. His parents talked to a doctor and Xie Lian went out to play with his friends and the whole thing was forgotten.

It was barely a day later when his mother got a phone call. Not unusual, but his mother's face paled considerably when she listened to what they had to say.

Xie Lian can still remember the look on her face as she spoke in hushed tones a hand covering her mouth. The quiet words as she snuck glances at her son.

Her only son. Her only child.

He gorgeous Amber eyes that Xie Lian had inherited were wide and glossy.

Xie Lian thought someone had died.

He didn't think it was him.

It was him.

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Xie Lian is sick. That's what they told him the first time he went into the hospital. He needed a few test to confirm what they already knew.

Xie Lian complied, more curious than concerned, he'd once had an x-ray when he broke his arm playing sports.

These scans weren't really like X-rays. They were small, loud, and long. Then he was whisked into a waiting room. His mother was outside on the phone again. She seemed to be on her phone a lot.

They'll fix him up in no time, they promised. Except looking back they never made that promise.

Because deep down they knew they couldn't promise that. With cases like Xie Lian even catching it early, it was always a 50/50 chance.

There are things to help, things they can try, things that will leave you feeling worse but nothing will guarantee to take it away fully.

There's no miracle cure for him.

And although that, 50/50, is relatively high in the terminal illness department it's still not promising. Not as high as people like. 50/50 leaves a lot to be determined.

So as soon as Xie Lian had processed what was going on he resigned to his fate and never got his hopes up. It wasn't worth it. Complications were always common and they dragged that 50% down, down, down until his death day loomed.

There was one time he did get his hopes up though. One day he let hope spark in his chest. He was sixteen. He'd gone in for a check up, smiling as always. He greeted the doctors and nurses, he knew them by name now as did they. He had been feeling so much better recently, after a dose of a new test drug. It seemed to work miracles, and Xie Lian felt like he did all those years ago.

Alive, healthy, active.

He was playing again. He'd caught up in school he was so close to graduating and everything was falling into place. It was wonderful.

Even his friends were looking positive. He was getting his old life back and was finally getting his hopes up. The test came back with positive results, no massive problems and things were going back to normal.

He turned 17 and celebrated properly with his friends. They went out. Had fun, they partied and drank and danced and sung.

Then the trial drug stoped and Xie Lian declined so fast the hospital couldn't even catch him. One night he'd gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom the next he was lying face down on the floor.

He woke up in the hospital confused and totally disoriented. He had no idea what was going on, but his mother had retold the story of her horror when she found him the next morning.

"I thought you were dead! Don't ever do that again, you hear me! I can't loose you." She had sobbed.

Xie Lian had held her through it. He wanted to say you won't loose me, but his hope had dispersed when he hit the floor.

Instead he promised to never again get his hopes up.

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Xie Lian lost a lot ever since the drug stoped. He lost his strength again, his appetite, his grades and most of his friends. If they even were his friends. He had to drop out of school again. He had to have several emergency operations.

Blood was pumped into him regularly and his heart slowed.

He was in and out of the big white building more times than he could count and finally on his 18th birthday, he was admitted full time.

"Happy birthday to me." He'd laughed bitterly as the anaesthetic pulled him under for yet another emergency surgery.

This time when he'd recovered on the ward, he didn't leave. He did at least meet a few other youngsters same ages as him that he hope he could be friends with.

One girl, so young recovering from a surgery to remove a tumour was called Ban Yue. A bright red silk scarf tied in a bow around her head. A head that held very short hair.

"Xie-gege, don't be sad. I've been here a while and it's always so boring so I'll be your friend okay?" She smiled. "We can play together, and keep each other company."

"Alright Ban Yue. Let's be friends."

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And they were great friends, except people got better.

He watched one by one as he was left alone on the ward. The last of his friends leaving with a sad smile and a tight hug. "Xie-gege." Ban Yue sobbed. "I don't want to leave you! Xie-gege tell them no! Let me stay with you! Gege!" She had cried.

He knew none of them would stay. This was only a recovery ward. It was meant for people who would recover.

Xie Lian didn't belong on that ward. After a month of being on that ward Xie Lian was moved to the young adult long stay unit.

There he could make friends that would be there long term, either until they get better or until they die.

Xie Lian had been friends with both. His room was on the terminal unit within the long stay ward. So many of his friends were like him.

Take Ming Yi for example. A really nice guy. Quiet but kind. Very smart but he didn't use it much. Bright gray eyes and so tall Xie Lian had to tilt his head so far back just to see his face. He was pale too. Cheekbones protruding and sharp.

He showed Xie Lian around. Shared the same room with him and even ate Xie Lian's leftovers so the nurses wouldn't bug him about not finishing meals.

They stayed together a lot. Even accompanied each other to treatments. They were close. Some called them brothers. Ming Yi knew a lot about Xie Lian. And in return Xie Lian knew a lot about Ming Yi.

He liked science, wanted to be a doctor when he was younger, he was 20. Had short hair that he was regrowing after treatment. He took less tablets than Xie Lian and hated the blue ones for no reason other than they looked weird. He was in love. And though he'd never say it out loud, the girl he was in love with knew.

Xie Lian thinks- no he knows, she loved him back. They planned to leave together and Xie Lian asked that Ming Yi invite him to the wedding.

He was his first real friend on the ward and the unit within the ward, and he'd known him for two month. It was all going so well the two had a routine that they followed.

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It was late afternoon, just after their outdoor time in the patio when the boy had convulsed on the floor of their shared room.

Ming Yi had been talking about a cloud that looked like a shovel and then just drop in front of Xie Lian.

Started shaking uncontrollably mouth open eyes wide clutching his neck, Xie Lian watched in horror as he shouted for help.

Ming Yi's eyes rolled back and then next thing he knew, ming Yi had been whisked away.

Xie Lian sat on the floor of their shared room for a long time that day.

Until it was time for dinner and Pei Ming came to get him. The boy immediately sprang up and was back to his normal self. He went to dinner, ate very little, got told off, silently mourned the loss of his friend, prayed to anybody who would listen that he'd be okay and then went to bed.

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Xie Lian had never seen him again.

The second bed was moved out the next morning and Xie Lian knew Ming Yi wasn't coming back.

Suddenly the room was only his. It didn't stop him from making friends again. To others he barely changed. When a new guy came Xie Lian showed him around. Xie Lian may have lost a lot but he never lost his kindness.

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He was the newest kid, He Xuan they called him, he may have been the only one to notice a difference. He had messy black hair and bright yellow green eyes. It makes his stare piercing no matter his expression or intention. Again the boy was tall and Xie Lian mourned his poor neck.

He kindly didn't say anything when Xie Lian's smile faded as they passed his empty room.

It wasn't common to see the terminal unit patient drop like that, usually when the signs presented they were moved to ICU or a different ward away from the others.

This was a rare case. Unpredictable. It opened his eyes to the new world he was apart of.

This was the young adult ward, but in it Xie Lian was part of the terminal unit. Their reputation spanned the whole of the hospital.

Those who enter, don't usually come out.

Very few proved them wrong. Xie Lian hoped that every new face he met would leave healthy. Illness free. Xie Lian thinks his luck isn't as strong as it used to be because although he's seen many leave, and usually quite quickly, very few did so healthy.

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It was He Xuan's fifth day on the ward when he found Xie Lian standing by the double doors.

The taller trudged along IV in toe and reached out his wire and tube free arm. "Xie Lian? What are you doing? Aren't you going to breakfast?" He asked gently.

Xie Lian turned around slowly a pained smile on his face. "Ah, no." He said. "I'm not going to be taking meals there anymore." He Xuan nodded, Xie Lian has told him before that he doesn't eat much. Wether due to his illness that he's never gone into detail about, or that he just doesn't like it he Xuan isn't sure.

"Then come eat with me?" Xie Lian smiles. "He Xuan, take a photo with me would you?" He asked holding up a camera that was slung around his neck.

Had that been there the whole time? Why did he have it on?

He Xuan hadn't noticed but the boy also held a Polaroid photo in his hand. "What's that? A photo?" He Xuan asked pointing. "Yeah, just an old friend." Xie Lian said showing the other. "Is that Yun Ali? Why's there a green heart next to it?" Xie Lian shrugs. "Because they were very dear to me. I want to remember that." He says. "Nothing more."

He Xuan sighs. So another one of them has left. He Xuan remembers Xie Lian was like this when he first came too. Apparently a boy called Ming Yi had just passed and Xie Lian was very close to him.

At first He Xuan didn't want close friends, he was going to die might as well do it alone, it's not like he had any family. But since he arrived here from being stabilised in the ICU, this Xie Lian had burrowed his way into his heart.

So for his last week that he may have, why not indulge a bit?

"Fine, let's take a photo. But I look like hell." Xie Lian laughed. "Don't we all?"

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"Hey Xie Lian." He Xuan said one day. It was about three weeks after he arrived in the unit. Four years since he started treatment. A month since he was admitted full time and a week after his predicted death day.

He was sat in the other boys room reading a book. Every now and then he'd glance over at the other. Xie Lian had just come back from having his tubes changed and was feeling groggy. "Xie Lian?" He Xuan asks again.

Xie Lian humms from his bed. His pale face surrounded by pillows and stuffed animals. Bags under his eyes hang heavy. There were two tubes too, one down his nose the other down his throat into his stomach. One IV's stuck in his arm, food in the other connected to the throat tube. He looked awful but it wasn't as bad as it looked.

Even if He Xuan had a mini panic upon seeing him. Xie Lian had slowly convinced him he was in fact okay and in a few hours would feel much better.

"Have you ever visited the other units on our ward?" Xie Lian thinks. "The general long stay I have. And also the peony unit. Not the mental health unit and not the rehabilitation unit. It wasn't for me either, the peony unit that is." He Xuan shivers at the name.

The peony unit was the end of life unit for the young adults on the ward. Many of the terminal patients go there at some point. They're all told of it. They all expect it.

16-25 anyone who was in the stage of pre or active death was moved there for peace and consideration. The fact Xie Lian has been there no matter in what way isn't good. He Xuan wanted nothing to do with that unit.

"I proud of you He Xuan." Xie Lian says weakly. The boy looks shocked. "You know?" Xie Lian nods. "It wasn't obvious, I just know these things." He says easing the panic.

"Then I'm going to leave this place." Xie Lian makes a weak attempt at a laugh. "I know you will." He croaks. "Your cheeks have filled in. Your eyes are bright. Why I'd say you were a week away from leaving me alone here."

He Xuan grins. Then frowns. "Do you get lonely Xie Lian? You're the only one here with their own room, you don't eat with the others and well, you don't seem to be getting better like I am."

Xie Lian looks up at the ceiling. 'I'm not like you.' He wants to say but he doesn't. "You see that wall?" He says instead, raising his free hand. "All my photos are on that wall. That's everyone who's ever been here while I have."

He Xuan looks. "That's a good fifteen photos. Oh I'm there. And is that Ming Yi." He points out. Xie Lian smiles. "Yep. Every patient of the terminal unit since I arrived three months ago is on that wall." He Xuan's eyes widen. "Three months? I thought you arrived just before me." He frowns. "But there's a tone of photos here, but this unit only has nine patients including us at the moment."

Xie Lian sighs sadly. "I know. People come and go, that's what terminal care is like. Sometimes people are here for a day, others a month. I think we've had three, maybe four patients come and go while you've been here." He says.

Then smiles. "You're going to make it out of here He Xuan." Xie Lian says. "Your photo will be one of the few pink hearts on my wall and I'll treasure it forever." He Xuan nods numbly. "How long is forever?" He asks quietly figuring out the colour code of the hearts next to the dates on the photos. "Wouldn't I like to know." Xie Lian laughs.

Only one photo has a pink heart at the moment. A girl looks young, bright eyes and a bright scarf around her head. She's grinning brightly and Xie Lian seems to have oxygen tubes in his nose at the time. He Xuan knows so little about Xie Lian, yet Xie Lian knows so much about everyone. Was that because of his time here? "So only one other person has left healthy?" He Xuan asks.

Xie Lian nods. "Yeah, she was lovely. Only young, around 17, had cancer stage three or something. Memories of people blur together sometimes." He says closing his eyes.

"They said she'd never make it. But this trial drug came out and combining treatments together she managed to kick those cells in the butt and got herself outta here eventually." He smiles happily. "I was so proud of her when she left. I only knew her a short time three weeks or so. She'd been here before me. Came around the same time as Ming Yi did. That's months before I came, she left three weeks after I arrived, yeah that's right." He said.

"They wanted to leave together. I think they loved each other very deeply. Seemed to know each other from the outside world too. He was glad she went first. He didn't want her to see his fall."

He Xuan looks down. "So he knew he was dying?" Xie Lian laughs. "We all do, it's why we're here isn't it? Only special cases like you seem not to get with the program."

He Xuan laughs too. "Hay! That still sounds really lonely. You've seen five people leave? And by leave you mean..." Xie Lian snorts then coughs when he realises he has tubes in his nose. "Die, He Xuan. I've meet fifteen people like me, and I've watched six people leave through those doors. If there's a green heart they've gone, if it's pink they left healthy and if it's blank, they're still fighting."

"You're lonely." He Xuan says suddenly.

Xie Lian thinks it over. "Maybe I am. But I never want anyone to watch someone drop to the floor like that. It stays with you forever. So on unpredictable cases like Ming Yi, and me, and a few of the faces you see up there, we kept our own rooms or we stick with each other. Then when it's time, no one has to watch."

"Always thinking of the people." He Xuan says laughing. "Well what can I say. I've always wanted to save the people. Maybe this is my way of doing so."

He Xuan snorts. Folding his book closed and standing using his IV, that now only had one bag of clear fluids attached to his arm, he walked over and perched on Xie Lian's bed. "In our little kingdom of death you can be the merciful crown prince who guides us to happiness."

Xie Lian shoves him, He Xuan doesn't even react. "Wow not even saving your prince any face, that was all my strength couldn't you have pretended that it hurt?"

He Xuan collapsed over Xie Lian's legs. "Oh owww!" He says flatly. "It was so powerful the reaction was delayed!" He continues. "Oh dear my arm my arm! It's broken, help, I need to go to the hospital!"

Xie Lian snickers. "You're in the hospital, you want to be out." He Xuan nods still laying over the others legs.

Surely it's not comfortable but He Xuan is quite cat like Xie Lian thinks. "You're right with that. And I will leave." Xie Lian nods. "I know."

"And you'll come too."

Xie Lian pauses. "I... I'll leave this place one way or another. That's all I can promise you."

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Xie Lian did leave the unit, in his own tiny way. It wasn't like He Xuan, or Ming Yi. But a Xie Lian way.

You see Xie lian get bored sat in an empty room all day. Sure it was personalised. He had a bunny calendar hanging on the wall marked in all different colours. He had cushions and blankets a few stuffed toys. His windows was lined with books and art supplies. And his favourite, the wall opposite his bed were little square photos lined the wall. There were a fare few stuck on with washi tape. More gathered since He Xuan left. Fifteen turned to twenty, twenty turned to twenty five. One of him and Ming Yi in the centre. He Xuan and him next to it on the left. Then others littered around, all dated on the day he took them. The green and pink hearts decorating.

Then on a stool in the corner lay the Polaroid camera and some extra film. That was his most treasured moments. His friends documented for him and them so they won't be forgotten. So he won't forget.

But even then you get bored. It was his hundred and something day of staring at the same space and he couldn't handle it anymore.

Waiting he could do but why not make the queue fun? So he left the terminal unit.

He wander the halls at night.

Sounds a bit creepy but it wasn't like he was spying or trying to run away. He really just wandered.

He got up late, slid the door open and left. Security was somewhat lacking and sneaking past the nurses station was easy when you didn't have an IV to pull along with you. They always gave you away.

So every night he fell into the routine of get through the late night check up, wait ten minutes, then creep out.

Duck past the nurses station, maybe stop to listen in to their conversations, and press open the main door that lead to the rest of the ward.

He liked his new game. It gave him something to do. Got him moving and out of that room. He could clear his head. Or think himself into a black hole. Depends on the day.

Besides he was almost certain the nurses knew he did this. His night nurse Yushi Huang, the sweetest lady he's ever know. Like his sister or a mother. She definitely knew. Sometimes she finds Xie Lian because it's check up time but she never tells him off. Just smiles and pats his head.

But Pei Ming. His head nurse knew, Xie Lian doesn't think Pei Ming likes that he does it, but the nurse hasn't stopped him yet. And it has been a month already. The cctv must give his sneaking away too but they allow it because, well why would they stop a dead boy walking?

They knew he wasn't running away, there was no point in it. The hospital was better suited for his end of life shenanigans. 

He never went far either, didn't leave the young adults long stay ward, couldn't trust his body to bring him back if he left. Besides he's not so familiar with the layout that lies behind the double doors. So he paced the corridors instead.

Passing all the different units and doors, some open some not. He passed hospital staff, patients and visitors from time to time, and learnt the shift patters.

Sometimes a porter would come along and rest with him for a while before being radioed to their next job. Xie Lian liked the silent company it was comforting.

Sometimes he felt eyes on him, through curtains or windows. He could hear footsteps following him but he never turned around. He knew it was other patients it was almost funny how they thought he didn't know. He never engaged in finding their source. Or who it was. He knew it wasn't someone from the terminal unit and that's all he cared about.

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"Xie Lian." He Xuan said one day when they were all outside. It was two months since He Xuan had left to the general unit. They met often on their joint patio time. It was scheduled every week, Xie Lian didn't appear often. Said boy had his eyes closed looking up as the sun hit his face. The bench he sat on was old but he always insisted it was the best.

"Hmm?" Xie Lian smiles opening honey eyes that glowed a brilliant gold in the sun. There stood the boy who was moved to the general long stay unit. And with him stood another person, one Xie Lian hasn't ever seen before. Not from his unit. Xie Lian waves. "Hello." He said. "Hi." The new face smiled. "I'm Shi Qingxuan."

Xie Lian took them in. Warm brown hair, bright eyes, their head held bandages and their knees were wrapped up tightly but other than that they seemed okay. They wore obnoxiously bright pyjamas yet somehow made it work and next to He Xuan in his all black ensemble they looked quite the pair.

Xie Lian's look must have been quizzical because Shi Qingxuan started a whole speech. "I'm here because I have seizures. I hit my head sometimes too. And fall. They wanted to keep an eye on me, but that's a lie. My brother just wants me here until they are under control, so I don't cause a scene. He owns this place too. But I face plant my breakfast a lot so I've been here a while. But I'm not dying otherwise I'd be in the terminal until. Apparently you don't see many's people leave that place. They say you're dead in a month if you go in there but He Xuan made it out. He's no longer really sick and that's so cool because now I know him. I feel bad for the others though, I wish they could get better and leave too. I wish we could leave. I really want to leave with He Xuan here. We're really good friends now. He's your friend too right? He Xuan talks about you, but I've never seen you are you new? What unit are you from? You look good wherever you are from. Anyway that's about it."

Xie Lian blinks a few times once the rambling had stopped. He Xuan was pinching their nose and Shi Qingxuan just looked extremely happy. Grinning ear to ear. "Oh thank you, I'm Xie Lian, if He Xuan talks about me you may know that." He says awkwardly. "I wish we could all get better too, but sometimes that's just the hand we're dealt with. I'm proud of He Xuan for beating it, it seems like just yesterday he was all tubes and wires. Now he's left me alone."

Shi Qingxuan looks shocked. "Oh you're from terminal? I'd never guess." They say. Xie Lian nods. "Heh- that means I look alive right? Nice." He Xuan high fives him. "I've actually been there almost two months. But I've been in and out of this hospital for years. Guess you could say I'm clingy." He laughs.

Shi Qingxuan nods happily. "So you'll leave like He Xuan too??" They asks bouncing up and down. "That's going to be so fun! We can do crafts together and watch films, maybe you can bunk next door to us! Oh He Xuan shares my room with me!"

"Shi Qingxuan next door is taken." They turn. "Really by who?" "A new kid apparently he's still unconscious. They think he's gonna wake up soon tho." Shi Qingxuan shrugs. "You can bunk with the unconscious kid! I bet they're really nice. So tell me when can I expect you."

Xie Lian nods smiling awkwardly again he glances to He Xuan. "Shi Qingxuan." He Xuan says softly. "Hmm? What am I getting to excited?" He Xuan nods. "Sorry." They say raining it back a bit. "When will you be leaving?" The asks eyes shining. Xie Lian holds back a laugh. He Xuan looks done.

He Xuan sighs. "Shi Qingxuan, stop talking." He say. "What?" They ask. Then turning to Xie lian. "You will be leaving right? Two months is so long already." They complain.

Xie Lian nods then shakes his head. "...No." Xie Lian says slowly. "I'm not going to leave like He Xuan did." Shi Qingxuan looks confused. "But you've been there so long and you're not dead."

Xie Lian smiles. "That's true, but that doesn't mean I'm getting better. I just haven't got worse yet. He Xuan is a rare case. We usually don't leave especially people that they call unpredictable." He explains. "What's that mean was He Xuan unpredictable?" The boy stiffens. "No I was given three weeks." He Xuan says numbly. "Oh." Shi Qingxuan says sadly. "Sorry, but at least you're okay now."

Xie Lian giggles. "Exactly, you said no way! And left." "Yeah!" Shi Qingxuan cheers. "So if He Xuan isn't unpredictable what is?"

Xie Lian humms. "I am. It means they can't tell when I'll die." They look confused. He Xuan hisses something. "What was that He Xuan?" Xie Lian said smiling. The boys huffs. "Maybe you won't die." Shi Qingxuan nods. "Yeah, you might come out, but surely they can't tell when any of you guys is going to die exactly so why are you unpredictable?"

Xie Lian laughs as He Xuan groans. "Not like that." He says. Xie Lian laughs louder. "It means when he does go, he'll go hard and fast. No warning just boom dead." He Xuan says flatly glaring at Xie lian who's still laughing. Shi Qingxuan looks to Xie lian wide eyes. Oops they might have traumatised them just a little bit there. "It's true. He's right."

They younger squarks. "So even now you could just." The make a hand gesture and stick there tongue out. Xie Lian nods. "Yup. Right on the spot."

"He seems awfully proud of that fact." Shi Qingxuan whispers to He Xuan. The boy nods. "It's an achievement he's most proud of." Then turning to the other he sighs. "You have quite dark humour when you're flirting with death. Right Xie Lian?" Xie lian grins. "I've made it to third base, you got dumped He Xuan." 

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The hallways were nice. Xie Lian decided Shi Qingxuan was nice too. But not as much as the hallway. They're were more quiet, lined with windows on one side floor to ceiling. Clear glass that looked over the city, and the lights that twinkle like urban stars. It's pretty. But also so cruel. The outside world is so close yet he can't reach it. So near yet he'll never go out and see.

Xie Lian's destiny is to die in this hospital, and with death so close he's never going to leave.

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It was on the third night of a new week, his fifth month in the unit, he was walking further away from his room in the young peoples ward. Still in the long stay area just not the terminal unit. He passed by He Xuan's new unit, they boy was restless, he wanted out now he wasn't actively dying but a discharge date wasn't yet being discussed.

Xie Lian sighs he hasn't seen those two for a while. He hasn't visited the hallway for while either. Last week he collapsed. Xie Lian says he tripped, he didn't he collapsed from exhaustion, and had to be on bed rest for a while. Apparently if he doesn't start eating properly they'll diagnose him with an Ed, there's also talk of a permanent feeding system too. Xie Lian doesn't care. He's just  too restless. He wanted out like everyone, it wasn't always fair, but he'd only complain to himself.

It was out in the dimly lit hallway, the outside world being the only source of light, where he met a boy.

Xie Lian pauses his walk to take in his appearance. He was a patient clearly, tall much more so than Xie Lian, even He Xuan, but his face held a charming youth. At least the part he could see. Half of it held a lot of bandages, almost as if the boy had a white mask on his face. The white strips covered his eye and forehead his cheek and ear. Half his face gone pulling and weaving through black unruly hair as the wrapped around the back of his head.

He smiled at Xie Lian in a knowing way before grinning tilting his head, a messy pony tail lolling to the side with him. "Are you the lost boy?" He asked.

Xie Lian pauses. No one had ever spoken to him on his walks before. No one even showed their face. Not patients that is. They just moved along quickly as if Xie Lian would pass on his terrible terminal illness. As if he could.

They weren't contagious, it wasn't like a cold. But here this boy is standing closer than anyone dare and speaking to him with a smile no less.

Xie Lian felt he must answer back, keep the interaction going for longer. He craved it. Never knew how much so until now. "The lost boy?" He questioned. The boy nods. "I heard a tale of a boy in white robes who roamed the halls lost. Many think you're a ghost." He says. "Are you?"

Xie Lian holds his hand up to the moonlight his pale skin almost glowing. Reflecting off his stark white sleeping clothes. Maybe he really did look like a ghost. He'd have to ask He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan.

"Perhaps. Are you a ghost?" He asks. The boy holds his hand out and let's the moonlight flutter through. "Not yet." He says. "But perhaps one day."

Xie Lian humms. "I see, find me again when you are. We can roam these halls together." The boy laughs. "Do I have to forfit my shoes first?" He asks. "Aren't your feet cold?" Xie Lian looks down. Ah. He'd forgotten his socks. It didn't really matter his body was numb most of the time, he felt very little now. "Oh, ghosts don't feel the cold." Then with a soft little laugh. "I'm Xie Lian, the lost boy."

The other walks forward, even closer to Xie Lian, a grin still in place. "I'm Hua Cheng." He introduced. "Soon to be lost boy's friend I hope."  Xie Lian tilts his head. "I'd be happy to, but are you sure you want a friend like me?" He glances back. "Hospital friends can be difficult to maintain." Xie Lian knows the hidden meaning under those words, weather Hua Cheng will he doesn't know.

Here one day you have a friend, the next they're gone.

Hua Cheng nods. "People told me to stay away from you, but I don't care about rumours." Xie Lian smiles. Because they thought he was a ghost or because he's sick?

"Isn't a rumour what brought you to me?" He retaliates. Hua Cheng laughs loudly. "I suppose you're right with that one. Well then I care for only one rumour and now I've found it to be false."

"Oh?" Xie Lian says. "You did? Under what proof do you have that I'm not a ghost." He offers. Hua Cheng reaches out a hand tapping Xie Lian's arm. "There see, I can touch you." Xie Lian snickers at the act. "And what if I just allow you to touch me?" He questioned. "Then I'd be the honoured chosen one, however I believe you're not dead."

Xie Lian laughs wistfully. "No," he says. "I'm not yet. But maybe one day."

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This strange interaction happened every night after that for a month. Xie Lian found the boy interesting. They could talk for hours without getting tired and they seemed to connect so quickly it was like they've know each other for many years.

Thankfully for Xie Lian, who hated to explain anything, Hua Cheng never asked why he was here or what unit he belonged to. In return Xie Lian never asked why he was here either. Though it was somewhat more clear when half your face is bandaged up.

Hua cheng was easy to talk to. Too easy if the early morning sun, and day shift staff had anything to say about it.

He was easy to get along with and above all that, he was understanding. After weeks of meeting Xie Lian was much more relaxed around him. So much so that he trusted the other with his venerability. It isn't hard to guess why Xie Lian is there every night. It's clear he's in this ward for a reason. He's sick in some way or another. Hua Cheng will know that much, so when Xie Lian comes crying one night he soothes the boy quietly, not asking questions just being there.

That's all Xie Lian ever needs.

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If Xie Lian came to him in tears Hua Cheng comforted him. If Xie Lian didn't make conversation, Hua Cheng told stories for Xie Lian to listen to. When Xie Lian came to him with stories Hua Cheng would listen instead. He would adapt to whatever Xie Lian needed. And Xie Lian desperately wanted to do it back. So he decided to make it official.

"Hua Cheng tonight take a picture with me." Xie Lian said holding up his camera. Hua Cheng shrugged. They'd been friends for a month now and Xie Lian thought they were close enough for his request. "Sure." He said. "How does it work?" Xie Lian became more animated explaining in slightly more detail than necessary how his camera worked and then huddled close to the boy, placing a special lends on so he could see himself and counted down. "3...2...1 smile Hua Cheng!" He beamed.

That photo made its way onto his wall the next morning. He dated it with a little smiley face and placed it right next to Ming Yi's photo on the right. Opposite to He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan photos, all three of which had little pink hearts next to them. He loved that little pink marker. He smiled at Ming Yi's photo. "He Xuan left us a few weeks ago now, he's restless, he wants out." He giggles. "I used to hope death would take me quickly I had nothing to lose. Now I fear I have too much to lose." Xie Lian sighs. "Does that mean death is around the corner?"

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One night Hua Cheng didn't turn up and Xie Lian sat all night with his back against the window waiting. He must have fallen asleep there because one of his day shift nurses, the head nurse, woke him up worried. "Xie Lian? Xie Lian! what are you doing?! Hey, why aren't you in your room?" Xie Lian blinked himself awake. Looking around blearily. "Hua Cheng?"

The nurse sighed. "No, it's me." Xie Lian squinted. "Oh nurse Pei. Good morning. Is it time for morning check in?" Pei Ming sighed again. "It would be if you were in your room. Why are you sleeping here? It's really not good for you." Xie Lian glances longingly down the hall. "I'm just... waiting." He said. "Nothing more."

The nurse halls him up. "Honestly Xie Lian, if it isn't bad enough you go walking every night you have to sleep in the hall now too? Why do we let you roam?" He complains. "It's because I'm dying and this small activity makes me happier and you won't take that away from me. Because then I'll go back to complaining my death day won't come quick enough" He says. "Then you'll tell me off for being negative." He adds as he's guided around.

Pei Ming nods ushering the boy through the doors. "Yes yes, you're less depressed when you're free, now back to your room. It's almost breakfast time, and why aren't you wearing socks?" Xie Lian shrugs. "Hua Cheng thinks it's funny when I don't. It's like an inside joke."

The nurse humms not really listening fully. "Well it won't be funny if you catch a cold. I want your socks on 24/7 mister, got it?" Xie Lian nods. "I'm sorry Pei Ming." The man waves him off. "Just wear your socks, it may help." Xie Lian grins. "Fuzzy socks save lives." The nurse nods. "They sure do kiddo."

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The next night Hua Cheng doesn't show either and Xie lian starts to think he was discharged. A sad feeling that another friend of his left him to rot here without goodbye settles in him. He shakes his head. "It's not them, I left myself here. They had no choice." He whispers into the night. A hand placed on the cold glass longingly. 'Neither do I.'

But then on the third night of waiting he appears. The bandages look messy and there's a tube coming out from where his eye would be. Should be. He's dragging an IV behind him and looking rather miserable. Xie Lian smiles sympathetically. He's been there. Maybe not with the eye tube but that look says it all.

His face does brightens when he sees Xie lian waiting and that makes Xie Lian beam brighter. "Ghost boy!" He calls happily. "Hua Cheng, I was worried you'd left and didn't say goodbye to me." The boy shakes his head then winces when it pulls on the tube. "No no, I'd never, I just got in a spot of bother." He points to his eye. "Infection." He moped.

Xie Lian cooed eyebrow furrowed. "It's okay Hua Cheng, is it serious? Will you be okay?" The boy shrugs. "Dunno. They had me on fluids for two days, couldn't leave my bed. Sorry I couldn't tell you."

Xie Lian waves his arms around. "No no! It's okay I waited just incase, but I'm glad you didn't leave. At least without saying goodbye. I wouldn't ever wish you to stay here. It would be good if you left- you should leave. I just don't want you to- but I want you better, just- just say goodbye first."

The boy laughs at the shorter. "Xie lian is cute when he's flustered." He said as the shorter flushes. "I won't be leaving anytime soon don't worry, they said I need this drain in for at least a week, then I'm on IV antibiotics for another week. That's two weeks you're stuck with me still." Hua Cheng winks. "Guarantee." Xie Lian smiles at the action. "Then that's two weeks I'm very grateful for."

Later that night when Hua Cheng had persuaded Xie Lian to go to sleep the other took out his phone. He rarely used it. Only to contact the outside world and He Xuan now he was so far away. But now he had a new reason. A slightly childish and silly reason but a reason nonetheless. Entering his friends apartment address but all in his name he presses complete. Xie Lian goes to bed that morning with a smile on his face. A big goofy smile that makes Pei Ming smile fondly at when he comes in to do check ups.

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Xie Lian and Hua Cheng sit side by side on the floor backs against the wall looking towards the outside world. "Sometimes I cross my eyes, let the city lights blur and pretend I'm floating through space." Xie Lian said reaching out. "Then I can finally touch the stars." Hua Cheng humms thoughtfully. "That sounds nice. I heard no one can hear you scream in space. I'd love to test that theory."

Xie Lian turns to him. "Do you feel like screaming a lot?" The boy shrugs. "Sometimes." Xie Lian decides to be brave and press on. "What makes you feel like screaming?"

Hua Cheng smiles sadly. "When people have it worse than me but don't complain about it, but any minor inconvenience has me swearing. When the past won't leave you alone. When you loose."

Xie Lian bumps his head against Hua Cheng's shoulder. "I'm sorry that you've lost a lot, you have every right to complain. Don't compare yourself to others. Besides pain is relative."

Xie Lian leans his head on the other. "I wish I could give you it all back. Whatever you lost, whatever you wanted to gain." Hua Cheng shudders. "No, it's okay. Sometimes it's good to loose. Even if you want to scream. I lost conciseness for a week but when I woke up I saw an angel."

Xie Lian snickers. "Then you decided to wonder and found a ghost. Boo!" Hua Cheng smiles back at the cute display. "Angel, ghost, they mean the nothing when added to you. Even a monster would be devastatingly beautiful if it were you." Xie Lian flushes. "Hua Cheng." He whines. "You can't say such a backhanded compliment and make it flirting." He scolds. "I have no clue how to talk back to it."

Hua Cheng rumbles "Just be you. I want nothing more."

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"Hua Cheng, does it hurt?" Xie Lian asked one night faintly, ever so gently, tracing the area where an eye would sit. Just above a tube rests connecting to a bloody bag on a stick.

Xie Lian knows there's no eye there. Not anymore, the tube told him that much. "When I have the drain in I feel... discomfort?" He questioned sounding unsure. "But mostly I'm just numb." He shrugs leaning into the soft touch. "I see." Xie Lian says eyeing the bag, it's kinda messy, a bit gory, but Xie Lian's seen worse.

"What about you?" Hua Cheng whispers. "What do you feel?" Xie Lian laughs. "With you how can I feel anything but happiness? And, I have something for you." He giggles. "Close your eyes."

Hua Cheng looks at him strangely as if he doesn't understand. Xie lian huffs a sigh. "Close your eye Hua Cheng." He repeats. The boy snickers doing as told. Xie lian stands up from his spot on the floor and roots around his pocket. "We had creative afternoon today." He said as he works. "Oh really? What did you do?" Hua Cheng asks still with his eye closed. Xie lian sneaks a peak. Yup Hua Cheng is still a very gorgeous boy.

"Mmm not much, I tried out some embroidery." Hua Cheng humms. "That sounds interesting, I bet you made something amazing." Xie Lian laughs. "Far from it, I'm not even finished yet. It's quite time consuming, but I like it."

"When you are finished, I hope you show me your work." The brunette nods sitting down again. "I promise I will." He says then, "You can look now."

Hua Cheng opens his eye and looks around. "What did you do? I heard you stand up." Xie lian giggles. "Well..." he says glancing up. Hua Cheng follows the gaze then pauses. "Xie lian." He says. "Yes?" The boy asks innocently. "Did you... did you put googily eyes on my drain bag?"

Xie Lian nods proudly. "I did." He says. "Surprise!" Hua Cheng bursts out laughing. "Oh my god, ghost boy you're a riot. More so then He Xuan warned me about. Where did you even get those, they're so big?!" Xie Lian nods trying to suppress his own laughter. "I told you we had creative afternoon, all the craft supplies were out and they were just laying there all sad looking."

"They only have one expression they can't be sad Xie Lian." Hua Cheng says still laughing. Xie Lian pushes the other slightly. "Shut up! Besides now you have a buddy so when I'm not there with you, you can have this guy." Hua Cheng calms down looking fondly at Xie lian, "Yeah," he said. "I can have this guy."

Then, "Maybe I should get a googely eye prosthetic. I hate the one I got- have? I don't know, whatever they have me is ugly. I wore it once. Before the socket got infected." Hua Cheng sticks his tongue out. "Eww, they didn't even get the colour right."

Xie Lian giggles that's a funny thought, a googly eye prosthetic. "Don't you like the fake eye you have?" Hua Cheng shakes his head violently. Xie lian panics placing his hands on the boys cheeks to stop him. "Be careful, don't pull your drain." He mumbles gently rubbing over the others cheekbones with his thumb.

Hua Cheng sighs, relaxing back.  "I hate it, I'd much rather wear an eyepatch or bandages or something- anything else." Xie Lian humms. "I see." He says. "I like your eye, the one you have. It's pretty." Hua Cheng pulls away. "Just my eye?" Xie Lian giggles. "Well I can't see much else of your face, why,  is Hua Cheng fishing for compliments?" "Maybe." He admits. "Would you give me them?" Xie Lian smiles leaning back. "I would. I'd give you anything you asked for."

Hua Cheng laughs softly. "Remember that promise. I'll make you a list."

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Xie Lian sits in his room early the next morning messing with his phone. He taps a few buttons and waits.

"Xie Lian? What's wrong why are you awake??" Feng Xin, his friend asks picking up the phone. "Because I woke up alive this morning? Why expect me dead already?" He asks. "What? No! It's just aren't you sup-" the phone makes a strange noise and there's faint arguing. "Xie Lian, I know why you called." Mu Qing, his other friend speaks finally after what Xie Lian thinks may have been a mini fight.

Xie Lian laughs. "That's not creepy at all, what happened to Feng Xin?" The voice snorts. "He's on the floor right now. Don't worry, I'll bring what you wanted later okay? What even is it? It's a small box but it's heavy. You're gonna make me lug this to you? God you better appreciate our friendship." He complains in true Mu Qing fashion. Ah so there was a fight. "Mu Qing you're my very best friend, of course I appreciate you. When are you visiting?" "Like in... what will it be... four-five hours?" He questions.

"Wait- later? As in later later?? You're coming today?" Mu Qing sighs. "Don't sound so excited." He monotones. "Oh no I am, just what's the occasion?"

He doesn't get a reply just a lot of rustling then Feng Xin shouting. "Hah! I got the phone now- Hay good luck today Xie Lian!" Mu Qing groans. "Shut up you're so loud. It's too early. Hay- give me your damn phone!" "No I want to wish Xie Lian good fucking luck!" Feng Xin argues back. "We'll so do I! Good luck today we love you. Or whatever." He grumbles.

"I love you more than him!" Feng Xin calls from the background. "No you don't! Take that back!" "Fuck off no way!" "Feng Xin I swear to god-"

"Xie Lian it's time for treatment, I brought the chair of doom." Pei Ming sings opening the door and wheeling in a chair. "Treatment? Again??" Xie Lian complains. Didn't he have this week's treatment a few days ago? "Yup it's Wednesday my dudes and you have a a schedule to keep. so hop up and jump in." Xie Lian groans at the nurse. "It's to early for this. I feel you Mu Qing." He complains.

"Look you two I have to go now." He gets a load of good lucks and more fighting before he cuts the line. "What a handful, Pei Ming did you know they were coming to visit?"

The nurse humms. "Yep, those two and your mother are coming later after your appointment downstairs." Xie Lian tilts his head. Only the ER, ICU, scans and surgery is down stairs? He doesn't need any of them. Well not right now anyway.

"Up you get." The nurse smiles patting the chair. "I can walk just fine you know." Xie Lian pouts wrestling with his millions of blankets. "Yes I know it's just easier this way isn't it?" Xie Lian shakes his head finally free of the cosy prison. "For you maybe, it just makes me grumpy." The nurse nods. "That's why this is the chair of doom, now hop up, and sit down kid."

Xie Lian does as told, he grumbles,  Pei Ming just pats his head. "I hate this." The younger says. "I know. But it has to be done. There's really nothing else we can do."

"What treatment am I having again?" Pei Ming looks mildly concerned. "You forgot? It's surgery day." He says softly. "Oh." Xie Lian thinks. "I forgot, what it for? I didn't think I needed one." Pei Ming sighs. "You wouldn't if you just ate like a normal person." Xie Lian 'ohs' he knows what it is now. "It's a new tube for you, PEG this time, so we can actually feed you directly instead of you pushing food around your plate sadly and loosing nutrients. And so you don't have that feeding tube down your throat that you always manage to "accidentally" pull out."

Xie Lian throws his arms up in protest. "You saw it happening once! It really just pulls itself out!!" Pei Ming sighs. It really did seam to do it on its own. Or knot in his stomach. Like a ghost is just tugging it out, Xie Lian's body really didn't want to eat. "Besides it's a weird feeling why would I do it to myself so many times?" He rubs his nose. "Hurts to put in and out too." Pei Ming nods. He's the one who does it most of the time, well did it, past tense.

"Right." The older says as he pushes. They fall into comfortable silence as they near the lift.

"I think I remember that conversation now." Pei Ming laughs pressing a button. "Are you just staying that, or do you actually remember our conversation to finalise it last Monday?"

Xie Lian does not remember last Monday. Or yesterday for that matter. "Well I remember ages ago when you threatened to call my habits an eating disorder, you talked about a PEG then right?" He asks hopefully. Pei Ming nods. "We did, I'll give you that, but that was over a month ago, I'm talking about Monday with doctor Wen." Xie Lian shakes his head. "I forgot then." Thinking back. "I think I'm forgetting a lot more actually." Pei Ming sighs. "I can tell. Other than that how do you feel?"

"Restless, I want out, but I don't have the energy to do so." The nurse falls silent. "Alright, you've been sleeping more too, not at night however, like you're supposed to."

Xie Lian giggles. "What can I say I found myself a man." Pei Ming snorts. "Gross." Xie Lian gasps mock offended. "Says the playboy nurse!" Pei Ming gasps offended. "You forgot sexy! I'm a sexy playboy nurse." Xie Lian slaps his face. "Now who's eww?! Gosh, and you're my head nurse, it's a good thing I'm dying and have no time to complain." The nurse sighs. "Positive socks on Xie Lian, positive sock."

Xie Lian wiggles his toes, they're covered by fluffy socks. "Mmm, positive socks."

Pei Ming laughs. "You're so sweet, like a little kid." Xie Lian smiles. "Mmn but I'm not thirteen anymore, I'm eighteen now. How long is this procedure?"

"You'll always be a kid to me kiddo, not long an you'll be back before lunch."

"Pei Ming I'm an adult now! And that's ages it's only six!"

Pei Ming chuckles. "Okay, you'll be out well before lunch." Then smiles. "Happy?" Xie Lian nods. "Yes sir!" The two laugh.

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"He Xuan." Xie Lian whines softly once his mother and two friends had finally left. It was lunch time so he knows the boy has his phone on him. He felt so drained, so done, so sleepy, so lightheaded.

He should probably not ignore that last one actually. Anyway he has a craving. And that craving must be satisfied. "Xie Lian what's wrong?" He Xuan replies. "You never call me, you just burst into my room."

Xie Lian groans. "I can't do that right now. I have no option He Xuan, Come over would you. Come see your poor friend who loves you dearly." He says weakly, throat scratchy from having to talk to his family. "Xie Lian?" He Xuan asks more gently.

"Is that Xie Lian?" He hears Shi Qingxuan say in the background. "Not now Shi Qingxuan, somethings wrong with Xie Lian." "No, He Xuan I'm fine." Xie Lian insists. "Can you move?"

"...no." He says back. "How many wires do you have on your person?" Xie Lian looks down. "A few..."

"Last question how do you feel?"
"Ermm..." He Xuan takes in a sharp breath. "Xie Lian." He says sternly. "Don't tell me this is your cryptic way of saying goodbye." "What?!" Shi Qingxuan yells from the back. "He Xuan what's going on?!" "I don't know, if you'd be quiet maybe I could interrogate him properly." He Xuan says trying to be stern but Xie Lian hears the hidden care. "So cryptic death warning?" He Xuan asks.

Xie Lian chokes a laugh. "Hah! You know me so well. But no. It's not time yet though. I just need a favour-" Then the phone hangs up and Pei Ming laughs putting it away for him. "He hung up on you!" "Don't laugh at me Pei Ming, I have no arms to hit you with!"

The nurse stops but still grins. "I know, and it's our fault for being cautious. But why are you so desperate for him to come visit you that you use me as your personal phone stand? And what's in the bag?"

Xie Lian squints at the man. "Don't act like you don't know. You have to screen everything that comes into this place." Then looking away in a form of shrug. "You also love to snoop. You're very nosy."

Pei Ming sighs. "Okay fine, who's it for? He Xuan?" Xie Lian pouts. "No I have his number. I just called him-" "We just called him." "-He doesn't even need it. It's for my friend."

Pei Ming giggles. "Ahhh the night boy? I see. You really like him then huh?" Xie Lian smiles. "Yeah he's sweet, I don't want him to worry. This will help communication. Unless you'll let me leave tonight and tell him in person?" Pei Ming raises a brow. "As if, you'll be getting fed at night from now on. Though that doesn't stop you from eating. You can snack to your hearts content. But you're not leaving this bed for at least two days."

Xie Lian fake cries. "But Pei Ming! What if I need to go!" Pei Ming grins devilishly. "Bucket."

"Bucket?" He Xuan says entering the room. "Noooo!" Xie Lian sobs. "Not the bucket again! I can't go back to the bucket!" He Xuan snorts. "Hard luck Xie Lian, you're back to the bucket? Wait- if you're on the bucket." The boy runs up to the bed. "Damn it Xie Lian what the hell happened?!" He shouts taking a look over the other. "You said you weren't dying."

Xie Lian shrugs. "Would I be here if I wasn't?" He says. He Xuan glares. "What happened." He repeated slower. "Nothing nothing! Standard procedure!" Xie Lian laughs back.

The bandages and PEG tube coming from his stomach say other wise and the heart monitors on his chest show a rarely seen normal heart rate. "Look my heart rate is even normal, I'm not dead yet He Xuan, but keep hoping." To be fair it really doesn't look like standard procedure. And normally the heart monitor patches would be replaced with a finger clip but since his heart is "elevated" they want to run periodic ecg scans.

Xie Lian looks quite bad. But he would argue not as bad as he has looked and He Xuan would agree. And he never has a normal heartbeat anymore. It's always slow. That's his new normal so that fact is slightly concerning to the younger and apparently the whole unit staff, and the guys who did the procedure.

"Is this true?" He Xuan asks turning to Pei Ming. Not trusting Xie Lian. The nurse nods. "It is, he's not lying. It just looks bad." The younger rakes a hand through his ebony hair. He's stressed. He takes a breath then looks back. "Okay, okay fine. Why didn't you tell me you had surgery today?" Xie Lian smiles and opens his mouth. "He forgot." Pei Ming says glaring halfheartedly. "Hehe... yeah." Xie lian says sheepishly. "I did."

He Xuan huffs a laugh. "I don't like how you're forgetting things Xie Lian, it's scary. Didn't you say... you know they... forgot stuff." Xie Lian sighs, he knows where this is going. "Ming Yi forgot stuff before he died I know. Oh here's an idea! Maybe i'm dying?" He jokes. He Xuan chops the boys head. "Hay!"

"Is now really the time for sarcastic death jokes, aren't I here to play messenger anyway? If you're not actively dying then don't waste my time." Xie lian pouts. "Harsh He Xuan. I should have asked Shi Qingxuan." "They'd never leave you alone." Xie Lian pouts. "Fine. Maybe you are my messenger, why do you think you're here?"

"Well at first I thought you were about to die, then I saw you and it worried me even more because you look like you're going to die. You're clearly not going to be moving for a while so I'm guessing I'm here to tell Hua Cheng you're not going to be around for a day or two." Xie Lian nods grinning. "Sorta, but I'm going to tell him myself." He Xuan looks to Pei Ming. "You're going to allow that??" Pei Ming nods. "Unfortunately."

"Pei Ming please hand He Xuan the bag! Oh but save one for me." He Xuan looks between the bag and Xie Lian. "What's in it?" Xie Lian smiles. "A present for Hua Cheng!" He Xuan shivers in mock disgust. "Okay I don't want to know give me the bag." He Xuan says holding a hand out. "Here you go." Pei Ming says then adds. "When are you leaving by the way." He Xuan laughs. "Sick of me Pei Ming?"

The nurse sighs. "With that attitude who could ever miss you, but you don't belong here anymore, neither does Shi Qingxuan but I'm still working on that."

The boy huffs again. "Ah whatever, I'm getting out of here." He Xuan says leaving. "Don't die yet." He yells. Xie Lian laughs. "I make no promises!" He yells back.

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"Xie Lian?"

Xie Lian's eyes open slowly. He feels heavy, sticky. He doesn't like it. He wriggles around trying to untangle himself and winces. His stomach hurts so badly. "Xie Lian are you there?" What was that? Who's there? Why isn't he speaking out loud? "Xie Lian?"

Hua Cheng! That's Hua Cheng's voice. The walkie-talkie! Why's his head so foggy today?! "I'm here!" Xie Lian says struggling to reach the device. It tires him out quickly and that only adds to his panic. "No Hua Cheng I'm here." Hua Cheng didn't hear him obviously, Xie Lian is still reaching for the walkie-talkie.

"I hope you're okay, He Xuan said you couldn't meet me like usual he gave me this, said it's from you. Sorry it took so long I just got back from a check up." A check up? What time is it? Not even night time?

Finally Xie Lian grabs the stupid black box and pushed the button on the side. "Hua Cheng!" He yells panting. God he's out of shape.

"Xie lian!" The voice laughs back. "Are you okay why are you so out of breath?"

"I'm fine, sorry I forgot, I forgot I had a surgery today, and I can't move at all. Ugh." He groans as his stomach throbs again.

"What's wrong? How do you forget something like that?"

Xie Lian grimaced. "I dunno, my memory isn't what it used to be. But I still remember the important things. Like you and my friends the things I like you know?" He says still catching his breath, is he sweating? Gross.

"Hmm what do you like?" Hua Cheng asks.

Xie Lian laughs leaning back. "Well." He starts. "I like taking photos, and drawing, creating things and stuff." He gasps in a breath. "I like bunnies a lot. My calendar has them doing yoga on it. I love soft fluffy things. Stuffed animals, blankets, socks. I like-" Xie Lian gasps slightly heart rate spiking. Triggered, the machine beeps.

"Xie Lian?" Hua Cheng sounds worried. "Whats that, What's wrong, do you need help?" Xie Lian pushes through. Ignores it. "I'm okay I like..I like you..."

"..."

Hua Cheng laughs sounding somewhat stressed. "I... I like you too Xie Lian, you make me happy." The younger boys voice says softly. "I wish I could see you." Xie Lian humms. "Yeah, me too. But I look bad right now. I don't want to scare you."

Hua Cheng laughs. "You could never look bad to me, you're a ghost right? Ghosts are cool looking." The heart monitor beeps louder.

"I thought you decided I'm not a ghost?" Xie Lian says still ignoring the sound.

"I need more proof." As if the heart rate monitor complaining he's alive isn't enough.

"Maybe a hug?" Xie Lian asks pained as his chest tightens. "A long distance hug?" Hua Cheng asks. "Yeah, you hug your walkie-talkie and I'll hug mine." He hears Hua Cheng laugh. There's some silence before, "Did you feel it?"

Xie Lian feels warmth all over his body, in his upper legs ache with his stomach. His stomach seems to hang heavy. Something is wrong. There's a pressure... it's building? Oh dear here it comes. "I do." He says, heart rate picking up and the machine beeps several times indicating that, yes Xie Lian, somethings is definitely wrong. "I feel it." Xie Lian gasps. "Ack-"

The monitor starts to alarm. "Xie Lian?" Hua Cheng asks hearing the raging machine in the background on his side. "It's alright." The boy wheezes. "I'm just- it's okay." Xie Lian hits his emergency button, he doesn't think he could yell out even if he wasn't on with Hua Cheng.

Hua Cheng doesn't buy it. "Xie Lian tell me what's wrong." Xie Lian gasps out clenching his toes and curling his hand into the sheets. "Xie Lian please." Hua Cheng begs again. "Hua Cheng." Xie lian says softly. "Hua Cheng don't worry I have to go now." He get out between harsh breaths. Whatever this is, is hitting him hard and fast.

"Xie Lian, what's going on?" Pei Ming asks coming in. "Why is this thing alarming?" Xie Lian holds on to his little energy. "Pei Ming, it's a bit dark. My stomach is heavy, it hurts." He says letting go of the walkie-talkie. "Xie lian? Xie lian!" Hua Cheng yells down the line. The last thing having heard was Xie Lian in pain.

"I need help in room 209. Now!" Pei Ming radioed gazing at the heart monitor. It was so fast but his blood pressure was dropping. Not good. "Xie Lian can you hear me? Xie Lian?" The boy opens his eyes, when did he close them? "I'm okay, just my body seems to be rejecting the PEG." Pei Ming looks pained. He gently unbuttoned Xie Lian's sleeping top pulling them away to look. "The area isn't red or swollen but your stomach does seem tense. You're so pale and clammy. Xie Lian, how long have you felt like this?" Xie Lian huffs. "I only woke up ten minutes ago, how long was I asleep?"

Pei Ming checks his watch and wrinkles his face. "Too long if this has been happening for a while. We're lucky you woke up." Xie Lian smiles, it's small and painful but full of love. "Thank Hua Cheng for that."

"What's going on here?" Ling Wen asks walking in briskly. "Doctor Wen." Xie Lian calls weakly. She smiles quickly at the boy then turns to the nurse. "A heavy stomach, pain, high heart rate, blood pressure low, clammy, out of breath." Pei Ming lists as others start to filter in.

"Xie Lian what's going on? What's happening?!" The walkie-talkie buzzes. Pei Ming sighs frustrated. Xie Lian is close to tears at this point. "Hua Cheng." He calls weakly. "Hua Cheng!" He calls. "Tell him- tell him I'm sorry."

Pei Ming strokes the youngers head. "It's alright Xie Lian." He soothes. "Here." He presses the button. "He can hear you. Speak." Xie Lian sobs he'd never say it but he's scared. "Hua Cheng, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He hiccups. Pei Ming and Ling Wen share a look. The nurse sighs as Ling Wen starts to feel his abdomen.

"Xie Lian it's okay, I know you're scared but it's all right. Take some breaths for me. Relax. You'll be okay." Pei Ming actually appreciates the way this kid is calming Xie Lian down. "Don't be mad at me." Xie Lian gasps. "Ow! Ling Wen!" He screams as she presses down. "Sorry Xie Lian." She says sympathetically. "Xie Lian I would never be mad at you. Ever." Hua Cheng says sounding upset.

"Think of the things you like." He says. "Bunnies. Fluffy bunnies doing yoga in cute embroidered clothes." Xie Lian laughs weakly then winces. "Ow ow ow." Ling Wen sighs. "It's not good." She says to the room.

Xie Lian let's out a sob. "Am I rejecting the PEG?" He asks. "Am I- is it time?!" He asks even more upset. "I-I-"

"No Xie Lian, it's not you, this is an unfortunate complication." She says. Pei Ming seems to understand. "Massive retroperitoneal bleeding?" The doctor nods. "Oh god that sounds so scary! What even is that?!  Ah-" Xie Lian sobs. "Blood is pooling in your abdomen." Ling Wen says gently. "What? How much? Can you fix it?" Pei Ming nods. "It's rare, but there's treatments to try. We caught this quick enough."

Xie Lian let's out more sobs clutching his blanket. "The world wants to kill me." The walkie-talkie buzzes. "It's okay Xie Lian, don't worry they can help you and I'm here. Just calm down." Hua Cheng's voice sounds out.

"He needs emergency surgery. Call down code red. Tell them I want a Percutaneous drain done immediately. Keep it in for two hours, to make sure. Monitor what comes out and make sure no more leaks. Get two bags of red, send them down with him. If I'm to guess he's nearing 17% loss. Get a transfer bed ready we move in five." Ling Wen says. "Don't worry Xie Lian, we'll fix this mess and you'll be okay in no time." Ling Wen says much more gently. "Okay, alright." Xie Lian whispers.

"Say goodbye to Hua Cheng Xie Lian." Pei Ming says as a the staff start to move Xie Lian onto a transfer bed. Xie Lian widens his eyes. Hua Cheng is still here! "Hua Cheng! Hua Cheng! Thank you- thank you for being my friend- you were." He sobs. "Your my-" he cries harder frustrated by the pain and fogginess. "You'll be my only regret!" He screams as the team rush him away.

Pei Ming sighs listening to the chokes sounds of a reply. "Hua Cheng is it?" He asks knowing full well who the boy Xie Lian talks about constantly is. "I'm Xie Lian's head nurse. I know it sounds stupid but honestly don't worry Xie Lian won't die that easily. He'll pull though, just wait for him."

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Hua Cheng did. He waited. He waited a week before he heard from Xie Lian. "Hua Cheng?" A timid voice sounded from the walkie-talkie that was propped on his bed side cabinet. Hua Cheng didn't personalise his room like others did. He had a few items, the essentials, a book or two on butterflies and a fox plushie. But other than that his room was just like he arrived in. "Hua Cheng are you there?"

The reply was almost immediate. Hua Cheng isn't embarrassed to say he scrambled for that stupid oversized telephone. Or how he almost fell of his bed to do so.

"Xie Lian? Thank god you're okay. Your nurse told me the drain was successful but that you were too weak to talk to me. I waited for you. I'm just-" Hua Cheng shudders out a laugh. "I'm just so happy to hear your voice." Xie Lian sniffs on his side trying not to cry. The past week all he's thought about was Hua Cheng. "I'm sorry I worried you, I made you wait. I even said... I'm sorry. I'm okay for now. I miss you."

Hua Cheng laughs. "I miss you too. I'll always wait for you. However long it takes. Don't apologise." Then snorts lightening the mood. "Should I say how concerning it is you said 'for now' and not just 'now'?" Xie Lian giggle back sadly.

"Did you get your drain removed yet?" Hua Cheng notices the topic change but allows it. "I did, yesterday." He says. "Felt weird they just pulled the whole thing out. Like yoink- drain no more."

Xie Lian giggles. "Eww, I know how you feel about drains now too, they feel weird. Oh you know I have a tube now too, we could have been tube twins." He says. "Oh you still have the drain in?"

"No," the shorter says softly. "It's a more long term tube, same one that caused that little- accident. By the way I'm free tomorrow, shall we meet like usual." Hua Cheng thinks it over. "Will you be okay to meet. You really scared me back then. Your nurse said you lost a lot of blood. And your energy was still very low. It takes a while to recover from that kind of thing."

"I'm sorry Hua Cheng, it was unexpected. I hate to have put you through that. And- and I'm sorry for what I said. That could easily have misunderstandings." The other laughs. "But isn't that always the way? I think I know what you meant."

Xie Lian humms. "Oh yeah? I'm glad, I won't ever regret meeting you, or liking you, or spending time with you. I want to spend all day with you! Everyday!" He cheers. "But I used to think I'd die without regrets, now I have you."

Hua Cheng frowns from his room. His suspicions about Xie Lian seem to be right. He's definitely not on the rehabilitation ward. Not in the general long stay, he's ruled out mental health, and he has no idea what the peony unit is but he's going to rule that out too. That leaves one ward. Terminal.

Makes sense. He Xuan came from that unit. A rare occurrence so he's heard. And He Xuan who came from said unit, knows Xie Lian well. It's really his only option. "Are you okay now?" He asks. "I am. I'm curled up all comfy."

Hua Cheng smiles. He can imagine what Xie Lian looks like, huddled in fluffy items on his hospital bed. In a room he's sure is much like his own. Maybe more personalised. He remembers Xie Lian's bunny calendar. The books he must have and the photos he's taken that he keeps on the wall. But when he imagined it, Xie Lian always looks so painfully sad. Smiling through it all.

"I could visit you instead." Hua Cheng offers. "I'm sure they won't care, it's not much different to the hallway." Xie Lian shakes his head then realises Hua Cheng can't see it. "I do want you to visit one day but not yet. I'm not ready to show you what you already know."

Hua Cheng huffs. "I don't care." "I know." Xie Lian says happily. "But you will, and I don't want to put you through it over and over, yet I can't seem to find the strength to leave."

"You better not be talking about leaving me. I don't care where you are or what you have, one things for sure, we have each other."

Xie Lian smiles. "We do, so tell me somethings." He asks. "What do you like?" Hua Cheng humms. "Foxes," He says staring at the red fox on his bed. "The colour red, painting and sculpture, I like card games. Dice and fate. And butterflies are my favourite animal, I have an old vintage book on them and it's one of my most treasured items. I like the smell of jasmine, and when the light hits someone's eye and it glows. I also like tea." He laughs and Xie Lian feels lighter listening to it even if it's distorted over the walkie-talkie. "I like you too Xie Lian. I think that's were we got up to last time."

"Yeah, then I ruined it by dying." Hua Cheng chuckles. "Your not dead yet and isn't that what's important?" Xie Lian makes a noncommittal noise. "As long as you're alive I have no complaints."

"Hua Cheng?" Xie Lian ask. "I'm here." Xie Lian smiles. "I'm sure you know what unit I'm from. I hope you know I wasn't hiding it from you."

"I never asked. You never told. You hid nothing." Hua Cheng says matter-of-factly. "Still I want you to be able to trust me like I trust you." Hua Cheng humms. "Let me visit you one day." He says. "Not so I can trust you, but to prove you can trust me." Xie Lian giggles. "I don't need proof Hua Cheng. Maybe one night we can meet here instead." Hua Cheng smiles, Xie Lian can feel it. "I'd like that."

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"Are you the lost boy?" Hua Cheng asks smirking when he sees Xie Lian trudging down the hall. His dinner and a heart monitor trailing on an IV hook behind him.

Hua Cheng was there first. Standing like he had all those weeks ago. But he was there before Xie Lian. Something that never happens and it makes Xie Lian feel something. Something... not good. He's getting slower. Sure he's recovering but he was weak before then now he's struggling to walk down the hall. He refuses to use the chair of doom. Even if it sits mockingly at his door. Pei Ming having put it there for him to use on his "nightly escapes"

But Hua Cheng? Hua Cheng makes it all worth it. Xie Lian would suffer a million times over just to wake up and see that boy smile at him. "The lost boy?" Xie Lian smiles back. "The lost boy." Hua Cheng confirms.

Xie Lian shakes his head as they meet. "With you I'm found." Hua Cheng pouts opening his arms wide. Xie Lian burrows into that chest grinning like an idiot. "Then may I keep you?" "Even from death?" The shorter mumbles.

The taller nods chin resting on soft brown hair. Hair that holds the soft calming sent of jasmine shampoo. "Even from death." Xie lian thinks it over. "Maybe I'll allow it." He teases, personally he quite likes that idea. The longer he stays with Hua Cheng the more daunting his future becomes. But if Hua Cheng wants to keep him from it he's not going to complain. He'll allow it. He'll happily allow anything that boy wants. And maybe that should have been the first clue that Xie Lian was in to deep. There would be no backing out for him.

Maybe for Hua Cheng it wasn't too late. But Xie Lian knew. He knew that wasn't possible. This love would end abruptly and cause nothing but pain. Pain he so desperately wants to keep from Hua Cheng. He does hate to lose.

"That was so cheesy." Xie Lian says smiling. "It was." Hua Cheng grins helping the other to sit down. Xie Lian slouches against him. Wafting an arm free of the tangled wire that's connected to his chest. "Is this your new tube?" Hua Cheng asks following it up the IV hook. Xie Lian nods flicking it where it peaks through a gap in his pyjamas. "It is." Hua Cheng glances at it it's clearly a feeding device, if the mush and pump has anything to say about it.

Hua Cheng decides to be cryptic. "What else do you like Xie Lian?" He asks. Xie Lian thinks. "Stars. And ferrets. I like water chestnuts. They're the same colour as your eye." Hua Cheng smiles softly. "I think you've said before you like my eye. And to compare it to a water chestnut? You must really like them. I've never had them." He confessed. Xie Lian humms. "They're good. I like the smell of them when you roast them. Actually I think I like the smell of cooking a lot. It's warm, homely. It smells like care and love."

Hua Cheng grins. "I like to cook sometimes." He says. "I bake too. My specialty is brownies, for cooking it's meat buns." He says. "Would you want to try them one day?" Xie Lian laughs seeing right through him. "I see what you're doing now. You're not hiding it well." Hua Cheng pouts again. "Aw man. Points for trying?" Xie Lian nods. "5 points for trying. But I'm the king of cryptic, He Xuan will tell you that."

Hua Cheng slouches. Xie Lian giggles more. "I struggle to eat, but I can and I'm happy to. I just don't right now, and lost a lot of strength because of it. Apparently they've been talking about doing this for a while, I'd just forgotten about it."

Hua Cheng huff happily. "So meat buns?" Xie Lian smiles. "It's my favourite meal."

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"Hay Hua Cheng." Xie Lian asks the next day on the walkie-talkie. It's just after lunch and Xie Lian suddenly had a great idea. "Yes?" The scratchy reply comes. The shorter frowns at that. "Are you far away I can barely hear you." Hua Cheng laughs. "Sorry sorry, is this better?" Xie Lian pouts. "Yes thank you, anyway I had this idea..." he repeats staring at the chair by his door. Hua Cheng humms. "Really?" "Yeah want to have some fun?"

Hua Cheng laughs. "I like where this is going." He says. Then adds. "Does it involve a wheelchair by any chance?" Xie Lian grins. "It could involve two if your up for it." "I can feel you grinning." Hua Cheng says holding back his laugh. "Meet in the hallway in ten?" Xie Lian hears more laughter before Hua Cheng answers. "Make it five."

"That was a great idea." Hua Cheng concluded after seven rounds of hallway street racing. Three of which Xie Lian won. However only because Hua Cheng stoped wheeling himself pretending to be distracted whilst Xie Lian rolled sluggishly into the lead. "You didn't have to let me win. I know I'm as weak as a caterpillar." Hua Cheng laughs at that. "What a strange reference to an adorable creature." Xie Lian grins. "We'll you do like butterflies. But I think butterflies are stronger than caterpillars."

Hua Cheng wheels over bumping into Xie Lian's 'chair of doom' or 'doom buggy' as Hua Cheng like to call it. "Tell me, how so are butterflies strong?" Xie Lian smiles. "Well they don't live long, but they still do so much in the time they have. They're beautiful creatures who know they're limited. They're delicate but don't let it hold them back. I always thought it must be scary to know when you're going to die, but actually now I think not knowing is worse. You can't prepare for it."

"You speak beautifully." Hua Cheng says. "Even if your words always have hidden meaning." Xie Lian giggles. "Oh? What did I hide in that little speech of mine?" He asks. Hua Cheng shakes his head. "You never will let anyone ever hear you complain will you?" Hua Cheng exposes. Xie Lian flushes embarrassed. "Well I- I-" he stutters.

"You you can complain to me. God I think you've got the right to. You can admit the truth, don't sugarcoat it. Just let it out. You deserve to complain."

"Are you calling my situation unfair?" Xie Lian asks eyes holding something Hua Cheng can't read. The boy leans in, resting his arms on Xie Lian's chair. "I think the real question is, are you?" He whispers.

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"Hay there Xie Lian!" Shi Qingxuan yells running over the next time they're all outside. "Looking cute all curled up in that bench. Should we name it the Xie Lian bench?" They suggest. "You are always on it. Gosh it looks like it's gonna snap in two. Are you sure it's safe?"

"Hello Shishi." He greets laughing slightly, not opening his eyes. He's sat in the same position head tilted up to the sun letting the warm rays wash over him. "We missed you last week Lianlian. Hua Cheng was a mess with worry. Pacing around and pulling at his IV. I can't tell you how many times the old nurse scolded him. He really likes you doesn't he?" They giggle. Xie Lian opens his eye at that.

"He really likes me?" He asks. Shi Qingxuan nods. "Like anyone can't see it. He carries that walkie-talkie around with him everywhere just incase you want to talk to him. Refuses to be away from it for more than a second. He sneaks off every night to be with you and he talks about you with that look in his eyes." Then looking over their shoulder they giggle again. "But the same can be said for you." Xie Lian sighs. "Ah. How unfortunate for us."

Shi Qingxuan stops smiling. "What? Aren't you happy? You do like him right? I'm not delusional now too am I?? You do like him? Right? Right Xie Lian?!" Xie Lian nods. "Calm down Shishi I'm overjoyed. I really do like Hua Cheng in fact maybe I- no I definitely love him, but Shi Qingxuan I'm not made for love. This body isn't made for relationships. They won't last. I won't last. We can't." He explains. "And because Hua Cheng is so precious to me, I'd hate to put him through that pain. However..." he says waving as he sees Hua Cheng and He Xuan walking towards them in the distance. "I think it's too late. And if I know anything about Hua Cheng I don't think he's going to care. Still," he says. "That won't stop me from hating myself for putting him through this."

"I see." Shi Qingxuan says. "You've thought about it a lot." "I had a week of it looping in my head." Xie Lian says. "Us two aren't like you and He Xuan. You two will leave, you'll grow and you'll live. You can stay together or go separate ways and in the future you can come back to one another no problem. Hua Cheng and I can't do that. We have to live in the present. There really is no guaranteed future for us outside of tomorrow. I can't even promise tomorrow. But that's okay. I'll take each day as it comes."

"Xie Lian!" Hua Cheng laughs plopping down next to him to hug the boy. "Hua Cheng!" He calls back just as happy leaving Shi Qingxuan standing there sadly. "Shi Qingxuan why are you crying?" He Xuan asks patting their shoulder. Xie Lian looks over. Ah he seems to have a talent for that. "I'm sorry ShiShi i didn't mean to make you cry." Hua Cheng looks quizzical. "What did you say?"

Shi Qingxuan wipes their eyes. "Something beautiful." They smile.

He Xuan sighs. "And cryptic no doubt." Hua Cheng nods as if he completely understands. "This one's speeches are always beautiful yet filled with such sorrow. I have often been moved to tears by them." Xie Lian laughs hitting Hua Cheng playfully. "Stop it you two! He Xuan control your partner."

"Only if you control your boyfriend." Surprisingly, or not, Hua Cheng nor Xie Lian argued against the claim. They just snuggled closer like two content cats.

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"Hay hay hay!" Pei Ming sings sliding the door open. Xie Lian groans it's the only sign of life from under all those blankets. That and the gently rhythm of the heart monitor. "It's eleven o'clock and you my dear child have a doctors appointment." The nurse walks in further dragging a wheelchair behind him. Xie Lian wriggles but makes no move to actually get up. Pei Ming sighs. It's the same every time. "Xie Lian!" He yells grabbing a handful of blankets. "Its doctor time!" He whips the blankets away revealing the boy curled up tightly. Said boy whines.

"Hello hello." He coos rolling the boy onto his back. It's like handling a baby. Xie Lian goes willingly as if he has no bones. Fatigue threatening to pull him into sleep again even with all that's going on around him. Pei Ming humms a tune as he disconnects the end portion of the PEG. Rolling it up and pulling the empty food bottle from the pump. He dumps it into a tray to be dealt With later and goes back to the teen shaped lump. "My hands are cold, I'm warning you now." Pei Ming says staring to unbutton and pull off the shirt.

He removes the heart patches listening to the machine loose the connection it beeps loudly thinking it's patient is dead. Xie Lian groans pulling himself into a sitting position using the bars on the bed. "My ears are ringing." He complains. Hair adorably messy and eyes blinking rapidly.

The nurse watches the display smiling sadly. "I told you, you're using too much energy at night. These... escapades aren't good for you." He scolds helping the boy to swing his feet over the edge of the bed and checking his blood pressure. He turns off the monitor and fussed about a bit more.

"You haven't got the stamina to keep this up Xie Lian. Your body is weak. You need rest. Here." He says handing over a clean shirt. Xie Lian grumbles his thanks pulling it over his head. "You've not fully recovered from the blood lose but you go wheelchair racing in the hall?"

The boy shakes his head plopping down into the wheelchair. "I won't stop." He says softly. "I won't ever stop until I die." Pei Ming nods expecting that answer. It's been the same since he arrived. And Pei Ming has known him for a long time. "I know, now let's not keep our lovely doctor Wen waiting."

"Hmm Pei Ming are you upset I'm not racing in the halls with you anymore? You can come next time." Pei Ming snorts. "And third wheel? No thanks." Xie Lian shrugs. "Suit yourself."

As the two roll a voice shouts. "Hay is that you Xie Lian?" The nurse pauses pushing and Xie Lian whips his head around. "Pei Xiu?" Pei Ming groans. "Not him." He grumbles. Xie Lian however very much likes Pei Xiu. "Pei Xiu! Lil Xiu! Come to see your cus? Or no wait don't tell me you're here for me?" He batts his eyelashes.

The boys laugh. "No no, I'm here to drop some things off." He points behind him at the suitcase. "Oh? Who's that for? Not Pei Ming surely." Pei Xiu laughs. "No not Pei Ming that guy can get his own crap." "Rude"

Then the boy clicks his fingers. "Oooo you forgot." He says. Xie Lian tilts his head. "I'm doing that a lot." Pei Xiu snickers. "Xie Lian do you even know what year it is?" Xie Lian squints. "Is this a trick question? If I say 2022 will you tell me I'm wrong?" Pei Xiu shrugs. "It would be funny to convince you it's 2013 but you wouldn't buy that. At least I hope you wouldn't." Xie Lian shrugs back. "Never say never with me Pei Xiu didn't I already teach you that?"

"Anyway do you know what the date is?" Pei Xiu asks. Pei Ming makes a noise of understanding. "Oh now I know why you're here." Xie Lian looks between the two. "Well don't be holding out on me here. Come on out with it." He says. "I'm a very busy man you know." Pei Xiu snorts. "Sure thing, it's the fourth." He says.

Xie Lian nods slowly. "You see that would only work if I was aware what month it is." Pei Ming bursts out laughing. "Oh god, Xie Lian you crack me up. It's Ban Yue's birthday. She's 16."

Xie Lian's face goes on a journey as the two Pei's watch. "Oh."

"Oh!"

"Oh?! She's not out of here yet??" Pei Xiu shakes his head. "Not yet but she's moving into general long stay today. Since she's no longer a child." Xie Lian shakes his head. "Nope she will always be baby to me. At least she's not in terminal." He says. "I'd cry every day if I saw her there."

Pei Xiu and Pei Ming nod. "Well we have an appointment that we are quite late for so if you don't mind dearest cousin." Pei Ming says staring to wheel Xie Lian down the hall again. "Oh Pei Xiu I can introduce Ban Yue to some of my friends in gen! They're really nice!!" He shouts. "You go it Xie Lian!"

"We're so late. Ling Wen is going to kill us." Xie Lian snorts. "Oh no, there is no us. There is only you."

"How i hate it when you're right."

"Love you too Pei Ming."