Chapter Text
“Alright everyone, settle down. I’ve got some announcements to make.” A tall middle aged man stated as he stood in front of his employees. He looked down at his clipboard then looked back. He rubbed a hand over his head. He was obviously balding if the comb over through his still bright red hair was anything to go by. The reedy man was dressed in dark slacks and a white button up, a red vest tying his whole outfit together and trying to come off as professional instead of overworked. He eyed the group of men that sat in front of him on the stoop of the ancestral house that a few of them called home, giving the four youngest his own version of the evil eye. “We don’t have all day, so I want to make this quick.”
“You know who DOES have all day? MY MOM!” A large sallow skinned man bellowed before quickly turning to the albino man that sat next to him. The paler man instantly lifted his hand up to give a high five, laughing as the larger man started whoo-ing loudly. The older gray haired man behind the two rolled his eyes but stayed silent as he observed everyone around him.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, the red head sighed loudly. “Yes, we know, we get it, Muscle Man. Settle down.” Waiting for the louder pair to get reacquainted with their seats, he started the meeting. “Since some people,” He glared at the two 20-somethings sitting on the bottom step. The taller man with bright blue hair looked sheepish as he rubbed the back of neck, avoiding eye contact entirely. The shorter of the pair just rolled his eyes, scratching at his swarthy cheek trying to come off as nonchalant and quickly failing as evident by the sweat lining his forehead.
“Can’t be trusted manning the snack bar, and there’s no one else who could man it everyday, I’ve hired two new employees to help lighten the load. And when they’re not there they will be helping around both the house and the rest of the park.” He flipped through his clipboard again, double checking the information that he wrote there. “Questions?”
“Ah, what?! So you hire 2 new people and we get less pay?” The swarthy man exclaimed. “That's bullshit, Benson!”
“Can it, Rigby! You’re part of the whole problem!” Benson yelled at him. “This wouldn’t have happened in the first place if you and Mordecai could control yourselves!” He took a deep breath and wiped at his face in an effort to calm down quickly. “Now, they’ll be here in a minute and I want all of you to give them a warm welcome when the time comes.”
“Oh, I can’t wait to see our new colleagues. This is most exciting!.” The oldest member on the stoop said. He clapped and giggled without a care as he gave Benson his undivided attention.
“But Benson, Rigby is right. We’d have to take pay cuts!” The blue haired man suddenly exclaimed. “How is that fair to us?”
“Wow… What a great reception.” A new voice called out.
The men all turned their attention towards where the voice came from, noticing the two new people who had walked up while they were whining. Two people had approached with a lackadaisical detachment painted on their faces. One girl was a stump of a person, her russet skin gleaming in the early sunlight. Her hair was a bright cobalt and locced, all pushed onto her right shoulder showing off the shaved left side. She was dressed in a tight fitting T-shirt, black and with Kylo Ren’s cracked helmet splayed across her chest. Black leggings covered her legs, and all black sneakers covered her feet as she stood there with her hands on her hips and a bag on the ground next to her.
The woman next to her stood about a head taller than her companion. She wasn't paying any attention to the people around her, instead staring off into the middle distance beyond the house. The shorter woman nudged her, and the taller one zeroed in on the men staring at them. They couldn’t tell the color of her eyes because there was a glare from the sun hitting her glasses at an angle, but they could see her dark purple hair was also locced and piled on top of her head. She was paler than the first woman, and was wearing a purple tank top and gray leggings, with purple and black sneakers on her feet. There were 3 duffel bags sitting at their feet and they both had backpacks that the men could see.
Benson started fixing his clothes while standing up straight before giving the women a nervous smile. “Ladies! Happy to have you both join our, uh, happy team! You didn’t have any trouble finding the house right?”
“Oh yeah, we got here fine.” The paler woman said for the both of them, her tone very flat. When neither of them said anything else Benson cleared his throat and motioned them over.
“Yes, well, I thought that before you two get settled in and the rest of the team goes to do their shifts today we could do a bit of a get to know you!” The older man explained to everyone present. “Guys, this is Faith,” He motioned towards the shorter woman first. “And Asha. Let's give them a warm and appropriate welcome to the park.”
“Oh, that sounds wonderful Benson!” Pops said as he popped up from his spot. “Hello, girls! I’m Pops and I welcome you to the park!” The old man somehow pulled off an elaborate bow without entering the space of the other men sitting around him, before he straightened his back and started to carefully climb over his seated coworkers and walk towards the girls. With the exception of Mordecai and Rigby, the others also got up so they could meet the newcomers face to face.
The next one to speak, for the first time that day, was a burly older man with snow white hair and beady black eyes. He towered over all the others that were standing but it was obvious he wasn’t trying to be menacing with his stature. “Nice to meet ya. I’m Skips. If ya need any help, I’m available whenever.”
“Yeah, the name’s Mitch but you ladies can call me Muscle Man!” He shouted next. “Sorry but I’m sadly taken.”
“Oh, good for you then.” Faith said with a roll of her eyes. “Such a lucky person you’ve snagged.”
Asha nudged her shoulder, giving Muscle Man a bland smile. Faith rolled her eyes again and reiterated, “What a… lucky guy you are.”
“Yeah I am!”
“I’m Albert, but most people call me High-FIve Ghost, or something along those lines. Nice to meet you guys.” The albino man said next, sticking out his hand. Asha slapped her hand down on his softly without hesitation. “Yeah, exactly!” He held his hand out to Faith, and she huffed before doing the same. “Nice one.”
Left behind by their coworkers, Mordecai and Rigby weren’t in a rush to meet them.
“What the hell are we gonna do?” Rigby hissed at his taller friend. “They’re obviously here to try and take over our lives!”
“What? What are you talking about? Why would they be trying to take over our lives?”
“Think about it man.” Rigby interrupted. “First they just work at the snack bar, then they start doing all OUR normal jobs, and then we’re out and they’re in! We have to stop them before all that shit happens!”
“Dude, you are definitely over thinking things.” Mordecai stood, stretching before he yanked his shorter friend up. “Let's just go over and say hi or whatever. We don’t have to be friends with them or anything. Besides, what could we even talk about, she’s obviously just a Star Wars fan cuz of the new movies or something.”
“Excuse me?!” Faith yelled. The corners of her lips curled up into a facetious grin. “Oh I see, of course. I’m a woman. I don’t watch Star Wars for the meager plot that didn’t make sense in nineteen seventy seven is way more swallowable than the repurposed tripe that bust blocks in the two thousands. I must only watch the prequels and sequels because I'm trying to impress some dumbass man. I’m not actually interested in the psychology of Darth Vader. Or let me guess, I only like it for Kylo Ren? That I’m a fangirl? Yes he’s a hot giant dumb voiced hottie. But that man CARRIED the seaquels. I can’t take you seriously. You’re embarrassing. You bullied Hayden Christiensen, the guy who played Jar Jar Binks, AND Daisy Ridley off the internet. You’re the problem. You’re the pariah. I ACTUALLY I don’t want to talk to YOU!”
“Uhh….” Mordecai looked at everyone else before looking down at her. “I’m so-?”
“And your hair is a TERRIBLE shade of blue.” She muttered under her breath. “Way to be a dick rider.” She flipped her locs over her shoulder while looking him up and down. Mordecai felt his face heating up with a blush, and his lips pulled down in a frown as the short woman smiled smugly up at him. Skips, Pops, Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost all took steps away from the growing tension, Rigby looked back and forth between the two and Asha just rolled her eyes.
Asha sighed and stepped between the two in order to lean closer to her friend to hiss out, “Faith, cut this shit out. We need this job right now, and you are not helping things. You have to pick your battles wisely.” Turning to the taller man, she gave him a bland smile. “Sorry about that… Blue guy? We’re just nervous, having to start work AND move on the same day and all.” She bent down to grab her bag. “Happy to be working with you, man.”
“You got lucky this time.” Faith whispered as she got her own bags. She purposefully knocked into Mordecai, causing him to stumble into Rigby and fall over onto his friend. “Oops, sorry! I’m a little clumsy sometimes.”
“Don’t worry about them, they were just about to get to work. You two can follow me and I’ll show you to you room.” Benson told them. He sighed as he watched the two struggle to get back on their feet. “You two, get up and go and clean around the lake.”
“What!?” Rigby yelled as he righted himself. “But Ben-!”
“No buts! Go do it now or you’re FIRED!” He yelled before leading the women into the house.
The other men started to go about their usual days away from the house as Mordecai and Rigby stood in disbelief while trying to figure out what had just transpired.
“What the fuck?”
“I told you!” Rigby yelled. “I told you they're trying to steal our lives!”