Chapter Text
She feels disconnected from this reality.
As if everything around her is happening to someone else. This isn’t her , but another person. A stranger; she is in the body of a stranger. Yet, she has full control— full consciousness. She is entirely, and completely, Royce Jaeger.
Even if she doesn’t want to be.
“Roy.” A small hand touches her shoulder. The young girl blinks her light blue eyes languidly, returning back to the world around her (as much as she loathes to admit it exists; it is still there, waiting for her). Following the hand to the body it is attached to, Royce meets the gaze of her twin brother (she didn’t have a twin before; this was different).
He watches her with innocent eyes, the same shade of blue as her own. They are both only four years old, but, unknown to everyone but herself, Royce is so much older.
“Roy,” her brother says again, and tugs at her dress when she continues to only stare at him. “Ready to go? Father is waiting for us.”
Sighing, Royce stands from the stone steps she had been planted on. She was reading; trying to familiarize herself with the land’s “history” when she had zoned out and lost herself. Brushing off the dirt from her dress, Royce keeps a hold of the large book in her left hand, and holds out her right hand out for her brother to take.
A breeze blows by, gently moving her long, black hair from her face. Her dress also moves with the wind, lightly hitting her ankles. Her brother smiles at her, taking the outstretched hand without much hesitation; his blond hair is a mess now, ruffled by the wind. The sight makes Royce smile.
This new life is hell, but it is better than her previous life and that’s enough to keep her going.
“Let’s go, Zeke.”
Liberio is by no means small, but it certainly feels like it. At least, it feels that way to Royce, who has only ever seen the inside of the internment zone. It’s common knowledge that Eldian Devils are not to go past the wall unless explicitly told otherwise by the Marleyans.
This was drilled into Royce’s head by her father, Grisha Jaegar. A young man with black hair much like her own, and gray eyes that neither her nor her brother inherited. Which is a shame, because she favors the subtleness of the dull color—especially when compared to her own obnoxiously bright eyes (they suit her mother and brother better). She can’t remember what she used to look like, but she likes to think she had the same preferences back then as well.
Royce thinks that Zeke also received some form of a lecture on why they must stay within the walls, but she knows it was entirely different from the one she had received. Her father treats her differently than her brother. Not because of anything malicious, but because he recognizes how eerily smart she is.
Having a past life and retaining your memories will do that, and it isn’t like Royce tries to hide her “genius”. She acts on autopilot, her mind working tirelessly on her thoughts as she tries to work through what’s happening to her. She had died, and was reborn into an unfamiliar world, with an unfamiliar family. She has a new name, a new face, a new life. Of course she has trouble focusing on the present, because this is not where she wants to be .
No matter how much she tries to whisk herself away in her daydreams, she will always return to the cage that is Marley in the end.
Despite how much she zones out, Royce had listened when her father pulled her aside one day to explain the seriousness of their situation. They are practically prisoners without proper chains; dogs without leashes. Grisha had taken Royce by her shoulders when she was only three years old and spoke to her with such emotion that the man had cried .
Royce was brought to tears, too, just hearing the deep pain in her father’s voice. The desperation was enough to make Royce feel as if she was also experiencing everything he had gone through.
“You’re a smart girl, Roy. Truly a gift I didn’t think I deserved, but here you are, ” her father had said. “ I know you’ll protect your brother. Don’t make the same mistakes I did with your Aunt Faye. Don’t ever be like me, Royce.”
The young girl didn’t quite understand the intensity of her father’s words until she had witnessed the abuse the Eldians received firsthand.
The memory, despite its slap in the face, was not as clear in Royce’s mind as you would think it would be. Zeke probably remembers it much more clearly than she does, what with the way he flinches whenever the Marleyans so much as glance their way (which is rare, and if they do it’s only to sneer).
Maybe it stunned her to the point of her mind forcing her to forget it, or maybe she didn’t really care much for it. The latter made more sense, as she had been through worse during her previous life. Either way, it took some pondering on her part in order to piece it together enough to actually… make sense of it.
It was a nice day, or it had started as such. Grisha and Dina had decided to take Zeke and Royce out to see a bit more of Liberio, which was a relaxing change of pace— Royce was tired of only knowing the walls of her home and the streets surrounding it.
Royce had thought they were walking without a destination, just enjoying the peaceful weather, but Grisha had a look in his eyes... If she had been paying attention to him instead of her new surroundings, maybe she would have been prepared for the “life lesson” he had planned for them.
As it were, the Jaegar family ended up at a tower that overlooked Liberio. It was open to the public as an observation tower, but this early in the morning, no one else was there to enjoy the view with the family. In fact, Royce remembers it being so early that the sun had finally just fully risen by the time they had climbed to the top of the tower.
Dina held Zeke in her arms while Grisha had a hold of Royce. Together, the family looked at the place they called “home”. While Zeke and Royce looked awed by the view, Grisha and Dina looked nothing but forlorn.
“Take a good look,” Grisha finally broke the silence; his hold on his daughter tightening just a bit more as he did. “This is Liberio. This is where we live.”
Royce remembers now, much more clearly, what her father had said that day. He called Liberio a bird cage, and, not a moment later, a Marleyan janitor that took care of the tower ran them off. Not before tossing his dirtied water at them.
Yeah, Royce remembers that. The water stunk and stained their clothes. Some of it had even gotten into Zeke’s eyes, making the boy cry all the way back to their home. He didn’t stop until they were placed in the bath together. Why didn’t she remember something so prominent until now?
Misplaced memory or not, Royce really did get it after that. Liberio truly is a bird cage, and all the Eldians are birds.
Beautiful, tiny birds with broken, clipped wings.
Once a week, Royce and Zeke are left in the care of their grandparents.
Royce isn’t entirely sure why or where her parents go. It is just something that has always been done. Zeke used to get upset whenever they left in the evening, immediately questioning their grandparents as soon as he could. A social dance club was the answer, but for some reason, Royce didn’t buy into that.
Neither did her grandparents, she liked to think.
Royce can see it in their eyes— wherever it is that Dina and Grisha go off to, their grandparents do not approve in the least. Naturally, this makes her curious, but she knows better than to pry… maybe if the world was like her previous one, she’d sneak off in the night to follow them.
Doing something like that in this world is foolish, however. Curiosity kills the cat and then some if you step an inch out of line. The Marleyans will find the smallest reason to crush you into the ground, no matter the excuse.
That’s what happened to her Aunt Faye.
Just thinking about the chilling tale makes her lose her appetite. Her father preached it to her, heedless of the effect it would have on his three-year-old daughter. This was something she needed to know as the responsible sibling. He would not let history repeat itself; at least not like this.
“I’m full,” she announces to the table, pushing her plate away from her.
Her grandmother clicks her tongue. “Already? Dear, you’ve barely touched anything! Are you not feeling well?”
The only way out of this is to lie, which Royce finds no issue doing if it means getting to where she needs to be. Not to mention, it’ll be harmless to do so— it would probably be worse to be honest in this situation.
Royce nods. “Sorry. Zeke can have my share.”
Zeke looks happy at the idea of extra food, and, though Grandmother seems hesitant to let Royce go to bed without food, there isn’t really another option. They can’t store food for later like they did in her previous world. Any food prepared at that moment has to be consumed before it spoils.
“...Alright. Off to bed with you, then. Don’t forget to wash up first!”
She doesn’t hesitate to slide out of her chair, bidding goodnight to her family.
xxx
Later that night, Zeke rolls over to face Royce’s would-be sleeping form. The boy keeps squirming restlessly, making sleep impossible for her.
His eyes bore into her, but, still, she continues to feign sleep, waiting for Zeke to “wake” her up himself. He always seems nervous when it comes to doing something so simple, but she learns to just accept his mannerisms. He is still a child after all; nothing like her.
“Roy…?” He finally whispers after what seems like ages.
“Hm?” Royce replies instantly, making the boy flinch. She wants to smile in mirth, but holds herself back in case he takes it the wrong way (another thing he seems to do; read into a situation with the entirely wrong understanding, and then making the incorrect assumption).
Slowly, as not to startle him again, Royce opens her eyes.
“What is it, Zeke?”
Zeke pauses, worrying at his lip as he debates something in his mind. When the silence goes on for too long, Royce slowly rolls over to face her counterpart and gently takes a hold of his hand. Zeke, though surprised by the gesture, is immediately comforted by his sister’s presence.
“Where do you think they go?” Zeke doesn’t say who he is talking about, but Royce knows all too well who he is referring to.
“I don’t know,” Royce replies, blinking languidly. She turns her head to stare at the ceiling. “Does it matter?”
Zeke’s hand holds onto hers a little bit tighter, and he seems to curl himself around it. Averting his gaze, he shakes his head into his pillow. “No… I guess not.”
Royce glances at him from the corner of her eye. Her brother seems a bit downtrodden now; that isn’t the answer he had been hoping to hear. Sighing softly, Royce gently ruffles Zeke’s hair, drawing his eyes to her once again.
“Tomorrow, do you want to play catch after our lessons?”
Immediately Zeke brightens. “Yes!”
Catch is a game that Zeke adores. Royce, however, finds the activity boring. The constant back and forth of it all doesn’t do much to stimulate her. She’d have more fun running laps around the district.
Zeke loves it though, so, by default, Royce will always choose to take part in it for her brother’s sake.
She remembers one day when she was inside studying, her brother was outside playing with the beaten-up ball. Grisha was supposed to be out there with him, but, like always, disappeared for some reason or another.
Royce looked outside to hopefully catch a treasured memory of her brother and father bonding, and instead saw Zeke alone, tossing the ball against the aged wall behind their home.
She never wants to see that lonely look on his face again.
So here she is, witnessing her brother’s smile as she tosses the ball back to him. Zeke leaps up (even though he really doesn’t need to) to catch it in his bare hands with a laugh. Royce can’t help but smile a bit herself, but is quick to lose the expression when Zeke’s own throw goes over her head.
Zeke laughs at her pout, watching as she runs to retrieve the ball.
“You’re terrible at this, Roy!”
“Maybe you’re just too good.”
Zeke flushes; Royce knows he’ll be happy for the rest of the day.
Zeke and Royce’s visits to their grandparents become more frequent, and soon they are practically there every night. Royce takes this in stride, knowing that her parents probably have a reason for this, yet, she can’t help but feel more and more distant— as if they aren’t even her parents, but a kind couple that stop by to watch them from time to time.
This distance makes Royce realize that she doesn’t really know much about her parents, nor has she ever spent a lot of time with them. Sure, they’ve had a few days where they do something together, but a part of her knows that their family is not a normal one. Seeing her mother and father shouldn’t be so rare like it is now.
Royce tries to convince herself that she is wrong and just overthinking because she is upset with them for neglecting herself and Zeke. However, there are no “fond” memories to think up to remind herself she is wrong. There are no precious memories with her father or mother to shoo away the darker thoughts.
If anything, past memories threaten to mix with new ones. Royce confuses what happened in the Before with what is happening Now. She knows she never went on a fishing trip with Grisha; she knows Dina never taught her how to bake apple fritters (a family recipe; her mother would boast).
She knows all these things, but she can’t help but forget occasionally.
“Do they not… want us anymore?” Zeke asks his sister one evening. They’re both at their grandparents’ home once again, and freshly showered. Dinner had been a quick affair, and for once their grandfather didn’t think to share the Marley propaganda with them.
Royce pauses in her movements, having been combing Zeke’s hair.
“Why would you think that?” She decides to ask, not wanting to deny nor confirm Zeke’s question.
The blond shrugs, adjusting so his knees are held to his chest. “It feels like they just dropped us off and ran away… Even when we are together, all we do is study.” Royce knows that Zeke also wants to complain about how the lessons Grisha teach are entirely different from the ones their grandfather teaches, and it confuses him. She leaves it unsaid for now, having heard it all before.
“Hm,” Royce hums in reply. The twins switch positions so now Zeke is the one combing Royce’s hair. Much like her, he is gentle with his movements— sometimes she feels like he could lull her to sleep with how careful he is. “Maybe it’s just as grandmother says, and they’re busy with their jobs and clubs.”
“Maybe…” Zeke says quietly, obviously discouraged.
They both sit in silence for a moment, before Royce finally speaks up again. “They might not be here but… I am. We have each other, Zeke.”
“Yeah.” Zeke’s voice is tight, obviously holding back tears. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad we have each other.”
“Me too.” Royce smiles even though she knows her brother can’t see it.
Days go by pretty much the same for the twins. They spend a majority of their days with their grandparents, and on the days they do see their father and mother, it is only during the daytime hours. As soon as the sun sets, Royce and Zeke are dropped back off at their grandparents’ home once again.
This becomes their new normal. They do their school work, play, and then go to bed. Everything remains simple until some time before their fifth birthday; Marley begins a program to create warriors out of the Eldians.
The age minimum to start is five years, and, just like that, Grisha and Dina become a larger part in both Royce and Zeke’s life again...
story rec: “of epic proportions” by authorinprogress97