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It was finally over, the debate had been decided. Sans came out on top and there was nothing Reigen could do.
As Reigen broke into tears, Mob came over to comfort him.
“It’s alright, Master. Can we go home now?”
He asked. Reigen dug into the carpet and choked.
“I just, I just can’t believe it. After fucking all those men, how did I lose to that dickless skeleton?” He cried out.
Sans noticed and came over sadly.
“Errrr errr errr errr” he said which meant “I’m sorry Reigen, mean no hard feelings man.”
Reigen looked up and sniffled.
“Y-you really mean that?” He said, tears glistening in his eyes.
“Of fucking course man.” Sans lent out a bony finger to the taller human man and helped him to his feet.
“I’ve been feeling down myself lately.” The skeleton explained.
“How come?” Reigen asked, shaking his hand.
“Komaeda left me.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, now I got you.” Somehow, the skeleton smirked. Though he could hardly tell, Reigen sensed it and blushed.
“Well..” he said pondering, “I’m sure Serizawa wouldn’t mind if I just fucked one more guy.”
The two walked into a closet on an upper floor, leaving Mob and Frisk behind in childish confusion.
Part 2:
Sans and Reigen had been forming a perfect, most excellent romance with each other for the past few hours. They watched movies, went on dates, Reigen taught Sans how to scam- I mean exorcise demons and evil spirits, and Sans taught Reigen how to play basket ball. They had a ton of sex too. Like, a lot of fucking sex.
During hot dogs that night Reigen and Sans were looking at the stars.
“You know.” Reigen said, leaning himself to look at Sans. “Today has been such a great day. Hey, you know what that constellation looks like?”
He said, pointing.
“What?” Sans asked.
“The Queen of England.”
“What about it?”
“It just reminded me of something, come on.”
“Master, are you sure this is a good idea?” Mob, being Mob, seemed concerned. And rightfully so. His conman master had no business traveling to England and killing Her Majesty, but Reigen insisted that something in his heart was just calling to do so.
“I’m positive Mob.” Reigen said in total confidence.
“And don’t worry, Sans will be there to help me.”
He winked, and Mob stood blankly.
“Stay safe Master.” He said.
“I will Mob, don’t worry.”
He turned to Sans.
“Ready?” He asked.
“Ready.” Sans nodded.
Then the two headed out the door and took the flight from Japan to England. When they arrived, they immediately switched from cab to cab in order to get to Buckingham palace.
“How are we going to do this?” Sans whispered, the two crouched around the bushes.
“With this.” Reigen smirked, and took out a small plastic baggy with a blue, rock candy like substance in it.
“This my friend, is meth.”
“Holy shit.” Sans couldn’t believe it.
“A good partner of mine hooked me up with some.”
“But how will we hide it?”
“We put it in her tea.”
The two then had a successful, but exhausting entry into the palace. They snuck into the kitchen and awaited for the room to be clear while hiding in the depths of a nearby closet. Once the servants had left, they formed their plan neatly and cautiously and tip toed over to the tea pot, while barring pots over their heads and making extremely slow movements.
Once they reached the crate carrying the pot, Reigen quickly shuffled the meth out of the baggy and into the pot, then shut the lid and the two quietly rushed out.
They took exit through a very small opening near some bushes that didn’t contain any guards. Fighting the guards off before was hard, but worthy. Thank God Reigen was now dating Sans Undertale.
The two tumbled out into the streets and hid behind various trash cans and alley ways before finding themselves in a safe, public area.
“I can’t believe we did that.” Sans said.
“Now we just wait. I couldn’t have done it without you.” Reigen smiled. The two kissed shortly, but Sans pulled away.
“But wait-“ he said.
“What’s wrong?” Reigen frowned.
“What happens now?”
“Well, she overdoses and dies.”
“But why did we do that?”
Reigen thought for a little, but then smirked and snickered under his breath.
“Because, Diana needs me.”
Sans nodded in understanding and the two walked off hand and hand into the streets and back to the airport safely.
Part 3:
When Reigen and Sans had returned it became very late.
Mob was no longer in the office, having gone back to his respectful home.
Reigen closed up officially and then went home immediately, falling asleep into Sans’ arms. Tomorrow was a very big day indeed.
When he awoke Sans was missing. Instead, very loud and jittery yelling emerged from the living room. He shuffled out of bed in a haze but when he stumbled out into the living room, he knew what had happened.
“Babe, look!” Sans exclaimed, shooting a finger towards the tv.
“It worked!” He yelled. “The Queen’s dead!”
“Holy shit.” Reigen froze and could hardly contain his emotions.
“I can’t believe that my lawyer helped me for once.” He clasped his hands together and tilted his head towards the ceiling with his eyes closed.
“Thank you, Saul Goodman.” He said before immediately being shaken back into reality by Sans, who was jumping for joy at the seems.
The news reporter continued on,
“Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth The Second, has been announced dead.” It repeated once more. Soon, Reigen had also joined in on the excitement, and they were both jumping.
“I need to tell Serizawa!” Reigen reached for his cell.
“I need to tell Undyne!” Sans dialed in.
Reigen began bursting into tears of joy through the other end.
Today was a time for happiness, celebration, freedom.
Meanwhile, the Queen had awoken in a dark, fiery place. Unsure of where she was, however, in the distance she could hear the sounds of MCR live in Boston play through an invisible, non existent set of speakers.
Then, she heard footsteps.
The footsteps quickly formed into a person.
It was Princess Diana, holding a large katana, just like The Bride’s from Kill Bill.
She frowned a frown of sorrow, but rage and disgust.
“Your time has come.” She announced, lifting up the sword.
“I have been awaiting for this very moment, and now I can finally be at peace. Goodbye.”
The Queen did not get a chance to plead, beg, or even react as the katana so swiftly cut directly through her torso.
She was split in a transversal body plane, and swiftly her body slid into two separate halves.
“Enjoy your new life.” Diana stated before capping her katana and walking away, preparing for her departure into the heavens.
The Queen’s soul had now been separated, and she was now in a blinding white room filled with a very long line of seats taken by other people.
She sat down at the most recent and empty seat.
“What is this?” She asked to a man seated next to her.
“The reincarnation room.” He said, keeping his eyes glued to his magazine in hand.
“On the screen, it will show you where your next destination is.”
“This certainly doesn’t seem so bad.” She said. But little did she know, Diana truly had planned the worst of her.
The screen in front changed to a different image, and this time it sported her name.
On the screen next to her name, was a blonde lady with a cheery face in a white bra with some light jeans. She was sitting on the floor, with her hand up to her stomach.
“Next stop.” It read, Elizabeth stretched forward, “Malibu Paytas.”