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Sausage swung his axe to dispatch the zombie trying to punch Joey, watching it vaporize after only one hit.
“Thank you! My hero.” Joey chirped, causing Sausage paused in putting his axe away. He turned to beam at Joey and puffed his chest up proudly, warmth spreading to his cheeks.
“It’s a little dark and scary outside, lots of mobs everywhere! Oh be careful, I believe the demon is around here somewhere. He usually shows up during rain and thunderstorms.” Sausage spun around and squinted at the trees around him, trying to see if he could make out Xornoth’s shape before realizing he’d completely ignored Joey to do that. He spun back around to see Joey with a half-frightened, half-elated expression, making his heart sink. He knew it wasn’t for him.
“Oh, oh! How do I look? How do I look?” Joey turned quickly, modeling his wings and outfit. It was pretty much the same thing he wore every day, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t impressive. After all, he himself wore the same cape every day. It was the height of fashion! Well, actually, he didn’t know anything about fashion. Fwhip probably knew more about fashion than he did.
“You look very majestic, yep, very very majestic,” Sausage complimented Joey, smiling dreamily up at his friend.
It was true, Joey did look magnificent. The neck shawl or whatever it was that Joey was wearing didn’t hide Joey’s impressive muscles, and his tight shorts showed off even more of his impressive physique. His feathers were glorious, shining in every color of the rainbow, looking so soft and downy. He reached his hand out wistfully to run his fingers through the feathers, before pulling it back. That would be weird, if he did that. Joey would think he was weird. And that’s not what you want your crush-slash-best-friend-slash-fellow-cult-member to think about you. Especially when he’s dating the demon you serve.
“Oh, okay, good,” Joey look relieved, his feathers smoothing down and face relaxing. Sausage liked that face, almost as much as he liked Joey’s easy grin. It was hard not to when Joey was so cute.
“Yeah, gotta make sure you look your best when the demon comes, yeah?” He teased, smiling up at Joey.
Joey nodded affirmatively, though he wouldn’t quite look Sausage in the eyes. He was fiddling with his feathers, looking very nervous and very unlike the Joey he knew best. He was going to ask, but he shut his mouth when Joey began to speak. “So I’m looking to make a banner, and I need your help… I heard you were the banner king or something?”
That. Didn’t explain what he was wondering. But it would be rude to change the subject now, so he led Joey to his banner shop, despite many encounters with mobs along the way. “O-okay, I think it’s the blood sheep, hang out right here, please! Thank you, all right, come in, come in! It’s safer in here.” Sausage’s chuckles hadn’t quite died yet as he pulled Joey into the warm safety of his shop. Joey was laughing too, ruffling his feathers to clean them from unwanted moss and dirt.
“It’s not very well lit around here, is it, Sausage?” Joey quipped, smiling teasingly at him.
“I- well- it’s- I- your area’s not very well lit either, Joey, don’t judge me!” He squawked indignantly. “You have the same problem!”
Joey just laughed at that, slinging his arm over Sausage’s shoulders. “So where’s the banners?”
“Oh! They’re upstairs, come along this way,” he chattered, leading them to a relatively large shop. There were several labeled barrels, some with banners poking out from them. There was a tired-looking villager there, staring at the two rulers warily.
“This is the head banner maker! Good morning, or actually, is it night? Ohhhhh we interrupted your sleep. I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay, I’ll raise your wages!” Sausage promised the poor villager. The poor guy had just wanted to sleep, not to deal with two rulers in his house at some odd hour in the morning.
The villager sighed, nodding to Sausage his king and offering Joey a half-bow before heading downstairs without a word. If Sausage had to guess, he’d say he was getting coffee. Joey offered the man a smile, watching after him curiously.
“So here are the dyes, here are the banners, and here are the banner patterns! I do have the globe banner pattern in here, let me get it for you.” It was rather unnecessary for Sausage to list where everything was, as it was all labeled, but it made him feel useful.
“Oh, okay, thank you,” Joey thanked him as Sausage handed him the pattern, looking around distractedly. “Do you mind if I use your workshop?”
“Oh yeah, yeah of course! My house is your house! Well, it’s not technically my house, but it’s part of my empire—you know what I mean.” Sausage stammered out.
The nervous look began to reappear on Joey’s face as he worked, and he wouldn’t look up at Sausage. Which was probably for the better, honestly, since he was working on a banner. “So, I… I have a bit of a confession to make. I have… a little bit of a love interest, and I’m—I’m making a banner in honor of him.”
Sausage forced a smile, staring decidedly at the gem on Joey’s neck instead of at his face. “Is it the someone I’m thinking of—?” The words were out before he could stop them, before he even realized what he’d said. A sloshing feeling began to form in his stomach, and he suddenly wished he was anywhere else. The only thing he could think was please don’t be Xornoth, please don’t be Xornoth, please don’t be Xornoth, please be him, be Sausage, please. He wasn’t sure who he was praying to—Aeor would never do anything for him, would never even listen to him, and Exor was probably thrilled with this development. Exor didn’t care about Sausage or Joey. The blood sheep didn’t get involved in the ‘affairs of mortal men’. No one would answer him.
“How about I make the banner and then you can guess who you think it is?” Joey suggested nervously, messing around with the dyes on the banner. There was a sincerity in his eyes, a genuine fear that silenced his complaints. He wasn’t going to upset Joey over his silly little crush on the Lost Emperor.
They were silent for a few minutes, Sausage pointedly avoiding looking at the banner. “Okay, I’m kind of nervous to share who my love interest is with you…” There was an odd lurch in his stomach as Sausage tried to think of a way to calm Joey and support him, though a part of him didn’t want to know. Didn’t want to hear Joey say it.
He forced his mouth open anyway, searching for the right words and the strength to say them. “Oh, um, you never know! I might be really good friends with them and I can put in a good word for you, if anything! I can be, like, your wingman!”
“Okay!” Joey stood up abruptly, thrusting out the banner towards Sausage’s face. “Okay, it’s been created!” He looked so proud of himself, and Sausage couldn’t help but wish that he could be that proud of Sausage one day.
“You got it?” Sausage offered a smile, even if it was a bit off-center and not as happy-looking as it should be. “Let me see it! Here, you can hang it on this wall!” Sausage gestured to the only blank wall in the entire banner shop, a spread of empty space likely used for the sole purpose of hanging up banners.
Joey hung the banner proudly on the wall, the black fabric swinging until it stopped, sitting flush with the wall. The banner was void-black, with two red spots that looked like eyes, the kind you could get lost in. Not in the romantic way, more like these eyes will swallow you up and trap you here, so that you can never escape. The face was familiar, sending both a bolt of fear and a zing of elation through his chest, before it faded into gray disappointment.
“Oh. Oh.” Sausage knew it wouldn’t be him. He knew. There was no way Joey would have liked him, and if he somehow did, this is not how he would tell Sausage. But this was maybe worse. He’d set himself up to be Joey’s wingman, with Joey and the demon he served. Who was a demon. Who he served. He could overlook the demon bit, but the other one might be an issue. He expected this the instant Joey had said he had a love interest, but he still couldn’t muster up an emotion other than shock.
“That’s my senpai.” Joey said it oddly calmly, considering how worried he had been to tell Sausage. His eyes were slightly glazed, and he stared at the banner with something that looked almost like devoted worship.
That was probably fine.
“That’s… that’s Xornoth.” Sausage paused for a moment, attempting to bite back the thoughts that he had about this new development. Not that there was much room for those, with the sudden vacancy the revelation had caused in his head. “That is so nice,” he forced out through gritted teeth. He would support Joey if he had to bite his tongue off, if he had to third-wheel while Joey and Xornoth flirted with each other. Even if it felt like he was dying.
“Do we look cute together?” As much as Sausage wanted to deny it, Joey’s colorful scheme and the demon’s black and red palette blended together quite nicely. It would fit better if Xornoth wasn’t all black, but beggars can’t be choosers. Well. That saying actually doesn’t work, because Joey could woo anyone he wanted, so… maybe ‘you don’t pick who you love’? He knew that one was accurate.
“You actually look fantastic together, you know what, are you going to the wedding tomorrow? Or is it later today, actually? I’m not sure, maybe—it doesn’t matter, that’s not the point.” Sausage had no idea where he was going with this, only that words were spilling out of his mouth too quickly to filter or change, with a reckless sort of abandon that was really going to hurt him one of these days.
“Ooh, Lizzie and Joel’s wedding? Yeah!” Joey answered, looking equally curious to see where Sausage was taking this as he himself was. Joey, however, look excited as well, and Sausage most definitely was not excited about what he might say next.
“Yeah, yeah, if anything you know what’ll be really really cool? If you proclaim you love to Xornoth right at the wedding.” Sausage proposed the idea, sent reeling by his own words. That’s what he said? That’s what his mouth decided to say? This was not going to go well.
“Oh my god…” Joey’s eyes got a far-away look, as if he were planning it out in his mind, deciding whether it was a good idea or not.
“It’s very romantic!” Sausage prompted, waiting for a response. He wanted to make sure he hadn’t said the wrong thing, because he would rather like this to not end terribly, though he had a feeling it would end terribly either way.
“Like, after they get married, right?” Joey asked, calming Sausage’s nerves slightly. At least he hadn’t angered Joey.
“Yeah, after, don’t do it before, because then it’ll be a little weird, you know, it’ll look like you’re taking the spotlight away from them, but right after. When it’s done? I think you should.” Sausage bumped his head against Joey’s shoulder, looking up for some form of confirmation.
“Okay, I’ll be like, ‘I have an announcement to make.’ And then I’ll display the banner and say, ‘I’m in love!’ Okay. Love that!” Joey agreed, clapping his hands and doing a little spin. He looked about five seconds from sprinting through the door to prepare, and Sausage found himself blurting out anything he could say that would make Joey stay, just for a few minutes longer.
“Guess what? A lot of people are scared of Xornoth, a lot of people are scared of that demon. But if there’s one person who’s not, who’s actually pretty good friends with them, it’s me.” The words fell out of his mouth like rain from the sky, all jumbled up and spoken too fast with a desperate energy that Sausage hoped Joey wouldn’t pick up on.
“You’re friends with Xornoth?” Joey looked genuinely curious, surprised. It made Sausage wonder what Joey was thinking. Did he think that Sausage had extended his friendship to a demon because why not? Did he think he was only friends with Xornoth for power? None of those thoughts were entirely wrong. Or perhaps he was wondering if he had competition. The last thought almost made him laugh, but that would be rather inappropriate in this situation, so he bit his tongue to hold it back.
“Yeah! I could put in a good word for you with them!” Sausage really needed to stop talking. He was digging his grave to bedrock, and nothing he was saying was going to be easy to do, not when he felt this pain in his chest every time he so much as thought of Joey and Xornoth together.
“Okay yes, yeah, that would—that would, that would be so great! Thank you, Sausage!” Joey looked delighted, clapping his hands together excitedly. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, if he got Joey to smile at him like that. He couldn’t have Joey, but he could have this.
“You know what, you, you got this! This, this is gonna be great, okay? Xornoth is a little—okay, maybe a lot, or, really, Exor is—a little rough around the edges, but, uh, if there’s anybody out there for him, it’s you. You got this!” Sausage wasn’t sure how many of his words he actually believed, but at least it seemed to please Joey.
“Wow Sausage, thank you so much! I knew I could always count on you!” Joey had an easy grin on his face paired with that far-away look he had when he was imagining how something should go, or when he was planning vengeance against his enemies. Sausage just wanted to step forward and kiss that face, but, that. That’s not very proper behavior for Joey’s wingman.
“I told you! Everything’s going to be great,” Sausage couldn’t help a rush of pride at Joey’s words. That was him! Joey counted on him! Joey trusted him! Perhaps he should stop acting like a lost puppy, but he couldn’t help it. It just made him happy, to be appreciated and trusted and believed in, especially by Joey. He trusted Joey more than anything. That’s was why he’d betrayed Gem and Fwhip, wasn’t it? For Xornoth and power, of course, but also for Joey. Because Joey came with those two things. And if he’d sided with Gem and Fwhip… he wouldn’t have Joey. And was it worth it without him?
“I’ve made some, uh, deals—promises—whatever you want to call them!—with the demon. He promised me I’ll be a great warlock, I’ll have great magic, I’ll be even more powerful than Gem! But to, uh, do that we… have to kill the dragon. That’ll free him, restore him to his full powers, and then we can have everything we want! And you can have your boyfriend!”
“Yeah! Let’s kill that dragon!” Joey cheered excitedly. “Hold on, I gotta prepare my weapons, get some golden apples, ooh! We could use some totems of undying!” He ran off, presumably to begin to prepare for the dragon fight. Sausage watched him leave longingly, wishing he could follow Joey and talk to him more, to hang out with him and maybe get a few cuddles. Because cuddles aren’t just romantic! They can be platonic! And he. He would really like to cuddle with Joey. Really, he just wanted cuddles. He hadn’t gotten cuddles since he was, like, eight. He would like kisses, too, but Joey liked Xornoth, so he wasn’t going to get those, and who else would like him anyway?
Well. At the very least, he was in the friend-zone, by which he meant they were friends, not that—well, the other meaning works too, because Joey didn’t like him. He liked the demon.
He was maybe a little bit jealous about that.
Okay, so, maybe a lot jealous.
In his defense, Joey was very pretty! And funny and bubbly and always nice to him and also he was very, very hot. But that didn’t matter because he wasn’t telling Joey. Joey would be happier with Xornoth. Probably. Maybe. Xornoth was a demon, so he might hurt Joey, or manipulate him, or…
Sausage was going to stop thinking about that. Xornoth was nice to him! And he was pretty too, a darker aesthetic than he usually preferred, but he could see why Joey liked him. The demon was a catch.
It would be fine. Nothing would go wrong. Everything would be great.
They just had to kill the dragon first.