Chapter Text
“I met someone in Minnesota. And this story about me does have a point. Um, their name is Kai and they are non-binary, and since I’ve been with them, I have felt opened up in a way I never imagined. Things and people don’t need to be constantly defined in order to be loved unconditionally. And since I started viewing the world that way, I’ve never felt more like myself.”
“I’m really happy for you.” Teddy beamed, seemingly truly happy to see Amelia has found someone.
Amelia wasn’t afraid of sharing about her relationship with Kai. She had never kept it a secret that she is bi. Hell she had been flirting with Carina since they met. She also knew that Teddy would be okay with Kai’s identity, the way she was bending over backwards to support her child was evidence enough of that. What she felt nervous talking about was the nature of their relationship. She had never been in a polyamorous relationship before, or known anyone that was for that matter.
When Kai had first explained it to her she had bucked at the idea. She had feelings for Kai, she didn’t want to sleep around when she had them. The more they educated her though, the more intrigued she got.
*The night before the dinner party*
“So you know that evening a while back when Koracick was in town.”
“Yeah” Amelia lay with her head on Kai’s lap, only half watching the show they had on.
“And you remember when you asked me if I was married?”
“Yes.” Now a little worried about where they were going with this, Amelia sat up a little, looking them in the eye.
“So, I’m not married, and I want to clarify I am not cheating, but I am in a long term relationship.”
Amelia started to spiral. “What do you mean you aren’t cheating but you’re in a relationship? What do you call last night then?” Why was every relationship she had ever had destined to fail.
“So I’m in a polyamorous relationship.”
“Which means what, you collect wives?”
“Okay, so no, that’s bigamy, poly means being capable of loving more than one person at a time, romantically I mean, but evenly. So I have a partner, who I have been with for 5 years now, and we both see other people as well.”
“Okay… So you’re not cheating because you both do it?”
Kai had prepared themselves for a long discussion about this. Amelia had been well educated about trans issues when they met, thank goodness, but even for the most 'woke' person poly relationships were a mystery. Quite frankly they were happy she hadn't simply walked out on them at the mention of multiple partners. It wouldn't be the first time.
“Not quite. So cheating, at least for us, would be going behind each other’s backs and hiding that we have feelings for someone new. It’s about the secrets and lying, a lack of trust. When we see other people, we talk about it with each other and are honest. So it isn’t cheating.”
“Okay so they know about me?”
“Yes, I’ve told him about you.”
“Wait so, what are you saying? Do you want a threesome or something?”
“No, no, nothing like that. Sometimes we share partners but that’s not why I told you. The whole thing is built on honesty and openness. I don’t bring it up to casual flings but this seems to becoming something more, so I wanted to tell you about it, so we can talk.”
Amelia is still spiraling at this revelation. The person she is growing to love is already committed to someone else, but they could still be hers? “So I have to share you?”
“You get to share me yes, and if you want to I get to share you as well. I know this is probably new to you so please ask anything, don’t worry, no questions are stupid or rude as long as you’re open to learn.”
“Right so… wait do I know your partner?”
Kai could see Amelia trying to make the connections in her brain, working out who their other partner could be. “You have met him but he isn’t someone at work if that’s what you’re asking.” Sharing about torrid relationships with band mates may be a bit much this early in the conversation.
Amelia is making no effort to hide her confusion at the situation she found herself in. It had been in the back of her mind how they had responded to the question of marriage. She had come up with a few situations at the time, but nothing like this. What the hell where they saying, they wanted to date her but see other people at the same time? Who in their right mind would agree to that kind of situation?
On the other hand, Amelia’s imagination couldn’t help but picture Kai with someone else. Of course her first reaction to the mental image of Kai getting fucked by a stranger made her feel sick with jealously. The more she thought on it though, the more she realized it was actually kind of hot to think of the person she had begun to think of as her partner with someone else. Amelia’s voyeuristic side wondered what it would be like to see Kai’s pleasure from new angles.
Kai broke through her day dream. “Amelia, talk to me, what is going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”
“So you and him, and me, and others?”
“Ah, okay, yes. So our polycule” Amelia tilted her head to the side in reaction to the foreign word. “Sorry, polycule is the term for the structure of poly relationships, since not everyone will be in a relationship with each other.”
“Oh, okay”
“Yeah, so our polycule from my side is: Zac, my long term partner, and then I have a friend with benefits Claire, and Zac has a couple other partners including Lee who we play together with when he’s in town. And then there’s you.”
“Wow so, wait, so, so how many people are you fucking right now?”
Kai had to chuckle at Amelia’s directness. “I am, so you so delicately put it, fucking only you right now. Claire and I take a break when we are getting into new relationships and Lee hasn’t been around since July. Zac is ace, so our relationship is mainly romantic.”
“Oh, so your poly so you can date him and still get laid. Riiiiight”
Amelia felt like she could understand it now. When she had learnt about asexuality she had assumed when an allosexual person got into a relationship with them that compromises had to be made, either celibacy or sex without full feelings. The more she learnt the more Amelia understands that this isn't always the case but polyamory sounds like a great solution.
“Ah, no, well, it’s not the main reason. Of course it’s a benefit, but like all couples we have different needs and not all of them line up and most of them aren't sexual. Like I can’t stand reality TV, but Zac loves them so he cuddles on the sofa with Miles and debates who the best housemates are or whatever. On the other hand I love science, I love spending hours in the lab with someone coming up the cure for a debilitating condition, but it goes straight over his head”
“So you have me to talk to about it. I guess I can see that. But then why don’t you just have friends, why does it become a relationship?”
“I guess I would have to ask you why not. Meredith has three kids right? Does she only love one and the rest are lesser?” This whole time Kai had never once given Amelia a condescending look. They simply listened to her questions and tried to explain. “Of course not. Love can be shared out, it feels good to love, so why not spread it around. As long as everyone knows where they stand, having multiple relationships can be more fulfilling for some people.”
“Do you not get jealous? Like if I went out and kissed someone else would it not hurt you? How can you love someone fully and not mind?”
“I can see why you would think that, and yes. I do get jealous sometimes. When Lee and Zac are together but I have to work I feel bad. But that is my feeling. The logical part of me is fine with it. I know that Zac will come back to me happier and Lee can’t help needing to travel for work. It isn’t anything I am uncomfortable with in theory. The feeling of jealousy is just an irrational fear of missing out and worry they will move on without me. It is all balanced out with compersion, like the opposite of jealousy, I am happy knowing that I am able to make my partners happy when I agree to them being with other people, if that makes sense."
“That does make sense in theory. I’ve never experienced it but I can imagine it.”
“Plus it can be really hot seeing your partner with someone else knowing they will bring that energy back to you.”
“Now that I can understand.”
“Oh?” Now it was Kai’s turn to look uncertain.
“I may have had a threesome, or two, before.” Amelia couldn’t believe she had just admitted that. She had never told anyone of the time a couple had propositioned her back in LA, let alone that she had gone through with it and met up with them more than once.
“Well then, you know how hot it can be to see someone you are attached to with someone else, knowing it doesn’t change your relationship to them.”
“Okay yeah, so about us?”
“Yes us, so the big thing for me is that you need to understand that if we become an ‘us’, it would never be exclusive as such.”
“I understand that, I might need a little while to let it sink in, and I might have some more questions but I get the fundamentals.”
“That’s alright, it’s understandable you need some time. I am totally up for answering any questions you have at any point. The next thing is what rules do we want for when we see other people. I want you to know I am okay with it if you want to see other people as well or not.”
“Oh I won’t. I just want you.”
Kai kisses Amelia softly. “And that’s okay, and if it changes that’s also okay. If it does then all I ask is we talk about it.”
“Okay.” Amelia returns the kiss, this time lingering a little longer before Kai breaks away.
“But I do want to know what your limits are with me.”
“Like what?”
“Well, how much do you want to know about the other people I see? Do you want to know when I am going on dates with them? Or how a hook up went? Or do you just want a number of people? It is totally up to you how much I share with you.”
“Oh, I guess, I want to know who they are, I don’t want to know what they are like in bed but, can I meet them, is that a thing?”
“You can meet some of them. Zac would love to meet you, but Claire and I don’t share anything about our other partners with each other.”
“Wait, but Claire is a casual thing right, so how do you know you won’t pass STIs?”
“We get checked before each new partner, and every month.”
“Sorry, you’re a doctor, of course you just get checked regularly.”
“It’s okay, it’s a very valid question.” Kai could see the cogs turning in Amelia’s brain. “Whatever it is you want to ask, go ahead.”
Amelia looks down at her hands, she knows the answer is irrelevant, that she hadn’t slept with anyone since Link, but she couldn’t help but wonder. “Why didn’t you ask me of my status before we slept together?”
“To be honest I should have, but I also know the transfer rate between AFAB people is low for most things, and you’re a doctor, so you are more likely to be on top of your sexual health.”
“That makes sense, and to clarify, I haven’t been tested since I had Scout but your my first new sexual partner so all’s good.”
“Thanks for telling me. I got tested two days before the gig and it all came back negative. I am actually booked in for my next test tomorrow if you fancy coming with.”
“Ooo a testing date, you take me to all the best places.” Amelia couldn’t help but laugh at the bizarre nature of this conversation. “Seriously though, I would be happy to come with you.”
“Great. So other than wanting to meet people, and not wanting to hear about the sex, do you have any other boundaries you want to discuss?”
“It can be anything?”
“Anything, we might have to talk it over and compromise but anything.”
The more they talked, the wilder Amelia’s imagination had become. Now all she could think about was the mental image she had. “How would you feel about going out to a bar together and flirting with a stranger?”