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Shortly after receiving a packet of information, once Aizawa-sensei pulled him aside and told him he was approved for transferring over to the hero course, he was told that he needs to complete some sort of essay. While he is somewhat annoyed that there seems to be yet another obstacle in his way, he knows that he'll get it done. He's not going to let anything get in his way. He doesn't think anything of it, this is a school for those intending to be heroes. Having to write an essay isn't surprising. What does surprise him is what the essay has to be about.
He hesitates— just for a split second, a second too long seeing as Aizawa-sensei stares at him, face paling ever so slightly.
Did he think that Shinsou was changing his mind? That he regretted asking to transfer courses just because of being told to write an essay? Did he think that Shinsou wasted his time training him after the Sports Festival? Shinsou forced himself to take the slip with the essay prompt written on it, silently forcing down the dread that threatened to drown him the moment Aizawa-sensei explained what he had to write.
He's not allowed to lie.
He actually has to give enough details to be helpful. He's not sure if they have some way to be able to tell if a student is lying, but it wouldn't surprise him if they do.
…He has to write why he would become a villain, and how to take him down should it ever happen. It's not like he has to write a whole research paper-length essay, there's no bare minimum of pages required. Although, he has had teachers say that before but then they would get angry at how short the essays were…
Technically, he could write a few sentences, as long as they answered the prompt. He thought that UA wasn't like other schools, that they would differ from what he experienced growing up. He thought that maybe, just maybe, the teachers here gave a damn about their students. He should have known better than to get his hopes up. Aizawa-sensei said that every heroic student had to write an essay. Is this what caused that weird tension in Class 1-A and 1-B last month? He remembers seeing Monoma practically fleeing from the school's library, he looked as though he was being chased by his worst nightmare… Maybe, in a way, he was. Since then it was like everyone was walking on eggshells.
Only the teachers and the principal had access to the essay, he wasn't allowed to talk about it or mention it to others.
Aizawa-sensei told him how the purpose of the essay was mainly to be a precautionary measure in case they ever found themselves facing someone with a similar background but chose or were forced to choose the path of villainy. If a hero switches sides, or— if they were controlled by someone else's quirk.
A quirk like brainwashing.
Shinsou wasn't able to keep his hands relaxed, the essay prompt becoming crumpled as his grip involuntarily tightened. Aizawa-sensei stares at him with his brow furrowed, clearly about to say something, but Shinsou didn't bother sticking around to find out what it was.
He said goodbye and left as quickly as he could without it seeming odd. He doesn't think he managed it, but at least Aizawa-sensei didn't try stopping him.
Shinsou really doesn't want to think about any of this. He's thought about it enough growing up, having the words of others drilled into his skin while it was his thoughts that dealt the final blow. He doesn't want to "share" anything about himself with others. He barely knew any of the teachers here, he's only spoken to principal Nezu once! Just thinking about the possibility of them turning against him, about Aizawa-sensei looking at him and seeing nothing more than a villain in the making, it terrified him more than he was willing to admit.
Aizawa-sensei told him he had to turn the essay in before his transfer was finalized.
That means he only has the weekend to get it done. The weekend— spent at the house, for hours on end. Because during the week he can at least spend the majority of the day at school and then at the training grounds. However, on the weekends he's stuck at home with his foster parents. They both work from home and they don't like it when he goes out on his own. It's only the students that are a part of the hero course that have to return to school for a half day on Saturdays, he only has classes from Monday to Friday. It's why he has the weekends free, in a sense.
Shinsou's not sure how he's going to be able to write it without them trying to see what he's doing. If they see he's writing an essay with him as a villain— No. No, he's not going to think about it, he won't let them see it.
He can't handwrite anything, he doesn't have neat handwriting and Aizawa-sensei said it had to be sent as an email.
As he leaves the school grounds, Shinsou keeps an eye out for any students from the hero classes. Specifically, he looks for Bakugou Katsuki. Although he wouldn't mind running into or even getting a glimpse of Monoma. The students he may not entirely like or get along with, he hasn't spoken to Bakugou since that little confrontation before the Sports Festival but he knows for a fact that UA has failed him since the beginning of the term. Bakugou was just one of the many students he noticed acting odd. He saw the way all of the teachers would look at the students, how they would seem to hover near a few in particular. He just assumed that it was because someone must have made a threat against them again, maybe the League? But as time went on, ever observant, he noticed how less and less of the students started going home on the weekends. He noticed how a few of them would have to have meetings with the teachers and then go see Hound Dog. It's only thanks to how much free time he's had lately that he's been able to just wander around the school, seeing more than ever before.
It's why he ended up being a witness to an enraged Endeavor trying to get on to school grounds only for the teachers, and even principal Nezu, to stand their ground and refuse to let him pass the gates. He thinks about how shaken Todoroki looked later that day when he passed him in the halls, and Shinsou thinks he subconsciously understood why Endeavor wasn't allowed in. Did all of the upcoming generation of heroes have trauma with something? More trauma than being attacked by the League of Villains could bring? It's not as surprising as it should have been. Although, now he was curious about what the others could have written about.
If they were all able to write it, then he should be able to do it as well. He's a hero in training, he can't let something like an essay get in the way of finally getting on the path of becoming a hero.
He went home, did his chores, and quickly headed up to his bedroom. Thankfully his guardians were both in the home office, too busy to notice him. He doesn't own a laptop or any type of computer, and he doubts that either of his foster parents would let him borrow their computers either. If he wants to be able to write that essay and send it on time, he'll have to use his phone to compose the email.
Hopefully, the formatting doesn’t get fucked up in the process.
Shinsou was at a complete loss as to how to start. He doesn't feel comfortable writing an entire essay about himself, especially not one that needs to focus on imagining himself as a villain.
Maybe he could just— write this a bit differently than how he'd usually write his essays?
Shinsou Hitoshi
Age: 15yrs
Quirk: Brainwashing
Why would I become a Villain?
Off top of my head, I can think of a lot of reasons why someone would want to, or end up becoming a villain. However, I think that the reason why I became a villain would be because, well, other than the result of various situations; it's easier to become the villain than to become the hero. As a villain, there would be no second-guessing myself, no having to take a moment and think about whether or not what I'm doing is the right thing. I wouldn't have to get caught up on the "what-ifs" of every situation, I wouldn't need to waste precious time on publicity when I could be doing what needs to be done. I wouldn’t have to stop to think about whether or not my actions could get me kicked out of my home at the time, expelled, or have a mark against my record. What would it matter if I had any of that when villains don’t care about that sort of thing?
This Society of ours has a nasty habit of pretending that villains are born not made. Pretty sure that’s just people not wanting to take the blame for driving someone to that point. You see, I never considered myself a villain, and I didn’t think I had what it took to become one either. Then my quirk came in, and all of that changed. Suddenly, I was dangerous, people were scared of me. Any time I opened my mouth people would freak out, they would run from me, scream at me, and more often than not I’ve had people throw stuff at me. That’s just what I can remember.
My quirk is brainwashing, a near replica of my mother’s quirk. From what I can remember, her quirk was brainwashing, but could only use it if she was touching her intended target. Meanwhile, I need a response to any question I ask, only then I’d be able to brainwash someone. Experiencing pain usually snaps them out of it. At the moment, I can brainwash up to five people at once and I can only hold them for roughly six minutes. Trying to go past my limit leads to a headache forming, which often turns into migraines and nosebleeds. I don’t know if my mother ever had side effects from her quirk, I don't know what my dad’s quirk was or if he had any side effects either.
A few months after my sixth birthday, I was found in my birth house by a neighbor, based on what I’ve heard over the years, she found me just sitting by myself, neither of my parents was home and no one knew where they were at. She sat with me until a representative from the Child guidance center arrived. I was placed in the system, and no one mentioned my parents to me again after that. I don’t even have any pictures of them, I don’t know what happened to everything in that house, but sometime after I was taken away, someone broke in and stole everything. I don’t remember them, what they looked like, or anything we may have done together… I can’t really remember much of my childhood, only that I was moved more often than the other kids. Whether it was because they were scared of my quirk, or because they believed I was more trouble than I was worth, my social worker was often called to pick me up after a few months. Sometimes she’d do house calls and pull me out of the house after seeing what my living situation was like.
She only took me from the homes that left visible marks, she didn’t do anything about the ones who’d use their quirks on me, or those who were verbally abusive. Not that I expected her to do much for me, she was the one who’d always give my guardians a muzzle for me. Each new home I went to, she’d tell them what my quirk is, and how it works, and offer them the muzzle while telling them to “feel free to put it on him if you’re uncomfortable. He doesn’t mind.” Why wouldn’t I mind it? Do you know just how terrifying it is to have grown-ups pin you down and put a muzzle on you? It wasn’t even one that fit me. The straps were often too tight, digging into my skin. It’s left scars over the years, thankfully it’s not too noticeable. Honestly, I’m not sure the muzzle is one for humans, to begin with. The shape of it is just weird, my jaw aches near immediately and the bit on the inside, the part that goes in my mouse, makes it hard to breathe. When I was younger I used to pass out all the time because I couldn’t get enough oxygen into my lungs. At least now I’ve gotten better at keeping myself from freaking out the whole time, now I remember to calm down enough to focus on breathing through my nose.
It didn’t matter that I grew, it was always the same muzzle. I still have it, my current foster home keeps it practically on display, on top of the kitchen counter. It’s the first thing I see when I leave my room in the morning. On the weekends they don’t even leave it there, they have me wear it over the weekend, only taking it off when it’s the night before I go back to school. Thankfully they don’t force me to wear it that much, as long as I follow the rules and do my chores, they keep muzzling me to the weekend. It’s not ideal, but it’s definitely better than other foster homes I’ve stayed in. The worst home I’ve been in is tied between the one that tried selling me when I was eight and the one that used their quirk on me to get me to sleep with them when I was twelve. There’s been a few times where I’ve gotten kidnapped, and other times where I’ve almost died, but that… that doesn’t bother me that much. Not really. It’s not like I expected to live that long anyway, to be honest, I’m surprised I made it to fifteen.
I used to wish for a hero to come and save me… I thought that a hero would protect me, and a hero wouldn’t let me get hurt. I was wrong. Trying to speak out, telling an adult, or even the one time I called the police, all that ever did is get me a beating. I thought about getting help while attending UA, but that would mean moving homes again and my social worker already warned me that moving again would take me too far to be able to continue attending UA. There’s that and… after seeing what UA did to Bakugou at the Sports Festival… well, that proved to me that I couldn’t go to them for help. Not when they’re just like the people I wanted to get away from. I think that it’s my snapping that’ll lead to me becoming a villain. That or I might just put a gun to my head, but as a villain, maybe I’d finally be free to live. Although I doubt I’d be living for long, I never really had the motivation to do anything before… The only thing I’ve tried my best at is to become a hero, and even then, I failed. The entrance exam was meant for strong, flashy quirks, not for a quirk like mine. It felt like the school's way of saying that I didn’t have what they wanted in a hero hopeful. It felt like I wasn’t meant to be a hero when not even UA was willing to accept anyone into the hero courses.
Should I ever become a villain, ensure that I can’t talk, or those sent to get rid of me can’t respond. I’m horrible with bright lights, use that to your advantage. Eraserhead mentored me for a little while now, my style is very similar to his, he’d be able to come up with ways to take me down. There’s a student at UA, Monoma Neito, he’s copied my quirk before. He once told me that copying a quirk gives him a basic understanding of how that quirk works. Any weakness to my quirk that I haven’t figured out yet, he’ll be able to find.
He hesitates on sending the email.
Technically, he’s finished the essay, he answered each section of the prompt. There’s nothing else expected of him for this… he did his best not to make it too detailed, there’s already a truly worrying amount of information there that he didn’t want to write. He didn’t mean to add it, it’s just once he started writing he kept going back and deleting before worrying about it being too short and adding random bits. Then he kind of got stuck in his head for a bit while writing, and he doesn’t want to go back and edit it all out. If he does then he’ll just start to panic over what’s left and probably end up deleting everything. This was exhausting enough the first time, he’s not starting over. Maybe… maybe he should add a quick note at the bottom? Just to let them know that he doesn’t want them doing anything about what he let slip into the essay. If they try looking into his home situation, his current foster guardians will find out and if that happens- fuck. He can’t let that happen. Surely if he says he’s fine, then they won’t do anything about it? UA doesn’t care enough about their students to want to step in, but they would if there’s a chance their reputation could be on the line. Quickly opening the email draft, Shinsou added an extra paragraph at the bottom.
Please don’t draw any attention to my foster home. Yes, it’s shitty, but it’s the best one I’ve been in and they’ve actually let me stay with them for the past year now. If they find out about this essay, or that I told anyone anything about what happened here, they will kill me. It’s only for two more years, I can handle it.
He doesn’t hit send, not yet. He wants to wait until the night before school, mostly because he’s terrified that one of them might try calling the house to speak about what he wrote. That’s not something he can risk, what if he’s not the one who picks up? Not wanting to second guess himself, Shinsou’s finger hovered over the save draft button and squeezed his eyes shut. He has time to build up the courage to send it later, for now, he can just save the email. Shinsou jolts, hand squeezing around his cell phone as his bedroom door is flung open.
His foster parent, Mr. Yajima is standing in the doorway, a scowl on his face and that damn muzzle in his hand.
What he doesn't realize is that instead of saving the email as a draft, thanks to being startled, he hit send. So as he's scrambling off the bed, with his hands held out in front of him and trying to put some space between Mr. Yajima and himself— as futile as he knows it is— Aizawa is sitting at his desk in the teachers lounge with Mic by his side. Both of them are busy discussing tomorrow's training for 1-A when they're distracted by Aizawa's computer beeping. A notification alerting him to a new email. Once he realizes what the email is, he quickly forwards it to the others, and Mic sends a group message to the staff letting them know to come to the staff room.
It takes almost 20 minutes for everyone to get to the lounge, Hizashi wanted to read the essay already, he knows that Shouta's been impatiently waiting to get Shinsou's essay.
The night after giving the essay prompt to him, Shouta was so freaked out by Shinsou's reaction to it that Hizashi ended up having to calm him down before Shouta worked himself up to a panic attack. Shinsou's reaction did not look good for them, the amount of essays they've read about their students, and just what they've been through has been officially worse than any other years. Especially since Shouta didn't end up expelling anyone this time. Only it's not just class 1-A, it's Vlad's class too, too many of these kids have been in danger with no one to help them.
It made him want to scream.
It reminded him too much of when he had to write this essay, and his homeroom teacher had kept him after class one day to speak because of it.