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The ocean was dark and unruly. The waves crashed into the wood of the ship, imitating the sound of canons. Salt water jumped on the deck, leaving it slippery and wet. Big gray clouds floated over the Sunny, the threat of a storm looming over the pirate crew.
They tried to steer away, hoping they could avoid the storm, but it was already too late. Their best bet was to go straight through it.
Nami was shouting instructions, which the crew tried to follow as best as possible. They pointed their bow towards the waves and reefed the mainsails, giving their navigator more control over the ship.
The wind was howling in Sanji’s ears, canceling the voices of his crewmates. Heavy rainfall made it almost impossible to see anything, forcing Sanji to rely on his haki to make sure that everyone was still on board.
The sky shook under the loud thunder, lightning occasionally breaking through it and illuminating the darkness. The waves grew bigger with every second, carrying the ship up and down.
A big wave engulfed the whole ship, pushing it under the water. Sanji held on tight on the mast, hoping his crewmates secured themselves too. When the ship resurfaced, the sky was blue again, the clouds disappearing and the wind still. He looked for his friends and when he saw all of them on deck, he let out a relieved breath.
Nami let herself sink onto the chair behind the steering wheel and groaned, “I don’t understand, there wasn’t any sign of a storm.”
Zoro shook his head like a dog to get some water off his hair, “Maybe you’re getting old, witch.”
“The only thing that’s getting old are your stupid comments”, she spat, staring Zoro down and threatening to increase his debt even further if he didn’t shut up. She looked at her tangerine trees then and sighed, “Every time I think I finally figuered out how this stupid sea functions, it tries to kill me.”
Sanji dug his cigarettes out of his pants, which were damp and no longer usable.
“Let me make you tea, Nami-san. It’ll warm you up.”
“Oi, we’re all wet and cold too.”
“Shitty swordsman, you don’t even like tea.”
“Sanji”, Luffy catapulted himself on his back, the impact almost throwing him on the floor, “I want tea and can you make me some meat?”
“Sure. I think we could all use a snack after that work we just did.”
Luffy let him go then, now that he secured himself an afternoon snack he’d rather observe the fish that had made it on deck during the storm.
Sanji entered the galley, grateful that the doors on the ship were totally waterproof and that he didn’t need to mop the entire ship after a particularly heavy rainfall. Some of his loose cooking items, like his wooden spatulas and some pots, were laying on the floor but his kitchen wasn’t flooded and that’s all that mattered.
He opened one of the drawers where he kept some spare cigarettes, lit one and took a deep drag. The exhaled smoke exited through his mouth and traveled up in small curves.
He started to boil the water and prepared the herbs for the tea when loud screams filled the ship. One was Usopp, the other he couldn’t make out.
“Hey Sanji”, Usopp yelled so that he could hear him through the closed kitchen door, “do you perhaps have a twin?”
Sanji paled, his heart dropping to the floor.
“Why would you ask me that?”, he yelled back, a nervous chuckle following the question.
“Don’t point your sword at me”, he heard. It was the same person that had screamed before. The voice was familiar. For a second he thought it sounded like his deceased mother but that was impossible. It couldn't be.
He walked towards the door, his hand resting on the handle. This was probably another Duval situation. Not that they looked anything alike to mistake them as siblings, let alone twins, but he’d rather be called ugly than have one of his real siblings on board.
He stepped outside, where the sun was shining brightly. The light reflected off the water on the floor and blinded him. It took him a second before he could see their intruder.
“Sanji! You’re here too!”; he screamed, sounding surprised but not displeased,” Thank god, I thought I was the only one.”
He opened his mouth in shock, the cigarette falling from between his lips.
He could feel his breath hitching, his heart rate raising. He crossed his arms and held them with his hands so he could stop his body from shaking.
The intruder sprinted towards him, “What’s with the mustache? You look stupid. How did you even grow it so fast?”
With the face right before him he could make out the features of the person standing in front of him. His gaze hung on the blue eyes and the curly eyebrows, his most distinct characteristics.
Suddenly the way his wet clothes stuck to his bare skin became overwhelming. He wanted to rip them off, needed them off so he could breathe.
“Sanji, fuck”, his brother put his hands on his shoulders.
“Breathe Sanji, breathe. In and out. I know you can do it.” He kept instructing him how to breathe, his hands brushing his shoulders slowly, helping him uncloud his mind. He could feel cold sweat running down his back, mixing with the water from the storm.
“Tell me five things you can hear.”
He shook his head.
“Just five things.”
“Your voice”, he began, feeling like someone was squeezing his heart, “The waves, the sails, my breath, Chopper’s hooves on the deck.”
He continued the list, quiet and slow, inhaling more air than exhaling.
“Good, how about four textures you can feel?”
“You hands, my wet clothes”, he raised his arms to his head, “my hair.” His brother took his fingers into his own to make him stop pulling on his hair strands. “One more.”
He looked at their hands, ”Your gloves.”
“Three smells.”
“Your stinky breath, the tea I just made, the ocean.”
Two things you can taste.”
"Smoke and salt.”
“What can you see?”
He looked up, the panic bleeding out of his body.
“You, Yonji.”
He slapped his hands away and created some distance between them.
“Why is your hair blond?”, he asked.
“Because I was born with it?”
Yonji scrunched his eyebrows and put the back of his hand against his forehead.
“You good there three? You look a bit sick.”
“Don’t touch me.”
He took a few steps backwards, watching Yonji’s arm return to his side.
“What are you doing here?”, he asked him, preparing himself for an attack.
“I don’t know”, Yonji shrugged, his eyes following the motion of his legs as they changed into a defensive stance. His eyebrows furrowed even more tightly together in response. But he didn’t move to punch or hurt him. He just stood there and if Sanji didn’t know better, he would even say he looked concerned.
“I must be dreaming”, he concluded then, “That idiot marimo must’ve punched me too hard.”
“Do you maybe want to sit down? I can get you a glass of water.”
He ignored him, “Where are the others? Ichiji and Niji, you’re always with them.”
“I don’t even know how I got here”, he said and then added quieter, “Do you think they’re too worried?”
“Worried?” Sanji's face grew more irritated the second, “You don’t even know what that means! Stop playing this stupid act.”
“Sanji, what’s going on with you?”
He tried to reach out again, to touch him, maybe to put his hands on his shoulders again, to attempt to calm him again.
He shook his head, throwing out the idea that Yonji, his heartless brother, could ever calm him down.
“No, what’s going on with y-”, he stopped and looked at Yonji’s arm. “You’re bleeding.”
Yonji touched the blood with his finger and tried to wipe it away only to smear it on his skin, “Yeah, the swordsman is a bit aggressive.”
“No, you’re bleeding”, he repeated, “You don’t bleed.”
“That’s fucking stupid. Of course I bleed.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Does this ship have a doctor?”, he asked the others on the deck who were silently observing the whole exchange, “Because I think my brother hit his head pretty badly.”
“I haven’t hit my head.”
He took another step backwards, “You’re not Yonji.”
“No, I’m pretty sure I am Yonji.”
“You can’t be.”
“He’s gone off the rails. Don’t worry, I'm sure someone here can help you. Just don’t lose hope brother! At the latest there’s someone in Germa who can look at you.”
“Yonji”, he exclaimed, shutting up his brother, so he could have some quiet to sort out his thoughts.
If he knew about Germa and looked like him, then he must be Yonji. He was just different. Nicer. His skin wasn’t impenetrable. He was human.
“I don’t think you’re from here.”
“What does that even mean?”
“This is my ship, my home, with my crew”, he explained, “I’m a pirate. Have been for the last few years. I haven’t been to Germa for more than a decade. Hell, Germa thinks I’m dead.”
Yonji’s mouth fell open and he let out a short laughter.
“But that’s not true. We were there just an hour ago.”
“I think this is some Grandline stuff. Robin probably knows more about this.”
“So what you’re saying is that I landed in a different dimension?”
“Pretty much.”
He ran his hand through his hair, “Well shit, this just got complicated.”
-
Chopper bandaged Yonji’s injured arm. Sanji didn’t let him out of his sight. He couldn't trust him.
“Your wound isn’t too bad. It probably won’t scar.”
“Thank you doctor”, he reached out to touch Chopper’s fur but Sanji intervened. Yonji looked at him from the corner of his eyes and returned his attention back to the ship’s doctor, “So what are you? A raccoon dog that ate a devil fruit?”
“I’m a reindeer, you bastard.”
Yonji laughed, “Sorry, my bad.”
Sanji squeezed his eyes together, staring at the way his brother laughed with his teeth showing, a tint of red on his cheeks and amusement in his voice.
“Okay, I’m done here”, Chopper jumped off his chair and returned the bandage and ointment back to their rightful place.
“I hope you’re not like Sanji when it comes to healing and just completely ignore my instructions about rest.”
Yonji snorted.
“I’m not that bad, Chopper. Luffy and the marimo are way much worse.”
“You and I both know that that means nothing.”
“Don’t worry doctor”, Yonji leaned back on the pillow, “I love my rest.”
“Finally, someone who listens to doctors.”
“Sorry to disappoint but I’m not that fond of doctors, I do it because I’m lazy.”
Sanji could see his jaw tightening a bit but it returned to normal as fast as it had tensed.
“I’ll leave you guys to it then. Lots of catching up.”
“We don’t have any catching up to do”, he assured Chopper quickly.
“Aw come on three, I want to know how you got to be a pirate. I mean that’s got to be a hell of a story.”
“See lots of catching up!” Chopper beamed with his childlike innocence.
“Thanks Chopper”, he forced out a smile and watched his youngest nakama walk out of the infirmary.
“So”, Yonji started, stretching out the o, “your friends seem nice.”
“My family”, he corrected him.
“Oh”, he smiled shyly, “I read a book about this once”, he stopped for a short moment and leaned a bit closer to him, “Am I dead in this universe? Tell me, I can handle the truth.”
“You’re not dead.”
Yonji put his hand on his chest to show how relieved he was.
“You escaped Germa. That’s just wow. Did we all-”
“I escaped Germa”, Sanji snapped, his voice getting louder, “Germa which includes you.”
A heavy tension spread in the room.
“Oh, it worked in this universe”, he bit his lip, “ Is it bad?”
“What? The genetic manipulation that made you inhuman? Yes it’s bad.”
“Shit. On who did it work?”
“All except me.”
“Must’ve been a hell of a childhood.”
Yonji’s face had not a trace of mockery but his comment made him feel so angry.
“Don’t talk about my childhood.”
“Okay, sorry.”
Yonji swayed his upper body back and forth, clearly feeling awkward.
He coughed and then tried to start another conversation, “I hear you’re a cook.”
“A chef, a damn good one at that”, he brushed his hand through his hair, deflating a bit, “Did Luffy tell you that?”
“Is Luffy the straw hat guy? If yes then yes he told me about it. Well, more like swooned about it.”
“I’m so happy for you”, he smiled, “You always talk about it but father would never let you. You’re kinda banned from the kitchen.”
“Not like that ever stopped me.”
“It still doesn’t. You’re pretty good at sneaking around and you’ve got help”, he smirked proudly, “Can’t let my big brother get caught now can I?”
Sanji grimaced , “Don’t- don’t say that.”
“What?”
“Big brother. With your voice and your smile.”
“But you like it.”
“I’m sorry”, he turned around and wanted to flee, the whole thing a little too much.
“Fuck, Ichiji would be so much better at this. He has these stupid big brother instincts.”
“Shut up, please. None of you are good at this. Fuck not even Reiju’s good at it. You all suck. You’re terrible siblings and I hate you.”
He looked at this different Yonji and the wrinkles around his eyes that indicated worry, his face that indicated he had the ability to feel.
“Don’t make me hate them less.”
He turned his back to him and ran away, leaving Yonji behind.
-
Zoro leaned on the doorframe of the boy’s room.
“So that’s your brother?”, he pointed his head towards the deck.
Sanji was laying on the hammock, his hands covering his eyes.
“That is not my brother”, he spat, accentuating every word, “My brother is not like that. He-“, he pointed his finger in the direction of where their visitor stood outside, “He’s how my brother-.”
Sanji sat up and thought about this version of Yonji, “That’s how my brother would’ve been.”
His eyes were wet, he wiped the tears away and tore at his hair strands, “Why am I crying?”
He wheezed, the air getting stuck in his throat, “I hate them. I hate them.” The tears were spilling out of Sanji’s eyes now and if Zoro didn’t intervene then he would’ve torn out a big chunk of his hair.
“I shouldn’t care about them.” He looked into Zoro’s good eye who was now kneeling before him, “Why do I care about them?”
Zoro put his arms around him, pressed a kiss on his temple and let him sob into his chest. He drew small circles on his back to help him cool down.
“You should talk to him”, Zoro’s voice was tranquil and raspy, another wave of calmness washed over him.
He put his hand on his cheek, “If I had the chance to talk to Kuina again. Even once.” He took a deep breath in, “I know my Kuina would’ve turned out differently than some Kuina from another reality but she’d still be her, ya know?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about”, he whispered, “It’s not the same.”
“Do you want to enlighten me?”
“You sure as shit know that I don’t like to talk about that part of my life.”
“Curly”, Zoro let himself fall to the ground, taking his arm with him and kissing his wrist, “you can’t keep avoiding him.”
“Watch me.”
He looked at him, his golden eye boring into his face.
“He calmed you down.”
“What?”
“During your panic attack. He knew exactly what to do, kept his calm and was immediately ready to help you.”
“He’s the reason I had my panic attack so I will not give him any credit.”
“He won’t leave if you don’t talk to him.”
He let out a groan and sat in front of Zoro on the floor, entangling their legs, “How would you know?”
“I don’t but Robin does”, he waved his hand in front of his face, “She thinks the storm is responsible for this. Would explain why the witch didn’t see it coming.”
“Don’t talk about Nami-san like that.”
He ignored him, “She also thinks that you’re the only one who can make him leave. He is from your life so I guess that makes sense.”
“Can’t we just wait for another storm?”, he let his head fall onto Zoro’s shoulder.
“I don’t think it works like that.”
They sat in silence, Zoro brushing through his blond hair and Sanji playing with the stash around Zoro’s waist.
“I have three brothers”, he broke off the silence, not seeing the point in keeping this all secret anymore, not when his stupid brother was outside on his ship.
“We were born on the same day.”
“Quadruplets?”
He nodded, “My biological father is a crazy man, a scientist with little sense of ethics or any love for his family. He’s also a king with a cruel and violent mindset. His dream is to take over the North Blue for which he’d need a strong army.”
He took a deep breath in before he continued, “He experiments on humans, trying to make them more durable and powerful. My brothers and I are his biggest experiment, mutated from the beginning, experimented on before we were even born. We were supposed to be these super humans, ideal soldiers without any emotions. My mother”, he bit his bottom lip, “she tried to save us but only succeeded with me. My brothers were born emotionless and so much stronger than me. They hit me, Zoro. Almost every day.”
Zoro brushed off the tears on his face that had crept out of his eyes again. Zoro’s touch was gentle even though his body was tense, visibly trying to control his anger.
“I take it back. You don’t have to talk to him.”
He sniffed, suppressing a wet laugh.
“I wish they hated me”, he whispered, “I wish they did all the things they did to me because they’re bad people and chose to do bad things. I want to be able to look in their eyes and see dark hatred. It would be so much easier to hate them back.”
“I always celebrated my birthday alone”, he told him, thinking back to Germa and its cold stone walls, “Even though we share the same one, I was always alone. Every year I cut them some of my cake, hoping that maybe they’d change their minds. Maybe they’d show up.”
He laughed, feeling stupid for ever thinking that.
“I always wished for my brothers’ love”, he hit his head on Zoro’s chest, “And some stupid part of me seems like it still wants that. Did you see how he looked at me? He was worried and smiled. Marimo, he joked around! He was genuinely happy to talk with me. He called me his brother with so much adoration in his voice.”
He let out a frustrated groan, “I wouldn’t feel like this if they had chosen to hate me. I wouldn’t feel so confused and sad. God, I never really thought about their situation. I tried not to. I didn’t want to feel sympathy for them.”
Zoro cradled his face, his lips pressed together.
“Maybe this is your chance then. To get to know this stolen version of your brother.”
“But he's not real.”
“He’s real. And he’s here.”
Zoro touched his curly eyebrow and traced it with his finger, “Don’t do something you don’t want to but he can’t stay with us forever. So if you don’t make him leave, we can always just push him overboard.”
Sanji rolled his eyes, “We’re not killing my brother.”
“It’s always an option, don’t forget that.”
He shook his head with a small smile, “Not necessary.”
He bit into his lip anxiously, “I think I do want to talk to him. I’m just-.”
He took a deep breath in, “I guess I’m scared.”
“Swirls”, Zoro said softly.
“It’s fine. I survived my childhood, I’ll survive this.”
“You don’t have to survive this alone”, he kissed his forehead, “Me and the crew will be right there with you.”
“Thanks mosshead”, he let himself be held by Zoro and smiled , “You’re really just a big ol’ softie, aren’t you?”
The swordsman blushed.
“You’re red marimo”, Sanji chuckled.
“You’re seeing things.”
“Mhmm.”
They stayed like that for a bit. Bodies close and hearts even closer.
-
“Oh! Your food is amazing”, he stuffed another bite in before he continued, “I mean it’s already pretty good back in Germa, but this is thousand times better.”
“I know right?”, Luffy asked, a happy blush on his face, “Sanji’s the best.”
Luffy and Yonji were fighting for the food, their hands so fast he couldn’t defend the ladies’ plates. Sanji kicked both of them, “Let the others have some dinner too, you greedy pigs.”
He didn’t remember Yonji caring about food. Judge could’ve infused him with nutrients and he wouldn’t have cared. If their royal image hadn’t mattered to Judge, it wouldn’t have been that wrong to assume that Judge did exactly that.
His mother was the only one that had cared about his cooking and to see Yonji enjoy it this much awakened something in him.
Yonji’s face held a bright smile. “I’m so proud of you Sanji.”
He froze up and his face burned against his will.
“You found a way to really learn cooking.”
“I mean”, Sanji coughed, “There's still so much more to learn but I did come a long way.”
Yonji sighed in content, “This is the best food I’ve ever eaten.”
He pointed to the bowl on the other side of the table with his fork, “Skeleton guy, can you give me that bowl?”
Brook laughed and did as asked.
They continued eating, loud and lively.
“Is it always this chaotic when you eat together?”, Yonji asked, mesmerized.
“Believe me, it’s always this chaotic, not just when we eat”, Nami shielded her dinner from Luffy’s rubber hands.
“We never eat like this. It’s always so quiet”, he took another bite and chewed, “Except on those days where father doesn’t eat with us.”
Sanji tensed.
“Or when Niji’s in one of his moods. He really can’t shut up.”
“Sounds sad”, Robin said, her eyes on Sanji, making him feel small.
“You get used to it”, he shrugged.
“Oh oh Yonji, how does it feel like to be in a different universe?”, Usopp asked eagerly.
“It’s weird. Sometimes I think I’m dreaming but everything feels so real. I went from one place to the other in seconds. It was kinda scary.”, he looked at Sanji, “Meeting a different Sanji is pretty nice though.”
“You two look really similar”, Chopper said, “You could wear the same clothes and I wouldn’t know who is who.”
“It’s perfect for tricking people. It’s pretty fun.”
Yonji raised his arm excitedly as he told a story from his childhood. His hand suddenly appeared in Sanji’s periphery making him flinch.
He froze. He thought he put those days behind him. The days in which every little movement too close to his body made him short circuit. He stood up to grab more food from the kitchen. He reached for one of his cigarettes in his pockets, lit it and hoped the nicotine would help him relax in some way.
He stood in the kitchen, feeling like someone punched him in the gut. He always knew that he had feared his brothers. He remembered waiting for them to fall asleep before going to bed himself to avoid their nightly mischief. He could protect himself a lot better when he was awake.
He remembered how his body trembled every time they made fun of him. He remembered curling into himself when he had been hiding from them under the table. He remembered how he had closed his eyes whenever they found him.
What he didn’t know was that he still carried that fear with him.
-
He sneaked around the ship, trying to see what his brother was doing. He was talking to Brook, Usopp and Chopper. It looked like he was telling them a story, his hands flying up and down and gesturing as they moved. The three listeners were captivated.
He just couldn’t get his head around this whole situation. It made his heart feel heavy, a painful lump sitting in his throat. Seeing his younger brother, with his hair blond and his eyes a bright blue, his lips always upturned slightly as if he was just waiting for an opportunity to laugh.
“Did you know that Ace tried to kill me when we were children?”
Sanji jumped, not having heard Luffy approach. When his brain registered what Luffy had said his shoulders slumped down.
“Luffy, we don’t have to talk about Ace.”
It was the first time since his death that Sanji mentioned his name in front of Luffy. He never knew how or if to bring it up. He didn’t want Luffy to talk about something he wasn’t ready to share.
But Luffy continued.
“At first it was just indirectly. He hoped the forest and animals would do the job for him but then I found his secret hideout and he tied me to a tree and tried to do it himself.”
Luffy laughed, “I was afraid for my life. Cried a whole lot. Annoyed both Ace and Sabo. In the end they couldn’t do it.”
Sanji didn’t know how to answer to that so he kept quiet.
Luffy sighed at the memory.
“I’m just saying brothers are stupid, Sanji.”
Sanji frowned. He didn’t like how his mind was comparing Luffy’s brother who sacrificed himself for him, who had loved him as brightly as the Alabasta sun to his own brother who was born as a silent song.
“Some people are just bad Luffy, not stupid.”
“No one is just bad.”
“Well what if all their good qualities were stolen?”
“Sanji, now you’re being stupid”, Luffy laughed, “We’re pirates, we just steal them back.”
His captain clapped him on the back as he snickered loudly.
Something similar to guilt grew in the pit of his stomach. He had never thought about helping his brothers. Most of his childhood consisted of survival and pain, there was never time to stop and think of how he could help his siblings. And when he finally had time, far away from Germa on a floating restaurant, he had tried his best to forget them.
Maybe he was being selfish.
He looked over to Yonji who was still talking to his nakama. He looked up as if he had sensed Sanji’s eyes on him and he stopped speaking to smile at him.
“Do you want to steal them back?”
Luffy’s voice was a lot more serious than before.
“I don’t know if that’s possible,” he began.
“But if you could?”
“Yes, I would like to steal them back”, he said, feeling breathless.
Luffy nodded, his straw hat moving with his head.
He let his gaze fall back to his brother.
He listened to him, keeping his distance but not hiding anymore.
-
“Tell me something about your life”, Sanji asked him. They were sitting around the table in the galley. Sanji was writing in his recipe book while Yonji read. It was a weird habit they created. Yonji had admitted that he liked watching him cook and he couldn’t bring himself to throw him out of his kitchen, not when he asked him with those eyes.
Yonji liked being near him in general. At first it made him feel uncomfortable, still not being able to separate this Yonji and the Yonji from his childhood but at some point he got used to it.
“You know most of it. Germa is shitty, father is shitty, mother is dead, scientists are crazy. “
“That’s not what I meant. Tell me about the things you like to do, what we played as children, tell me about Ichiji and Niji.”
“I mean they’re annoying. Ichiji might be a tad overprotective. And you and Niji are fucking crazy. There was this one time where you two set fire to the bathroom. I still don’t know why.”
Sanji put his chin on his hand and listened carefully, encouraging Yonji to continue.
“Ichiji is a bit of a know it all. God, the amount of times I’ve heard him defend himself with ‘It’s because I’m older’. Every day I’m grateful that Reiju's older than him and that someone can shut him up.” He tilted his head, “He thinks he needs to take responsibility for all of us. He steps up when we’re in trouble. Sometimes I wish he’d just focus on himself.”
Yonji put his book aside that he borrowed from the ship’s library, a recommendation from Robin.
“Niji likes to tinker with stuff. He’s a bit like your cyborg friend”, he sighed, “He kind of hates it though. Some of his inventions are really good and they make father proud. I think he likes him the best out of the five of us and it makes Niji feel a bit unsettled.”
He shook his head, “He likes to draw too. He paints all of his gadgets. They look pretty cool.”
He leaned his head on the top of the chair and thought about something.
“We really liked to play hide and seek as children. When you already live in a castle you should also use it to your advantage.”
Yonji smiled at the memory and something bitter made its way into Sanji’s mouth. He tried to refrain from frowning and redirected his attention to his brother’s arm instead of face.
“That’s a really ugly tattoo.”
He looked at his arm and shrugged, “Ah, you know, you shouldn’t tattoo children, their body is still growing.”
“It was Judge.”
He didn’t know why this surprised him. He knew very well what his biological father was like. Tattooing children would be one of the nicer things he’d done.
“Yeah, I mean we look really similar. He had to keep us apart somehow.”
Sanji’s fingers tapped on the wooden surface of the table, drumming a regular pattern.
“In this universe you were born with green hair. Ichiji with red and Niji with blue. Guess that made it easier keeping us apart.”
“Green?”, he complained, “I fucking hate that color. Everything in my life is green. My bedroom door is green, my bed is green!”
Sanji chuckled, remembering how all of his own belongings had been yellow.
“So what is your favorite color?”
“Hmm, I like purple.”
“Purple?”, he laughed, “I would have never guessed that!”
“Hey, it’s pretty! Don’t mock my favorite color!” He paused for a second before he asked, his voice dropping in volume, “Is yours still blue?”
“Yeah”, Sanji smiled and thought about the marimo, “I do have a little weakness for green though.”
"I noticed."
He blushed, “Is it that obvious?”
“Very. Also I saw you kissing.”
He snickered, “I’ll tell the Sanji in my universe all about this. I don’t think ‘falling in love with a dirty pirate’ is on his wish list.”
“It wasn’t on my wish list either”, he crossed his arms, “So many pretty ladies and my heart chooses the mosshead.”
“You can’t fool anyone. I can see your disgustingly sweet smiles after you fight him. He makes you happy.”
He blushed again. Never in his life did he think he would talk about his love life with one of his brothers. It made him feel so vulnerable. The way Yonji could take one look at him and know exactly what he was feeling.
“Did you ever make me laugh?”, he asked suddenly.
“What?”, Yonji was taken aback by the question.
“Do you make me laugh? In Germa?”
He let out a nervous chuckle, “You sound like we never made you laugh even once in this universe.”
“That’s because you didn’t.”
“We laugh”, he said finally, “ In a kingdom like Germa it's the only thing you have.”
Yonji played with the hem of his shirt, clearly hesitant about something.
“I don’t even know if I want to know but how am I like in this universe?”
Sanji looked away, not daring to look into his eyes, “Strong, inhumanly. Your skin is like a concrete wall. Your punches feel like being hit by a concrete wall, that’s for sure. Your eyebrows curl the other way. You’re mean, heartless and cold. You tortured me.”
He turned his gaze back to Yonji whose face was frozen in place, “You don’t cry, you don’t smile, not in a joyful sense at least, you don’t get happy or angry, you don’t pull jokes, you have never burnt red from embarrassment, you don’t hug, you don’t kiss.”
Yonji put his hand over his mouth to make him shut up, “I don’t want to hear more.”
He pushed his hand away and continued, “You haven’t shed a tear when our mother died. You never helped me when our father imprisoned me. You stomped on my food, pushed bugs down my clothes, almost killed me on multiple occasions.”
Yonji bit his lip, his eyes sparkling deep blue with emotion.
“And yet, I can’t bring myself to stop caring about you.”
“You should hate me.”
“I do.”
“So why?”
“How can I blame you for any of that when it was Judge who made you like that?”
He rose up to leave, the conversation weighing on him more than he liked to admit, when Yonji stood too and hugged him.
“I know this counts as nothing but believe me if I had the power to feel in this universe, I would've loved you. So much. Like I do now.”
He increased the pressure of their hug, enveloping his whole body in the embrace. Sanji stood there frozen, his arms limp on the side. His hands rose, the motion slow and unsure. He put his palms on his brother’s back and relaxed into the hold, his head falling onto his shoulder.
He didn’t know how long they stood there, both of their eyes wet and red.
-
“Pirates”, Franky yelled, “And they look super angry so prepare for an attack.”
“Finally”, Zoro said.
“Could you stop wishing for us to get attacked just so you can get your work-out?” Usopp readied his weapon but didn’t seem too eager.
“I don’t wish for that.”
“Ah please, you were a few days away from making a prayer circle”, Nami took out her climate tack and was looking at the approaching ship.
“I was not.”
“Just give it up mosshead. This is not something you can win”, Sanji shook his head, holding back laughter, “My swords are moaning that they want to taste blood.”
Zoro turned tomato red, Sanji could almost feel the heat he was radiating.
“I’m never speaking to you ever again.”
“Aw don’t be like that”, Sanji put his arm around his.
“I hate you.”
“You love me”, he poked his finger into his chest, “You love me so much.”
“We’re literally being attacked right now. Can’t you guys do this another time?”
Sanji’s smile grew even wider and he stole a kiss from Zoro, leaving the swordsman even redder. He let him go again and walked up to his brother who was making gagging sounds. He rolled his eyes which made Yonji stop and laugh quietly behind his hand.
“Do you need me to fight?” , Yonji asked, sitting with his legs crossed on the lawn.
“Nah”, Sanji smirked, “Luffy could do this alone without even getting out of breath. You can just relax and watch some pirate action.”
Luffy yelled excitedly and then he could feel a rubber arm curl around his waist, “Zoro, Sanji, ready?”
His face paled but before any of them could even answer, he was catapulting them to the other ship, both of their bodies held by one of Luffy’s arms.
“You stupid rubber”, he kicked Luffy when they landed but he just continued laughing, “I didn’t learn how to fly just so you can drag me along with these dangerous acts of yours!”
“This way is a lot faster though”, he pouted for a second before he went off to fight the enemies. He groaned and kicked the pirate that stood right in front of him with his axe raised and an ugly smirk on his face.
It was the truth when he said Luffy could easily defeat these pirates without even trying. Zoro didn’t even use all three of his swords.
They were back on the Sunny faster than he initially thought they’d need. Zoro was pouting next to him, not having had nearly enough action. He patted his head and promised him a good spar after dinner.
“You fight so differently”, Yonji noted when he sat next to him on the lawn.
“You’re the best swordsman from the five of us so I assumed you’d be one here too.”
“Did he just say swordsman?”, he heard Zoro from the other side of the ship.
“Keep it in your pants Roronoa.”
He turned his attention back to his brother, leaning on his arms, “Eh, I didn't really like sword fighting and I wanted to fight without putting my hands at risk so I changed my fighting style. It feels a lot more like me.”
“I can see that. You actually enjoy it.”
“Fighting doesn’t always mean spilling blood. Sometimes it means protecting the ones you love.”
Yonji stared at him, mouth open, “I guess you’re right.”
He pushed his hair out of his eyes, a movement his own Yonji used to do a lot when they were children.
“Sometimes I can’t believe you’re him”, he began, the warm ocean breeze blowing around them, “At first I thought I needed to look at you as someone different, as a separate person but that’s not true. You’re him. You’re the Yonji I grew up with.”
He shook his head and corrected himself, “Or should’ve grown up with.”
Yonji kept quiet.
“Do you think he’d want to be saved?”
His brother stared at him, biting his lower lip.
“Would you want to be saved?”
He stared at him and finally answered, “Yes.”
Sanji smiled at him, a small fire burning in his chest.
He looked to the sea, the sun glistening on the water surface, fish jumping out the water and falling into it again. Luffy and Usopp were fishing, both of them sitting on the railing and laughing about something.
“Hey Yonji.”
“Hmm?”
“Have I ever talked about the All Blue in your reality?”
“The ocean? Like in that one book?”
He nodded.
“You loved that book book as a child. Always talked about going there. Why d’you ask?”
He scratched the back of neck shyly, “It’s kind of my dream. To find the All Blue.”
He sighed, “I just thought I’d have the same one but I guess that makes sense. I acquired that dream in a…tight situation.”
Tight was the wrong word but there wasn’t really one word to describe it with. Isolating might be the most descriptive one. He was alone and felt lonely. That was the most obvious and superficial feeling he felt at that time.
Helpless was another feeling. He was spiraling, maybe even going insane. He remembered how the tight metal on his head made it all worse. He also remembered needing to escape all of it. And at first, that came in the form of a book and a miracle ocean.
“So what is my dream in your reality?”
Yonji smiled, “We talk about it sometimes. After a bad battle, on the hospital beds. About a place where you can cook without fear. Where we can do whatever we want. Where we’ll never have to fight again.”
He looked into his eyes, the similarities in their faces surprising him once more, “Your dream, Sanji, is to have a home.”
He swallowed.
“We try not to think about it too often. False hopes and stuff.”
“I believe in a mystic ocean. I’m sure you’ll find a home.”
“We can’t hide from Judge. He’ll find us everywhere.”
“But you Sanji”, he waved his hands at him, “you’re free. You escaped.”
His shoulders tensed.
“Aren’t you like…each other’s home?”
“Of course we are and I would rather be stuck in Germa for all eternity than lose my family but we can dream for freedom too. A home that’s not Germa.”
“Look”, Yonji sighed, brushing his hand through his hair, holding a few strands for a moment and then releasing them again, “I’m happy that we all still have our emotions but Sanji, our life-”
He swallowed audibly, “Our life is far from perfect. Germa’s still a shitty place. I mean look at you. You’re a cook, just like you always wanted. The Sanji from my universe has no one to learn from. We’re stuck and we can’t seem to get out.”
“Is that your dream too?”, he asked him.
Yonji nodded slowly, “We- I just want to live. Together. With my family. Without wars and death and experimentations.”
“I lost my arm”, he lifted his sleeve and showed his non-tattooed arm.
“I didn’t even notice”, he gasped, “It looks so real.”
“It’s because our father is a genius. He found a way to replicate my arm and make it stronger. It’s probably the only thing me and your Yonji have in common.”
“Don’t call Judge my father.”
He looked at him apologetically.
“It’s the worst accident that has ever happened to us”, he continued, “We should consider ourselves lucky. Something way worse could’ve happened.”
He touched his arm, his fingers gliding up to his elbow, “It doesn’t feel right.”
“Father was delighted that he could exchange it though”, he grabbed his arm more tightly, the flesh deforming, “He doesn’t consider us as people.”
“He never considered us as people. He threw me away like- like some broken thing. I was a failed experiment and what value does that have to him?”, Sanji took a deep breath in to calm himself down, “He doesn’t consider my brothers as people too. They’re just weapons to him.”
He spat the word ‘weapon’ like it was poisonous.
“The man who raised me and I consider my real and only father gave up his leg for me”, he told Yonji, still feeling irritated and angry but his voice a lot softer as he spoke of Zeff.
“He didn’t even know me and I tried to kill him too.”
“It was the last time I thought of Vinsmoke Judge as anything else but a monster. If a random pirate had in him to save a child just out of the kindness in his heart, while that child’s father couldn’t even fathom the idea of treating him like a normal human being-”, he played with the cigarette pack that he’d taken out of his pocket, “then how could anyone even call that man a father?”
“He’s the only one we have.”
“Yonji, Judge is not a father. And from what you told me he’s not that different than he is here and it hurts me to hear you call him that.”
Yonji didn’t say anything to that.
“He tried to take your emotions. Just because it didn’t work in your reality doesn’t make it any better.”
“I know that.”
“Do you though? Because it feels like you don’t. Do I need to tell you more of what you’re like here?”
“No.”
“Just”, Sanji let out a frustrated groan, “Don’t put Judge on this pedestal just because he played a role in your birth. He doesn’t deserve it.”
“I know, I know. It’s just not easy.”
“You don’t have to tell me that. I had to work through it. He disowned me, he basically killed Vinsmoke Sanji and still I asked myself what I could do differently so he would accept me. That road has no end and you should leave it before you lose yourself.”
“You have a family, Yonji”, he put his hand on his shoulder, “You won’t lose a father because you never had one. And you’ll still have your family and someday you’ll realize that you never needed Judge.”
Yonji jumped to his side and hugged him. It wasn’t their first hug but it still felt so alien.
“Even in this universe you still have those stupid older brother instincts.”
“I thought Ichiji had those?”, he blinked confused, the energy from his speech still flowing through his body.
“He does but you’re also my older brother, so per definition you have them too.”
Sanji’s lips turned upwards, the small fire in his chest growing in size.
-
The days passed and Yonji still wouldn’t leave. It was clear that it had nothing to do with a time limit or with their geographical position. They had left the part of the sea where the storm appeared days ago.
He had watched Yonji this past week, trying to engrave all of these unknown facial expressions into the back of his eyelids. The happiness, the frowns, the anger, the sadness and the grief.
“Yonji?”, he began, lowering the heat on the stove so his food wouldn’t burn.
"Yeah?"
“I know you want to go back.”
“What?”
“This is not your life and you miss the others.”
“I can stay a bit longer”, he assured him, “I mean you’re here, so it’s not that bad.”
“You don’t need to stay for me.”
“But I want to stay for you”, he stood up, the chair falling onto the floor behind him, “You’re going to be all alone again if I leave.”
“I’m not alone. I have my crew and that old geezer and the Baratie back in the East.”
“But you won’t have us. Me.”
“Yonji…”, he sighed, “You can’t stay here. Me and my crew still have a dangerous adventure before us. We want to make Luffy the pirate king and we’re going to turn the world upside down in the process. I don’t want to force you to do this with us.”
He looked to the side and added quietly, “And I’m sure the others are looking for you. They’re probably going crazy over there.”
Yonji shook his head, clearly not wanting to leave him.
“Can you take this with you?” He handed him a piece of paper.
“What is it?”
“Two recipes. One is my favorite meal. I wrote it down exactly like my father always made it to me. I think your Sanji would like it, the others probably too. And the second is a”, his voice broke off for a moment, “a North Blue cake. The cooks used to make it for me on our birthday. I improved it a bit and maybe you four can bake it on your next birthday.”
“There’s some cooking tips and tricks too. Something you’d never find in Germa”, he added quickly, suddenly feeling awkward.
Yonji walked up to him and stopped right in front of him.
“I guess this means goodbye then?”, he took the paper and put it into his pocket. His voice was a little shaky and his eyes watery.
“I wish I could give you something too but I don’t really have my belongings with me.”
He put his finger on his chin, thinking hard.
“Do you want to do something silly?” , he said finally.
“Why not?”
Yonji raised his hand, his pinky the only outstretched finger.
“It’s a pinky promise. Something very sacred in siblinghood. You can’t ever break it.”
Sanji smiled, something very warm spreading in his chest. He curled his own finger around his brother’s before Yonji made his promise.
“I promise to never forget you.”
“Then I promise to never forget you too.”
After the words were spoken Yonji started to slowly disappear. His skin turned into sea foam, the smell of the ocean spreading in the room. A bright grin was the last thing he saw of his brother, the taste of salt lingering on his tongue.
He stood in the galley, alone again, with his pinky raised.
-
He was smoking his fifth cigarette.
Some people might call this unhealthy behavior but this was a lot better than having to sort out his thoughts.
“Sanji? How are you feeling?”, Robin walked into the galley and disrupted his peace.
“Absolutely amazing. This was an amazing experience I had to live through.”
He forced a smile, “If you’ll excuse me.”
One of Robin’s hands sprouted next to the door and locked it.
“Sorry, but you’re not excused.”
She sat down on one of the chairs surrounding the dining table. The one that Yonji always used to sit on.
“Again, how are you?”
He leaned on the kitchen cabinets, his head hitting the wood a few times, “Shitty.”
He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip so hard he could taste blood in his mouth.
He felt so angry.
He let out a frustrated scream.
“Why the fuck did this stupid ocean decide to do that?”
He pushed himself off the cabinets.
“I don’t know what stupid lesson I’m supposed to learn here. That my brothers are good people? Okay and what now? I’ll never see that Yonji again. And now I’m left grieving him and missing a childhood I never even had. I’m jealous of the me that got to live it and that me will never know how much he needs to appreciate it.”
Angry tears fell down his skin.
“He likes reading and the color purple. And he loves his family. Why isn’t he allowed to do that in this world?”
“Your brothers could've been good people and the fact that they’re not is not your fault.”
Robin looked at him, “Stop feeling guilty for being the only one who made it out.”
“But he deserves it too-“
“It’s not your fault”, she repeated, interrupting him, ”and there’s not a reason why it’s you. Just like there’s no reason why I’m the only survivor of Ohara, there’s no reason why you're the only Vinsmoke sibling who’s human.”
He took a shaky breath, “It’s not fair.”
“It’s never fair.”
He sat down next to Robin.
“I liked him”, he whispered, “It was the first time I liked being a brother.”
He put his head on the table, his cigarette burning down to his fingers.
“I‘ve been thinking of helping them”, his voice got even quieter, “My brothers in this universe. And while I know I want to help them, I don’t know if I could forgive them. Is that bad of me?”
“No”, she reassured him, her thumb brushing the backside of his hand.
“It feels bad though.”
“How about you worry about that when they ask you for your forgiveness?”
He nodded slowly.
“I hope they find their home. I hope they can make their dreams come true.”
“I’m sure they hope the same”, she smiled at him, her face having that motherly touch it sometimes had.
His eyes started to water. He didn’t blink, trying to contain the tears on his eyes which made his vision blur. He covered his face with his hands, the lump in his throat growing in size.
“I’m going to miss him.”
He laughed, “I’m really going to miss that fucker.”
He thought about the Yonji from his childhood who’ll always continue to live in his memories as cold and brutal. He added the word caged to all of those adjectives he used to describe him.
Caged and maybe, possibly, hopefully one day he could add loving too.