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He stirs the spoon in his mug idly, Wilbur watches the amber liquid swirl and ripple.
Across from him sits his therapist, her eyes are trained on him, a careful softness to her expression as she waits for him to answer her question.
He's been feeling unwell lately, like there's a weight on his chest he can't get rid of, sitting here in front of someone who will willingly listen is so scary for whatever reason.
It takes him a few moments before he can find his voice, “I… I’ve been worried.” He whispers it like it’s a sin.
“And what’s got you worrying?” She asks, her tone neutral but encouraging as can be.
He swallows, still staring down at his tea, “The posters, I keep seeing them everywhere and I can’t help but feel a bit paranoid.” He tries for a laugh but it comes out dry and awkward.
In his peripheral vision he sees her clasp her hands together, resting them on the tip of her knee crossed over the other.
When she doesn’t say anything he continues, “Um… I know it’s not normal, but whenever I see one of those missing posters… it’s like my heart rate picks up, and.. I can’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.”
Even now there’s a certain tightness to his chest, just talking about it makes him want to double over.
“Don’t worry Wilbur, I understand your anxiousness.” Her voice was dripping with sympathy, “The disappearances can be hard at first, and some people deal with it differently.” Wilbur glances up, the tension loosening in his chest.
She gives him a small smile, “What do you think specifically when you see those posters?”
He thinks for a few moments, trying to structure his memories and feelings together so that he can explain them properly.
"When I see a poster I sort of freeze up, and I think 'Oh god, what if that happens to me?' And then my brain just comes up with terrifying situations where I end up dead or- or kidnapped. It feels like impending doom is upon me and I can't do anything about it, it's terrifying." He groans,"And all those poor families who lost their loved ones…I could never imagine losing my family."
The thought of losing his brother, dad- one of his family members like so many others haunts him.
He hears her hum, "Those thoughts aren't rational, the probability of you going missing is very low but that anxious part of yourself refuses to believe it. You have to quell those irrational worries, find ways to cope with them, have you tried that?"
He stops stirring and finally looks up at her, he winces “No, I haven’t really been doing anything about it at all if I’m being honest.”
She snorts, “That’s okay, I have a few ideas for what might help you.” Wilbur perks, “Oh?”
She unclasps her hands and reaches for the clipboard sitting on the coffee table between them. She flips the pages a few times before stopping, she scribbles on it, then tears it out and hands it to him.
“Here are a few activities that may help you forget about the posters.” He takes it, there are 3 things listed:
-Busy yourself with something you love
-Get lots of sleep (take naps!)
-When you find yourself thinking about the posters, repeat to yourself “I am safe in Eggpirus” (you are!) until you feel better
His brows draw together, “How are these meant to help me?”
She chuckles, raising one hand with one finger up “Busying yourself distracts you," she puts up a second finger, "sleep allows your mind to calm down and think rationally," then a third, "and reassuring yourself always helps. If they don’t work, come back to me and I'll find something else to help you.” She puts her hand down and her face turns from calm cheerfulness to seriousness, “Wilbur, what you’re going through is common, most kids come to me at some point for the same reason, not just kids- adults too! So you aren’t alone Wilbur . With my help you can learn how to conquer your unreasonable anxiety and be like the rest of us.”
Wilbur breathes out, relieved, “Oh thankgod, for a second there I really did feel alone, whenever I bring up how I feel, people always look at me weird, all of my classmates have called me delusional more times than I can count…” he smiles, “But I think you’ve helped me see the light.”
She does a little shrug, curly white hair shifting with the motion “Don’t listen to them, you aren’t stupid you’re just struggling, even if what you’re feeling isn’t right it doesn’t mean you can’t correct it.”
His heart sinks and he looks at her weird, “But I thought you just said it’s common.”
She shakes her head, “It’s common but it’s not right, Eggpirians shouldn’t feel that way.”
He continues to stare at her, confused, something isn’t aligning in his brain.
“As an Eggpirian you are safe, and to feel unsafe is to be distrustful in the Egg, and thats so sad because- you are safe.” She says it like it would be ridiculous to feel otherwise, this places uncertainty in Wilbur, his chest twists into a knot. He’s suddenly just as stumped and anxious as he was at the beginning of the session. He mentally kicks himself for thinking against this truth.
His therapist is leaning across the space between them, her hands reach toward him, palms facing up. An invitation for him to take them. He hesitantly places his hands in hers, she squeezes them lightly, “Wilbur, I believe that you’ll get through this challenge, you are so capable and smart, and never forget that I’m right here with you through it.” She smiles- it’s so genuine and caring that Wilbur can’t help but believe her, he wants to believe her.
“It is looking out for you, while you're under the protection of It you are safe . As long as you obey, trust, and come to my sessions, you’ll be just fine.”
He bites his lip, “And what if nothing works? Will the Egg hate me?”
She belts out a laugh, “The Egg will never hate you. As an Eggpiran you’ll struggle and the Egg knows this, It understands and is patient because It knows you will choose It.”
He’s still unsure, and he hates himself for that.
“Do you understand, Wilbur?” She asks, he nods his head jerkily.
She grins, “Awesome.” and lets go of his hands. She stands up, bending down to scoop up her clipboard, Wilbur sets his now cold mug of tea on the coffee table and stands with her.
"I think that concludes our session!"
"Y-yeah." He still feels wrong, but at the same time he has direction, that's enough for him.
"Uh- thankyou Puffy." He smiles weakly, she laughs and pats him on the back as she walks past him.
"No worries Wilbur, take care!" She holds the door open for him and he leaves.
He walks past more missing posters on his way back home, most are old and worn, barely holding on to the nail that keeps them to the wood lamp posts lining the street. When he passes them it feels as if they are staring at him, demanding that he acknowledge the lost souls they claim missing.
He tries to ignore them.