Chapter Text
mob was only aware of what he had done once it was completely over. he had completely covered himself in cuts.
only in places he could hide, of course.
arms, wrist, thighs, stomach.
every move he made caused him immense pain, to the point he couldn't help but cry out ever so slightly with each movement.
he had tracked blood all down the school's hallway.
at the moment, he was hiding in the bathroom. blood ran down his legs and arms. he could hear the drops hit the floor.
he felt sick.
it all started after one of his breakdowns. he didn't mean to hurt those boys, and he wished that he had more self control. he knew they would all only remember him as a ruthless, cold monster. he held back a sob at that thought.
this wasn't the first time he had done this, either. hurting himself like this, that is. he would have his explosions and then he would fall into a sorrowful and disgusted state with himself. and then he would turn to cutting himself.
a few tears ran down mobs face as he stared blankly at the stall door. he heard the drip drops of his blood collecting in a puddle on the floor.
this was definitely an all time low.
this time he had ran to the boys locker room and took it all out on himself. he grabbed the sharpest object he could locate (which happened to be a box cutter) and lost count of how many times he ripped it through his skin. he heard the kids from the class using the locker room that day start to head down there, so, despite his distant grip on reality, he was able to get himself to the nearest bathroom.
so here he was. bleeding and fading in and out of consciousness. and he had himself to blame. it was satisfying to him. but something about the situation made him feel greedy, and cold. anxiety pushed its way into his head. he couldn't stop thinking about what he did.
a group of guys his age had approached him, and were pushing him around. pushing turned into hitting
...and eventually shigeo had enough of it.
he didn't want to, he didn't want to hurt them. he wanted to be better. he wanted to feel better.
and now he felt like this.
he thought, if he felt the pain they felt as well, it would put his mind at ease.
he was only half right.
the pain was so unbearable for mob that he felt like he was dying. he barely remembered doing all of this. when he woke up and saw the middle school boys who had been picking on him strewn about the floor, blood on his hands, he completely disconnected from reality. everything felt like a blur. he must have spent an hour or so just taking the box cutter to his skin, face completely blank, nothing but a craving for himself to feel pain in his mind. all he could smell was blood.
he felt almost satisfied. he half wished he could bleed out and die right there, in a perfect world he would die right there. but he didn't want that for himself, people would never know how terrible he was, and they would only grieve him. they would see it as a tragedy, and as much as that thought made him want to smile in some disturbingly sick sense, he felt too disgusted with himself to do so.
mob stared at the blood dripping onto the floor. the rhythm of it hitting the bathroom tile was soothing. he leaned his head against the side of the stall and listened to the drips.
he was suddenly snapped out of it when the bell rang.
was it really already the end of the day?
he heard footsteps and voices quickly fill the halls. he wished he had been paying attention to the time, because he would have left before the end of the day so he wouldn't be questioned why he was covered in blood upon trying to leave the school's bathroom.
he quickly got up and stumbled over to the bathrooms entrance. he had already shut the door so the other boys in the school would assume that this bathroom was locked and they should find another one, but now he really did lock it.
mob sat down on the ground next to the door. the boys bathrooms in this school were truly not clean at all, but it was really the least of his worries. he just wanted to wait out the crowd and then get out of the school.
mob waited 15 or so minutes, falling asleep sitting up a few times. the hallway
sounded completely empty. the janitors usually did a sweep of the building 20 minutes after the bell, he knew this through his time spent in after school clubs. he had to leave before someone realized the door was locked and unlocked it.
he stood up, and looked down. there was some more blood around where he was sitting but not as much as in the stall. mob was exhausted, so much so that he didn't know how much longer he could use his abilities before passing out on the spot. he didn't want to use them. he didn't want to think about them.
he contemplated leaving the mess there, but he decided he didn't want to leave it to the school to clean it up, that felt rude.
mob got on his hands and knees and wiped up most of the mess with some toilet paper. he didn't do a perfect job, but he was running out of time. he just put the box cutter in his bag, he figured they wouldn't want it back now.
after the attempt at a clean up mob pushed his sleeves down as far as they could go. he sneaked his way out of the bathroom, and out of the school. he was shaking, and finding it hard fo walk.
suddenly he was receiving a call.
it was reigen.